Build Self Esteem - Build Low Self Esteem to High Self Esteem for Confidence, Motivation, Leadership There are many reasons that some people need to build self esteem in order to develop the personal qualities that they need. You may have low self esteem because of your background, including how you were raised. You might try to obscure your self, instead of stepping forward to volunteer for delivery of a presentation; even though you are the most qualified person in your company on the subject of concern. Your background, especially your childhood, may affect your performance and ability to advance in your company. Abuse and neglect on the part of your parents or guardians may affect you; it may linger and lay dormant in your conscious mind. But your subconscious mind never forgets. Your subconscious mind will sabotage and defeat your aim for advancement. It will be responsible for your poor self image. This commentary provides 3 tips to help you create high self esteem; and the tips can help you to act with confidence. People with self esteem problems often melt when given the opportunity to speak in public. Individuals who lack confidence would rather take any task head-on; rather than speaking in public. They shudder with fear when asked to speak in public. People that lack confidence always have thoughts running through their minds. They think that everybody will analyze them, instead of their message. In reality, it could be selfishness that is consequential of exploration to which they were subjected to as a child. And so they get nervous, agitated and edgy. You can use methods of self-improvement to nurture your character in order to build self esteem and act with confidence. Here are 3 tips to help you battle low self esteem and to build confidence. These methods will help you to discover your self-identity, show your core values; and to help you increase your inner values as well; and help you to build high self esteem and confidence. The first tip is to discover your inner identity. It is a step in the right direction when you discover the root cause of why you often feel the way you do. Truly knowing your self and your inner problems is the first step in building your leadership qualities. Are your inadequate leadership characteristics a result of a childhood trauma or ghastly experiences in your past? Address your problems; and it will aid you in your struggle against low self esteem and help you to act with confidence, which is an essential leadership trait. Make a monumental effort to over come your problem of lack of confidence. You may need to seek professional help after discovering the origin of your major problem so you can effectively deal with it. It is a first step to build high self esteem for your self. You can then move on and develop your leadership abilities; and you may then be able to act with confidence. The second tip to build self esteem is to distinguish between things that you can change those you cannot change. The "Serenity Prayer" begins like this, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." Develop a sense of responsibility for your actions. Building high self esteem attributes, rather than exhibiting behaviors that reflect low self esteem, means to accept responsibly your own happiness; and therefore it is your decision, to be happy or not to be happy. Cheerfulness is a leadership attribute. The thirds tip is really the easiest way to build high self esteem for your self; religiously practice actual self-help methods, which you can find Online. Dedicate a total of about 60 minutes, which it takes to complete the daily routines. The best known formula, which has been responsible for an untold number of people who have developed leadership qualities, are staggered in 10 and 20 minutes units and are put into practice each day. It is the easy way to build self esteem; and some very popular self-help success models include similar techniques. You simply need to use the self-success model of your choice in order to battle low self esteem if you want to quickly and effortlessly build high self esteem; and to become better able to act with confidence, which you need in order to advance to a position of leadership in your career. It's really not hard at all. As a matter of fact, there are success models that are quite easy to use. You are probably wondering: "How can it be easy to increase my will power; and to build self esteem from a low point to very high self esteem. Is there really a simple method," you may ask yourself, "which can help me to act with confidence; and indeed to have self confidence?" Honestly, there is at least one success model with which I am familiar that you can use while you are in your underwear & reclining in an easy chair; or even while you are relaxing on your bed. You can get high self esteem, willpower, faith, and; actually, you can get everything in the world that you really want. There are scads of self-help models Online. The hardest part for you to accomplish may be sorting through all the advertisements that are out there in order to find the one, which is right for you. Leadership Strategy - Horses Teach The First Step Of Emotional Intelligence For Effective Leadership My horse, Minnie is sleek and black with eyes that dart left and right watching my every move. She is standing stiff and tense by the round pen wall, waiting for me to begin our workday. Her ears are turned towards me and her eyes are wide, showing the white around the pupils. She looks like she is ready to bolt for the slightest reason. It's a foggy, rainy day and the air is cool enough so that when Minnie sticks her nose out to blow and snort I can see the frosty air rise and circle from her nostrils and finally dissipate in the wind. The atmosphere feels heavy with some unseen expectation hanging, waiting. Her tenseness surrounds us like a dark cocoon and I find myself waiting for one of us to snap like a banjo