Reaching Out to Asia

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Southern Yarn
                                                                                                                                          January 2005

            NEWSLETTER                       OF      THE    D O W N          U N D E R          CLUB         OF     WINNIPEG               INC.

downundercalendar                          2 0 0 5

  Saturday January 29, 7:00 pm
  Australia Day / Waitangi Day
  Kenaston Recreation Centre
  516 Kenaston Rd
  The Australia Day / Waitangi Day function will
  stage a no holds barred, first ever, Australia
  vs New Zealand Pavlova bake-off. Everyone is
  welcome and encouraged to produce an
  entry. There will be a “blind” taste format, and
  you can rate your favourites without knowing
  the origin. We have lined up the judges, the
  cutlery, the plates and the venue. Just need
  you to bring the guests of honour. And                   Hands across the sea ... surfers at Bondi Beach remember those killed in the Indian Ocean tsunami.
  remember, every pavlova is a good pavlova –                                                                                      SMH Photo: James Alcock
  enjoy yourself! Be prepared to test your
  home-grown knowledge and mark these
                                                       Reaching Out to Asia
  important days in our respective countries.          [Sydney Morning Herald and the New                        New Zealand has doubled its cash contri-
                                                       Zealand Herald]                                       bution in disaster relief to $10 million, in
  FEBRUARY                                                                                                   addition to other assistance. According to PM
  Bingo Bowling                                        Weekend of mourning                                   Helen Clark: “New Zealand is a pretty small
  Saturday March 19                                            ustralia and New Zealand marked a             niche player in this. So we have to work out
  Mark this date in your calendar. Bingo
  Bowling is one of the most fun events in our
  year. Invite your friends, family, neighbours
                                                       A       national day of mourning with a week-
                                                               end of religious observance dedicated
                                                       to the disaster. The Prime Ministers of each
                                                                                                             what is the best way of us making a contribu-
                                                                                                             tion. World Vision NZ’s tsunami appeal
                                                                                                             reached $2.04m today after receiving a big
  and colleagues. No experience necessary –            country invited everyone to mark Sunday,              boost from text message donations from
  this event is fun for everyone! All details will     January 16 – or another day on that weekend           mobile phones. In only the first day the serv-
  be included in the February Yarn.                    appropriate to their faith – as a national day        ice became available, more than 6,500
                                                       of mourning and reflection for tsunami vic-           mobile subscribers used the text service to
                                                       tims. There will be a minute’s silence at 1.59        make a $3 donation, raising nearly $20,000
                                                       pm in NZ and earlier in Australia, which is           in 24 hours. World Vision marketing director
Welcome New Members                                    the exact time the earthquake struck on Box-          Bruce Waldin said he was amazed at the
Archie Orlikow                                         ing Day off Indonesia, triggering the tsuna-          strong response: “We anticipated the service
Sandy and Steve Moynes and children Kevin and          mi.                                                   would have special appeal to young people
Angie                                                      Ten Australians are reported dead in the          but this goes way beyond our expectations.”
                                                       wake of the Indian Ocean tsunami, with
                                                       another 12 listed as missing, 30 hospitalised,        Pop stars unite and open their
                                                       and at least 1,000 Australians in the area still      hearts
                                                       unaccounted for. The number of New Zealan-            Australia’s star performers united in song to
                                                       ders killed stands at two confirmed, four             raise more than $20,116,000 for victims of
                                                       missing and presumed dead, and another                the tsunami disaster at the Australia Unites –
                                                       300 who may have been in the region.                  Reach Out To Asia concert, also watched by
                                                           And the money keeps rolling in…                   millions of Australian television viewers. The
                                                           PM John Howard today pledged $1 billion           combination of humour from TV stars and
         the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                       over five years to the Indonesia’s tsunami            heart-wrenching stories from victims was
                   Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                       reconstruction, the largest donation made so          enough to prompt a further outpouring of
         Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                       far for the relief effort. The historic package       support from Australians. The pledges come
                   telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                       includes $500 million in direct aid and $500          on top of more than $120 million in private
                                                       million in concessional loans. Mr Howard              and corporate donations made to Australia’s
                                                       said the scale of the calamity required a             aid organisations.
                                                       “response above the ordinary”.
editorially                                               iaora/Kiorana (the latter being hello           We spent the end of our holiday in Rara-

    yours      Jenny Gates
                                                 K        in Cook Island Maori),
                                                           Jason and I spent the better part of a
                                                 month in New Zealand over the holidays
                                                                                                      tonga in the Cook Islands. For those who
                                                                                                      haven’t had the pleasure of visiting this
                                                                                                      tropical paradise, you should definitely con-
                                                 with family and friends. There was no bet-           sider it on your next trip home. We will
                                                 ter way to spend Christmas – even if there           bring photos and all kinds of stories to the
    t’s hard to com-                             was no snow. We couldn’t believe some of             Australia Day / Waitangi Day celebrations

I   plain about the
    weather when
this is pretty much
                                                 the Christmas light displays around
                                                 Christchurch, which would rival any around
                                                                                                      later this month.
                                                                                                          I would like to wish everybody a happy
                                                                                                      new year and all the best in 2005.
what we’re supposed                                   It was Jason’s                                                   And in closing I would like
to get in the middle of                          first trip to NZ
                                                                       president’s                                  to pass on my deepest sorrow
winter here in Winnipeg. Still, it’s very
chilly ... quite brisk ... character building.
                                                 and he was suit-
                                                 ably impressed. It        report Lynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                                     for all who lost their lives in
                                                                                                                      the terrible tragedy in Asia
     One thing you can say is that Win-          was great to                                                         over the holidays.
nipeg surely shines during the winter.           catch up with Pat,
Gotta love those mornings after the snow         Zane and Mathew McGrath at the Auckland
has fallen, with everything covered in a         airport on our way home. Much to our
gentle blanket of white. Or the hoare frost      surprise, Terry Roberts was also there to
adding sparkle to everything it touches.         greet us. Our flight was delayed by a
And those special days when the sundogs          couple of hours so we were able to
seem to take control of the clear blue sky.      extend our visit for a while.
It’s no secret that I am a true fan of
prairie winters, but these last few days
have really tested my mettle – and I
     Always something to do here that is
just that bit better in the winter. This is
                                                                                                                   Tegan Mann, with her mother Shan-
the time of year I love to visit the zoo,
                                                                                                                   non, and new friend “Splat”. The
when it’s peaceful and beautiful, and the
                                                                                                                   bear was a gift from Santa when he
polar bears and snow leopards seem a lot
                                                                                                                   visited the Down Under kids on
happier. Taking our dogs across frozen
                                                                                                                   December 12th.
rivers is the only time I can walk on
water. Dining in restaurants that have a
blazing fire is a wonderful experience.
And there is nothing quite like that brief
moment in time when you crossover from
being outside to being inside.
     And it was while I was inside on
Thursday (Jan 13) that I felt the most for-
tunate. CJOB was airing the CORUS radio
appeal to raise money for Children of the
Tsunami. The many stories about lost
lives, those unaccounted for, the absolute
devastation, and the impending threat of
disease was intense and at times difficult
to hear, but bouyed by the depth of
human generosity. I felt fortunate to be in

                                                                       Chase off the winter chills
a position to help. Paltry compared to
what they need, but every little bit makes

                                                                                  with a hot pie!
a difference. I only hope we can keep the
generosity candle burning for all the oth-
ers who need help, particularly in Darfur,
     When you think about it, here in
Canada, there’s not really a lot to com-
plain about. So, keep warm and feel fortu-
                                                  Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                             390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                               ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                     hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                           January 2005
all things social in the club

What’s happened ...

    Sunday December 12, Kenaston
     Recreation Centre, 3 to 7 pm
What a great afternoon this was! Santa was
prompt, jolly and generous, and ably assisted
by his elves who made sure that every one of
the kids received their lovely gifts. Even                                                                         A good time was had by all at the
those who couldn’t make it to the event                                                                            Christmas party. The kids loved
received their gifts after the fact. Thanks to                                                                     Santa’s visit and we all had time
Brian and Liz for pitching Lynley’s tent and                                                                       to catch up and chow down.
organising lots of great fun stuff for the kids
to do, and special thanks to everyone who
brought along delicious home-cooked contri-
butions to the potluck supper. Seemed that
the day and time worked well for everyone,
and the turnout was great.

What’s ahead ...

         Saturday January 29,
      Kenaston Recreation Centre,
       516 Kenaston Rd, 7:00 pm
The Australia Day / Waitangi Day function
will stage a no holds barred, first ever, Aus-
tralia vs New Zealand Pavlova bake-off.
Everyone is welcome to produce an entry,                                                       Looking for a southern job?
and we are looking forward to many mem-                                                        The folks at “Working In New Zealand” have
bers entering their favourite pavlova. There      Tell Us What You Think                       sent us a complimentary copy of their 2004-
will be a “blind” taste format, and you can       The last issue of the Yarn was accompa-      2005 publication (NZ $30). The magazine
rate your favourites without knowing the ori-     nied by a survey sent to most members.       provides a great deal of useful information
gin. All plates/forks will be provided. There     Thanks to those who have completed           about working and living in NZ, including
will be a panel of 3 unbiased judges, with        and returned their surveys. If you           information about NZ, detailed profiles on
Bill Pooley as chief judge. The evening will      haven’t done so, we would appreciate         companies with an ongoing interest in
also include respects to both our national        your response to the questions as we         employing skilled and professional staff,
days, and a quiz session on national culture      move ahead with the next year. So,           lists of professional bodies, and other useful
and history. Every pavlova is a good pavlova      please complete and return ASAP. All         information for people thinking of moving to
– enjoy yourself!                                 responses will be included in the Feb-       NZ. Also on its way is the “Working In Aus-
                                                  ruary issue.                                 tralia” issue.
             BINGO BOWLING                                                                          You can order copies through
             Saturday March 19                                                        The website also pro-

Mark this date in your calendar. Bingo Bowl-                                                   vides you with: a full listing of companies
ing is one of the most fun events in our year.                                                 and career opportunities; useful search tools
Invite your friends, family, neighbours and                                                    and information about living and working in
colleagues. No experience necessary – this                                                     NZ; tools for submitting CVs directly to
event is fun for everyone! All details will be                    Remember to RSVP to          potential employers; opportunity to order
included in the February Yarn.                                   Peter Munn 237-1805 or        copies of the magazine
                                                                       To borrow the club copies, contact me
                                                                                               ( or 831-6527).

                                                                                                  Decks, Sunrooms and

    Kiwi Installations                                      Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                               Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                            Free in-home/cottage estimates.

January 2005                                                                        • The Southern Yarn 3
                                                                                                       and there were fears that more animals
                                                                                                       would die from thirst today because of the
                                                                                                       lack of water.

                                                                                                       Foster’s readies to buy
                                                                                                       [January 14, 2005, SMH] Foster’s Group is
                                                                                                       poised to launch an ambitious $3 billion-
                                                                                                       plus takeover offer for Southcorp that could
                                                                                                       create the world’s largest quality wine com-
                                                                                                       pany and keep brands such as Penfolds and
                                                                                                       Rosemount in Australian hands. Buying the
                                                                                                       company behind the Penfolds, Lindemans,
                                                                                                       Wynns and Rosemount labels would make
Peter Doyle outside his restaurant Doyle’s at Watsons Bay. Photo: Kylie Melinda Smith                  Foster’s the world’s largest producer of pre-
                                                                                                       mium wine (accepted as $US5 a bottle and
from our Aussie contributors
                                                 highly successful television program that
                                                 ran from 1957 to 1971, racking up a total of
                                                                                                       above) as well as one of the world’s largest
                                                                                                       vineyard owners with about 30,000 acres. It
                                                 900 shows. She died of a stroke in a nursing          would also create a $14 billion beer and wine
Peter Doyle, a simple fisherman                  home at Gympie on Christmas Day and was               group that was better able to withstand a for-
who ran a restaurant empire,                     buried in a private service on the Gold Coast         eign bid during a period of consolidation in
dies at 72                                       on December 30. In the 1950s and 60s, Bob             the global wine industry. Let’s drink to that!
[December 13, 2004, SMH] The doyen of the        and Dolly Dyer’s BP Pick-a-Box was one of the
Sydney seafood scene, Peter Doyle, has died,     best rating television programs in Australia.         Will it catch on fast?
aged 72. Tributes flowed in for the Watsons      In 1971 they walked away from television              [January 14, 2005, SMH] The frenetic pace
Bay businessman, who turned a humble fish        and retired in Queensland, but before they            and restless excitement of Twenty20 cricket
and chip shop into Doyle’s restaurant            retired they were given a special Gold Logie          could bring crowds back to Australia’s
empire, an institution and international         to mark their contribution to the industry            domestic competition, according to the revo-
tourist attraction: “Peter transformed Doyle’s   over 15 years.                                        lutionaries associated with the nation’s first
at Watsons Bay from a tiny little café in the                                                          interstate 20-overs-a-side game. Cricket Aus-
1950s and 60s to the international tourist                                                             tralia reacted to the success of the new for-
attraction that it is today. He brought inter-                                                         mat by announcing it would include a
national attention to the quality of Sydney                                                            Twenty20 carnival in its domestic schedule
seafood.” According to his son, Peter Junior:                                                          next summer. Players and organisers are
“His business card just read ‘Peter Doyle,                                                             convinced Twenty20 is the way forward after
fisherman’, and that’s all he wanted to do. He                                                         staggering crowds (i.e., 20,071 and 21,254)
loved seafood, loved fishing.”                                                                         were reported at various ovals staging the
                                                                                                       event. On Wednesday, the WACA Ground had
XXXX Gold gets a facelift                                                                              to shut its gates more than half-an-hour
[January 5, 2005, Yahoo! Australia NZ] The                                                             before a ball was bowled, after the ground
iconic Mr Fourex will feature on the new         Lost everything ... Daryl Toy at the remains of his   sold out for the first time since 1981. CA chief
look packaging of Queensland’s biggest sell-     caravan park home in North Shields. He escaped        executive James Sutherland said the organi-
ing beer, Castlemaine Perkins XXXX GOLD.         with only the clothes he was wearing. Photo:          sation could not ignore the public’s appetite
Mr Fourex was recently announced one of 12       David Mariuz                                          for Twenty20 cricket: “... it’s something the
Queensland’s Heritage Icons. In addition to                                                            fans are interested in seeing more of and we
the cheeky boater-wearing character, the         Nine killed in SA blaze                               need to look at a way in which we can intro-
new look XXXX GOLD cans, stubbies and            [January 13, 2005, SMH] The body of the               duce on perhaps
cartons will also include more use of yellow,    ninth victim of the devastating bushfires on          a more formal
reducing the gold colour. Castlemaine            South Australia’s Eyre Peninsula has been             basis next sea-
Perkins managing director Ken Freer said         discovered as residents began dealing with            son.”
the change was important to ensuring the         the aftermath of the state’s worst natural dis-
beer brand’s packaging reflected history and     aster since Ash Wednesday. The fire raced               Even the players
status: “We’ve made a few changes to ensure      across Eyre Peninsula as a 20-km wall of               are excited about
XXXX GOLD has a fresh look whilst continu-       flame, burning more than 48,000 ha of the              Twenty20 cricket.
ing to acknowledge the heritage of this icon     lower peninsula. At least 50 homes were                     Photo: SMH
beer.”                                           destroyed, including 15 caravans, two buses
                                                 and four boats. There was extensive damage
Television pioneer Dolly Dyer                    to rural infrastructure including water
dies                                             mains. Stock was lost in the relatively pros-
[January 7, 2005, SMH] Australian television     perous corner of South Australia, which pro-
pioneer Dolly Dyer has died. Mrs Dyer will       duces wheat and barley as well as sheep.
be remembered as the charming side-kick to       Farmers yesterday began the heartbreaking
her husband Bob Dyer on Pick-a-Box, the          job of destroying injured and dying stock

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                             January 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                   the surrounding regions, temperatures
                                                   reached early to mid-20s. Yesterday was also
                                                                                                              THE KIWI CHRISTMAS
                                                                                                              Courtesy of Vcitoria Kiwis, BC
                                                   a reprieve for businesses hampered by aver-
                                                   age weather over the holiday period. The               Twas the Night before Xmas and all through the bach
Petrol station adds holiday                        America’s Cup yachts of SailNZ stretched out            Not even a weta was making a scratch
surcharge                                          at full capacity on the Hauraki Gulf. Manag-            Woolly socks were hung by the pot belly with care
[January 5, 2005, NZ Herald] A Tasman Bay          er William Goodfellow said the sunny weath-             In the hopes that Santa soon would be there
service station has joined restaurants and         er made a huge difference. Ferry operator              The children were snoozing in a light summer’s breeze
cafés by putting a surcharge on its petrol         Fullers Auckland also enjoyed greater num-              Whilst dreaming of spongy pud and lime green cream
prices to offset higher wage costs resulting       bers yesterday: “It’s a simple formula – when          freeze
from new holidays legislation. Criticised as       the sun comes out, the people come out.”                And dad in his walk shorts and me in my jandals
opportunism by consumers groups, the 15                                                                    Had just settled down for a couple of handles
per cent surcharge on petrol sales over the
                                                                                                          When out on the lawn I heard such a ruckus
Christmas-New Year holiday period is
                                                                                                          I sprang from my Lazy Boy to see what the fuss was
intended to cover a 25 per cent jump in
                                                                                                          I ran to the sliding door, gasping and wheezing
staffing costs: “It’s either that or we shut the
                                                                                                          Threw open the curtains and upped the venetians
doors.” Bah, humbug!
                                                                                                          The moon on the sand and the Trailer tarp
Anger as TVs given to prison                                                                               Lit the beach up just like Eden Park
inmates                                                                                                    But still when I saw, I thought I was asleep
[January 5, 2005, NZ Herald] Inmates at                                                                    A miniature Kingswood, pulled by eight tiny sheep
Waikeria Prison in Waikato are being given                                                                With a little old driver, sipping a Fanta
television sets bought with taxpayer money                                                                I knew in a moment, it had to be Santa
to compensate them for extended time               The Katipo Spider.                                     Faster than Phar Lap on steroids they came
locked up in cells because of staff shortages.     photo:             And he coo-eed and shouted and called them by name
Serious     Sentencing     Trust      national
                                                   It’s poisonous, but it’s ours                          Now, Kevin! now, Sharlene! now, Rangi and Beck!
spokesman Garth McVicar said the public
                                                                                                          On, Darryl! On Shazza! on, Bilbo and Shrek!
should ask what sort of justice system the         [January 14, 2005, NZ Herald] The Conserva-
                                                                                                          To the top of the Pagoda, to the top of the wall
“warm fuzzy” brigade is trying to create:          tion Department is worried about the future
                                                                                                          Get in behind, Get in behind, Get in behind, All!
“Once again we have a clear example of a jus-      of New Zealand’s most poisonous creature,
tice system being all about the offender, not      the katipo spider, and wants to hold public            As sandflies around a bar-b-que fly
about the victim.” I wonder if they’ll be          discussions on ways to protect the endan-               When they sniff the sizzlers and take to the sky
watching “Law and Order” on their little tel-      gered spider. The department’s Bay of Plenty            So up to the top of the bach they flew
lies?                                              Conservator, Henry Weston, says a katipo                With a boot full of toys and Santa Claus too
                                                   reserve or refuge could be considered on               With a handbrake stop, they arrived on the roof
Scots to decide on return of                       Matakana Island, where the venomous spi-               Four Goodyear tyres and 32 hoofs
Maori artefacts                                    der was found late last year. The katipo is list-      And as I quickly turned and ran to the lounge
[January 12, 2005, NZ Herald] A Scottish           ed as a threatened species because coastal             Out from the chimney Santa came with a bound
council is to decide if two preserved Maori        development reduced the area of sand
heads should be returned to New Zealand.           dunes, where the spider lives, by 70 per cent          He was wearing boardshorts, and gumboots on foot
                                                                                                           And his Mambos were covered in six-month-old soot
The tattooed heads, toi moko, are stored in        last century. The extremely rare spider is the
                                                                                                           A bundle of toys he had on his back
Perth Museum, along with an 18th-century           most poisonous thing in New Zealand, and
                                                                                                           As if on OE with a brand new Macpac
kakapo feather cloak and about 70 other            considered “a national icon” in coastal sites
taonga (treasure), such as tools, carvings         from Northland to Otago: “I saw Kapito T-              He looked like he’d come from the beauty parlour
and jewellery. Councillors on Perth and Kin-       shirts, a shop called the Katipo Spider, and a          With rosy red cheeks like pohutakawa
ross Council’s lifelong learning committee         web designer called Katipo. New Zealanders              A gorgeous big grin and white as white hair
are meeting today to consider a formal             know this creature and they embrace it.                 With wee little tufts growing out of his ears
request for the return of the heads to Te          They fear it a little bit, but that’s not neces-       He had a broad chest and a round beer gut
Papa, the Museum of New Zealand. A report          sarily a bad thing – it gives respect.” There           That shook when he laughed like Jabba the Hutt
to the committee says the cultural impor-          are two species – the black katipo and the              He was chubby and plump, a right jolly hobbit
tance of the moko to Maori outweighs the           red-striped katipo.                                     And I laughed when I saw him, I couldn’t stop it
value of keeping them in Perth: “The cultur-
al value and sacred nature of the toi moko to      You’re invited to Victoria!                            He gave me a wink and a bonza thumbs up
the Maori people is such that their return to      Victoria Kiwis is holding their annual Wait-            And I quickly realised he wasn’t a nut
                                                                                                           He went straight to the socks without saying a thing
New Zealand is without a doubt the most            angi Day Dinner on February 4 in Victoria,
                                                                                                           And filled them with barbies and Shrek 2 keyrings
appropriate way forward.”                          BC. If you are in BC at that time, feel free to
                                                   join them at Velox Rugby Club 3957 Gordon              Then giving his nose a jolly good scratch
Summer finally drops in                            Head Road, with drinks at 6:00 pm and din-              He flew up the chimney with an almighty flash
[January 12, 2005, NZ Herald] Summer has           ner at 6:30 pm. This is a potluck event, so             He jumped in the Kingswood and cranked the ignition
finally arrived, but better late than never.       bring some kiwi-themed food. Tickets are                And then they took off, like some NASA mission
Sun lovers in the upper North Island met           $10 and kids under 12 years are free.                   But I think I could hear, as he drove out of sight
yesterday’s sunshine with hats and bikinis,                                                                “Merry Christmas to all, have a bloody good night!
fishing rods and paddles. In Auckland and

January 2005                                                                                  • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Sydney Morning Herald
                                                      Tim e for cha ng e. Seems there’s a new trend
                                                      in Sydney. Rather than trying to locate the
                                                                                                          residence in the potted lemon tree and, at
                                                                                                          last count, had laid six eggs. Jean and John
                                                      respective owners, anyone finding money             have conferred with the Wildlife Information
A dog with pa per s. While sitting in traffic in      dropped on the sidewalk ($40 in one                 and Rescue Service, which predicts 13 eggs
Lindfield on Friday, a reader was captivated          instance, $100 in another) is donating it on        and a six-week incubation. When that happy
by the antics of a man out walking his dober-         the loser’s behalf to World Vision for tsunami      day arrives the new ducklings will be trans-
man. He saw the man spread two sheets of              relief. [various dates]                             ported to the nearest pond. [Jan 5]
newspaper on the grass verge of the path
then the dog step onto the sheets, squat,             Wal ki ng hi s hu ge Ir ish wol fh ound in Rose     Wha t’s i n a na me ? On holiday in Tasmania,
defecate, right on target, then step off. Our         Bay Park every day, Stuart Fergusson is used        Matthew Herrmann, of Randwick, noticed a
reader wonders how much training went into            to comments like “is it a horse?” and “hey,         brochure for their latest holiday destination.
this well-rehearsed ritual. [Jan 11]                  where’s the saddle?”. But the best comment          It’s known as Dismal Swamp, promoted by
                                                      came from a five-year-old boy just before           Forestry Tasmania as “the new place to be”.
Cl e ar - cut. A reader saw a sign in Yanko           Christmas. “Is that a reindeer?” he asked –         [Jan 18]
Road, Pymble, advertising: “Fresh Christmas           an obvious question when the owner of the
trees for 2005.” Meanwhile, in most suburbs           dog wears a full white beard. [Jan 7]               R ing tone s untr ue. When Jane Dillon’s boss
the sight of dead pine trees dumped on                                                                    received his monthly mobile phone bill from
nature strips is a common post-Christmas              Bi tter i ro ny . Richard Gifford-Moore, of East    Telstra he noticed that he had been charged
tradition. Not so in the suburbs looked after         Ryde, notes that those sitting in the Mem-          $12,174,187.76. After calculating that he
by Willoughby City Council, where Margaret            bers Stand at the SCG look out over fence           would have had to have been on the phone to
Goodrick, of Naremburn, has received a                advertising for Wolf Blass wines. From the          an international number for an eternity to
notice for general rubbish collections in             concourse it’s Victoria Bitter. [Jan 5]             reach this amount, he questioned the bill.
2005. The first quarter clean-up is for bulk                                                              Telstra told him the correct amount was
vegetation, which includes Christmas trees            Wa ve o f s uppo rt . Richard Knox, of Lane         $94.95. [Jan 15]
(chopped in half). Unfortunately, these can-          Cove, says he found it ironic, yet encourag-
not be removed until March 10, so you might           ing, that he needed a rubbish bin to collect        Pr i ze i di ot . A 27-year-old man stole a
as well leave them up for a few more months.          Tsunami Appeal money at the SCG yesterday.          $A1200 phone from a Christchurch shop,
[Jan 11]                                              [Jan 5]                                             then went to another store in the same retail
                                                                                                          chain to buy the SIM card needed to operate
Doyle town? While watching a BBC television           Mor e ducks i n subur bi a. A month ago, Jean       it. The retailer told police who simply called
program on the joys of Sydney as a tourist            and John Werbeloff, of Huntleys Cove,               the SIM card number, telling the man his
destination, Lee Harrison, of North Rocks,            noticed two ducks checking out their third-         purchase had won a prize but his name and
had to smile when Doyle’s restaurant, Wat-            floor balcony. They obviously approved of the       address were needed so it could be mailed to
sons Bay was described as a “a small fishing          northerly aspect, pleasant ambience and             him. The fellow gave them the details – and
village just outside of Sydney”. [Jan 8]              owners’ taste in music. Emily Duck took up          was promptly arrested.

                                                                                                                             tuckerbox .
                                                       Vegemite meatballs                  Meatballs: Process in batches as follows – quarter onion and
                                                       in cumin sauce                      process on high/fine-chop in food processor. Add egg, Veg-
                                                       provided by Keith La Rue
                                                                                           emite and meat, and run until well blended. Spatula into a medi-
                                                                                           um mixing bowl. (I do the pork batch first, then the beef.) Mix
                                                                                           well with oiled hands and form into 1/2” to 3/4” meatballs.
                                                       1 lb each ground pork and
                                                                                           Place on waxed paper and rest in refrigerator about 1/2 to 1
                                                       ground beef, lean.
                                                                                           hour. Brown on both sides, in batches using your favourite
                                                       for each pound of meat:
                                                                                           cooking oil to prevent sticking. Drain. Discard excess oil but do
                                                         1 medium onion
                                                                                           not wash pan, you want to deglaze it for the sauce.
                                                         one egg
                                                         1 tbsp Vegemite
                                                                                           Sauce: Add 2 tbsp butter, 1 tbsp cumin and stir on high about
                                                                                           1 minute to bring out the flavour – on medium high to high
                                                                                           heat. Add about 1/2 cup water and stir, boiling to deglaze, stir-
                                                       2 tbsp butter
                                                                                           ring in all the stuck bits and reducing the volume to half. Add
                                                       1 tbsp cumin
                                                                                           1/2 tsp chicken bouillon powder and 1 tsp beef bouillon pow-
Cooking with the mighty veg!                           1 tsp beef bouillon powder
                                                                                           der and dissolve well. Add about 2 cups heavy cream (I use
We’re happy little Vegemites after sampling Keith’s    1/2 tsp chicken bouillon powder
                                                                                           whipping cream) and heat until it begins to thicken.
delicious recipe at the recent potluck. It puts a      1/2 cup water
                                                                                           You can add cornstarch or flour to thicken and prevent the
rose in every cheek!                                   2 cups cream (heavy)
                                                                                           sauce from ‘breaking’. Pour sauce over meatballs and bake
                                                       cornstarch to thicken
                                                                                           until reheated through, about 15 minutes at 350EC or
Image: Patrick Dugan                                                                       microwave. Alternately slow cook in sauce to suffuse the cumin                                                    flavour throughout the meatballs.

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                   January 2005
beneaththe                                       policy and poems, memoirs and photo
                                                 reportage. Authors include Professor
                                                                                                     scribe to the journal, including a free back
                                                                                                     issue. Click on the banner announcement on
southern                                         Graeme Hugo, well-known for his research            the SCG’s website for more information.

contributions from
                                                 into emigration from Australia, and Nobel
                                                 Laureate Professor Peter Doherty, who sets          VESKI Fellowships for Expatriate
                                                 out his “rules” for expatriates returning to        Australians
The Southern Cross Group                         Australia. A total of 33 diverse offerings          (Victorian Endowment for Science, Knowl-                     results in this issue of Griffith Review living     edge & Innovation)
                                                 up to its established rep-                          If you are or know someone who is an expa-
Our Global Face: Inside the                      utation of being “weighty,                          triate Australian with an outstanding record
Australian Diaspora                              cheeky, elegant, sceptical                          of achievement in Science, Technology or
[courtesy of the Southern Cross Group] The       and readable”.                                      Design, and meet our criteria for excellence,
latest issue of the journal Griffith Review is       Published by Griffith                           you may be eligible for a VESKI Victorian
dedicated to the theme of overseas Aus-          University in conjunc-                              Innovation Fellowship, qualifying you for a
tralians.                                        tion with ABC Books,                                grant of up to AUD$100,000 per annum for a
    Entitled “Our Global Face: Inside the Aus-   SCG site visitors outside                           maximum of 5 years. These funds must be
tralian Diaspora”, this innovative book con-     Australia are being given                           matched with financial funding and in-kind
tains a piece on the founding of the             the opportunity to purchase this publication        contributions from a Host Organisation such
Southern Cross Group (SCG) and the chal-         through the SCG’s website at the special            as an Academic/Research Institution or
lenges of running a virtual lobbying organi-     price of US$15 (excluding postage, packing          Company. The funds are to be used to sup-
sation. It explores the issues surrounding       and handling):                                      port the return of the successful applicant to
who we are and how we still call Australia           Until 31 March 2005, Griffith Review is         work in Victoria. Applications close on Feb-

home. Contributions are both fiction and         offering special discount subscription rates        ruary 28, 2005. For more information and
non-fiction, encompassing essays, reviews,       for SCG site visitors who may wish to sub-          selection criteria, visit our web site.

                                                           Aussie and Kiwi kids are Weet-Bix kids!

     Join the Kids Challenge Today!                                       Kids’ Giggle
                                                                          A frog walked into a bank and went to talk to a loan officer named
     Want to help children affected by the Indian                         Patty. The frog said, ‘I would like a loan.’
     Ocean Earthquake?                                                        Patty said, ‘Well, sir, we can’t give you a loan.’
     If you would like to make a difference by organizing a fundrais-         ‘Why not?’ asked the frog.
     er in your school or collecting pledges from friends and family,         ‘Well,’ said Patty, ‘You’re a frog.’
     then why not use UNICEF’s Canada Kids Earthquake Challenge               ‘I’d like to see the President of the Bank,’ said the frog.
     fundraising kit to get started. Go to           So Patty went and got the President. ‘What seems to be the
     anocean/kit.php and find out how you can help raise much need-       problem?’ asked the President.
     ed money.                                                                ‘This woman says I can’t have a loan because I’m a frog.’
                                                                               ‘Well, do you have collateral?’ asked the President.
                                                                              The frog pulled a small glass elephant out of his pocket.
                                                                          ‘What is that!?’ exclaimed Patty.
                                                                               The President says, ‘It’s a knick-knack, Patty.’ Whack!!! ‘Give
                                                                          the frog a loan.’

                                                                          Triple J
                                                                          If you’re into pop music, you might want to tune into triple J
                                                                          online ( for their annual hottest 100 program.
                                                                          It all starts at 10 AM on Australia Day.
                                                                               They also have other features you might be interested in, like
                                                                          Connect-a-Mate, where they put you in touch with someone back
                                                                          in Australia, over the radio. Just send a request over email to
                                                                    We enjoyed ourselves at the Christmas party and expect we’ll have more
                                                                    crafts and fun at the Australia Day / Waitangi Day party. See you there!

January 2005                                                                              • The Southern Yarn 7
They might have snuck away, but we still
                                                 southern humour
want to say farewell to Ca ssandr a, Ji m and
Ewa n Sc ott who have packed their bags and
headed back to Australia. We enjoyed know-       Why God Created Children
ing you and hope everything goes well in Oz.        [courtesy Ed and Elaine Clairmont]
                                                    After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and
                                                    Eve. And the first thing he said was “DON’T!”
                                                        “Don’t what?” Adam replied.
                                                        “Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.                                                    DO
                                                        “Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we
                                                    have forbidden fruit!”
                                                        “No Way!”
                                                        “Yes way!”
                                                        “Do NOT eat the fruit!” said God.                                                             Win
                                                        “Why?”                                                                                        Man
                           Creative Kiwis like
                                                        “Because I am your Father and I said so!” God replied,
                           architect Sir Miles War-
                                                    wondering why He hadn’t stopped creation after making
                           ren have earned Icon
                                                    the elephants.
                           Awards. Who’s next?
                                                         A few minutes later, God saw His children having an
                                                    apple break and He was ticked!
Nominate a New Zealand Artist                            “Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit?” God asked.    Board of Directors
for an Icon Award                                       “Uh huh,” Adam replied.                                  President:
Living icons of New Zealand arts will be hon-           “Then why did you?” said the Father.                     Lynley Wesselingh
oured at the second biennial Arts Founda-               “I don’t know,” said Eve.                                Vice President:
                                                                                                                 Terry Roberts
tion of New Zealand Icon Awards in 2005,                “She started it!” Adam said
New Zealanders are being asked to suggest               “Did not!”                                               Secretary:
                                                                                                                 Judy Powell
living New Zealand artists with great mana              “Did too!”
whom they think are deserving of this hon-              “DID NOT!”                                               Jenny Gates
our.                                                    Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment
    The Arts Foundation is generating a list        was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.     Peter Debenham
of possible award recipients by consulting          Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.           Social Coordinator:
with arts organisations, patrons, administra-                                                                    Peter Munn
tors and experts in various fields of artistic      Don’t I know you?                                            Membership:
endeavour. It also wants suggestions from           [courtesy Gloria Watson and Rod Dorn – Liz’s Mum and         Lucia Barron
the general public of senior artists who have       her partner]
produced work at the very highest level             From a northern NSW paper comes this story of a Tweed        The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
throughout their working life.                      Heads couple who drove their car to Woolworths, only to      get it write.
    Past recipients (Len Castle – potter;           have it break down in the car park. The man told his wife    Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
Janet Frame – writer; Dig-                          to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The
geress Te Kanawa – weav-                            wife returned twenty minutes later to see a small group of
er; Sir Miles Warren –                              people gathered around the bonnet of the car staring         Layout and design:
architect) were acknowl-                            down goggle-eyed.                                            hydesmith communications
edged for the leadership                                On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs pro-
and inspiration they pro-                           truding from under the vehicle. The problem was that
vide to New Zealand and                             because he was dressed in baggy blue shorts on this          The electronic version of this
celebrated     for   their                          stinking hot day, the man’s obvious lack of underwear had    newsletter typically contains a
achievements as the champions of New                turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Red     few extra pages of content (in
Zealand arts.                                       with embarrassment, the wife nevertheless steeled her-       colour!), and can be downloaded
    To make your nominations, email                 self long enough to dutifully step forward, kneel and        in PDF format from the website. or visit:               quickly put her hand up his shorts to tuck everything back   A big thank you to all of our             into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the     contributors within the club,
                                                    bonnet and found herself looking at her shocked husband      from overseas and information
                                                    who was standing nearby.                                     services.
                                                          The NRMA man, however, had to have three stitches
                                                    in his forehead. He is resting comfortably.                  THE DOWN UNDER
                                                        (NRMA is equivalent to our CAA tow truck drivers)
                                                                                                                 CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
                                                                                                                 Station Main, PO Box 1655,
                                                                                                                 Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6                                                                                      1-204-832-4405 email:                                                                                                                                                                                  

8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                          January 2005
            The                                                                                                                      February 2005

Southern Yarn
         NEWSLETTER                      OF        THE   D O W N         U N D E R          CLUB         OF     WINNIPEG               INC.

downundercalendar                      2 0 0 5

Bingo Glow Bowling
Saturday March 19, 7:00 pm
Windsor Park Lanes,
cnr Elizabeth Rd and Drake,
St. Boniface
Bingo Bowling is one of the most fun events
in our year. Invite your friends, family,
neighbours and colleagues, No experience
necessary – this event is fun for everyone!
Adults – $11.50, Under 12 – $9.00. Price
includes 4 games of Bowling, shoe rental and
light supper. Refreshments will be available at
the bar. There will also be a silent auction and
prizes for individual game winners. Anyone
wishing to participate in an evening of
immense fun should call Terry at 663-6549.           Pavlova Fever:
And if you are willing to donate silent auction      Club members faced off last month with their prowess in creating their best pavlovas, a dessert New
items, please call Terry for that as well.           Zealand and Australia has become known for. Judges served up some surprising results. See page 3.

ANZAC Day service,                                   Canada’s on                                                               like normal but instead of
                                                                                                                                  trying to get the high-
potluck dinner and casino night,
Friday April 22, 6:30 pm
Join us for our most important event of the
                                                     the ball                                                                       est score, you try to
                                                                                                                                     get things your team
                                                            oon after arriving in Cana-                                              hasn’t marked off on
year – our ANZAC Day service at the Western
Canada Aviation Museum, 958 Ferry Road.
The service will be followed by a potluck
                                                     S      da, I headed to a local
                                                            bowling alley for a spot of
                                                     10-pin bowling. Much to my sur-
                                                                                                                                     their bingo card yet.
                                                                                                                                     A variation on this
                                                                                                                                   variation is “blackout
dinner and then the infamous DUCW casino.            prise – and a certain amount of dis-                                       bingo”, where you cross
Be sure to bring enough food for you and             dain – I realised I had ‘discovered’ a                                 off all the things on the card.
guest so we know there will be enough food           curious sport known as 5-pin bowling. Huh?               There is also funky bowling where play-
for everyone who comes along. Contact                What happened to the other 5 pins? How               ers bowl each frame a different way (i.e., nor-
Peter ( or ring            come the bowling ball was so light, so small?        mally, with their right hand, with their left
237-1805) to confirm your attendance.                What was this all about?                             hand, with both hands, backwards, standing
                                                          A bit of research on the internet               on one foot, sitting on the floor, holding a
                                                     ( revealed that 5-            teammate’s hand, between the legs of your
                                                     pin bowling was invented by Canadian                 entire team, and however you want –
                                                     Thomas F. Ryan, and was first played in              although presumably the way most likely to
                                                     Toronto, Ontario. Every Province and Territo-        score a strike!).
                                                     ry of Canada has a 5-pin bowling centre, but             Whichever variation you play, you’re com-
                                                     it is not played in the US or anywhere else in       peting against the other teams, so speed
                                                     the world. The sport dates back to 1909, and         becomes an issue and the game gets quite
                                                     by 1995, there were 521,000 Canadians par-           wild and silly!
                                                     ticipating regularly in 5-pin bowling (37%               Whatever your style, no matter your
       the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                     male and 63% female).                                degree of experience, you will have a beaut
                 Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                          As for the variations of 5-pin bowling, the     time at the March bingo bowling event. Get
       Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                     most commonly played is bingo bowling, a             your family, friends, colleagues and neigh-
                 telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                     team effort that follows a bingo card with var-      bours together and be sure to contact Peter
                                                     ious bowling scores – strike, spare, split,          Munn today (237-1805 or social@downun-
                                                     head pin only, gutter, 15, 10, 13, 12, 11, 10, 8, to reserve your spot on the
                                                     7, 5, 3, 2, etc. Each person bowls their frame       team.
editorially                                         t was excellent to see so many people             you enjoy and would like to see more of,

    yours     Jenny Gates
                                                I   out at our first Pavlova bake off. Being a
                                                    Pavlova lover, I really enjoyed being one
                                                of the judges and there is no such thing as
                                                                                                      what you want in the newsletter, and gener-
                                                                                                      ally knowing what it is you are looking for
                                                                                                      from the Down Under Club. We take all of
                                                a bad Pavlova. A big thank you to all those           these suggestions seriously and will keep
                                                who took the time to put in an entry, I never         you posted with the outcome.
          y apolo-                              knew we had so many great chefs in the                    And a thank you to Susanna La Rue for

M         gies! I was
          hoping to
include the results
                                                    We have all been affected by the devas-
                                                tation caused by the Tsunami in Southeast
                                                                                                      putting together the 2005 Roster.
                                                                                                                      I look forward to seeing
                                                                                                                    everybody at the Bingo Bowl
of the DUCW sur-                                Asia. As a result,                                                   on March 19. Let’s make this
vey in this issue of                            the DUCW has
                                                                      president’s                                    the best one yet. And
the Yarn, but I ran
out of time to tally
                                                donated $500 to
                                                the Mennonite            report  Lynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                                      remember – you don’t need
                                                                                                                       any experience; just some
all the results.                                Central Commit-                                                           friends and a little luck.
There were lots of comments from mem-           tee to use for Tsunami relief.
bers that needed to be consolidated into a          Jenny Gates has been working hard
readable format, and by the time I got          on calculating the results of the sur-
started, it took longer than I anticipated.     vey that many of you sent back.
In any case, all comments and informa-          Response was outstanding. This is
tion will be there for you in the March         very valuable to us, helping us
Yarn for sure!                                  improve social events, find out what
     In the meantime, there is a lot of con-
tent in this month’s newsletter to keep
you interested. In addition to the news           Dust storm at Hay, Victoria, on February 1, 2005.
from down under, we’ve included a bit of          The shearing shed in the photo no longer has a
history on bingo bowling to whet your             roof! Courtesy Stephen Gates
appetite for the upcoming event in March.
     Speaking of appetite, there is also a
full report on the Great Pavlova Bake-off.
If you missed out on that fabulous tasting
session, don’t worry – we’ve included a
recipe from our youngest participants,
Eliza and Tannis Hydesmith.
     And to settle an ongoing argument –
“Who concocted the pavlova?” – we’ve
included a piece that tries to set the
record straight.
     You might also notice that we’ve got a
few suggestions for the next time you ven-
ture south. And there is word on the
street that a new Aussie restaurant is
opening up in Winnipeg very soon. Not
OUTBACK – this one’s the real deal!
     Finally, Hostellers International is
holding HI-Ball 2005. The Australian
theme promises to provide great Aussie
music, delicious treats from Molly’s, fabu-

                                                      Proud Supplier to the HI Ball 2005!
lous opportunities to sample wines from
Lindeman’s, and some terrific door prizes
that have to be seen to be believed. Sup-
port this great cause by buying a ticket
     Read the February Yarn from start to
finish, and be sure to join us for a spot of
bowling on March 19!
                                                 Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                             390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                               ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                     hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                         February 2005
all things social in the club
                                                                                                         to eat while the rest of us salivated! Stay
                                                                                                         tuned for the Great Meat Pie Bake-off tenta-
                                                                                                         tively scheduled for next Australia Day / Wai-
                                                                                                         tangi Day.

