March 22, 2008
2 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
By Nick Mavrakis clusions usually noticeable without the diamond with a metallic rim,
Special to The National Herald magnification). highlighting the top of the stone.
The First Step
The ‘4Cs’ all come into play The tension setting uses a compres-
he engagement ring when pricing a diamond ring, so it sion spring for pressure, holding a
T plays a classic, symbolic
role in marriage. As
such, it’s often the source
is imperative to be able to juggle
the 4Cs when deciding what to go
for. What is the best way to achieve
diamond in place, and giving the il-
lusion that it’s floating in air.
Other settings exist that accom-
in the Proclamation
of much anxiety. With a little prepa- optimal value for money? How can modate multiple stones. The chan-
ration and information, however, you get a ring that she’ll love, with- nel, for example, fits a small row of
the numerous choices to be made out breaking the budget? gemstones between two grooves or
won’t be nearly as daunting. Many experts agree that cut is “channels”. These surround the en-
The engagement ring is the probably the most important factor tire ring. Alternatively, choices like
doorway to marriage – that tradi- when dealing with the beauty of a di- the three-stone setting hold gems
tional first step that asks a loved amond. Because it effects the actual representing past, present, and fu-
one, “Will you be my partner for sparkle, this is the element that will ture – with the middle gem usually
life?”. This proclamation of love is be most evident in the liveliness of a being slightly larger than the two
the item that’s seen by all, signify- diamond. On the other hand, clarity aligning stones.
ing the bond between the bride-to- doesn’t usually effect the sparkle of a The final piece of the ring is, of
be and the groom. The mundane diamond unless heavily included course, the actual band itself. Cir-
motions of a simple wave of the (where light can become distorted cular bands are the most classical,
hand, or extension of the fingers, through large irregularities). As but bands that are slightly more
now become a ceremonial event: an such, a lower clarity diamond will curvy are starting to come into
ever-lasting reminder that what is, come at a more affordable price vogue. Also, think about the mater-
no doubt, one of the grandest days without having a noticeable quality- ial of the ring. Platinum is always a
of the bride’s life is approaching. deficiency, where any inclusions popular choice, as it neatly matches
With such weight placed on the would be invisible to the naked eye. the brilliance of diamond. Platinum
ring, the inevitable questions arise. When dealing with the weight of is rarer than other precious metals,
What kind of ring should I get? the stone, a useful tip to remember and this will be reflected in the
How much should I spend? What is that diamonds frequently jump in pricing. White gold makes for a
are the different options available? price as soon as hitting the full good alternative to platinum, hav-
To begin with, know that dia- carat mark. As mentioned above, ing the same silver luster, but being
monds (which comes from the an- carats are divided into points; thus, more affordably priced. The other
cient Greek word “Adamas” mean- a 1.80 or 1.90 carat diamond will prominent style is yellow gold.
ing “invincible”) are the most popu- offer substantial savings when When dealing with gold rings, re-
lar choice for the gemstone of the compared to a 2.00 carat diamond. member that higher carat values
engagement ring. In the early to Keep this in mind when you have will hold up better over the years
mid 20th century, the De Beers dia- an idea of the size and weight of the than lower ones. An 18kt gold ring,
mond company started a high-pro- stone you’re looking for. for example, will experience less
file advertising campaign to link di- Although the color of the dia- wear and tear than a 9kt one.
amonds with engagement. In 1947, mond will effect its price, this can With all this information now at
the company came up with the be masked by the band used for the your disposal, the final step is a little
memorable slogan, “A Diamond is ring. White gold or platinum can bit of reconnaissance. What style
Forever,” on account of diamonds make a stone appear whiter than it does the bride-to-be like? Does she
being the hardest natural sub- is. Look at samples at your jeweler’s wear mostly silver or gold jewelry?
stance, and thereby, lasting more to help you compare the color-ver- What size should the ring be?
than a lifetime. Since then, the pre- sus-price tradeoff. Some careful observation and
cious stone has become synony- Of course, there’s more to en- subtle talks with the bride’s friends
mous with the engagement ring. gagement rings than just the ‘4Cs’. and family can answer some of
When discussing diamonds, The shape of the diamond, which is these questions. An unworn ring
you’ll often hear about the infa- different than the cut, will be the can be taken to any jeweler for siz-
mous ‘4Cs’. Anyone shopping for a most evident choice you make. The ing. There’s always the option of
diamond engagement ring should shape refers to the actual geometry actually going with the bride and
familiarize themselves with what of the stone. The most popular picking out the engagement ring,
exactly the four Cs are. These are: shape is round, which has a stan- as has become more commonplace
carat, cut, color, and clarity. dard cut of 58 facets (known as be- these days; this is a safer option,
The carat is probably the most ing brilliant-cut), but many other but it does, admittedly, lose the tra-
well-known of a diamond’s (and, in shapes are available. The emerald ditionalism and surprise of picking
fact, all gemstone’s) characteris- shape, for example, is rectangular one out yourself.
tics; it describes the weight of the and showcases a large table, or sur- When shopping for a ring, check
stone, where one carat equals 200 face, area of the diamond. Al- the jewelers return policy. Will they
milligrams. The word carat is de- though it doesn’t have some of the accept exchanges if the would-be-
rived from the Greek word ker΅tion eye-catcher that it should be. It en- fore, will decrease in value when trapped within the cooling stone. brilliance of other shapes (due to bride doesn’t quite like the stone?
(via the Arabic word qirat, and Ital- sures that the stone has the bril- more yellow hue is detected in it. A These artifacts can show up in a di- having fewer facets), it’s a popular It’s also a good idea to check if the
ian word carato), which literally liance and “fire” that simply would- popular color scale developed by amond as internal defects known choice nevertheless. store is accredited with industry or-
means “little horn”, used to de- n’t be the case were the stone cut GIA (Gemological Institute of as inclusions, or external ones The pear shape is like the round ganizations, such as the GIA or the
scribe the seed pods of carobs. Be- for weight alone, with light reflect- America) grades diamonds, from D known as blemishes. Small cloud- shape, being brilliant-cut, but has a Jewelers of America. Recommen-
fore precision scales emerged, ing and refracting through the (colorless) to Z (light yellow). Bear like or whitish cracks can some- narrow tip on one end, and a dations from friends and family are
carob seeds were used to measure crafted surfaces of the stone. The in mind, some diamonds will actu- times be seen, and these will effect rounded tip on the other. This an excellent place to start your
the weight of gemstones, as they cut of a diamond is the one factor in ally increase in value as more color the clarity of a diamond, as will the shape, also known as the teardrop, search for potential jewelers.
were thought to all be of uniform the ‘4Cs’ that isn’t dictated by na- is detected. For example, because size, color, number, and location of has quite a slimming effect on the One final piece of advice is that
weight. Diamonds weights can also ture; it must be done by a diamond red is so rare in these gemstones, a these inclusions.. In other words, fingers when used as a ring gem- if you have a certain day in mind to
be referred to in points, where one cutter. red diamond would be substantial- the clarity defines how “clean” a di- stone pop the question, make sure to plan
carat equals 100 points. Color describes the hue of a dia- ly more expensive than a clearer amond is, with higher clarity dia- Another factor to consider is the for the ring in advance. Most jewel-
The cut of a diamond refers to mond. Ideally, diamonds should be yellow one. monds fetching a premium. Clarity ring’s setting. The setting refers to ers need up to six weeks and be-
the number, placement, shape, and colorless and clear. In reality, how- The final ‘C’ refers to clarity. Dia- can be measured by a trained pro- the metal framework holding the yond to make a custom ring.
craftsmanship of the facets in a fin- ever, the stones are rarely perfectly monds are made of mostly pure fessional using a loupe, which is a diamond. Single-stone settings, Buying an engagement ring is a
ished stone. This is the element transparent, due to chemical impu- carbon, but during crystallization, 10X magnifying lens, and is graded like the bezel, serve to accentuate formidable task, but hopefully, you
that makes diamonds flash in the rities or structural irregularities. A other minerals, or even other on a scale: from Flawless (no inclu- the gemstone in the center. The now have the tools to make it that
light, turning it into the intended naturally white diamond, there- strands of carbon, may become sions or blemishes) to Included (in- bezel envelopes the perimeter of much easier.
THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 3
Weddings the Greek Orthodox Way
By Emmanuel Mendonca
hose of Greek heritage
T may not necessarily
know what a traditional
ding entails. The wedding service
in the Greek Orthodox faith is an
ancient and beautiful ceremony,
which has been celebrated in its
current form for centuries. The
wedding ceremony is full of sym-
bolism and is a great experience if
you have never attended one be-
fore, because it is likely to be quite
different from other weddings you
have attended in Western Europe.
The service is also rather unique
because the bride and groom do
not make vows to each other – their
presence together in the church is
taken to mean that they are serious
about getting married. There are
no wedding rehearsals and the cer-
emony usually has a very relaxed
atmosphere – guests take photos
whenever they want to and often
chat quietly among themselves
throughout the ceremony.
In most cases, the wedding
guests will wait with the groom dated by modern standards in
outside the church until the bride Greek Orthodox weddings. These
arrives (a few sneaky wedding pros include: the baking of bread and
will go into the church early to se- cakes containing coins, rolling a ba-
cure a good seat). In the Summer, by on the marital bed to encourage
when most weddings take place, it fertility, the throwing of money on-
is not unusual for ceremonies to be to the marital bed, and the pinning
arranged back to back, so the of money onto the bride (and
guests attending a marriage will of- sometimes also the groom) at the
ten stand around with those who wedding reception;
have just attended the previous Although these rituals are seen
wedding are ready to leave. as traditional, fewer and fewer
Wedding dress commentators young people marrying today are
among the crowd will get to consid- following them, because they are
er and discuss at least two brides seen as old-fashioned. Many people
and maybe even a third as they do not wish to put their guests
leave the church – bargain! Mean- through the ordeal of other people
while, the groom waits for the gers, three times. A number of ritu- It was at this wedding that Jesus being able to see how much money
bride at the entrance to the church, als in the ceremony are repeated performed his first miracle, chang- they pin on the bride, for example.
often holding her floral bouquet. three times, and this symbolizes the ing water into wine, which was Although money is still a very com-
He hands it to her as they meet and Holy Trinity: God the Father, the then given to the married couple. mon, as well as practical, wedding
they then go inside together fol- Son and the Holy Spirit. Wine is given to the couple and present, it is often given to the cou-
lowed by the guests. There is no This Ceremony consists of sever- they each drink from it three times. ple before the wedding day or to a
separation of the guests into guests al key parts. First, several prayers The priest the leads the couple, third person at the wedding recep-
of the bride and guests of the are said and then as they come to who are still wearing their stefana, tion, for safe-keeping.
groom – everyone sits together and an end, the priest joins the right three times around the altar on Greeks living in the more re-
in the case of small churches, many hands of the bride and groom. their first steps as a married couple. mote parts of Greece and abroad,
people prefer to stand in a spot Their hands remain joined until the The Koumbaro follows close be- who will naturally feel more
where they can get a good view of end of the wedding ceremony, hind the couple holding the stefana strongly about doing things the tra-
the proceedings. which symbolizes the couples place. At this point the couple (and ditional way, are more likely to fol-
The wedding ceremony itself is union. anyone standing nearby) is usually low these traditions than those liv-
in two parts: the Service of Be- The bride and groom are showered with rice, which was ear- ing in Athens, for example. Like
trothal and the Ceremony of the crowned with thin crowns, or ste- lier handed out to the wedding weddings in many places, Greek
Sacrament of Marriage. The ex- fana, which are joined by a white guests. The priest will often make weddings are changing. For exam-
changing of rings is the focus of the ribbon and have been blessed by use of the bible he is holding to give ple, there is a growing fashion to go
Service of Betrothal. The priest the priest. The crowns symbolize himself some protection! and get married on an island and I
blesses the rings by holding them in the glory and honor that is being When the Ceremonial Walk has recently heard someone say that he
his right hand and making the sign bestowed on them by God, and the ended, the priest blesses the cou- was looking into getting married in
of the cross over the heads of the ribbon represents their unity. The ple, the crowns are removed and he a ski resort. He was wisely advised
bride and groom. The rings are Koumbaro then exchanges the then separates their previously by a friend: "You had better first ask
then placed on the third fingers of crowns between the heads of the joined hands with the bible, re- the priest if he wants to perform a
their right hands. The Best Man, or couple, three times. minding them that only God can marriage up a mountain!"