string. Picking up my whip I point it at Minnie's hip and before I can say a word, she springs up in the air and jumps forward, racing around the arena. Frustrated I think the word whoa and as I let my breath out to say the word she slides to a stop. I point with the whip again, this time asking her to change directions. She bolts with her tail in the air galloping around and around the arena. She is still blowing and snorting in the cool morning air and once again I barely think the word whoa and she jumps to a stop. Her whole body jars and bounces with her stop and it appears that she will come up over the top of the round pen wall. I am feeling more and more agitated. What on earth is wrong with her today? This is getting us nowhere. Throwing down the whip and grabbing the lead line I lead her out to the pasture mumbling the whole way. I'll just let her work off her excess energy alone, I mutter to myself. When I let her go Minnie races about fifty feet into the pasture, stops, looks around, and then quietly begins to graze. It seems she has no excess energy now! Taking a break and watching Minnie in the pasture I begin to realize this is about me today, not her. Horses mirror-image their handlers. If she is bouncing off the walls it is because there is something in me that's bouncing off the walls. She's reading me; it's my energy that's causing her to exhibit high, uncontrollable energy. I am the one who needs to take the time out and figure out what's going on inside me before I can get anything accomplished with Minnie. Isn't this the way it is with your employees or team? The tenseness in the air, the activity that causes your team to argue and not get anything accomplished and certainly not act as a team but more as a group of individuals each having their own agenda. And by the way the agenda is about them and their needs, not the company needs. Your team picks up their mood from you their leader. As their leader it's up to you to know what your emotions are, what feelings are driving you and how you're exhibiting them to your team. Otherwise you end up in chaos because your team is responding to your inner workings regardless of what you are attempting to say with your mouth. The Essential Competence for Leadership Excellence In the increasingly demanding world of business, leaders need to have a range of skills knowledge and experience. While all of these are vital foundations, what is clear is that success is no longer just about skills and expertise. Interpersonal or emotional competence is considered to be the most important factor in determining leadership excellence. Research undertaken by Daniel Goleman, the thought leader in Emotional Intelligence identified that softer skills are twice as important as intellect and expertise in achieving leadership excellence. Goleman's Emotional Competency framework is split into two broad areas: 1. Personal competence- how we manage ourselves 2. Social competence- how we manage others Personal Competence Our personal competence is all about how effective we are at managing ourselves. It includes how much self awareness we have, our ability to self regulate our behaviour and our personal motivation. In truth many people have never really spent much time building awareness of themselves and what makes them tick. Imagine the insights that you could gain if you just spent a small amount of time on this area. Social Competence Social competence considers how well we handle relationships. These days, it is hard to imagine many roles that are not highly dependent on relationships. The success of any organisation is dependent on building relationships to secure business, manage challenges, overcome obstacles to name just a few. Social competence is also about being aware of the feelings and concerns of others. Imagine what a change program would be like if that element was missing. Sadly many people struggle when they move into management and leadership roles, not because they lack skill or knowledge but because they lack the softer skills essential for success. So what's you next step in developing your emotional competence? Lead Yourself First So, you want to be a leader? It's not as easy as it sounds but it is simple if you take the suggestions outlined here that I'm going to give you. Many people believe that tenure at a job or in a position automatically qualifies them to be a leader. There are even some companies who practice that. I think that could be disastrous. On the other hand, if the candidate does an excellent job in the position and they have demonstrated leadership qualities, by all means they may be a good leader. But time in a position is not the only qualification. What I've seen proven again and again in terms of sales and management is that the best salesperson does not necessarily make the best leader. I know some phenomenal sales people who would make terrible managers, and they've told me so! Sure they are skilled in the technical aspects of sales and are excellent at what they do, but that doesn't mean that they have what it takes to be a leader. Leadership is much more than knowing what to do on a job or how it works. I don't want to focus on that for this specific article because there's a very important step that comes before leading others that many experts don't talk about and that's leading yourself. I'm going to tackle 3 areas of this subject that I think are crucial to your development and success. They are: --Accepting responsibility for where you are in your life --Taking responsibility for where you are going --Gathering the help you need --Accepting responsibility for where you are in your life This may be the toughest step for you in leading yourself but if you do it, I promise you that the rest of the journey will be easy. Here's where you look at your life and acknowledge where you are and why you are where you are. It's where you stand in front of the mirror and say hello to your