                                                                                                         What’s ahead ...

                                                                                                         Bingo Glow Bowling
                                                                                                             Saturday March 19, 7:00 pm
                                                                                                         Bingo Bowling is fun, fun, fun! Read the
                                                                                                         front page article and then gather up your
                                                         Judges had the best job of the night.           friends, family, neighbours and colleagues
                                                   (NZ rep) and Jenny Gates (Oz rep) – arrived           and join us at Windsor Park Lanes. No expe-
                                                   at their decisions after tasting a small sam-         rience necessary – this event is fun for
What’s happened ...                                ple of each one and making notes and                  everyone! Adults – $11.50, Under 12 – $9.00.
                                                   awarding points in three categories: Presen-          Price includes 4 games of bowling, shoe
Australia Day / Waitangi Day                       tation, Taste and Sex Appeal. Then, while the         rental and light supper. Refreshments will
    Saturday January 29                            judges tallied the points and decided the             be available at the bar. There will also be a
More than 40 people gathered at the Kenas-         winners, the very hungry revellers descend-           silent auction and prizes for individual game
ton Recreation Centre to mark these impor-                                      ed on the pavs           winners. Anyone wishing to participate in
tant days in our respective countries’ history.                                 and consumed as          an evening of immense fun should call Terry
With flags flying and pavs on display, the                                      much as they             at 663-6549.
room was abuzz with pride, humour and                                           could.                        We are also looking for donations to the
culinary expectations. While each pavlova                                           First     place      silent auction, so if you are willing to help
was being officially entered into the Bake-                                     went to Neville          out in that department, please call Terry for
Off (see below for all the details), friends                                    Morton         (pic-     that as well (663-6549).
mingled and conversed, or tried their hand                                      tured, left) and it
at ping-pong.                                                                   must be said that        ANZAC DAY service, potluck
    After the singing of the national                                           it was his first         dinner and casino night
anthems, we settled into the Oz/Kiwi Quiz.                                      ever      pavlova.            Friday April 22, 6:30 pm
There was much head scratching, confused                                        Neville        won       Once again the ANZAC Day Service will be
looks and groans as we dug deeply into our         because his pav: “left you wanting more” and          held at the Western Canada Aviation Muse-
mental libraries to come up with answers           had great texture, good crust, and very               um, 958 Ferry Road. Following the service,
that absolutely                                    tasty”. Indeed, one judge commented: “I               there will be a potluck supper, followed by a
tested our knowl-                                  could get lucky!”                                     Fantasy Casino night, with gaming tables.
edge. Winners                                          Second place went to 6-year-old Eliza             Please bring enough food for you and a guest
Jan and Mick                                       Hydesmith, who was ably helped in the cook-           so that everyone who comes will be able to
Weaver        (pic-                                ing by her younger sister, Tannis. The two            share and compare and not go away hungry.
tured, right) took                                 girls delivered a colourful, berry-laden pav          This evening is always well attended, and it
the top prize – a                                  that was described by the judges as: “chaotic         is a delight to see our special guests from the
packet of Tim Tams!                                and unique, laden with fruit, attractive in a         Legion and 17 Wing. Absolutely, a good time
    The rest of the evening was focused on         wild way”.                                            is guaranteed! Oh, and note that the chil-
the pavs – a fitting finale to our celebrations!       Third place was a tie between Keith and           dren’s activity room will be open for the
                                                   Susanna LaRue and Lucia Barron. Com-                  occasion. So we know how many will be
Great Pavlova Bake-Off                             ments included: “Just like Mum used to                there, please contact Peter (237-1805,

The Great Pavlova Bake-Off was a delicious         make, secretive, sexy” and “great texture and to confirm
success! There were 12 pavlovas entered in         fruit, colourful, light and fluffy”.                  your attendance.
the “contest”, sporting an array of fruits,            Thanks to Sandy Moyens, Judy Powell,
designs, tastes and sex appeal. Yes – sex          Peter Gilberd, Rob Vernon, Jan and Mick
appeal was one of the prime categories on          Weaver, Neville Morton, Kerry Nowicki, Mar-
which the judges based their decision.             garet Munn, Eliza Hydesmith, Keith and                                   Remember to RSVP to
    As the pavs arrived, they were allocated       Susanna LaRue, and Lucia Barron for taking                              Peter Munn 237-1805 or
a number and placed on the display table to        the time to cook up their pavs, and to Peter                
whet people’s appetites. The three judges –        and Margaret Munn for coordinating the
Bill Pooley (chief judge), Lynley Wesselingh       bake-off. No thanks to the judges – they got

                                                                                                         Decks, Sunrooms and

    Kiwi Installations                                           Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                      Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                   Free in-home/cottage estimates.

February 2005                                                                                 • The Southern Yarn 3
from our Aussie contributors
                                                  tralian of the Year should go to a humanitar-
                                                  ian, community worker or health officer.
                                                                                                     team faces a novel
                                                                                                     new challenge from
                                                  After received a letter telling her she had        New Zealand – mous-
                                                  been nominated for Australian of the Year          tache growing. New
Burger to riches story ends in                    2005, she’d rather it go to someone more           Zealand      supporter
sorrow                                            deserving: “ ...Nicole believes this award is      group     the     Beige
[January 18, 2005, SMH] Charlie Bell’s amaz-      all about celebrating people who are work-         Brigade has urged the
ing journey ended yesterday in his beloved        ing hard in the local community to help oth-       Australians to join in            Beat that! Aussie
home of Sydney, where the former world            ers.” On ya, Nicole!                               the spirit of a mous-        cricket Merv Hughes’
chief of McDonald’s had returned to die.                                                             tache growing chal- famous mug, complete
                                                                                                                                       with moustache.
From wiping tables at a McDonald’s restau-                                                           lenge issued to the
rant in Kingsford, he rose to become chief                                                           Kiwi team for the Twenty20 match between
executive of a company serving 47 million                                                            the two sides in Auckland on February 17.
customers a day. Diagnosed with cancer                                                               The Kiwi team will be wearing the brown-
seven months ago, Mr Bell, 44, returned                                                              and-tan colours its sides wore during the
home from the McDonald’s headquarters in                                                             1980s, and the Beige Brigade – which cele-
                    Chicago in December.                                                             brates that era by wearing the same uniform
                    He had worked for the                                                            – wants both teams to really look the part. It
                    food giant for almost 30                                                         has offered “a lot” of beer to the clubs of Kiwi
                    years, having started at                                                         players sporting moustaches for the match.
                    15 while at Marcellin         Australian of the Year ... Fiona Wood, the burns   But it reckons the Australians also have a
                    College,      Randwick.       doctor who saved hundreds wounded in the Bali      great tradition to emulate, recalling the
                    According      to    col-     bombings, with her family at the awards ceremo-    moustaches of Dennis Lillee, Merv Hughes,
                    leagues, “He was won-         ny. SMH Photo: Andrew Taylor                       Rod Marsh and David Boon. One Australian
                    derful to work with                                                              certain to fit in is Jason Gillespie with his
                    because he was such a         Surgeon captures ‘Australian                       goatee beard.
                    people person. He had         spirit’
Charlie Bell ...    rare talents: he never        [January 26, 2005] The 2005 Australian of          Buyer be “eBay” aware
from cleaning toi-  forgot anybody’s name,        the Year is Dr Fiona Wood, a medical scien-        [February 5, 2005, SMH] Up to 600 users of
lets to world chief and it didn’t matter to       tist and surgeon best known for her spray-on       eBay’s Australian website, including chil-
of McDonald’s.      him where you came            skin treatment of burns victims of the Bali        dren buying their first mobile phone, have
Photo: AP           from.”                        bombs. “I am here tonight as a wife, mother        fallen victim to two separate scams operat-
                                                  of six, surgeon and as an immensely proud          ing from NSW and Victoria. Complaints by
Foster’s $3.1bn bid gets short                    Australian. I have worked with many inspira-       victims including a Sydney man, Paul
shrift                                            tional individuals, colleagues and patients. I     Kneipp, who paid for a phone won at auction
[January 18, 2005, SMH] Southcorp’s board         have had the privilege of seeing the differ-       that was never delivered, prompted a Victori-
has promptly rejected Foster’s $3.1 billion       ence made by many to those less fortunate.         an police investigation into a racket that
takeover deal, describing the offer as inade-     The realisation that we can all choose to          might have hit up to 500 consumers. Anoth-
quate and opportunistic                           make a difference to others remote and in          er investigation by NSW police centres on
and suggesting it could                           need is growing as the Australian Spirit           computer equipment and 100 buyers. The
be an opening bid in the                          shines through. I am proud to be an Aus-           investigations come as eBay faces increasing
campaign to create the                            tralian and will work towards a society            publicity about fraud, which some legitimate
world’s largest quality                           dependent on the integrity of each and             eBay merchants say is affecting their busi-
wine company. Accord-                             everyone of us – because every drop in the         ness. According to the Australia High Tech-
ing to Southcorp chief                            ocean does make a difference.”                     nology Crime Centre, there is “no silver
executive John Ballard, “I                                                                           bullet” to stop all fraud on eBay but that buy-
agree [the] purchase of Southcorp would be        Kiwis’ hair-raising challenge                      ers should be cautious of prices that were too
an excellent strategic fit and that [the] offer   [February 3, 2005, SMH] Hot on the heels of        low, should never pay in cash or by Western
is made in the context of ‘increasingly           Darren Lehmann’s Lycra-clad sprint defeat by       Union, and should “get to know” the seller by
favourable industry trends’ but I do not see      Kiwi Mark Richardson, the Australian cricket       asking questions before they bid.
those factors adequately reflected in [the]
offer price.” The market’s initial reaction was
decisive. Foster’s shares closed 38c lower at
$5.27 as investors feared the Melbourne               Need advice
beer and wine group was overpaying, while
Southcorp stock finished the day 36c                   on RRSPs?
stronger at $4.61 as investors bet a superior
offer would emerge.                                 Investments?
Nicole says no!
[January 23, 2005, The Sun-Herald] Nicole
Kidman might be NSW Australian of the
Year, but she believes the honour of Aus-

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                           February 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                                                                           danger, they overcame their fear to help oth-
                                                                                                           ers. Three recipients of the New Zealand
                                                                                                           Bravery Medal were 12-year-old Ethan
                                                                                                           Kennedy who faced down the man who had
Breakfast for bikers                                                                                       shot his father, Christopher Jowsey from the
[17 February 2005 , NZ Herald] Seven hun-                                                                  RNZAF who saved a man being swept away
dred cyclists met in Wellington’s Civic                                                                    by a torrent during the February floods, and
Square for a free breakfast yesterday to cele-                                                             John Vaughan (deceased) who died while
brate Bike to Work Day. They were treated to                                                               trying to protect his colleagues during a
free bike checks, prizes and goodie bags at                                                                bank robbery. The awards are royal honours,
the breakfast, which was supported by                                                                      and each person who receives one gets a cer-
Wellington City Council. Brooklyn man Jono                                                                 tificate signed by the Queen and the Gover-
Baddiley bikes to work about once a week                                                                   nor-General as well as a distinctive lapel
and often makes a detour to Mt Victoria to                                                                 badge.
stretch out the ride: "It only takes about six       Waiheke Primary School pupils enjoy their tempo-
minutes going into town itself, so it’s not          rary classroom - a teepee loaned by a local resi-     Kaka chick’s 260km flight
really any exercise." Meanwhile, a Green             dent. NZH Photo: Paul Estcourt                        [Feb 1, 2005, NZ Herald] Kupe the young
Party challenge to cycle from Wainuiomata            Learning’s more fun in a teepee                       kaka has staff at Wellington’s Karori Wildlife
to Wellington ran into a hitch when two of           [February 2, 2005, NZ Herald] A crisp new             Sanctuary in a flap after he flew 130 km
the four MPs were lost in Lower Hutt. They           uniform, a shiny badge and a teepee for a             away and then inexplicably came home to
were eventually found and still got to work          classroom ... school has never been so cool           roost. The high-flying native parrot was only
on time.                                             for Waiheke Island youngsters. When a new             four months old and considered too young
                                                     primary school opened on the island yester-           for such a trip when he flew to the National
The flag: survey backs redesign                      day and its 10-classroom block was several            Wildlife Centre at Mt Bruce in Wairarapa
[January 29, 2005, NZ Herald] According to a         weeks away from completion, the 90 pupils             last year. But Kupe proved it was no fluke
new survey, 45.6% of Herald readers favour           and 10 teachers took classes in several               when he made the return trip to the Welling-
changing the New Zealand flag, while 28%             makeshift classrooms, including a tradition-          ton sanctuary eight months later, turning up
want the flag to stay as it is. Those who want-      al North American Indian-style teepee erect-          in January. Sanctuary staff speculated that
ed a change selected three strong con-               ed under the old oak trees. Sitting round             Kupe may have left the sanctuary because he
tenders out of 15 designs – a red, white and         their teacher in a cosy tent was a happy expe-        was not getting enough attention from his
black flag using a koru and the Southern             rience for the school’s Year 8 pupils: “It’s a        parents.
Cross; the Southern Cross and a back-                fun learning environment for groups and
ground of blue-and-white waves; and the              learning should be fun.”
stylised silver fern. However, none of the
designs impressed Sir Edmund Hillary who,
in response to a Weekend Herald inquiry,
                                                     Heroes among us: Top kiwis
                                                     named for NZ Bravery Awards
said he had not seen any that were better
than the existing flag, with which he was
                                                     [January 29, 2005, NZ Herald] Twenty-six
                                                     New Zealanders have been named recipients                       Rugby!
quite happy. Many comments from the sur-
vey concurred with Sir Edmund’s point that
“if it ain’t broken don’t fix it”, but others
                                                     of the NZ Bravery Awards. Some were police
                                                     doing their job and others were ordinary cit-
                                                     izens. Four made the supreme sacrifice, but
strongly felt it was time for a change.              all have one thing in common: faced with
                                                                                                             The Assassins Rugby
   First all-Kiwi Radio Station                                                                              Football Club is des-
   [February 7, 2005, NZ Herald] New Zealand
   musicians past and present gathered in                                                                    perately seeking
   Auckland last night for the launch of Kiwi,
   the country’s first radio station to play 100
                                                                                                             Coach/s for Winnipeg
   per cent local music. Prime Minister Helen                                                                Men and Women’s
   Clark declared the station live at 7:00 pm at
   the Mt Eden Bowling Club, amid loud cheers
                                                                                                             Senior Teams. For
   from a crowd fuelled on good old-fashioned                                                                additional information
   handles of beer. She said it was appropriate the launch was held on Waitangi Day, which “should
   be about celebrating being a Kiwi”. The fact that radio stations already played 18.5 per cent New
                                                                                                             contact Jim Russell,
   Zealand music – close to the voluntary 20 per cent quota – showed the quality of local bands, but         Club President,
   dedicating a radio station to 100 per cent local music was “really leading-edge and could well be
   a world first,” she said. Kiwi is owned by CanWest MediaWorks, which owns television channels
                                                                                                             983-3023 (W) or
   TV3 and C4, and radio stations The Edge, The Rock, More FM, Solid Gold and Radio Pacific. “We             663-4484 (H)
   are dedicated to showcasing the best of New Zealand music and will not shy away from breaking
   new acts and celebrating what is quintessentially ours as a country.” Online streams for New
   Zealand listeners are available at, with plans to extend this worldwide.

February 2005                                                                                   • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Sydney Morning Herald
                                                 property auction, Colin Hugo, of Kings Lang-
                                                 ley, was surprised to see there is a refrigera-
                                                                                                   Kiwi Shopping
                                                                                                   Shop          New          Zealand          –
                                                 tor. [Feb 2]                             – has been cre-
The Gee-Gnome project: So what will you be                                                         ated to provide a one-stop-shop for all quali-
doing on Australia Day? Patriotic gnomes         Handy ending: Rugby is a very popular sport       ty New Zealand – made consumer products.
will be celebrating at Glenbrook Park in the     in Japan, says Harry Norris, who works at         Several thousand products are currently list-
Blue Mountains. The Australian Gnome Con-        Aichi Shukutoku University. There are pro-        ed and more are added every day. Our goal is
vention begins at 9:00 am when gnomes will       fessional teams sponsored by huge corpora-        to reach out to all NZ ex-pats looking for a
have an opportunity to compete for lavish        tions with sprinklings of former Wallabies        source to buy products from home. They can
prizes. Gnome owners are also welcome to         and All Blacks competing. But they do things      also help us spread the word about Shop
attend. This event is organised by the Rotary    differently over there. Many were shaking         New Zealand. Anything you can do to help us
Club of Lower Blue Mountains. [Jan 25]           their heads in disbelief when the national        reach these New Zealanders would be much
                                                 Top League semi-final between Yamaha and          appreciated.
Positively ducky: As promised, an update         Toyota was drawn at full-time. No extra time          Chris Berryman
from Jean and John Werbeloff on the ducks        was allowed so, with the head of the Japan            Team - Shop New Zealand
living on their Huntleys Cove balcony. As        Rugby Union overlooking, the captains       
reported here, Emily Duck took up residence      decided the outcome with a game of rock,
in a potted lemon tree and was soon joined       scissors, paper. [Feb 8]
by three hyperactive ducklings. After taking
some happy snaps of the new family, Jean
and John kept well away. But when they           walkabout
                                                 a window on the world of travel
recently returned to see how the ducks were
doing they saw nothing.
    Their fears disappeared when they            Something Fishy
looked over the balcony and found the ducks      Want to do something different when you are
exploring the grassy verge three floors          in Sydney next? If you’ve got a wad of cash
below. Did they fall? Were they pushed? They     and heights are not your thing (i.e., Harbour                                    The famous
would like to think the feather-light duck-      Bridge Climb), then consider diving with                                         Balmain Bug
lings simply “floated” down. Shortly after-      sharks at Manly Oceanworld. For a mere $165
wards Emily Duck led her ducklings across        (certified diver) or $220 (novice diver), you     Australian Seafoods in Canada
the road for some frolicking in the nearby       too can hobnob with sharks, rays, turtles and
pond. “What a happy experience,” says Jean.      a bunch of fish. Certainly something to con-          Importers of quality Australian fish and
[Jan 26]                                         sider if you like things out of the ordinary.     fine wines
                                                                                                       Barramundi, Prawns, Bugs
Upper chuck: An anonymous reader has             Customise New Zealand                                 Bulk orders only – 50-200 kg
noticed that when someone vomits on a ride       We cover all of New Zealand and not only one          Prices range from $22 to $37 per kg
at Luna Park staff refer to it as “a protein     region. Depending on your interests and               If you are interested in placing a very
spill”. [Jan 31]                                 requirements we can help you choose desti-        large order on your own, or want to combine
                                                 nations that give you the best NZ experience.     with enough other people to place a large
What’s with the ducks? More suburban             Fifteen years industry experience in New          order, please contact info@downunder-
duck stories. On the morning of Australia        Zealand and more than ten years providing If there is enough interest, they
Day, Mark Cirillo and his two sons were driv-    quality, safe and secure fully customized         are willing to accommodate us. Dean has
ing along Grange Road in Glenhaven when          tours. Every tour is a work of art, starting      asked that you not contact them for small
he noticed a distressed duck pacing up and       with a blank canvas and using our experi-         individual orders. So, let’s band together and
down the gutter. He stopped to investigate. It   ence and expertise of the subject and with        order up a feast fit for a Down Under Club!
soon became apparent by the chirps that her      an eye for detail creating the perfect picture
ducklings had fallen into a stormwater drain.    just for you!
    Damien Cirillo, 14, volunteered to go            Tailored Travel New Zealand Customer
down into the drain to try to save them.         Tours,
Ankle-deep in water, he managed to grab
one, then Mark’s other son, Patrick, 11, found
another baby in the drain on the other side of
the road. They gave up the search after 90
minutes – “the best thing I’ve done all holi-
                                                                                                                 A Billabong
days”, said Damien – but there’s more to this
story. Mother duck was seen later that night
                                                                                                                 in Winnipeg?
by Mark’s sister who lives nearby. By that                                                                       Strewth!
stage she’d found four babies. [Jan 31]                                                                          Stay tuned for info on
                                                                                                                 a new Aussie theme
Is your fridge running? Well, you’d better …                                                                     restaurant opening
The things people leave on trains. Among                                                                         soon in Winnipeg.
the expected brollies and mobile phones
being sold at the forthcoming State Rail lost

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                      February 2005
At last, Aussies admit pavlova                    in Australia. Professor Leach said her copy of          • Special Entertainment by Didgeridoo
defeat                                            the Rangiora book had “the correct name                   Musician: Gerry Gordon
   [NZPA. Courtesy Lucia Barron]                  with the correct ingredients and correct                • prizes for the best Down Under Costume
                                                  method” for cooking the pavlova cake, which             • and more!
      hey might have won more Olympic             was named after famed Russian ballerina                   The HI-BALL promises to be The social

T     medals, but the Aussies have finally
      conceded the pavlova is a Kiwi concoc-
tion. Well, an Australian food historian has –
                                                  Anna Pavlova, who toured Australia and New
                                                  Zealand in 1926.
                                                                                                        event of the season, hosted by HI-Manitoba,
                                                                                                        the Down Under Club of Winnipeg, HOT 103,
                                                                                                        and Travel Cuts.
and an Australian Broadcasting Corporation                                                                  So, mark your calendar now and plan to
television programme has agreed with him                                                                party at the HI-Ball 2005: GET DOWN
that those “blasted Kiwis” have won this                                                                UNDER on March 26. Tickets are only $10
round of the raging trans-Tasman debate.                                                                and are available through the HI-Travel Shop
    They couldn’t do much else, because a                                                               and Regional Office at 701B Westminster, or
New Zealander has come up with proof of the                                                             by calling 784-1131, or by email at
pudding’s existence in NZ much earlier than                                                   
the date the Aussies claim it originated in                                                                 Hostelling International - Manitoba is a
Perth. But though Helen Leach of Otago Uni-                                                             not-for-profit charitable association that
versity says the pavlova recipe in her copy of                                                          operates HI-Winnipeg Ivey House Hostel
the 1933 Rangiora Mothers’ Union cookery                                                                here in Winnipeg, The hostel welcomes
book is a “minor victory”, she admits it won’t                                                          almost 8,500 guests annually and Australian
end the argument. She is now researching a                                                              backpackers comprise the top inbound mar-
1929 recipe that may give the NZ claims even                                                            ket! HI also runs educational programs for
more credence over the Aussies’ Perth pav.        It’s Party Time!                                      inbound and outbound travellers and young
    The Australians have long claimed the         Hostelling International – Manitoba is                people on the benefits of travel to individu-
light and fluffy meringue dessert as their        holding its first ever HI-BALL on Saturday,           als - and society. The HI mission is to “help
own, based on a cake Bert Sachse baked at         March 26, 2005 at the Franco-Manitobain               all, especially the young, gain a greater
Perth’s Esplanade Hotel in Perth in 1935.         Centre. This year’s theme is GET DOWN                 understanding of peoples, places and cul-
New Zealanders have disputed that, saying         UNDER! featuring everything Aussie:                   tures through hostelling”. All proceeds are
their grandparents were scoffing pavlovas          • Music from the latest/greatest Aus-                to benefit our charitable association, HI-Win-
much earlier.                                        tralian Bands                                      nipeg Hostel, and the New Winnipeg Hostel
    The ABC’s George Negus Tonight pro-            • Aussie Beer and Wine (Lindeman’s tast-             Development Plan.
gramme canvassed both sides of the debate,           ing booth)                                             If you would like to volunteer on one of
with Professor Leach and Australian food           • Molly’s Meat Pies, Sausage Rolls, Pavlo-           our sub-committees, at the event (and
historian Michael Symons giving their                va, and Anzac Biscuits                             receive free admission!) or make a donation
views. Mr Symons conceded that New                 • Silent Auction of dozens of great prizes           to the silent auction, please contact Stefan
Zealanders had a recipe, often called                for intrepid travellers                            Hirsch or Alison Letourneau at 784-1131. Tax
meringue cake but sometimes called a               • Hosts Ace Burpee of HOT 103 and Jenny              receipts for your charitable donation can be
pavlova, before anything like that was named         Gates of the Down Under Club                       mailed to all donors.

                                              Weet-Bix                kidsClub
                                                 Aussie and Kiwi kids are Weet-Bix kids!
                                                                                            Full recipe page is on page 9 of
                                                                                                  the electronic (pdf) version
                                                              Serves 6-8                                   of this newsletter!
                                                              4 egg whites (at room temperature)
    A pavlova for kids, by kids!                              1 cup caster sugar
    When six-year-old Eliza Hydesmith and her sister          1/2 teaspoon of imitation vanilla essence
    Tannis started looking through their new Kids’            1/2 teaspoon vinegar
    Microwave Cookbook, they decided to enter the             whipped cream and fruit
    Australia Day and Waitangi Day Pavlova Contest.
    “A pav in the microwave?” doubted their parents,      Cut out a circle of baking paper, whip the egg
    but pressed for time and willing to experiment,       whites, slowly add sugar and beat, then vanilla
    they started less than an hour before the DUCW        and vinegar, beat well, plop it on to the paper,
    pavlova contest began. It was lots of fun and tast-   into microwave. Cook on high up to 2 minutes,
    ed great. We overcooked ours but the judges still     depending on the power of your microwave,
    thought it earned second place! See the full kids     then leave for 10 minutes. Remove and cool.
    recipe (with step-by-step pictures) on page 9 of      Peel off the paper and top with whipped cream
    the electronic version of this issue of The Yarn.     and fruit. Share. Good on ‘ya, mates.

February 2005                                                                                • The Southern Yarn 7
All our best to Anne Keatch who has not been
                                                  southern humour
up to her usual self these past few weeks.
We’re glad to hear she’s feeling much better
and hope to see her out and about very soon.      Gotta Love Drunks
                                                       [courtesy Ed and Elaine Goldberg]
                                                    A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the
GoWalkabout Travel Ltd.                               morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man
Some great deals out there for travel home,
based on a 1-month stay. There are also great
                                                      gets up and goes to the door where a drunken
                                                      stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a                                        DO
deals on one ways and 3-month maximum
                                                    “Not a chance,” says the husband. “It is 3 o’clock in the
    Based on departures between April 25
and June 16, and then again from August 1 to
                                                      morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.
                                                    “Who was that?” asked his wife.
December 2. All prices are based on a Sun-          “Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.                                             Win
day to Wednesday departure and return (add          “Did you help him?” she asks.                                                                    Man
CAD $50 per direction if you want to travel         “No, I did not, it is 3 o’clock in the morning and it is
on a Thursday to Saturday):                           pouring out there!”
    Winnipeg to Chicago to LA or San Fran to        “Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t
Sydney or Melbourne: CAD$1,384 + taxes                you remember about three months ago when we
(estimate approximately CAD$280), United              broke down and those two guys helped us? I think
Airlines (earn Aeroplan Points)                       you should help him, and you should be ashamed of         Board of Directors
    For those of you who need to go to both           yourself!”                                                President:
Aus and NZ or just NZ, the fare is:                 The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out      Lynley Wesselingh
CAD$1,569 + taxes (via Sydney or Melbourne            into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark.       Vice President:
                                                                                                                Terry Roberts
enroute to NZ)                                      “Hello, are you still there?”
     You can stopover in Oz before continu-         “Yes,” comes back the answer.                               Secretary:
                                                                                                                Judy Powell
ing on to NZ (cities in NZ are Auckland,            “Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
Wellington and Christchurch).                       “Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.               Jenny Gates
    For those of you thinking of heading            “Where are you?” asks the husband.
home for Christmas, if you can get out before       “Over here on the swing!” replies the drunk.                Peter Debenham
December 2, you will get to spend Christmas                                                                     Social Coordinator:
and New Year’s there at a decent price.           Gotta w(h)ine about WalMart                                   Peter Munn
    These fares last year flew out the door           [courtesy Ron Rochester]                                  Membership:
and I am sure they will again this year. If you   Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a         Lucia Barron
need any more info, please do not hesitate to     new discount item: Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The
contact me.                                       world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo     The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
    Cheers!                                       Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at      get it write.
    Dianne Hall – Director                        an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. While wine con-       Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
    GoWalkabout Travel Ltd.                       noisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-
    Phone: (780) 428-3798                         mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a
    Fax: (780) 428-1972                           market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of        Layout and design:
    Cell: (780) 554-3798                          marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I.       hydesmith communications
    Toll Free: 1-877-328 3798                     She said: “The right name is important.” So, here we go:

                                                       The top 13 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:            The electronic version of this

                                                        13. Chateau Traileur Parc
                                                        12. White Trashfindel
                                                        11. Big Red Gulp
                                                                                                                newsletter typically contains a
                                                                                                                few extra pages of content (in
                                                                                                                colour!), and can be downloaded
podcasting, personal radio programs on the web,         10. Grape Expectations                                  in PDF format from the website.
not professional, but interesting banter. Very Aussie.  9. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”                     A big thank you to all of our                                      8. NASCARbernet                                         contributors within the club,
Sydney Catchment Authority’s website for up-to-date     7. Chef Boyardeaux                                      from overseas and information
information on Sydney’s water supplies                  6. Peanut Noir                                          services.                                           5. Chateau des Moines
Manitoba Five Pin Bowling Federation, Inc., for those   4. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!                    THE DOWN UNDER
who are serious about their game                        3. World Championship Riesling                          CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.                                  2. Sams Shiraz                                          Station Main, PO Box 1655,
a world of fours and sixes, wonderful fielding, old     And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ...             Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
school New Zealand cricket kits, and a dedicated        1. Nasti Spumante                                       1-204-832-4405 email:
commitment to the New Zealand cricketing cause                                                                                            The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served
cricket, just the way you like it!                with both white meat (possum) and red meat (squirrel).

8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                        February 2005
From the Kids’ Microwave Cookbook, by Family Circle. Murdoch Books, Australia. This is a fun, easy step-by-step cookbook, aimed at kids. If you’re 10 or older,
you might even be able to do some of these recipes all on your own. We used a hand whisk instead of a blender or electric beater. You may want to try lower
and/or shorter settings as the recipes are tested on 600-700 watt ovens, and most ovens are now often rated at 1000 watts or higher.

9 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                              Online supplement
            The                                                                                                                          March 2005

Southern Yarn
         NEWSLETTER                      OF        THE   D O W N         U N D E R          CLUB         OF     WINNIPEG               INC.

downundercalendar                      2 0 0 5

Bingo Glow Bowling
Saturday March 19, 7:00 pm
Windsor Park Lanes,
cnr Elizabeth Rd and Drake,
St. Boniface
Bingo Bowling is one of the most fun events
in our year. Invite your friends, family,
neighbours and colleagues, No experience
necessary – this event is fun for everyone!
                                                     Still waters ... Lake Waikaremoana gives a strong sense of what early New Zealand may have been like.
Adults – $11.50, Under 12 – $9.00. Price
                                                     Photo: Tourism New Zealand
includes 4 games of Bowling, shoe rental and
light supper. Refreshments will be available at      Going home from an outsider’s perspective
the bar. There will also be a silent auction and
prizes for individual game winners. Anyone                   eading down under? Catching up               the mist” because of the mist that often
wishing to participate in an evening of
immense fun should call Terry at 663-6549.
And if you are willing to donate silent auction
                                                     H       with family and friends? Visiting
                                                             your usual haunts? Why not take the
                                                     time to go off the beaten track? Do something
                                                                                                          shrouds the lake.
                                                                                                               Or you might decide to sleep under the
                                                                                                          stars in the Australian outback — somewhere
items, please call Terry for that as well.           different?                                           near Alice Springs, the West MacDonnell
                                                           In NZ, there are lots of unique and            Ranges and Uluru. Pack the car with swags
APRIL                                                relaxing opportunities, such as the nine             and an Esky of snags, beer and tomatoes and
ANZAC Day service,                                   Great Walks. These are the NZ Department of          head off in search of the red, corrugated
potluck dinner and casino night,                     Conservation’s premier walking tracks that           roads of the real outback, just like in the pic-
Friday April 22, 6:30 pm                             take trampers (hikers) through areas of              tures. Camp by the billabong surrounded by
Join us for our most important event of the          some of the best scenery in the country.             reeds, eucalyptus trees and rocky red hills.
year – our ANZAC Day service at the Western              The majesty and remoteness of one of             It’s the kind of place where all is good in the
Canada Aviation Museum, 958 Ferry Road.              these Walks – Lake Waikaremoana in Te Ure-           world – a world without mobile coverage and
The service will be followed by a potluck            wera National Park – gives a powerful sense          car horns, and where the waft of a campfire
dinner and then the infamous DUCW casino.            of how early New Zealand might have been.            spells h-o-l-i-d-a-y.
Be sure to bring enough food for you and                 The park is the largest single block of               There’s nothing better than going home
guest so we know there will be enough food           native forest left in the North Island. The          to familiar faces and sights. Still, if you get
for everyone who comes along. Contact                dense beech forest cloaks the mountains and          the chance to go home from an outsider’s
Peter ( or ring            runs down to the edge of the vast lake, whose        perspective, it might open up a whole new
237-1805) to confirm your attendance.                name translates from the Maori as “the sea           world to you.
                                                     of      rippling
                                                     waters”      but
                                                     which is still Feet on the ground ... the
                                                     and deep.           base walk shows off
                                                         It’s remote Uluru’s stark beauty.
                                                     by New Zealand Photo: SMH
                                                     standards and
                                                     the dense bush
                                                     makes it feel
                                                     even more so.
       the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                     The      tangata
                 Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                     whenua         or
       Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                     Maori tribe of
                 telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                     the area, the
                                                     Tuhoe people,
                                                     are known as
                                                     the “children of
editorially                                             t this month’s executive meeting, we            tralia wines and meat pies, and visit with

    yours     Jenny Gates
                                                A       got an update on how things are
                                                        going in the Club. Lucia wasn’t
                                                there, but had a great excuse – still travel-
                                                                                                        other club members who will be attending
                                                                                                        or working at the event. I have heard there
                                                                                                        are a lot of amazing prizes to win in the
                                                ling around down under!                                 silent auction. So if you are feeling lucky or
                                                     Peter Debenham brought us up to speed              just want a night out, mark it on your calen-
      ots of interest-                          with a mid-term financial report. Jenny is              dars. Contact Jenny (831-6527) for tickets,

L     ing stuff hap-
      pening both
here and down
                                                still working on correlating the data from
                                                all the surveys that have been sent back, so
                                                thank you to everyone who took the time to
                                                                                                        which are just $10 each.
                                                                                                            February was a quiet month for the Club
                                                                                                        without a social event, but we will be mak-
under.                                          fill them out. Seems a few extras came in               ing up for that at the Bingo Bowl. Come on
    With our Bingo                              recently, which means a bit more collating              out and knock those pins down. Peter Munn
Bowling event just                              required before we can give you a report.               is currently looking into organizing another
around the corner,                              Jenny promises all will be completed by the             boat cruise, and yes, there is going to be a
we will have a                                  April issue of the Yarn!                                golf tournament this summer, so get out to
great time with many people there to join            There is a new restaurant opening soon             the golf dome to warm up that swing.
in the fun. Be sure to call Peter ASAP          in Osborne Village called The Billabong:                      I will be attending the Annual General
(237-1805 or                                    Australian Bar and Bistro. It’s already caus-                     Meeting for the Folk Arts council to reserve          ing a bit of interest in the Village, with its                        later this month, and will give
your spot on a team!                            Australia-style food, beverages and decor.                              an update in the next newslet-
    And don’t forget about the ANZAC Day        We’ll let you                                                            ter. As always, if there is any-
commemoration coming up on April 26.            know when it           president’s                                        thing you would like to see
See the cover story about that in the April
                                                opens, and will
                                                include a write-
                                                                          reportLynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                                          on the social calendar or
                                                                                                                           would like the club to dis-
    Meanwhile, seems the ravages of             up about it in                                                                 cuss, feel free to give me
nature are having their way with Australia      the newsletter once we’ve had a chance                                            a call at 275-7631.
and New Zealand. Cyclones, tornados and         to experience it.                                                                       I hope you all
earthquakes, all within a few days of each           The Down Under Club is also one                                                have a great Easter.
other. Read all about it in the news on         of the sponsors for the HI-Ball event
pages 4 and 5.                                  (see page 7). This will be a good
    Also, you’ll find information on arti-      opportunity to try some good Aus-
cles out of New Zealand about the govern-
ment’s creative new campaign to bring
ex-pats back to the Land of the Long

                                                    Strictly Classified!
White Cloud. Seems there is a bit of a
brain-drain, which has inadvertently led
to more work opportunities for Kiwis back
    And royalty has been in abundance,          If you want to advertise in The Southern Yarn, please contact Jenny (,
with visits by Princess Mary and Crown          831-6527) for all the rates. We accept anything from a business card size ($20) to a full-page ad ($80)
Prince Frederik of Belgium to Australia,        for your business or something that needs special emphasis. (Members get a 10% discount on these
and by Prince Charles to both Australia         ads.) And starting in April, we will also accept miscellaneous classified ads for just $10 each (usually up
and New Zealand.                                to 10 lines) available to the general membership. Whether you’ve got stuff to sell (i.e., furniture, cars,
    Be sure to check out page 7 for all the     books, toys), want to let people know about an upcoming garage sale, or need to promote for-profit
information about the fund raiser on            events outside the Club, this is the spot for you. Send your submission by mail to: PO Box 1655, Stn
March 26 organised by Hostellers Inter-         Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6, or email to (subject: strictly classified).
national to raise money for a new loca-
tion. The theme of the HI-Ball is Australia

                                                           March into Molly’s for a delicious
and with Aussie treats, wine, beer and
music, as well as a few items from the

                                                                         meat or fruit pie!
Down Under Club, it promises to be a
great event. Call Jenny (831-6527) for tick-
ets, which are priced at only $10.
    Although we are getting a few flakes
every now and then, spring is definitely
on our doorstep. Before we know it, there
will be little sprigs of green and buds of
flowers everywhere we look!
                                                 Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                              390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                                ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                      hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                  March 2005
socialite                                         and make it available to all our members for
                                                  future reference.
all things social in the club
What’s ahead ...
                                                  Folklorama Fotos
                                                  All of the hundreds of photos from the 2004            cross
                                                                                                         contributions from
                                                  Folklorama have been removed from the
  Bingo Glow Bowling                              DUCW website because they take up too                  The Southern Cross Group
  Saturday March 19, 7:00 pm                      much space. Rest assured, however, that they 
  Windsor Park Lanes                              have been saved on several discs which you
  (cnr Elizabeth Rd. and Drake,                   are welcome to borrow – when you leave a               Australian Expatriates Inquiry
  St. Boniface)                                   $20 deposit that will be fully refunded upon           Report Tabled in Canberra
Come and join in the fun with the unique          their safe return. The $20 covers the cost to          The Australian Senate’s Legal and Constitu-
Canadian sport of 5-pin bowling. All the          replace the CDs and the time taken to make             tional References Committee tabled its
details are on page one!                          the copies. Contact Jenny (831-6527,                   Report in the Inquiry into Australian Expa-
                                         for more infor-              triates in Canberra on March 8, 2005. The
  ANZAC Day, Friday April 22,                     mation.                                                168-page Report can be accessed at:
  Western Canada Aviation                                                                      
  Museum, 6:30 pm                                 Working In ...                                         expats03/report/report.pdf
  Commemoration, Potluck Supper,                  And if you are looking to find work in Aus-                “In the same way that most expatriate
  Casino Night                                    tralia and New Zealand, we have copies of              Australians still embrace Australia as their
We will be celebrating ANZAC Day on Friday        the Working In ... series that is jam-packed           home, we should embrace our expatriate
April 22, at the Western Canada Aviation          with business descriptions and contact                 community as part of the Australian nation,
Museum. Time is 6.30 pm, and it will be fol-      information, as well as general info on New            and recognise that our expatriates are an
lowed by a Pot-Luck supper, and later by our      Zealand. You are welcome to borrow these –             important part of Australian society.
fun-filled Casino Night entertainment.            when you leave a $40 deposit on each that                  “The Senate Committee has made 16 rec-
Please be sure to bring enough food for your-     will be fully refunded upon their safe return.         ommendations. They include the establish-
selves and our special guests, as well as a bit   The $40 covers the cost of replacing each              ment of a dedicated government information
extra for any members of the public who           book and the mailing from down under. Con-             and services website portal for overseas Aus-
come for the commemoration and would like         tact Jenny (831-6527, info@downunder-                  tralians, and the setting up of a special poli-
to stay for the supper and entertainment for more information.                      cy unit within DFAT to coordinate and
night. Contact Peter Munn for details (237-                                                              consult on diaspora policies.
1805 or We           24-hour Rugby in the USA                                   “Importantly, the Senate Committee also
would love to see you there.                      Not sure if you’ve heard about this already            recommends that the Australian Citizenship
                                                  through different sources, but FoxSports-              Act 1948 be amended to ensure that children
24-hour Relay                                     World has stopped showing Rugby and is                 of people who lost their citizenship under
Although the Club is not putting together         now called the Soccer Channel. If you want to          the now repealed Section 17, as well as chil-
a team for this great event, you are still        see a 24-hour rugby channel on North Amer-             dren of those who renounced their citizen-
welcome to be involved. Team Betty (in            ican programming, take the survey at                   ship under Section 18, become eligible to
honour of Betty Munro-Smith) is looking  The “Rugby                    apply for Australian citizenship by descent.
for members, and you are more than                Channel” requires at least 35,000 positive             These recommendations go beyond the
welcome to be part of their team. Contact the     replies. Complete the survey, and encourage            changes which the Government has already
Society for Manitobans with Disabilities at       your friends, family and anyone who you                explicitly said it will make to the Australian                             think will be interested in the channel to do          Citizenship Act 1948, announced on 7 July
                                                  the same.                                              2004, although no legislation has been
Got stuff?                                            Greg Mc Fadden,                      tabled yet toward realising the 7 July 2004
If you have any children’s clothing, books or     (* The DUCW does not officially endorse this sur-      announcement.

toys, any CDs or tapes, or other down under       vey, but as far as we can tell, it’s legitimate.)          “The March 2005 Report marks a funda-
items that you would like to donate to the                                                               mental shift in thinking among Australia’s
Down Under Club so that members can more                                                                 federal parliamentarians concerning the
easily access them, contact Jenny (831-6527,                                                             entitlement of Australia’s overseas citizens and we’ll                                   Remember to RSVP to                to be engaged in the electoral process.”
arrange to get them from you. It would be a                          Peter Munn 237-1805 or                  For more information, go to:
shame to see these items thrown out or lost                
if there is someone else who would like to                                                     
use them. We’ll start up an inventory of stuff

                                                                                                            Decks, Sunrooms and

    Kiwi Installations                                          Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                         Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                      Free in-home/cottage estimates.