Koumbaro, the couples religious The crowning is followed by a break the union which they have
sponsor, then swaps the rings over reading of the Gospel, which tells just entered into. The above article was originally
between the bride and grooms fin- of the marriage of Cana at Galilee. Some traditions are a little out- published on athensroom.com
507 Larkfield Road, East Northport, NY 11731
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4 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
By Marilyn Woodman make a point of inviting and listen- proven uncooperative, relieve them
Thinkwedding.com ing to any input from the brides- of their duties before the wedding,
maids regarding the color and style if you want to retain your sanity.
ou should keep certain of the dress – they're going to have There is another situation that
Y things in mind in your se-
lection of your brides-
to pay for it and wear it, and they
should be entitled to at least some
input. It would be a tactful and con-
you may be confronted with, and
that is being forced into selecting a
bridesmaid you hadn't planned on.
maid/matron of honor and best siderate act to select several dresses Do it! Usually, it's a family member
man. The first and most important and present them to the brides- you don't know well, but for rea-
factor is the knowledge that you maids for their opinions. Be open sons unknown to you, you might be
are more likely to know and associ- and open-minded about the styles pressured into inviting this person
ate with your relatives for the rest and colors, and especially about the to be a bridesmaid. Unless the per-
of your life than a friend. In many price! son is completely incompatible, ob-
instances and for many reasons, By the way, it is not strictly nec- noxious, or plainly doesn't want to
people are often closer to a friend, essary that the bridesmaid's dresses do it either, this should definitely
particular a life-long friend, than a either be alike, or the same color. It be a point you should gracefully
sibling whom them might not even is also not necessary that they wear concede on. There is an exception,
like! There is a strong temptation to anything at all on their heads, or however; that is being forced into
ask your friend to be maid/matron that their shoes match the color of asking a child who is temperamen-
of honor or best man – if there is the dress. Far better to have a com- tally completely unsuited for the
any chance that you might offend a fortable bridesmaid on your wed- role. She may be too young, or she
relative --don't do it! In this case, ding day because they're wearing may have behavioral problems that
blood is definitely thicker than wa- their own shoes, and they like their would mean she couldn't be count-
ter. There is no hard and fast rule in dress! ed on to behave properly on your
your selection, it's simply a matter This also leads into a discussion special day.
of common sense. regarding the bridesmaid or A friend of mine solved the issue
The second important factor in maid/matron of honor who seems with an autistic child whose behav-
your selection of attendants should to be "difficult" to deal with, after ior was erratic at the best of times,
be how much of a financial sacrifice they have accepted. and whose brothers and sisters
participating you your wedding The signs are a person who is were going to be in the wedding.
will be for them. You would be sur- unable to keep an appointment and She very tactfully offered, at her
prised how many times people are is difficult to contact, and always own expense, to have the child
actually relieved not to be asked, seems to be busy. It is very likely dressed in the same dress the other
because of the expense involved. that she's trying to tell you that for flower girls were wearing. She even
Attendants are expected to pay for one reason or another she really drove the child and her parents to
a gown they are not likely to use doesn't want to be a bridesmaid in the fitting.
again, even if it would suitable for your wedding. Before you take of- The child was also allowed to
that purpose – people just don't go fense at her or her actions, please participate in the preparations,
to a lot of formal occasions any stop and think that her financial or such as the rehearsal and the re-
more. She has to pay for the shoes, personal circumstances may have hearsal dinner, and she went to the
which again, she probably can't use changed since she agreed to be a bride's home that day to dress with
again. bridesmaid in your wedding and the others. The child then sat in a
She will have to pay for a show- she doesn't want to hurt your feel- pew with her parents at the front of
er gift as well as a wedding gift, and ings by backing out. This is espe- the church in the same dress, and it
may have to partially pay for the cially true if the bridesmaid is a rel- went a long way to soothing feel-
shower as well. There may be mul- ative. ings that could have been ruffled.
tiple showers, and she may be ex- In such a case, your goal should The parents were well aware of the
pected to provide a gift for each. In be to relieve this person of the problems, but they didn't want
addition, there may be transporta- obligation of being your brides- their child slighted because she was
tion and housing expenses if an at- maid way in advance of the cere- different – and she wasn't left out.
tendant lives out of town. Any mony, but the best way to do that is In addition, the problem was re-
woman who consents to be a to try to lead her into asking you to solved because the bride and
bridesmaid or maid/matron of back out. You will do both of you a bride's family got their way and the
honor in your wedding is doing you favor by having an open and honest child was not in the actual ceremo-
a terrific favor – please understand discussion about the situation. ny, but in such a way that no feel-
this and be properly grateful! Considering the fact that your ings were hurt. That is the founda-
Remember that it is your wed- nerves are probably not in their tion of etiquette!
ding, so don't let age and physical best state, you might want to really Your bridesmaids are obligated
appearance stop you from asking tell her off, but please give her the if asked to help pay for a shower for
someone to be your bridesmaid. Af- benefit of the doubt and take the you, and your Maid or Matron of
ter all, beauty truly is in the eye of high road. Remember, it may be Honor is obligated to organize the
the beholder, and if she is beautiful your wedding, but it's not always shower and collect the funds from
in your eyes, it's your wedding and about you. the bridesmaids. If one or more of
that's what counts. She even may start out the dis- the bridesmaids are unable or un-
If you would like to ask a person cussion insisting that she still wants willing to pay their share, she must
who is perhaps on the heavy side, is to be a bridesmaid, especially if the make up the difference. In addi-
pregnant, is not the most attractive reason she's uncooperative is finan- tion, if a bachelorette party is
woman, or is considered a little old- cial. Financial reasons can be a planned, she may be required to
er than the norm – by all means ask very difficult issue to discuss. If perform the same tasks and obliga-
them anyway – that is your privi- your attendant is behaving as I tions for it as well. If you haven't
lege as the bride, and chances are if have outlined above absolutely understood before, perhaps you
there any comments at all, they will positively do not let her be a part of now understand what is involved
be expressions of approval. your wedding party! If you do, you to be your bridesmaid or Maid/Ma-
You must use some common will cause yourself an incredible tron of Honor, and will treat them
sense in the selection of the dresses amount of grief that you don't with the kindness and considera-
and shoes. While you may select need. tion they deserve!
what you want your bridesmaids to I'm not saying that you should
wear, consider the fact that they are make snap judgments, but if this The above article was originally
paying. It is only good manners to person over a period of months has published on thinkwedding.com
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THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 5
How to Make Out-Of-Towners Feel At Home
or a significant number of your special day.
F your friends and family
members, showing up for
your nuptial celebration
may mean hopping on a plane to
cross state lines, or even national
Create welcome packets of rele-
vant information (phone numbers
of the families of the bride and
groom, the names of the other
guests staying at the hotel, nearby
lines. These out-of-towners will go hot spots to check out) to leave in
to a lot of effort and expense to guests' rooms with another copy of
share in your momentous occasion, your wedding itinerary, plus local
so it's your job to welcome them, brochures and sightseeing maps.
help them get around, and keep Enlist the aid of your wedding crew
them entertained. With that in to assemble and distribute all these
mind, here's how to put them at treats. Finally, add that finishing
ease. touch and pen a personal note
One of the simplest, yet proba- thanking each guest for coming to
bly most useful, things you could celebrate with you.
do for your guests is to provide a Leading up to the main event,
wedding itinerary. After sending you may have plenty to fuss over,
out your invitations, mail guests an but out-of-town guests may not.
additional clever, elegant, or inter- Don't leave them in the lurch with
esting communiqué with a com- nothing to do. If many guests are
plete rundown of the events lead- showing up the night before the cer-
ing up to and following your walk emony, suggest ways they can stay
down the aisle. In addition, create a amused while you hold the re-
wedding web page for an easily ref- hearsal dinner. Ask a friend or rela-
erenced one-stop-shop for guests to tive to host a gathering like a back-
check up on everything you have yard barbecue or pizza party to help
planned. In both cases, include key guests get to know one another. Or
times, locations, who is hosting, arrange to have everyone meet to-
what to wear, and so on for each ac- gether at a restaurant or bar. Better
tivity. Tell your visitors about any yet, create a more casual rehearsal
free time they'll have, and provide dinner, and open up the invite list to
suggestions for how to fill it. There include everyone who might be
may be events you have in mind around. For guests who like to enter-
(such as a brunch the morning after tain themselves, be sure to supply a
the wedding) that travelers should roster of your favorite restaurants,
know about in advance so they can shops, and local movie theaters as a
schedule their trips around them. thoughtful gesture.
