Tavros Plays Minecraft

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 Rating:             Teen And Up Audiences
 Archive Warning:    Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
 Category:           Gen
 Fandom:             Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
 Character:          Tavros Nitram, Kanaya Maryam, Vriska Serket
 Additional Tags:    Minecraft
 Stats:              Published: 2010-08-30 Completed: 2010-09-02 Chapters: 2/2
                     Words: 1910

                      Tavros Plays Minecraft
                                  by JudgeDeadd


      Some trolls play the online construction game Minecraft.
      A lot of chatting.
                               Chapter 1

Sollux transcended the limits of time, space and dimension. Once he set
up the appropriate connections and put the snarls of wire under a
modicum of control, the trolls, in addition to pestering the four human
kids, could access the human World Wide Web, reaching out from the
timelessness of the Incipisphere to any point on the timeline around that
fateful day. Interest was low though. Terezi seeked out embarrassing
pictures to taunt Dave with, and Kanaya finally examined the tantalizing
image links from the FAQ, but the majority of the extraterrestrial crew
was disinterested in these archives of knowledge. What could a
civilization so underdeveloped, which barely could lift itself off its own
planet and under normal circumstances would be nothing more than
another world ready for imperial conquest, possibly enthrall them with?
What was the point of exploring their unimaginatively short-titled films,
why care about their daily worries, especially if their species was
doomed to be wiped out by juggernaut meteors?

But Tavros Nitram, always full of inquisitiveness, was more than eager to
investigate the exploits of this another species. He first pored over their
abundant amateur-produced art, depicting fairies, flight, their
equivalents of Pupa Pan, and other fuel for the daydreams; then he
joined a number of discussion forums and there tried, coyly, to blend in
with their crowd; finally he came upon an online game, bearing the name

Minecraft! A concept arresting in its simplicity. An expansive, virtual
clearing is provided, upon which several player, armed with unlimited
amounts of blocks of various materials, erect any structures they wish.
Castles, fortresses, houses, towers, dungeons deep underground or
laboratories hidden in the sea, ships, walkways of glass high up in the
air. Stairs, fireplaces, windows within. All of these built of nothing but
cubes, yet still imposing. Hours spent on every project.

Tavros joined in, sheepishly at first. He chatted with the other players
little, issuing a couple of shy welcomes upon arrival, and then beginning
to build silently in some distant corner.

    hiro72: huh
    hiro72: adios what u building?
    adiosToreador: uH,
    adiosToreador: iT'S A HIVE,
    adiosToreador: lIKE, A HOUSE, i GUESS,
    Condemned: eh, I think its weird
    hiro72: nah it looks cool
    Osiris_slave: Yeah freaky but cool I guess.
    hiro72: can i enter
    adiosToreador: uM, SURE, FEEL FREE TO LOOK AROUND,
    hiro72: whats this a swimin pool?
    adiosToreador: nOT REALLY, iT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A
    adiosToreador: uH, i THINK HUMANS WOULD HAVE A BED IN
    hiro72: oh i get it
    hiro72: like scifi themed
    Osiris_slave: Yeah man like aliens and stuff.
    Osiris_slave: Haha cool
    Condemned: oh cool lame rp-ing, just what I wanted ;/

The human players were surprised, but oddly mesmerized by the oblong
structure. As the virtual world of Minecraft was made up of almost
nothing but cubes, it resembled a ziggurat more than the desired
organic shapes, but the onlookers filled in the missing curves with their
imagination. The new player, apart from raising this alien edifice, also
was ready to admire the other player's handiwork and comment on how
much they fascinated him. Initially Tavros' new activity went unnoticed
among the other trolls; but soon one of his companions caught on; and
the game's overall concept was what drew her in.

    grimAuxiliatrix: Tavros I Believe That You Should Lengthen
    This Particular Tower A Little
    grimAuxiliatrix: It Will Provide Some Visual Balance Through
    Its Asymmetry
    adiosToreador: hEY, THANKS gA,
    hiro72: haha it looks prety cool
    hiro72: really kinda like some ufo house
    adiosToreador: uM, THANKS, i GUESS,
    grimAuxiliatrix: I Must Say That Some Of Your Human Designs
    Are Also Quite Pleasing To The Eye
    grimAuxiliatrix: I Am Mainly Referring To These Masterful
    Osiris_slave: You mean like mario n kirby over there ?
    Osiris_slave: I just copied them from a sprite, not much to
    write home aboiut
    Osiris_slave: But thx anyway.
    Condemned: lame
    Condemned: stop this and build for real, losers ;/