biggest problem and the cause of all your life's anxiety and strife: You. Accepting responsibility for where you are brings you to the realization that you are in charge of your life and everything that has happened to you up to this point. It's where you realize it's either all your fault or an Act of God. By Act of God I mean a natural disaster or the death of a loved one. Those are about the only 2 things that you have no control over. And if I had more time with you I might be able to develop a good argument that we can control those as well. You might be saying, "C'mon Rich. You know I lost my job because my boss didn't like me or because I wasn't able to reach my quotas. He gave all the good accounts away! Then the market tanked! That had nothing to do with me. He fired me because he hated me." Well, you'd better sit down before you read my response to that. Here it is: You can look at every "bad" situation in your life and run it over and over in your mind and, if you really try, you can find at least one thing (probably many things) that you could have done better. And it may have been that one thing that would have changed the outcome of that situation. Going forward, I want you to pay close attention to every interaction you have with people. When you're through with your interaction I want you to make a mental note of what you would have liked to do better, say better or how you would have responded better. The key here is your response to the things that happen to you. You can "B and moan" or you can look at it constructively to gain some insight. The best leaders see how they can get value out of every situation they are faced with. As this becomes a habit, you'll find that your interactions will go much better. --Taking responsibility for where you are going This second step is very easy once you accept responsibility for where you are. But you can't skip the first step. Taking the steps in order will give you clarity and will naturally progress you to the next step. Here's where you now know that everything that's happened to you up to this point is your fault and you commit to fixing or changing it. This is where you need to start dreaming. Dream about where you want to go and what you want to do. Spend time making a list of everything you want to be, do, have or change. Take the limits off and write down whatever you can think of - short term and long term. Then turn them into actual goals. A good goal setting program comes into play here too. You'll need to learn how to set, track and achieve your goals. Goals are like a compass on a map. They help you get from point A to point B. You already figured out point A in the first step we talked about, now it's time to discover point B by making your dream list and then turning that list into goals. --Gathering the help you need Now that you've accepted the responsibility for where you are and have begun taking responsibility for where you're going, you'll need to gather some help to assist you in getting there. There are a couple of things you should begin to implement. You'll need a good personal development program that consists of positive, motivational material including books, CDs and seminars. Charlie "Tremendous" Jones says this: "You are the same today that you'll be 5 years from now except for 2 things: The people you meet and the books you read." These are not the only steps for you to take on your quest to lead yourself. But I think that they are the first 3 steps you should take. Remember, change takes time. Don't get frustrated if you're not seeing results quickly. One book, one CD or one seminar is not going to undo 30 or 40 years of programming. Learn to give yourself a break and be proud that you are on the road to change. I know you can do this and I definitely believe in you! Leadership Is Not Just About Winning The last play of the 2008 Super Bowl was conducted with only one second left on the clock. The New England Patriots, who were favored to win the game, were about to lose their only game of the year. They had hoped to be the first team since the 1972 Miami Dolphins to win a perfect season. In the dying seconds of the game, the Patriots tried desperately to get into scoring range for a chance to tie the game with a field goal, or win it with a touchdown. They failed on their final try, leaving one second on the clock, and possession of the ball to the New York Giants. There were a few moments of chaos where fans, media, and even some of the Patriots players went on the field to congratulate the Giants. However, since the rules state that the last seconds on the clock must be played out be fore the game officially ends, some members of the Patriots needed to get back on the field in order to complete the game. The Patriots coach, Bill Belichick, left the field before the end of the game was played. He basically abandoned part of his team on the field, because they failed to reach the ultimate goal: the Super Bowl ring. Although Belichick did an admirable job of bringing the Patriots within a few seconds of a perfect season, his final act cast a shadow on that accomplishment. As a leader, he should not have abandoned his team even if their fate was sealed. Imagine a CEO orchestrating a great deal, which would have tremendous benefits for every one in the company. But at the very last minute, when it comes time to sign on the dotted line, something fails and the deal falls through. As the person who orchestrated the operation, the CEO has a duty to sit this one through, and not just stand up and tell his staff, "Okay it didn't work out, you guys clean it up, I'm out of here." Belichick stood up and left. In situations of failure, more than ever, the leader must be present. It shows character, it shows that he cares about his team, and it shows that he is not driven solely by his ego. It can be argued that since there was nothing Belichick could have done at that point to change the