Be aware that since many of Though recommended, some-
your guests are taking to the skies, how to get around once they arrive. times it's not possible to have your
they may be turning your nuptial Recommend different places for reception immediately follow your
event into a weekend getaway or guests to stay. Look for locations ceremony. If there will be a lengthy
part of a vacation. Also, remember near your ceremony and reception break between your "I dos" and the
that some of your guests may never sites, and start calling around party, or your ceremony is late in
have visited the area before. You about six months beforehand to the day, try to come up with a game
may wish to add in "travel guide" check on large-scale availability for plan. During a lull, some people
bits of information to your pre- the days surrounding your wed- won't mind going back to the hotel
wedding itinerary to get guests ex- ding, and to inquire about special and kicking back. But others may
cited about the journey. For exam- group rates. To get the best deal for be interested in touring your
ple, if there are some great sights to your guests, reserve blocks of stomping grounds. If guests will
see or points of interest to visit, tell rooms at a couple of hotels. Keep have the morning free, suggest a
your guests in case they'd like to do your guest's probable budget range game of golf or a visit to a museum.
some exploring. Do some research in mind, and recommend both fan- With lots of spare time between the
and investigate which museums cy fare for those flush with cash and main events, you could organize an
will have amazing exhibits show- a less expensive alternative for the excursion, such as taking a group of
ing, whether or not the local sports budget-minded. For the best air- guests to visit nearby attractions or
team is playing a home game, and fares, try getting in touch with the to see a movie.
what musical or other cultural per- airlines directly. Inquire about fre- Remember the reason that these
formances will be happening. quent-flyer deals, special dis- intrepid travelers have come is to
Though footing the bill for trav- counts, and group rates for those see you, so make sure they do. Pull
elers' overnight accommodations who may all be flying in from the them aside amid all the revelry for
and flights isn't your responsibility, same place. some one-on-one attention, or
you and your fiancée should offer Some out-of-towners will make it a point to tell them at the
suggestions for how to find both choose to rent cars (be sure to pro- receiving line how much seeing
(and tips on how to score good vide car rental info with your hotel them means to you. Raise your
deals will no doubt be appreciated and airline details), but for those glass during toasting time to ac-
by guests). Be sure to put important who don't, you'll have to figure out someone pick up nondrivers from guests know you've arranged this, flowers, a tin of local chocolates, or knowledge those who have come
details for airlines and hotels (web- how they'll get to and from the the airport – especially if they're and clue them in on who to look a bottle of chilled bubbly. What you from afar, and consider setting up
site and street addresses, phone wedding. Cover all the bases: orga- new to the area or get nervous trav- for). choose to give depends on your re- something special for journeyers,
numbers, directions, and cost infor- nize a fleet of relatives that will act eling. Recruit volunteers for this: Comfort the jet-lagged and trav- sources, and can be as lavish as a such as a brunch the morning after
mation) on an insert sent out with as chauffeurs, talk to the hotel parents, next of kin, and friends are el-weary with a little something left free massage at the hotel spa or as the ceremony (if you aren't already
your invitations, or post it separate- manager to arrange for a hotel likely targets. Put together a roster in their hotel rooms. Imagine their simple as a plate of homemade off to a magnificent honeymoon).
ly on your wedding itinerary or shuttle, hire a car or limo service, or of arrival times, and have trekkers delight – walking into their tempo- chocolate-chip cookies. The pur-
web page so guests can book their rent a few vans or a bus. greeted at the gate with signs bear- rary living quarters and discovering pose is to let guests know you ap- The above article was originally
flights and rooms early and know It's also a kind gesture to have ing their names (be sure to let a basket of fresh fruit, a bouquet of preciate their effort to join you for published on theknot.com
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Memories to last a lifetime…
6 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
Finding a Photographer for the Big Day
By Angela Bauer ly 35mm? If the photographer has only one standard
35mm camera and you want a poster-size portrait, you'll
electing a photographer to document your day want to find someone who can shoot in medium format
S of days is possibly the most important hire
you'll make. To find your shutterbug soul mate
who will make sure the trip down memory
lane is one you'll want to take over and over again, start
early and shop around. These eleven steps will help to
(the larger negative retains its crisp image at larger mag-
nifications than 35mm-or "small-format"-film). Make
sure he or she brings a backup set of equipment in case of
malfunction or other snafu.
6) EYEBALL THE EFFECTS
light your way. If you have your heart set on special effects -- fish-eye
1) SUIT YOUR STYLE lenses, infrared film, sepia-toned prints, handmade wed-
Before you start calling photographers, first decide ding albums -- be sure you see ample examples of the
which visual style suits you. Photographers fall into three photographer's technique. You don't want your prints to
general camps: photojournalists, traditional wedding be guinea pigs for his darkroom experimentation. Be
photographers, and those with a balanced bag of tricks. If sure the resulting look is not overdone (too artsy) or
you loved your sister's nuptial snapshots and most of barely there.
them are candid black-and-white action shots, you're 7) REVIEW REFERENCES
probably leaning toward a cameraman with a penchant Request two to three references for the two photogra-
for photojournalism. If you prefer portraits and posed phers you feel most strongly about. If a photographer is
shots, a traditionalist is for you. reluctant to give you a list of prior
Ambivalent? Can't agree? Seek clients, cross him off your list. Ask
out that special mix. the references if they would they
2) MEET & GREET recommend this person to their
Start compiling a list of candi- best friend. Why or why not? Was
dates by flipping through the the photographer on time, well
wedding albums of any friends or dressed, and completely profes-
family who have recently gotten sional throughout the event? Did
married. Other sources include guests have any comments – neg-
experts you've been working with ative or positive?
on other aspects of your wedding 8) CONFIRM THE COST
You’ve got the Perfect Flowers, the Perfect Dress and (wedding coordinator, caterers, Expect to spend at least $1500
etc.) and bridal shows, where you and easily up to $4000 on the
t h e P e r f e c t C a t e r e r s , w h y n o t h a v e t h e P e r f e c t S m i l e for can meet photographers in per- photographer. You're paying for
your Perfect Wedding? son and view their work. the cameraman's time at your
3) RUB THE RIGHT WAY wedding, plus all post-production
Don't underestimate the im- work, such as developing the
At Astoria Dental Arts we employ State of the Art technology to whiten, enhance portance of liking, if not bonding, prints -- by hand and one at a time
with your photographer. Some of in a traditional darkroom in some
or totally remake your smile. From white fillings to porcelain veneers the best shots of your main event cases – and assembling an album.
to one visit whitening, we can create the smile of your dreams will be those taken behind the Special effects and more time at
scenes, and you need to be com- the event will, of course, cost ex-
fortable about inviting him or her tra. If you're on a tight budget,
ñ Porcelain Laminate Veneers backstage. This person will also ask about the most basic package.
have a lot of contact with your 9) ASK ABOUT ONLINE
ñ One Visit Whitening family and friends, and in general Sharing photos on the Internet
ñ Invisible Braces (Invisalign) Bridal Party S be a very visible "guest" at your has become the norm. How does
ñ Implant Dentistry pecial wedding.
To get the best photos, he or
your photographer do it? Is he or
she partnered with a service that
ñ White Mercury Free Fillings Free Cosmetic C she has to be assertive enough to can post your wedding album on-
ñ Cosmetic Imaging (see how $100 Off In Offic nsultation and hunt for great moments, cajoling line? A lot of couples like this op-
e Whitening for enough to coax relaxed smiles tion because it allows you to
your smile will look before you do the entire Brida and natural stances from guests, share your entire album without
l Party and calm enough to be a positive force. He or she should carting around your proof book – and guests and family
the work) ask lots of questions and be a good listener. Trust your don't have to go through you to order prints. Alternative-
ñ Cosmetic Bonding gut: If anything about him or her rubs you the wrong ly, you could use one of the many free sites used to show-
way, keep looking. case pictures, like Flickr.com.
ñ 10 Year Written Warranty 4) CHOOSE WISELY 10) DOUBLE-CHECK
Seasoned wedding photographers have what's called THE DETAILS
a "book," a portfolio of their best work to show potential Many larger studios have several photographers on
clients. If a candidate doesn't have one, think twice – he staff. Since every professional has a different style, tech-
may be too wet behind the ears or too disorganized for nique, and personality, you need to make sure that the
the job. While browsing a book, look for crisp images, one you interview and "click" with will be the same one to
thoughtful compositions, and good lighting. Do the more work your wedding. Also, who shoots the event in case of
journalistic shots convey a sense of emotion? Do people an emergency or illness? Will the photographer have an
in the portraits look relaxed? Be sure he or she has pic- assistant? How many? How will the photographer and
tures from the time of day your wedding will take place. the assistants be dressed?
2 5 - 1 9 3 0 t h D r i v e , Astoria, NY 11102 ñ (718) 545-9600 Don't commit before examining a wedding album the 11) WRITE IT DOWN
photographer has conceived and created. You should get We know you know this, but we have to say it any-
Angelo A. Takos, D.D.S., F.A.G.D. a sense of the couple's personality and their wedding way: Get every detail in writing. Also important: Don't
style as well as who ranks on their VIP list. Ask about his sign anything if a studio claims it has the right to send
or her philosophy regarding wedding albums – bonus any staff photographer to your wedding and you feel un-
points for those who talk about every album being easy about even one person in their stable of photogra-
Get informed unique or how an album should "tell the story of your
5) TECHNICAL QUESTIONS
phers; if you sign, that's the one you'll inevitably get.
The above article was originally published on the-
www.thenationalherald.com Does he or she shoot in medium format, digital or on- knot.com
THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 7
Know What to Expect: A Traditional Reception Timeline
By Allison Micarelli mony, heading off (with photogra-
pher in tow) for pictures together
o you want your reception before the partying gets under way.
S to be the most talked
about of the century – but
don't know the first thing
about throwing a good party? The
crucial thing to scoring a fabulous
Your guests will head to the recep-
tion site for cocktails. Depending
on the logistics of the event, your
cocktail hour will begin immediate-
ly (if the ceremony and reception
wedding celebration is knowing are held at the same venue), or it
what's supposed to happen when. So might start more than half an hour
we've strung together a timeline later (if there's travel involved).
based on a traditional cocktail hour Cocktails will kick off your recep-
and a four-hour reception, common tion and will last for at least an
even in modern Greek weddings, to hour. During this time stationary or
give you an hour-by-hour guide to passed appetizers and drinks will
the day's post-ceremonial events. be served, which will get people
Get your stopwatches read – the re- mingling and in the mood. Don't
ception countdown is about to begin. forget: Greeting your guests is es-
sential! It's customary for the cou-
00:00 | THE COCKTAIL HOUR ple, along with their parents and
After being pronounced hus- the bridal party, to form a receiving
band and wife, the newlyweds of- line outside the ceremony site to
ten are the first to leave the cere- greet guests before the escape.
