Healthy Ways of Dealing With Difficult Relationships &

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					Healthy Ways of Dealing With Difficult
Learning Objectives
   Assess the impact of difficult people on your life.
   Understanding the unhealthy cycles that are very easily
    established in relationships with difficult people.
   Understand why difficult people behave the way they do.
   Learn four basic approaches for dealing with difficult people.
   Ten rules for effective communication.
   The characteristics of some difficult personality types.
   Coping strategies for dealing with difficult people.
   Learn how to become a catalyst for change.
The Bully
                 Pushy
                 Demanding
                 Threatening
                 Abrasive
                 Controlling
                 Loud
                 Rude
                 Sarcastic
The Time Bomb
           Emotionally out of control

           Gains power through

            emotional displays
           Stores up negative energy

           Unpredictable

           Explosive
The Con Artist
                    Characteristics:
                        Manipulative
                        Conniving
                        Seem “too good” to
                         be true
                        Attractive
                        Charming
                        Tell you what you
                         want to hear
The Button Pusher
                 Characteristics:
                     Manipulative
                     Knows your “soft
                     You feel used
                     Exploits your
                      weaknesses and
                     Avoids work and
The Put-down Artist
              Characteristics:
                  Negative
                  Pessimistic
                  Nothing is ever right
                  Put others down to
                   boost themselves
                  Sarcastic
The Crybaby
                 Characteristics:
                     Chronic complainer
                     Never satisfied
                     Never happy
                     Always want you to
                      fix what is wrong
The Silent Sam
                    Characteristics:
                        Extremely quiet
                        Use silence as a
                        You never seem to
                         know what they are
                        You feel
                         uncomfortable in
                         their silence
The Know It All
                     Characteristics:
                         Super intelligent
                         They use their
                          knowledge to belittle
                          and intimidate others
                         Low tolerance for
                          being corrected or
                         Not comfortable in
                          social conversations
The Perfectionist
                   Characteristics:
                       Insecure
                       Makes an excessive
                        number of commitments
                       Pre-occupied in doing
                        everything right
                       Pre-occupied with details
                       Fearful of making a
                        wrong decision
                       Problems prioritizing,
                        setting goals
Four Approaches to
Dealing With Difficult People

    Stay and do nothing
    Walk away
    Change your attitude
    Change your behavior
Taking Responsibility for Your
Attitudes and Behavior
   Focus on what you Can Control
   Recognize and Appreciate Individual
   Don’t Commit “Assumicide”
   Become Self-Observing
   Conduct yourself according to the
    “Golden Rule”
Handling Conflicts With
Difficult People
   Separate Feelings from Value Judgments
   Focus on the Similarities, Not Differences
   Tolerate Discomfort - Don’t Evade,
    Disconnect or Act Out
   Balance Interests - Self and Other
   Tune into the Feelings Behind the Mask
   Be Mindful of your Reaction Patterns
Ten Rules for Effective
   Put your needs and emotions aside initially
   Monitor the tone of your voice and your body language
   Actively listen
   Blend
   Practice reflective listening
   Identify positive intent
   Ask clarifying questions
   Redirect
   Tactfully interrupt
   Summarize and confirm
Be a Catalyst for Change
   Compare your difficult people problems
    to other situations
   Recall your most recent unpleasant
    encounter and view it again
   Reframe the problem
   Remember that outside help is available

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