March 2005                                                                                    • The Southern Yarn 3
from our Aussie contributors
                                                     children during an impromptu walk in Syd-
                                                     ney yesterday. The Australian-born royal
                                                                                                         plunged the Prince deep into outback Aus-
                                                                                                         traliana. Not that much has changed in the
                                                     made a private visit to a women’s shelter in        Alice since the Prince last visited several
Cloned cow: Aussie scientists’                       Sydney’s eastern suburbs. As she emerged            years ago (when Lady Diana was still on his
world-first                                          she was drawn by the screams and waves of           arm). The town still prays for rain, the boats
[February 17, 2005, SMH] Australian scien-           hundreds of schoolchildren gathered across          still race on sand and the men – and women
tists today revealed they have cloned the            the road. Clutching flowers and dressed in a        – still drink beer. And that was that. Then it
world’s first cow produced using a technique         pink floral skirt, white top and white tailored     was back to the big smoke. Well, Melbourne.
known as serial nuclear transfer. Brandy, a          jacket, Princess Mary walked over to the
healthy Holstein-Friesian calf, was born just        crowd, trailed by officials. She spent 15 min-      Actors Guy Pearce
before Christmas and created by researchers          utes chatting, shaking hands and accepting          and Craig McLach-
from Monash Institute of Medical Research            flowers from the schoolchildren lined up            lan and pop stars
in Melbourne and the Genetics Australia              along a high wall. “Thank you for coming to         Jason Donovan,
Cooperative. The cells used to create Brandy         see me,” she told children as she prepared to       Kylie Minogue, Natal-
underwent two rounds of nuclear transfer in          leave. Yesterday’s visit to the shelter was on      ie Imbruglia, Daniel
the cloning procedure, instead of only one,          behalf of the Australian Red Cross Women’s          MacPherson, Holly
before they developed into an embryo ready           Health Program.                                     Valance and Delta
for implantation into a surrogate cow. Dolly,                                                            Goodrem all found
the sheep born in 1997, was the world’s first        Charles in the                                      their feet on Neigh-
animal produced using standard nuclear               out house                                           bours.
transfer. Since then, there have been limited        [March 3, 2005,
improvements in the efficiencies of cloning,         SMH] Man visits                                     Aussie battler
with very few implanted cloned embryos sur-          dunny. That basical-                                [March 14, 2005, SMH] Axed and ridiculed
viving full-term pregnancies.                        ly was the headline,                                in its first year, Neighbours has gone on to
                                                     the picture, the                                    become a national institution. Launched by
                                                     story     that    the                               the Seven Network on March 18, 1985,
                                                     world’s media were                                  Neighbours struggled for four months before
                                                     waiting for. And, to A blueblood near the toi-      a quiet, ignominious cancellation. In an
                                                     their delight, Prince let seat ... Charles.         extraordinary move, Channel Ten bought the
                                                     Charles did not dis- Photo: Glenn Campbell          show, relaunching it to an indifferent audi-
                                                     appoint them. Once,                                 ence and skeptical critics. But not only did
                                                     twice, three times he looked sheepishly at          Neighbours survive to tell the tale, this week
                                                     the unassuming backyard shed, searching             it celebrates its 20th year on air. At 4,675
                                                     perhaps for some hidden symbolism lurking           episodes, it has become the longest-running
                                                     within. Then, after taunting the media with a       primetime soap in Australia, and the second-
Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark waves to the        quick circumnavigation, he opened the door          longest running in the world, behind
waiting crowd as he arrives with his wife Princess   and disappeared inside, emerging moments            Britain’s Coronation Street. Sold to 57 coun-
Mary at an official luncheon in Sydney. Photo:       later with a big grin on his face. “Don’t forget    tries, the success of the series over two
Reuters                                              to wash your hands, your majesty,” a voice in       decades speaks for itself. “Neighbours is a
                                                     the crowd shouted. The visit to the odour-          relevant contemporary show. It’s still telling
Mary goes walkabout                                  less, fly-less, waterless toilet at the Centre      stories that are relevant to you and me, to
[March 3, 2005, SMH] Princess Mary was               for Appropriate Technology was the improba-         people in this country and the way they live
cheered by hundreds of waving, delighted             ble highlight of a flying visit to the Alice that   their lives.”

Darwin rocked by earthquake                                                                                       Darwin prepares for worst
[March 3, 2005, SMH] Darwin has been                                                                         [March 13, 2005, SMH] Darwin res-
rocked by an earthquake measuring 7.1                                                                        idents are preparing for the worst as
on the Richter scale. A government                                                                           category-four Cyclone Ingrid moves
agency said the quake struck at 8.21pm                                                                       toward the city. The destructive
(CST) and its epicentre was in the Banda                                                                     storm, with winds gusting up to 235
Sea near Indonesia. There were no imme-                                                                      km/h, was this afternoon 160 km
diate reports of damage but the quake                                                                        northeast of Darwin, and was track-
was felt across the city and at least 140                                                                    ing along the north coast of the
km from Darwin. It was the biggest in                                                                        Northern Territory. It was expected
several years in the Banda Sea, but the                                                                      to hit the Tiwi Islands, directly north
quake was unlikely to have done any sig-                                                                     of the city. Ingrid was moving west
nificant damage and “very unlikely to cause a tsunami”. A Northern             at 12 km/h, however, only the southern edge of the cyclone was
Territory police spokeswoman said there were no reports of injuries,           expected to affect the city.
evacuations or damage and Darwin was carrying on as normal.                                                       Darwin from the air, photo: James Popple

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                March 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                     Support for New Zealand Symphony Orchestra
                                                     [March 11, 2005,] Prime Minister and Minister of Arts, Culture and
Horse sense                                          Heritage Helen Clark announced $400,000 funding to support the New Zealand Sym-
[March 6, 2005, SMH] New Zealand road                phony Orchestra’s largest ever international tour: “This is an exciting project for the
safety authorities have recruited a racehorse        NZSO, and I am particularly pleased that we have been able to make funding available
to help a campaign against drink drivers.            in support of this international tour. The Cultural Diplomacy International Programme
The thoroughbred named Dontdrinkand-                 recognises the significant value of showcasing New Zealand cultural activities on the
drive is being prepared for its first race next      world stage, presenting ourselves as a culturally diverse and contemporary nation, with
month after naming rights for the galloper           a strong and unique cultural heritage. The NZSO will be excellent cultural ambassa-
were bought by the Land Transport Safety             dors, performing a diverse repertoire which includes original New Zealand music, at the
Authority and the police, the New Zealand            world famous BBC Proms in London, the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam and at the World
Herald reported yesterday. “The theory is            Expo in Aichi, Japan.
that the vision of Dontdrinkanddrive thun-           To take on such a tour
dering down the home straight in a blur of           is a great achievement
police colours will be a timely reminder for         for the orchestra and I
punters watching, and enjoying a pint or two,        wish them every suc-
at the racecourse or the pub,” the paper said.       cess.”
Transport Safety Minister Harry Duynhoven
said: “Every time this racehorse’s name is
mentioned we get a free advertisement
against drink driving. Brilliant.”
                                                     New Zealand Symphony
6.1 quake jolts North and South                         Orchestra performs.
Islands                                               Photo: Wellington Con-
[March 14, 2005, NZ Herald] An earthquake                    vention Centre
measuring 6.1 on the Richter scale shook the
North Island and parts of the upper South
Island early today. The strong quake was
centred in the Tasman Sea, 160 km north-          With the amount of iron and wood flung             la Parker Bowles. Earlier the Prince stopped
west of Wellington at a depth of 150 km. The      round by the twister, townspeople last night       at the Mountain View Primary School in the
quake hit at 4:08 am, and because of its loca-    were calling it a miracle that no one was          Auckland suburb of Mangere Bridge, where
tion in the South Taranaki Bight, affected        killed, although three people were injured.        he was mobbed by a bevy of suburban moth-
many parts of both islands. The quake was         The clean-up began immediately but resi-           ers. At the school Prince Charles visited
felt in Wellington and as far south as            dents estimate it will be weeks before life        classrooms and planted a golden totara cho-
Christchurch. It followed a minor tremor of       gets back to normal.                               sen because it could live for 100 years and
2.9, located 120 km north of Dunedin yester-                                                         because of its association with Maori cul-
day, at 8.19 pm.                                                                                     ture, said principal, Sue McLachlan. He
                                                                                                     received a spirited powhiri and a welcome in
                                                                                                     seven languages from the children.

                                                                                                     Castaway sea snake faces
                                                                                                     wriggly release wrangle
                                                                                                     [March 11, 2005, NZ Herald] A highly-ven-
                                                                                                     omous sea snake washed up on an Auckland
                                                                                                     beach is ready to be returned to the wild –
                                                                                                     but experts are at a loss as to where they
                                                                                                     should release it. Usually found in tropical
                                                  At the Auckland War Memorial Museum. The           waters, sea snakes are occasionally washed
A damaged vehicle after it was rolled down the    Prince wore a kahuweka and piupiu, watched by      up around New Zealand but suffer in colder
street by the tornado. Photo: Fotopress           Waitara weaver Whero Bailey. Photo: Greg Bowker    water. They are often sick or dead by the time
                                                                                                     they get here. This one – of the yellow-bellied
Tornado leaves trail of havoc                     Royal fans appeal for Camilla                      variety – was found at Muriwai Beach on the
[March 11, 2005, NZ Herald] A tornado             visit                                              west coast last year. Staff at Kelly Tarlton’s
swept through Greymouth yesterday after-          [March 11, 2005, NZ Herald] Prince Charles         have lavished care on the animal, including
noon, leaving nine families homeless and          has promised to do his best to bring his new       feeding it ground-up fish through a straw,
causing millions of dollars of damage. It just    wife with him on his next tour of New              and it is the first to have survived long
missed the main shopping centre and twist-        Zealand. As he prepared to leave Auckland          enough to be set free. Locations touted so far
ed its way up the Grey River before crossing      Botanic Gardens where he formally opened a         include beyond Great Barrier Island or the
to a lagoon across town and up into the hills.    children’s garden yesterday he was                 Poor Knights Islands Marine Reserve, north
It cut a half-kilometre-wide swathe that          swamped with congratulations and best              of Whangarei. Around 35 sea snakes have
ended with clusters of roofing iron dotted        wishes for his controversial marriage next         been seen along New Zealand’s shores since
through the green hills behind Greymouth.         month to longtime lover and divorcee Camil-        1930.

March 2005                                                                                 • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Sydney Morning Herald
                                                  stressed that there were only “days until
                                                  Christmas”. Well, that’s true enough. 288, to
                                                                                                     Kia Ora!
                                                  be precise. [Mar 11]
Busted bust. Derek Brazil wants the person
who stole his bike from Kippax Street, Surry      Lose change. Australia and New Zealand             Kiwis, come home! [Part 1]
Hills, on Wednesday to know a thing or two.       dumped their 1c pieces years ago, but now it       [March 13, 2005, NZ Herald] Diana Cook
“Take care, as the brakes do not work, the        seems the 5-cent piece in Australia is under       expected to stay away from New Zealand for
chain keeps falling off, and the bearings         consideration as the next coin to go, at least     only a year. After growing up in the small
have gone in the back wheel.” Ah, justice.        according to this debate in Column 8.              Northland town of Kaikohe, the Treasury-
[Mar 14]                                               “All the tollways I use have signs saying     trained economist left a Wellington job for a
                                                  they will not accept five-                            position in Ukraine six years ago. The
Not so enviro-friendly. “How long does it         cent pieces,” writes                                       small-town girl is one of hundreds of
take for a wind-blown, enviro-friendly green      Graham Egan, of                                              thousands of skilled New Zealan-
bag to decay in the bush? [Column 8, Satur-       Kirrawee. “When                                                 ders the Government wants to
day]. The answer is so long that it may as        did the five-cent                                                 lure home. “I do miss family
well be never,” writes Suzanne Gavrilovic, of     piece cease to                                                      and friends and I think there
Epping. “These bags are made of a tough           be legal ten-                                                        would be interesting career
polypropylene, an environmental disaster if       der?           My                                                    opportunities for me in New
they become disposable.” Keep a firm grip         u n d e r st a n d -                                                 Zealand. The downside for
on ‘em, seems to be the message here. [Mar        ing is that as                                                       me is New Zealand’s isola-
14]                                               legal tender, no                                                    tion. It feels so small and so
                                                  one can refuse                                                     far away. Travel is pretty
Tracking tomatoes. “At Central Station,           to accept one. Is                                                expensive and I’d really miss
between Platforms 7 and 8, right in the mid-      this so? Are the                                              the theatres and galleries, and
dle of the tracks, is what appears to be a        tollways’ signs legal?”                                     other entertainment options in Lon-
tomato plant,” writes Renee Mahoney, of           We suspect that Graham                                  don. So it’s more of a lifestyle than a
Hamilton. “It has several large green toma-       hasn’t just opened a can of                        career choice for me to stay here.”
toes on it, so it has survived in this unlikely   worms here, but tipped it out all over the
spot for some time.” Renee’s had no luck with     floor. It’s not just tollways – vending            Kiwis, come home! [Part 2]
her tomato plants at home, and wonders how        machines, bartenders, just about anyone            [March 13, 2005, NZ Herald] After calling
... why ...? [Mar 14]                             who deals in cash hates the things. Is it time     mothers to the workforce to plug skill gaps,
                                                  to put the poor creature out of its misery?        the NZ Government will soon launch a cre-
A record? Steve Lyons, of Port Macquarie,         [Mar 11]                                           ative campaign targeting expats, focusing on
swears he’s spotted the first 2005 Christmas           Meanwhile, Gloria Yates, of Petrie,           Kiwis’ emotional links to their homeland.
commercial. The TV ad for Liquor Zone             Queensland, thinks that great good comes           There are two types of expats overseas –
appeared on Southern Cross Ten, and               from the little blighters. “I haven’t spent a      those who expect to stay away, mainly driven
                                                  five-cent piece for years,” she writes. “They      by money, influence and achievement; and
                                                  all go into a hollow china duck which fills up     those who plan to come home, lured back by

           Rugby!                                 three times a year and is taken to Save the
                                                  Children op shop. What’s wrong with you
                                                                                                     family, lifestyle and friends. Asked what
                                                                                                     needed to change for them to return home,

                                                  people? Don’t you have any imagination,            most cited career opportunities, higher pay
                                                  compassion or hollow ducks, pigs, cats,            and a better cost of living, along with
                                                  etc.?” Good on you, Gloria. [Mar 12]               improved tax incentives for business. But it

           Rugby!                                      Wendy Roe, of Ashfield, is ropeable at the
                                                  very idea of trashing the Pacific nickel. “For
                                                  goodness sake, prices went up, retailers
                                                                                                     is the emotional attraction likely to be high-
                                                                                                     lighted in the Government’s campaign: age-
                                                                                                     ing parents and relatives, a yearning to
                                                  made more profit and we got screwed when           bring up children back home, safety, securi-
  The Assassins Rugby Football                    the ones and twos were no longer legal ten-        ty, and lifestyle: “Return to New Zealand
                                                  der. If the five is removed as well, guess         apparently provides more of an attraction to
  Club is desperately seeking                     whose wallet will get slimmer again?” But          the family-oriented, the sociable and the pre-
  Coach/s for Winnipeg Men                        others are sick of the things, and with good       sumably humanistic medical staff, but repels
  and Women’s Senior Teams.                       reason. Kate Blanch, of Oatley, tells of a toll-   those seeking career success and money,
                                                  way incident involving her fiancé. “The atten-     and the successful ... entrepreneurs,” the
  For additional information                      dant said that they did not accept five-cent       report says.
  contact Jim Russell,                            pieces. He scrounged for some minutes
                                                  through the glove box and on the floor for
  Club President,                                 more change, whilst holding up all the other
  983-3023 (W) or 663-4484                        cars behind. The money was found, handed
  Assassins Rugby Football Club                   over, and some change was handed back –
  3 Howard Kendal Place                           including five-cent pieces!” [Mar 14]
  Winnipeg, Manitoba R3W 1G7

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                           March 2005
March 2005 • The Southern Yarn 7

the latest on our mates
                                                      southern humour

New address. Every now and then, members              Children’s Science Exam
notify the Club that they have a new email                courtesy Ron Rochester
address. Since these addresses are general-
ly only handed out to members, we’ve decid-           Read through these (purportedly) actual answers to a
ed not to include in this newsletter as has           series of Children’s Science Exam questions for a bit of a
been done in the past. So, in future, we will
simply let you know that, for example, the
                                                      good laugh!
Vernon family have a new email address
(which they do). Then, if you want to get it,
                                                      Q: Name the four seasons.
                                                      A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
you can call them or email the Club
( and we’ll                  Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
make sure they get in touch with you.                    safe to drink.                                                                                       Win
                                                      A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink, because it removes large                                       Man
Congratulations to Rob Vernon who, after a               pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
year and a half of knife-edged excitement, is
formally out of school and gainfully                  Q: How is dew formed?
employed. Rob has a new position of line              A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
cook at the Rib Room at the Best Western
Charterhouse. Beauty, mate!                           Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?                             Board of Directors
                                                      A: Keep it in the cow.                                              President:
Thanks! Hi there. I’ve just got back from                                                                                 Lynley Wesselingh
Winnipeg from the National Screen Institute           Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?                             Vice President:
                                                                                                                          Terry Roberts
Film Festival where I was part of a strong NZ         A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
contingent. Sorry that I did not get to meet             water tends to flow toward the moon, because there is no         Secretary:
                                                                                                                          Judy Powell
you all. But I’m pleased that we kiwis make a            water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where
stand wherever we are!                                   the sun joins in this fight.
                                                                                                                          Jenny Gates
    Caterina De Nave, Kiwi Film Producer
                                                      Q: What are steroids?                                               Peter Debenham
Vietnam Report. To read the recently                  A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.                  Social Coordinator:
released Feasibility Study into the Health of                                                                             Peter Munn
Sons and Daughters of Vietnam veterans,               Q: What happens to your body as you age?                            Membership:
see:              A: When you get old, so do your bowels, and you get interconti-     Lucia Barron
COVVHSindex.html                                         nental.
    Submitted by the Matheson Family, on                                                                                  The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
behalf of Mr Geoff Parker, Chairman, The Chil-        Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?                   get it write.
dren of Vietnam Veterans Health Study Inc.            A: He says good-bye to his boyhood, and looks forward to his        Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
(COVVHS)                                                 adultery.                                              
                                                      Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.                 Layout and design:
                                                      A: Premature death.                                                 hydesmith communications
                                                      Q: What is artificial insemination?
                                                      A: When the farmer does it to the bull, instead of the cow.         The electronic version of this

                                                      Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g.,
                                                                                                                          newsletter typically contains a
                                                                                                                          few extra pages of content (in
                                                                                                                          colour!), and can be downloaded
Recent earthquakes in the land of the Long White      A: The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the       in PDF format from the website.
Cloud.                                                   borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the       A big thank you to all of our                             brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs; and the abdomi-   contributors within the club,
And you thought Australia didn’t have many earth-        nal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.           from overseas and information
quakes. Look again!                                                                                                       services.             Q: What is the fibula?
Walks/index.asp                                       A: A small lie.                                                     THE DOWN UNDER
Put on your shoes, mates, and let’s go tramping.                                                                          CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
                                                      Q: What does “varicose” mean?                                                                                                   Station Main, PO Box 1655,
                                                      A: Nearby.
Do the survey or say goodbye to 24 hour rugby TV.                                                                         Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6                                     Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”                 1-204-832-4405 email:
Hostelling is the way to see the world on a budget,   A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.           
and meet others doing the same. Several DUCW                                                                    
members met this way!                                 Q: What does the word “benign” mean?’
                                                      A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                   March 2005
             The                                                                                                                    April 2005

Southern Yarn
          NEWSLETTER                     OF      THE   D O W N       U N D E R         CLUB        OF    WINNIPEG               INC.

downundercalendar                      2 0 0 5

  ANZAC Day service,
  potluck dinner and casino                                                                                               Thousands turned out for
  night, Friday April 22, 6:30 pm                                                                                         the Anzac Day Commemo-
 Join us for our most important event of the                                                                              ration Ceremony outside
 year – our ANZAC Day service at the Western                                                                              the Memorial Hall in Pall
 Canada Aviation Museum, 958 Ferry Road.                                                                                  Mall, Bendigo. Image cour-
 The service will be followed by a potluck                                                                                tesy of the Bendigo Dis-
 dinner and then the infamous DUCW casino.                                                                                trict RSL Sub-Branch Inc.
 Be sure to bring enough food for you and
 guest so we know there will be enough food
 for everyone who comes along. Contact
 Peter ( or ring
 237-1805) to confirm your attendance.

  Friday May 6
  Games Night, Kenaston Village
                                                   ANZAC Day Marches On
  Club Rooms, 7.30 pm
 There will be prizes at this great night of                NZAC was the name given to the Aus-    by a social gathering (potluck dinner and
 cards and other games. RSVP to Peter
 (, 237-1805) so
 we know how many will be coming. Shuffle on
                                                   A        tralian and New Zealand Army Corps
                                                            soldiers who landed on the Gallipoli
                                                   Peninsula in Turkey early on the morning of
                                                                                                   casino night) that allows members of the
                                                                                                   Club, RNZAF, RAAF, Canadian Legions and
                                                                                                   guests to mix and mingle and remember –
 in, show your hand and play a round. Sharks       April 25, 1915 during the First World War       and have some fun. We ask all those who
 welcome. Deal with it, folks!                     (1914-1918). As a result, one day in the year   attend and plan to stay for dinner to bring
                                                   has involved the whole of Australia and New     enough food for themselves and a little extra
  Saturday May 28                                  Zealand in solemn ceremonies of remem-              for our special guests. We don’t want any-
  Boat Cruise, board at 6:00 pm                    brance, gratitude and national pride                     one to go away hungry!
 What a great way to see the city! Join us for     for all our men and women who have                             As time passes, there is con-
 this very popular adventure exploring             fought and died in all wars. ANZAC                           cern by some that special remem-
 Winnipeg from a different vantage point. We       Day is marked by Dawn Services                                brances such as ANZAC Day will
 will be boarding at 6:00 pm and sailing from      and Parades held around the                                    eventually be forgotten. We can
 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm. Cost is $11.75 for           world.                                                         make sure that doesn’t happen
 adults and $8.00 for children. RSVP by                Every year the DUCW com-                                    by continuing our tradition of
 May 20th to Peter (237-1805,                      memorates ANZAC Day at a spe-                                   marking this very important                      cial event that is open to anyone                               day in our hearts, our minds
                                                   who wants to attend. In the past,                              and our calendars by encourag-
                                                   commemorations have taken                                     ing others to do the same. Join
Welcome New Members                                place at the memorial downtown                               us on Friday April 22 at 6:30 pm
  Michael Makras                                   on Memorial Boulevard (1949) and                           to remember and reflect on
  Erin and Peter Keating                           in St. James at the cenotaph in Bruce                     ANZAC Day.
  Owen Degen                                       Park (1950 – 1995). The 1996 blizzard
                                                   resulted in the cancellation of the commem-               “They shall grow not old,
                                                   oration that year and led to the building of              as we that are left grow old;
        the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                   our own cenotaph, and we’ve been inside                   Age shall not weary them,
                  Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                   ever since – currently at the Western Canada              nor the years condemn.
        Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                   Aviation Museum. In 1949, the Mayor laid a                At the going down of the sun
                  telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                   wreath and we were contacted soon after by                and in the morning
                                                   the Monash Legion who asked to join in with               We will remember them.”
                                                   future events.                                  The Ode, the fourth stanza of the poem For the
                                                       The commemoration is usually followed       Fallen by Laurence Binyon (1869-1943)
editorially                                         ’m sure everybody is happy to have              lowed by a casino night for the adventurous

    yours      Jenny Gates
                                                I   spring finally arrive in Winnipeg - I
                                                    know I am. We even had our first BBQ
                                                last week and looking forward to a great
                                                                                                    ones, with good prizes to bid on with your
                                                                                                    winnings. If you only attend one event this
                                                                                                    year, this is the one not to miss, as there is
                                                Manitoba summer.                                    something for everyone.
                                                     I attended the Folk Arts AGM, so if you            We will be having our executive meet-
        ikes! Where                             are disappointed that we are not having a           ing next week so if there is anything that

Y       has all the
        snow gone?
Just last week we
                                                Folklorama pavilion this year, you can still
                                                get involved as there are other pavilions
                                                looking for volunteers. Just call Susan
                                                                                                    you want discussed just give me or any
                                                                                                    other board member a call. We have a lot of
                                                                                                    excellent events over the spring/summer so
were up to our                                  Punter at 982-6210. There is going to be 46                 I look forward to seeing new and old
ankles in muck                                  Pavilions this year, and the kick-off will be                    faces alike.
and mud, with                                   back down at The Forks. Joan Lloyd, who
piles of slush and                              was President
rivers of water                                 for the past 6       president’s
everywhere we walked. Today, it is all but
forgotten. Time to put away the shovels
                                                years, has
                                                                        report  Lynley Wesselingh
and bring out the brooms, swap the down              It was good
jackets for rain shells, get the car washed     to see so many out at the Bingo Bowl.
of dirt instead of brushed of snow. And         Even some of our youngest members
from here on in, it’s buds and blooms and       were key to teams success in winning
temps without minuses!                          first place. Keep it up. Don’t forget
     So, how did you fare the winter of         about Anzac Day commemoration on
2004/5? Did you do anything different           Friday April 22. There will be an
this year to last? Are you getting more         Anzac service, pot luck dinner fol-
used to it or hankering for home more
often? As much as I love the winter, this
sun and warmth and lightness of clothing

                                                    Strictly Classified!
is most welcome.
     One sure sign of spring is our ANZAC
Day commemoration. This year, it will be
on Friday April 22, so make a point to be
there and bring along food for you and                               Advertise in The Southern Yarn. Contact Jenny
your family, and a bit extra for our special                   (831-6527, for all the rates.
guests. And if you have a story of ANZAC                   And remember we now accept classified ads for only $10 each
Day that you would like to share with us,
                                                             (usually up to 10 lines) available to the general membership.
bring it with you. We’ll have an open ses-
sion for anyone who wants to say a few                      Send your submission by email to
words before we break from the com-               or by fax (957-5754) or mail to PO Box 1655, Stn Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6.
memoration. Stay for the casino night –
it’s a sure bet!
     And if you are in the mood for games,
there is an informal night at the Kenaston
Rec Centre on May 6 to play cards or any                      Did you know... ... Molly’s also makes delicious cabbage rolls, perogies,
other board game that takes your fancy. It                                            lasagna, beef stew, butter tarts, pecan tarts, shortbread
was so much fun at the Australia Day /                                                and fruit pies? Drop in to Molly’s today and congratulate
Waitangi Day event that Peter has decided                                             Maureen and Jim on 13 years of the best meat pies (and
to schedule another one, just for fun.                                                other delights) in Winnipeg!

                                                     Congratulations to Molly’s Meat Pies
     The newsletter this month is once
again packed with loads of interesting

                                                              on their 13th Anniversary!
stuff. In addition to all the news from
down under, there is a brief round-up of
sports, notices, and the results of the
DUCW survey. There were some great
ideas that have been passed on to the
executive. We certainly appreciate all the
great comments about the club and the
newsletter, and will do our best to keep
                                                 Molly’s Meat Pies
both interesting and fun for you.
     Oh, and if you’re hun-                                                  390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
gry, check out The Bill-                                                       ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
abong – absolutely
                                                                     hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                           April 2005
all things social in the club

What’s ahead ...
    ANZAC Day, Friday April 22,
                                                   Letters to the Editor
    Western Canada Aviation
    Museum, 6:30 pm                                    Many Thanks from HI
    Commemoration, Potluck                            The GET DOWN UNDER event [March 26] was an overwhelming success! We
    Supper, Casino Night                           couldn’t have done it without the Down Under Club of Winnipeg. Whew! It’s over! It
     We will be celebrating ANZAC Day on           was fun! And best of all, we generated some hefty fundraising $ for some capital
Friday April 22 at the Western Canada Avia-        improvements at Ivey House Hostel. Cheers and many thanks!
tion Museum. Time is 6.30 pm, and it will be          Alison Letourneau
followed by a Pot-Luck supper, and later by           Executive Director
our fun-filled Casino Night entertainment.            Hostelling International, Manitoba
Please be sure to bring enough food for
yourselves and our special guests, as well as           Ed: Thanks to Joanne and Peter Debenham for working the food, Susan Robson
any members of the public who come for the         (Southcorp Wines) for supplying and working the wine hut, Gerry Gordon for playing the
commemoration and would like to stay for           didgeridoo, and Kerry Nowicki and Terry Roberts for working hard to diminish the Down
the supper and entertainment night. Contact        Under Club souvenir stockpile. Thanks also to Erin, Peter and Owen from The Billabong
Peter Munn for details (237-1805 or                for donating gift certificates to the silent auction, and to Molly’s Meat Pies (Maureen We would              and Jim McKeown) for providing delicious meat pies and desserts. And thanks to every-
like to see you there.                             one else who came out and made the event a success for HI and lots of fun for all.
                                                        Congratulations to Charlie Powell, Susanna La Rue and Jo Van der Wijngaart who
                                                   won prizes in the silent auction. And not just any prizes ... these included trips to loca-
                                                   tions here and abroad, membership certificates, adventure paraphernalia, business
                                                   items and loads more. In all, HI gathered about $15,000 in silent auction prizes, so it
                                                   was well worth the cost of a ticket!

                                                       Greetings from a newcomer
                                                       I came across your website while doing a search on other Aussies or anything
                                                   Australian here in Winnipeg and would be interested in joining up if possible. I’m
                                                   a 30-year old who arrived in Canada just over a month ago on a 12-month work visa
                                                   and have decided to stay in Winnipeg for now and maybe even stay longer than 12
Dawn service in Auckland War Memorial, NZ, April   months later on. I was not aware of many other Australians here at all and was
25, 1986.                                          quite surprised AND HAPPY to see your site.
                                                       The [Bingo Bowl] event sounds fun and will try and attend, as it would be good
    ANZAC Day Commemoration                        to meet some other Aussies and Kiwis. I have ALREADY started to miss even the
    Following the commemoration and                Aussie accent, haha. I am originally from Sydney, born and bred.
before the dinner and casino, we will take             And the million dollar question, WHAT brought me to Winnipeg?? Well, to Cana-
some time for people to share a story or two       da in general. I applied for the working-holiday visa, and was lucky that my cousin
about ANZAC Day – what it means to you,            immigrated to Winnipeg last year so I had somewhere to base myself for a while.
why you think it is important to remember          Now I have decided to stay in Winnipeg. A month only and I already LOVE it here!!
this day, a service you attended that was              Thanks again and kind regards
extremely moving for you. Feel free to read            Michael Makras, new member
something or relay a personal story. We
would love to hear from you.                           Blast from the Past
                                                       Hi, from “Australis Bush Band”. I was given your link from an Aussie mate of
    Swan River Folk Festival                       mine and was delighted to see that a lot of the original mob is still there. I can’t
    Friday June 10 - Sunday June 12                believe that we were there in 93 and 94 [Folklorama]. Man, doesn’t time fly when
    Up From Down Under (Jenny Gates and            you’re having fun? You treated us incredibly well with the hospitality being second
Gerry Gordon) will join other entertainers         to none, however, the provincial bird of Manitoba, the mosquito kept us on our toes!
for a cultural festival in Swan River, about 5     Our last gig was for the 2006 comical games for the Australian and Victorian gov-
hours drive north from Winnipeg. All wel-          ernments a couple of weeks ago in this posh night club downtown Toronto. I still

come. More details in the May issue of The         have my DUCW mug from 93! Did Lucia ever get her garage door fixed? Anyway, I
Southern Yarn.                                     thought I’d say “G’day” to all the blokes and sheilas in Winnipeg.
                      Remember to RSVP to
                     Peter Munn 237-1805 or

April 2005                                                                            • The Southern Yarn 3
from our Aussie contributors
                                                         moolah, the person discovering the living
                                                         Tasmanian tiger must be a customer on Thy-
                                                                                                                 cialises in breeding the animals. The all-
                                                                                                                 white marsupial called Canberra joins his
                                                         lacine Expeditions that conducts tours of               mother Kimberley and brother Melbourne,
                                                         Tasmania’s north-west where the creature is             who are also albinos, as the main attractions
From little pines big pygmy                              said to roam. It is all a publicity stunt.              at the Kernhof Zoo, in the eastern province of
possum colonies grow                                                                                             Lower Austria. They are the only albino kan-
[March 19, 2005, SMH] Scientists are recre-              Boy who lost three limbs awake                          garoos in Europe: “Albino kangaroos are
ating a bonsai-like forest on the summit of              and smiling                                             extremely rare, which makes our program to
one of the nation’s highest mountains in a               Ed: this item is not for the squeamish. You’ve          reproduce the condition a great success. We
bid to save a highly endangered possum.                  been warned… [March 30, 2005, SMH] The                  are the only European zoo to have albino
There are fewer than 400 adult pygmy pos-                10-year-old Perth boy who had three limbs               kangaroos and they are also uncommon in
sums in NSW, all living in a minuscule area              surgically reattached after they were severed
20 km long and 10 km wide, north of Thred-               during a game of backyard basketball was
bo. Their preferred habitat is arguably the              awake and smiling yesterday, despite still
harshest on the continent – the highest                  being in considerable pain. Both of his
peaks in the Australian Alps. Climate                    hands and his left foot were cut off when a
change and development in the mountains                  brick wall supporting a basketball back-
have significantly reduced their range.                  board gave way as he executed a slam dunk
                                                         at a friend’s birthday party. In what is
                                                         believed to be a world-first, Perth surgeons
                                                         simultaneously reattached all three severed
                                                         limbs, which had been transported to the
                                                         hospital in an esky packed with ice.                    their native Australia.”
                                                                                                                 Too much fun of the fair ... Glen Billington,
                                                                                                                 spokesman for the Lavender Bay Residents
                                                                                                                 Group, wants to enjoy his view in peace. Photo:
                                                                                                                 Lisa Wiltse

But will it fit in the trolley? ... Photo: Dean Osland
                                                                                                                 Luna Park not fun for all
                                                                                                                 [April 7, 2005, SMH] More than 100 Laven-
Big eggs!                                                                                                        dar Bay residents have lodged a claim in the
[March 26, 2005, SMH] Australians were                                                                           Supreme Court to close five rides at Luna
expected to spend more than $220 million                                                                         Park that they say are too loud. A similar
on Easter treats this year that will include                                                                     action led to the closure of the Big Dipper in
chocolate, candied, marshmallow and cream                Cane toads have poison glands on their shoulders        1996. The fun park closed soon after being
eggs, bunnies and bilbies. Australians are               that can kill pet animals and native wildlife. Photo:   forced to shut down the ride, citing loss of
the number one consumers of chocolate                    Glenn Campbell                                          revenue. Residents are at it again, but the
Easter eggs in the world, but only 14th in                                                                       park’s managing director said it complied
terms of overall chocolate consumption.                  Chilling plan to make toad croak                        with noise laws and would not be bullied by
Cadbury cream eggs remain the world’s                    [April 1, 2005, SMH] Darwin residents have              wealthy residents attempting to kill it off.
number one bestseller for Easter products.               been urged to make a stand against the city’s
The remaining 30 per cent is comprised of                latest threat – the imminent arrival of poi-            Baggage handler
smaller boutique suppliers such as Swiss                 sonous cane toads. With tens of thousands               indeed!
chocolatier Lindt Sprungli, Italian chocolati-           of cane toads now only 40 km south of Dar-              [April 8, 2005, SMH]
er Ferrero (which produces Kinder Surprise               win, the NT Government is spending more                 Twenty minutes after
eggs) and Sydney’s Darrell Lea.                          than $1.4 million to try and halt their spread          David Cox checked in his
                                                         and minimise the damage they are causing                bags at Sydney Airport,
                                                         to the environment and native wildlife. So far          he watched astounded as
                                                         nothing appears to be working. The toads                a baggage handler was
                                                         can poison dogs and other pets and eat a                driven across the tarmac
                                                         wide variety of prey, including native lizards.         wearing the camel suit
                                                         They were introduced into Queensland                    he’d packed in his lug-
                                                         in 1935 in a disastrous attempt to control              gage. The 34-year-old
                                                         sugarcane pests and have been spreading                 marketing manager was heading to Mel-
                                                         westward in their millions by an average                bourne with a crocodile suit and the camel
Is this a $3 million marsupial? Photo: Mike Bowers       of 30 km a year. The Queensland Govern-                 costume, both checked in as luggage 40 min-
                                                         ment      has     distributed      a     guide          utes before the departure of QF425 at 10.30.
Let it rest in peace ...                                 ( to help stop the              Twenty minutes before take-off, as he sat at
[March 26, 2005, SMH] A Tasmanian busi-                  cane toad in its tracks. R-r-r-ribbet!                  Gate 4, Mr Cox saw the trolley carrying a
nessman has offered $1.75 million and The                                                                        passenger wearing the top half of his camel
Bulletin magazine $1.25 million for proof the            Albino roo born in Austria                              suit. The baggage handler has been fired.
Tasmanian Tiger is alive and well. What, are             [April 3, 2005, SMH] A rare albino kangaroo             Better get those locks on your suitcases,
they kidding?! Apparently, yes. To collect the           has been born at a zoo in Austria that spe-             folks!

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                           April 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                                                         New Zealand TV
                                                                                         If you want to catch some Kiwi viewing during the week,
                             Sitting pretty on a                                         check out “Jackson’s Wharf” on APTN (Ch. 75) from
                             massive pumpkin.                                            12:30 pm to 1:30 pm every Tuesday. And then tune to
                             Photo: NZ Herald                                            “Aroha Maori”, also on APTN, from 1:30 pm to 2:00 pm
                                                                                         every Wednesday. APTN is going to keep us apprised of
                                                                                         any upcoming aboriginal and maori shows that might be
                              Baa, pumpkin!                                              of interest to us. Will be sure to include a note in the
                         [March 23, 2005,                                                monthly Yarn.
                         NZ Herald] This
                         334.2 kg behemoth,           but most entertaining ever from Australia
                                                                                                                               Hillary Swank in happier
                         the nation’s biggest         and New Zealand, with international hits
                                                                                                                               times. NZ Herald
                         pumpkin,        won          such as Don’t Dream It’s Over and Weather
Steve Ironmonger first place at last week-            with You.                                                                Swank gets
end’s Kumeu A and P Show. The 70-day-old                                                                                       spanked
vegetable, which took eight people to lift, is        Yikes! on price hike                                                     [March 30, 2005, NZ
on display outside the Ironmongers’ proper-           [March 29, 2005, NZ Herald] A $1.7 million                               Herald] Double Oscar-
ty at Walton, near Matamata. Mr Ironmonger            sale of a beachfront property at the seaside                             winning actress Hilary
says the key lies in regular and even water-          suburb of Wainui is proof that outsiders are                             Swank has been fined
ing. The seed will be saved, and the flesh            discovering Gisborne, real estate agents say.       $200 for bringing fruit into New Zealand in
thrown to the sheep.                                  While Gisborne prices are cheap by national         January. The American actress failed to
                                                      standards, people were prepared to pay for          declare an apple and an orange when she
                                                      premium sites. One house, built in 1975 and         arrived at Auckland International Airport
                                                      overlooking Wainui Beach, shattered the             from Los Angeles. New Zealand’s strict
                                                      record price for a residential house in Gis-        biosecurity regulations are to keep the coun-
                                                      borne when it sold for $1,710,000 at an auc-        try free of pests and diseases that could seri-
                                                      tion just before Easter. The previous record        ously damage the environment, natural
                                                      was $975,000, paid for another beachfront           resources, threaten the economy and under-
                                                      property at Wainui in October 2003. Water-          mine the NZ way of life. International pas-
                                                      front property prices have “boomed” during          sengers are obliged to declare all foodstuffs
                                                      the past five years, and according to the           they may be carrying when entering the
                                                      grandson of a man who owned the property            country. Swank won her second Best Actress
Paul Hester acts up in Hessie’s Shed, the ABC         around World War II: “He would have turned          Oscar earlier this month for her starring role
variety show that solidified his image as the drum-   in his grave.”                                      in the Clint Eastwood-directed Million Dollar
mer with a quick wit. Photo: SMH                                                                          Baby. She also won an Oscar for her trans-
                                                      Kiwis love their cars                               gender role in Boys Don’t Cry.
Goodbye, Hessie                                       [March 19, 2005, NZ Herald] New Zealan-
[March 29, 2005, SMH] Paul Hester, former             ders’ love affair with the automobile has pro-      Prices at petrol pumps hit record
“Crowded House” drummer, is dead. After a             pelled them to the world’s fourth highest           high
long battle with depression, Hester took his          level of car ownership – with more vehicles         [April 1, 2005, NZ Herald] Petrol prices are
life by hanging himself from a tree in a park         per head than any other country. And,               at a record high today after the Government
near his home. He was 46, and leaves behind           despite rising oil prices, it seems Kiwis want      lifted its tax take by 5.63c a litre overnight –
his two daughters, aged 5 and 10, and his ex-         bigger and more powerful wheels. A global           and more increases are feared. The petrol
partner, photographer Mardi Somerfeld.                internet survey by market research firm             rise was set to push the price of 91-octane at
Though Hester could sink into emotional               ACNielsen has found that almost nine out of         main-centre pumps to about 129.5c, and of
troughs, he would bounce back with greater            10 New Zealanders aged 16 or older (89%)            lesser-used 96-octane to almost 135c, amid
zest. He played in several Melbourne bands            own a car, just one percentage point behind         fears of even higher increases now the New
before joining “Split Enz” with Neil Finn in          Australia and Italy and three short of the leg-     Zealand dollar is losing ground against the
1983. The pair left and formed “Crowded               endary land of the automobile, the United           US greenback. Automobile Association pub-
House” with bassist Nick Seymour in 1985.             States. Sedans are still the most popular car       lic affairs director George Fairbairn exhorted
In “Crowded House”, his clown role made               type in New Zealand, owned by 43 per cent of        motorists yesterday to fill up before the
him the ideal foil for the more tightly wound         those polled, compared with 10 per cent who         increases kicked in, saying fuel was
Finn and helped cement the band’s reputa-             have four-wheel-drives.                             “unlikely to be cheaper than it is today”.
tion as not just one of the most successful

                                                                                                          Decks, Sunrooms and

   Kiwi Installations                                              Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                       Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                    Free in-home/cottage estimates.

