Peter Seemann, PhD.
Žilina University, Slovakia
2010
Introduction
Mgr. Peter Seemann, PhD.
Systemic
Coaching
Psychotherapy
Education
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content
1. Why the first impression? Brains
1. Property, hierarchy
2. Addressing people
3. Friendship, love on the job ?
4. Constructive feedback, critisism
5. Presentations, lectures
6. Going international
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The Big Five Model
traits (features) to observe
1. Extroversion
2. Agreeableness / good natured, cooperative, warm, trusting
3. Conscientiouness -/responsible, dependable, persistent,
organized/
4. Emotional stability:/ calm, self-confident, secure, positive
5. Openness to experience / imagination, sensitivity, curiosity
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Brain mind
Brain stem
Emotional brain
Grey material - neocortex
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Brain stem- reptile brain.
100 Million years old
Programmed to survive
Fight or flight
Reaction immediate, and automatic
External stimulus, threads– takes control
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Emotional brain, brain of the mammals
50 Million years old
Produces emotions
Love, bringing up young ones
Emotional action: protect, teach, command
Tonal, audio- oriented
Team oriented–group organization
Hierarchy –in the group
uniformity
Avoids changes
Either / or decisions
Needs security
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Grey brain bark
1.5-2 Million years old
1000x more flexible than emotional brain
Creates visual constructs, images movies
slower
Processes only positives
Must create an image (picture)
We see only what there is, not what there isn’t
Worse connections to body and other brains- reason
why they win
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Emotional intelligence
Recognize own emotions
Deal with them adequate and effective
Self motivate
empathize with others, understand their emotional
state
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Q1: yes/ no?
The best way to establish a rapport is to do it with
professional distance.
During first contact, the cloths play an unimportant
role, the conversation is the most important
Territory means not only “my space”, but also my
competiencies, responsibilities
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Communication distance
Private zone hierarchy position
b) Private> gender, age
2. Event (what game is this?)
a) Official (business lunch, reception)
b) Unofficial (fest, after work pub)
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4 piers of correct behavior
3. People (Who do I play with?)
a) Co worker / supevisor/ subordinate
b) Customers
c) Much younger / older/ same age
d) Strangers/ friends / family
4. Environmet (What social role I play now)
Woman (boss, host, guest, wife, sister, girlfriend)
Man (boss, host, guest, husband, brother, partner)
Community member (team member, football player)
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Behavior control
What I have to do
What I must not do
What I may do
Point of view of other 1st.
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Two territories work / private
work:
Hierarchy
Gender
Age
Private:
Gender
Age
Job hierarchy
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V.I.P. persons, Top-Dogs
GREETING> Greet them First
Professional life
Customers, supervisors
Private life
Older people, women
Both pro/ private
Group you are approaching
People already in room we are entering
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V.I.P. persons, Top-Dogs
Introduction >THEY OFFER HAND
We welcome them
professional
Supervisors, customers
Private
Greet them
Both pro/ private
Host (we acknowledge them)
3rd person introduction
They get to know (the name of) the strangers
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New contacts
Handoffer (not handshake, no shaking anymore)
Stand up, women too
Short 3s., firm (not crushing, nor dead fish)
Eye contact
Button up jacket
I am Peter Seemann (not Doctor P.S.)
Depatment of Ecomomics, Peter Seemann
On the phone
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Top dogs change around
Misses Smith (56) wants to introduce:
her boss Mr. Big (32) and her friend Miss Free (53) at a
private evening party.
Him to her (informal=gender, age)
Her new coworker Misses Hardwork (50) and her boss
Mr. Big (32)
Her to him (formal- hierarchy, gender)
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Friends on the job?
Gentleman or harraser?
Help woman to the coat
Hold the door for her
Men: be gentle and nice
Women: either accept or refuse,
but be nice
Further topic: sexual harrasment, mobbing
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Friendship / relationship on the job
Yes? / No? / Maybe?
Job as good match maker?
Teamwork
Friendship
Romance
Not in front of customers, collegues
Not talking just with partner
No romantic show off
Either say to all (what if it breaks up?)
Keep it low- temporarily
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New on the job?
Ask, ask, ask!
Get a guide, but don’t bother him
New ideas, wait a few months…
Newcomer party: after trial period
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Constructive feedback, critisism
Formulations evoking selfcriticism are perceived as
hostile?
