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Creating Business Message

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Creating Business Message
Shared by: Dennis Tai
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 Audience oriented

 Purposeful

 Economical



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 1

Improving Your

Business Writing

To improve your writing skills, you need

 Good teaching materials with excellent

model documents

 An effective writing

process

 A trainer (like your

instructor)

 Practice



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 2

The Writing Process









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 3

Approximately how much time

should be spent at each stage?









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 4

Prewriting

 Analyzing the purpose and the audience

• Identifying your purpose

• Selecting the best channel

• Switching to faster channels









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 5

Factors Determining

Channel Selection



 Importance of message

 Amount and speed of feedback required

 Necessity of a permanent record

 Cost of the channel

 Degree of formality required





Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 6

Factors Affecting

Media Richness

 Speed

 Interactivity

 Verbal and

nonverbal cues

 Everyday

language

 Focus on individual



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 7

• Rate the Personal letter 1

following from Fax

5 to 1 in terms

2

of media Face-to-face, one-on-one discussion 5

richness Posted flyer or announcement

(5 = media

1

rich; 1 = Instant Message 4

media poor) Telephone call 4

• Discuss any

Teleconference (audio) 4

differences

with the Video conference (audio and video) 5

suggested

ratings

Voice mail 3

provided. E-mail 2

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 8

Choosing Communication Channels









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 9

Choosing Communication Channels

(continued)









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 10

Choosing Communication Channels

(concluded)









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 11

E-mail 

What channel is Fax

Letter

best to announce

decreased

Memo 

Report

insurance benefits

Telephone

for 250 employees? Voice Mail

Meeting

Conversation

Discuss any differences with the Web

suggested answers provided.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 12

What channel is E-mail

best for a sales Fax

message promoting Letter 

a new product to Memo

customers? Report

Telephone 

What channel is Voice Mail

best for responding Meeting

to similar customer Conversation

inquiries? Web 

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 13

Prewriting

 Analyzing the purpose and the audience

• Identifying your purpose

• Selecting the best channel

• Switching to faster channels

 Anticipating the Audience

• Profiling the audience

• Responding to the profile





Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 14

Asking the Right Questions to

Profile Your Audience









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 15

Asking the Right Questions to

Profile Your Audience

(concluded)









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 16

Prewriting

 Analyzing the purpose and the audience

• Identifying your purpose

• Selecting the best channel

• Switching to faster channels

 Anticipating the Audience

• Profiling the audience

• Responding to the profile

 Adapting to the task and audience



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 17

Spotlight

Audience

Benefits







Create a

Message That

Suits Your

Audience









Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e

Mary Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 18

Chapter 2, Slide

Spotlight Audience Benefits

Shape your statements to involve the

reader.



Instead of this: Try this:

We are promoting a You will enjoy total peace

new plan that we of mind with our

believe has many affordable hospitalization

outstanding benefits. plan that meets all your

needs.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 19

Spotlight

Audience

Benefits







Create a

Message That

Suits Your

Audience







Cultivate

A “You”

View





Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 20

Cultivate a “You” View

Emphasize second-person pronouns

(you/your) instead of first-person pronouns

(I/we, us, our)

Instead of this: Try this:

Before we can allow you to You may begin

purchase items on this new making purchases

account, we must wait two on your new account

weeks to verify your credit. in two weeks.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 21

Create audience benefits and use the

“you view.”

Revise these sentences: These are better:



We are now offering Quick now purchase

You can

H-P computers at H-P computers at

discounted prices. Check prices.

discounted

We are pleased to Congratulations! You

announce that you have have been selected to

been approved to enroll enter our leadership

in our leadership training program!

training program.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 22

Spotlight

Audience

Benefits







Create a

Message That

Suits Your

Audience

Cultivate

Sound

A “You”

Conversational

View









Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e

Mary Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 23

Chapter 2, Slide

Sound Conversational



Instead of this: Try this:

The undersigned takes I’m happy to . . .

pleasure in . . .

It may be of some concern We’ve credited your

to you to learn that your account for $250.

check has been received

and your account has been

credited for $250.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 24

Levels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Found in

Some comic Business Scientific writing,

strips, and songs, messages, novels, legal documents,

some most newspapers, scholarly books,

commercials, and most formal essays,

some magazines proclamations

conversations,

some IM and

e-mail messages



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 25

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Characterized by

Incorrect grammar, Correct grammar Correct grammar,

unpredictable and punctuation, serious tone,

sentence structure, conversational complex sentence

inappropriate tone, simple structure,

punctuation, slang, sentence structure, polysyllabic words

vulgarisms familiar words









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 26

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Examples

wasted ruined annihilated

nab catch apprehend

bad-mouth criticize disparage

dough, bread money currency

stewed, intoxicated, inebriated

plastered drunk

I ain’t I’m not I am not

humongous enormous prodigious

tight frugal penurious





Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 27

Revise to make the tone conversational,

yet professional and concise.

