Love At First Friendship (3)

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					Love At First Friendship
"What is the best thing I can do to make my relationship even stronger?"
This is the most frequently asked question I get after guiding couples through
a crisis... And so it's a good one to explore here with you.
One of the things that is really important is learning how to strengthen your relationship from a
friendship point of view. If you use the analogy of building a house, then you know that the first thing
you have to do is build a strong foundation in order for your home to rest on solid ground. In other
words, you have to start from the ground up.
A relationship is no different. First you must build a good foundation upon which to base your love.
And the best foundation is a very strong friendship as well as an understanding of how to keep
strengthening that friendship. I use several tools to achieve this which we can get into in subsequent
The other important key in fostering a strong friendship is learning how to deal with conflict. Because
inevitably conflict is going to be part of every relationship. And I really want to stress this as
sometimes people think that a relationship should always be rosy, and that's just not how life is. Life
has it ups and downs, as we all know, and when we make a commitment to a relationship we must
understand and accept that there's going to be challenges within life's normal ups and downs.
Therefore, we need to properly prepare ourselves to handle conflict when it does arise so we do not
erode the very foundation upon which our love is based. And it is important to learn how to
communicate when faced with conflict in a way that does not attack your partner, but rather deals
directly with the situation or issue at hand.
Are you beginning to see why strengthening the friendship within your relationship is so important,
given the normal ebb and flow of life? Because if you have a strong friendship then you have solid
and common ground upon which to grow other aspects of your relationship. More importantly, a
strong friendship breeds a strong bond of closeness. And if you feel close to one another, then you
can establish greater intimacy.
On the other hand, if you don't feel close to your partner then you won't feel connected. And when
you don't feel connected, you will not continue to have a desire to be with that person. In fact, you
may grow so apart that you no longer want to be touched or held by them. After all, if you don't share
your innermost feelings with each other, then you are no longer emotionally intimate. If you are no
longer emotionally intimate (especially for women), then a disconnect occurs when trying to initiate
physical intimacy.
Bottom Line: If you do not feel close and you do not feel heard, then your relationship will crumple...
Sooner or later.

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Description: understand and accept that there's going to be challenges within life's normal ups and downs.