April 2005                                                                                     • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Sydney Morning Herald
                                                  about every product imaginable. If it has
                                                  been imported, you can bet your last shirt
                                                  that it will carry a sticker “Not suitable for
The power of one. So what is 111,111,111 mul-     children under 3 years,” and it doesn’t much
tiplied   by    111,111,111?     Why,     it’s    matter what the product is – babies’ dum-
12,345,678,987,654,321 of course. [Apr 8]         mies included. [Mar 31]
                                                                                                      What you said ... (part 1)
Ahh-oooo-gah! Alex von Wietersheim, of            Mistaken identity. Roy Kehl, of Cooroy,
Newtown, appreciates the trumpet-playing          Queensland, writes: “While shopping last            Forty five people responded to the DUCW sur-
bicycle courier who plays in the city most        Sunday my nine-year-old daughter found              vey and provided us with some valuable insight
mornings around Martin Place and Wyn-             what she thought could be the perfect addi-         into how we are doing as a club and what we
yard. “In between delivering packages he          tion to her bedroom – a rug in the shape of a       could do in the future to make it even better.
takes time to entertain us frazzled com-          surfboard. There was a variety of colours to        Following is an overview of responses (part 2
muters. It’s a great way to start the day – I     choose from, so she asked me to pull out one        will follow next month), the complete tabulation
want him to know that he’s performing a           from the bottom of the stack. As I lifted the       of which has been given to the club executive
community service.” [Apr 8]                       rug I noticed a large sticker on the bottom of      for review and action.
                                                  the rug that said: ‘Not to be used as a life pre-
Where are we going? It says something             server.’ I wonder if surfboards have a sticker      Essentially, respondents joined the club to con-
about the state of history and biography book     advising ‘Not to be used as a rug’.” [Apr 1]        nect with fellow Aussies and Kiwis (30) or
sales in this country. Number 9 on The                                                                because they have family in or connections to
Herald’s Non-Fiction Best Seller list this
week is the Brisbane, Gold Coast and Sun-         takenotice                                          down under (13). Most people found their way
                                                                                                      to the club through a friend (21) or club events
shine Coast UBD Street Directory.” [Mar 23]                                                           (21). For many people, the club is about con-
                                                  Diversity Sings!                                    necting to and keeping up-to-date with goings
Au Kangourou Volant (Flying Kangaroo)             The Manitoba Choral Association is inviting         on down under (30) and staying in contact with
restaurant in Caen, Normandy, serves lamb,        schools, students, and choral groups to par-        fellow Aussies and Kiwis and meeting new peo-
prawns and lobsters, all of which are import-     ticipate in its first ever Diversity Sings! proj-   ple (22).
ed from New Zealand, says Lou Goutier, of         ect from June 21 to 26, 2005. This
Elizabeth Bay. The Anzac biscuits are in fact     multiracial, multicultural and cutting-edge         In 2004, Folklorama was the most attended
choc-chip cookies, but the kangaroo fillet is     program will feature a series of concerts and       event (28), and other events were also very
apparently the genuine article. [Mar 26]          workshops for choirs, directors, teachers and       popular. In general, all regular club events were
                                                  volunteers. Some of the performances will           fairly evenly attended by respondents, and there
Mean time. The question of what time it is at     take place in unique outdoor venues in the          were many suggestions for new events on the
the North Pole has received a troubling           downtown area. On the final day, there will         club calendar, including informal club nights and
response. Kelly Smith, of Bangkok, via Cre-       be a Grand Finale concert at the Lyric The-         half-way events to connect with members living
morne, writes that: “You could always call        atre, Assiniboine Park.                             outside Winnipeg. Most people enjoy the potluck
someone at the Amundsen-Scott Station at               The program is designed to enhance the         events (31), and suggestions for our younger
the South Pole and ask them, but you might        lives of Manitobans by providing opportuni-         members include the zoo, the waterpark, and
get the wrong answer. Both the North and          ties for professional and amateur singers to        movies.
South Poles officially use co-ordinated uni-      cross cultural, racial and lifestyle borders
versal time, also known as Greenwich mean         through vocal music. It will also be a show-        Most people read all of The Southern Yarn (34),
time, but scientists based at the station unof-   case for the diversity that exists in our           and many agreed that member profiles (24) and
ficially use the time at Christchurch, New        schools. It is hoped that Diversity Sings! will     birthday announcements for kids under 12 (12)
Zealand.” So the South Pole runs on Kiwi          act as a catalyst for a new vocal arts program      would be great additions. Generally, the newslet-
time? On the sly? Outrageous! [Mar 28]            dedicated to addressing issues of racism            ter is seen as very informative, interesting, and
                                                  and crime among the inner city’s children           a great source of enjoyment. The majority of
Ouch! The Americans have a new method of          and youth.                                          people prefer to receive the printed newsletter
dealing with firebugs that might be useful            For      more        information,     email     (37).
here. Associated Press reports the US Forest or call 942-6037. Deadline
Service has started to bill people who start a    for participation is April 30, 2005.                About half of respondents sometimes visit the
major fire. Jason Hoskey, 26, has been asked           Anyone interested?                             club website (21), and most of these want to be
to cover the $US18.2 million cost of fighting                                                         added to the Yahoo e-group for notices and
a fire in Mendocino National Forest, Califor-     Just don’t ask for “Lost”!                          announcements. Finally, most people (36) agree
nia, in 2003. [Mar 30]                            [March 31, 2005,] Virgin           that the membership fee is just right, so long as
                                                  Blue-owned airline Pacific Blue has unveiled        it covers the cost of the newsletter, mailing, and
Baby stuff. Mary McMurtrie, of Berowra,           its latest weapon in the competitive airline        the time required to update and maintain the
writes that she “has just noticed on a choco-     marketing wars – personal movie players.            website.
late Easter bunny a warning label that reads      Now, if we can just get them to fly out of Win-
‘Not suitable for children 5 years or younger     nipeg!                                              Other comments and suggestions for improve-
– small parts may be swallowed’. Well, what           Ed: Lost is a TV series currently running       ment will be included in the May issue of the
else are you meant to do with chocolate?”         on CTV, which is based on the story of plane        Yarn. And if you still haven’t sent in your survey,
Apparently, litigation-wary manufacturers         crash survivors.                                    please do so we can add your thoughts and
now routinely stick these warnings on just                                                            suggestions to the mix.

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                 April 2005
                                                   July 9, playing various local teams through-                               Loeb takes lead in NZ Rally
sportsroundup                                      out the country. The tour will include seven
                                                   provincial games, one NZ Maori representa-
                                                                                                                              [April 8, 2005, NZ Herald] Reigning world
                                                                                                                              champion Sebastien Loeb has dominated day
                                                   tive match, and three All Blacks tests. News                               one of Rally New Zealand. After today’s eight
Hoppa out:                                         of the tour has sparked a run on tickets,                                  special stages north of Auckland, Loeb, driv-
banned, sacked,                                    almost selling out for some of the events                                  ing a Citroen, has opened up a 23.1 second
retired                                            already – and at $100 a pop!                                               lead over Finland’s Marcus Gronholm in a
                                                                                                                              Peugeot with defending champion Petter Sol-
Rugby league bad boy John                          Lomu is back!                                                              berg third, 31.7 seconds off the pace. The
Hopoate. Photo: Getty                              [April 8, 2005, NZ Herald]                                                 three-day NZ rally is the fourth round of the
Images                                             Former All Black wing Jonah                                                16-race season. The 20-stage event covers a
                                                   Lomu will play rugby for                                                   total distance of 1,128 km.
March 23, 2005, SMH]                               North Harbour in the NPC
Rugby league bad boy John Hopoate retired          this season after signing a                                                Aussie Master Golfers
late last night after being suspended for 17       two-year contract. He will start training with                             [April 11, 2005, Wpg Free Press] Aussies
weeks and sacked by his club, Manly. “Sadly,       the North Harbour squad in June when he                                    Mark Hensby and Rod Pampling tied for fifth
John’s somewhat brilliant and turbulent            returns from his comeback match in a testi-                                with Canadian Mike Weir and two others in
career has come to an unfortunate end,” his        monial game for former England captain                                     the hunt for the green jacket, after battling
manager, Wayne Beavis, said. The ban made          Martin Johnson at Twickenham. North Har-                                   Mother Nature and a cast of golfing greats.
Hopoate the premiership’s most suspended           bour chief executive Noel Coom said a player
player of the modern era. Hopoate, who was         of Lomu’s quality and stature could only                                   Oh, sheet. Hurry hard!
sent off for a tackle that left Cronulla forward   “strengthen and positively add to our team.                                [April 11, 2005, Wpg Free Press] New
Keith Galloway concussed at Brookvale Oval         We can’t wait for the season to begin.” Lomu                               Zealand claimed fifth spot and Australia
on Sunday, was told by NRL prosecutor Paul         has been out of rugby for two years after a                                tenth in the Ford Men’s World Curling Cham-
Conlon he had “an appalling record in rugby        kidney disease forced him to have dialysis                                 pionship which was taken by Canada. Trivia
league”.                                           for eight hours a day before a kidney trans-                               question: how many (if any) of the down
                                                   plant last year.                                                           under curlers are Canucks?

                                                     To those who make communities great a
                                                     sincere thanks, and congratulations
                                                     If you want information about where M anitoba is a province of communities. One of the key goals of Manitoba Lotteries is to
                                                                                                        strengthen our connection to those communities, and to support their vibrant growth. We also
                                                      to apply for the Manitoba Lotteries               want to profile some fellow Manitobans who should make us all proud.
                                                      Volunteer Bingo program please                    Many are volunteers, working for the betterment of their communities. Some of them are
                                                                                                        entrepreneurs whose drive and spirit have brought new businesses and employment to
                                                      call 957-2500 from Winnipeg or                    Manitoba, and in so doing have made our economy more vibrant. Others are developing
                                                                                                        programs in northern, urban and rural areas that help people cope with the stresses of
Glenn McGrath cleans up in series. Photo: SMH         1-800 265-3912 from outside.                      modern life and lead richer, more enjoyable lives.
                                                      For REDI information,                         As an organization that believes strongly in building communities, we are proud of them and
Cricket: Australia beat NZ by                         1-800 567-7334.                               of what they're doing for their neighbours, and we'll tell you about just a few of them in
nine wickets to win series 2-0                                                                      future publications.
                                                                                                        Net income from Manitoba Lotteries Corporation's operations - $235.4 million last fiscal
                                                                                                             year - flows to our communities through several streams. For example, 10 per cent of
[March 29, 2005, NZ Herald] Australian cap-                                                                       the revenues from video lottery terminal operations is paid as unconditional
tain Ricky Ponting completed a memorable                      2,295 E c o n o m i c I m p a c t $204M grants to support Manitoba municipalities. That was $12.7 million last fiscal
                                                           jobs supported by   2003-04                                 year. Another 25 per cent of VLT revenue is dedicated to community
batting double to lead his team to a nine-                                                     in direct & indirect
                                                             MLC activities                                              economic development projects through the Rural Economic Development
                                                                                                  expenditures            Initiative and the Urban Development Initiative. That amount was
wicket victory over New Zealand late on the
                                                                                   MLC                                     $35.6 million.
fourth day of the third cricket test today.                                  economic impact                               The remainder of our net income is given to the Government of Manitoba
Ponting was 86 not out as Australia reached                                    in Manitoba                                 which allocates it to priority provincial government programs that provide
their target of 164 in the 30th over under the                                 $337M                                       health care, education, community and social services and economic
                                                                                                   $85M                   development for Manitobans.
Eden Park floodlights to win the three-test                     2,040
                                                              direct jobs at                    in total labour         We also help non-profit groups through our Volunteer Bingo Program, which
series 2-0. Ponting scored 105 in the first                        MLC                           force income         provides funds in return for their efforts at bingos held in our Winnipeg
                                                                                  $51M                              casinos. This program saw $3.9 million shared among 400 community groups
innings and Justin Langer ended 59 not out.                                      in total tax
                                                                                   income                       last year. Bingos are awarded through the following umbrella groups: Manitoba
Earlier, Australian paceman Glenn McGrath                                         generated                 Community Services Council, Sport Manitoba, Manitoba Arts Council, Multicultural
was left stranded on 499 test wickets when                                                           Grants Advisory Council, Heritage Grants Advisory Council and Manitoba Community
he bowled Paul Wiseman for 23 to end New                                                            Education Association.

Zealand’s second innings at 254. Legspinner                                                             In addition, corporate sponsorships amounted to $1.3 million last year, helping to bring new
                                                                                                        services and special events to people throughout the province.
Shane Warne took four for 77, including his                      The MLC is responsible for the management and operation of Club Regent and McPhillips
100th test wicket against New Zealand.                           Street Station Casinos, the Video Lottery Terminal (VLT) network, sales and distribution of
                                                                 Lottery products, Bingo paper, and Breakopen tickets.
Ponting was named ‘man of the match’.

                                                                      Supporting our
                                                            c o m m u n i t i e s
The Lions are coming!
[April 2005, NZ Herald] The British Lions
are touring New Zealand from June 4 to

April 2005                                                                                                       • The Southern Yarn 7

the latest on our mates
                                                       southern humour

Welcome to the world! Nikau Laurence
Cronin (said Knee - Co), beautiful newborn             Beer Theories
                                                       courtesy Ed and Elaine Clairmont
son of Ange and Anton Cronin, came into the
world at 1329 on March 31, weighing in at 8
lb 12 oz and measuring 54.5 cm from tip to             Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
toe. Anton is a member of the NZRAF train-
ing in Winnipeg at 17 Wing.
                                                       Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
                                                       brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this                                           DO
                                                       beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shat-
                                                       tered. I think, “It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams
                                                       come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” – Babe Ruth
                                                       When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Paul                                          Win
                                                       Hornung                                                                                                     Man
                                                       24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. –
                                                       H.L. Mencken

                                                       When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
                                                       When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin,           Board of Directors
Rob Vernon resplen-                                    we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! –            President:
dent in chef’s attire                                  George Bernard Shaw                                                     Lynley Wesselingh
with his silver medal from                                                                                                     Vice President:
                                                                                                                               Terry Roberts
the Skills Canada competition last spring.             Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Ben-
                                                       jamin Franklin                                                          Secretary:
                                                                                                                               Judy Powell
Congratulations (again, this time with photo
included) to Rob Vernon for winning the sil-           Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
                                                                                                                               Jenny Gates
ver medal at the Skills Canada competition             is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
and for his new position of line cook at the           but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry       Peter Debenham
Rib Room at the Best Western Charterhouse.                                                                                     Social Coordinator:
Beauty, mate!                                          Beer: helping ugly people have                                          Peter Munn
                                                       sex since 3000 B.C. – W.C.                                              Membership:
Camped by The Billabong ...                            Fields                                                                  Lucia Barron
Yes, it’s finally
open folks. And                                        Remember “I” before “E”,                                                The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
several members                                        except in Budweiser. – Profes-                                          get it write.
of the DUCW have                                       sor Irwin Corey                                                         Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
already tasted its                                                                                                   
absolutely deli-                                       To some it’s a six-pack, to me                                
cious fare. Congratulations to Erin and Peter          it’s a “support group.” Salvation                                       Layout and design:
Keating and Owen Degen for creating a fabu-            in a can! – Leo Durocher                                                hydesmith communications
lous new restaurant experience in Win-                                                                               
nipeg. There is lots of Aussie decor and a             One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin
menu that is as ‘down under’ as they come.             explained the “Buffalo Theory”                                          The electronic version of this
The Billabong is open for business Monday              to his buddy, Norm:                                                     newsletter typically contains a
to Saturday for lunch and dinner from 11:30            “Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move     few extra pages of content (in
am to 2:00 am, and on Sunday from 5:00 pm              as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is      colour!), and can be downloaded
to 2:00 am. You can make reservations but              the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.         in PDF format from the website.
not on Thursday, Friday or Saturday when it’s          This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because         A big thank you to all of our
too busy. Come early, come late, come any              the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving         contributors within the club,
time and take your seat at The Billabong (D-           by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same         from overseas and information
121 Osborne Street, 452-1019). You just                way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest            services.
might run into one of your mates!                      brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain
                                                       cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells    THE DOWN UNDER
                                                       first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
bottomfivesites – Australian War Memorial
                                                       weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
                                                       machine! That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
                                                                                                                               CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
                                                                                                                               Station Main, PO Box 1655,
                                                                                                                               Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6 – ANZAC events in Queensland                                                                               1-204-832-4405 email: – NZ history site                                                        – Governor General NZ site                                                           – official site of the Gallipoli Association

8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                        April 2005
             The                                                                                                                   May 2005

Southern Yarn
          NEWSLETTER                    OF       THE    D O W N         U N D E R      CLUB         OF    WINNIPEG             INC.

downundercalendar                     2 0 0 5      Get ready for a
  Saturday May 28
                                                   ‘down under’
  Boat Cruise, board at 6:30 pm
 What a great way to see the city! Join us for
 this very popular adventure exploring
 Winnipeg from a different vantage point. We                you go out to the multitude of events
 will be boarding at 6:30 pm and sailing from
 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm. Cost is $12.00 for
 adults and $8.00 for children. RSVP to Peter
                                                   If       going on in the city this summer,
                                                            you can bet you will almost certainly
                                                   bump into someone you know.
 (, 237-1805) by             For sure, if you go to the Winnipeg Chil-
 MAY 20.                                           dren’s Festival, the Winnipeg Fringe, the
                                                   Winnipeg Folk Festival, or the Swan River
 JUNE                                              Folk Fest, you are guaranteed to see someone
  Saturday June 25                                 from down under.
  Golf tournament, Shooters,                           The New Zealand Maori youth group WAI
  10:00 am (18 holes)                              will be performing at the 23rd Winnipeg
  11:00 am (Texas scramble)                        Children’s Festival at The Forks from June 9
 Join us for a great round of golf at Shooters     to 12. The music of WAI – meaning “water” in
 Family Golf Centre, 2731 Main Street. The         Maori – is refreshing, flowing with emotion,
 cost is $20 for the traditional 9-hole Texas      rich with soul-                                  Didgeridoo guru Xavier Rudd
 Scrabble, and $30 for the more experienced        ful    melodies,
 golfers who want to play 18 holes. Note the       and      beating                                 inventive lighting design, creative puppetry,
 differing tee-off times – 10:00 am start for      with complex                                     and storytelling, their show Felix Listens to
 those who want 18 holes, and 11:00 am             rhythms.                                         the World has been recognised as an “out-
 start for the Texas scramble. There will be           The      WAI                                 standing example of the next wave of Aus-
 lunch afterwards for all. RSVP to Lynley at       sound features                                   tralian            theatre          makers”.
 275-7631 no later than June 16.                   singing in traditional tone, vocal patterns      []
                                                   and harmonies. Organic natural beats and             Want to help the guys from The Suitcase
                                                   rhythms (human breaths, insect and bird          Royale get around in Canada? See page 2
Welcome New Members                                sounds), indigenous percussion and action            Didgeridoo guru Xavier Rudd is return-
  Irene Marantz                                    sounds (body slaps, foot stamping and hand       ing to the Peg for the Winnipeg Folk Festival.
  Sydney Davy                                      clapping) are all incorporated and comple-       Those of you who saw him last year at the fes-
  Linda Baker                                      mented by contemporary funk, reggae, hip-        tival and the Pyramid Cabaret will get anoth-
  Akio Utsunomiya                                  hop and R&B grooves.                             er opportunity to experience this terrific
                                                       Meanwhile, The Suitcase Royale from          Aussie performer on Sunday July 10 at 7:10
Advertise in The Southern Yarn                     Australia are sure to be a hit at the Winnipeg   pm. []
 Contact Jenny (831-6527,                          Fringe from July 14 to August 8. Suitcase            And if you dare to venture north to Swan for all the             Royale is an award-winning theatre company       River, you can also meet up with fellow
 rates. Send your submission by email to           that creates work referred to by critics as      DUCW members Gerry Gordon and Jenny or by fax                “junkyard theatre”. Fusing physical theatre,     Gates in Up From Down Under. This will be
 (957-5754) or mail to PO Box 1655, Stn                                                             their second visit to the Swan River Folk Fest
 Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6.                            Fringe: Suitcase Royale                      and they will once again present their unique
                                                                                                    blend of Aussie music, culture and style. See
                                                                                                    page 3 for more details.
        the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                                                                        All these performers are just the ones we
                  Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                                                                    know about! If you hear of any others, let us
        Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                                                                    know so we can spread the word.
                  telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                                                                        For those of us who aren’t fortunate
                                                                                                    enough to get down under this summer, it
                                                                                                    seems that down under is coming to us.
editorially                                             pril 25 marked the 90th commemo-           bidding on the mystery prizes during the

    yours      Jenny Gates
                                                A       ration of ANZAC Day, and the DUCW
                                                        celebrated at the Western Canadian
                                                Aviation Museum on Friday April 22. It was
                                                                                                   live auction that wrapped up the evening.
                                                                                                       Thanks to all those who cooked or vol-
                                                                                                   unteered, helping to make the evening a
                                                great to see so many service people, old and       success. This event was subsidized by the
                                                young, attend in uniform, while we all paid        DUCW.
        RGH! There                              respects to those who lost their lives in past         This past Friday also saw our first cards

A       are times –
        more of late,
it seems – when I
                                                    ANZAC originated from the landing at
                                                Gallipoli on April 25, 1915, where the New
                                                                                                   night, which brought out some new faces as
                                                                                                   well as the competitive side. Thanks to
                                                                                                   Peter Munn for organizing a round robin
would give any-                                 Zealand and Australian forces fought side          event that allowed everyone to mingle and
thing to go back to                             by side. Of the 7,500 New Zealand casual-          play an array of games.
pencil and paper.                               ties, there were 2,721 dead – one in four of           Unfortunately I will not be able to attend
Technology has                                  those who landed. Australia’s 26,000 casu-         the boat cruise later this month as I will be
never been my                                   alties included 8,000 fatalities.                  in San Diego for a business conference, but
forte, so understanding it is usually a             The joint defence of the ANZAC provid-         hope to see you at the golf tournament on
challenge – fixing it even more so. Thank       ed a strong sentimental relationship               June 25. The event will be different this year
goodness for “Dan Dan the Computer              between Australia and New Zealand for the          – due to requests, there is going to be an
Man” who is summoned on a regular               remainder of the century. ‘ANZAC’ became           18-hole option as well as the traditional 9-
basis to correct my computer woes. If he        the lasting label for trans-Tasman coopera-                 hole Texas scramble tournament.
can’t fix whatever ails my electronic com-      tion.                                                           Don’t forget to register with me
panion, no one can!                                 We were all proud to showcase this                            at 275-7631 before June 16.
     Nevertheless, once again I am at my        mutual respect                                                         I hope that you are all
keyboard, even though all is not happy in       at the service,      president’s                                   enjoying being outdoors, and
the tower. Oh well, you just can’t stop the
technological train. Besides, I got a Yarn
                                                after which we
                                                savoured a
                                                                        report Lynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                                   maybe getting some practice
                                                                                                                     swings in before the golf
to spin ...                                     potluck dinner.                                                         tournament.
     This issue offers some regular fea-        By then, everyone was itching to try
tures and a few extras to entertain and         their luck at the Fantasy Casino, which
inform you. There is the usual news from        included blackjack, roulette and
down under, and some sports thrown in           horse racing. All the games saw some
for good measure. You’ll get a laugh from       big winners – too bad it wasn’t real
the humour, and there is some great TV          money.
viewing on offer for you to consider. Add           Nevertheless, everyone had fun
to the mix some bits and pieces from
members and some trivia to test your
knowledge, and even a selection of web-                                                        Got car? They will travel!
sites you might enjoy.                                                                         The three blokes from The Suitcase Royale
     And I want to take this opportunity to                                                    need your help to get around Canada. They are
remind everyone that this is your newslet-                                                     looking to buy a stationwagon (or something
ter. Yes, I put it together and Brian creates                                                  similar) so they can get from gig to gig while
a fabulous layout, but if you have any                                                         they are here. They will need the car from July
items you would like to include in the                                                         14 to August 20. If you can help, please contact
Yarn, please feel free to send it to us. Sev-                                                  Jenny at 831-6527 or
eral members have sent articles, photos                                              
and jokes for inclusion, and in the past
we’ve even had regular columnists (John
Hyde on sports, Lynne Skromeda on

                                                                    Spring into Molly’s for
music) who added a bit of variety to our
mix. If you have anything you would like

                                                                      a delicious fruit pie!
to send, feel free. We might have to edit
for length, content or errors, but we cer-
tainly welcome any inclusions for consid-
     So sit back and enjoy this issue of the
Yarn on the edge of the Manitoba sum-
mer in your mosquito-free backyard. It’s
our pleasure to bring it to ya!
                                                 Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                            390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                              ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                    hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                          May 2005
all things social in the club
                                                     Swan River Folk Fest                          Gerry & Jenny in
                                                     Friday June 10 and                            Swan River
                                                     Saturday June 11
                                                  Get out into Manitoba and experience
                                                  the Swan River Folk Fest in Swan
                                                  River, Manitoba. About 5 hours drive
                                                  north from Winnipeg, the Fest is from
                                                  10:00 am to 10:00 pm both days.
                                                  The event will be held at the Swan
                                                  River Curling Rink and at least 13 dif-
                                                  ferent countries will be represented –
What happened ...                                 Australia, British Isles, Denmark, First
  ANZAC Day, Friday April 22                      Nations, French Canada, Germany, Hungary, Metis, Norway, South Africa, Sweden, Switzerland and
The ANZAC Day observance, held again at           Ukraine. The Grand March is at 7:00 pm on Friday night. “Up From Down Under” with Gerry Gordon
the Western Canada Aviation Museum, was           and Jenny Gates will be entertaining the crowds during several performances on both days. For
well attended by more than 60 people,             more information, contact Monica Black at or 1-204-238-4841. Volunteers
including representatives from the General        are welcome and thanked in advance.
Monash Branch of the Royal Canadian
Legion, and visiting service men and women
from Australia and New Zealand. Gordon                 ON SALE MAY 24 - JUNE 7
Keatch again organised a respectful service,
and we thank Gordon for all his efforts to
ensure the service ran smoothly. Thank you
also to the members who helped by working
                                                       Guaranteed Returns
in the kitchen, serving the meal, and later at
the casino, and prize auction.
    Friday May 6: Games Night,

    Kenaston Village Club Rooms
The games night was held on Friday May 6,
with four tables going strong with various
card and board games. The “competitive”

part of the evening saw Ron Rochester take
first prize, closely followed by Kerry Nowicki.
Kali Gilberd placed first in her division. Fol-
lowing the formal part of the evening, more
games started up and continued till late. A
good time was had by all, and we will defi-
nitely do it again another time.
                                                       Builder Bonds Series 9 are fully guaranteed
What’s ahead ...                                       by the Province of Manitoba and provide
    Saturday May 28, River Cruise                      you with three great ways to invest in our
The River Cruise is scheduled for Saturday             province and save for the future.
May 28 on the MS Paddlewheel Queen. The
                                                       Ask your financial adviser which bond is best                        See your participating
cruise is from 7:00 to 10:00 pm, with board-
                                                       for you.                                                             financial institution or
ing at 6.30 pm. Cost is $12.00, with children
11 and under $8.00.                                                                                                             investment dealer
    Please call Peter Munn at 237-1805 to let
us know you will be cruising with us.
                                                              1                     2                      3
                                                          FIVE-YEAR            THREE-YEAR               FIVE-YEAR
    Saturday June 25,                                   FLOATING-RATE          FIXED-RATE              FIXED-RATE
    Golf Tournament                                         BOND                  BOND                    BOND
You don’t have to be able to play golf to enjoy         with an annual        offering a fixed       offering a fixed
this fabulous event. Take part in the Texas             adjustable rate       rate of return,         rate of return,
                                                       which pays interest   which pays interest    which pays either
scramble (9 holes) or really play a round (18           annually and is          annually.             an annual or

                                                         redeemable                                 compound interest.
holes). Lunch will follow. Be sure to contact              annually.
Lynley (275-7631) by June 16 to get on course.
                                                       Builder Bonds are available for as little as $100.
                                                       Available at participating banks, credit unions,
                                                       caisses populaires, trust companies or investment
                      Remember to RSVP to              dealers throughout Manitoba.
                     Peter Munn 237-1805 or
                   For more information, call 1-800-565-0350.

May 2005                                                                                         • The Southern Yarn 3
                                                                                                                                                    Quit the litter
from our Aussie contributors
                                                                                                                                                    … Doogal
                                                                                                                                                    gets the hang
                                                                                                                                                    of things.
                                                                                                                                                    Photo: Bob
Backpackers work longer in Oz                                                                                                                       Pearce
[April 14, 2005, SMH] Australia has struck
back at trans-Tasman rival New Zealand by
moving to double the length of time back-
packers can work down under.
    The strategic move follows an attempt by           Part of the drug haul found in barbecues.
New Zealand in February to snatch the lucra-           Photo: Australian Customs
tive market out from under Aussie noses by
giving backpackers the chance to work for up           Ecstasy busted
to two years. But the new Australian law, to           [April 22, 2005, SMH] Australian Federal                Kitty’s sitting pretty
come into effect on November 1, puts Aus-              Police (AFP) have charged four people over              [May 3, 2005, SMH] It’s not civilisation’s
tralia and New Zealand back on equal foot-             the detection of 91 kg of ecstasy (MDMA)                biggest problem but, thanks to the ingenuity
ing – in line with deals already in place in           hidden inside barbecues in a shipping con-              of a Sydney woman, a solution is in the can.
the United Kingdom. Under the new laws,                tainer bound for Melbourne. Customs offi-               Soon after purchasing Doogal the cat in Jan-
backpackers holding a one-year working                 cers inspected the container at Port Botany             uary, Jo Lapidge saw Meet the Fockers, star-
visa, who undertook three months of season-            after its arrival from The Netherlands two              ring a cat trained to use its owner’s toilet.
al harvest work, would now be able to apply            weeks ago. They located 370,000 tablets with            Two months later, she had developed her
for a second visa.                                     a street value of $18 million. The bust comes           first invention, Litter-Kwitter, a system of
                                                       exactly one week after the AFP seized more              colour-coded rings that eventually eliminate
                                                       than one tonne of MDMA tablets – the                    the traditional litter tray. Kittens can be
                                                       world’s largest-ever ecstasy haul: “This is a           trained in eight weeks: “Training Doogal was
                                                       substantial ecstacy seizure and will result in          a lot easier than my son.” Litter-Kwitter sells
                                                       considerable disruption to the illicit drug             for $80 to $140, compared with $4,000 to
                                                       trade.”                                                 maintain a litter tray over a cat’s life. The
                                                                                                               only drawback? Mrs Lapidge hasn’t managed
                                                                Transformed the                                to train Doogal to flush: “If only I had a
                                                                   state: Sir Joh                              penny for every time someone asked me
The cure all miracle water. Photo: SMH                 Joh’s sun has
                                                       finally set                                             Land of the killer sheep
Mysteries of the magic water                           [April 24, 2005, The                                    [May 4, 2005, SMH] Only in New Zealand
man                                                    Sun-Herald] With his                                    could they come up with a homicidal sheep
[April 16, 2005, SMH] Cristina Marcon says             beloved Lady Flo by                                     epic. And even before a frame of film has
her eczema has cleared up, Mark Fitzharris             his side, the end                                       been shot, an Australian film distributor has
believes his multiple sclerosis is much bet-           finally came for Sir                                    bought the rights to Black Sheep, a New
ter, and Milton Macdonald declares that his            Joh Bjelke-Petersen last night, after a week            Zealand horror comedy about killer sheep.
arthritis pain has gone away – all thanks to           in which he should have departed but                    “Only a New Zealand filmmaker could come
a brand of bottled mineral water “invented”            instead proved himself stubborn to the end.             up with a story that turns the cute and cud-
by Australian Russell John Beckett. Beckett            The peanut-farmer-turned politician died,               dly into the evil and menacing.”
claims the “miracle water” cures all manner            aged 94, surrounded by his family in a little               Written and to be directed by Jonathan
of ailments, and articles in Canada and Aus-           hospital room in Kingaroy, the town he put              King, the film sees the tranquil New Zealand
tralia initially seemed to support this claim.         on the map. “So now an era has passed,” Ken             farmland disturbed by a genetic experiment
However, with Beckett’s educational creden-            Crooke, Sir Joh’s former press secretary, said          gone wrong that turns sheep into crazed
tials now in dispute, “published” research             outside the hospital. “A chapter in Australia’s         killers. The Weta Workshop of Lord of the
papers proven to be non-existent, and his              and Queensland’s political history has                  Rings director Peter Jackson will be doing
trail gone cold, perhaps the last word should          closed. Love him or hate him, no one – then             the special effects.
go to Beckett: “ ... therefore I could be put          or since – has been able to bestride the polit-
into the category of being a snake oil sales-          ical stage and instil emotions in the same
man.”                                                  way as Sir Joh.”

                               Crowd      “Singing Budgie” does good
                              pleaser     [April 18, 2005, Sun-Herald] Kylie Minogue’s greatest hits Showgirl tour opened in Dublin recently to 8,000 Irish
                              ... Kylie   fans and rave reviews. Minogue appeared on stage, dressed in the now infamous dazzling jewelled blue corset, for
                          Minogue on
                                          an extraordinarily visual extravaganza. This is definitely a greatest hits show, shifting from one classic to the next,
                          Photo: AFP      and often merging various numbers into one another to create a seamless presentation. Songs included Better The
                                          Devil You Know, Slow, and a saucy jazz version of Locomotion. Minogue, once described by critics as “the singing
                                          budgie”, seemed to relax during the final encore, when she came on stage in a simple turquoise trouser suit,
                                          singing on her own, laughing and joking with the crowd.

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                            May 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                                                                          also entered New Zealand on an Iraqi pass-
                                                                                                          port and would be removed.

NZ PM’s flight fright                                                                                     South Island rocks
[April 13, 2005, SMH] A small plane carry-                                                                [May 3, 2005, NZ Herald] Two strong, shal-
ing New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark                                                                low earthquakes near Haast on the West
was involved in an emergency landing on                                                                   Coast early today reportedly caused minimal
the country’s north island this morning. The                                                              damage, but were felt as far away as
plane landed at Paraparaumu Airport, north                                                                Christchurch. The first quake, measuring 6
of Wellington, after it reportedly lost altitude                                                          on the Richter scale, struck at 3.35 am 10 km
rapidly after a door flung open. A rescue con-                                                            south of Haast, the second five minutes later
trol centre spokeswoman told National                                                                     measured 5.7 and was 10 km southwest of
Radio the aircraft made a distress call short-                                                            the town. Both were between 10 km and 15
ly before it was due to land at Paraparaumu                                                               km deep. The second earthquake was larger
Airport. Police and fire services had been                                                                than normal for an aftershock, but otherwise
alerted. Clark was in Rotorua last night,                                                                 there had been fewer and smaller after-
speaking to the Grey Power annual confer-                                                                 shocks than would have been expected.

The $7,475 cigarette                               Mel Jupp says she knew the orb-web spider was
[April 15, 2005, NZ Herald] A cigarette butt       not a local and wondered how it had found its way
auctioned on the internet has smashed visi-        into the back section of her Hamilton home. Pic-
tor-number records at the TradeMe auction          ture: Amos Chapple
house. The Marlboro butt was purported to
be the last cigarette smoked at Auckland bar
Malt prior to the introduction of anti-smok-       Aussie visitor anything but incy
ing legislation on December 10.                    wincy
    Bidding was hectic for the resin-encased,      [April 18, 2005, NZ Herald] A huge eight-
wood-mounted gasper, which finally sold for        legged freak has invaded the back section of
a hefty $7,475. The auction has had a pro-         a Hamilton home. The harmless orb-web spi-
found effect on Arsenalboy, the Aucklander         der (Nephila edulis) from Australia was dis-
who put the commemorative ciggie up for            covered last Thursday. Every year, thousands
sale: “This has touched a nation. It is a spir-    of the baby spiders balloon their way across
itual thing that has happened, and has             the Tasman but they seldom survive NZ’s
brought a nation together like nothing for a       cold winter. This spider, which could grow to
long, long time.”                                  a leg span of 24 cm, is living in a web nearly
                                                   2 m wide. The golden yellow web was                    Scribe. NZ Herald
NZ burger a load of beef                           renowned for its strength, perfect for trap-
[April 14, 2005, NZ Herald] Hamburgers             ping blowflies and insects – and unsuspect-            Choice, bro
made with New Zealand meat are being sold          ing humans.                                            [May 7, 2005, NZ Herald] It’s lucky that
by a London restaurant for 55 pounds ($146)                                                               Scribe made it as a hip-hopper because he
each. Zuma in fashionable Knightsbridge            NZ immigration rocked by                               didn’t have any aptitude for anything less.
sells the 200g slabs of wagyu breed cow with       Saddam men                                             The-then just-plain-old Malo Luafatu had
an order of fries to the city’s rich and           [May 3, 2005, SMH] An embarrassed New                  dropped out of his Christchurch high school
famous. Restaurant owner Rainer Becker             Zealand government has ordered an urgent               out of sheer boredom before trying his hand
said he introduced the burger after a request      shake-up of its immigration system after it            at a variety of menial jobs. He eventually
from James Bond star Pierce Brosnan, who           was revealed two former members of Sad-                joined a local hip-hop crew and went from
ordered wagyu beef while the two dined in          dam Hussein’s Iraqi regime were staying in             “...doing gigs for bar tabs of $50 each ...” to a
Japan. A spokeswoman for the restaurant            the country. The move followed the revela-             breakthrough album titled: The Crusader.
said: “Our wagyu beef comes from New               tion that a former Iraqi cabinet member of             Its music is the closest thing Australasia has
Zealand, where the cows are reared on beer         the 1980s had entered the country a month              to American rap, but thankfully without the
and massaged until they weigh three-quar-          before and was seeking refugee status. The             crotch-grabbing, gun-toting nonsense that
ters of a ton, more than double the weight of      government later confirmed that former Iraqi           goes with it. Scribe became the first Kiwi
an average cow.” The burgers work out at $10       agriculture minister Amer Mahdi Alkashali,             artist to simultaneously hold the No. 1 spot
a bite.                                            known as Amer Mahdi Saleh Khashaly, had                on both the single and album charts.

                                                                                                             Decks, Sunrooms and

   Kiwi Installations                                            Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                          Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                       Free in-home/cottage estimates.

May 2005                                                                                       • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Sydney Morning Herald

Crikey! “As if the rules of cricket weren’t
confusing enough!” moans Norman Leek, of
East Ryde. “At the practice nets at West Pym-
ble Oval a sign at the batsman’s end indi-
cates that the ‘Use of practice nets before
9:00 am is prohibited’, while at the bowler’s
end a similar sign indicates that practice is
prohibited before 8:00 am. There are a
dozen jokes here about the intellectual
capacity of bowlers and their clear need for
extra hours of training, but we’ll leave them
to the batsmen. [Apr 21]

Random act. Wendy Yates, of Bass Hill,
reports that her eight-year-old brother                Price-cutting: forward Steve Price makes valuable metres for Australia before being col-
spends hours studying the atlas. “When                 lared by the New Zealand defence last night. Photo: Andy Zakeli
asked what he was looking for, he said: ‘Ran-
dom, because so many things happen               tury. The real story out of the world champi-        Top jockey’s licence withdrawn
there’.” [Apr 21]                                ons’ 32-16 win was the crowd. The 40,317             [May 13, 2005, NZ Herald]Champion jockey
                                                 attendance was the largest in 22 trans-Tas-          Lisa Cropp yesterday had her licence with-
Yank it. Stuart Campbell, of Bondi, watched      man Tests held in Brisbane and the biggest           drawn indefinitely. NZ Thoroughbred Rac-
in horror as Bert Newton chatted to a chef on    for any Australian home international since          ing officials will say only that the
TV yesterday about the best way to bake          1970. Players revealed after the six-tries-to-       extraordinary action was “on medical
“ANZAC cookies”. “Cookies?” wailed Stuart.       three win that Bennett had recounted Anzac           grounds”. Cropp yesterday flew from Auck-
“Has it really come to this?” [Apr 26]           stories from the newspapers before they took         land to New Plymouth to take five rides at
                                                 the field. The result was a convincing,              the Hawera races. On arrival she was met by
Chuff stuff. For four years, Dick Smith of       although sometimes untidy win.                       the racecourse inspector, who told her she
peanut butter and helicopter fame has stood                                                           would not be riding and advised her to leave.
on the corner of Market and George Streets       Aussie becomes bowling’s king                        Cropp denied there was anything sinister in
during the Anzac Day march, with a sign          pin                                                  the stand-down: “I got crook. I’ve been wast-
saying “Thanks”. He was stunned, and not a       [April 24, 2005, SMH] Leading NSW ten-pin            ing too hard to ride the filly on Saturday.”
little chuffed, when “around 80 Vietnam vets     bowler Jason Belmonte has become the first           Cropp had been engaged to ride 2-year-old
marched past, and every one of them pulled       Australian male to win the World Bowler of           filly Vegas Showgirl at an incredibly light 45
out a small sign reading ‘Thank You’ ”. [Apr     the Year Award. The 21-year-old Belmonte,            kg in Saturday’s $40,000 Gould Photogra-
27]                                              from the NSW town of Orange, is also the             phers Rotorua Stakes.
                                                 youngest male ever to receive the award fol-
                                                 lowing his outstanding performances dur-             2011 may be our last
from our southern sport fans
                                                 ing the 2004 year: “It is the greatest
                                                 achievement I could think of getting and
                                                                                                      [May 12, 2005, NZ Herald] New Zealand’s bid
                                                                                                      for the 2011 Rugby World Cup may be its last
                                                 when I received the award I needed some-             chance to host the tournament because of
It’s a runaway success                           body to slap me to make sure it was real.”           soaring costs. Hosts in 1987, NZ has submit-
[April 23, 2005, SMH] Anzac legends helped       Belmonte, who has bowled 19 perfect games            ted a financially robust and compelling bid
inspire Australia to victory, but their Test     of 300, praised his parents for their                to the International Rugby Board, but time is
against New Zealand at Suncorp Stadium           unswerving support and encouragement                 running out for smaller countries to host
last night owed more to international rugby      from his junior years until he was good              rugby’s biggest event because of the escalat-
league’s golden era in the middle of last cen-   enough to cover his own costs.                       ing scale of such sporting pageants. New
                                                                                                      Zealand’s capacity to host such a large-scale
                                                                                                      event is expected to be judged in part on the
                                                                                                      success of the upcoming Lions tour. The bid
                                                                                                      alone is costing up to $3 million, and a $30
                                                                                                      million fund has been set up to meet costs if
                                                                                                      the bid is successful. There are no figures
                                                                                                      available to say how much hosting the cup
                                                                                                      would cost, but the benefits may be $380
                                                                                                      million in spending and $90 million in tax
                                                                                                      revenue. The decision will be made in

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                May 2005
Movie, Video & TV roundup
                                                     est city. Local police sergeant Frank Jackson
                                                     rules the community roost, and things
                                                     around Jackson’s Wharf are usually done his
                                                                                                            consider alternating events between Friday
                                                                                                            and Saturday nights (for those who work Sat-
                                                                                                            urday nights), and that we even consider
                                                     way. But when his hot-shot brother Ben                 other nights of the week (i.e., Thursday
What’s on APTN                                       moves his children back to the town, the sib-          nights) for events such as club nights. And
We are now receiving regular updates from            ling rivalry between the pair threatens to             there were these concluding comments:
APTN about programming from Australia                affect everyone around them. Tuesdays at
and New Zealand. In future issues of the             12:30 pm and 9:00 pm                                   I always attend ANZAC observances at Bruce
Yarn, we will include upcoming dates and                 What Became of the Broken Hearted –                Park. They mean a lot to me since I served
titles in case you would like to see some pro-       The film Once Were Warriors centred upon               with NZ Forces in the 1960s. Coupling a
grams from home.                                     Rena Owen’s Beth and her struggle to deal              potluck and casino with ANZAC observance
     Aroha – ‘Ehara toku aroha it te kiri            with and keep her family together in the face          just doesn’t work for me. I have stopped going.
aroha, engari he aroha no te whatumanawa’            of an abusive and violent husband. What                I guess I’m being oversensitive but I just want
maori proverb meaning: ‘My love is not skin          Became Of The Broken Hearted picks up five             to “remember” my buddies, not socialise.
deep, but a swelling of the passion of my            years later and spotlights Temuera Morri-
heart’. This series of contemporary Maori            son’s Jake in a story of realisation, growth           The Folklorama experience makes me think
love stories crosses all boundaries of age,          and ultimately the search for redemption.              that we ought not try to push the club too far
culture, life and death, and even taboos.            May 28, 29 and 30                                      into ambitious projects, at least very, very often.
Wednesdays at 1:30 pm                                    Quigley Down Under – A self-assured
     Day of the Dog – Doug Dooligan, a 19-           American sharpshooter moves to Australia               I am amazed at the amount of time and effort
year-old Aborigine, is just out of jail and          in search of employment, and finds work for            put in by some members (especially during
wants to stay out of trouble. Some of his            a despotic land baron in the Australian out-           Folklorama years) in order to make things
friends have other ideas. A compelling story         back. June 1 and 5                                     happen. Though boasting a healthy member-
of contemporary Aboriginal life. May 20 and                                                                 ship roster, we never see too many. Not sure
21                                                   And the Survey says ...                                what we can do about this, but it is important
     Greenstone – Greenstone is the sweep-           The April issue of the Yarn included the               that any new attendees at functions are warm-
ing romantic saga of a headstrong Maori              main responses to the Survey, and this issue           ly welcomed and introduced around.
princess torn between two lovers – an                has a few concluding comments. The major-
empire-building English lord and a defiantly         ity of other comments offered thanks for all               Once again, thanks to all those who
independent gun trader. Set as a new era is          our efforts with the Club and The Southern             responded to the Survey. We will make sure
borne out of the bloody collision of two             Yarn. Some people said they intended to be             all suggestions are considered and imple-
races, this is a stirring epic of love, honour,      more involved in the Club in the future,               mented where possible and appropriate.
treachery and bloodshed. Sundays at 8:00             while others regretted their lack of involve-          Remember, the executive door is always
pm                                                   ment due to time and other commitments.                open for any additional comments and sug-
     Jackson’s Wharf – Jackson’s Wharf is a              According to a few respondents re the              gestions you have down the line. Contact us
soap opera set in a small New Zealand                cost of membership: “$20 is pretty cheap for           as, or call Lyn-
coastal town about two hours from the near-          what we get”. Several people suggested we              ley (President) at 275-7631.