Kanaya and Tavros formed a perfect tandem. Tavros painstakingly
layered cube upon cube, floor upon floor; Kanaya was occasionally
making minor embellishments within and outside the building, but
mostly she worked on the garden. Finally her landscaping skills saw
their use again! The grassy surface she studded with what little virtual
flora Minecraft offered; she also carved imposing trees and hedges, and
diverted rivers to flow meanderingly among them.

With two parts of the auspisticism triad in the game, it took little time for
a third participant to hop in. But this one seemed disinterested in
meaningful contribution.
                              Chapter 2

    hiro72: uh
    hiro72: what u doin
    hiro72: stop that
    arachnidsGrip: I'm improving the look of this dump!
    arachnidsGrip: Look, just truuuuuuuust me.
    arachnidsGrip: It's going to look SO much 8etter when I'm
    done! ::::D
    hiro72: hey osiris
    hiro72: ban this guy or what
    hiro72: hes griefing
    hiro72: look he made a hole in adios' house and is mesing up
    arachnidsGrip: I'm a girl, dum8ass.
    adiosToreador: uM, i KIND OF WORKED PRETTY HARD ON
    THAT, aG,
    adiosToreador: i THOUGHT IT, UM, LOOKED BETTER
    arachnidsGrip: Oh come on tavros!!!!!!!!
    arachnidsGrip: You guys are 8oth 8ehaving so path8ic!
    arachnidsGrip: Lounging around on stupid human time-
    arachnidsGrip: You have a whole 8unch of 8etter things to do.
    Like, oh I don't know, getting 8ack to trolling them????????
    arachnidsGrip: Instead of getting all chummy-chummy with
    Player 'arachnidsGrip' left the game. (Kicked)
    Osiris_slave: You know each other irl?
    adiosToreador: wELL, YEAH, SORT OF,
    grimAuxiliatrix: I Must Apologize For Her Behavior
    grimAuxiliatrix: She Is My
    grimAuxiliatrix: Hmm
    grimAuxiliatrix: 'Charge' Would Be The Closest Word In The
    Human Vocabulary
    Condemned: awesoem
    Condemned: it's like, broken keyboard otherkin drama club.
    Condemned: just what this server needed.
    Condemned: also wtf trolling?

But the next day the human players saw Vriska returning, this time
without an intention to destroy; she immediately pounced upon a large,
unclaimed section of land and proceeded to craft some huge structure,
yesterday's disruptor turned today's contributor. Her sole chat
messages were mostly requests to not disturb her at all.

First she dug. She excavated a gargantuan pit, as deep as the limits of
the map allowed and as wide as she could without intruding upon other
players' space. Inside, a mountain took root, with its jagged rock strata
stretching from the abyssal depths to its almost cloud-scraping summit.

And atop stood a tower, built similarly to Tavros' hive, but more
expansive, and literally poking the pixelated sky with its spire. The
mountain was hollow; the tall cavern contained a spiral staircase, from
the basements of the tower down to an expansive grotto in the lowliest
reaches, one filled with gold and silver cubes and a sprinkling of
rainbow-colored blocks. All this assiduous work took about 12 hours.

