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					Poem book 1
poem book one
by: douglas gray




       1
       Table of poems


 1.Together As a Family
 2.A Day In The Snow
 3.I’m the Invisible Man
 4.Tattered Roses
 5.Locked Away
 6.Glass Heart
 7.Ruby Red Lips
 8.Fading Farther Away
 9.Beating Softly from Within
10.Many Days
11.The Ugly House Without a Family
12.A Heart-Beat Away from Death
13.Slipping Away
14.T’was But A Dream
15.Wondering
16.This Lonely Feeling
17.Mistakes
18.Loneliness
                      2
     Table of poems

19.What’s Wrong With the World?
20.Break the Silence




                3
                   Together As a Family
                   We gather together here on this night.
        Gathered, as a family on this wonderful night of Christmas
               to share and give presents to our loved ones.
         Gathered together we bless this wonderful dinner with its
        delicious plates of creativity made by each family member.
            Sharing each others stories of happiness or sorrow,
    and remembering those we have lost and gained through the years.
Smiling and laughing we all open presents and enjoy each others company.
       Singing Christmas Carols just like we did back in the day, or
   remembering the times we took pictures together, how Grandma Abel
     would take pictures for every happy moment together as a family
and how we celebrated Grandpa Abel’s birthday on the same wonderful day.
          Embraced by happiness and the good grace of the Lord
                  we are blessed by the love of our family.
      Even if some family members that aren’t with us at that moment
                     we all feel like we are all together.




                                1
     A Day In The Snow
          A day in the snow
          with my best bud.
          What will we do?
    Should we play in the snow,
            go ice skating,
         or have an ice war?
There is just so much we could do,
 if I could have a day in the snow
       with a very good friend.
    We could make snow angels
   or maybe just get our tongues
           stuck to a pole.
There is just so much you could do
       with a day in the snow



             2
    I’m the invisible man..
               See within my soul,
    within the heart of a man without love,
             love of human contact.
    I’m standing right in front of your eyes,
waiting, wanting to show you how much I care.
        But how and when will you see?
           I look in to your sad eyes.
 You’re blind from all you don't want to see.
        Standing, standing beside you,
      wishing, hoping you will finally see,
           see me the invisible man.
    I’m standing right in front of your eyes,
waiting, wanting to show you how much I care.
        But how and when will you see?
         Nights I hold you in my mind,
          my hands are stretched out,
but you can't see what you don't want to see.
              I’m the invisible man.




                  3
                        Tattered Roses
              Enchanting voices speak together within my head
speaking evil vows like thorns ripping away at this scared heart of mine.
              Bleeding deep gashes flow red rivers of love lost.
                                     Chorus
               Evil thoughts play like a movie through my head
                  making this scared heart bleed once more.
          How many thorns must it take to forget these memories?
            Does it take my life to forget your face and our love?
     I run within my mind trying to hide from these enchanted voices.
            No matter where I run they follow me within my mind.
               Following this torn and tattered road to freedom
They speak so many terrors and evil acts that are neither true or correct.
                                     Chorus
               Evil thoughts play like a movie through my head
                  making this scared heart bleed once more.
          How many thorns must it take to forget these memories?
            Does it take my life to forget your face and our love?
    Memories, never lost, may return to forever lurk within your mind,
like ghosts haunting from beyond the grave, like a cold chill of love lost,
         like the dried petals of a rose sent flying by the cold wind.
                                     Chorus
               Evil thoughts play like a movie through my head
                  making this scared heart bleed once more.
          How many thorns must it take to forget these memories?
            Does it take my life to forget your face and our love?
                           My heart breaks a tiny bit
                 but I pass without a thought within my mind.
                         Yes, I'm cold as winter’s day.
                        Why don't you come and play?




                                4
                              Locked Away

            I’m saving these moments of happiness locked away for you.
                         Whoever you are, your face is blurry to me.
                  I will wait and save the last sliver of my heart for you!
It’s hidden in a box so no one can take the light that’s left away from my unknown
                                              love.
       These chains are rusted over and this heart of mine has lost its shine.
               In dreams I feel they’re almost ready to crack and break.
         So I sleep until I can see your face in my dreams without the blur.
            So I can bask in your beauty and restore my heart full again.
               In sleep I feel my heart beat fast, uncontrollable laughter
           sends me speechless with joy. You are my Hope and salvation.
   I guard this piece of my heart and I try to protect you from the things or people
                            that might harm you and thus harm me.
           Hearts of gold and silver always seem to be the ones breaking
       While those with black and evil hearts always seem to get their desire.
My heart which had been great and hopeful fell and hit the ground hard. It was left
                              broken and bleeding as a fallen bird.
 I’m forced now to glue the pieces of my heart together again like a broken wing.
 For now tears flow like rivers and my once hopeful heart feels like a like a death
                             march of knifes leaving me wounded.
       Where is my angel that will wipe away my tears and heal my wounds?
            Still I will keep the sliver of my heart hidden away for you until
                        I find you in the darkness to restore the light.




