How would you like to get Engaged?
Create a dream plan
Where will it take place?
Who will be there?
What will the ring look like?
How will he ask or she respond?
Is this Realistic??????????
What is the Purpose of the Engagement
Announce to friends and family
Evaluate your relationship
To Plan the Wedding
How long does this take??
What all is involved??
To Look for a place to live together
Near her work?
Near his work?
To discuss Family planning
When to have kids?
How many kids?
To discuss Finances and blend
To discuss Religious Beliefs and blend
Evaluate your Relationship
Do I like and respect myself? Do I have pride in my fiance?
Do I value my individuality? Can we allow our individual
personalities to grow and accept the ties of married life?
Can we recognize and understand each others needs and
emotions while still maintaining our own personalities?
Can we work through any negative feelings from childhood
and make our future life together a positive one?
Can we feel completely secure in the trust we have for each
other and use this trust as a foundation for our marriage?
Can we accept each others right to privacy, and yet
share moments of sorrow, joy, anger and
Am I able to communicate verbally and
Can I accept constructive criticism?
Will we be able to laugh with each other and not at
Am I able to communicate my expectations to my
Article on DIVORCE
Discuss spending habits before marriage.
Learn about your partners financial priorities.
List your financial priorities
Some careers are more demanding than others
Spouses must accept the demands and lend support
during times of stress
Will your career:
Require a college degree
Have an irregular schedule
Involve other people
Make me feel satisfied
Will you have a religious wedding ceremony? Or an
Do you share the same religion?
If you share different religions- who’s will you choose
Think of a family tradition or holiday custom.
Describe that day in detail.
Find a partner who chose the same holiday or a
Merge your traditions together making sure to please
both you and your partner and your families in the
new tradition or holiday plan.
Was this easy?
Would anyone object to the idea of change?
A couple and their in-laws often become good
Some couples are not so fortunate
Wedding planning may reveal that 2 families
Main concern is the wishes of the bride and groom
Keep a positive attitude towards in-laws
Think about life long commitment and tolerance
Consider feelings when children are involved
In-laws are interfering
Thoughtlessness, or lack of appreciation
Medical Counseling and Children
Doctor will determine each partners state of health
Review any hereditary conditions
Ask Q’s about contraception
Will you have kids?
If so, when will you start and how many will you
Read the worksheet in small groups and answer the
We will discuss as a class afterwards.
Your friends will become your spouse’s friends and
If the relationships are positive, they can add a great
variety to your life as well as support
Marriage will change your availability and
Discuss friendships that may cause arguments before
Basic interpersonal attitude, emotion or relationship towards
Types of Nonverbal
Indicates level of intimacy skin- 18”
Personal Zone 18-4”
Social Zone 2-12’
Public Zone 12’ +
Avoiding eye contact shows disinterest or insincerity.
Signals intimacy, emotional closeness, and sexual interest
Gestures- different for men and women
Smile more Disclose less personal
Claim less space information
Send clearer messages Discuss safer topics like
Are more sensitive sports or work
Are more responsive Use more profanity and
Set the emotional tone of
the family More dominating in
Levels of Communication
Being Completely Honest
Making Small Talk
Roadblocks to Communication
Blamers- acts superior
Computers- logical, ignores emotion
Distractors- changes the subject
Interrupting- breaks into the conversation
Endless Fighting- brings up the past
Character assassination- name calling, belittleing
Calling in reinforcements- involve outsiders
Withdrawl- leave, silent treatment
Need to be right- refusal to admit their part in the problem.
Allows for mutual understanding and helps discover who we are
Develops over time
Acknowledge the others feelings
“I feel ____ when _____ because ______”
Role play activity
Respond, clarify, ask questions, etc….
Active Listening Activity
Pick a partner
One person talks the other listens but does not
respond (1 minute)
Then the other person talks but the partner actively
listens this time (1 minute)
Which did you like better?
Engagement Warning Signs
A successful engagement is one that either
confirms the wish to marry or the fact that
marriage would be a mistake. While
breaking an engagement is not easy, it is
far better than entering a lifetime
commitment with serious doubts.
This marriage may be Hazardous
to your Happiness!
Too much Dependency on one person
Great Differences in Values, Goals, Expectations
Lack of Family Approval and Support
Excesses – Drug, Alcohol, etc.
Frequent Quarrels or Fights
Guilt or Pressure Motivations to Marry
Personal History of Frequent Changes (Jobs,
Plan a wedding
Compete to plan the best wedding for 30,000!
Movie Maker, Powerpoint, or Posters
4 groups per class…8 people per group
Must evaluate your peers daily
Work hard everyday and contribute
Be respectful when presenting