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					Nearly all of us have heard about abusive relationships. Some of us who
are less fortunate might even have lived through a few ourselves. But the
hard and cruel fact of life is that abusive relationships are a reality
that we cannot wish away. No matter how bold the measures adopted by the
state functionaries might be or how compelling the advertising campaigns
centered around abusive relationships may be, they are not something that
is likely to go away or even be wished away. They are an ugly reality
that take a toll not just on the perpetrator and the victim, but also
everyone else who happens to be a part of the equation.

A recent study by the department dealing with juvenile delinquency found
that nearly 80% of teenage offenders came from families where abusive
relationships were common. Imagine that! Eighty percent is not an errant
statistic. It is practically the whole group. If one were to use this
study, it would be really easy to conclude that everyone, or rather every
child who has been in a household with abusive relationships, is sure to
become a juvenile delinquent! Worrying as this sounds, what makes it
really scary is the fact that it is the truth. And frankly, nothing much
is being done to change the situation.

Why exactly do abusive relationships take root? And how can they be
rooted out? In order to answer these questions, it is necessary to
understand the nature of abusive relationships in the first place. Not
all abusive relationships begin because the perpetrators are evil, wicked
people who want to hurt others. In fact, the opposite may very well be
true. Most abusers in abusive relationships are people who themselves
have some sort of deficiency, which they try to equalize or even out
through the use of force to dominate others. As is usually the case, this
kind of force tends to harm others more than it heals them. Which is what
leads to abusive relationships.

Psychologists and mental health professionals have studied abusive
relationships for a very long time. And without exception, they have all
found one common thread that runs through. Most abusers are otherwise
charming people who often carry the burden of their deviant behavior with
them in the form of lifelong guilt. And the reasons they indulge in abuse
is because they don’t know how to deal with this guilt. Each episode of
abuse is followed by an episode of genuine remorse which is then evened
out by another episode of abuse. In a manner of speaking, it is a vicious
cycle that they find themselves in and one for which they need help in
order to overcome.

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Maggie Mills Maggie Mills Owner