                                  5
          Glass Heart
            She’s nothing at all,
           just alone and broken
             where you left her.
            Tears on her pillow,
   this is what your love has left her.
A broken heart, shards scatter the floor.
                   Chorus
      So many tears shed for him.
     Fragile love brought to an end.
     Hearts break as easy as glass,
hers broken, as shards scatter the floor.
         “I should have known it,
 known it from the first time he hit me,
     but, I thought he was the one.”
  Love comes with fine print it seems.
   A contract signed, the price paid.
She’s dead in your mind, nothing at all.
      Moving on won't be too hard,
        just pick your new victim!
                   Chorus
      So many tears shed for him.
     Fragile love brought to an end.
     Hearts break as easy as glass,
hers broken, as shards scatter the floor.




         6
                        Ruby Red Lips
                       Ruby red lips calling for my attraction.
                     Ignoring the need for love at this moment.
      Sitting alone at nights hoping for the embrace from that person,
         knowing that their kiss can solve most of your problems by
         healing the scars caused from passed lovers that trampled
                                   My golden heart.
                            Hiding this pain deep within,
             walking days on days with this wounded soul of mine,
         but the thought of a smile upon your face is all that I need.\
                      to hold on until the end of these horrors.
                             I wait, wanting, but knowing
             if I take that step forward my heart might break again.
                      Feeling hopeless and kind of unwanted,
    but her embrace is the warmth that I need to keep this hope alive.
       This cold world is full of heartless people that never fall in love,
but those ruby red lips keep me waiting until I may see who you might be.
      I sit here waiting and wondering if you’re even here close to me
    thinking the same things or even thinking of what’s to come in life,
                               as I lay here wondering.




                             7
Fading Farther Away
    You have done so much for me
  and all I can do is watch you die.
             Feeling helpless
not knowing what is wrong with you.
You're fading farther away from me
        and all I can do is watch.
     No words can bring you back.
        No one can replace you
  and no one can make me happier.
You're fading farther away from me.
 I was told you're still here with me,
        that you're always here.
     You are a memory in my mind
    that seems to fade slowly away
   but somehow I know you're gone
     so I take a few days to mourn.
You're fading farther away from me
        and all I can do is watch.
      Death may take you from me
     No words can bring you back.
        No one can replace you
  and no one can make me happier
           until the time comes
      that I should see you again.




                 8
       Beating Softly from Within
                       [A tribute to the Beatles]
       I’m sitting here thinking of how much I love you.
            My heart beats to the song that you play.
                Honey I’m forever in your embrace.
                  All my loving I will send to you.
                         Darling I will be true.
          I want the whole world to know that we met,
             yes I have fallen and I’ve fallen for you.
    If I fell in love with you would you promise to be true
                              and help me?
  If I give my heart to you, I must sure from the very start
                that you will love me more than her.
                Picture us together in a boat for two
           heading down the river in strawberry fields.
                   Living is easy with eyes closed
and a heart full of love is all we need to keep us from falling
                       short of the goals of life.
Something in the way she moves attracts me more than any
                                  lover.
   We grow more and more together everyday as we walk
                             hand and hand
through the troubles of the world and sit and watch the sun -
                                   set.
What careless existence, like we are the only two people on
                               the planet.2




                          9
                   Many Days
       Many days I have stayed here and wondered
                         if I still love you.
               But I just don't know any more…
        Many days we spend together just feel like
we are trying to save something that just can't be saved.
                 I just don't want to loose you.
Many days you knew I was waiting for you to come home.
   I think if I loved you, we’d hold the family together.
Many days we talk on the phone and you feel so far away.
                      I just can't touch you.
                  Many days I think of our life
           and the many things we meant to say
                           but never did.