Revise these sentences: These are better:

To facilitate contract Quickurge you to

We

ratification, your negotiators approve the contract

urge that the membership Check yes.

by voting

respond in the affirmative.

Kindly inform the undersigned Please tell me whether

whether or not your your representative will

representative will be making be visiting before June

a visitation in the near future. 1.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 28

Spotlight

Audience

Benefits







Create a

Employ Cultivate

Message That

Positive A “You”

Suits Your

Language View

Audience









Sound

Conversational







Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e

Mary Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 29

Chapter 2, Slide

Employ Positive Language



Instead of this: Try this:

Employees may not use the Employees may use

First Street entrance during the Market Street

remodeling. entrance during

remodeling.

We cannot fill your order We can fill your order

until we receive an exact once we receive an

model number. exact model number.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 30

Hidden Messages



Some words and phrases convey a

negative and unpleasant tone. They

may imply a hidden message that the

writer does not intend. Think twice

before using the following negative

expressions.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 31

Negative Language Hidden Meaning

You overlooked You are careless

You state that But I don’t believe you

You failed to You are careless

You claim that It’s probably untrue

You are wrong I am right

You do not understand You are not very bright

Your delay You are at fault

You forgot to You are inefficient and careless



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 32

State ideas more positively.



Revise these sentences: These are better:

We must withhold payment Quick will be paid

You

until you complete the job promptly once the

satisfactorily. Check completed

job is

satisfactorily.

If you fail to follow each By following each

requirement, you will not requirement, you will

receive your $50 rebate. receive your $50

rebate.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 33

Spotlight

Audience

Benefits



Use Cultivate

Inclusive A “You”

Create a

Language View

Message That

Suits Your

Audience





Employ

Sound

Positive

Conversational

Language









Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e

Mary Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 34

Chapter 2, Slide

Use Inclusive Language



Instead of this: Try this:

Have you called a Have you called a

salesman? salesperson?

Every executive  All executives have their own

has his own office. offices.

 Every executive has an office.

This alternative is

 All executives have offices.

wordy and calls  Every executive has his or

attention to itself

her own office.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 35

Revise to use inclusive language.

Revise these sentences: These are better:

Any applicant for the Applicants for police

position of policeman must Quick officer positions must

submit a medical report submit medical

signed by his physician.

Check reports signed by

their physicians.

Every employee is entitled All employees are

to see his personnel file. entitled to see their

personnel files.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 36

Spotlight

Audience

Draw on Benefits Cultivate

Familiar A “You”

Words View

Create a

Message That

Adopt Suits Your Sound

Plain Audience Conversational

Language



Use

Use Positive

Inclusive

Language

Language







Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e

Mary Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 37

Chapter 2, Slide

Adopt Plain Language

Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated

language.

Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein addressed

is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or her department

representative submit, to the Department of Labor official

described above, a comment on whether the proposed plan, in his

or her considered view, meets the requirements of the 2003 law.



Simple Translation: You may wish to comment on whether the

proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2003 law.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 38

Draw on Familiar Words

Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar

words. Use short, simple, and common

words whenever possible.

Less familiar words Simple alternatives

encounter meet

extrapolate project

obligatory required

terminate end

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 39

Revise the following sentences using

simpler language.



Please ascertain whether Please find out whether

we must perpetuate our we must continue our Quick

current contract. current contract.

Check

He hypothesized that He guessed that stock

stock values would values would fall.

deteriorate.





Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 40

Revise the following sentences using

simpler language.

Because we cannot Because we cannot

monitor all activities, we Quickcheck all activities, we

must terminate the must end the contract.

agreement. Check

I’ll interface with Mark to I’ll talk with Mark about

access his people. using his staff.









Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 41

Seven Ways Technology Can

Improve Your Business Writing

 Fighting writer’s block

 Collecting information electronically

 Outlining and organizing ideas

 Improving correctness and precision

 Adding graphics for emphasis

 Designing and producing

professional-looking documents,

presentations, and Web pages

 Using collaborative software for

team writing

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Chapter 2, Slide 42


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