Many couples these days are opting – while all eyes are still on you and comes as a buffet. Just remember: that it's okay to leave soon there-
for this post-ceremony receiving most attentive, since hopefully no The bride and groom need to do after, be sure not to do this too ear-
line, rather than going from table one yet has had too much to drink – everything possible to take their ly or things could start wrapping up
to table during dinner; or doing to thank everyone en masse for tak- seats and eat! before you're ready.
both. But if you haven't done so, ing part in your wedding. A family
you should form one now. member, often a parent of the bride, 02:45 | PARTY TIME 04:15 | SHAKE A LEG
will say a blessing (depending on Monkey-see, monkey-do is how Once the cake is cut, the band or
01:00 | NEWLYWEDS’ the families' faiths). Then, since this game is played. Guests are go- DJ should start right back into
ARRIVAL\FIRST DANCE toasting signifies a transition in the ing to follow the lead of the bride swing and rock music for those
Here's the part where the bride course of an event, the mother and and groom. Once dinner dishes are wanting to trade in their slices for
and groom make their grand en- father of the bride will thank guests cleared, the newlyweds should be another turn on the dance floor.
trance. The coordinator usually for attending and invite everyone to the first ones on the dance floor so
will make sure guests are seated be- enjoy the celebratory meal. Keep in people know it's time to start party- 04:45 | LAST DANCE
fore the emcee alerts them to your mind that the toasts given by the ing. Throughout the jammin', the End your wedding on a high
imminent arrival. Generally, both best man and the maid of honor music will stop for any extracurric- note and choose a dance song that
sets of parents and the wedding should occur between courses, to ular activities you've planned (also will leave a lasting impression.
party are introduced, followed by spread out all the high-emotion, known as the bouquet toss, the You'll want everyone to have a
the announcement of the couple much-anticipated moments and garter toss, the centerpiece give- chance for one last twirl, so select
for the first time as husband and keep guests in their seats. aways, and whatever else you've something fast and festive.
wife. In many cases, your newly- dreamed up). If you do choose to
wed first dance will begin as you 01:30 | BRING ON THE FOOD toss the bouquet, make sure to get a 05:00 | FINAL FAREWELL
step out onto the floor and into the Time to dig into the main throwaway from the florist so you The time has finally come to say
spotlight after being announced. course. If you're having a seated can keep your original bouquet as a good-bye. Your coordinator will
Alternately, you can wait until after meal, the band will play subdued, memento. usher everyone into the foyer or on-
the first course of the meal is conversation-friendly background to the steps outdoors so that as you
served, but since everyone already music as the wait-staff makes the 04:00 | CAKE CUTTING make your grand exit from the re-
is cheering you as you enter the re- rounds. If you're having a buffet, About one hour before the con- ception, friends and family can
ception, use the applause as en- your coordinator or bandleader clusion of the reception, when the blow bubbles, light sparklers, or
couragement enough to skim away will dictate how the rotation will party starts getting a little too row- toss rose petals – and cheer to your
any shyness and step on out. work by calling each table when it's dy and the bar starts getting a little successful celebration and future
time to head to the front of the line. too empty, your waitstaff should together.
01:20 | CHEERS AND TOAST Some receptions will even have a start preparing tables for coffee and
Following your first dance, you mix, where appetizers and desserts dessert. Since the cutting of the The above article was originally
might want to take the opportunity are served, but the main course cake generally signals to guests published on theknot.com
8 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
he cutting of the wedding cake is of Styrofoam, which from what we can tell
T one of the most memorable mo-
ments of your big event. You
should, therefore, consider it a
whole different aspect from catering.
These guidelines will help you on your way.
The Hunt for the Perfect Wedding Cake certainly doesn't taste very good.
The last thing that magazines don't have
to think about is logistics. Our favorite
falsely advertised tidbit is the whole idea of
the mini-cake, where each guest gets his or
Before you begin your cake quest, in- her own little confection that doubles as a
quire whether your venue has certain regu- favor. Many bakers agree that this is a great
lations regarding wedding cakes. Some re- idea -- in theory but not in practice. Not on-
quire that you use particular bakers (in- ly does each cake require its own decora-
house or otherwise), while others may tion (often as intricate, if not more, than
charge a fee for using your own. one four times its size), each will require its
Next, find out if the cake designer meets own box. Unfortunately, boxes
the requirements of the local health depart- don't come in mini-cake sizes. Often the
ment. (Most reception sites will not allow a bakery must construct individual boxes in
baker without a license to serve cake on the which to transport these cakes. Multiply by
premises.) Ideally, you should start shop- however many guests you'll be having, and
ping for a cake designer at least four to six you'll see what a costly, time-consuming
months before the wedding – some of the feat this actually is – very different from the
country's best cake designers can be one, five, or ten little cakes that a magazine
booked a year in advance. If you have your might produce for a shoot.
hopes set on a marquee name, get on his or In the end, instead of finding something
her calendar as soon as possible. in print and aiming to replicate it in reality,
The price of wedding cake is generally choose elements of the cakes you love –
calculated per slice, or according to how la- shape, color, details – and let those ele-
bor-intensive the design is. Prices can ments simply inspire you, and your baker.
range from a few dollars to $15 per slice. Your cake designer will take it from there.
Consider your cake: Will it require numer- Once you've done your research and
ous layers? How many tiers? Do you want have a sense of cost and a rough idea of the
intricate designs, or something plain and type of cake you're looking for, meet with
simple? Will it require an engineering de- your top three favorite bakers in person to
gree to get it in the door? All of these things look at their portfolios. If you like what you
will affect the price of your cake. see, sample a few varieties they have on
Ask your cake baker to give you a sam- hand. Many vendors will bake a requested
ple of cake at room temperature – not just flavor specifically for you, but don't de-
out of the fridge. This way, you can make mand this until you've chosen your baker
sure the cake you choose will hold up after (and unless they offer, of course).
it has been sitting out for a while (cream Once you've chosen someone, start the
filling is fantastic, but it's not so tasty after inspiration process. Since the wedding
five hours on a counter). cake is a centerpiece for the whole recep-
When it comes to decoration, adorn- tion, you'll want yours to represent your
ment costs run the gamut. The most inex- wedding, from the inside (fillings) to the
pensive option is fresh fruits or flowers outside (icing and topper). Browse pictures
that, in some instances, can be applied by in magazines or online for inspiration and
your florist for a minimal fee. On the high- ideas, and make notes of things that are im-
end is gumpaste or sugarpaste flowers, portant to you or that you would like to try
which are handmade and extremely deli- to include. Everything from a tasty dessert
cate, painstakingly constructed one petal at you once had at a nice restaurant to Grand-
a time. But here's the bottom line: All add- ma's pecan pie can help you bring your
ons – including marzipan fruits, chocolate- dream cake to life.
molded flowers, and lace points – will raise Some bakers excel at taste but not at
the rate. construction, while others create master-
Shipping is going to be an issue too. pieces that aren't so palatable. Really good
Most bakers will want to deliver the cake bakers can do both, building a cake from
themselves, not trusting their masterpieces the best of both worlds. You'll want to be
in the hands of anyone else. They'll include able to sample a real wedding cake -- one
delivery cost in the price of the cake or with icing and other decoration – to ensure
charge an additional delivery fee. Either you'll be getting a cake that tastes as good
way, have your baker do the honors -- you'll as it looks.
be hard-pressed to find someone else with If you have your heart set on a specific
the same know-how and the right vehicle, taste sensation, ask whether the baker
specifically a refrigerated truck. (In other would be willing to work from a recipe. You
words, this would not be a good time to ask may want an unusual flavor, or maybe one
your cousin if she wouldn't mind picking that's not part of the roster – or perhaps
up the cake for you.) you'd like a re-creation of a confection that
If you're ordering a cake from a city oth- your grandmother made when you were a
er than where your wedding will take child. Just be sure to ask for a test-run so
place, things will get a little trickier and that there are no surprises.
more expensive. You'll want to be sure that The other thing to keep in mind is how
your baker has a sound way to transport well the cake is going to last throughout
your cake to your reception site (appropri- the wedding. For example, buttercream
ate boxes, packing materials, and so on), Finally, few people know about the cut- Yes, looking at beautiful pictures of cakes cakes looking perfect. These people spend frosting, while quite delicious, doesn't hold
and that the confection will be sufficiently ting fee. If you don't use an in-house baker, online or in magazines can be a delicious ex- hours fixing the sweating, dripping, lean- up well after sitting out – fondant is a much
insured in case of any mishaps. Some pro- some venues will charge a fee for the cake perience. But what happens in magazine- ing, or sagging that can happen to a cake better option for cakes that need to with-
fessionals will chose to buy the cake a cutting – from $1.50 to $3 a slice to divvy land doesn't always work in the real world. after a while, or under hot lights. And if stand heat, humidity, or a lifetime without
plane ticket (at your expense, so be sure to up the cake. When it's all totaled, this can Sadly, not all bakers can work the magic that what they do doesn't work, they can fix it refrigeration.
inquire about this when working out your cost a pretty penny – so be sure to check you see whipped up in photos. with PhotoShop. They also have the luxury
budget) and put it in a seat with the seat- with your reception manager or caterer be- Magazines have food stylists, editors, of creating cakes from stuff that isn't edible The above article was originally pub-
belt fastened (we're not kidding). fore finalizing the budget. and assistants working nonstop to keep the – most cakes in magazines are iced pieces lished on theknot.com
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THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 9
Dealing with Family and Friends
By M. A. Woodman if the couple and the families work Third, remember that no matter
WedAlert.com towards that goal-but how? Here what you do, people are responsi-
are some guidelines that may help ble for their own actions. There's al-
wo people fall in love you. ways a part of us that feels that if
T and decide to get mar-
ried, and that should be
it, right? You happily an-
nounce your engagement to your
respective families, who, if not
First, you and your fiancée have
some deciding to do between your-
selves. No, not about the wedding
arrangements – about what your
limits and attitudes are going to be.
we were different in some way, the
other person would behave better.
That may or may not be true – but
you are who you are and they are
who they are. In the end each indi-
wildly enthusiastic until now, have These should be very carefully dis- vidual is only responsible for them-
at least seemed neutral – and all of cussed between you two, privately, selves. If you have relatives or
a sudden, hell beaks loose! You right at the beginning of your en- friends that you feel have really
now find that everyone wants to in- gagement. They involve what is go- crossed the line, it may be neces-
terfere, everyone has an opinion, ing to be negotiable and what is sary to stand up for yourself. Do so
and everyone is creating havoc at not. Obviously, your marriage is not with the knowledge that it may
the worst possible time in your life. an area of negotiation – but details server ties with that person tem-
You're already dealing with the about the ceremony and other porarily or permanently, and de-
nerves, the doubts, the indecision, arrangements certainly should be. cide if it's worth it to. Unfortunate-
your unknown future and the Decide to be flexible and accommo- ly, there are people in this world
strain of preparations for the dating when you can! who are simply not worth the price
biggest moment in your life. Now Second, take the high road – it's it takes to get along with them.
everyone wants to misbehave? essential. It's difficult not to react to That's their responsibility, not
Remember that if you have to
take a stand to still take the high
road. There's a big difference be-
tween stating your case and stand-
ing up for yourself and reacting
with angry and hurtful words that
can come back to haunt you in the
Begin Your New Life
years to come. It's amazing how
one-sided people's memories can
be. Years later, they'll remember
“Sweet and Juicy”
that you reacted with anger, but
not the actions that led up to it.
So exactly how do you take the
high road, but still stand up for Your OTHER HALF’S well being is in your hands now.
yourself? You do that by stating Take charge. MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES...
your case but nothing else. That
means you are careful not to bring
in anything else in the discussion.
You talk about you, not about the Visit our Fruit Market for the best Fruits & Vegetables in town
other person. There is no room for
remarks like, "You always have to
have your own way" as much as
you would like to say that.
Take as an example a situation
where a relative is insisting on a
specific style of bridesmaid's dress-
es that you simply can't live with.
That's exactly what you say: "I sim-
ply can't live with those dresses."
What you do not follow up with is,
"I won't let you bully me," or "You're
always trying to get your own way."