                       10
          The Ugly House Without a Family
  Sad voices echo thought that empty house, lost memories never regained.
          Feathers float in the dry air of the abandoned ashen house
             waiting for the bright sun to shine into the windows.
                  Things left behind never to be used again.
                      Food left to dust away by the hour.
         Plants growing in thought the holes made by a small animal.
     An uneasy feeling comes over the visitors to this ugly sight of death.
 But birds used to sing and their songs could be heard all through the house.
Leaves used to be littered all around the house as if they were a regal carpet.
                 The windows are now gone, long ago broken.
   Echos of past screams frozen in time are heard in this shell of a house.
           The birds no longer sing nor are there any leaves of gold.
  Only blacken marks are left of this ugly house that never did have a family




                                11
A Heart-Beat Away
                              I see the light,
                              I see the light.
As I lay here in this bed
                              A beat away from death,
feeling weak and lonely,
                              family members’ faces I can't
a heart-beat is all I hear.
                              really see.
It echoes from within me
                              Memories spin around my
it slowly begins to slow.
                              head,
A beat away from death,
                              hearing just their heart-beats
I see the light,
                              Beating faster than mine,
I see the light.
                              I see the light,
It shines over me inviting
                              I see the light.
me in,
                              A warm embrace from your
feeling heavy pushes on
                              lovers’ lips,
my chest
                              bring you to life once more.
the light seems to fade
                              A beat away from death,
slowly away.
                              I see the light,
My heart-beat is all I
                              I see your light.
hear.
                              But your sight fades in and out
Voices echo around my
                              and
bed,
                              blurred figures surround your
                              bed
                              a beat away from death




                       12
                        Slipping Away
                     Downward slope, frictionless surface.
                      Trying to grip on to the nothingness.
                      No support from anything in my life,
                just free-falling straight down to the bottom.
                                   Slipping away.
                   I’m sliding away, farther away from you,
                      and away from what life I have left.
    So little strength to hold onto. The hands trying to hold me up,
               dead weight pulling everyone down with me.
                                     Let me go
                                     Let me go
                                   Save yourself
                     Searching night and day for the hope.
                    Hope from within my heart to continue,
               for the embrace to keep me from the bottom.
                            Because I’m slipping away
                            From all I thought was true.
                     Searching for the ledge to hold on to,
                         like the love that you show me,
             but I’m too blinded by all my problems to see it.
                                     Let me go
                                     Let me go
                                   Save yourself
Angel’s calls are muffled by the clash of evil claws pulling me downward.
           Losing the will to try to see the truth you show me .
                  It’s like a dream that I’m not in control of,
                 continuing to free-fall down to the bottom.
                                   Slipping away
                                   Slipping away
                                      Save me
                           Help me stay here with you,




                            13
               T’was But A Dream
           The black rose lies upon her lifeless corpse.
    Dark scenery lays midnight shades upon the graveyard.
            I laid her upon the stone, in angels’ care,
            as the darkness slowly creeps around me
      like a cloud of evil come to take these sins of mine.
       Into their hands I lay my love alone and heartless.
  So now, Love may never find a way to break her fragile heart
      as I once had. Never a love more complete then she,
    she be the angel from heaven and I be the demon of sin.
                      But there in the shadows,
                  she lay upon my arm peacefully
            and very much alive……..tis but a dream.
               Smiling upon the sight of her beauty,
                   I lay my hand upon her head.
 Bright hands reach upon the sky, then clouds cover the moon.
 Does she yet breathe? No, thy life remains still as if time has
                              stopped.
           Midnight black fills my once bright dreams,
          horror and death lay upon my crimson hands.
   A shapeless form laid before me, just a shadowy outline..
“She be dead. God has taken her from me when I needed her the
                               most.”
                      But there in the shadows,
                  she lay upon my arm peacefully
            and very much alive……..tis but a dream.
    Dark scenery lays midnight shades upon the graveyard.




                       14
                              Wondering
                      I sit in my empty room with only a
                                 bed and a door
                    wondering what you may be doing at
                                      this time,
                         hoping your not sick or crying
                       Not knowing if you’re thinking of
                                  killing yourself
                      but I guess I fear this voice in my
                                         head
                      telling me all the things you might
                                      try to do.
                      This odd feeling make me want to
                      not eat until I know that you’re ok.
                      Looking at and listening to things
                              that remind me of you
                     brings a smile to my saddened face,
                       only lasting for a second or two.
                     Joy never lasting too long while my
                    loneliness and the depression invade
                     and I’m holding back from crying at
                       times when I need you the most.
  It seems that you’re so close but you seem so far away from my arms
                                        reach.
      Wondering if the life you’re so willing to give up is already gone.
Days I sit next to my phone hoping that you’ll call and I will hear your voice.
       I’m saddened and the day passes without hearing your voice.
Needing this physical contact just you holding me or looking into your eyes.
         Seeing how beautiful you look with a smile upon your face,
       that’s how I know I’m loved and that you’ll never leave me.
 Knowing that you’re thinking about the something as you sit in your room.
     Maybe you’re crying or smiling hoping that you’re on my mind.
    Wondering and hoping to see you again but this wait is killing me.