    arachnidsGrip: Taaaaaaaavros!
    arachnidsGrip: Fussyfangs!
    arachnidsGrip: Why don't you two go look at how much 8etter
    than yours my cre8ion is.
    arachnidsGrip: Is it not the 8est? The finest and most
    impressive? ADMIT IT! ::::D
    Osiris_slave: Uh who you talking to?
    Osiris_slave: You mean adios and grim?
    hiro72: theyre gone
    arachnidsGrip: WHAT do you mean, gone?!?!?!?!
    hiro72: they left a cuple days ago
    hiro72: said goodbye and havent shown up since
    hiro72: first adios then grim i think
    Condemned: you know, you could know that if you bothered to
    check the player list...
    Condemned: or should I say "8othered"? XD
    arachnidsGrip: Uuuuuuuurgh!!!!!!!!
    arachnidsGrip: I can't 8ELIEVE they just walked out on
    arachnidsGrip: Man, talk a8out sore losers!
    arachnidsGrip: Always r8dy to waste time and show off to
    some podunk civiliz8ion, but when someone 8etter comes
    around they a8scond!
    Condemned: goddammit, stop that.
    Condemned: not this stupid irl/scifi roleplay drama again.
    arachnidsGrip: Oh sure, every8ody gang up on me!
    arachnidsGrip: XXXXO
    arachnidsGrip: Well I hope you have fun when the m8eors
    come for you!!!!!!!!
    arachnidsGrip: Good8ye, Minedaft!!!!!!!!
    Player 'arachnidsGrip' left the game. (Disconnect)
    Condemned: what was that with "meteors"?
    Condemned: Or "meighteors", lol
    hiro72: lol @ that lame insult :D
    hiro72: posting this to


A pair of disappointed, overworked hands rains upon the keyboard like
an enraged cloudburst. On the other side of the network connection,
hands more graceful indulge the former's fury.

    AG: What the hell!
    AG: You two just went and rage-quit!
AG: Just to give these idiots a chance to h8 on me!
GA: Strange That You Are So Upset Over Us Taking Our
GA: After All It Was You Who Originally Asked Us To
Cease Playing
GA: Thus We Have Humored You
AG: Ugh!!!!!!!! Don't try to twist my words!
AG: Look, it was me who humored you! I played this stupid
game just 8ecause I wanted you two to admit that you're not
the 8est and un8eatable!
AG: Everyone was talking a8out you like some sort of ungodly
champions. I wanted to do you a favor! Keep all this adoration
from going to your heads!
AG: But apparently you're so scared of humili8ion that you
chickened out as soon as you saw me coming!
GA: I Am Afraid You Are Overstating Their Enthusiasm
GA: We Were Simply Treated As Any Well Liked Member
Of The Community
GA: I Assure You There Was No Fanatical Praise To Speak
GA: I Also See The Need To Correct You With Regards To
The Reason Of Our Departure
GA: Tavros Felt That His Further Presence Will Provoke
You To Engage In Misconduct Which Would Ruin The
Enjoyment For Him And Everybody Else
GA: And I Left Not Long After Him Since His Virtual Hive
Was Pretty Much Finished
GA: And There Was Little Reason To Continue Developing
What Was Essentially A Fun Relaxing Diversion
GA: For Us Both Admittedly
AG: Yeah right!!!!!!!! You make it look like I'm the 8ig 8ad guy.
AG: Everyone else are soooooooo spotless HMMMMMMMM
GA: If It Calms You Down I Believe Your Tower Is Quite A
Splendid Piece Of Work As Far As I Can Tell
AG: Wow, so you finally decide to give me some praise! 8ut not
in pu8lic!
AG: 8ecause Gog for8id any8ody actually SEE you saying
anything good a8out Vriska Serket!
AG: Think a little, girl! What's the point of telling this to ME?
AG: I already know I'm awesome! I just want others to stop
8eing in denial about it!
AG: Saaaaaaaay, w8 a sec. Just how did you see my tower
AG: I 8uilt it long after you chickened out of the game forever!
GA: I Had The Opportunity To Behold It On A Screenshot
Posted Onto A Human Website
AG: Ooh, so these losers have a whole we8site dedic8ed to a
lame game!
GA: Well Technically
GA: Yes There Is Indeed Such A Website
      GA: And Someone Has Seen Fit To Publish There The
      Images Of Tavros' Construction
      AG: And of course my tower is in there too and has a million
      more views and r8ings than your shanty? ::::D
      GA: Actually Your Edifice Has Not Been Submitted There
      GA: Its Depiction Along With A Selection Of Your
      Comments Is Featured On Another Human Website
      GA: One Dedicated To Collecting
      GA: Hm
      GA: Curiosities
      AG: Yep, that would 8e me!
      AG: Every8ody are curious about Vriska. EVERY8ODY!
      AG: ...Well of course they're gonna get all killed by meteors in
      a few months or so.
      AG: Or they were gonna? Or will be gonna? Whatever.
      AG: Serves them right for being h8ers anyway. ::::]

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