Those last two sentences are the
things that will be remembered for
The first thing an engaged cou- remarks you consider rude, and years – so don't say them. It's a very
ple has to realize is that as far as your loved ones can make remarks hard thing to leave out, because
their families were concerned, that hurt your feelings-even though this is a naturally upsetting time for
when they were dating it was their that was not what they intended. you as well as them – but the effort
own affair, but when they became Your relatives are going through a is well worth it. The person you're
engaged it became their families af- painful time too – their initial reac- speaking to will still probably be
fair. Why? Because the couple is tions are very often "thinking out angry, but they'll get over it much
now planning to unite two families loud" rather than actually true. quicker, because you didn't criticize
who will now have to create new People do adjust. Many couples them! You simply stated that you
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children in the future, those chil- over time end up getting along there was no blame on anyone else.
dren will be the descendants of quite well. Develop a bad memory Most of all relax, relax, relax. It
both families. That's a different sit- and try to be "hard of listening" will be the hardest thing to do and
uation entirely! Now you have even for a little while. Your only the hardest lesson to learn but very
everyone in an uproar, and that's other choice is grudges among fam- much worth it in the long run. When you advertise in The National Herald
the way many families regard it! ily that may last for years, or a life-
Somehow, these things can be
resolved and usually are resolved,
time – do you want that? Is it worth
The above article was originally
published on Wedalert.com
Greek Americans pay attention
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10 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
f your reception is going to be meal later on.
I in a hotel, restaurant or other
facility that provides food,
you will need to select a meal
to serve your guests. Most of these fa-
Plan carefully and take care of
your catering/menu needs at least
nine months before your wedding
date. Make sure that you have “taste-
cilities will have a predetermined tested” your selections during the
menu from which to select your planning stage, checked on the avail-
meal. There are usually many differ- ability of special ingredients and any
ent menus to choose from and a special dietary needs of your guests.
range of prices. If your reception is BUFFET, SIT-DOWN MEAL,
going to be in a facility that does not OR FOOD STATIONS?
provide food, you will need to hire an A menu is chosen for your guests.
outside caterer. The caterer will be
responsible for preparing, cooking,
decorating and serving the food.
Again, there will be many different
choices of food and a range of prices.
There are many options available
as to the actual food service. Food can
Planning Tips The food is sure to satisfy each palate.
How should you serve the food to
your guests? It may depend on the
mood you want at your reception
and the expense of the technique.
Some reception venues may already
have a way of doing this but others
be served either buffet style or as a may leave it completely up to the
sit-down meal (see below). It should bride and groom.
be chosen according to the time of Some prefer a buffet style meal
day, year, and formality of the wed- while others prefer a sit down meal.
ding. Another thing to keep in mind Buffet style is usually less expensive
is the ages of the guests. If there are a then a sit down meal. A bride and
great many elderly individuals or groom may decide that they would
children, a sit-down dinner is usually like to serve their guests a full meal.
the better choice. Many family members and friends
Although there are many main may have traveled to come to this
dishes to choose from, chicken and event. You may consider it disap-
beef are the most popular selections pointing for them not to get a full
for a large event, followed closely by meal before leaving. Buffet style is
salmon. Ask your facility manager or much more relaxing and creative.
caterer for their specialty. If you have Guests can get food at the announced
a special type of food you would like time, choosing what they want from
to serve at your reception, select a fa- what they see.
cility or caterer who specializes in On the other hand, a sit down
preparing it. One of the new trends is meal may be more your style. This
to go totally ethnic, focusing on the way of presenting food is more for-
cuisine from a particular region or mal and elegant.Many times the
country. Many catering services even bride and groom may forget to eat
have the servers dress in the tradi- unless food is given to them. It comes
tional garb of that country. There are down to table service or self service.
many different things to consider If you are aware of dietary limita-
when hiring a caterer. One of the tions, make sure you compensate in
main things to do is check to see if the some way.
location for your reception provides If neither of these satisfies you,
refrigeration and cooking equip- then go for what is called food sta-
ment. If not, make sure your caterer tions. This is a unique, exciting and
is fully supported with portable re- interesting way of presenting food to
frigeration and heating equipment. your guests. It’s quite fun which will
A caterer may have to prepare add to the joy and the festivities of
much of the food in his/her own the reception. Each guest goes
kitchen and should provide an ade- around the room sampling different
quate staff of cooks, servers, and bar- foods from the stations. It’s a nice
tenders. Ask for references and look way to allow guests the option of
at photos from previous parties so choosing their own food and sitting
you know how the food will be pre- where they want. Some people may
sented. One word of caution: avoid already feel uncomfortable among a
mayonnaise, cream sauces, or cus- crowd of other guests they don’t
tard fillings if food must go without know. Put them at ease by letting
refrigeration for any length of time. them have options. Perhaps each
Be certain that soups and sauces are food station can have an ethnic food
kept at a steady temperature and not such as Spanish, Italian, Japanese,
allowed to cool in the center. Indian, Thai and, of course, Greek.
To keep your costs down, select Find a flavor or two that suits you
dishes that are not too time-consum- and that you haven’t been able to try.
ing to prepare, or food that does not If you are aware of some that live a
have expensive ingredients. If there is vegetarian lifestyle, then allow at
a certain something you cannot live least a few items on the menu for
without, ask if there is an equally their taste buds. However you pre-
tasty, yet less costly substitute. Also, sent the food at your wedding recep-
consider a brunch or early afternoon tion, make sure it’s appealing to all.
wedding so the reception will fall be- Seasonal food may be more tasty and
tween meals. This way it will allow satisfying.
you to serve hors d’ oeuvres instead
of a full meal. Another option would The above article was originally
be to tray pass hors d’ oeuvres during published on weddingstrategies.
cocktail hour, followed by a light com
THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 11
The 10 Most Common Wedding Mistakes
By Kate Wood the print on your invites. Or the best
man's boutonniere has a hint of ba-
rides are only human – by's breath where you'd specified
B and they're bound to
make mistakes. No big-
gie. But since we hear
about some common blunders all
the time, we figured why not give
berries. Let's face it, even the most
perfectly planned wedding is sure to
hit a few bumps along the way.
The solution: When you've
worked so hard for so many
you the heads-up? months on your wedding-day de-
tails, it can be hard to deal when
1) DOING ANYTHING...BEFORE you find a flaw among them. The
THE GUEST LIST key is that when you spot one,
The problem: You're engaged! you'll need to take a deep breath
You're excited! You're ready to send and think: "How important is this
out save-the-dates, book that recep- going to be to me in a year?" Not in
tion hall, choose those flowers – 10 years, not even in five, but in
now! Well hang on a second, be- one. Chances are, most mishaps
cause we're afraid you're forgetting that are causing you so much agita
something. Who's coming to this af- won't really matter to you once
fair, exactly? you're at your wedding (let alone
The solution: It's not the most fun after it). If it's a serious snarl, go
part of planning (and we'll be hon- ahead and deal with it. But if it's a
est, it's one of the most likely to lead minor mess-up, just move on. You
to a fight or two or twelve), but you can't give up all of your resources to
shouldn't make any wed-day deci- every little crisis. Pick your battles
sions before you have your guest list wisely and they will be better
somewhat firmly in place. Why, you fought.
ask? Well, do you want to have a
nonrefundable deposit down on that 9) BLOWING YOUR BUDGET
cozy restaurant room that fits 75 The problem: You came up with
when your mother-in-law's additions a number. You did some research.
bump your list up over 200? Exactly. You revised the number. You start-
Once everyone's in agreement, then ed planning ... and now that num-
you can move forward. That said, ber's not going to cut it. Budgeting
this means that one of the parts of for a wedding can be the stuff of
your wedding you can plan immedi- nuptial nightmares – but that does-
ately (or at least talk over with your n't mean you should elope.
fiancée) is what kind of atmosphere The solution: If you find you've
you'd like for your wedding. Do you underestimated some expenses,
want an intimate, close friends and don't panic. Instead, sit down with
family-only affair, or do you want to your fiancée and try to reach a con-
throw the event of the season for structive solution. Maybe you can
300-plus people? Later, when you're weds spend so much time personal- from it (just kidding). This doesn't and order it in your current size. If 7) OVERLOADING YOUR MOM'S give up an item or trade one for an-
in the guest-list trenches, this bit of izing their weddings and trying to have to mean yet another huge in- you want to work on your body BIG DAY TO-DO LIST other (for example, dahlias over
planning will help back up your gut find really unique big-day details vestment or reneging on a bunch of during your engagement, that's The problem: So you can't do it Black Magic roses saves about $4
instinct about whether to say yes (or that it does seem reasonable to freak contracts – you'll be surprised how great – go ahead, but be sure to all yourself – fine – but, you've got to per stem). If you're coming up short
no) to guest-list additions. if another couple chooses the same easy it is to make simple additions or make your goals are manageable have someone you trust double- overall, you may have to take on
favors or flowers or food. Before you subtractions and change your whole (toning up but not dropping 20 checking with the caterer and the some debt. To make it as minimal
2) READING ALOUD TO YOUR decide to arm-wrestle for it, let us style. Already ordered those pastel pounds, for instance). You're more florist, steaming your veil, or mak- as possible, consider obtaining a
FIANCÉE ... FROM BRIDAL suggest a different way of dealing. bridesmaid dresses? Think about likely to stick with a routine that ing sure the limo company's got di- low-interest loan or using a low-in-
MAGAZINES The solution: If someone else adding a bold sash or accessorizing doesn't require superhuman rections. Most brides turn to good ol' terest credit card. And to keep it
The problem: Look, we know it's "steals" one of your ideas, you'll with chandelier earrings to liven willpower. And if you still find that Mom (or their sister or their maid of from becoming a source of tension
not the Stone Age, and there are probably hear a lot of "Imitation is them up a bit. Unsure about the col- you are freaking about your figure, honor) to make sure things go as between the two of you, make a
plenty of guys out there who want to the sincerest form of flattery" and "It or scheme you chose? Pay an extra just remember that you're about to planned on the big day. These folks plan to deal with the debt and a
see their wedding as an event that will be at your wedding, not theirs, visit to your florist and work out get hitched to someone who can't are usually happy to help in any way deadline for paying it off so it won't
reflects their style too (or at least so it'll be totally different." Whether changes to your bouquets and cen- get enough of the way you look (re- they can – but hey, didn't they come hang over your heads.
one that isn't dripping with pink these statements are true or not terpieces – adding new blooms in all ally, truly) right now. here to party too?