                             15
            T his Lonely Feeling
                     This feeling of loneliness.
           Smoking just to stay awake and alive and
               the odd feeling like I'm not myself.
People asking if I'm ok, and not knowing what to tell them.
            Hiding myself away from the pain I feel
                    facing things all by myself.
     Feeling so distance from the person I was before.
                So alone, I sit until I find myself.
  Wishing that pain was some kind of think I can run away
                                from.
         Memories coming to mind about you and me.
       Everyone thinks I'm fine but really I'm haunted.
    Anger burns in my mind but forgetting sounds great.
 Hoping for someone to keep me company as I lose myself
                  in what I feel, lost in thought.
                Maybe feeling that I might return
                      but I'm lost in all of this.
    So I sit in my darkened room all alone just thinking.
 Thinking of what my life may become or what might even
                               happen.
 Smoking & drinking the night away probably wouldn't help
                                at all,
but alone is who I might even be a nobody in this big world.
           This feeling can't be shaken or forgotten.
               I'm broken at times I shouldn't be.
The worst might be over with but the affects are still there,
         like a fire that has gone out but it still burns.
    A heartless person I have and might even become.
     Might be for the best that I lose this heart of mine.
      It only seems to do no good if I can't use it right.
             So I sit with a thought of depression.




                         16
                                 Mistakes
                           Feelings and people
                          confuse me everyday.
The actions that some choose everyday seem sometimes to choose us.
                  What makes them do what they do?
      No one is perfect. No one makes the right choices everyday.
               Who are some to tell others what is wrong?
   Who is really ever right and who is to tell anyone that something is
                                really true?
    Nothing could be true, but on the other hand it could be all true.
   Imperfect people make things interesting to see what the out-come
                                 could be.
 Perfect-ness would be boring and we would never learn anything new.
            Mistakes happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone.
What one person can say to any other that their mistakes were wrong?
       Not one of us are better than another, we all have value.
Because of our imperfectness we are sinners, but that doesn't make us
                               bad, does it?
 I and many others would be labeled as a bad person, just because of
                             those mistakes.




                              17
                           Loneliness
          My world seems to shift into something feared,
Hoping for some form of light to brighten this pitch black world.
                   Some company would be great,
            but in my little world, there’s no one but me.
              Left alone with only my voice to listen to,
           this world used to be bright and filled with joy.
        It’s empty and dark, full of my fears and mistakes.
 Forced to watch every mistake made and person hurt by me.
                       Even within my dreams,
     I'm troubled with thoughts and monsters that haunt me.
             Everyday forced to put on this fake smile,
                      so people don't bother me.
             Acting like everything is fine when it isn’t,
but it seems like this is going to be so hard to hide from people.
   Loneliness and fear of losing someone close to my heart.
Asking yourself if this one’s going to last or if it’s even still in ef -
                                  fect;
   but you know in your heart that the person still loves you.
Hoping to see her once again but knowing it going to be far from
                                  now.
          Knowing you’re going to be alone for sometime,
                     with that random phone call.
        Telling yourself that she loves you unconditionally.
                                 What’s




                                    18
      What’s Wrong With the World?
          Good people never get the right cards in life.
Everyone throws them in a group with the rest of the bad people.
What’s wrong with the world that no one trusts people any more?
 Always quick to judge and that makes you step wrong and fall.
The world is just as quick to judge someone as fast as when they
                                first
                              came in.
 You can be a perfect gentleman and be treated like plain shit.
      Has anyone heard of getting to know someone first?
        Can anything in life be right for once in this life?
    What’s wrong with just choosing something that felt right
        and feeling good about what just had happened
           without your friends kicking you in the back
   and judging your every step like it was such a bad choice?
    Why can't anyone be happy with what we choose in life
 and stop taking things like a little child and making people feel
                                bad?
              Couldn't hurt just to try it on for once .




                          19
                        Break the Silence
                        Break the silence from the grave.
               Loneliness like a lovers’ grasp slowly slipping away.
                  Any efforts to embrace her hand are useless.
              Feeling helpless and yearning for some form of hope,
        But the darkness has me by the neck choking the hope from me.
    A beautiful angel comes to save the hopeless being from the darkness.
    Her warm embrace fills the once lifeless corpse with hope and purpose.
            Laying upon a flower bed in a star lit sky in her embrace.
       Hoping that she might be real and not some fantasy from a dream,
Staring into her eyes reflecting bliss and peacefulness within the midnight sky.
       Saved from the darkness from within my heart and shown the light
    From this angel playing peaceful music to send me into a trance of love.
I remember again when we lay forever embraced under this midnight’s sky full
                              of bliss and happiness.




                                   20
Poem book one
by Douglas .s. Gray




     The End




         21

				
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Description: this is a remake of photo book one with full photos and poems enjoy