Cheese Cake Recipe

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					                                                   Presented by Daniel Toriola

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                                           The Official "Parenting" Cheesecake Recipe
                                                               By David Leonhardt

  The Official "Parenting" Cheesecake Recipe
 by: David Leonhardt

Whoever writes all those fancy cookbooks has never been a parent. To begin with, the pages are
never spill-proof, almost guaranteeing that somewhere in the middle of mixing ingredients, a spill will
cover the remaining two ingredients listed. This means that parents must learn to improvise.

Some would suggest that the very thrill of cooking is experimentation. So what’s the big difference
between oregano and cayenne pepper, anyway?

Then there are all those "quick" recipes to "serve your family" gracing the pages of women's
magazines. NO recipe is quick with Little Helper's assistance.

For the benefit of parents everywhere, I have taken my favorite cheesecake recipe and translated it
into parentease. The non-parent version is available in Cooking By The Book -- a free bonus I offer
with every purchase of The Get Happy Workbook at

Harvest Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake (Parent Version)

Mix one cup of ginger snap cookie crumbs and one tablespoon of olive oil. Add more cookie crumbs to
make up for the ones that disappeared about the same time your Little Helper walked into the kitchen.

Press the crumby oil mixture ... "Sorry, Little Helper distracted me." Press the oily crumb mixture into
the bottom of a 9-inch spring-form pan, and up around the edges about one inch. Put it in the
refrigerator to cool – best to slip it in safely behind the broccoli and that thing that's been turning blue
for three weeks in case Little Helper gets inspired

Soften three bricks of cream cheese, ideally in the microwave. If you can't separate the cheese from
Little Helper's hands, let her keep doing what she's doing until the cheese is good and soft. Cream the
cheese with one and a half cups of pureed pumpkin, three large eggs, two tablespoons of cream, and
one cup of brown sugar. Keep mixing until creamy.

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Add one teaspoon of vanilla extract. If you are fortunate enough to have help at this stage, you have
three options: Rename it " Harvest Pumpkin and Vanilla Cheesecake". Try scooping out the extra
cup of vanilla Little Helper poured in for you. Start over.

You will also need to add a tablespoon of cinnamon. If Little Helper is in a generous mood, don't
worry. You still have three options: Rename it " Harvest Pumpkin and Cinnamon Cheesecake". Try
scooping out the extra pile of cinnamon Little Helper poured in for you. Bang your head against the
counter and start over.

There is also a tablespoon of ground ginger to add. Sorry about that. Don't worry, you still have three
options...again: Rename it " Harvest Pumpkin and Ginger Cheesecake". Scoop out as best you can
the extra heap of ginger Little Helper added for you. Bang your head twice on the counter and start

I almost hate to mention this, but you'll need to add a teaspoon of ground nutmeg. And a half
teaspoon of salt. And a half teaspoon of allspice. Go ahead and bang your head some more if it
makes you feel better.

Fortunately, there is a parental failsafe. It is sort of like a "get out of jail free card". Look in the bowl.
Observe the quantity of creamy things. Observe the quantity of spicy things.

If the quantity of creamy things is even slightly greater than the quantity of spicy things, keep going and
pretend you didn't have any help. Maybe nobody will notice. If the quantity of spicy things is greater
than the quantity of creamy things, open another can of pureed pumpkin. Keep adding cans of pureed
pumpkin until creamy things are greater than spicy things -- or until your grocer runs out of cans.

Pour the filling into the crust. Note, if you had to add too many cans of pureed pumpkin, this could get
messy. I recommend hip-waders...especially for Little Helper.

Cook at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 50 minutes or until the top is slightly brown and almost as
cracked as your head and the counter. Do NOT let Little Helper eat the cake while it is still in the oven.

Let it air cool in a safe place -- like at a neighbor's house -- then refrigerate overnight

Just before serving, top with whipped cream and sprinkle with pecans. Oops. I just wrote that last line
in non-parentease. It should read: "Now that the whipped cream is polished off, shake the remaining
sprinkles on the cake. Unless Little Helper ate them, too.

Now you can sit down and enjoy your Harvest Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake (Parent Version). Oh yes,
don't forget to laminate this page to avoid more impromptu experimentation in the future.

The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at or read more columns at . Read about funny jelly beans at

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                                                Why I Love Cheesecake
                                                 By Stephen Whiteside

Why I Love Cheesecake by Stephen Whiteside

What can be more soothing to the soul, tummy-filling and sociable than having a piece of cheesecake?
These are just some of the reasons why I love cheesecake. Just thinking about cheesecake sets my
mouth to watering for a big piece of the light, airy confection made with a graham cracker crust and
smooth creamy vanilla filling, with a favorite topping of cherries or strawberries or blueberries or
streusel - - - or you can choose for yourself if you like. Then you will know why I love cheesecake.

The first documented cheesecake was at an Olympic game in the seventh century in Greece. It then
spread to other European countries and eventually made its way to North America when immigrants
crossed the ocean to seek their fame and fortune. Little did they know that the recipe they brought with
them would eventually launch a huge following of people who love cheesecake and would balloon into
a multimillion-dollar industry across the world.

The decadent taste and texture of cheesecake belies the fact that it is fairly simple to make.
Cheesecake lovers know that they can have this delightful delicacy anytime they want by stirring up a
few basic ingredients including cream cheese, sugar and eggs, and then pouring it into a pie shell
which can be made of graham cracker crumbs or other conventional pie crusts and baked.

So what's not to love about cheesecake? It can be eaten anytime of the day or night, it's easy to make
and even easier to buy, it tastes divine, and on top of all this, it creates a feeling of well being that only
comes from being good to yourself. So go ahead, eat and be jolly! Then you'll know why I love

 Stephen Whiteside is the head cheesecake tester at

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