If you're reading this I'm guessing three things are true:
1) You're terrified about what people think of you, and it's stopping you
from starting conversations or making friends... and is making your life
miserable
2) Whenever you try talking to people they immediately act bored or
indifferent, and basically ignore you the minute anyone else enters the
room, anyone else starts talking, or even when someone texts them.
3) You don't know what to say to start conversations, or how to keep a
conversation going, or how to make friends and take things past the
"acquaintances" stage to the point where someone actually wants to be
friends with you.
So how come other people know how to make friends with anyone they want,
but no matter what you have hard time making just ONE FRIEND?
I'd like to show you a few rules to making friends and connecting with
people that will transform your social life forever.
1. As humans, our DNA is 99.9% identical according to scientists.
What this means is that we're all "wired" pretty much the same, and if
you learn how to make friends with one person, you can easily repeat the
process over and over and make anyone you meet like you instantly.
What this also means is that you can put the process of making friends
and building friendships into a simple formula, then use that formula
over and over to build social skills around, and build a vast network of
social groups and friends.
If want definitive proof of this, look at the people you know who are
popular, and notice they're almost universally liked by everyone they
meet, no matter where they go, or who they're talking to.
Now, notice that you universally get a bad reaction from pretty much
everyone you meet... it's because you're not following this social
formula.
2. Most advice on how to make friends doesn't actually show you how to
make friends
I know you've heard all the "join a club", "start conversations" and
"just be yourself", and all the "positive" and upbeat qualities that
people want in a friend... none of them ever seem to mention your SOCIAL
SKILLS, or tell you that you need to work on your social skills or your
personality.
In fact, let me ask you a question:
What are social skills?
Do you even know?
What is the difference between good and bad social skills?
Can you go beyond words like saying someone's "outgoing" and
"interesting" and actually explain what social skills ARE?
Here's where 99% of advice on how to make friends goes wrong.
Just because you put yourself in a place where people are doesn't mean
these people are going to LIKE YOU.
Let me share a personal experience of mine:
In high school, I joined an Ultimate Frisbee club to try to and make
friends... I wasn't athletic, I was shy and had terrible social anxiety,
but I "put myself out there" and went to interact with people.
Here's what happened using conventional advice on how to make friends in
a real world situation:
I joined a club and was too shy and scared to talk to anyone, I was just
being myself and tried starting conversations and put myself out there, I
got ignored and rejected because my personality wasn't interesting
enough... long story short, I was the awkward loser who wound up
embarrassing myself and wasting my valuable time putting myself in a
situation I didn't feel comfortable in in the first place, and I got
NOTHING out of it but more rejection.
If you want to succeed, you've got to know how to have an INTERESTING
PERSONALITY.
Think of it like a car mechanic, you could put yourself out there and try
to fix a car, but unless you know how to do it you're going to fail
miserably and get NOWHERE... that advice certainly didn't teach me
anything useful about how to make friends
Which brings me to point #3:
You've GOT to be INTERESTING.
But let's start with the basics:
What does "interesting" mean?
By definition, it means arousing a FEELING of interest.
You get people interested in something by arousing their FEELINGS.
Think about why you watch movies or listen to music.
You do it for the FEELINGS.
Pretend you're a song:
How do you make people FEEL when they're listening to you?
Do they get immediately drawn in by your conversation and your message?
Or do they skip right by you to something that makes them FEEL more
interested?
We have a part of our brain called the amygdala, it is responsible for
how we FEEL, and if you can learn how to make people feel a certain way
just by talking to them, you can easily make as many friends as you want.
Now, how to make friends and be interesting is a REALL LONG and in-depth
topic, but that's the basics of it.
However, in order to have an interesting personality, you must do one
CRITICAL thing first:
3. You MUST eliminate your social anxiety and fears before you can learn
how to make friends.
I can tell you all the lines or social advice in the world, but if you
don't have the confidence to bring any of it outside your head into the
real world, NONE of the advice I can give you is EVER going to matter.
You must become comfortable in your own skin, develop confidence in your
personality, and be comfortable saying and doing the things that are
truly representative of you BEING YOURSELF before you can even start
learning how to make friends.
If you can't even start conversations or talk to people because of fear
of rejection and being scared that you'll never be good enough, all the
advice about how to make friends, start conversations and meet people
won't help you.
Until you learn how to eliminate your social anxiety (which is the one
part of developing social skills that 99% of people can NEVER tell you
anything about), you're not going to be able to make friends for as long
as you live.
There's a LOT more detail to this subject, and I'd like to share some of
my best information with you absolutely free.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, and there's a LOT more detail than
what I've explained here, if you'd like to learn how to make friends
step-by-step, visit my website for TONS of free articles and a free 55
page eBook, that will teach you EVERYTHING you need to know about how to
make friends, start conversations, eliminate social anxiety step-by-step,
and the psychologically proven science of how to make people want to be
friends with you.