The Writing Process
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 1, Slide 1
Improving content and
sentence structure—may
Revising
involve adding,
cutting, recasting
Correcting grammar,
Proofreading spelling, punctuation,
format, and mechanics
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 2
Memo Revised for Conciseness
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 1, Slide 3
Concise Wording
Revise your messages to eliminate wordiness.
Instead of this Try this
We are of the opinion that We think
Please feel free to Please
In addition to the above Also
At this point in time Now
Despite the fact that Although
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 4
Instructor Only Version
© 2007 Thomson South-Western
Wordy Prepositional Phrases
Instead of this Try this
We don’t as a general We don’t generally
rule cash personal cash personal checks.
checks.
Students in very few Students seldom get
instances receive parking tickets.
parking tickets.
She calls meetings on She calls monthly
a monthly basis. meetings.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 6
Long Lead-Ins
Instead of this Try this
This memo is to inform All employees
you that all employees meet today.
meet today.
I am writing this letter Thanks to
to say thanks to everyone who
everyone who voted. voted.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 7
Outdated Expressions
Outdated Modern
as per your request at your request
pursuant to your request at your request
attached hereunto attached
under separate cover separately
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 8
Needless Adverbs
To sound more credible and to streamline
your writing, avoid excessive use of adverbs
such as definitely, quite, really, and actually.
Instead of this Try this
The manager is The manager is
actually quite pleased pleased with your
with your proposal proposal because the
because the plan is plan is workable.
definitely workable.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 9
Fillers
Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there
and it when used merely to take up space.
Instead of this Try this
There are two Two employees
employees who should should be
be promoted. promoted.
It was Lisa and Jeff Lisa and Jeff were
who were honored. honored.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 10
Revise the following sentences to avoid a long
lead-ins, wordy prepositional phrases, outdated
expressions, needless adverbs, fillers, and/or other
forms of wordiness.
This e-mail message is to We will probably
inform you that in all
probability we will actually
Quick finish in two weeks.
finish in two weeks. Check
There are many brokers who Many brokers are
are quite certain that these certain that these
stocks are completely safe. stocks are safe.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 11
Revise the following sentences to achieve
conciseness.
Pursuant to your request, As you requested,
there are two contracts that two contracts are
are attached hereto. attached.
Quick
All employees are hereby Generally,
Check
informed that as a general employees may not
rule computers may not be use computers for
used for activities that are personal activities.
personal.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 12
Redundant Words
Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What
words could be omitted in these expressions?
advance warning necessary requisite
close proximity new beginning
exactly identical past history
filled to capacity refer back
final outcome serious danger
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 13
Jargon
Avoid technical terms and special terminology
that readers would not recognize.
Computer jargon Alternative language
queue list of documents
waiting to be printed
export transfer data from one
program to another
bandwidth Internet capacity
Is jargon ever permissible?
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 14
Slang
Avoid slang (informal expressions with
arbitrary or extravagantly changed meanings).
to “bag on” to tease, to nag, or to
complain
clueless unaware, naïve
turkey someone stupid or silly
chill/chill out relax
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 15
Slang
An example from the world of Dilbert:
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 16
Clichés
Avoid clichés (overused expressions).
Substitute more precise words.
Instead of this Try this
Last but not least, you Finally, you should
should keep your nose work diligently.
to the grindstone.
We had reached the We could go no
end of our rope. further.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 17
Revise the following sentence to avoid slang,
clichés, and redundancies.
Ms. Miller, who shoots Quick Miller, who is
Ms.
straight from the shoulder, straightforward,
demanded final completion Check
demanded
by January 1. completion by
January 1.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 18
Revise the following sentences to avoid slang,
clichés, and redundancies.
Last but not least, the Finally, the attorney
attorney referred back to an referred to an
exactly identical case. Quick identical case.
Check
With a little advance warning, With warning, we
we could have sold out could have sold out
before our stocks tanked. before our stocks hit
bottom.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 19
Uses
Precise
Verbs
Includes The Best Avoids Wordy
Vivid Business Verb/Noun
Adjectives Writing Conversions
Uses
Concrete
Nouns
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 20
Precise Verbs
Revise your writing to include precise verbs
instead of general, lackluster, all-purpose ones.
Market researchers said that
sales would improve.
What more precise verbs could replace said?
Market researchers forecasted improved sales.
Market researchers promised improved sales.
Market researchers predicted improved sales.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 21
Please contact their
sales rep today.
What more precise verbs
could replace contact?
Please telephone their sales rep
today.
Please fax their sales rep today.
Please e-mal their sales rep today.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 1, Slide 22
Buried Verbs
Revise verbs that have been converted to
nouns.
Look for words ending in
Tip tion or ment. Could they
be more efficiently and
forcefully converted to verbs?
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 23
Instead of this Try this
The manager came to The manager
the realization that realized that
telecommuting made telecommuting
sense. made sense.
A job seeker must A job seeker must
make application apply before
before May 1. May 1.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 1, Slide 24
Instead of this Try this
Once we have the Once we
establishment of a establish a Web
Web site, our site, our business
business will grow. will grow.
Please give serious
consideration to a Please seriously
company intranet. consider a
company intranet.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 1, Slide 25
Revise the following sentences by using more
precise verbs or by centering the action in a verb.
The seller said he wouldThe seller promised to
contact you. e-mail [telephone or fax]
you. Quick
We must give encourage- We must encourage
ment to our team. our team. Check
Consumers show a Consumers prefer
preference for buttered buttered popcorn.
popcorn.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 26
Revise the following sentences centering the
action in the verb.
Please make an Please assess the
assessment of the
Quick home's value.
home's value. Check
Ann made a suggestion Ann suggested that we
that we hire Lee. hire Lee.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 27
Concrete Nouns
Revise your writing to include specific,
concrete nouns instead of general, abstract
ones.
Instead of this Try this
The man asked Jeff Jones asked for a 10
for a raise. percent salary increasey.
An employee Kelly Keeler, production
presented a manager, presented a plan
proposal. to stagger hour.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 28
Vivid Adjectives
Revise your writing to include descriptive,
dynamic adjectives instead of overworked,
all-purpose ones.
Instead of this Try this
The report was
The report was
persuasive (or detailed,
good.
original, thorough).
The report was Possible revisions?
bad.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 29
What to Watch for
in Proofreading
Spelling
Grammar
Punctuation
Names and numbers
Format
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 30
Proofreading Marks
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 31
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 32
How to Proofread
Complex Documents
Allow adequate time.
Print a copy, preferably double-spaced.
Be prepared to find errors.
Read once for meaning and once for
grammar/mechanics.
Reduce your reading speed.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 4, Slide 33
For documents that must be perfect:
Have someone read aloud the original
while someone else checks the printout.
Spell names.
Spell difficult words.
Note capitalization.
Note punctuation.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 1, Slide 34