froufrou). But there's likely to be a (they are), they're probably not go- of your arrangements will introduce If you do drop some weight, this The solution: No matter how 10) SAVING YOUR PLACE CARDS
limit to your fiancée’s ability to cope ing to make you feel better – but nei- a new color throughout the room. slow-and-steady approach will help worried you are, most wedding-day FOR THE MORNING OF
with an infinite array of invitation ther will stewing over it. Instead of Same thing if you've already or- you big time (and help you keep it (and day-before) chores can be The problem: Right now, it might
choices. Save his sanity (and yours) worrying about someone else's wed- dered the linens – spice them up off long-term). You'll want to lose trusted to any competent adult, and seem weird to have a basic sketch of
by designating one night a week as ding looking the same as yours, with bright table runners or over- those extra pounds before your sec- aren't there a slew of them coming your seating plan or all of your fa-
wedding-free. think about how you can make the lays. If you decide you really can't ond fitting – any big changes after into town just for your wedding? Be- vors tagged and ready to go. But
The solution: Here's how to copied detail different. If a friend live with it, chances are you can go that, and though you might be fore you hand your mom or MOH a other than taking up a little extra
defuse a potentially sticky situation chooses the same gown as you, add back on your first choice – just re- lighter, your alterations bill will be mega-task list, consider splitting space in your closet, they're not
(and a minefield of fights you don't details to make yours unique: Acces- member that it will have a cost. A pretty hefty. Your final fitting should jobs among a larger group of people causing any harm – and they will ac-
want to have). Take a night off to go sorize with a brooch, add a sash, ac- good rule of thumb is that if you've be for last-minute tweaks, not a total – friends, cousins, aunts. They'll be tually save you a ton of stress a
out to dinner and talk with him cent the train with some embroidery already signed a contract or seen a overhaul. glad to lend a hand (and likely flat- month or two down the line. The
about all the different parts of the (you get the idea). Has someone proof, you will have to pay extra for tered that you asked), and it's a closer the wedding gets, the busier
wedding, and try to get a concrete else swiped your fun favor idea? any changes or additions you make. 6) DOING IT ALL YOURSELF great way to include more people in you'll be, so making (and sticking
idea of his interest in the various de- Find a way you can package yours to But if it's still relatively early in your The problem: We love nothing your celebration. If you're worried to) your timeline is essential.
tails. Does it sound like flowers are set them apart. And if you're really planning process, don't be afraid to better than seeing the clever pro- about losing track, simply take the The solution: Worried you're
flowers in his book? Okay, then you that worried about copycats, here's a make the change. Remember, you're jects that couples come up with to to-do list you already have and note jumping ahead on the wedding
can more or less leave him out of thought – just keep mum. If you getting married to your husband, make their weddings unique. But who's who next to each task. Check planning timeline? Don't be. You're
that decision. And if he's cramming don't divulge every last big-day de- not your centerpieces. even we have to draw the line some- in with each person at some point, in the best possible situation. If
lettuce leaves in his ears to block tail, you won't have to worry about where. There's doing it yourself, and then check off the chore from the you're set on saving tasks until the
sound, you definitely don't want to your bride friends snatching them. 5) TRYING TO DROP TWO SIZES then there's overdoing it yourself. list. appointed time (rather than going
drag him into it. BEFORE YOUR FINAL FITTING After all, there are plenty of benefits Another option: Hire a profes- ahead and doing a little of this or
Moving forward, save his sanity 4) REALIZING THAT GRAPE ISN'T The problem: You've found the to DIY. You can be sure no one else sional wedding coordinator for the that when you've got the time), you
(and yours) by designating one YOUR COLOR ... WITH TWO gown of your dreams – though it's has the exact same thing, you might final weeks before the wedding. may wind up with way too much to
night a week as wedding-free. Talk MONTHS TO GO not exactly a perfect fit on the real- keep your budget in check, and (be- They're experts at making sure those accomplish in the last month (or
about the weather, your friends, the The problem: When you started life you. Your plan: Order the dress fore you actually sit down to hand- last-minute details get done, and week) before the wedding. That's
dog -- whatever you want. He'll be planning your wedding, you knew two sizes too small, and then do tie 200 tiny ribbons) you probably having the extra hands around will exactly the time when anything
psyched to see that the girl he fell in just what you wanted: pink brides- whatever it takes to make it fit. Or so think that it will make a fun story. help you (and mom) decide what (and everything) can happen, when
love with still lives there, and you'll maid dresses, peonies, and classic, you think. The solution: Rather than taking you really want to be in charge of everyone will have demands on
appreciate the breather yourself. engraved invites. Now that you've The solution: Making a commit- on too many projects, pick the one and what you can happily hand off. your time, and you'll – well, you'll
And who knows? Left to his own de- been hard at work for a few months, ment to eat right and exercise is (or two) that you're really in love It's more affordable than you might just want to take a hot bath and
vices, your fiancée just might sur- you know just what you want: jewel great whether you're planning your with and put your resources (both think -- and really, can you put a dream about your honeymoon. With
prise you with a great idea for your tones, orchids, and funky, bold in- wedding or trying to stave off the mental and monetary) into working price tag on alleviating that kind of check marks beside all your biggest
cocktail hour or the perfect solution vites. Too bad – you're stuck with the newlywed nine. On the other hand, on those. For the others, do a little stress? to-dos, you'll be able to relax and en-
to a guest-list dilemma. wedding style you first chose ... or crash-dieting and chaining yourself research and try to find a ready- joy your wedding – and the days
are you? to the StairMaster is a course likely made version that makes you happy. 8) CRYING OVER leading up to it. Make no mistake
3) FREAKING OUT BECAUSE The solution: You should feel free to end in disaster – and a gown that With so many great prefab goodies MISMATCHED LINENS about it.
SOMEONE ELSE to rethink, redo, and revamp any el- doesn't fit. out there, chances are you'll find one The problem: The place cards
HAS YOUR GOWN ement of your wedding that you Instead of losing more sleep that fits your style – and saves you a just came back from the printer, and The above article was originally
The problem: These days, to-be- want – unless you've accepted a ring than weight, find a gown you love whole lot of time! the color of the ink is a little off from published on theknot.com
Includes airfare and the finest deluxe hotels, most romantic islands, honeymoon extras.
12 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
By Judy Dutton
hen planning your Thirty Tips and Tricks No Bride Should Be Without hire a child care service to provide
day care either at the reception
space, in a hotel room, or in a fami-
W wedding, there are
things that are nice
to know, like that
trumpet skirts are all the rage or
nosegays are making a comeback.
6. LIGHTEN YOUR LIST.
The easiest way to trim your
budget? Cut your guest list. Re-
percent for miscellaneous items
like a wedding coordinator. It's es-
sential to allocate an extra 5-10
ly member's home. To prevent hurt
feelings, it's wise to avoid allowing
some families to bring children
while excluding others (unless, of
course, the children are in your
Then, there are things you need to member, half of your wedding percent of your money for surprise bridal party).
know – advice so essential that any expenses go to wining and din- expenses like printing extra invites
bride who's lucky enough to hear it ing your guests. If it's costing because of mistakes, additional tai- 17. PRIORITIZE
thinks, "I'm so glad someone told you $100 per person, eliminat- loring needs, umbrellas for a rainy YOUR PEOPLE.
me that!" If you're wondering ing one table of 10 can save you day, and ribbons for the wedding Pare down your guest list with
whether there's something you may $1,000. programs. Go to the "tiers of priority" trick. Place im-
have missed (or even if you've got TheKnot.com/budgeter for an in- mediate family, the bridal party,
everything under control), check 7. ASK AND YOU MIGHT teractive budget allows you to add and best friends on top of the list;
out our indispensable planning se- RECEIVE. your own items. follow with aunts, uncles, cousins,
crets. Request an extra hour for and close friends you couldn't
cocktails or for your band to 12. DON'T BE AFRAID TO BEG. imagine not being there. Under
1. GUESTS COME FIRST. throw in that Frank Sinatra With vendors, almost every- that, list your parents' friends,
Get a grip on the approximate sound-alike before you sign thing is negotiable. And it doesn't neighbors, coworkers, and so on. If
number of guests you'll invite be- on the dotted line. Most ven- even sound insulting. Just say, "I you need to make some cuts, start
fore settling on a venue. This will dors would rather secure the would love to have you, but my from the bottom until you reach
ensure there's ample space for your reservation than nickel-and- budget doesn't allow for this. Is your ideal number.
crew. As a rule of thumb, allow for dime you early on and turn there any way we can make this
25-30 square feet per guest. That you off. Later on, though, they work?" 18. TAKE IT ONE STEP
may seem like a lot, but it's not if may have less of a motive to AT A TIME.
you count the space you'll need for meet you halfway. 13. WAIT FOR A DATE. Put together a wedding plan-
the tables, bustling waiters, the Sometimes, last-minute plan- ning schedule and do things one by
band, and the dance floor. 8. MAKE A MEAL PLAN. ning can work in your favor. The one, in a logical order, so you don't
Another unforeseen expense? closer your date, the more bargain- take on too much too fast and end
2. INVESTIGATE BLACKOUT Feeding your wedding day crew. ing power you have. Since most up with everything snowballing
DATES. Before you sign the contracts, make people book their wedding sites at around you. Don't hire any vendors
Know ahead of time if your wed- sure you're not required to serve least six months in advance, calling before you've confirmed your date;
ding date falls on the same day as a the same meal to your vendors that for open dates two months prior to don't design your cake before
trade conference, charity walk, or guests will receive. Otherwise, you your desired time can save you up you've envisioned your flowers;
other local event that could affect could be paying for 20 additional to 25 percent. And, Friday and Sun- and don't book a band before
traffic and hotel room availability. lobster tails. Choose a less expen- day weddings should cost about 30 you've settled on a space.
Click here for wedding dates to sive (but equally hearty) meal for percent less than Saturday wed-
avoid. them instead. You will have to let dings. 19. NO RING, NO BRING?
your caterer know a couple of days If your guest list is bursting at
3. LISTEN TO before the wedding exactly how 14. MANAGE THE MAIL. the seams, assess the plus-one sce-
MOTHER NATURE. many vendors you need to feed Of course you want the perfect nario. Do a faux seating chart in
Heed the weather and other po- (don't forget photography assis- stamps for your wedding invita- your mind, and imagine whom
tential annoyances. Guests have tants and band roadies) and what tions. But not all stamps are widely your single pal would sit with. If it's
been known to skip out early from you want them to serve. available at every post office, espe- a table of singles that she knows
hotter-than-hot, summer tent wed- cially in large quantities. Save your- pretty well, then you're all set. If it's
dings and improperly heated win- 9. GET ORGANIZATIONALLY self scouting time by ordering them a table of couples (making the sin-
ter loft receptions. Bugs (gnats, FOCUSED. online at USPS.com. And be sure to gle one odd man out) or if it's a
deerflies, chiggers, and no-see- In a three-ring binder, compile weigh your invitation and all the table of singles where she won't
ums) also swarm in certain areas all your correspondences with ven- additional paper products before know anyone, consider bending the
during certain seasons. Consider dors; notes you make during meet- you send it out so you can attach rules. If asked why you're not al-
renting pest control tanks to allevi- ings; and photos or tear sheets the right amount of postage. Ask lowing single friends to bring
ate the problem or including bug from magazines you want vendors your stationer about the need for guests, size constraints or your par-
repellent in guests' gift bags. And if to see. Set up a special email ad- additional postage for odd-shaped ents' never-ending guest list are al-
you want a sunset ceremony, make dress dedicated to your wedding, envelopes. ways good fallback white lies.
sure you know when to say your and store important vendor num-
vows by checking bers in your cell phone. 15. PREPARE FOR REJECTION. 20. RELEASE ROOMS.