outcome of the game, that it was okay for him to leave. However, he began the game with a team, and he should leave the game with his team. All of his team. A great leader holds a lonely position. When things go wrong, he takes the blame and covers for his team. When things go right, he praises them and does not take all the credit. Great leaders rarely get the chance to jump on stage, beat their chests and yell "I did it, I did it!" They let others do it for them instead. A great leader will receive the backing of his team during difficult situations. Similarly, during great successes, team members will praise the leader's contribution. When senior management ceases to display leadership behavior, there is an almost immediate effect on the behavior of the employees. Some employees feel disenchanted, and become less committed to their work and to their results. Productivity declines. Others will react by pushing back on any new endeavor, and will even try to sabotage current projects. Still others will just leave the company, thus depleting it of precious resources. Usually, the best team members are the ones who leave first, since they feel they will be better appreciated elsewhere. As the leader you need to display the same steadfast behavior in good times and in bad. Otherwise, you will quickly lose your employees' trust and commitment. Once that trust is lost, it can be very difficult to rebuild, and chances are it can never be rebuilt to the level it was before. As for the "almost perfect" New England Patriots players, only time will tell if Belichick has lost their trust, their commitment, and his job. Team Leader Training - Discover What It Takes To Get Your Workers To Respect You More and more team leader roles are surfacing in the 21st century but so few are actually trained to do the job. In this article, I'll share with you some of my personal secret tips for success. As long as you work hard and prove your worth, it's not that hard to make team leader these days. But working to get the job and actually doing it are two totally different things. The first requires you to work hard as I already mentioned but the second requires you to work "smart". What do I mean by this? Well, let me first shatter some delusions that you may be under. You see, most of us are led to believe that we should work hard to get anywhere in life. It seems such a virtuous thing, right? Wrong! Working hard to get somewhere is usually said by someone who took too long to get to their current position and resents the amount of time that it took and other people who get there more quickly. Frankly, you want to work smart so you can get more money in a shorter space of time and doing the least amount of work! Delegation Is Key To Not Getting Overloaded One of the first things you need to learn as a new team leader is how to delegate projects to those working for you. I know, you feel strange telling people, maybe your friends, what to do and ordering them about. Listen, would you rather that you did all the work? I'll tell you know that you will burn out quickly if you try to take too much on. Delegate the work and get agreement from your worker on when he will deliver the goods and on him taking ownership of the task so that he is responsible for the quality and being on time. Don't Try To Be Your Workers' Best Friend Many new team leaders try to either become or remain (if recently promoted) good friends with their workers. Speaking from experience, you can't do this. Your old friends will not be able to confide with you and chat with you before because you are now "one of them" i.e. the managers. Don't pretend to be their best buddy because when it comes to the rare occasions that discipline is needed, they won't be able to take you seriously. I'm not saying to become cold hearted and fall out with your workers. Instead, you need to keep a little distance between yourself and them plus you need to carry respect and earn it from them. In the long term, this respect that you carry will go much further than any false friendship. The Mandate for Leadership Whilst I have been watching the US presidential election campaign I have been pondering on who gives you the mandate to be a leader? Sometimes it feels that you stood still and everyone else took a step back, so you are therefore now the one in the front and you are almost the leader by default. Why did the others take a step back did they believe that they didn't have the time, skills, ability or inclination to take the lead; did you by pondering whether you could lead actually show that you might be capable and that's how you got the job? That can be quite a negative feeling and you are left with the thought "How did I get here? Am I worthy? Can I do it?" You feel a little more positive when there is a lot of group jostling and collectively the group push you to the front. You feel endorsed and that you have their collective approval to be leader. Although ultimately your actions and delivery will determine how long you have their support and some of those aforementioned questions can gradually sneak into your mind. Winston Churchill is reputed to have said " Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever- ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." It takes a great, resolute character to make these words their life mantra. So, there is a third kind of leader. This person has a conviction, an aspiration,and they will always believe in these aims and goals even if no-one else agrees. They have a bedrock of strength, they believe in their abilities and they walk their path in life because they want to make the journey and they want others to come along with them. They have given themselves a mandate to lead. In consequence others if they feel the leader is honest, authentic and real will trust them and ultimately their leadership and give them a mandate too.
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