                                                Weet-Bix                  kidsClub
                                                                Aussie and Kiwi kids are Weet-Bix kids!
                                                                              Trivia Quiz
                                                                              1. If someone offers you a “cuppa”, say yes and you’ll get ...
                                                                                 a. A punch in the nose; b. A cake; c. A cup of tea
    Wanna play?                                                               2. If someone asks you to come over this “arvo”, when should you arrive?                                   a. This morning; b. This afternoon; c. This weekend
                                                                                                                                                                  Answers: 1c, 2b, 3a, 4c, 5c, 6b, 7c, 8a, 9c, 10b
    Hey, kids. Check out these fabulous games,                                3. If someone asks you where the “dunny” is, what are they looking for?
    created as part of the “Game On initiative” that                             a. The toilet; b. The boss; c. The pub
                                                                              4. If someone says they are “fair dinkum”, they mean ...
    encourages innovation and supports digital                                   a. They can swim a little; b. They were born in Australia;
    media industry development. The initiative                                   c. They are telling you the truth
    began in Victoria and was commissioned and                                5. If someone says they come from the “Shaky Isles”, they are from ...
                                                                                 a. Hawaii; b. Fiji; c. New Zealand
    funded under the Film Victoria Digital Media
                                                                              6. When driving in New Zealand, look out for the “judder bars”. These are:
    Fund with ABC New Media & Digital Services.                                  a. Mobile drink stands; b. Speed bumps; c. Police
    The ABC wanted to get more out of this rela-                              7. At the beach you might eat “shark and taties” for lunch. You’d be eating:
    tively new way of interactive story-telling on its                           a. Hamburger and milkshake; b. Sandwich and salad; c. Fish and chips
                                                                              8. A “sparkie” is:
    website, and Film Victoria wanted to help further develop the Victorian      a. An electrician; b. A student; c. A politician
    animation and games development industries. In addition to the games,     9. A “sprog” is:
    there are special features on the making of each project, which provide      a. A drink; b. A frog; c. A child
    insight to the immensely creative journey taken by the game makers.       10. To “skite” is:
                                                                                   a. To fly a kite; b. To boast about yourself; c. To slide in at home base;
    Try restoring a town’s water supply in ‘Chasm’ (pictured here).                d. To slide on ice

May 2005                                                                                         • The Southern Yarn 7

the latest on our mates
                                                 southern humour

Welcome to WAI                                   courtesy Jacqueline Cassel-Vernon
WAI from New Zealand is performing at the
Winnipeg International Children’s Festival
(WICF) at The Forks from June 9 to 12.
    This five-member band will present its
original combination of Maori body percus-
sion and vocal harmonies. We have contact-                                                                                                           DO
ed the WICF to see if we can get together with
WAI when they are here. Stay tuned for
details.                                                                                                                                             CL
Happy snaps                                                                                                                                          Win
If you want to see the photos from the                                                                                                               Man
ANZAC Day commemoration on April 22,
then visit
ducw/anzac2005 . Thanks to Brian Hyde-
smith for taking the photos and making
them available for us to view.                            woman brought a very limp pet duck into a veteri-

Fringe out!
The Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Festival is
                                                 A        nary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the
                                                          vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
                                                 bird’s chest.
                                                                                                                 Board of Directors
                                                                                                                 Lynley Wesselingh
looking for volunteers to “fringe out” from           After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly        Vice President:
                                                                                                                 Terry Roberts
July 20 to 30. Staged in the historic            and said, “I’m so sorry, your duck Cuddles has passed
Exchange District, you have the chance to be     away.”                                                          Secretary:
                                                                                                                 Judy Powell
one of the merry pranksters at the hippest            The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”
festival this side of Woodstock. For more             “Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” he replied.”           Jenny Gates
information, visit             How can you be so sure,” she protested. “I mean, you
                                                 haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might           Peter Debenham
Get your down under treats!                      just be in a coma or something.”                                Social Coordinator:
We have the latest product list of treats from        The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the        Peter Munn
Oz, courtesy of the Australian Products Co. If   room, returning a few moments later with a black                Membership:
you want to see what they have to offer,         Labrador Retriever.                                             Lucia Barron
email for a                  As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the
brochure, or visit their website at:             dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the           The Southern Yarn is compiled at:                           examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bot-         get it write.
                                                 tom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook          Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
Stop Press: Minogue                              his head.                                             
Aussie pop star Kylie Minogue has post-               The vet patted the dog and took it out, returning a
poned her world tour after being diagnosed       few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the          Layout and design:
with early breast cancer. Minogue got the        table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to      hydesmith communications
news while at home with her family in Mel-       foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head,
bourne. Doctors are optimistic that every-       meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
thing will be OK because they caught the              The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but      The electronic version of this
cancer at such an early stage.                   as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiable, a dead    newsletter typically contains a
                                                 duck.”                                                          few extra pages of content (in
                                                      Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a        colour!), and can be downloaded
                                                 few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the            in PDF format from the website.
                                                 woman.                                                          A big thank you to all of our
                                                      The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill.” $150!”   contributors within the club,
                                                 she cried. “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!”             from overseas and information
                                                      The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word       services.
                                                 for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab
                                                 Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”                        THE DOWN UNDER

bottomfivesites Meow!
                                                                                                                 CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
                                                                                                                 Station Main, PO Box 1655,
                                                                                                                 Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6 – Kiwi slang                                                1-204-832-4405 email: – Winnipeg Fringe Festival                                                       – Winnipeg Folk Festival                                                    – preview their upcoming movie

8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                           May 2005
             The                                                                                                                        June 2005

Southern Yarn
          NEWSLETTER                      OF        THE    D O W N        U N D E R        CLUB         OF     WINNIPEG              INC.

downundercalendar                       2 0 0 5

 Saturday June 25
 Golf tournament, Shooters,
 10:00 am (18 holes), 11:00 am
 (Texas scramble)
Join us for a great round of golf at Shooters
Family Golf Centre, 2731 Main Street. The
cost is $20 for the traditional 9-hole Texas
Scrabble, and $30 for the more experienced
                                                                                                                           Shooters Family Golf Centre
golfers who want to play 18 holes. Note the
differing tee-off times – 10:00 am start for
those who want 18 holes, and 11:00 am
start for the Texas scramble. There will be
lunch afterwards for all. RSVP to Lynley at
275-7631 ASAP.
                                                      What’s Driving You?!
                                                              nyone for golf? Oh, sure, it looks easy. Aussies Nick O’Hern, Steve Elkington, Karrie
 Sunday June 26
 The Fairmont Winnipeg Paws in
 Motion, Assiniboine Park
                                                      A       All you gotta do is take a stick – er, Webb, Stuart Appleby and Greg Norman, and
                                                              club – and whack – er, hit – the little Kiwis Bob Charles, Frank Nobilo, Greg Turn-
                                                      white thingy – er, ball – until you can’t see it er, Dasom Lee and Craig Perks. Ah, to be
Join canine members of the DUCW and their             anymore – er, sink it in the hole. Of course their caddies just for one day! And if you
human counterparts in this Walk for Animals           (no putt intended), the hole is on the green, search for the word “golf” on the internet,
in Support of The Winnipeg Humane Society.            not the one you’ve dug trying to whack the you’ll be faced with a daunting 91 million
Feline members must be leashed (and not               little white thingy with the stick.              plus sites to work through.
intent on antagonizing the pooches). This is a             Obviously I am not a                                           So, why do they do it?
casual Club event, and even those who are             golfer, although I have man-                                    According to a recent survey
pet-free can join in the fun. If you want to help     aged to move the ball from its
raise money for the WHS, visit
                                                                                              80% of Australia’s by Ernst and Young, approxi-
                                                      t-marks-the-spot on occasion.                                   mately 80% of Australia’s one              Generally I’ve had to kick it to one million plus play million plus play for the com-
nts/paws_In_Motion.php to download pledge             make any real headway, and I                                    petition, 71% for social interac-
forms and watch a video of last year’s event.         am told that is definitely not       for the competition, tion, and only 60% for exercise.
You might even take home a prize! Otherwise,          accepted golf behaviour.                                        Few would doubt that golfers
just come on out and join in on the fun.                   Listening to friends and            71% for social         around the world just want to
                                                      colleagues go on and on about                                   have fun!
JULY                                                  their great passion for golf is interaction, and only               Whatever your inspiration,
 Sunday July 17, Assiniboine                          inspiring to say the least.                                     there are an abundance of
 Park, 2:00 pm                                                                               60% for exercise.
                                                      Interpreted by some as “obses-                                  golfers of all different abilities
 BBQ 4 U                                              sion”, apparently “real” golfers                                in the DUCW. And coming up
Get outdoors and take advantage of the great
                                                      disagree. It’s their game, it’s their love, it’s is your chance to strut your stuff – er, play a
surrounds of Assiniboine Park as we gather
                                                      the first thing they think of when the snow round – at Shooters on Saturday June 25.
for another relaxing DUCW BBQ. Exact
                                                      starts to melt. (However, I suspect, it’s what Trust me, you don’t have to be able to hit the
location will be revealed in the July Yarn, but
                                                      they think of even when the snow starts to ball like an expert, but you do have to be able
put this date on your calendar.
                                                      fall!)                                           to have a laugh and be a good sport.
                                                           Scan the sports pages and you’ll quickly        Contact Lynley TODAY (275-7631) to sign
                                                      see that some of Australia and New Zealand’s up for the Tournament. The more the merrier!
       the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                      best athletes are golfers. For example,              Jenny Gates
                 Station Main, PO Box 1655
       Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                 telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                      Advertise in The Southern Yarn
                                                          Contact Jenny (831-6527, for all the rates. Send your
                                                          submission by email to or by fax (957-5754) or mail to PO
                                                          Box 1655, Stn Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6.
editorially                                          am starting to think that we live in the      ing the 9-hole Texas scramble. Hopefully, the

    yours      Jenny Gates
                                                 I   Vancouver of the East. In any case, I man-
                                                     aged to get my first swim in today
                                                 between rain showers and while the sun
                                                                                                   course will be much dryer than they have
                                                                                                   been of late. If you haven’t registered and
                                                                                                   still want to play, give me a call (275-7631)
                                                 shined.                                           and we may be able to fit you in. There is
                                                     At our last board meeting the subject of      prize for all players, and there is a lunch to
                                                 Folklorama was brought up and we are aim-         follow, where I’m sure we’ll be regaled with
Rain, rain, go                                   ing to have a pavilion in 2007. I would like      the tails of the day.
away ...                                         your feedback and thoughts on this, so feel            For non-golfers and golfers alike who
        ctually,     I                           free to call me at 275-7631.                      have a K-9 and/or enjoy the outdoors, join in

A       don’t really
        mind it, but I
feel for the farmers
                                                     The big new is that after much looking,
                                                 Jason and I have brought a house and will be
                                                 moving in July. Needless to say, the club will
                                                                                                   the walk for Paws in Motion on Sunday June
                                                                                                        Hope to see you out at one of our summer
who are praying for                              be looking for a new venue to host the Christ-               events.
enough dry time to                               mas party, since the Kenaston location will
get their crops in and keep them from            no longer be available to us. If anyone has a
swimming away. Ironic how down under
farmers are crying out for the stuff,
                                                 please let us       president’s
although reports that some rain has fallen
in the past week holds some promise for
                                                 know. Our new
                                                 house does have
                                                                        report Lynley Wesselingh
things to come.                                  a pool, so there
    Meanwhile, back in the city, we are          may be a pool party in August, but we
being inundated with festivals and events.       will keep you posted.
(Yes, mozzies as well, but they’re only a            The golf tournament is looming
problem if you stand still for too long.)        and we are going to have a much big-
Whether you want to hang around town or          ger turnout than expected for the 18
head out into the wilds of Manitoba, you         holes; a few people will also be enjoy-
might want to visit www.tourism. and www.travelmanito- and get the lowdown on all the
                                                                                               Crows have best IQ of bird-brains
goings on.
    Last Thursday I took in a bit of the Chil-       whoknew?  southern miscellany
                                                                                               [The Courier-Mail]: Crows and falcons have been
dren’s Festival and saw Kiwi group WAI in                                                      placed at the top of the pecking order in the league
action. Very interesting stuff that offered                                                    table of bird-brains. Next come hawks, followed by
quite a different experience for audiences.                                                    woodpeckers and herons. Australian parrots are
The four-person group sang, danced and                                                         “extremely opportunistic”, according to Dr Louis
provided percussive backing to introduce                                                       Lefebvre, who compiled the table. “I can remember
kids and their parents to some of the                                                             seeing them at the train station where they were
Maori language and the vocal style of this                                                            loading sacks of grain, and the parrots were
in-demand group of performers.                                                                           ripping up the bags.” However, parrots were
    And Gerry and I were out in Swan                                                                      disappointingly uninventive, despite having
River for their Folk Fest. A great line-up of                      Emu and                                  the biggest brains of any bird. Sadly, the
performers who spent two days perform-                             Rainbow                                   Australian emu is listed at the dumb end
ing to as many people from the Valley who                            Parrot                                   of the league – slightly behind the
could make it out. A very beautiful drive                                                                       pigeon.
there and back, and we discussed with
several Aussies and Kiwis who live out
there about arranging a half-way day with

                                                              Juneberry pies? Nope, but
Winnipeg Club members. Stay tuned for

                                                             they have everything else!
    This issue of the Yarn has lots of great
info, including the latest Club events and
news from down under. As always, if you
have anything you want to include in
future issues, feel free to send to me at
    And with the sun streaming in my
back window, it’s time to throw a delicious
                                                  Molly’s Meat Pies
piece of Canadian beef on
the barbie!                                                                  390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                               ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                     hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                               June 2005
all things social in the club

What happened ...
    Saturday May 28, Boat Cruise
The Paddle Wheel Queen again took us for a
                                                  The Man from Snowy River ...
leisurely cruise along the Red River, and
allowed us to see the sights and sounds of                   (Now)
Winnipeg from a different perspective.
Doubtful weather was replaced by sunshine         There was movement up in Canberra for the word had got around
by boarding time, and apart from a small          That the Melbourne commo-greenies got their way
shower midway through the cruise, it may          They’d walked into a stoush on Tory hallowed ground
have been the best weather of the weekend.        So all the hacks had gathered to the fray
We had 25 on board, including Fiona and           All the tried and true excuses for national park abuses
Gord Enright, and Sandy and Steve Moynes          Were mustered on the airwaves overnight
and their group, celebrating Sandy’s birth-       For the bushmen love cheap grazing and the
day. A challenging quiz was offered on the        Country Party chooses
history of Winnipeg and the river, and            Top fight for native title – if you’re white.
Susanna La Rue beat all comers to win top
prize.                                            There was Campbell on his high horse
                                                  giving out a constant prattle
What’s ahead ...                                  For preserving ancient custom on the land
    Sat. June 25, Golf Tournament                 Amid the mile-high poop of cattle,
You don’t have to be able to play golf to enjoy   he could smell the sort of battle
this fabulous event. Take part in the Texas       You win by losing on an anti-PC stand ...
scramble (9 holes) or really play a round (18
holes). Lunch will follow. Be sure to contact     And down at Florentino’s the NFF drink vino
Lynley (275-7631) ASAP.                           While the bushmen oblivious ride past
                                                  Like Tasmanian saw-millers and other ‘useful idiots’
                                                  They’ll be poster-boys until they get the arse
                                                  And where round the overkill the push polls sweep and sway
                                                  The bushmen have a case and that’s no lie
                                                  But the man from Snowy River is a House-hold name today
                                                  Cos he’s the bloke who’s being taken for a ride.

                                                  Yes the man from Snowy River is a household name today
                                                  And spin-doctors tell the story of his ride.

    Sunday June 26, Paws in Motion
Join canine members of the DUCW and their         Guy Rundie (with apologies) – courtesy Ken Coad]
human counterparts in this Walk for Ani-
mals in Support of The Winnipeg Humane
Society. This is a casual Club event, and a
great opportunity to be outside and support
an excellent cause at the same time. Be sure                                                     Remember to RSVP to
to visit                                                          Peter Munn 237-1805 or
special_Events/paws_In_Motion.php         to                                        
download pledge forms and watch a video of
last year’s event. No need to RSVP, but per-
haps give Terry Roberts a call (663-6549) to
arrange a meeting spot. Otherwise, just
come on out and join in on the fun.

    Sun. July 17, Barbie in the Park
Join us in Assiniboine Park for a great oppor-
tunity to relax, savour the sights and sounds
of summer, meet the newest addition to the
Zoo (a baby bison born just a few weeks ago),
and catch up with fellow club members. All
details in the July Yarn.

June 2005                                                                             • The Southern Yarn 3
                                                 pasar District Court earlier, her shocked             Shear Aussie talent takes top
from our Aussie contributors
                                                 lawyers and family denounced the verdict
                                                 handed down by three Indonesian judges as
                                                                                                       wool prize
                                                                                                       [June 12, 2005, SMH] It’s taken 2,988 sheep,
                                                 a miscarriage of justice. Corby’s conviction          17 countries, 80 bales of wool – and a heap
King of                                          and sentencing for trying to smuggle mari-            of hard yakka in anyone’s language – for
comedy                                           juana into Bali dismayed her supporters and           Australia to prove itself as the world’s shear-
dies                                             lawyers, who argued the drugs were placed             ing superpower. Shearers from 17 nations
[May 25, 2005,                                   in her bag, without her knowledge, by drug            have drawn blades for international
SMH] Television                                  smugglers in Australia. Judges also fined             supremacy at the Golden Shears World
legend Graham                                    Corby 100 million rupiah ($13,875).                   Championships at Toowoomba, west of Bris-
Kennedy       has                                                                                      bane. But it was Australia that out-clipped
died at a nurs-                                    A city under a cloud.                               the world, with Shannon Warnest from the
ing home in the                                             Photo: SMH                                 tiny South Australian town of Willalooka
NSW southern                                                                                           winning his second Golden Shears trophy.
highlands. The                                   What’s the                                            Australia also took out the machine-shear-
veteran      Aus- Graham Kennedy. SMH            matter with                                           ing team event, while New Zealand picked up
tralian enter- Photo                             Sydney?                                               the team and individual wool handling
tainer won 19 Logie awards, including five       May 30, 2005, SMH:                                    events.
gold statuettes, since bursting onto Aus-        Sydney is in desper-
tralian television screens in 1957: “He was      ate shape. Dam lev-                                      Eating Crowe: in handcuffs
the undisputed king of Australian television     els have dipped                                           from the police station to
... loved by the world.” Kennedy’s shows         below 40 per cent                                         Manhattan Criminal Court.
include The Graham Kennedy Show (which           capacity for the first                                              Photo: Reuters
he hosted for 13 years), Blankety Blanks and     time, and there are
Graham Kennedy’s Funniest Home Video             fears       Sydney’s                                  Phone rage and six
Show, as well as movie credits Don’s Party       weather     patterns                                  odd feet of grunt
and The Odd Angry Shot.                          will have far-reaching consequences for               [June 8, 2005, SMH] The celebrity agent
                                                 water, food and gardens. The city groans              Harry M. Miller feels for Russell Crowe: “The
G’day, it’s your                                 under the weight of its rapidly growing pop-          sad truth is I wouldn’t mind a dollar for every
Universal look                                   ulation; public transport is chaotic, unreli-         time I’ve wanted to jam a phone down the
[May 26, 2005, SMH]                              able and sometimes unsafe; roads are                  throat of a hopeless telephone operator.”
Australians all let us                           congested; impossible demands cause ener-             Wanted to, maybe, but Miller never has.
rejoice ... for this is our                      gy, land, housing and water shortages; and            Crowe, on the other hand, is a man more
national         costume,                        five decades of official complacency on plan-         inclined to act on his urges. Frustrated by
according to our Miss                            ning has left the Carr Government strug-              his inability to call his wife and son from his
Universe challenger                              gling to meet community expectations.                 New York hotel, the actor stormed downstairs
Michelle Guy. It’s a                             Plans to alleviate the challenges include             and allegedly whacked the concierge with
curious       confection,                        train line construction, a series of light rail       the faulty phone. While Crowe admits he lost
possibly inspired by                             extensions, smarter housing and energy                his temper – and that he threw the phone at
Crocodile         Dundee                         choices, and a plan to protect agriculture in         a wall – he denies there was any assault.
flower and feather                               the Sydney Basin.                                     Harry M. Miller’s advice? “Keep your head
shopping before cross-                                                                                 down, Russ, and buy a Nokia.”
dressing in a split
skirt. But, as national Australia’s Michelle
costumes go, it didn’t Guy in national             Sowing seeds of hope as the Big Dry finally breaks
impress the Miss Uni- costume. Photo: AFP          [June 13, 2005, SMH] It will not
verse judges enough.                               be enough to set off wild partying
Last year the contest was won by Australia’s       in the paddocks, but parched
Jennifer Hawkins.                                  farmers across the state can look
                                                   forward to more rain – the second
Corby jailed for 20 years                          delivery in a double dosing for
[May 27, 2005, SMH] Australian Schapelle           many – today and tomorrow. The
Corby dried her tears behind the walls of          best falls were likely to occur in
Bali’s Kerobokan jail tonight, vowing to fight     the northern half of NSW: “We’re      The Wyangala
her drug smuggling conviction and 20-year          expecting more rain to come in        Dam, near Cowra,
prison sentence. In chaotic scenes at Den-         from the north-west, from Queens-     is down to 8 per
Schapelle                                          land and central Australia. It        cent capacity.
Corby reacts                                       should hit the north, say Bourke,     Photo: Nick Moir
as judges deliv-                                   in the morning, and reach the cen-
er the verdict.                                    tral west of NSW late in the evening or overnight.” Meanwhile, the Federal Government has
Photo: Dita                                        increased its drought assistance to more than $1.25 billion for farmers suffering from the effects
Alangkara                                          of one of the worst droughts in a century.

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                  June 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                   State of emergency at Matata to
                                                   be lifted today
                                                                                                         ders the river, was the first to spot the whale:
                                                                                                         “We had all the children from round here
                                                   [May 30, 2005, NZ Herald] The state of emer-          and about 10 family members having a good
                                                   gency at flood-devastated Matata will be lift-        afternoon looking at him. He looked pretty
                                                   ed later today. Almost two weeks after the            tired. He tried beaching himself a few
                                                   floods hit, State Highway 2 from Matata to            times.”The Department of Conservation sent
                                                   Tauranga will be opened at 3:00 pm, but               staff to the river yesterday but the whale had
                                                   police will continue to monitor Matata close-         gone by the time they arrived.
                                                   ly. A total of 114 houses have been affected by
                                                   the floods, with 27 being declared unsafe
                                                   and another 27 not suitable for occupation
                                                   until remedial building works have been
                                                   completed. Housing New Zealand is continu-
T-shirts sold to raise funds for breast cancer     ing the work to match available housing with
research. Photo: BCRT                              evacuees, while in Tauranga emergency
                                                   work is continuing to make sites safe and to
T-shirts raise $760,000 for                        get people back into their homes.
breast cancer research                                                                                   George Fistonich and Seddon Pinot Noir Vineyard,
[May 28, 2005, NZ Herald] Put top New              Book thief’s jail sentence                            Marlborough
Zealand fashion designers in a chain store         reduced
and what do you get? A large sum of money          [May 30, 2005, NZ Herald] The central figure          Queen’s birthday honours:
for breast cancer research. Glassons               in a gang of thieves who plundered libraries          Rewarded for having some bottle
announced yesterday that it had raised             from Auckland to Invercargill has had his             [June 6, 2005, NZ Herald] George Fistonich
$760,000 for the Breast Cancer Research            jail term reduced from 5? years to three              was raised in Mangere on “nice, warm milk”
Trust after selling a record 76,000 T-shirts.      years. The Court of Appeal said the                   he squirted into a billy from the family cow
The T-shirts featured designs by Karen             Christchurch District Court judge should              each day before school. Today, the Queen’s
Walker, Zambesi, Trelise Cooper, Huffer,           have given Lee John Simpson extra credit for          Birthday Honours recipient offers tastings of
Tanya Carlson and Kate Sylvester. New              the help he gave police in recovering books,          gold-medal-winning wines to writers from
Zealand has one of the highest rates of            1,700 of which had been found. From 1995,             Japan, the United States and England at his
breast cancer in the world, affecting one in       the gang stole old and often rare books               Villa Maria Group’s $30 million headquar-
10 women and claiming 600 lives every year.        worth a total of $1 million.                          ters overlooking 40ha of Mangere’s rich vol-
                                                                                                         canic soil. A “wine park” is taking shape
                             Maori Party           ‘Pure NZ’ campaign praised                            there, handy to Auckland Airport, and Mr
                             ‘biggest in the       [June 1, 2005, NZ Herald] Tourism New                 Fistonich intends it to become a showplace
                             country’              Zealand’s 100 percent Pure campaign has               for the country’s wine industry. It is service
                          [May 29, 2005, NZ        won international plaudits. Time magazine             to the industry that has earned Mr Fistonich
                          Herald]      Soaring     has said the campaign is a prime example of           the title of Distinguished Companion of the
                          membership num-          good national branding and a United                   New Zealand Order of Merit – the highest
                          bers have seen the       Nations agency said the campaign had                  honour handed out in the Queen’s Birthday
                          Maori Party claim to     boosted exports and tourism. The campaign,            list. For a full list, visit:
                          be the largest politi-   cultivating an image of quality and fresh-            (Monday June 6).
                          cal party in New         ness with the “100 percent Pure New
                          Zealand. It claims       Zealand” slogan was frequently cited as a             Amphibian poised to blitz Channel
        Dr. Pita Sharples that its hard work at    case study for international marketers: “Get-         [June 7, 2005, NZ Herald] Auckland busi-
                          grassroots      level    ting independent, unprompted endorsement              nessman Maurice Bryham hopes the weath-
walking the streets, talking to people and         ... is a great reflection of the effectiveness of     er will be good enough today to allow him to
helping enrol potential voters for this year’s     the campaign in raising awareness of New              take an English Channel crossing record off
election has helped boost its membership           Zealand as a tourism destination.”                    Sir Richard Branson. Mr Bryham wants to
numbers to nearly 17,000. Deputy leader and                                                              break the Virgin head’s record of 1hr 40m 6s
Tamaki Makaurau candidate Pita Sharples            Whale swims up river                                  for crossing the 34km Channel in an
sounded a warning to other parties that            [June 7, 2005, NZ Herald] Hawkes Bay con-             amphibious craft, set last year. And he is so
while the Maori Party may not have much            servation workers are searching for a juve-           confident in the power of his rigid-inflatable
money, “we have the troops and the drive to        nile pygmy sperm whale that swam 800m up              that he aims to smash the record rather than
succeed”.                                          the Nuhaka River and into the Waimauku                merely break it.
                                                   Stream. Sonny Haenga, whose property bor-

                                                                                                         Decks, Sunrooms and

   Kiwi Installations                                            Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                      Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                   Free in-home/cottage estimates.

June 2005                                                                                     • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Sydney Morning Herald
                                                   from our southern sport fans
                                                                                                     athleticism is obvious when the candidates
                                                                                                     for the vacant role of blindside breakaway
                                                                                                     are considered, with several big men all
“When does a day trip become domestic              Thousands salute Crusaders                        capable of displaying the agility and skill
tourism?” asks David Bolt, of Mortlake. “My        [May 30, 2005, NZ Herald] The Crusaders           necessary to move between a number of
wife and I were shopping in Burwood (left          rugby team have officially been handed the        positions in the Australian side.
on map, below) on Sunday afternoon when            keys to Christchurch following their fifth
we were approached by a couple who intro-          Super 12 triumph at the weekend. The city’s
duced themselves as ‘tourists’. They asked         Cathedral Square was packed with an esti-
some questions about the Westfield complex         mated 5,000 fans for a victory parade at
across the road, and then we asked where           which captain Richie McCaw again lifted the
they were from. The answer? Vaucluse.”             trophy. Christchurch mayor Garry Moore,
[June 2]                                           making the presentation, told fans the play-
                                                   ers were the leaders of the South Island
                                                   tribe. The Crusaders beat the Waratahs 35-
                                                   25 at Jade Stadium on Saturday night.

                                                   welcomed in
                                                   [May 30, 2005, NZ
                                                   Herald] The Lions
                                                   faced up to their first
                                                   challenge in the                                  Crash landing: Fremantle’s Josh Carr misses a
                                                   same way they are                                 mark over Sydney’s Brett Kirk at the SCG yester-
“A friend gave my daughter a purple fluffy         likely to face off Lions tour manager Bill        day. Photo: Steve Christo
‘angel halo’ for her third birthday,” writes       against     the     All Beaumont accepts the
Jane Needham, of Darlinghurst. “The label          Blacks, somewhat         challenge from Maori     Ugly Swans are set up beautifully
read ‘Warning. This is not a toy’. So it’s real?   defiantly. At the offi-  warrior Richard Whar-    [June 13, 2005, SMH] It’s been a bit of a sea-
Why did the angel give it up? Will it make         cial welcome at          erahi. Photo: Reuters    son for the Swans. Everyone, it seems, has
her angelic?” [June 2]                             Rotorua’s Te Papaiou-        Below: the trophy    taken a shot at the way they play, and they
                                                   ru Marae, the team                                have had more than their share of injuries.
Karen Loblay, of Double Bay, has been shop-        were welcomed by a                                Yet heading into the AFL’s split round, the
ping for a new jumper. “I wanted to check if       powhiri, and were                                 Swans “turn” entrenched in the top eight
it was wool and found the label,” she writes.      challenged by a                                   and just percentage points out of the top
“It read ‘100% wool. Do not wash in water. Do      Maori warrior with                                four, helped by yesterday’s win against Fre-
not dry clean.”’ [June 3]                          full moko at the                                  mantle, their fifth from their past six games
                                                   marae       entrance.                             [Sydney 16.13 (109) Fremantle 10.11 (71)]:
Andrew Dunstall, of Gladesville, reports a         Lions captain Brian                               “We’re obviously winning, but there’s still a
far more disturbing development in public          O’Driscoll remained                               heap of room for improvement, as far as kick-
transport security. “Seen on the black box of      composed, staring                                 ing and too much handball, and that was
a Sydney bus on Victoria Road (under a seat        into his opponent’s eye during the wero           pretty evident today.”
near the rear doors),” he writes, “was the         (challenge). The Lions also sang a waiata,
label ‘Passenger Thought Monitor’.” [June 3]       but didn’t have quite the oomph of Sir            Swimming: Test for NZ’s best
                                                   Howard Morrison, who sang How Great Thou          [June 10, 2005, NZ Herald] New Zealand’s
“On the first day of winter I witnessed my         Art in Maori.                                     top swimmers will measure themselves
daughter’s preschool teacher at Amaroo,                 The trophy that the All Blacks and           against Australia’s best at Canberra this
ACT, kindly fixing signs to the walls warning      Lions will contest was unveiled yesterday in      weekend as they build up to next month’s
parents and children to take care on the           Rotorua during the Lions’ official welcome.       world championships in Montreal. A 13-
early morning frost,” writes Matthew Ilic.         The 61cm-tall, Waterford Crystal creation         strong New Zealand squad will contest a
“Unfortunately, whilst sticking up the signs,      took more than 150 hours to make.                 grand prix meet against Australia’s world
she slid on the very same ice and fell, dislo-                                                       championship team and the best state swim-
cating her thumb. Get well soon, Bronwyn,          Wallabies fittest yet: Jones                      mers. Coach Jan Cameron is not expecting
and thank you.” [June 4]                           [June 8, 2005, SMH] In a positive omen for        fast times, but said the competition would
                                                   this season’s Wallabies campaign, coach           provide invaluable race experience.
While driving along the F3, Julian Saide, of       Eddie Jones believes he has the fittest, best
Cremorne, was struck by the irony of “a long-      prepared squad yet in his fifth year in
winded message board telling me about the          charge. In previous seasons, Jones has
dangers of texting while driving”. [June 6]        underlined the need for players to step up
                                                   from Super 12 to international rugby. The
                                                   intensity will have to lift again this year for
                                                   those in the Australian squad, but the side
                                                   seemed particularly primed. The degree of

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                               June 2005
                                                   Weet-Bix                  kidsClub
                                                                   Aussie and Kiwi kids are Weet-Bix kids!

    Time for a chuckle!

    What happened to the dog that swallowed
    a firefly?
    It barked with de-light!
    Why did the computer go to the doctors?
                                                   What should the character above be saying? Visit the (select ‘fun stuff’) to
    Because it had a virus.
                                                   see what others think, then email swamp your caption:
    A frog walked into a bank and went to talk
                                                   A perennial birthday favourite for grown-ups and kids alike, who knew there was actually a recipe for
    to a loan officer named Patty. The frog
                                                   Fairy Bread?! If you haven’t made any lately but feeling like you need to reconnect with your inner child,
    said, ‘I would like a loan.’
                                                   then try this recipe courtesy and get your taste buds
    Patty said, ‘Well, sir, we can’t give you a
                                                   whirling! Oh, and don’t forget the kids like it too!
    ‘Why not?’ asked the frog.
    ‘Well,’ said Patty, ‘You’re a frog.’
    ‘I’d like to see the President of the Bank,’
                                                                                                                              tuckerbox .
    said the frog.
    So Patty went and got the President.
                                                                                              Take a big empty plate. It needs to be big because you’re
    ‘What seems to be the problem?’ asked
                                                                                              bound to spill some of your precious coloured sugar when
    the President.
                                                                                              coating the bread.
    ‘This woman says I can’t have a loan
                                                                                              Use white bread. Fresh, fluffy and not too holey.
    because I’m a frog.’
                                                                                              Spread liberally with butter or margarine. Make sure to
    ‘Well, do you have collateral?’ asked the
                                                                                              reach into all four corners. Don’t freak out about how much
                                                                                              butter is used – you only need to make the bread an adhe-
    The frog pulled a small glass elephant out
                                                                                              sive surface.
    of his pocket.
                                                                                              Take the 100s & 1000s and prepare them for sprinkling.
    ‘What is that!?’ exclaimed Patty.
                                                                                              Shake 100s & 1000s over buttered bread. Don’t worry
    The President says, ‘It’s a knick-knack,
                                                    Fairy Bread                               about spillage – you’ll soon become a master of shaking
    Patty.’ Whack!!! ‘Give the frog a loan.’
                                                                                              onto bread only.
                                                    The secret to making the perfect          Slice in half, diagonally. DO NOT cut into halves from any of
    Once there was an Irish man, an English-
                                                    piece of fairy bread (with variations).   the straight edges. Your fairy bread will taste significantly
    man and an Australian who decided to
                                                    • Fresh, thick slice white bread          different.
    have a competition. While on top of the hill
                                                      (must be white)                         Display your finished fairy bread on top of each other. Pile
    each man had to chuck his watch in the
                                                    • Butter (lots of it)                     them up, they won’t stick to each other if you’ve used plenty
    air, then run down the hill and catch it
                                                    • 100s & 1000s                            of 100s & 1000s.
    before it hit the ground. So the Irishman
                                                      (beware of imitators)                   Eat!!
    chucked his watch in the air, ran down the
    hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.        Variations
    Then the Englishman chucked his watch in        1. Nutella. A perfect butter         2. Squash ‘em. Combine             3. Trim. Crusts may be
    the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the        substitute, Nutella is especially    bread, butter and 100s &           removed.
    watch hit the ground. Next was the Aus-         appreciated by chocoholics.          1000s as you please. Put two       Four triangles can be cut if
    tralian who chucked his watch in the air,       Spread bread with Nutella all        pieces together, SQUASH, sep-      making for children.
    ran down the hill, went and had a cold          over. Again, don’t miss the cor-     arate, cut into 1/2s or 1/4s,      To transport, squash two com-
    drink, did the shopping, came back and          ners. Sprinkle with 100s &           eat, drop 100s & 1000s all         plete slices together. That way
    caught his watch. “How did you do that?”        1000s. Cut into fingers (or sol-     over the floor. The squashing      you’ll never loose any of the
    asked the Irishman. “My watch is 1 hour         diers). This is the only other       part of the recipe is ESSENTIAL    100s & 1000s.
    slow !!!!!” replied the Australian.             acceptable way to cut your           (similar to fresh white bread
                                                    bread. Perfect for kids!             vegemite sandwiches, really).

June 2005                                                                                           • The Southern Yarn 7

the latest on our mates
                                                     southern humour

Queens Birthday Honours 2005
Congratulations to Tony Gates, elder brother
of DUCW member Jenny Gates, for being
awarded the Emergency Services Medal
(ESM) for his contribution to NSW Emer-
gency Services. Bestowed the award during
the announcement of the prestigious                                                                                                                              DO
Queens Birthday Honours 2005, Tony was
the Assistant Commissioner of Bushfire Ser-
vices in NSW for many years, contributing
his time and expertise to assist not only his
own country in fire prevention and emer-                                                                                                                         Win
gency services, but travelling to other coun-
tries to help them as well.
                                                     Comments made in                                                                                            Man

Another CanAussie                                    the year 1957
The Hydesmith family would like to congrat-
ulate Liz on becoming a Canadian citizen             “I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s
Thursday the 23rd of June at the new cere-                  going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $20.”       Board of Directors
monial digs at Union Station. Brian became           “Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be           President:
an Aussie citizen right around Liz’s birthday                                                                                Lynley Wesselingh
                                                         long before $2,000 will only buy a used one.”
when they lived in Sydney, and this month’s                                                                                  Vice President:
                                                     “If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit. A quarter     Terry Roberts
ceremony misses Brian’s birthday by just a
                                                           a pack is ridiculous.”                                            Secretary:
few days.
                                                                                                                             Judy Powell
                                                     “Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime
Are you Intrepid?                                        just to mail a letter?”
                                                                                                                             Jenny Gates
You are invited to attend a dinner with the          “If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to           Treasurer:
Intrepid Society on June 21 at the Masonic                 hire outside help at the store.”                                  Peter Debenham
Temple near Confusion Corner. The dinner                                                                                     Social Coordinator:
                                                     “When I first started driving, who would have thought petrol would
will welcome several CIA agents (including                                                                                   Peter Munn
                                                        someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off
Gary Spence from Vancouver, Thomas Troy –                                                                                    Membership:
                                                        leaving the car in the garage.”
the main speaker who is the official CIA his-                                                                                Lucia Barron
torian, and Cordell Hart from the US).               Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as
Expect to hear some unique content at the                the girls.”
                                                                                                                             The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
dinner, where you will be privy to informa-          “I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since          get it write.
tion not generally made available. Drinks are             they let Clark Gable get by with saying ‘damn’ in ‘Gone With       Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
at 6:30 pm and dinner starts at 7:00 pm.                  The Wind,’ it seems every new movie has either “hell” or 
Tickets are just $20 (no tax, no tip). For more           “damn” in it.                                            
information or to reserve your tickets, con-                                                                                 Layout and design:
                                                     “I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to
tact: Syd Davy (DUCW member – 254-0183),                                                                                     hydesmith communications
                                                          put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even
Elaine Bailey (888-5569) or Peter St. John                                                                         
                                                          have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down
(284-1089). (Note: Neville Mathews of the
                                                          in Texas.”
Secret Service in NZ is not able to be at the                                                                                The electronic version of this
dinner as previously advised, but will be vis-       “Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract
                                                                                                                             newsletter typically contains a
iting Winnipeg at a later date. Stay tuned for           for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if
                                                                                                                             few extra pages of content (in
more details.)                                           someday they’ll be making more than the president.”
                                                                                                                             colour!), and can be downloaded
                                                     “It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire        in PDF format from the website.
                                                          someone to watch their kids so they can both work.”
                                                     “Marriage doesn’t mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars
                                                                                                                             A big thank you to all of our
                                                                                                                             contributors within the club,
- players in Greek mythology                             seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.”                  from overseas and information                                                                                            services.
                                                     “I’m just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a
- birthday calculator web page (just for fun)             whole lot of foreign business.”                                                                                                            THE DOWN UNDER
                                                     “Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Govern-            CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
- for sports fanatics
                                                         ment takes half our income in taxes.”                               Station Main, PO Box 1655,
- for your funny bone                                “The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seri-     Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6       ously doubt they will ever catch on.”                               1-204-832-4405 email:                                                                 
                                                     “If they think I’ll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.”
- see what the spies learn about Australia and                                                                     
                                                                                              [courtesy Ron Rochester]
New Zealand, and challenge your own knowledge
8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                      June 2005
              The                                                                                                                          July 2005

Southern Yarn
           NEWSLETTER                      OF        THE     D O W N          U N D E R            CLUB   OF    WINNIPEG              INC.

downundercalendar                        2 0 0 5           Proud parents and their new daughter.

   Sunday July 17,
   Assiniboine Park, 2:00 pm
   Barbie in the Park
  Get outdoors and take advantage of the great
  surrounds of Assiniboine Park as we gather
  for another relaxing DUCW BBQ. Come along
  and enjoy a day in the sunshine, games for
  the little ones, and bring your own favourite
  activities. The DUCW will provide plates,
  cutlery, condiments and a gas barbecue. It
  will be a fabulous day. We will be located
  along Assiniboine Park Drive (exact directions
  are on page 2 of this Yarn). Look for the
  flags! See you there.