SunriseSunset.com. Know that as a rule, about 30 As soon as you have picked a
10. TEND TO YOUR BAR. percent of the people you invite date, start to look for hotels in a
4. CHECK YOUR CREDIT. Typically, you need one bar- won't attend. Naturally, this de- wide variety of price points. Many
Take advantage of the high cost tender per 50 guests to keep the pends on the location of your wed- hotels allow you to reserve rooms
of weddings and sign up for a cred- line at a minimum. But if you're ding (destination weddings are for guests under a special wedding
it card with a rewards program. serving a signature cocktail that harder to attend), how many out- block and a reduced rate. You can
Whether it gives you airline miles cannot be made ahead of time (or of-towners are on your list, and the then release any unbooked rooms a
or great shopping deals, consolidat- in large quantities), consider timing of the event (some guests month prior to your wedding. If the
ing all wedding-related purchases adding an extra server designated may have annual holiday or sum- hotels you contact insist upon con-
to this card will help you accumu- to this task. mer plans). On the other hand, tracts with cancellation penalties,
late thousands of rewards points everyone could accept – knowing just say no – you don't want to be
(which could be used for your hon- 11. LEAVE SOME ROOM your wedding will be the can't-miss responsible for rooms you can't fill.
eymoon). IN YOUR WALLET. party of the year!
Your wedding budget should 21. PROVIDE ACCURATE
5. PAY IT FORWARD. follow this formula: 48-50 percent 16. MAKE A UNIFORM KIDS DRIVING DIRECTIONS.
Let one vendor lead you to an- of total budget to reception; 8-10 POLICY. Make sure guests know where
other. Your photographer can tell percent for flowers; 8-10 percent You have four choices: you can they're going. As easy as online
you which florist's blooms really for attire; 8-10 percent for enter- welcome children with open arms; map programs are to use, some-
pop, and your reception manager tainment/music; 10-12 percent for you can decide to have an "adults times the directions are wrong – or
should know which band packs the photo/video; 2-3 percent for in- only" wedding; you can include im-
dance floor. vites; 2-3 percent for gifts; and 8 mediate family only; or, you can Continued on page 14
THE NATIONAL HERALD,MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 13
By Miles Stiverson nothing wrong with getting glam-
orous for your wedding, your
e're not selling groom doesn't want you to change
W grooms short: There
are a lot of guys who
your look so much that he doesn't
recognize the girl who's walking
down the aisle. He fell in love with
my feelings" as a forte, and who are
engaged in the drama of a seating
chart. Communication is a corner-
stone of any good relationship, but
the high tension, strange customs,
you seeing you every day, so re-
mind him of that with hair and
makeup that are distinctly you.
"MY FRIENDS AREN'T D-CLASS
and unfamiliar etiquette that come CITIZENS."
with planning a wedding can leave Just because you might not like
some guys speechless, and many one (or a few) of his friends, does-
brides aggravated. Here's what he n't mean you can seat them in
really wants you to know, and how Siberia during the reception. If you
to handle it, without even having to stick a table of his buddies in a cor-
ask. ner while your friends have a prime
spot near the dance floor, they will
"YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT notice, and they'll probably wonder
I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR." why they got the short end of the
You might expect him to plan seating chart.
the honeymoon, and might hope Relationship Rx: Make a game
for a present on the morning of the plan for your reception seating that
wedding, but does he know what a follows logic more than favoritism.
groom traditionally takes care of? Give close family and attendants
Unless he's been sneaking a peek at the best seats in the house, and
your bridal magazines, he might be arrange tables from there. If you
totally unaware that he has any re- have to put a group of his friends
sponsibilities after he proposes. toward the back, show there's no ill
And if he's among the first of his will by seating your friends in a
friends to get married, he probably similar position.
doesn't have anyone dishing these
valuable tips to him. "DON'T ASK FOR MY OPINION IF
Relationship Rx: Telling your YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO
groom what you expect of him is HEAR IT."
not poor etiquette – it's necessary, With so many tough planning
and he'll welcome the guidance. If decisions to be made, it's natural to
you're not comfortable filling him second guess yourself and seek out
in on some of the details (like the your groom's opinion. And that's
bride's gift, for example), ask one of fine, but not if you're asking him
your bridesmaids to bring it up so only to reinforce something you've
that he gets the hint (and so you basically already decided. If he tells
don't get mad). you his thoughts (the ones that dis-
agree with you), your response BOW TIE." dure the wedding day with a hang- of many a bride who has suggested sacred.
"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT shouldn't be along the lines of, "Are Dreaming of a perfectly coordi- over. a particular cigar bar or offered up To give suggestions, let alone
NAPKINS WILL GO BEST WITH you serious?" nated wedding party? Think he'd her parents' vacation home for the put boundaries on the party, im-
OUR LINENS, BUT THAT DOES Relationship Rx: Turn to him look handsome in a classic, full- "THE BACHELOR PARTY festivities. plies that you don't trust him,
NOT MEAN I DON'T CARE." when you're really torn about a dress tailcoat tux? Make sugges- IS OFF-LIMITS." Relationship Rx: Be careful which is a shaky way to start a mar-
You mention how you'd like choice, and he'll gladly give his in- tions about the formalwear, but let You've had a hand in every as- how you tread when it comes to his riage. By showing him that you
your bouquet to match his bouton- put. When you know exactly what him choose his own attire. You pect of planning the wedding – so bachelor party – though it may trust him completely, he'll be re-
niere, and his eyes glaze over. You you want, however, go with your don't want to look at your photos why shouldn't you have a say in his seem like an immature tradition to minded again why you're the per-
show him a motif you're going to gut rather than put him in a posi- years later and see him cringe at his night out with the guys? We know you, for some guys it's practically fect bride.
add to all your stationery, and he tion to pick an option you would white linen wedding suit (that was
responds with a shrug. It's tempting never really consider. your pick, naturally).
to interpret reactions like these as Relationship Rx: Although
disinterest in your wedding (and, "LET ME DECIDE WHICH PARTS your fashion sense might be on-
in turn, your relationship), but I WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN – point, what matters most is that
don't be so quick to pounce. THEN MAYBE I'LL DO MORE!" he's comfortable in his formalwear.
Relationship Rx: Even if your Getting your groom to attend Just like you wouldn't want to wear
groom doesn't have strong feelings the cake-tasting is a cinch. And he'll a gown you consider unflattering,
about the decor, he wants the wed- probably be up for choosing your he shouldn't wear an outfit that he
ding to look good just as much as playlist. But shove a binder of sam- feels doesn't fit right.
you do. His mild interest in the de- ple invites in front of him and he'll
tails doesn't mean he doesn't care be thinking of nothing other than "DON'T GIVE ME A CURFEW THE
about the wedding – it means he an exit strategy. NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING."
trusts your tastes. Ask him specific Relationship Rx: Your powers The rehearsal dinner often
questions, like "Which flower do of persuasion may be exceptional, segues into a late-night party. If he's
you like better?" and you're more but wedding planning is a whole having a great time, you're liable to
likely to get a direct response. new terrain. Involve him in the de- put a damper on things if you insist
tails you know he'll enjoy, but don't he turn in before midnight.
"I WANT YOU TO LOOK LIKE force it or his instinct might be to Relationship Rx Despite what he
YOU." resist. Instead, let him know about does the night before, you can rest
Every bride wants to look her some of the less interesting tasks assured he'll show up for the wed-
best for her wedding, but some risk piled on your plate, and he'll be ding... and that he'll arrive on time.
changing their style too dramatical- more willing to offer his assistance If you're really concerned, ask his
ly with heavy makeup, big hair, and if he sees you're stressed. most responsible groomsman to
too many accessories. keep an eye on him, and to remind
Relationship Rx: While there's "I'M NOT WEARING A SAILBOAT him that he wouldn't want to en-
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14 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
Thirty Tips and
et Tricks No Bride
& B nt Should Be
Continued from page 12
there's a quicker, less traffic-prone
route to take. Ask your ceremony
and reception sites for printouts of
PANATHENIAN BANQUET HALL recommended driving directions,
which they often keep in stock for
AND BAR weddings and will give to you for
free, and test out the routes your-
ñ Only A d e l p h i a can combine fine dining services 22. KEEP A PAPER TRAIL.
with nightly entertainment in the best location Get any nonstandard changes to
your agreements in writing or send
in Central Jersey. the vendor a confirmation email
saying, "Hello, just confirming that
you'll keep the venue open until 2
ñ Chefs from all around the world have helped a.m. versus midnight." Don't take
anyone on his word – by the time
in developing a menu that provides Greek, the big day rolls around, your con-
tact may no longer be working
American, Mexican and any other international there to vouch for you.
cuisines. We are willing to make any foods that 23. SCHEDULE THE SETUP.
aren’t on the menu. You must make sure there's am-
ple time for setup. If you're renting
a venue and bringing in outside
help, ask, "What time can people
ñ The P A N A T H E N I A N Ballroom which seats come in to set things up?" Preston
500 people provides the perfect atmosphere Bailey, author of Preston Bailey's
Fantasy Weddings, recommends
for casual dining or banquets. seeing if they can do it the day be-
fore, or at the very least the entire
wedding day, before the event
ñ Have your Wedding Reception, Bridal starts.
or Christening Party at Adelphia’s. 24. LEARN ABOUT MARRIAGE
You can check your state's li-
ñ Organizers of concerts. cense requirements online, but
confirm with a call to the county
clerk's office to see when they're
ñ Call for reservations and ask for Evelyn. open. Even if it's open from 9 a.m.-
5 p.m., they may issue marriage li-
censes only during slower times
like, say, Thursdays from 2 p.m.-3
p.m. Give a copy of your marriage
license to your mom or your maid
of honor (just in case you lose yours
during the final days before your
1750 Clements-Bridge RD, 25. GO OVER GROUND RULES.
Be prepared! Ask the manager
Deptford, NJ 08096 of the house of worship or site
where you will be married for the
856-845-8200 list of restrictions (if any). For in-
stance, are flash photography or
www.adelphiarestaurant.com bare shoulders prohibited? Or, if
you're exchanging vows outdoors,
are you allowed to plant tent stakes
in the lawn (which is often a no-
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. It is wholesome and bracing for the mind to have its faculties kept on the stretch. 26. CLASSIFY YOUR CASH.
Sir Richard Steele 1672-1729, British Dramatist, Essayist, Editor Wedding budgets are all about
Exercise your mind... balance. Start your budget plan-
ning by making a list of the crucial
The National Herald Bookstore ñ (718) 784-5255 ñ firstname.lastname@example.org details, like the music, your wed-
ding gown, the invitations, the
flowers, and the photographer, and
assign a number to each – one be-
ing the most important and three
being the least. Invest your money
in all your number ones and cut
corners on your number threes.