Command style may cause self-defence reaction?
Yes?, really? Hmm, summarization, show our
thorough active listening?
Talk is more expressive than body language?
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Criticism “you sentences”
That’s a wrong opinion!
This is a total nonsense!
Do you have an idea what this is abou?
You can’t be serous!
Results>
Returned attack, self defense, isolation
Point s(!) of view
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Rules of constructive feedback
In between 4 eyes
Soon as possible
Down to earth, not offending
Detailed, not generalizing
Avoid ironic and sarcastic expressions
Talk about real behavior
“your late arrivals make me think…”
Personal ”missions“
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constructive criticism= “I sentences”
Interesting, but I cannot join you in this opinion
I understand your point of view, may I show mine?
I’m a little astonished with your sentence, maybe I lack
information to see it this way
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Public presentations
Beginning
Introduction
Ice breaking
Tune in, and tune on
Middle part
Keep people awake
Modify activities
Ending
Sum up
Discuss
Leave contact
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Going international
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Germany
France
Italy
Great Britain
Spain
Sweden
Finland
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Germany
Reserved, professional
Set business meeting dates early and verify them
Perfect preparation for meeting
Time keeping= high priority
Greetings, firm hand shaking
Greater personal distance
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France
Verify dates that were set
Recalling, reassuring
French language
Verify meeting
Meeting in French partner work time
Beware of body language
Prefer to negotiate by lunch, wine
No smoking while eating
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Italy
Forget early mornings, siesta time
No hurry by lunch, dinner
Expressive, interesting beginning
Don’t let get disturbed from topic
Let their emotions flow, don’t take them personally
Perfect speech preparation
Beware of clothing norms / etiquette
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Great Britain
Formal addressing, titles…
Respect British traditions
Speak slowly, seriously
kindness (please, thank you)
Not too personally, spontain
Official titles
Spell your name properly
Forbidden conversations (religion, kingdom, Northern
Irland…)
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Spain
Less structured (or none)
Improvisators
Always there is time to work, not enough time for fun
Re call, update always
Not tomorrow, today
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Sweden
Play by the rules
Speak less, but more seriously
They are tactful, but create their own opinion
Are serious and that’s what they expect
Gotta keep the contracts
Lot of endless meetings
All levels are involved
Effective processing
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Finland
modest and downplay their own accomplishments
expect courteous behaviour
Interrupting conversation is rude.
punctual in both business and social situations
focus purely on business
are excellent time managers, slightly early on meetings
a man's word is his bond“
direct communicators= they say what they think
Sauna ”meetings”
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Slovakia
direct, yet diplomatic, approach
Somewhat formal
Need warming up
Head of meeting (senior representative) decides
Hard working
Dress makes the master
Don’t start right on time
We bring presents
Social connections
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Summary
Be aware, that everybody is a individual personality
(Who Am I?)
Underline getting to know their personality (who is
he/ she?)
Make a serious professional impression
Negotiate with goal awareness, but politeness, and
compromise
Focuse on keeping the promisses, agreed principles
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Americans are very informal
and they are quick to call
people by their first name
Imagine you have arranged a meeting at
four o’clock. What time should you
expect you foreign business collegues to
arrive?
Italians
British
Americans
Germans
Finns
Slovaks
Asian countries
Japanese
The bow symbolizes respect and humility.
The “ok” sign is a symbol for money.
The business card – treat it with respect.
Very punctual. It is rude to be late to a
business meeting.
Chinese
Opening a gift in front of the giver signifies
the gift is more important than the giver.
The triangle is considered a negative shape.
European and African
cultures
In France, the “ok” sign means zero.
In Germany, first names are seldom used when doing
business.
In Germany, gifts are rarely exchanged and are
usually not appropriate.
The number 7 is considered bad luck in Kenya and
good luck in Czech Republic.
In Bulgaria, a nod means “no” and shaking you head
means “yes”.
In some African countries, the color red represents
death.
Middle Eastern
cultures
Never, never eat with your left hand.
Never sit in a position that displays
the sole of your foot to an Arab,
especially women.
Never ask a businessman about his
wife or other female members of his
family.
Summary
Perceive people positive
Treat people with dignity, show you honor them
Act carefully
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Questions, comments??
Thank you
Peter.Seemann@fpedas.uniza.sk
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