   Saturday August 20,
   57 D’Arcy Dr, 3:00 pm
   BBQ and Pool Party
  Enjoy this opportunity to cool off, eat out, and
                                                       Welcome to the world, little one!
  explore Lynley and Jason’s new digs. BYO                       ell, the time has come to introduce      none the less. And we have plenty of room for
  food, drink, towel and chair. Plates, cutlery
  and condiments will be provided. Remember
  to bring a towel if you want to take a dip.
                                                       W         Amélie Hetherington to you.
                                                                 Amélie came into the world on June
                                                       22, 2005 at 6.40 am – who said a Hethering-
                                                                                                          anyone who wants to come for a visit!
                                                                                                              Matt’s dad is doing so well. He is having
                                                                                                          regular scans and blood work and so far so
  Phone Lynley (275-7631) for directions and           ton/Oke is never on time! Our beautiful baby       good. Both Matt’s parents have started work-
  to RSVP.                                             girl arrived weighing in at 7lb 7oz (3.39 kg       ing again, but are managing to take advan-
                                                       for the ‘metricised’ among you) and measur-        tage of many offers of weekends away at
  SEPTEMBER                                            ing exactly 50cm. We think hair and eye            friend’s beach houses so they have had lots
  Stay tuned for a chance to catch up with our         colour may get a share of both Mum and             of quality time together. My parents have
  rural Manitoba pals from Swan River. All             Dad’s genes. We’ll see!                            decided to stay a little longer in Vanuatu with
  details in the August Yarn. If you are                    Both Alicia and bub are doing well after a    their contract being extended until the mid-
  interested in joining us, please contact Peter       6-hour labour that started at 12:30 am – 3         dle of next year – so Matt may get his surf trip
  Munn at 237-1805.                                    hours at home, then 3 hours in the hospital.       to Vanuatu after all.
                                                       It took Alicia from 12.30 am to 3.30 am to             Anyway, I hope this e-mail finds every-
                                                       convince me to get out of bed! The roadside        one happy and healthy and for those of you in
Stop the Press                                         construction workers on the road to the hos-       Canada – enjoy your summer!
The African Children’s Choir                           pital were more than happy to stop their               Love Matt, Lis and the amazingly gor-
Grant Memorial Baptist Church                          roadworks and re-open the road for us to           geous Amélie.
Friday July 22                                         whiz on through at 3.30 am!                               By the way, we have finally settled into          On behalf of the DUCW, glad to hear the
see our online Yarn edition for details                our new place in Sydney. We have another           news from Matt and Lis, who were active mem-
                                                       great house, although not quite as big as the      bers of our club until they returned to Aus-
                                                       one we had in Winnipeg and unfortunately           tralia last year. And welcome to the world,
         the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                       not as much storage space, but a great house       amazingly gorgeous Amélie!
                   Station Main, PO Box 1655
         Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                   telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                       Advertise in The Southern Yarn
                                                           Contact Jenny (831-6527, for all the rates. Send your
                                                           submission by email to or by fax (957-5754) or mail to PO
                                                           Box 1655, Stn Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6.
editorially                                      socialite                                          What’s ahead ...
    yours      Jenny Gates
                                                 all things social in the club
                                                                                                        Sunday July 17,
                                                                                                        Barbie in the Park
                                                   What happened ...                                We have arranged a picnic in Assiniboine
                                                     Saturday June 25, Golf                         Park for Sunday July 17, starting at 2:00 pm.
       ummertime is                                  Tournament                                     Come along and enjoy a day in the sunshine,

S      when we should
       all be outside
enjoying the sun and the fun. Hence an
                                                 Our organizer, Lynley, picked a perfect day
                                                 for the Down Under Club golf tournament,
                                                 held at Shooters on north Main St. We had a
                                                                                                    games for the little ones, and bring your own
                                                                                                    favorite activities. There will be a gas barbe-
                                                                                                    cue provided, and we look forward to a great,
abbreviated version of the Yarn as Brian         mix of people playing either 18 holes for the      fun-filled day. We will be located along
and I try to get out of our respective offices   more intrepid souls, or 9 holes for those          Assiniboine Park Drive, which is the main
and see the world beyond our computer            wanting a more relaxed time. Everyone              road along the north edge of the Park. Head-
screens.                                         reported having a great time, and that “they       ing west, you pass the Leo Mol section, then
    This issue has lots of info on upcoming      could have done better!” The course was in         another 0.8km gets you to the volleyball
events, with BBQs as common themes. We           good condition, with the greens a little           court area, where we will be located. Coming
have also included some news from down           bumpy due to aeration. At the finish of the        from the west exit of Assiniboine Park Drive
under and a few other odds and ends.             round, a delicious lunch was waiting for us,       from Roblin Blvd, it is 0.5km in. We look for-
    If you have any ideas for future events,     and at the awards ceremony, the special            ward to seeing you there.
feel free to contact Peter Munn                  prizes for closest to the pin went to Jason and
( or 237-              Grant, with the award for the lowest score             Saturday August 20,
1805). And if you have any great adven-          going to a guest, Doug Palahitski. Thanks to           57 D’Arcy Dr, 3:00 pm
tures or fun photos you want to share with       Lynley for a well-organized tournament.                BBQ and Pool Party
members, be sure to send to me                                                                      Enjoy this opportunity to cool off, eat out, and
( or PO Box                  Sunday June 26, Paws in Motion                 explore Lynley and Jason’s new digs. BYO
1655 Stn Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6) for          Ralph, Cliff, Woody, Sydney and Annie              food, drink, towel and chair. Plates, cutlery
inclusion in future issues of the newsletter.    (woof!) and Milo (meow!) (with canine friend       and tomato sauce will be provided. Phone
    Have fun out there – and don’t forget        Mitzi on her PIM debut) took their human           Lynley (275-7631) for directions and to RSVP.
your citronella for                              ‘pets’ for a 3-km walk at this excellent fund-
those mozzies.                                   raising event in Assiniboine Park. After a             September
                                                 morning downpour that cleared the streets          We are hoping to arrange a get together with
                                                 of debris and created some muddy spots (for        some of our northern Manitoba-based mem-
 president’s                                     those who like that kind of thing), hundreds       bers, at a halfway location, perhaps Clear
     report Lynley Wesselingh
                                                 of dogs, cats, ferrets and rabbits of all shapes
                                                 and sizes (and attire!) ran, scurried or
                                                                                                    Lake, in September. This will give us all a
                                                                                                    chance to meet with those who cannot easily
                                                 walked – or were towed or even carried (does       get to our Winnipeg-based functions. The
                                                 that constitute “paws in motion”?) – around        plan is to leave Winnipeg early, meet halfway
      or those of you who couldn’t make the      the park. Elaine, Kristin, Terry, Kerry, Leon,     for a social day/picnic, then return later in

F     golf, it was a great day out. It was       Jenny, Susanna and Harriet went home for a         the day. If you are interested in participating

      bright, sunny day with a cool breeze       treat and a rest at the end of the event.          in this event, please call Peter at 237-1805.
blowing – a beautiful day for a walk around
a golf course. We had some new faces out,
along with some of the regulars who
haven’t missed one of the five-golf days we
                                                                                                             ROOFING MAN
have successfully run.
                                                                         Remember to RSVP to                   FOR HIRE
    By the time you receive this newsletter,
                                                                        Peter Munn 237-1805 or          Need quality roofing work done? 30 years
                                                                   experience. Eaves, soffits, fascia – call Paul.

                                                                                                       Paul Bilodeau • 261-6478 or 782-5225
the DUCW board will have met to discuss
any business that has come up since our
last meeting. As always, if you have any-
thing you would like us to discuss, please

                                                       Cool down with a chilled fruit pie!
contact one of our board members at any
time and we will be happy to discuss it at
our next meeting. We are still looking for
suggestions for the Christmas Party this
year, so if you have any ideas on this or
other events and activities, just let us
    Jason and I are Excited to welcome you
to our new home for a BBQ and pool party
                                                  Molly’s Meat Pies
on Saturday August 20. All the details are
on the front page.                                                               390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
    We look forward to seeing you at the                                           ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
picnic in the park.
                                                                         hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                  July 2005
from our Aussie contributors
                                                       from our Kiwi contributors
                                                                                                            Flag debate flies high
                                                                                                            [July 3, 2005, NZ Herald] Two of the coun-
                                                                                                            try’s largest corporations have pinned their
Last WWI                                               Norm’s one happy hooker                              colours to the mast in controversial fashion
digger dies                                            [June 20, 2005, NZ Herald] Norm Hewitt has           by backing calls for a referendum on chang-
[June 24, 2005,                                        cauliflowers ears, a shaved head, and played         ing the NZ flag. Telecom and NZ Post have
SMH] The last                                          23 games for the All Blacks rugby team, but          thrown their support behind the campaign,
Australian Digger                                      has just pulled off the unlikeliest of victories     agreeing to post copies of the referendum
to see action in                                       – first prize in a televised dance contest.          petition form to 1.4 million households. The
France in WWI                                          Sporting a sequined shirt, Hewitt and his            campaign by lobby group needs
has died in Perth                                      professional dance partner shimmied their            270,000 signatures by October to force a ref-
aged 107. Peter                                        way into the judges’ and viewers’ hearts in          erendum on the question “Should the design
Casserly transported troops and ammuni-                the local version of Danc-                           of the New Zealand flag be changed?” Only
tion at Ypres, Armentieres and Amiens, and             ing With the Stars. It was                           100,000 people have signed so far.
could never shake the memory of carting                estimated that one-quar-                             Ngarimu Daniels would like to keep her hair as is.
young soldiers off to certain death. Mr                ter of NZ’s population
Casserly had lost much of his hearing and              watched as Hewitt, 36,                               Ironing out the kinks
almost all of his sight but his sense of               performed the pasa doble                             [July 3, 2005, NZ Herald]
humour remained intact. His secret to a long           that incorporated a ver-                             Maori Television is facing
life? “Keep on breathing, I suppose.” Mr               sion of the haka seen                                legal action from broadcast-
Casserly is survived by his son, Peter, seven          before All Blacks match-                             er Ngarimu Daniels, who
grandchildren, 14 great-grandchildren and              es. Photo: Neil Macken-                              claims she was told to
four great-great-grandchildren.                        zie                                                  straighten the kinks in her hair and not wear
                                                                                                            clothing the same colours as the Maori Party
How much??                                             Zara’s $64,000 day                                   logo.
[June 27, 2005, SMH] Martinique, a clifftop            [June 24, 2005, NZ herald] A NZ baker paid
residence on Mosman’s millionaire mile,                $NZ70,000 ($64,000) to a spinal charity to           Lightning strikes Air NZ plane
and its neighbouring house have been sold              employ the Queen’s grand-daughter, Zara              [June 30, 2005, NZ Herald] An Air New
in one line for about $18 million. The com-            Phillips, for one day and says it’s well worth       Zealand plane carrying 52 passengers was
bined Burran Avenue holding of 2,140                   the money: “I thought it was for a good cause        hit by lightning last night as it flew from
square metres overlooks Middle Harbour                 ... when you see those people up on stage you        Christchurch to Invercargill. The aircraft had
and represents a record price for Mosman.              realise (spinal injuries) could happen to any-       been delayed just over 30 minutes waiting
                                                       one.” Gerald Shand won the bid at a charity          for a storm to pass, but was then hit by anoth-
                                                       auction for the CatWalk Trust in Auckland.           er storm as it approached Invercargill.

                                                                          Join us Sundays for Aussie Pub Night
                                                                                 Australian sports on the telly,
And then there were eight ... the last moments of
the limestone outcrop (left) that collapsed into the
                                                                      Triple J over the speakers, and specials on
ocean yesterday, leaving only remnants above the                                   appeys and cold mugs of beer.
water (right). Photo: Parks Victoria.

Heritage washing away
[July 4, 2005, SMH] One of Australia’s most
recognisable landmarks has been permanent-
ly altered after one of the largest of the stacks
in the Twelve Apostles rock formation off the
Great Ocean Road in Victoria collapsed. Three
witnesses saw the 45-m structure disinte-
grate, with one taking photographs of the for-                                                              Located at D-121 Osborne
mation just seconds before the relentless
pounding of waves took its toll.

                                                                                                            Decks, Sunrooms and

    Kiwi Installations                                               Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                         Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                      Free in-home/cottage estimates.

July 2005                                                                                        • The Southern Yarn 3

the latest on our mates
                                                  southern humour

Farewell, friend ...
Our sincere condolences to Norm, Karen and                 For Those Who Enjoy Language
Maria Clark and families on the loss of their              (or Severe Distortions Thereof):
wife and mother, Irene, on June 25. Members        Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
of the DUCW, Norm and Irene came to Win-           A backward poet writes inverse.
nipeg from England in 1968. Irene volun-
teered for CancerCare Manitoba and at Deer
                                                   A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
                                                   Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
Lodge, and was very active in starting the
Red Hat Society. May you be carried on gen-
                                                   Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
                                                   Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
tle wings, Irene.
                                                   A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.                                                         CL
                                                   A hangover is the wrath of grapes.                                                                         Win
                                                   Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
ACT 2005                                                                                                                                                      Man
                                                   Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
The new Australian Passports Act 2005
(              Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
ports_bkg.html) comes into force on July 1,        Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
2005. The Act will make changes designed to        When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
complement national security, law enforce-         A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
ment and border protection measures. As of         What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)               Board of Directors
the July 1, 2005 new forms will be used for all    In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.          President:
Australian passport applications. In most          A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.                      Lynley Wesselingh
cases, old forms will not be accepted after        If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.                   Vice President:
                                                                                                                          Terry Roberts
July 31, 2005. The exception is passport           With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
renewal forms printed or mailed out                                                                                       Secretary:
                                                   When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.                     Judy Powell
before July 1, 2005. These will be accepted        The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.        Media/Communications:
until June 30, 2006 (this expiry date              You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.                   Jenny Gates
should be indicated on the renewal form).
                                                   Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.                   Treasurer:
For more information, please visit                                                                                        Peter Debenham
                                                   He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key. or                                                                                   Social Coordinator:
                                                   Every calendar’s days are numbered.
                                                                                                                          Peter Munn
                                                   A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
ARE YOU GAME?                                                                                                             Membership:
The Winnipeg Scrabble Club meets on Mon-           A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.                           Lucia Barron
day afternoons and/or Thursday evenings. If        A plateau is a high form of flattery.
anyone’s interested they can call Caroline or      Once you’ve seen one huge shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
                                                                                                                          The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
Bill Scowcroft on 489 7947 and they can fill       Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.                   get it write.
you in on the details.                             Acupuncture is a jab well done.                                        Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
                                                                                            [courtesy of Ron Rochester]

bottomfivesites – test your knowledge of senses
                                                                                                                          Layout and design:
                                                                                                                          hydesmith communications
                                                                                                                 – test your Canada knowledge – how geeky are you?                                                                  The electronic version of this – what’s on at the Manitoba Museum                                                               newsletter typically contains a – see some fabulous photos                                                                         few extra pages of content (in
                                                                                                                          colour!), and can be downloaded
                                                                                                                          in PDF format from the website.
                                                                                                                          A big thank you to all of our
                                                                                                                          contributors within the club,
                                                                                                                          from overseas and information

                                                                                                                          THE DOWN UNDER
                                                                                                                          CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
                                                                                                                          Station Main, PO Box 1655,
                                                                                                                          Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                                                                                          1-204-832-4405 email:

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                                     July 2005
from our southern sport fans
                                                     Weet-Bix              kidsClub
                                                                        Aussie and Kiwi kids are Weet-Bix kids!

Australian battler Stephen Huss (right) and Wesley
Moodie celebrate their amazing Wimbledon victo-
ry. Photo: AFP

Unlikely Wimbledon hero couldn’t
crack top 800
[July 4, 2005, SMH] Stephen Huss, Aus-
tralia’s newest and most unlikelyWimbledon
hero, abandoned his own singles career sev-                      ey, kids! Wanna meet some other kids from Uganda? Well, here’s your
eral years ago when he could not sneak
inside the top 800. However, the 29-year-old
from Melbourne and his South African part-
                                                         H       chance. The African Children’s Choir consists of 24 children aged nine to
                                                                 12 and they are performing at various places in Manitoba from July 22 to
                                                         August 7. Their goal is to raise awareness and support for the destitute and
nerWesley Moodie have just claimed top spot              orphaned children of Africa.
in the doubles final at Wimbledon against                     Each of the kids has either lost a parent to AIDS or lived in extreme poverty.
Americans Mike and Bob Bryan. However,                   The Choir will be singing their hearts out at churches, halls and talk shows across
Huss has been denied a place on the David                the US and Canada, with the idea that once they get a chance to broaden their hori-
Cup team to play Argentina next week.                    zons through travel and education, they’ll be in a better position to help their own
                                                         country. The first of nine Manitoba concerts is July 22 at the Grant Memorial Bap-
Greens mean Stop! for Zimbabwe                           tist Church. For full information on concert locations and times, go to
cricket tour                                             www. or call toll-free 1-877-532-8651.
[July 3, 2005, NZ Herald] The Green Party
has drafted a bill to make it illegal for the
New Zealand Cricket team to tour Zimbabwe.
Green Party co-leader Rod Donald said he             Aussie cleaning products
was seeking cross-party support for the law          ENJO Products are now available here in
that would make it an offence for any New            Canada. ENJO is a famous Australian clean-
Zealand national sporting organisation to            ing fibre that cleans using only cold water.
send a team on tour to Zimbabwe. The tour is         Australians have been using ENJO for 10
under fire because of human rights abuses            years and now it is in Canada. Anyone inter-
in President Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe,               ested in being a consultant and showing
including the bulldozing of slums that has           Canadians the benefits of cleaning without
left thousands homeless. Australia and New           chemicals should contact Trish Ronan
Zealand’s governments have already joined            (
forces to oppose the tour.

How much?
[June 25, 2005, SMH] Petrol prices in Oz are
expected to reach $1.20 a litre within a
month and high petrol prices are expected to
stay until well into next year.

5 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                   Online supplement
             The                                                                                                                         August 2005

Southern Yarn
          NEWSLETTER                      OF        THE    D O W N         U N D E R          CLUB       OF     WINNIPEG                 INC.

downundercalendar                       2 0 0 5

  Saturday August 20,
  57 D’Arcy Dr, 3:00 pm
  BBQ and Pool Party
 Enjoy this opportunity to cool off, eat out, and
 explore Lynley and Jason’s new digs. BYO
 food, drink, towel and chair. Plates, cutlery        You can do it
 and condiments will be provided. Remember            Winnipeg Harvest is the lifeline for many
 to bring a towel if you want to take a dip.          Winnipeg families. Harvest a few cans from
 Phone Lynley (275-7631) for directions and           your pantry and help someone today.
 to RSVP.

  Saturday September 24,
                                                      Reaping the Benefits of the Harvest
  Car Rally, 3:30 pm                                             hen the sun is shining, the beach is        So given that Harvest are looking for
 On Saturday September 24, we will be
 holding a CAR RALLY, starting at Peter and
 Margaret’s home at 86 Clonard Ave at 3.30
                                                      W          beckoning, the festivals are hap-
                                                                 pening and the barbies are cuing,
                                                      it’s easy to forget about what else is going on
                                                                                                         donations, it seemed like the perfect oppor-
                                                                                                         tunity to pass on that great idea and see if
                                                                                                         anyone else can help out with an item from
 pm. Following the car rally there will be a          in our community.                                  the Top 10 list of what types of food it urgent-
 barbeque. The car rally will be an                        I was reminded of that recently when I        ly needs, listed below.
 observational rally, i.e., no need to even think     read an article about the Top 10 list of urgent-
 about exceeding speed limits. So come along          ly needed items for those who rely on the          Harvest’s Top 10 Wanted List:
 for the fun of the rally – and for a chance to       food bank at Winnipeg Harvest. Summer is a         1. Canned fish (water packed tuna, salmon) and
 savour Peter and Margaret’s famous “Bruce            tough time for Harvest, with people away and          poultry (chicken, turkey)
 Burgers”.                                            otherwise distracted by summer fun. I have         2. Baby formula (iron enriched) and baby food –
                                                      to admit I am one of those people, but read-          single item meats, vegetables, fruits, desserts;
 OCTOBER                                              ing that article in the Free Press reminded           infant cereal – rice, oatmeal, barley (no dinners)
  Saturday October 22,                                me of something someone told me that they          3. Canned vegetables and fruits (packed in
  Formal Dinner                                       do to make the giving even simpler. Every             own juice)
 Once again, the always popular Formal Dinner         time they go grocery shopping, they include        4. Canned stew, chili, brown beans
 is expected to draw a lot of interest from the       one of the items on the list below in their        5. Peanut butter – light
 Club. Venue and more details will be                 basket and drop into the food bins (if provid-     6. Dry pasta
 announced in the September Yarn.                     ed on site) or put aside until they have a box     7. Rice – plain, brown, converted, parboiled
                                                      and drop off at the Winnipeg Harvest loca-         8. Spaghetti sauce
                                                      tion – 1085 Winnipeg Avenue, Winnipeg,             9. Cereal – plain, fiber, non sugar coated
Welcome New Members                                   Manitoba, R3E 0S2. Great idea that I quickly       10. Canned soup – vegetable, tomato, lentil, pea
  Catherine McClintock and Bob Kolody                 jumped on – that is, until the summer start-
                                                      ed up.                                                  When I spoke with the executive director
                                                                                                         at Harvest, Carol Ellerbeck, this week, she
                                                                                                         was delighted that the Yarn was going to
                                                                                                         include the entire list and said she would
                                                                                                         also be very happy to organise a tour of their
                                                                                                         location if a group of us was interested.
        the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                                                                              Anyone up for a tour? Contact our social
                  Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                                                                         coordinator, Peter Munn (social@downun-
        Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                                                                and 237-1805) and maybe we
                  telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                                                                         can take them a little
                                                                                                         gift at the same time.
editorially                                             hanks to all of you who braved the            with moving, painting and general renovat-

    yours      Jenny Gates
                                                T       weather to attend the picnic in the
                                                        park in July. I was planning on attend-
                                                ing but with the large storm the night
                                                                                                      ing. It seems like there are always work-
                                                                                                      men of some description here - Jason has
                                                                                                      turned into the real handyman! In any case,
                                                before, was called out to help dispose of a           we will be ready for the pool party on Satur-
                                                tree that had blown down in Jason’s parents           day August 20. All the details are on pages
          h, it’s those                         front yard.                                           1 and 3 of this Yarn, but particularly don’t

A         lazy, hazy,
          crazy days
of summer. We
                                                     We had a board meeting on July 6th,
                                                where we planned upcoming events. Peter
                                                Debenham and Terry Robert sent their
                                                                                                      forget your chair, towel, something good for
                                                                                                                the BBQ and of course your
                                                                                                                  favourite beverage. Fingers
asked for it, we                                apologies. We                                                      crossed it will be a gorgeous
waited for it, and                              are still look-
                                                                    president’s                                     day - with no storm the night
we earned it, but
still, it’s a bit hot
                                                ing for a new
                                                venue to hold          report  Lynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                                         See you all soon.
for anyone doing                                the Christmas
renovations and working on the top floor        party, so if you
of their house without any insulation in        have a good location in mind, please
34ºC temps. Oh well, ’tis the season and        give me a call (275-7631). Our next
it’s gotta get done, and there’s nothing        board meeting is on August 17, so
quite like the satisfaction of “I did that!”    if you have anything you would like
(even though someone else is doing all          us to discuss, just let me know.
the work ...)                                        It has been a very busy month
     By all accounts, Jason and Lynley have
survived the move into their new abode –
looking forward to checking it out at the
barbie and pool party later this month.
And my hat goes off to those who made it
out to the barbie in the park. To be hon-
est, I thought that would be a washout,
but I guess you need more than a bit of
water to keep Aussies and Kiwis from
having a barbie!
     By the way, if anyone has any fun pho-
tos from their summer adventures or
great summer stories they want to share,
just send them along for inclusion in the
next Yarn. Always happy to include sub-
mitted items, given time and appropriate-
     Lots of fun stuff this issue, what with
articles from down under and a brief
sports round-up. Also, some timely tips
for using cola – other than drinking it, of
course. And a few giggles to get you
     After the pool party at D’Arcy Drive on    Aussies enjoying the outdoors: Lac du Bonnet mates Carol and Stuart Pavitt joined Liz and Brian
the 20th, that car rally in September           Hydesmith in Nopiming Park for a day of canoeing, BBQ and visiting with kids (from left) Tannis, Joshua,
sounds like it will be a fabulous event. If     Eliza and Jessica. Now is the time to get out and enjoy the beauty of summer in beautiful Manitoba.

                                                                 Hot summer days!
you have any ideas for club events, be
sure to pass them along to Peter Munn

                                                         Cool dessert pies at night!
(237-1805 or ).
     Stay cool, cobbers. I’m off to get some
slabs off the barbie and crack open anoth-
er tinny!

                                                 Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                              390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                                ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                      hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                               August 2005
all things social in the club

What happened ...                                Stuff ya gob at the
    Sunday July 17,                              ‘bong!
    Barbie in the Park
Just a few hardy souls turned out for the July   Hey kids, can you name the
picnic in Assiniboine Park, following the tor-   young Aussie in this photo? She’s
rential rain and windstorms that hit Win-        tucking into a delicious Tim Tam
nipeg the night before. So it was a very quiet   Sundae dessert at the Billabong
event, but we did meet up with Matt and          Bar and Bistro one warm August
Monica Black, who were in town from Bows-        evening. Here’s a hint: she
man, and George Butz who recounted some          shared it (evenly) with her sister.
tales of his time in Australia.
                                                 Do you have any photos of young
What’s ahead ...                                 club members enjoying summer
    Saturday September 24,                       activities? Send them to us at the
    Car Rally                                    Yarn and we’ll share them with
On Saturday September 24, we will be hold-       your mates.
ing a CAR RALLY, starting at Peter and Mar-
garet’s home at 86 Clonard Ave at 3.30 pm.
Following the car rally there will be a bar-
beque. The car rally will be an observational
rally, i.e., no need to even think about
exceeding speed limits. So come along for
the fun of the rally – and for a chance to
savour Peter and Margaret’s famous “Bruce
Burgers”.                                                                              Mobile Law Office
    Saturday October 22,                                                                 Home Visits, Office Visits
    Formal Dinner                                                                       Service at YOUR PLACE of convenience
Mmm, delicious! This is an event not to be
                                                                                             Wm. B. K. Pooley B.A., L.L.B.
missed. All details including the venue, will                                               837 DOWNING STREET WINNIPEG
be announced in the next issue of the Yarn.

                                                                                              LAWYER, NOTARY PUBLIC

    Annual General Meeting                                                                       Day, Evening and Weekend
Date and location to be announced.                                                                Appointments Available

    Aussie Stamps for Sale!
    Get your Aussie stamps, including
    ones that depict Antarctica, Cocos
    Keeling and some weirder stuff, as                                                    Remember to RSVP to
    well as envelopes that are pre-                                                      Peter Munn 237-1805 or
    Will sell for less
    than face value.
    Contact Bill
    Pooley at

         Advertise right here in
          The Southern Yarn
   Contact Jenny (,
   831-6527) for all the rates. Send your sub-
   mission to or
   by fax (957-5754) or mail to PO Box 1655,
   Stn Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6.

August 2005                                                                    • The Southern Yarn 3
                                                                                                     Tax Office can prove Hachem won his money
from our Aussie contributors
                                                                                                     as a professional gambler as opposed to a
                                                                                                     hobby gambler – that he used skill and sys-
                                                                                                     tematic methods to win – then he will have
                                                                                                     to pay a 47 per cent tax rate on his winnings.
                                                                                                     Bah! Humbug!

                                                                                                     Permanent Aboriginal embassy
                                                   Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch. Photo: AP             [August 1, 2005, SMH] The Aboriginal tent
                                                                                                     embassy on the lawns of Old Parliament
                                                   Anyone want the job?                              House in Canberra that has been long
                                                   [July 30, 2005, SMH] Lachlan Murdoch, heir        described as an eyesore could be bulldozed
Bigger and stronger … the Pontiac version of the   apparent to the world’s most powerful media       and replaced with a permanent structure
Monaro will survive in America.                    company, has quit his executive role at News      recognising the history of indigenous people
                                                   Corporation to come back to Australia. His        on the site: “... this is for the Aboriginal com-
Farewell to a Champion                             decision took the business world and News         munity to come back to us with their ideas.”
[July 26, 2005, SMH] The classic car of the        executives by surprise and threw News             The embassy was established on Australia
suburban rev-head has reached the end of           Corp’s succession plans into disarray. And it     Day in 1972 as a focus of Aboriginal anger
the road. But only in Australia. The modern        left Rupert Murdoch “particularly saddened        and protest over land rights and other press-
Monaro, which began life as a drawing on a         by my son’s decision”. While Lachlan said he      ing issues. However, it has been hijacked
loungeroom wall and was never intended to          would remain on the News board and would          over the years by Aboriginals and non-Abo-
go into production, will be phased out at the      act as a consultant to the company, he had        riginals and seems to have lost its original
end of the year. However, it will live on in the   decided to relinquish all executive roles in      focus.
US, where sales have taken off after the           the group he was destined to control.
Holden coupe was given a bigger engine and                                                           Yes, no, yes?
a more aggressive look. The official line                                                            [August 2, 2005, SMH] Until last week,
from Holden is that the Monaro, “like all                                                            Harry Seidler thought he was Australian. The
champions”, deserves to bow out on its own                                                           esteemed architect has an Australian pass-
terms.                                                                                               port, is a Companion of the Order of Aus-
                                                                                                     tralia, and his buildings have changed the
It might just be too late                                                                            face of Australian cities. But according to
[July 26, 2005, SMH] It could be too late to                                                         Immigration officials, Seidler, 82, lost his
protect some of Australia’s most unique                                                              Aussie citizenship when in 1985, Austria
ecosystems, such as the Great Barrier Reef                                                           reinstated his citizenship in that country
and the Daintree Rainforest, from the              Poker champ Joe Hachem arrives home in style.     after it was lost during the war. Unfortunate-
destructive effects of climate change, accord-     Photo: Paul Harris                                ly no one told him until this week. Nice! [PS
ing to a report released by the Federal Gov-                                                         – Within days of this article appearing in the
ernment today. Australian ecosystems most          Taxman trumps talker                              Herald, Mr Seidler’s citizenship was
vulnerable to greenhouse gas-induced cli-          [August 1, 2005, SMH] Australian poker            restored. Nicer!]
mate change include alpine regions, reefs,         champion Joe Hachem may have blown half
tropical rainforests and coastal wetlands.         of his $10 million poker prize on a slip of the
Apparently, there was little doubt Australia       tongue when he announced, “I never
faced some degree of climate change over           realised you could make a career out of
the next 30 to 50 years, irrespective of inter-    poker until a couple of years ago.” The Mel-
national or Australian efforts to reduce           bourne man blitzed more than 5,000 players
greenhouse gases.                                  to take out the World Series of Poker Cham-
                                                   pionships in Las Vegas last month. But if the

                                                                                                      Inside the Cross City Tunnel. Photo: Lee Besford.

                                  Sticky subject … the Australian Museum’s Martyn Robinson and       A light at the end tunnel
                                  friend. Photo: Steven Siewert                                      [August 7, 2005, The Sun-Herald] When next
                                                                                                     you head down under, a new tunnel awaits
                                  Hey, I know you!                                                   you on Sydney’s streets – the 2.1 km $680
                                  [August 2, 2005, SMH] It’s not often you open the home             million Cross City Tunnel that will link Dar-
                                  page of an international paper and see one of your friends         ling Harbour with Rushcutters Bay. But don’t
                                  looking back at you. Martyn Robinson, friend of this Yarn’s        expect a free ride for the privilege of being
                                  editor at the Australian Museum in Sydney, is with a very          able to cross under the CBD in just two min-
                                  friendly stick insect who will be his companion for the            utes, at speeds of 80 kmh, avoiding the con-
                                  Museum’s first Twilight Science night. Martyn will join 25         gested city streets and 18 sets of traffic
                                  scientists in presenting lectures and other events that will       lights above it. The fully electronic toll road
                                  highlight the science role of the museum. On ya, Martyn!           attracts one-way fees of $3.53 for cars with
                                                                                                     an e-tag and $5.13 for cars without an e-tag.

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                             August 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                     was a harmless bit of fun, and the $173 has
                                                     been donated to the Auckland SPCA. One
                                                                                                              right leg?” “My heart stopped for a moment
                                                                                                              and then I just smiled to myself,” surgeon
                                                     potential buyer wanted to know if the clip               Peter Vann said. Lange’s leg was removed
                                                     ever moved or twitched ... or had it always              below the knee because of a gangrenous foot
                                                     been stationery. White was “pretty chuffed”              caused by his diabetes.
                                                     with the sale: “I’m thinking of selling a bro-
                                                     ken rubber band next.” For a bit of a laugh,             And the problem is ...
                                                     check       out      the        posting         at       [August 7, 2005, NZ Herald] State-owned
                                                     w w w. t r a d e me . c o . n z / B u s i n e s s -      Maori Television spent $161,000 flying man-
                                                     industry/Office/Stationery-writing/auction-              agers and staff around the world to confer-
                                                     31231669.htm                                             ences and media events in the past year. This
Te Pao a Tahu, a male, was one of four kiwi                                                                   included a travel, accommodation and meals
chicks released in the predator-free reserve on Mt                                                            bill of $21,562 by a former boss and a chief
Maungatautari. Picture: Amos Chapple                                                                          executive at the ill-fated Aotearoa Television
                                                                                                              Network. Critics attacked the spending as
Kiwis go home                                                                                                 extravagant: “... the purpose of the Maori
[July 25, 2005, NZ Herald] Four young kiwi                                                                    Television service is to foster the Maori lan-
were released onto Maungatautari at the                                                                       guage, which is ... found in New Zealand. The
weekend, signalling the return of the native                    New Zealand Coat of Arms                      last thing you’d expect them to be spending
bird to the Waikato mountain for the first                                                                    taxpayers’ money on is extravagant overseas
time in an estimated 100 years. The North            Time to vote                                             travels, and especially attending the lavish
Island brown kiwi chicks were released into          [July 25, 2005, NZ Herald] New Zealanders                overseas film festivals.”
a 35ha pest-free native wildlife refuge on the       will go to the polls on September 17. PM
forested volcanic cone, created by a charita-        Helen Clark has advised the Governor-Gen-
ble trust. The two female and two male               eral that Parliament be dissolved on August
chicks come from eggs found in Tongariro             11. Labour will be seeking a third term in
State Forest. The birds are the latest to be         office after sweeping to power in 1999 and
released under Operation Nest Egg, which             returning with a large number of seats in
began in 1995 and has seen about 300 kiwi            2002. Helen Clark kicked campaigning off
hatched and returned to the wild.                    today, saying voters faced “stark choices”
                                                     between Labour and National in both policy
NZ history from the year dot                         and style. Leadership, credibility experience            Moko moment
[July 23, 2005, NZ Herald] Millions of years         and trust would be crucial, she said. Other              [August 6, 2005, NZ Herald] Tolaga Bay artist
in the preparation, five years in the making         parties welcomed the election date                       Mark Kopua starts work today in San Fran-
and now weeks away, the story of New                 announcement. Dr Brash said National’s                   cisco – giving a full body moko to his uncle.
Zealand is almost ready to beam into our liv-        campaign would focus on “the important                   Kopua, of Te Aitanga a Hauiti, will perform
ing rooms. A TVNZ history programme Fron-            issues affecting ordinary New Zealanders”.               his art on Wayne Ngata in front of live audi-
tier of Dreams – the biggest documentary                                                                      ences at the Toi Maori: Art from the Maori
series produced in this country for two                                                                       People of New Zealand exhibition. Kopua
decades – will screen in September. It tells                          David Lange, former NZ prime            said his uncle was not worried about poten-
the story of New Zealand, from the country’s                          minister. Photo:      tially thousands of people over the 10-day
birth millions of years ago to the present day,                       wiki/David_Lange                        exhibition watching him being tattooed,
through key events, major figures and expe-                                                                   despite the 20-60 hours of tattooing
riences. Along the way it covers natural his-                         Have you got the                        required for a moko. “I don’t think he’s nerv-
tory, geographical and social development.                            right leg?                              ous – I think he’s prepared for the crowd.”
                                                     [August 4, 2005, SMH] Former NZ prime                         Ta moko, meaning to strike or tap, is the
                        Bidders flip over            minister David Lange stunned the surgeon                 long-standing art form of Maori tattooing.
                        clip                         amputating his leg under a local anaesthetic             This art form has been practised for more
                     [July 21, 2005, NZ Her-         this week by asking mid-operation if the doc-            than a thousand years, and has withstood
                     ald] It was a small, red        tor was removing the correct limb. Mr Lange,             time and colonization. It was used as a form
                     paper clip with about           63, underwent the high-risk operation with-              of identification, rank, genealogy, tribal
14 hours of use. Auckland teenager Rhys              out a general aesthetic in an Auckland hos-              history, eligibility to marry, and marks of
White put it up for sale on auction website          pital on Tuesday because of his poor health.             beauty and/or ferocity. To see examples,
TradeMe during “a boring day at work” – and          Just as the limb had nearly been taken off, a            visit: and
sold it for $173. The duo’s odd transaction          drowsy Mr Lange asked: “Have you got the       

                                                                                                                 Decks, Sunrooms and

   Kiwi Installations                                              Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                              Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                           Free in-home/cottage estimates.

August 2005                                                                                        • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Sydney Morning Herald
                                                     “Why post a goldfish? I’d have thought
                                                 that was obvious,” writes David Noble, of
                                                 Hurstville. “Have you ever tried to fax one?”
C ure for drunkenness ... Want a cure for        [Aug 1]
drunkenness? Try this recipe from the 1915           This from Mark Morgan, an expat now
Goulburn Cookery Book: “Sulphate of iron, 5      living in Boston. “Last summer I put in a
grains; magnesia, 10 grains; peppermint          goldfish pond as I had once done in Sydney.
water, 11 drachms; spirits of nutmeg, 1          I was assured by some crackpot that in win-
drachm. Dose: 1 teaspoon to be taken in a        ter all one had to do was to break the ice so
wineglass of water twice a day. Highly rec-      that the fish could breathe. I started out with
ommended.” [Aug 3]                               a baseball bat, moved to a hammer and was
    “It is interesting to note,” writes Leoni    finally reduced, as the ice got thicker, to a
Hubbard, of Faulconbridge, “that the [above]     pick axe with which I would eke out a small
cure for drunkenness uses a wine glass as a      hole that got deeper and deeper, until one
measure and appears in the book just sever-      day I hit the concrete bottom of the pond and
al pages after recipes such as Milk Punch        noticed that I had half a frozen goldfish on
(which contains a gallon of rum), Claret Cup,    the end of the pick axe. All over for the gold-
Chilli Beer and the like. The Chilli Beer, by    fish, I presumed, especially after the walls of
the way, is made using ‘bird’s-eye chillies’,    the pond broke due to the expanding ice.
which the book says can be had from any          Come the spring, the ice melted and the
chemist.” [Aug 4]                                water escaped out of the cracks; the bottom
                                                 of the pond, by now a few inches deep, was
C anine critics ... “I always thought border     full of leaves and dead goldfish – except for
collies were the most intelligent dogs           the one that moved when I went to pick it up!
around,” writes Toni Daly, of Dubbo, “but may    Eight weeks in the cold and dark with no dis-
have to revise that opinion. One night last      cernible water, and alive. He or she still is.
week I had gone to bed leaving Strider, my       Goldfish are tough!” [Aug 2]
beloved border collie, asleep in the dark,
quiet lounge room. Later I was awoken by the     Plonk for petrol ... John Klimpton, of North-
TV. I went out to investigate, and there was     bridge, bought a five-litre cask of claret for
Strider sitting on the lounge, paw on the        $9.40. “At the same time we filled up with
remote, watching Big Brother Uncut.” [Aug        premium petrol at $1.30 a litre. At what
3]                                               stage will it become cheaper to fill the car
    “Our border collie, Abby, has twice been     with wine rather than petrol?” [July 20]
found perusing late-night/early-morning              ‘If you were to choose the perfect envi-
home shopping TV, reclining on the couch         ronment to make the world’s most perfect
with remote in paw. Like Big Brother,            vodka, you’d have to pick New Zealand. The
infomercials are not known for cutting-edge      water is clear and sweet, the air holds a stan-
intellectual debate.” [Aug 6]                    dard for purity and hardly anyone is French.’
                                                 So reads an ad for a New Zealand vodka, seen
Something fishy ... “How long can a goldfish     on Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles. [July
live without water?” asks Steve Robbie, of       20]
Gordon. “My outdoor goldfish bowl was                Ingrid Lane writes from Catania, Italy, in
knocked over on Monday night by my two           response to the prediction that it will soon
dogs and wasn’t discovered until Tuesday         be cheaper to fill your tank with wine rather
morning. One fish had expired, but the other     than petrol: “In Italy and France (and some
wriggled and gasped as I approached him. I       other places in Europe) it is already possible
picked him up and put him in water, and          to get wine that is cheaper than petrol, and
despite being a bit wobbly for the first five    the wine is good, too!” [July 21]
minutes returned to full health shortly after.       “Whilst serving with the armed forces in
This little guy was out of his fish tank for     Germany in 1980-1985,” writes Nick Ryan, of
between six and seven hours.” [July 25]          Brayton, “it was cheaper for us to put vodka
      “I have no idea how long goldfish can      in the car windscreen bottles than buy the
live without water,” writes James Bush, of       special mix of windscreen solution that
Doubleview in Perth, “but my grandfather in      stopped the screen wash freezing. If we’d
Yorkshire, England, kept many goldfish and       broken down it would have been there to
used to wrap fish in wet gauze, send them by     drink as well.” [July 25]
first-class post and they would arrive live
and flicking at their destination. The postal    And if you think petrol is expensive ... A
system must have been a bit more efficient       house at Pearl Beach was proudly pro-
back then.” That’s fascinating, James, but       claimed ‘a vintage fibro’, for sale at a modest
why did your grandfather send goldfish           price of just under a million dollars. Fibro
through the post? [July 29]                      sure has come a long way. [July 30]

6 The Southern Yarn •                                      August 2005
from our southern sport fans
                                                                                                                 hotel here, but we prefer to stay at Aunty Niki
                                                                                                                 and Uncle Bruce’s house.” Campbell
                                                                                                                 emerged mid-haka at Auckland airport with
                                                                                                                 his wife and children, and will head to
                                                                                                                 Wellington where Council plans to name a
                                                                                                                 road “Michael Campbell Drive”.