(But everything can't fall into the
number one category!) For exam-
ple, if a designer gown and fabu-
lous food are what really matter,
you may have to choose simple in-
vitations and smaller floral
27. HELP GUESTS PAY
Make sure your guests can see --
and hear. If people are seated far-
ther than 15 rows back from your
ceremony altar or podium, consid-
er renting a mic and a riser. This
could range anywhere from $50-
$100, depending on the equipment
used. You'll need to coordinate the
delivery and setup with your cere-
mony space, so put your wedding
planner or best man in charge of
28. WRITE DOWN YOUR DIGITS.
Carry an emergency contact
sheet on your wedding day. Keep
the paper with names and phone
numbers of all your vendors in your
purse – it may come in handy in
case your limo driver gets lost or
you decide you'd like your photog-
rapher to take some behind-the-
29. CALL THE FASHION POLICE.
Don't go dress shopping on your
own – all the gowns will start to
look the same after a while and it
will be harder to recall which style
you really loved. But be careful
about who you do bring. If your
mom or sibling can't make the trip,
ask a friend who is truly honest.
This is the time when you really
need to know which dress looks
30. BE REALISTIC WITH YOUR
When it comes down to the last
month of your planning (and when
you're particularly harried) look at
your mile long to-do list and cut
three things. Yes, cut three things.
Not crucial things that you just
don't feel like doing, such as pick-
ing a processional song or confirm-
ing final details with all of your
Eliminate only the over-the-top
tasks like hand-painting "Just Mar-
ried" signs, or baking cookies for all
of the welcome bags. Make a
pledge to not think about them
WWW.CARLYLEONTHEGREEN.NET ever again.
The above article was originally
published on theknot.com
THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 15
History of the Koufeta
By Jon Price
with additional material
by Sara Macy and
One of the most common, tradi-
tional wedding favor candies used
today is the Jordan Almond. Jordan
Almonds as wedding favors is a tra-
dition over 3,000 years old in
Greek, Middle Eastern, French and
Italian weddings. The Jordan Al-
mond wedding favors are given
many names depending on the cul-
ture in which they are referred to.
In English, the term “Italian confet-
ti” is the most commonly used. For
the origin of Jordan Almonds as
wedding favors, we must look back
to the ancient Romans, who cele-
brated births and marriages with
the distant ancestors of today's con-
Until the Renaissance they – and
other sweets – were sweetened by
the use of honey. With the arrival of
sugar from the Orient, the Me-
dieval Italian apothecaries devel-
oped the "sugarcoated pill." The
ability to heal was soon associated
with the sugar coating. Soon after-
ward, Confetti fiori, or floral candy
was developed by the nuns of the
Santa Chirara convent in Sulmona
in the Renaissance era.
During the Renaissance, Jordan
Almonds wasn’t just used for cere-
monial purposes; they were real
sweetmeats made of candied fruits,
or more specifically, with almonds,
dried fruits, aromatic seeds, hazel- her wedding day by her intended, self – sweet for the good times, bitter in the bag, representing the joy of a lar. The five Jordan Almonds pieces are covered with sugar without the
nuts, pine nuts or cinnamon, cov- Demophon. Phyllis waited for years for the bad times – the candies are girl for the firstborn child. are presented to each wedding addition of starch which would
ered with a hard coating of sugar. for him to return, but finally died of more sweet than bitter on account As a further custom, single guest, and they represent the same make them heavy and affect the fla-
Not only were they served at wed- a broken heart. In sympathy, the of the sugar-coating, infusing the women are to take the candies five traits as the Italian version. In vor. After having been peeled in a
ding banquets, but also at many im- gods transformed Phyllis into an al- hope that the married couple’s life home and place them under their the Middle Eastern wedding cul- special machine, the almonds are
portant meals. mond tree, which became a symbol will see more ups than downs. pillow. The sweetness of the candy ture, the candy covered almonds put in large rotating basins: lique-
Through the course of history, of hope. When the errant, remorse- In Greek tradition, the wedding will allow them to dream of the are considered aphrodisiacs and fied sugar is poured in gradually in
their presence in important events ful Demonphon returned to find favors normally come in a white man they will marry. are always on hand. order to lightly coat the almonds.
expanded throughout various re- Phyllis as a leafless, flowerless tree, bag (a bonbonniere), tied with a When it comes to Italian wed- Although time has progressed, At the end of the day, the almonds
gions and cultures, and became he embraced the tree. The tree sud- satin drawstring, are filled with an dings, guests are given five Jordan and technology has advanced; the must rest until the next morning
known as a celebratory item. As the denly burst into bloom, a demon- odd number of white koufetes. The Almonds. The number five repre- creation of Jordan Almonds retains when operations resume.
sweet itself evolved over time, it re- stration of love not conquered by odd number is indivisible, and sym- sents five wedding wishes: health, some of its old-world splendor to The artisan production of Jor-
mained representative of para- death. As such, the almond came to bolizes how the husband and wife wealth, happiness, fertility and this day. Workers produce the little dan Almonds remains a labor of
mount occasions: from commu- represent immortal love and im- will share everything and remain longevity.. They can be bundled in sweets on machines that recall the love requiring constant attention to
nions, to confirmations, to baptisms. petuous youth. undivided. The white symbolizes tulle and personalized with the past. They are made through a detail. The result is a confection be-
In Greek mythology, legend tells Called koufeta in Greek, the bite- purity; the shape of the almond meaning and the couple's name four-day-long process that will nev- yond compare, and the continua-
of the beautiful princess Phyllis, sized candies are prevalent in Greek symbolizes never-ending love. In and wedding date. er be completely industrialized. tion of a centuries-old wedding tra-
who was left waiting at the altar on weddings. Said to represent life it- some cases, a single pink koufeta is Middle Eastern custom is simi- First, the centers of the almonds dition.
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dream event to remember without breaking the bank. Ask him
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We design packages to suit your style & budget tions.
We specialize in high quality, el- Once you've explained to your
egant sugared almond favors. sweetie what's making you feel so
These are beautiful flowers bad and you've talked through
some options together, take con-
fashioned from koufeta and tulle. Also, specially pocketed-ribbon and koufe-
ta you can buy to make your own flower favors Act on your decision to cut costs
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Reward yourself by taking a
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and focusing on some serious play.
And whatever you do, don't feel
guilty about indulging yourself for
THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008 Greek Wedding 2008 17
you enjoy being in their space? A good floral designer lavender and calla lily, pristine lily-of-the-valley paired
Love in Full Bloom
understands display, presentation and scale. Pictures with bay leaves, or the perfect gardenia. For mothers
in their portfolio should inspire, mutually generating and honored women, romance is in vogue: diminutive
ideas. Ask about the rentals they provide, as many nosegay bouquets in silver Victorian holders, a simple
have large prop closets filled with arches, chuppahs, but elegant single rose and, of course, the always femi-
and vases of every size, shape, and style. nine wrist corsage.
With your designer selected, the creative process Finishing Touches: What better way to tie-in your
begins. Supply your floral designer with as much detail cake with the rest of your wedding, than with a floral
as possible. Let them know the particulars: wedding cake topper? Echoing your floral choices of bouquet
date, time of day, style of wedding (formal or infor- and centerpiece, the cake topper is the perfect state-
mal), ceremony and reception locations, linens, and a ment on your delectable dessert. If the budget allows,
general idea of your budget. consider adding a few more finishing touches. Sprinkle
Be Prepared: How to express exactly what you petals on serving trays and weave garlands along buf-
want when you don't know the particular names of fet stations. Finally, do not forget the loveliness of
flowers? Pictures, pictures, pictures. Before your first greenery and plants. Ficus trees wrapped with twin-
initial consultation, gather as much visual detail as kling lights and magnificent potted palms add dimen-
possible. The more pictures and magazine clippings sion to all venues.
you provide, the easier it is for the designer to create Wedding flowers are steeped in symbolism, tradi-
your special look. Snapshots of your venue, along with tion and meaning. Use this opportunity to share your
items you would like flowers to accentuate (from your love and sentiments. Be prepared for the compliments
hair to the Rolls-Royce) are all essentials. Swatches to follow.
from table linens and the wedding party wardrobe
(mothers', bridesmaid', flowergirls' and your own The above article was originally published on
gown) are always a big help. Don't be afraid to bring aboutweddings.com
pictures of completely different arrangements and
bouquets that grab your attention. A good designer
will help you identify, focus and incorporate elements.
Time-Of-Day: Chosen wisely your floral arrange-
ments should last throughout the day. Some flowers
hold up beautifully in the sun; others are better suited
for indoors. Let your designer know exactly the time
and month your wedding is taking place. A good de-
signer will advise you on what flowers remain perky
and perfect under the palm trees, and which wilt be-
fore the wedding reception.
The Bouquet: The star of all your floral choices is
your bouquet. Understand bouquets come in all shapes
and sizes. From petite nosegays to showering cascades,
realize the size and style you select will affect your
overall look. First pick a bouquet style that suits your
height, frame, and gown. Then combine different blos-
soms of varying shapes and size, or compose a delicate
bouquet of one type of flower. From timeless white, to
rich, jewel-toned shades of reds and purples to exotic
tropical stems, the selections and combinations are
Ceremony Location: Before making decisions re-
garding ceremony florals, check with your venue for
possible restrictions. Some churches request that altar
arrangements remain on-site for weekend services. A
cost saving tip: determine if your ceremony flowers
can be repurposed for your reception. Ceremony
arrangements are ideal for buffet tables, and aisle
flowers can be used to decorate powder rooms, stair-
cases and small hallway tables. Using these items twice
helps maximize your budget.
Reception Location: Your reception location is a
big influence in determining your floral design needs.
High ceiling venues call for bolder, more dramatic
arrangements, while an outdoor venue can be accent-
ed with rustic, potted and flowering blooms. Let your
floral designer know the size of your reception equip-
ment (dining tables, place card tables etc) during your
initial consultation so the scale of your arrangements
will be perfectly balanced.
Centerpieces: The options are many: elegant vases
filled with cut flowers, towering candelabras, potted
orchids and detailed topiaries are magnificent design
statements. Clusters of smaller arrangements or scat-
tered rose petals around densely packed votives are
rom boutonniere to bouquet, flowers set the wedding day. dual centerpiece and favor options. Except for the "14
F stage and carry your wedding theme from cer-
emony to reception.
Perfect roses, plump peonies and precious daisies
Do not be intimidated if you don't know the differ-
ence between an orchid and a lily. A patient and cre-
ative floral designer will help you identify your wed-
inch rule" dictating that centerpieces should never ob-
scure guests' vision across the table, there are no hard
and fast rules. Mix, match and think "outside the box."
have won many a bride's heart. Bountiful and beauti- ding style. When interviewing a floral designer observe Personal Flowers: In addition to bouquets and
ful, flowers express your wedding palette like no other. their use of color, texture, and overall flair. Share your arrangements you'll need to select personal flowers.
From ceremony to centerpiece, flowers are the consis- ideas and your vision, and be open to their sugges- The ever-forgotten groom is taking a larger role in se-
tent visual element linking all the activities of your tions. Examine a designer's portfolio at their studio. Do lecting boutonniere styles. Popular combinations are
18 Greek Wedding 2008 THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 22, 2008
No matter which location you choose, our utmost
attention will be focused on you and your guests
Book your wedding at either location & enjoy a
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