                                                        All Blacks prepare for Springboks. Photo: NZ Herald
Rugby Fans!!! - check                Three in three too much
it out! Check out our interactive special on            [July 28, 2005, NZ Herald] Three rugby tests
the Tri Nations rugby                                   in three weeks is too much, according to All
                                                        Blacks coach Graham Henry. He said the 3-
Parliament calls on Black Caps                          0 series drubbing of the Lions during their
to abandon Zimbabwe tour                                tour of New Zealand that ended this month                Grant Hackett after his world record setting gold
[July 26, 2005, NZ Herald] Parliament has               was good preparation for his team’s Tri-                 medal win in the men’s 800m freestyle finals.
overwhelmingly called on New Zealand                    Nation series against Australia and South                Photo: Reuters
Cricket to abandon the tour of Zimbabwe.                Africa, but it also took a toll and cost the All
The vote on a resolution was 110-10, with               Blacks serious injuries in key positions.                Hackett strikes gold – a few times
only ACT and the Maori Party voting against.            Henry said it also showed how important it               [July 28, 2005, SMH] Australian team cap-
Prime Minister Helen Clark introduced the               was for the All Blacks to be able to rotate              tain Grant Hackett smashed countryman Ian
resolution, which expresses grave concern               players and have two world-class players in              Thorpe’s world record when he successfully
at human rights abuses in Zimbabwe, calls               every position: “They didn’t play some of the            defended his 800m freestyle title at the
on New Zealand Cricket (NZC) to abandon                 test matches because they fell over physical-            world swimming championships in Montre-
the tour, and urges the International Cricket           ly and that is going to happen.”                         al tonight. Hackett clocked a time of 7:38.65
Council to exclude Zimbabwe from interna-                                                                        to eclipse Thorpe’s mark of 7:39.16 set at the
tional tours. The team left New Zealand yes-            Aunt Niki’s champion roast                               world titles in Fukuoka, Japan, in 2001.
terday and is spending time in another                  [July 28, 2005, NZ Herald] US Open champ                 Hackett followed up his win by taking out
southern African country, Namibia, before               Michael Campbell has come home for a real                the 1500m in Montreal on August 1, becom-
going to Zimbabwe where the first match                 serving of Aunty Niki’s roast lamb: “I love my           ing the first man to win the 400m, 800m and
starts on August 4.                                     family. I had the option of staying in a nice            1500m at a world championships.

   Gotta use that cola!
   Many of us love to drink it, but what else is cola good for? Here                            5. To sooth minor stomach aches, drink a few sips of flat cola.*
   are some great tips for the many uses of cola, as reproduced                               6. Clean ancient bronze coins by soaking them in lye for several
   from the Winnipeg Free Press, Sunday July 31. Thanks to                                 weeks and then into a jar half filled with cola. Wipe and polish.
   Reena Nerbas, who personally tested those flagged with an                             7. For really green grass, spray cola onto your lawn once a month.
   asterisk! (*)                                                                        To get dual benefits of cola, combine and spray one can of cola, one
                                                                                              cup ammonia and one-quarter cup dish soap (green grass and
   1. Antique your photos by soaking them in flat cola.                                        no bugs).
   Using a baking pan, pour enough cola on the photo to                                          8. Clean your kettle by adding one can of cola and letting it
   cover it. Wait about 40 seconds and carefully wipe                                             sit for eight hours. Rinse and wipe.
   the picture. Dry it with a blow dryer. Test this on an                                         9. Clean battery corrosion. Pour cola onto car battery con-
   undesirable image before trying it on a precious one.                                          nections to remove build-up.
   2. Clean a hamster cage. Empty cage and pour cola                                              10. Zap the rust from your trailer hitch ball. Fill a deflated bal-
   onto the bottom. Wait five minutes and scrape with a                                           loon with cola. Fasten the balloon over the ball. Let sit for a day.
   putty knife. Cleans like a dream.*                                                             Remove the balloon and scrub hitch ball with an SOS pad.*
   3. If you want your cola to stay cool as long as possi-                                        11. Don’t throw out flat cola, scrub the toilet with it to
   ble, get the kind in glass bottles. They are thicker                                           remove rust and grime.*
   than aluminum or plastic, so they keep the liquid cold-                                        12. Clean grout with cola. Pour a generous amount on the
   er longer.                                                                                     area, wipe and rinse.
   4. Pour cola onto blood on the driveway. It eats the                                           13. Rub cola on mosquito bites and bee stings to take away
   blood off the concrete and appears clean like water,                                           the itch.
   unlike sawdust and kitty litter. (Tip: Also takes grease                                       14. Take gum out of your hair by soaking the area with
   off driveways. Saturate concrete overnight, rinse the                                          cola. Leave for five minutes and wipe off.
   next day.)

August 2005                                                                                          • The Southern Yarn 7

the latest on our mates
                                                  southern humour

Working Holiday                                   Why?
Jane Scowcroft is spending her summer vol-           [courtesy Ed and Elaine Clairmont]
unteering in Tanzania. To find out more
about her adventures and the work she is           1. Why do we press harder on a remote
doing,     visit      her
                               blog    at            control when we know the batteries
                                                     are getting weak?                                                                              DO
                                                   2. Why do banks charge a fee on
                                                     “insufficient funds” when they
                                                     know there is not enough?                                                                      CL
                                                   3. Why does someone believe you                                                                  Win
                                                     when you say there are four bil-                                                               Man
                                                     lion stars, but check when you
                                                     say the paint is wet?
                                                   4. Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
                                                   5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by
                                                     lethal injection?
                                                                                                                Board of Directors
                                                   6. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Friends of Jane’s in Tanzania                                                                                   President:
                                                   7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but        Lynley Wesselingh
Checkmate!                                            ducks when you throw a revolver at him?                   Vice President:
                                                                                                                Terry Roberts
The Winnipeg Scrabble Club meets on Mon-           8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
day afternoons and/or Thursday evenings. If                                                                     Secretary:
                                                   9. Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?       Judy Powell
anyone is interested, call Caroline or Bill
                                                   10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still         Media/Communications:
Scowcroft at 489 7947.                                                                                          Jenny Gates
Condolences                                        11. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken       Peter Debenham
Our sincere condolences to Andrew Stam-              computer in it?                                            Social Coordinator:
brook on the death of his father, Dr. Fred                                                                      Peter Munn
                                                   12. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you
Stambrook, on July 15. Our thoughts also to                                                                     Membership:
                                                     use the bubbles are always white?
the rest of the Stambrook family on their                                                                       Lucia Barron
loss.                                              13. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
                                                   14. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator      The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
Seniors and Elders Month                             with hopes that something new to eat will have mate-       get it write.
October is Seniors and Elders Month, an              rialized?                                                  Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
opportunity for us to celebrate the diversity      15. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen
of older Manitobans and to recognise the             times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
tremendous extent to which their contribu-           pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the       Layout and design:
tions have shaped our Province. If you have          vacuum one more chance?                                    hydesmith communications
an idea of how our Club can recognise                                                                 
Seniors and Elders Month – theme “Creating         16. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end
Connections” – please forward your idea to           you first try?
                                                                                                                The electronic version of this
Peter Munn (             17. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light       newsletter typically contains a
or 237-1805).                                        fixtures?                                                  few extra pages of content (in
                                                   18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch some-       colour!), and can be downloaded
                                                     thing that’s falling off the table you always manage to    in PDF format from the website.
bottomfivesites – follow the travels of Marie
                                                     knock something else over?
                                                   19. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm
                                                                                                                A big thank you to all of our
                                                                                                                contributors within the club,
Collin and Christian Blanchard as they cycle                                                                    from overseas and information
                                                     as it was in summer when we complained about the
44,000 km from Quebec to South America return                                                                   services.
                                                     heat? – for help with that recipe,
                                                   20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?             THE DOWN UNDER
ask a chef or use the searchable database – free software to create and manage    21. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every       CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
your own photo album online                          four persons is suffering from some sort of mental ill-    Station Main, PO Box 1655, – log on and draw a master-          ness. Think of your three best friends, if they’re okay,   Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
piece                                                then it’s you.                                             1-204-832-4405 email:                                                                 
stown – for everything you love about NZ                                                              

8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                         August 2005
e-pages                                            ing processes in the public sector and hope-
                                                   fully eliminating the opportunity for bribery
                                                                                                     in the next Canadian election. Adscam didn’t
                                                                                                     have to happen, but the fact that it did shows
                                                   and other moral hazards. Our legislation          your country needs more than good inten-
Keeping Sticky Fingers out of the                  clearly defines management and governance         tions. To quote the American philosopher,
Public Purse                                       responsibilities, and creates a very tall fire-   Ralph Waldo Emerson, when faced with a
                                                   wall between politicians and the pools of         sanctimonious dinner guest, “The louder he
    By Bob Vine                                    funds so susceptible to diversion.                talked of his honour, the faster we counted
[Frontier Centre for Public Policy, July 1,            It is not sufficient, as witnesses to the     our spoons.”
2005]                                              Gomery maintain, to speculate that dedicat-           Politicians need better laws to save them
                                                   ed public servants in Ottawa must have            from temptation.
Public theft of the dramatic size and nature       known what was going down. Many did
that characterizes Canada’s Adscam would           object, only to be countermanded by more          Bob Vine is the Executive Director of Interlog (New
today be regarded as inconceivable in New          connected people higher up the feeding            Zealand) Limited, a consulting group specializing
Zealand.                                           chain. The accountability of government           in local government reform and Internet services
    For a Kiwi like myself, who was closely        managers vis-à-vis their political masters        for local government.
involved with reforms in governance over the       must be clearly defined and all decisions
last generation, Judge Gomery’s inquiry            taken transparently. There is little opportu-
makes for astonishing reading. After an era        nity for politicians in New Zealand to curry
of world-wide public sector reform focused         favour for their mates in the awarding of con-
on themes of accountability, transparency          tracts. Put simply, politicians here have the
and the separation of management and gov-          responsibility for budgets, but they are com-
ernance responsibilities, the thought that         pletely separated from the managers who
Canada’s past governments appear to have           give effect to approved plans and budgets.
shirked their responsibility for legislating to        The legislated responsibilities of a public
prevent scandals of this nature is appalling.      sector chief executive in New Zealand
Surely they must be held as guilty as the per-     include employing staff on behalf of the
petrators.                                         agency, and the agency is obliged to ensure
    One asks, “How could some monkeys              that its governance structures and processes
have got their fingers in the till like this?”     are effective, open and transparent. A cen-
But the story is even more fantastic than the      tral government department chief executive
allegations that some individuals personally       is responsible to cabinet ministers for the
pocketed $100 million and steered some of it       financial management and performance of
back to their political masters. The 2002          all departments.
report from the Auditor-General that offered           The chief executive is responsible also
the first peek at Adscam turns out to be the       for implementing the decisions of an
tip of the iceberg. Politicians are central to a   agency’s governors and ensuring effective
grander larceny. At least $793 million more        and efficient management of its activities.
had been flagged with serious questions            This function complements other laws that
before Adscam.                                     involve the Controller and Auditor-General,
    We take great comfort in the knowledge         who is an Officer of Parliament, no less, and
that the chances of similar incidents occur-       which strengthens their roles as instru-
ring here are somewhat remote. Canada’s            ments of public accountability. Management
agony gives us ample justification for the rig-    is held to account in the awarding of con-
orous mechanisms and processes developed           tracts and processes are transparent
here and in other democratic nations to pro-       through those agencies and the Chief
tect against corruption of this nature.            Ombudsman.
    Common law provides a robust means of              Under New Zealand law, it is almost
specifying and enforcing service delivery,         impossible for someone to solicit contracts
but the establishment, monitoring and              through a politician as they appeared to have
enforcement of common law obligations is           done in Québec. All political parties are
costly and resource intensive, and requires        aware of the rule, as are their constituents
skill and persistence. Inadequate attention        and the trough feeders who have so casually
to these factors reduces the effectiveness of      gathered and fed on the easy money in Cana-
the common law as a means of ensuring              da. If nothing else comes of the Gomery
transparency and accountability. The               inquiry, its proceedings indicate the need for
reforms we undertook expanded on the dis-          similar legislation to safeguard the integrity
cipline of public law to encompass a wide          of the Canadian public purse. If not com-
range of accountability mechanisms and             pletely immune from criminal behaviour,
remedies.                                          New Zealand’s governments have at least
    Activist governments that commandeer           made it much clearer than yours that institu-
large parts of a nation’s economic produc-         tional remedies are available.
tion face substantial risks. The New Zealand           Separating politicians from management
reforms have therefore been vital in tighten-      should be the number one campaign issue

9 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                       Online supplement
The hidden costs of the Kyoto                      unlikely to meet its emission targets. The           doesn’t. (Australia produces just 1.4 per
gambit                                             Government has admitted it will exceed its           cent.)
                                                   Kyoto target by 36 million tonnes of carbon              But green groups have already claimed
[August 4, 2005, SMH]                              dioxide between 2008 and 2012.                       the new pact is a “convention of polluters”
                                                        In their enthusiasm for the project, New        designed to wreck Kyoto and pander to the
Mosman ratepayers must be thrilled to find         Zealand officials miscalculated carbon diox-         coal industry.
themselves portrayed as “big foot” eco-glut-       ide inputs and outputs, claiming there would             Meanwhile Greenpeace doesn’t see New
tons by their council. My vegetarian col-          be a net profit in carbon credits from the           Zealand’s billion-dollar Kyoto blow-out as a
league John Huxley bravely revealed this           treaty. They reportedly counted some forests         problem, demanding the nation “reduce its
week that his fellow Mosmanites consume            twice and didn’t account for increased car           emissions urgently”.
more than six times their share of the             use due to a booming economy.                            Stop driving cars, Kiwis, or move to Mos-
Earth’s resources.                                      So, instead of profiting by being a global      man.
     He knows this because Mosman Council          green goodie, it will have to buy carbon cred-
has expended lots of energy calculating its        its to meet the shortfall, which will cost as
residents’ average “ecological footprint” - the    much as $NZ1.2 billion, a report by Pricewa-
amount of land and water needed to provide         terhouseCoopers says. Worse, a consultant’s
resources for one person and dispose of the        report released by the industry group Busi-
waste. Lifestyle aspects, from food to holi-       ness New Zealand last year calculated a
days, were factored in.                            future liability of as much as $NZ14 billion
     While the “sustainable global average”        under the protocol over the next 20 years.
ecological footprint is 2.3 hectares a person,          To cap it all off, the new market in carbon
the “yeti yachties from the north”, as Mos-        credits has led to threats to the environ-
manites are now dubbed, take up a huge 14.7        ment, such as a plan to dam the tiny Wait-
hectares, almost twice the Australian aver-        ahuna River in the South Island, where water
age.                                               would be pumped uphill into a nearby hydro-
      Naughty, naughty Mosman.                     electric scheme; there is little energy upside
     But in truth, the ecological footprint        but the plan would still attract carbon cred-
smells like just another tool of social control    its because it creates “clean” hydro energy.
that leftist green ideologues love. Fly over-           As carbon has taken its place in the
seas for a holiday or eat meat, and your eco-      derivatives market alongside pork belly
logical footprint balloons. Your only hope is      futures and stock options, trading has
to move into a cave, graze vegetable matter        “exploded”, reports Bloomberg. It is tipped
off the ground, and die young and childless.       to become the biggest financial market in the
     The Kyoto Protocol has proved to be the       world. Prices this year in Europe more than
same sort of feelgood gimmick, only much                                           ¤
                                                   quadrupled from just over 6 ($1 0) a tonne
more costly. It is backfiring on some of the                                ¤
                                                   in January to almost 30 in July. But the com-
well-meaning countries such as New                 plexities of this new market which Kyoto has
Zealand, which signed up. The treaty, which        spawned don’t seem to have provided much
came into force in February, aims to reduce        environmental advantage. Carbon trading
greenhouse gas emissions in participating          just shifts the responsibility for pollution
developed nations by at least 5 per cent by        around the globe, with brokers skimming off
2012, compared with 1990 levels. The Euro-         fat commissions.
pean Union system of carbon trading, which              A 2002 study by the non-profit Clean Air
underpins the treaty, began on January 1.          Trust of three similar pollution trading
     In some green eyes, Australia was a pari-     schemes in the US found they were a “dismal
ah for refusing, with the United States, to rat-   failure”. They did not produce environmental
ify the treaty. We still pledged to meet           benefits, stifled innovation in pollution con-
reasonable self-imposed greenhouse targets         trols, and led to delays and secrecy.
but without risking penalty or exposure to              The Prime Minister, John Howard, last
the burgeoning carbon trading market.              week declared Kyoto a dismal failure, too. He
     Judging by New Zealand’s predicament,         has set Australia’s sights on a new climate
we were wise not to sign up for Kyoto. Our         change pact with the US, Japan, China, India
Kiwi neighbours, once smug about ecologi-          and South Korea, the Asia Pacific Partner-
cal superiority, face a cost blow-out from the     ship on Clean Development and Climate,
treaty exceeding $NZ1 billion ($900 mil-           which will meet in Adelaide in November.
lion).                                             The aim of the new group is to cut emissions
     Kyoto has become an election issue in         by encouraging new technologies rather
New Zealand, with the Opposition Nationals         than curtailing economic growth. And since
contemplating pulling out of the agreement.        the US produces 20.6 per cent of global
The farcical result is that even though the        greenhouse emissions, and China 14.8 per
country produces only 0.2 per cent of the          cent, according to the Pew Centre on Global
world’s greenhouse gases, it is to be pun-         Climate Change, any treaty that includes the
ished as if it were a big polluter because it is   two nations is already ahead of one that

Online supplement                                                                            • The Southern Yarn 10
              The                                                                                                          September 2005

Southern Yarn
           NEWSLETTER                     OF      THE    D O W N        U N D E R        CLUB         OF    WINNIPEG             INC.

downundercalendar                       2 0 0 5

   Saturday, Sept. 24, Car Rally
  Start at 3:30 pm. Leave from 86 Clonard Ave
  (near the junction of St. Anne’s and St.
  Mary’s). Barbeque afterward. All food will be
  provided – bring refreshments for you and
  your group
  RSVP REQUIRED by Friday 23 at the latest –
  Peter or Margaret at 237-1805

   Saturday Oct. 22, Formal
  Reservations for 6:30 pm. Round Table
  Restaurant on Pembina Highway
  Call Peter at 237-1805 to confirm your
  attendance. Set menu with choice of three
  entrees. Free parking at the restaurant
                                                    Everything Old is New Again
  Price is $32.00, including choice of salad,              arely had the word got out when people     nacks that she thought we might like to have.
  and this covers all taxes and gratuity
  Beverages and dessert, if required, are extra     B      were getting excited. Indeed, the very
                                                           thought of returning to the Round
                                                    Table Restaurant for our Formal D inner
                                                                                                      Jean had seen a request in the Yarn several
                                                                                                      issues ago asking members to donate pre-
                                                                                                      loved Aussie and Kiwi treasures rather than
  NOVEMBER                                          elicited a lot of enthusiasm and anticipation     just toss them out. A few years back we were
   Annual General Meeting                           among those considering the next venue for        fortunate to get a bunch of Aussie stuff from
  Notice is hereby given that the Down Under        this great DUCW event. We had dabbled in          an exchange teacher returning to Australia.
  Club of Winnipeg will be holding their Annual     new places in the past, but knowing we are        Some of those items have been used in the
  General Meeting in November. A full agenda        going back to the Round Table is somehow          newsletter and included in the display at
  for the meeting will be included in the           akin to catching up with an old friend we         Folklorama. A chance to share the experi-
  October and November issues of The                have not seen for years. Ah, the memories of      ence.
  Southern Yarn.                                    delicious prime rib, the fabulous surrounds,          Speaking of which, it is almost time to
                                                    and the company of friends. Enough to make        renew your membership in the DUCW. Per-
                                                    your mouth water.                                 haps you might even consider taking a posi-
Welcome New Members                                     This month, Peter and Margaret organ-         tion on the Board and help carry us into the
Cath Gliddon who hails from Dunedin, NZ             ised a car rally for members to experience.       next year. Whatever your level of involvement
                                                    Remember those? Lots of fun, a bit of explor-     in the club, just know that we are always
More Online                                         ing and sightseeing, and a gathering at the       looking for new faces and new ideas to pro-
The online version of The Southern Yarn con-        end to chat about the adventure. It was some-     vide a myriad of events and opportunities for
tains extra pages this month. Log on to our         thing I did at university but not in the inter-   all members to enjoy.
web site to download the PDF version of this        vening years. But now it’s back, and it will be       So, if you are a member who hasn’t
issue (in colour!) and any previous issues          a hoot! An old idea and a new event on our        checked out the club for a while, why not
you may have missed.                                calendar – and even a new venue for the gath-     head out to the Rally or make a date with us
                                                    ering!                                            for the Formal Dinner. You might find that
                                                        Then this week I visited Jean Wade who        everything old is new again. And by the way,
                                                    donated a whole bunch of Aussie and a few         you’re welcome!
         the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                    Kiwi souvenirs, books and treasured nick-
                   Station Main, PO Box 1655
         Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                   telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                    Advertise in The Southern Yarn
                                                        Contact Jenny (831-6527, for all the rates. Send your
                                                        submission by email to or by fax (957-5754) or mail to PO
                                                        Box 1655, Stn Main, Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6.
                                                all things social in the club
                                                                                                   refreshments. We do need to know who will
                                                                                                   be coming along for catering purposes, so
                                                                                                   please RSVP by Friday 23 at the latest to
                                                What happened ...                                  Peter or Margaret at 237-1805 if you will be
 president’s                                        BBQ and Pool Party,                            attending. Hope to see you there.
     report  Lynley Wesselingh
                                                    Saturday August 20
                                                It was a great event, enjoyed by all and a fab-        Saturday October 22,
                                                ulous opportunity to cool off, eat out, catch          Formal Dinner, Roundtable
       eptember has                             up with friends, and check out Lynley and          The Club’s Formal Dinner is being held at

S      arrived and school has started again
       for another year. It’s hard to believe
that summer is over; hopefully we will con-
                                                Jason’s new digs. Unfortunately, Lynley took
                                                quite the tumble down the stairs (see Presi-
                                                dent’s report), but is well on the way to a full
                                                                                                   the Round Table Restaurant on Pembina
                                                                                                   Highway, on Saturday evening. Call Peter at
                                                                                                   237-1805 to confirm your attendance. There
tinue to get some of the great weather that     recovery. What’s that old saying? Ya can’t           will be a set menu, with a choice of three
has welcomed the start of fall. I would like    keep a good Kiwi down!                                      Entrees. Reservations have been
to thank everybody who attended our pool                                                                      made for 6:30 pm, and there is
party. Sorry for my early departure, but I’m                                                                 plenty of free parking at the
glad the party continued.                                                                                                restaurant. More details
    For those who didn’t attend, I had a lit-                                                                             will be in the next
tle mishap and knocked out a couple of                                                                                   newsletter. Price is
teeth around 6:00 in the evening. When                                                                                    $32.00,       including
Jason and I arrived back shortly after mid-                                                                                choice of salad, and
night, the party was still going and people                                                                           this covers all taxes and
seemed to be having a good time.                                                                                  gratuity. Beverages and
    Thank you to everyone who called to                                                                   dessert, if required, will be extra.
see how I was or sent cards and flowers. It     What’s ahead ...
made the recovery a little bit easier. We           Saturday September 24,                             November
will host another event sometime down the           Car Rally                                          Annual General Meeting
road so we can do some visiting and I can       Starting at 3:30 pm in the afternoon, we will      Notice is hereby given that the Down Under
stay away from the dentist chair.               be holding a CAR RALLY, leaving from Peter         Club of Winnipeg will hold their Annual
    September is also the month for mem-        and Margaret’s home at 86 Clonard Ave              General Meeting in November. A full agenda
bership renewal, and if you haven’t done        (near the junction of St. Anne’s and St.           for the meeting will be included in the Octo-
so already, get your forms into Lucia. I look   Mary’s). You will be directed around Win-          ber and November issues of The Southern
forward to seeing everyone at the car rally     nipeg, looking for clues and picking up            Yarn.
later this month, which makes me feel like      “stuff” along the way. Should be lots of fun.           The following positions will be elected to
a teen all over again. As always I’m looking    Following the Rally, there will be a barbeque      the board of Directors of the Down Under
forward to the formal dinner.                   at our newest member’s house, just south of        Club of Winnipeg, Inc., for the year 2005/6:
                                                the Perimeter, and prizes will be distributed.     President – Vice President – Social Coordi-
                                                All the food is provided, just bring along         nator – Treasurer – Membership –

                                                yourself and whatever you would like for           Media/Communications – Secretary
                                                                                                        DUCW members are invited to nominate

editorially                                                                                        a member – or themselves – for any position
                                                                                                   on the board. All terms are one year. Closing
    yours      Jenny Gates
                                                                        Remember to RSVP to
                                                                                                   date for nominations is November 15, 2005.
                                                                                                        (Ed: Thanks to the ANZA Club in Vancou-
                                                                       Peter Munn 237-1805 or
                                                                                                   ver for giving us this great idea.)

   See ya!

                                                          Better than Mum used to make!
(Another one gone to the Great Southern
Land ...)

                                                 Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                                390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                                  ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                        hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                     September 2005
undies  AKA NewsBriefs

All Blacks legend picked to do
hard yards for Fairfax
[August 26, 2005, NZ Herald] John Fairfax
has appointed David Kirk, a former All            Pride of the river
Blacks captain with experience in printing        [August 31, 2005, SMH] Despite a host of set-
and newsprint supply, as its new chief exec-      backs during filming, including his own
utive. Kirk, who led the All Blacks to a World    sacking, New Zealand director Vincent Ward
Cup win in 1987, will receive a $1.2 million      believes River Queen ranks among his best          Home grown ... Hogan and John Cornell are
sign-on fee.                                      work. Based on an original story by Ward,          thought to have received 20 per cent of the prof-
                                                  River Queen is set during the New Zealand          its from Crocodile Dundee. Photo: Jon Reid
Farewell                                          Wars of the mid-19th Century and tells the
[August 15, 2005, Globe and Mail] David           tale of a mother’s search for her lost son.        Croc choaks!
Lange, for Prime Minister of New Zealand,         River Queen stars New Zealanders Cliff Cur-        [September 3, 2005, SMH] Paul Hogan has
died in Auckland on August 13 of complica-        tis and Temuera Morrison.                          been caught up in the Australian Crime
tions from renal failure. He was 63.                                                                 Commission’s special investigation into the
                                                                                                     use of offshore tax havens. Millions of dol-
Struth! Mate cops rough end of                                                                       lars in royalty payments from Hogan’s Croc-
pineapple                                                                                            odile Dundee films were channelled to
[August 19, 2005, SMH] It may be Australia’s                                                         complex offshore tax structures in Chile and
universally accepted term of address but                                                             the Netherlands Antilles – a Caribbean tax
yesterday “mate” became a forbidden word in                                                          haven. The Commission is also reviewing
the national Parliament. In an edict that last-                                                      Hogan’s bank statements, receipts, credit
ed less than a day, parliamentary security                                                           cards, debit cards and computer records.
staff were ordered to stop greeting visitors as
“mate”. Labor MPs labelled the ban un-Aus-        John Brogden – in opposition one day, out the      Ouch!
tralian, while the Prime Minister, John           door the next. Photo: Bob Pearce                   [September 10, 2005, NZ Herald] New
Howard, who has used the term to describe                                                            Zealand fuel companies pushed pump
the US President, said it was unworkable.         And then what happened?                            prices to NZ$1.55 per litre, while across the
And one Liberal backbencher said he called        [August 29, 2005, SMH] John Brogden                Tasman the price is Aus$1.35.
almost everyone mate and treated the word         resigned as state Opposition Leader after an
as a badge of honour.                             alcohol-fuelled night during which he              Anyone know if Pat McGrath
                                                  pinched one journalist’s bottom, proposi-          bought a ticket?
Phone-rage suit settled                           tioned another, and referred to Bob Carr’s         [September 11, 2005, NZ Herald] A lucky
[August 26, 2005, SMH] Actor Russell Crowe        wife as a “mail-order bride”. A day after his      Aucklander is $15.2 million richer after beat-
yesterday settled a civil lawsuit filed by the    resignation, Brogden was rushed to hospital        ing the 1-in-30 million odds last night to win
New York hotel clerk he assaulted in June         following a failed apparent suicide attempt        New Zealand’s largest ever lottery prize. The
with a telephone. Local tabloids said Crowe       and is currently recovering and pondering          winning ticket was bought at Amigo’s Paper
paid about $US100,000 ($132,000) to settle        his future.                                        Power & Lotto in Mt Roskill. And Aucklan-
the civil lawsuit, and still faces criminal                                                          ders are expected to go into a frenzy of spec-
charges of assault. Crowe, 41, is due back in                                                        ulation over the next few days until the
court on September 14 for the criminal                                                               winner finally claims the huge prize. Anyone
charges and faces up to seven years in jail if                                                       spoken to Pat lately?
River Queen: during the New Zealand Wars of the                                                      Pam Sabourin met up with Felicity and Annushka
mid-19th Century. NZ Herald                                                                          Speight from New Zealand when they were camp-
                                                                                                     ing in Kenora. The girls are cycling across Cana-
                                                                                                     da, so we wish them well on their adventure.

                                                                                                        Decks, Sunrooms and

   Kiwi Installations                                           Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                     Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                  Free in-home/cottage estimates.

September 2005                                                                            • The Southern Yarn 3

the latest on our mates
                                                  staying connected to things
Our sincere condolences to Nadine Nand
and family on the death of her mother, Joce-      Podcasting?
lyn Bracke, on August 18.                                 adio is experiencing a renais-

Congratulations to Jason and Lynley who are
                                                  R       sance through the power of con-
                                                          verging media and technologies.
                                                  By employing your computer to tune into                                                                DO
engaged to be married. The proud owners of
a new-to-them house and with a wedding to
                                                  the digital versions of radio programs
                                                  overseas, you can tap into broadcasts from
plan, looks like they are in for a very busy
few months. And might I just say, “It’s about
                                                  Australia, NewZealand and any other point on the globe. What
                                                  once required a shortwave radio, a great deal of patience and
time!”                                            very spotty reception, now engages a home computer with a                                              Win
                                                  reasonably peppy connection to the Internet. Try                                                       Man
New Zealand Elections                    or for a taste.
Don’t forget to get all the latest on the elec-   Most use Windows Media Player or RealAudio, both free.
tions in New Zealand by visiting www.nzem-            This is perfect for tapping into live broadcasts, but with or            time zones the way they are, it would be nice to be able to
                                                  record favourite programs for listening to later. Since the

                                                  music comes to you digitally, you store it on your computer.
                                                      Apple’s iPod, the popular portable digital music device,
                                                  added a whole new concept to their (free) iTunes software,
                                                                                                                     Board of Directors
                                                                                                                     Lynley Wesselingh
see the beautiful murals in our fair city         and you can now subscribe to, automatically download and           Vice President:                                                                              Terry Roberts
                                                  move special broadcasts to play back through headphone or
- for those “just in case” moments                in your car, home stereo or wherever.                              Secretary:
                                                                                                                     Judy Powell             This is where the term “podcasting” was coined, and it is
estar2004.mp3 - good for a giggle                                                                                    Media/Communications:
                                                  reinventing radio through an innovative delivery method.           Jenny Gates -       Podcasts are generally pre-recorded programs lasting from
ABC Australia’s youth radio network via ‘podcast’ a few minutes to an hour or so long which you toss or archive      Peter Debenham - All the details on     after listening to them. They can be hip youth music produc-       Social Coordinator:
radio podcasting                                  tions from the likes of ABC Australia’s Triple-J, or just inter-   Peter Munn
                                                  views, talk shows, variety or anything, really.                    Membership:
                                                      Big broadcasters are getting into it, expanding their foot-    Lucia Barron
                                                                                                  print further
                                                                                                  than       ever
                                                                                                                     The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
                                                                                                  imagined, for      get it write.
         We provide the photographs that provide                                                  minimal cost
                                                                                                  to them. CBC
                                                                                                                     Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754

                       a lifetime of memories
                                                                                                  Radio         is
                                                                                                  doing it, log-     Layout and design:
       PETS—WEDDINGS—INFORMAL PORTRAITS—SPORTS                                                    ging popular       hydesmith communications
    ORDER YOUR FAMILY PHOTO CHRISTMAS CARDS NOW!                                                           
                                                                                                  Podcasts can

         CBO IMAGES
                                                                                                  even be creat-     The electronic version of this
                                                                                                  ed by amateur      newsletter typically contains a
                                                                                                  producers          few extra pages of content (in
      / 204-822-5939 TO CAPTURE YOUR MEMORIES                          and sent out       colour!), and can be downloaded
                                                                                                  for worldwide      in PDF format from the website.
                                                                                                  consumption.       A big thank you to all of our
                                                                                                  Anyone can         contributors within the club,
                                                                                                  do it, really,     from overseas and information
                                                                                                  and it is going    services.
                                                                                                  to be big, if it
                                                                                                  continues to       THE DOWN UNDER
                                                                                                  grow at the        CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
                                                                                                  current pace.      Station Main, PO Box 1655,
                                                                                                                     Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                                                                      Brian          1-204-832-4405 email:

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                          September 2005
Brash plans to stop flight of Kiwis                 the numbers. The average weekly wage in            most needs. They’re offering tax cuts to win
[September 6, 2005, SMH]                            Australia, he says, is almost 30 per cent high-    the election.
                                                    er than in New Zealand. In the first half of            Since Labour took power in 1999, the
         ew Zealand faces stagnation unless         this decade, wages rose just 2.1 per cent a        only tax cuts for New Zealanders have been

N        its leaders can make it a better place
         to work, writes Tim Colebatch.
     New Zealand’s No. 1 one problem, says
                                                    year, barely ahead of prices, while directors’
                                                    fees went up last year by 20.5 per cent alone.
                                                         Since workplace relations changes in
                                                                                                       family benefits. With wages under tight con-
                                                                                                       trol, people want more money.
                                                                                                            Until now, as in Australia, New Zealan-
columnist David Beatson, is Australia. What-        1991 emasculated the bargaining power of           ders have raised their living standards by
ever New Zealand does, Australia is there,          workers, wages have stayed astonishingly           borrowing. In 1990 New Zealand households
always bigger and richer, always open to any        flat. Between 1992 and 2005, in real terms,        owed $NZ25 billion. But last year alone, they
New Zealanders who want to move — and               New Zealand’s gross domestic product grew          increased their debt by $NZ16 billion, or
that’s what they’re doing.                          by a massive 55 per cent, yet almost all of this   more than 10 per cent of GDP. While most of
     “We’re being rorted,” Beatson, a former        has come from expanding jobs, rather than          that was associated with the housing boom,
prime ministerial adviser, argues this week         productivity and wages. Employment grew            it also reflects the reality that material aspi-
in the business weekly The Independent              by 40 per cent in that time, but real average      rations are rising faster than wage growth
after new figures showed a net 20,000 New           wages rose just 7 per cent: about 10 cents an      can support.
Zealanders emigrated across the Tasman              hour each year.                                         That’s the vein that Brash and his party
last year, one in every 200 of its people. Just          In the 1980s, Conway says, wage rates         plan to mine by building their election cam-
another year in a long exodus he warns is           were comparable across the Tasman. But             paign around tax cuts. New Zealand’s top tax
“bleeding us dry”.                                  there are amazing differences in the rates         rate is only 39 per cent, but it cuts in at just
     In the midst of an election campaign           paid by the same companies for the same            $NZ60,000, and Labour has not lifted any
with profound implications for both coun-           jobs on either side of the sea. Australian         thresholds since it took office. The Finance
tries, his fears highlight the long-term dan-       workers in some occupations are reportedly         Minister, Michael Cullen, is respected for his
ger facing New Zealand from this one-way            paid almost twice as much as their Kiwi            austerity, but when he promised in the budg-
traffic, a brain drain unmatched in the rest        counterparts, and most earn at least 50 per        et in May to index the tax scales from 2008,
of the world.                                       cent more.                                         giving the average taxpayer a princely 80
     The election campaign has seen a resur-             “There’s a huge gravity effect by now,”       cents a week, resentment boiled over. Labour
gent National Party led by former Reserve           Conway says. “Going to Australia doesn’t feel      has attempted to repair the damage by gener-
Bank governor Don Brash offer big tax cuts          like emigrating anymore. It’s a three-hour         ous tax support for families, but in the bid-
and an end to the special treatment of Maori.       plane flight. Everyone’s got relatives or          ding war it is being heavily outbid.
Labour Prime Minister Helen Clark has been          friends over there, so it feels natural to go           Brash concedes that tax cuts will not end
forced onto the defensive, despite having           there too.”                                        the exodus to Australia. Like Labour, he is
delivered six years of strong economic                   Australia looms over the rowdy cam-           promising big spending on infrastructure,
growth and generally safe political manage-         paign now under way for the September 17           especially roads, and he told the Herald that
ment.                                               election.                                          reforming regulation to remove roadblocks
     Looming over the election like a long               On some issues, it is part of the battle:     to investment would be critical to achieving
dark cloud is the exodus, which has now             for example, Clark promises that Labour will       the sustained 4 per cent growth he aims for.
grown to such a level that, if it continues,        waive any interest bills on outstanding stu-            Labour is emphasising skills training
New Zealand will be profoundly changed.             dent loans — so long as the graduates stay in      and education spending. But, like Australia,
     In the year to June, its statisticians esti-   New Zealand. The two largest minor parties,        New Zealand is living beyond its means,
mate, New Zealand’s population grew by              New Zealand First and the Greens, are both         with no clear strategy to earn its keep.
37,000. But virtually all that growth was           calling for an abrupt 26 per cent increase in           And none of this percolates through the
among people over 40. The population under          the minimum wage, from $NZ9.50 ($8.75)             sloganeering of the campaign debates, let
40 grew by just 270 - and within that, the          an hour to $NZ12, to help keep workers at          alone the ads, where the Nationals have won
European population under 40 is already             home.                                              hands down, albeit with minimal intellectu-
falling. Their fertility rates are low, and so           The Nationals’ economic spokesman,            al content. Their main TV ad shows a cartoon
many of their young are emigrating to Aus-          John Key, is a returned expatriate, a boy who      “tax-a-thon” in which Clark and her minis-
tralia and elsewhere that, on present trends,       grew up in state housing in Christchurch to        ters steal money from people’s piggy banks
ultimately they would shrink to being just          become a wealthy merchant banker in Lon-           and wallets while singing “Thank you very
one minority among others: the Maori, Pacif-        don before returning home in 2002 to stand         much … “ And the cities are full of National
ic Islanders, Asians.                               for Parliament.                                    billboards summing up issues in two-word
     “Right now, about 415,000 New Zealan-               Key argues that the Nationals’ central        contrasts. On Maori land claims, for exam-
ders are living in Australia,” Beatson writes.      policy - cutting income taxes sharply - will       ple, Labour is “Iwi” (tribes), the Nationals
“Two-thirds are of working age. This means          give New Zealanders more incentive to stay         are “Kiwi” (all New Zealanders). It’s neat,
about 15 per cent of our New Zealand-raised         and work harder to build their careers.            subliminal, and very effective.
and trained labour force is working on the          “We’re losing 630 people a week to Aus-                 It might win them the election. But will it
other side of the Tasman, while New Zealand         tralia,” he says. “If New Zealand could grow       stop the weekly planeload of Kiwis migrat-
suffers from a labour shortage that’s slowing       at 4 per cent a year over the next 10 years, we    ing to Australia?
the growth of our economy.                          can close much of the gap that is driving
     “The main reason is obvious: the pay is        them.”
much better.”                                            Realistically, however, the Nationals are
     Peter Conway, economist for the New            not offering tax cuts because their economic
Zealand Council of Trade Unions, spells out         analysis tells them that’s what New Zealand

5 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                       Online supplement
NEW ZEALAND DECIDES                             The Leaders

The State of the Parties                        Don Brash (National) – was Reserve Bank
Labour 52 SEATS (41 per cent of vote in 2002)   governor for 14 years before quitting to enter
National 27 SEATS (21 per cent)                 politics in 2002; son of a left-wing Presbyter-
Labour formed a minority government with        ian minister, was converted to free-market
the Progressives, supported from outside by     economics as a PhD; student in Canberra in
United Future and the Greens, with New          the early 1960s; ran a merchant bank before
Zealand First and ACT in opposition.            taking over the Reserve Bank in 1988 and
                                                ruthlessly increased interest rates to crush
The Polls – It’s neck and neck.                 inflation; an old-fashioned gentleman in
A poll in The New Zealand Herald reports        style.
Labour leading by 43 per cent to 39 per cent,       Strengths: Articulate, thorough, genuine
but two other polls this week show National     in his beliefs, more integrity than most. Has
ahead. Of the minor parties, only New           successfully defined the battleground for the
Zealand First and the Greens are topping 5      election by staking out new ground on tax
per cent.                                       cuts and Maori rights, moving debate to the
The Issues: tax cuts, Maori rights                  Weaknesses: A hardliner as Reserve
National promises income tax cuts of more       Bank governor, many suspect his real agenda
than 10 per cent, spread across all income      is to resume the unpopular free-market
ranges, but with the biggest at the top.        reforms New Zealand stopped a decade ago.
Labour offers tax cuts to middle-income fam-
ilies with children, but costing only a third   Helen Clark – Prime Minister since 1999,
as much.                                        grew up on a dairy farm, became a student
     Maori Rights – National and New            radical and academic in Auckland in the
Zealand First propose a 2010 deadline to set-   1970s; tall, tough, married with no children,
tle land claims arising from the 1840 Treaty    bushwalker; runs a government similar in
of Waitangi, and the abolition of all govern-   style to Victoria’s Bracks Government: mid-
ment agencies dedicated to serving Maori        dle-of-the-road, cautious, fiscally austere,
interests.                                      politically shrewd; polls show she is easily
                                                the preferred prime minister.
                                                    Strengths: Sixyears of strong growth has
                                                cut unemployment to 3.5 per cent and lifted
                                                household incomes. Significant increases in
                                                spending on education, health, families,
                                                    Weaknesses: Has given no tax cuts,
                                                except for families. Seen as too protective of
                                                Maori rights, and as pushy and manipula-

Online supplement                                                                        • The Southern Yarn 6
            The                                                                                                                   October 2005

Southern Yarn
         NEWSLETTER                     OF        THE   D O W N         U N D E R         CLUB         OF    WINNIPEG               INC.

downundercalendar                     2 0 0 5

 Saturday Oct. 22
 Formal Dinner
Reservations for 6:30 pm. Round Table
Restaurant on Pembina Highway
Call Peter at 237-1805 to confirm your
attendance. Set menu with choice of three
entrees. Free parking at the restaurant
Price is $32.00, including choice of salad,                                                                                Kuta Beach. Inset: Australian Mary Anne
                                                                                                                           Purkiss, injured during the bomb blast in
and this covers all taxes and gratuity
                                                                                                                           Indonesia’s Bali is helped to a plane home
Beverages and dessert, if required, are extra                                                                              Sunday, Oct. 2, 2005. (AP Photo/Firdia
 Saturday November 26, 6:30 pm
 Annual General Meeting
Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin on the second
                                                    Bali still tourist destination
floor. This is a very important meeting so plan
to attend and be part of the ongoing activities
of the DUCW. Doors will open at 6.30 pm and
                                                    despite warnings
the meeting will start promptly at 7:00 pm.                 espite the tragedy of the latest terror-   name suggests: an advisory. We don’t con-

 Sunday December 18
                                                    D       ist bombings, Aussies and Kiwis are
                                                            expected to continue to consider Bali
                                                    as a tourist destination.
                                                                                                       demn people for going there. We feel obliged
                                                                                                       to pass on the best information we have and
                                                                                                       then we leave it up to [them] to make a deci-
 Childrens Christmas Party, fol-                        The first Australians to arrive home fol-      sion for themselves about the level of risk
 lowed by a Pot Luck Supper                         lowing the deadly blasts have vowed to             they’re prepared to take.”
Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin, second floor         return to the tourist island. “I don’t blame the        Governments in both Australia and New
This will be held on the Sunday afternoon           people [there] because it’s not the people.        Zealand have stepped up travel warnings,
(time to be announced), and will be followed        They love having tourists ... for this to happen   telling tourists more bombings cannot be
by a wonderful pot luck supper. Expect a visit      again it’s just going to kill their economy.”      ruled out and advising people to defer non-
from Santa, kids! Parents are invited to                Many Aussies and Kiwis who have                essential or tourist travel, both to Bali and
contact Peter (237-1805,                            booked to travel to Bali in the future have not    the rest of Indonesia. “There remains a high with the                cancelled their plans, and some who were on        threat from terrorism in Indonesia, as the
names and ages of children under 12 who will        Bali at the time of the bombings have opted        October 1 Bali bombings demonstrated. We
be attending.                                       to stay, doing what they can to sup-                              continue to receive reports
                                                    port the locals.                                                  that attacks are in the
                                                        FourAustralians are confirmed                                 advanced stages of planning.”
                                                    dead, with Newcastle (north of
                                                                                                                     Bombing survivor Joe Frost,
                                                    Sydney) bearing the brunt of the
                                                                                                                     back home in Newcastle, says
                                                    Australian casualties (3 dead, 13
                                                                                                                     he will be more cautious about
                                                    injured). Also dead is a 16-year-old
                                                                                                                     travelling and has no plans to
                                                    boy from Western Australia. A New
                                                                                                                     return to Bali. Photo: Simone
                                                    Zealand man was injured in one of
                                                                                                                     Depeak, The Age.
                                                    the explosions, but not seriously,
                                                    and there is no word of any other
       the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                    New Zealand casualties.                                In memorial services in Newcastle and
                 Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                        Thousands of Aussies and Kiwis visit           Canberra, more than 1,000 and 150, respec-
       Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                    Indonesia each month and there are con-            tively, gathered to remember the victims.
                 telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                    cerns that travellers are getting desensitised     Survivor Joe Frost, 20, spoke in Newcastle,
                                                    to terror attacks. “The ... information has        honouring the Balinese who helped all the
                                                    been that there are ongoing terrorist plans        injured before worrying about themselves.
                                                    for attacks there. But it is simply what the           Jenny Gates in Sydney
                                                         aving just returned from Boston, it is     mal format again next month.

    yours                                        H       a pretty sight to see all the changing
                                                         leaves here. Boston just has so much
                                                 history and is a very green city. Their busy
                                                                                                        We are also taking nominations for the
                                                                                                    Board of Directors in advance of the upcom-
                                                                                                    ing AGM. If you would like more informa-
              Jenny Gates                        tourist months are from the end of Septem-         tion on any of the positions and the role
       ’day from the                             ber through to mid-November with what              that you would play, please don’t hesitate to

G      Great Southern
       Land, where the
cockatoos abound, the
                                                 they call “leaf watches”. Everything was still
                                                 green while I was there. And I did manage
                                                 to see a Red Sox game while I
                                                                                                    give me a call (275-7631) and I will be
                                                                                                    happy to give you details. If you just want to
                                                                                                    put your name forward for a position, call
sandy beaches stretch                            was there and boy, do they ever                    Gordon Keatch at 832-4405 - he is eagerly
forever, the beer is always on tap, and get-     take their ball games seriously!                   waiting for your call. We always welcome
ting off the beaten track is the most natu-                                                         new faces to the Board. The AGM will be at
ral thing in the world!
                                                   president’s                                      the Scandinavian Club on Erin on Saturday
    Mixed emotions in this part of the
world, with excellent grand final wins by              report  Lynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                    November 26 at 6:30 pm. The meeting will
                                                                                                    start at 7 pm sharp.
the Sydney Swans (AFL) and the Wests                                                                    With the weather turning cool it is per-
Tigers (RL) tempered by the tragedy once                                                            fect timing for our formal dinner. We are
again in Bali. Although the loss of life was         If you haven’t done so yet, please renew       returning to the birthplace of the formal
less than in October 12, 2002, the impact        your club membership as soon as possible           dinner - The Round Table on Pembina Hwy.
has been no less devastating. Thoughts are       so you will not miss a single issue of your        I have had a sneak peek at the menu and it
with not only those killed, maimed or over-      Southern Yarn. I know how much we all              will be a delightful meal, with great compa-
wrought by this senseless attack, but to         enjoy getting it. With Jenny Gates still in        ny in a cozy surrounding. You don’t want to
those citizens of Bali who bear the brunt of     Australia this newsletter is only a four           miss this one so let Peter
these dreadful terrorist attacks.                pager again, but we will be back to our nor-       reserve you a spot.
    Apologies to DUCW members for two
short issue of the Yarn in succession. Time
and circumstance dictated a reduction
from our normally 8 page issues, but we’ll
                                                 all things social in the club
                                                                                                    Prawns ($7.99), Onion Rings ($5.95) and
                                                                                                    Sauteeed Mushrooms ($3.00). IMPORTANT!
get back on track with that for the Novem-           Saturday October 22,                           You must contact Peter Munn (237-1805,
ber issue.                                           Formal Dinner, Roundtable             by Friday
    In the meantime, enjoy this brief inter-                                                        October 21 to reserve your place at the Table.
lude to your day and thank you lucky stars       The Club’s Formal Dinner is being held at the
that you will be safely tucked into your         Round Table Restaurant on Pembina High-                Sunday December 18
beds tonight.                                    way, on Saturday evening. Call Peter at 237-           Childrens Christmas Party
                                                 1805 to confirm your attendance. There will            and Pot Luck Supper
                                                 be a set menu, with a choice of three Entrees.         Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin,
                                                 Reservations have been made for 6:30 pm,               second floor
                                                 and there is plenty of free parking at the         Santa is getting ready to make an appear-
   Saturday November 26, 6:30 pm                 restaurant. More details will be in the next       ance at our club Christmas party, but it won’t
   Annual General Meeting                        newsletter. Price is $32.00, including choice      be much of a party if you aren’t there! Once
Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin on the second      of salad, and this covers all taxes and gratu-     again, this event will be held on the Sunday
floor. Who doesn’t love an AGM! Yep, that        ity. Beverages and dessert, if required, will      afternoon (time to be announced), and will
time of year again and we’d love to see as       be extra.                                          be followed by a wonderful pot luck supper.
many people as possible at this meeting. If           There are three choices for the main meal     Parents are invited to contact Peter (237-
you want to stand for a position on the board,   - Prime Rib of Roast Beef, Chicken Portobello,     1805, with
contact Gordon Keatch at 832-4405. Doors         and Hoisin Glazed BC Salmon. And you can           the names and ages of children under 12 who
will open at 6.30 pm and the meeting will        enhance your meal with one or more of the          will be attending. Help make this event loads

start promptly at 7:00 pm.                       following - Lobster Tail ($19.99), Skewer of       of fun for everyone.

                    Remember to RSVP to
                   Peter Munn 237-1805 or
                                                                 Stock up before the snow falls

                                                  Molly’s Meat Pies
Advertise in The Southern Yarn
  Contact Jenny (831-6527,                                                       390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd for rates                                              ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
  and details.
                                                                         hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                        October 2005
                                                   opting for Thailand. Fiona Luhrs, chief exec-      Helping the kids to sue
        down                                       utive of the Tourism Industry Association,
                                                   said events such as the Bali bombings rein-
                                                                                                      The children of an Invercargill woman who
                                                                                                      died of lung cancer can sue a tobacco manu-
   undies AKA NewsBriefs
                                                   forced the perception that New Zealand was
                                                   a safe place for holidays. People looking for
                                                                                                      facturer after their right to claim compensa-
                                                                                                      tion was reinstated by the Court of Appeal
                                                   an Asia Pacific holiday might now come here        today. Brandon and Kasey Pou can seek
A Day in the Life of Two                           rather than go there.                              damages from British American Tobacco
Countries …                                                                                           (New Zealand) and WD & HO Wills for finan-
October 4, 2005         [SMH,    NZ    Herald,     Got ya pen, mate?                                  cial loss incurred by their mother’s death]                                   The Government has no plans to introduce           and for assistance raising her grandchild,
                                                   voluntary voting in Australia. PM John             the five-bench judge court said in its
                                In sickness and
                                                   Howard said that while he supported volun-         reserved decision. The siblings, aged in their
                                in health …        tary voting, the issue was not on the Govern-      twenties, filed their own claim for $110,000
                                Dr Robin Warren    ment’s agenda and the Coalition would not          compensation after their mother Janice Pou –
                                and Professor      be proposing it ahead of the next federal          a former fish and chip shop worker who
                                Barry Marshall.    election. “There are a lot of people in Aus-       smoked 30 cigarettes a day since she was 17
                                Photo: Reuters     tralia who feel that there is a stability and      – died in September 2002 at the age of 51.
                                                   cohesion about our system and part of that is
                                                   the current voting system.”                        Oh, please!
Nobel discovery                                                                                       A duel between two foam Canterbury Cru-
Two Australian researchers who turned              Helping the blind to “see”                         saders broadswords is being fought in the
medicine upside down by showing that pep-          Technology to help blind and visually impaired     High Court at Christchurch. Julian Meates
tic ulcers and gastritis could be caused by a      people earned HumanWare top honours at this        says the foam sword wielded by thousands of
bacterium have been awarded the 2005               year’s Allied Telesyn New Zealand Hi Tech          Crusaders fans was the one he designed,
Nobel Prize for physiology or medicine.            Awards. Christchurch-based HumanWare,              only for it to be blatantly copied by the Cham-
Before the discovery in 1982 that Helicobac-       described by judges as “one of the brightest       pions of the World chain of sports stores.
ter pylori played a role in gastritis and peptic   lights among New Zealand’s elite exporters”,       Meates is claiming breach of copyright on
ulcers, stress and lifestyle were considered       was named supreme winner and electronics           the sword and a plastic trumpet he designed.
the main causes of peptic ulcer disease. The       company of the year. The company develops          Champions of the World claims Meates was
last Australian to win a Nobel Prize was           Braille and speech technology, video magnifi-      the real copyright pirate, duplicating the
Peter Doherty for medicine in 1996.                cation tools and screen-reading software.          design from someone else.

Nine Australians seriously injured in the
Bali blasts will be transferred from Darwin
                                                      Annual General Meeting
to Newcastle tomorrow to be close to their            Saturday, November 26th, 6:30 pm
friends and family. A hospital spokeswoman            Notice is hereby given that the Annual Gernal Meeting of members of the
said a total of 12 patients evacuated from            Down Under Club of Winnipeg Inc. will be held on Saturday, November 26th,
Bali remained in care with bomb blast                 2005, at the Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin Street, Winnipeg, MB.
injuries from Saturday’s attacks. Five other
Australians remain in critical conditions in          Agenda
Singapore. Many of the victims suffered               Roll Call - Secretary’s Report - Minutes of Previous Meeting
severe organ damage from shrapnel bombs               President’s Report - Financial Report - Committee Reports
that tore through three packed restaurants            Election of Officers - Other Business - Close of AGM
at Bali’s popular tourist spots of Kuta and
Jimbaran Bay.                                         Election
                                                      All club members in good standing are eligible to put their
Kiwis tough it out                                    names forward for any position on the Board:
New Zealanders on holiday in Bali look like-              President - Vice President - Treasurer - Secretary - Membership - Social
ly to tough out their holidays rather than fly            Organizer - Media/Communications
home early. But many of those about to leave
for the resort island have cancelled or are           Other non-board positions include Weet-Bix Kids Club Coordinator. If anyone
transferring bookings. Of the 100 booked to           is interested and willing to take on any of these positions, please contact
leave for Bali in the next month, about half          Gordon Keetch at 832-4405 or attend the meeting and let your name stand.
had cancelled or changed destination, many

                                                                                                      Decks, Sunrooms and

   Kiwi Installations                                           Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                   Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                Free in-home/cottage estimates.

October 2005                                                                               • The Southern Yarn 3
                          STEPPING DOWN: Current ministers, from top, Paul Swain, Marian Hobbs, and George
                          Hawkins have announced that they will not seek Cabinet posts in the new Government.
                          Photo: Dominion Post

                          She’s back!
                          Labour leader Helen Clark has been confirmed as PM of New Zealand. And the sub-
                          sequent decision by three ministers not to seek positions in the new government
                          has given Clark room to move when she appoints her new Cabinet. Paul Swain,
                          George Hawkins and Marian Hobbs are stepping down for various reasons, includ-
                          ing more family time and more time to focus on respective electorates.
funnybusiness                                                                                                                                        UN
down under humour, courtesy Charlie Powell this month
                                                              And the trolley boys, they just watched him,
                                                              They stood there still and mute;                                                       CL
                                                              Then Brad saw him reach the top of the hill                                            Win
                                                              And yelled “Go f’rit Kevin, you little beaut!”
    Ian Mackay                                                                                                                                       Man
There was movement in the carpark, for the word had           Now it must be said, that, in Nambour,
passed around,                                                ........ A trolley’s life is poor;
That the trolley from Nambour Woolies had got away;           So the dream of every trolley
And had joined the wild street trolleys, it was nowhere to    ...Is to Maroochydore.
be found,
And all the trolley boys had gathered to the fray.            Kevin chased those trolleys down the hill,        Board of Directors
                                                              He was running fast that day;
There was Jason...who had had his start                                                                         President:
                                                              And at last he overtook them,
In the deli...but had been demoted;                                                                             Lynley Wesselingh
                                                              Out near the Bruce Highway.
And there was Brad...who lived on chips and coke,                                                               Vice President:
And was rather fat...and bloated.                                                                               Terry Roberts
                                                              He cut them off and wheeled them round.
                                                              And he said, “Now you lot, cut this crap!”        Secretary:
There was Glennie who could push his trolleys                                                                   Judy Powell
                                                              And he lined them up inside each other,
In the longest line of all;                                   And he took out ....his octopus strap.            Media/Communications:
And a new young chap, named Kevin,                                                                              Jenny Gates
Who stood over six feet tall.                                 And the streets of Nambour all went quiet         Treasurer:
                                                              As he wheeled those trolleys home;                Peter Debenham
Well they scoured the streets of Nambour,                     Their spirits were broken, he’d done that much,   Social Coordinator:
They found two trolleys in the creek;                         Now never more’d they roam.                       Peter Munn
Fifteen wedged in gutters...and one...                                                                          Membership:
In Franklins...what a cheek!                                  Today, Kevin’s name’s a household word,           Lucia Barron
                                                              It’s enshrined in trolley boy lore;
Then someone brought the dreadful news                        But he no longer walks the streets,
That had the trolley boys all bitchin’;                                                                         The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
                                                              ...’Cos he manages the store!
Those street trolleys were seen...heading fast...                                                               get it write.
...Down past the Howard Street Kitchen.                                                                         Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754

“Ah Rats!” said Brad, “We’ve lost ‘em,
We may’s well give up the ghost;                                                                                Layout and design:
                                                             wanna see some great animation?
When trolleys head that fast down Howard Street                                                                 hydesmith communications
...They’re headed for the Coast.”
                                                             wanna see some more great animation?     
But Kevin refused to chuck it in,
                                                             various ABC Australia media feeds                  The electronic version of this
(Well it was his very first day);
                                                                          newsletter typically contains a
He threw his cap down on the ground,
                                                             Radio New Zealand on short wave, MP3 or podcast!
And he ran off for the fray.                                                                                    few extra pages of content (in
                                                    music and culture of New Zealand
                                                                                                                colour!), and can be downloaded
                                                                                                                in PDF format from the website.
                                                                                                                A big thank you to all of our
                                                                                                                contributors within the club,
                                                                                                                from overseas and information

                                                                                                                THE DOWN UNDER
                                                                                                                CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
                                                                                                                Station Main, PO Box 1655,
                                                                                                                Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                                                                                1-204-832-4405 email:

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                         October 2005
               The                                                                                                                  November 2005

Southern Yarn
            NEWSLETTER                      OF        THE   D O W N         U N D E R          CLUB         OF     WINNIPEG              INC.

downundercalendar                         2 0 0 5

   Annual General Meeting
   Saturday November 26, 6:30 pm                        Memories
   (for 7:00 pm start)
  The Annual General Meeting is being held on
  Saturday November 26, with a 7:00 pm start
                                                        of Aussie
  time. The location is the Scandinavian Club,
  764 Erin, on the second floor, where we have          Rules
  met in the past. Come along for the meeting,
  and we will have some impromptu
  entertainment lined up following the AGM.
  Please come along and support your Club.                      passing note in Jenny’s

   Down Under Christmas Party
                                                        A       Southern Yarn editorial
                                                                (Oct 2005) that the Syd-
                                                        ney Swans won the AFL Grand
   Sunday December 18                                   Final was particularly nostalgic
  The Down Under Christmas Party will be held           for me. Growing up in Mel-
  on the afternoon of Sunday, December 18,              bourne, I was steeped in the only
  once again on the second floor of the                 true-blue Aussie footy game.
  Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin. Please                 Why anyone would want to follow
  remember that there will be a pot luck supper         or barrack for an imported game
  that day, so remember to bring along your             like soccer or rugby is beyond
  delicious contribution. We have been told that        my comprehension.
  Santa will there in all his glory, so please call         But I digress.
  Peter Munn by Dec. 4th with names and ages                We lived in Middle
  of kids attending. (237-1805, or                      Park, an enclave not                                             Gordon plying his trade c.1933.                          far from South Mel-
                                                        bourne, home of the                                        or seats – where at half time a bottle of
                                                        original “Swans”, who                                  Fosters and a “sav and a roll” or meat pie
Welcome New Members                                     were probably so named                              with tomato sauce running down one’s arms
Grant and Suzie Leader, Australia                       because the nearby Albert Park contained a          made for a great afternoon.
Colin & Annette Taylor and daughters Stacie             rather large lake fed by the pristine waters of         In 1982 the Swans were relocated to Syd-
and Kristie, Australia                                  the Yarra River and a great setting for swans.      ney in an effort to educate the locals in the
                                                        As kids, some of us learned basic yachting          finer points of the great Australian game.
                                                        skills on that lake and often caught yabbies        Seems that Sydney-siders are slow learners
                                                        on a piece of string with a lump of meat tied       though, as the club did not prosper as it had
                                                        to the end. I attribute my longevity to eating      in Melbourne. Three years ago they adopted
                                                        such wholesome crustaceans!                         a more aggressive motto and culture, becom-
                                                            Albert Park is now the site of the first For-   ing known also as the ‘Bloods’, presumably
                                                        mula One race each season. (SorryAdelaide!)         more in keeping with their new environ-
                                                            Times were tough in those days, and to          ment!
                                                        earn a few extra bob, I would sell football             This year’s final, as always, was played at
                                                        records (programs) at both South Melbourne          the Melbourne Cricket Ground. The crowd of
                                                        and St Kilda grounds. The photo of me in            close to 92,000 was below average due to ren-
         the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                        action was taken by one of those ubiquitous         ovations being made for the upcoming Com-
                   Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                        street photographers around 1933, the last          monwealth Games. Final score: Sydney
         Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                        time South won the Premiership.                     Swans 8.10 (58) – West Coast Eagles 7.12
                   telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                            Later in myyouth I became a South ‘mem-         (54).
                                                        ber’ for the princely annual fee of about half a          And that’s why the VFL is now the AFL!
                                                        guinea (10/6 on the old system). This enti-
                                                        tled one admission to the ‘outer’ – no stands            Gordon Keatch
                                                           elcome to fall. The weather has

    yours                                       W          been great over the last month or
                                                           so and every day without snow is a
                                                day closer to spring.
                                                                                                                                   Snow fencing:
                                                                                                                                   Weet-Bix Kids
              Jenny Gates                            With 2005 being “The Year of the Veter-                                       members Eliza
         ovember 7 will                         an”, I would like to take a moment to reflect

                                                                                                                                   and Tannis
         always have a                          upon all the sacrifices that have been made                                        Hydesmith play
         special place in                       for the freedom we enjoy today – and say a                                         in the first ‘real’
my heart. The anniver-                          very sincere THANK YOU to all who served                                           snowfall of the
sary of my arrival as a                         for us in the past, as well as the current                                         season.
permanent resident in Winnipeg is quite         time.
the occasion for me, and marking my 11th             October 31 is the end of the club’s finan-
year this year gave me pause to reflect on      cial year, so as we take time to look back
how much I love this place.                     upon the last year, it is your turn to come
      This year we celebrated with choco-       out to the Annual General Meeting                 Jason and I loved having Nat stay at our
late cake from one of those great Winnipeg      and get updated on the club and                   house and catch up on the last year or so
traditions – Baked Expectations, one of the     its activities. The AGM is also                   since she has moved back to the Gold Coast
first places I visited when I arrived here.     the place to be heard if you                      in Australia. Her spirits were high, despite
Mmm mmm, delicious!                                                                               Air Canada “misplacing” her luggage for a
    Opportunity, good fortune and the per-       president’s                                      couple of days. Nat even made a surprise
vading sense of community are three
things that continue to endear this city to
                                                     report Lynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                  appearance at our last board meeting, and
                                                                                                  joined the group for a great meal at the
me. Along with the relatively easy access                                                         Round Table for the formal dinner.
to arts and cultural events, the changing       would like to make any                                Speaking of which, thanks again to
seasons, and the comparative distance           comments or suggestions about club policy         Peter Munn for organizing a very successful
from one end of this city to the other          and upcoming events. Nominations for all          formal dinner. For those of you who haven’t
(think crossing Sydney, folks), there’s a lot   Board positions will be taken from the floor      been to the Round Table, I highly recom-
to enjoy and appreciate.                        at the AGM, or you can contact Gordon             mend the mushrooms as a side for your
    As with many people who adopt new           Keatch (832-4405) to put your name forward        next meal.
countries as their own, in the beginning        for any position.                                     I look forward to seeing you all at the
there were plenty of challenges and                 Natalia Hupalo, a former club member,         AGM on November 26 at the Scandinavian
moments when I wondered if it was all           graced Winnipeg for 3 weeks in October.           Club.
worth it and if I would make it through to
the end. But I’ve never doubted that this
was the right move for me, and it will be
interesting to see what the next 11 years
    How about you? Do you still revel in
your being in Winnipeg? What does it
mean to you to be part of this city and
province? What is your favourite tradition?
Let me know and we’ll run a few com-
ments in the Yarn. Or better still, send a
picture of you enjoying whatever this city
has to offer that makes you especially
pleased to be here. Will run as many as we
can. Be sure to include a caption. Prints

                                                                                Pie in the sky?
and tifs/jpgs welcome.
    In the meanwhile, enjoy this issue of
The Southern Yarn. Lots of news from back

                                                                         Get one on your plate!
home, some great articles from Gordon
and my brother, Steve, and a hello from
the Hetheringtons. As always, if you have
anything you would like to include in the
Yarn, feel free to send it along to the Club
mailing address.
    Enjoy the snow, folks. I know I will.        Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                            390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                              ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                    hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                   November 2005
all things social in the club

What happened ...
    Saturday October 22,
    Formal Dinner, Round Table
The annual Down Under Club Formal Dinner
was held again this year at the Round Table
Restaurant on Pembina Hwy. There were 28
people in attendance for a pleasant evening
of dining and friendly repartee. A good time
was had by all, evidenced by the noise com-
ing from the conversation around the tables.
The food was good, and who has ever had a
bad glass of wine?! We caught up with some
members we don’t have the opportunity to
see all the time, and it was nice to visit with
them. Hope to see you all again at next year’s

What’s ahead ...
    Saturday, November 26
    Annual General Meeting,                       The snow has arrived! Winter has returned to Manitoba after an extended autumn with some terrific warm
    6:30 pm (for 7:00 pm start)                   weather. Terry and Mick (standing, inset) of Kiwi Installations managed to finish up this new set of cedar
                                                  front steps for the Hydesmiths, just as the first snowflakes fell. Remember to use the services of the
The Annual General Meeting is being held
                                                  wide range of skilled club members. It’s the right thing to do, and the smart thing to do.
on Saturday November 26, with a 7:00 pm
start time. The location is the Scandinavian
Club, 764 Erin, on the second floor, where we
have met in the past. Come along for the
meeting, and we will have some impromptu
                                                     Annual General Meeting
entertainment lined up following the AGM.
Please come along and support your Club.             Saturday, November 26th, 6:30 pm
                                                     Notice is hereby given that the Annual Gernal Meeting of
    Sunday December 18,                              members of the Down Under Club of Winnipeg Inc. will be
    Down Under Christmas Party                       held on Saturday, November 26th, 2005, at the Scandinavian
The Down Under Christmas Party will be               Club at 764 Erin Street, Winnipeg, MB.
held on the afternoon of Sunday, December
18, once again on the second floor of the            Agenda
Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin. Please                Roll Call - Secretary’s Report - Minutes of Previous Meeting
remember that there will be a pot luck sup-          President’s Report - Financial Report - Committee Reports
per that day, so remember to bring along             Election of Officers - Other Business - Close of AGM
your delicious contribution. We have been
told that Santa will there in all his glory, so      Election
please call Peter Munn (details in RSVP,             All club members in good standing are eligible to put their names forward
below) by Dec. 4th and let us know the               for any position on the Board:
names and ages of the kids attending.                    President - Vice President - Treasurer - Secretary - Membership - Social
                                                         Organizer - Media/Communications

                                                     Other non-board positions include Weet-Bix Kids Club Coordinator. If anyone
Advertise in The Southern Yarn                       is interested and willing to take on any of these positions, please contact
  Contact Jenny (831-6527,                           Gordon Keetch at 832-4405 or attend the meeting and let your name stand. for rates
  and details.

                                                  Calling all Fitness Fans
                                                  The Joe Doupe Centre at the U of M is open to anyone
                                                  who wants to get fit. In addition to a weight room, gym,
                                                  track and stretching area, there are fitness class and a
                        Remember to RSVP to       variety of instructional programs, including pilates,
                       Peter Munn 237-1805 or     kickboxing, capoeira and hip hop dance. CPR courses
              are also offered and space is available for rent. For more
                                                  information, including membership prices, visit their
                                                  website at

November 2005                                                                                • The Southern Yarn 3
from our Aussie contributors
                                                     Denmark yesterday, with the royal couple
                                                     welcoming a healthy baby son. Crown Prince
                                                     Frederik was by his wife’s side during the
                                 The underpants      five-hour labour, which took place in a deliv-
                                 containing bird     ery suite set aside for the royal couple and
                                 eggs intercept-     guarded by palace security staff. “It is a
                                 ed by Customs       tremendous joy,” said a visibly moved and
                                 last year. Photo:   happy Frederik.
                                 Australian Cus-
                                 toms Service.
                                                                                                            New style … the barbecue Jeppe Utzon designed
                                                                                                            for Electrolux. Photo: SMH

Can’t have been comfy!
[October 14, 2005, SMH] A Sydney man con-                                                                   With a slot for the beers
victed of trying to smuggle 23 cockatoo and                                                                 [October 24, 2005, SMH] Joern Utzon
lorikeet eggs out of Australia in his under-                                                                designed the Sydney Opera House, and now
wear has been jailed for two years. Keith                                                                   his grandson has redesigned another Aus-
Lionel Miller was caught at Sydney Airport                                                                  tralian icon – the barbecue. Jeppe Utzon was
on November 12 last year with 23 bird eggs                                                                  approached by the Swedish appliance firm
hidden under his clothing as he prepared to                                                                 Electrolux and asked to design a barbecue:
fly to Zurich in Switzerland. Customs offi-          Last Anzac passes ... William Evan Allan. Photo: AP.   The outcome is a sleek silver Scandinavian-
cers frisked the 51-year-old and discovered                                                                 looking item that will retail for $8,000: “It
the eggs hidden in his underpants.                   Farewell and thank you!                                seems Australia is pretty good at designing
                                                     [October 18, 2005, SMH] When William Evan              nice houses ... [but] with ugly barbecues ...”
                                                     Allan died in Melbourne at age 106, he sev-            The key features are that it turns into a table
                                                     ered Australia’s living link with World War I          when not in use, and has a rim for holding
                                                     and the founding of the Australian Navy.               beers – Jeppe noticed that people stood with
                                                     Allan joined the Light Cruiser HMAS                    their beers in hand at his only Aussie barbe-
                                                     Encounter as a Ship’s Boy in March 1914, five          cue.
                                                     months before war started. A founding mem-
                                                     ber of the Royal Australian Navy, to all               Beauty bottler, mate
                                                     intents and purposes he was our last living            [October 25, 2005, SMH] Tooheys New is
                                                     link with the birth of this great maritime             going “in to bat for mates everywhere” and
                                                     force. His passing closes the door once and            demand the afternoon off for every Aus-
The Wollemi Pine. Picture: Jaime Plaza, Botanic      for all on that “Great War”, which, with its 15        tralian on Melbourne Cup day. Every Aus-
Gardens Trust.                                       million death toll, was meant to be “the war           tralian, that is, except its own workers. The
                                                     to end all wars”.                                      official sponsor of the Cup has launched a
Jurassic plant under the hammer                                                                             colourful campaign to make Cup afternoon a
[October 14, 2005, NZ Herald] The Wollemi                                                                   national holiday and asked Australians to
Pine, a Jurassic-age plant that was believed                                                                sign its website petition to put to Federal
extinct until a hiker stumbled across it near                                                               Parliament: “All Australians deserve the
Sydney 11 years ago, is being made to pay its                                                               afternoon off for such a momentous occasion
way. To ensure its survival, Australian con-                                                                as the Melbourne Cup.” Hopefully, that will
servationists have propagated it and plan to                                                                extend to ex-pat Aussies as well!
auction the next generation at Sotheby’s in
an attempt to fund future conservation                                                                      Clothes are optional!
efforts. The pines are expected to fetch from        Inaugurating the $109-a-pop Skywalk tour at Syd-       [October 28, 2005, SMH] Don’t look now, but
£640 a piece to £22,000 for a collection of          ney Tower yesterday were the Minister for Tourism,     Sydney could get a new nudist beach just in
trees. Next year they will be available as pot       Sandra Nori, and the mountaineer and adventurer        time for summer. Naturists in Warringah are
plants.                                              Peter Hillary. Photo: Peter Morris.                    searching for a location for the area’s first
                                                                                                            nudist beach after council decided Curl Curl
Royal male delivery ...                              Take a tour to the top of the town                     and Dee Why were too popular to accommo-
Denmark’s Crown Prince                               [October 18, 2005, SMH] At $1.21 a minute, it          date nude bathers. Initial reactions from
Frederik shows the                                   is one of the most expensive attractions Syd-          locals showed about half of residents sup-
approximate length of                                ney has to offer. But the owners of the $6             ported the creation of nude bathing areas in
his new son. Photo:                                  million Skywalk believe the view is worth it.          Warringah. Sydney’s four official nudist
AP/Jens Dige.]                                       From today, tourists will be able to take an           beaches are: Cobblers Beach, Mosman;
                                                     open-air stroll 260 metres up on a glass-bot-          Obelisk Beach, Mosman; Werrong Beach,
One heir, two                                        tomed platform circling Sydney Tower. For a            Royal National Park; and Lady Jane Beach,
countries                                            mere $109, you can see to the Blue Moun-               Watsons Bay. Little Congwong Beach at La
[October 16, 2005,                                   tains, out into the ocean, north to Ku-ring-gai        Perouse is also popular with nude bathers.
Sun-Herald] Crown                                    National Park and south to the Royal Nation-
Princess Mary delivered the future king of           al Park.

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                               November 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                        Auckland scientist scoops
                                                        international award
                                                        [October 19, 2005, NZ Herald] Auckland Uni-
Marmite kitty                                           versity neurobiologist, Dr Johanna Mont-
[October 14, 2005, NZ Herald] Napier’s palm             gomery, 33, has won a prestigious
tree-dwelling cat has been coaxed down                  international award for her work, and is the
with a marmite sandwich. The stubborn                   first southern hemisphere scientist to be
moggy had been stuck up the tree in subur-              awarded an Eppendorf and Science Prize for
                                                                                                            Tired of stickers on your fruit? Here’s a twist. If
ban Marewa for a week, and it scrambled                 Neurobiology. Montgomery, whose research
                                                                                                            they can mark mangoes eggs, why not tattoo
down a day before it was to be shot. Annoyed            examines how human brains are wired,
                                                                                                            tomatoes? [
residents had had enough of the cat’s howl-             almost didn’t enter the contest because she
ing, and a radio station put a $400 bounty on           didn’t think she had any chance of winning:         Can I get a tattoo on that?
its head. If it wasn’t down by midnight resi-           “The prize is also a big thing for New              [October 28, 2005, NZ Herald] The days of
dents were going to hand the cat’s life over to         Zealand neuroscience research.” And for             picking little stickers off fruit and vegies
the council. But Napier painter Jamie Green             Johanna, no doubt!                                  may soon be over. Supermarket owner Pro-
didn’t like that scenario, and got out of his                                                               gressive Enterprises is to test new laser tech-
sick bed to coax the cat down with the                  But not this week                                   nology to tattoo produce before Christmas.
unlikely bait of a marmite sandwich.                    [October 24, 2005, NZ Herald] Mt Taranaki is        This season’s stone fruit, due to hit the
                                                        “overdue” to erupt and researchers say that         shelves in about four weeks, would be the
                                                        when it does, it is likely to cover much of the     first to bear tattoos instead of sticky labels:
                                                        North Island in a blanket of ash and disrupt        “It’s non-intrusive, it’s not adding anything,
                                                        airports, power and water supplies. The vol-        it’s totally edible.” The technology uses a
                                                        cano has shown little or no sign of activity        laser to etch information into the very top
                                                        for 200 years, but new research suggests it         layer of the skin of a piece of fruit or a veg-
                                                        has erupted at least once every 90 years on         etable, visible because of the contrast with a
                                                        average for the past 9,000 years, with a major      paler layer below. Invented by a Canadian,
                                                        eruption every 500 years. The research indi-        the laser was tuned to ensure it affected only
                                                        cated the last major eruption was in 1655.          the pigment, even on an undulating surface.
                                                        Regular monitoring should give at least six
                                                        days and possibly up to a month’s warning of
                                                        an eruption.                                        New Zealand
                                                                                                            House in Lon-
                                                                    Winny?                                  don helps get
                                                                                                            the message
                                                        Can it!                                             out. Photo:
Flight attendants with Zambesi designer Elisabeth       [October       26,                                  NZ Herald
Findlay (centre) before the unveiling of the new uni-   2005, NZ Herald]
forms in Auckland. Photo: John Selkirk.                 Lock up the wine                                    Kiwis come home!
                                                        snobs – soon                                        [Nov 2, 2005, NZ Herald] An advertising
High-flying fashions                                    you’ll be able to                                   blitz and website to attract New Zealand
[October 18, 2005, SMH] A New Zealand                   crack open a                                        expatriates back home to fill labour and skill
merino wool wrap with three armholes is                 tinny of wine.                                      shortages is under way. The Labour Depart-
the latest weapon in the trans-Tasman turf              Australian com-                                     ment outlined the $850,000 campaign
war between New Zealand and Australia’s                 pany Barokes is bringing wine in a can to           which       includes      a     website     –
national air carriers. Air New Zealand, in col-         New Zealand, claiming it will deliver “premi- – and an advertising
laboration with New Zealand fashion compa-              um-quality wine” in packaging that will             blitz on New Zealand House in London as
nyZambesi, unveiled the distinctive garment             appeal to younger drinkers. The cans are            well as the London Underground. The cam-
in Auckland on Sunday night as part of the              250ml, compared with the standard 750ml             paign will also begin soon in Australia. The
airline’s first new uniform in 13 years. In a           bottle, will sell for $5.99 each, and “could        estimated 460,000 kiwis abroad was equiva-
palette of teal blue, schist grey and green-            have potential in bars or night clubs where         lent to 14 per cent of the population: “There
stone, the new uniform includes a variety of            people are wary of getting their drinks             is a consistent movement out of New Zealand
apparel with Maori designs and paua shell               spiked.” Canned wine will come in four vari-        of skilled New Zealanders. The international
inserts: “It’s modern, it’s comfortable, it             eties – a cabernet shiraz merlot, chardonnay        competition for talent is hotting up.”
reflects everything about the New Zealand               semillon, and bubbly versions of the above
culture – and it looks fantastic.”                      two.

                                                                                                            Decks, Sunrooms and

    Kiwi Installations                                               Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                         Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                      Free in-home/cottage estimates.

November 2005                                                                                    • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Down Under sport desks
                                                      pastor Russell Embling, who like most New
                                                      Zealanders confesses to being “a bit of a
                                                                                                        a huge drug wholesaling operation. With
                                                                                                        professional ethics and personal pride
                                                      rugby fan,” came up with the idea of showing      severely compromised, the lawyers start to
                                                      the national team’s Grand Slam tour test          turn on each other.
                                                      matches against Wales, Ireland, England and
                                                      Scotland on successive Sundays in Novem-              Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner
                                                      ber. About 160 rugby supporters turned up             November 21
                                                      at the Greerton Bible Church in Tauranga          An unknown shaman brings evil spirits into
                                                      yesterday morning to cheer on the All             a small nomadic Inuit community, upsetting
                                                      Blacks.                                           the balance. With the community still haunt-
                                                                                                        ed twenty years later, two brothers emerge to
                                                                                                        challenge the evil order: Amaqjuaq, the
                                                           down at                                      Strong One, and Atanarjuat, the Fast Runner.

Glen Boss and Makybe Diva after their historic win.
Picture: Steve Christo.
                                                      the flicks  Movies and Videos
                                                                                                            Crocodile Dundee
                                                                                                            November 23
                                                                                                        Sue Charlton, a reporter for Newsday, travels
Mare makes history in final race                                                                        Down Under to write a feature on Australia
[November 1, 2005, SMH] Makybe Diva                                                                     and its people. Sue heads into the red sands
became the first horse to win three Mel-                                                                and squalid swamps of Northern Territory
bourne Cups. Having achieved the near-                                                                  outback where she meets the infamous
impossible, the seven year-old mare will now                                                            Michael J. “Crocodile” “Mick” Dundee, who
retire from racing. Trained by Lee Freedman                                                             charms her with his swagger and grit. After
and ridden by Glen Boss, the great mare                                                                 saving her life, Mick and Sue travel to the
surged to the front at the 200-m mark and                                                               sophisticated urban jungles of Manhattan,
went on to beat On A Jeune and Xcellent:                                                                where the he finally meets his match. Star-
“This is Phar Lap the second – she’s unbe-                                                              ring: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John
lievable.” The victory earned Makybe Diva a           Upcoming Films                                    Meillon and Mark Blum
place among the greatest Australian race-             Check out the website for the movie “World’s
horses of all time. The win completed a               Fastest Indian” based on the true story of            Crocodile Dundee 2
remarkable comeback for Boss, who was                 Kiwi Burt Munro and his need for speed.               November 30
almost paralysed after he fell from a horse           Visit, watch          An evil drug baron rears his ugly head in
during a race in Macau in 2002.                       the trailer and get the details about this very   this sequel to the blockbuster Crocodile
                                                      exciting film.                                    Dundee, kidnapping Sue so that Dundee will
Kiwis open with a stunner                                                                               butt out of the Baron’s affairs. Using outback
[October 15, 2005, SMH] The Kiwis scored                                                                strategy, Dundee attempts to rescue his girl-
one of the biggest boilovers in the history                                                             friend. Reversing the procedure of the first
New Zealand rugby league with an amazing                                                                film, the story later takes the hero and hero-
38-28 win over Australia in a see-sawing                                                                ine from America back to Australia, making
opening Tri-Nations clash at Telstra Stadium                                                            Sue the fish out of water. Starring: Paul
on Saturday night. The visitors stormed out                                                             Hogan and Linda Kozlowski
of the gates to open up an 18-0 lead after as
many minutes before holding off a magnifi-                                                                  Innuvunga,
cent fightback from the home side to score            Coming up on APTN                                     I am Inuk, I am Alive
their first win over the Kangaroos in Aus-                                                                  November 24
tralia since 1991, and their first in Sydney             World Indigenous TV                            Hockey, hip hop, hunting and midnight Ski-
since 1959. In a heart-stopping finish to the            Thursdays at 11:30pm ET &                      Doo rides. Welcome to Inukjuak. It’s the
game, man of the match Clinton Toopi only                3am ET                                         final year of high school for eight teens at
sealed victory for the Kiwis when he com-             World Indigenous TV offers an open window         Innalik School in this remote town in north-
pleted a hat trick with four minutes remain-          into the varied cultures of the world’s First     ern Quebec. Through an initiative of the
ing, with the small band of New Zealand fans          Peoples.                                          National Film Board, these eight students
in the 28,255 crowd sent into wild celebra-                                                             have been selected to document this pivotal
tions.                                                   Street Legal, Season One                       year of their lives. The result of their collabo-
                                                         Wednesdays at 3am ET,                          ration is Inuuvunga, a vibrant and utterly
Rugby heaven                                             Thursdays at 3pm ET and 8pm                    contemporary view of life in Canada’s North.
[November 7, 2005, NZ Herald] The Greerton               ET, APTN                                       Seamless and startling, Inuuvunga paints a
Bible Church in Tauranga, New Zealand has             In this New Zealand drama, David and Joni’s       rich portrait of coming of age in an Inuit
given in to the inevitable, replacing its Sun-        law firm, Wyeth & Associates, is in trouble.      town and helps to dispel the myths of north-
day morning services with screenings of               The repo man is taking the furniture; the         ern isolation and desolation. Instead, we dis-
games by the rugby-mad nation’s beloved All           overdraft has run over its limit. The firm is     cover a place where hope and strength
Blacks: “A lot of people are going to watch the       under real pressure to accept all paying          overcome struggle.
All Black games on Sunday morning, so we              work – no matter how dirty. This forces them
figured if we can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Senior       to represent a crew of notorious criminals in

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                            November 2005
Finals Fever Just Too Much
    Stephen Gates                                  morning. Silly sheilas – no faith in them-           next week dodging flying kitchen utensils
                                                   selves, we agreed. This was gunna be a flog-         every time I asked her how she was.
       hey say that in the spring, a young         ging.                                                    For the final quarter, the girls again took

T      man’s thoughts turn to love. Well, in
       my part of the world it turns to FOOTY
FINALS. Yes, that modern gladiatorial con-
                                                       And the first quarter confirmed it. Up by
                                                   three goals with the girls not yet firing – no
                                                   contest really, they had it in the bag. Unfortu-
                                                                                                        to the court while Gilly positioned the cars
                                                                                                        for a quick getaway and I replenished the
                                                                                                        grog supply. With the girls in their non-scor-
test that pits two teams of fit young blokes       nately, someone forget to tell the opposition,       ing end from the second quarter, we were
against each other for the prize of prizes –       and by the end of the second quarter, we             getting frantic. But still we yelled, still we
the Grand Final Mug and the inevitable             were seven goals down. Our girls had                 cheered, still we prayed for a miracle. And
booze-up that follows, where grateful sup-         missed every goal that quarter and the               then Howlong scored and the groan from the
porters ply the victors with grog.                 windy conditions at that end of the court had        Burrum supporters was heard in Winnipeg.
     Now, football in the Antipodes has three      not helped.                                          Then we scored and the cheer they say was
codes – Rugby Union, Rugby League and                  Still, no problem – our girls were only          also heard there.
Australian Rules. Each area of the country         teasing, giving them a bit of false confidence           And so the game progressed until the
has a different code that is dominant, and         before showing who was Boss. As the team             last 5 minutes when a loose ball from How-
where I live, it is Australian Rules. Each         headed to the sheds for half time, Gilly and I       long landed safely in Kate’s hands. A few
small town generally fields a couple of sides      headed for the bar. With throats raw from            quick passes and the game was even again.
and the local recreation ground is where                                                                    How much more could a Koala bear?!
all the action happens on Saturdays in                                       Netball is a popular sport     Another quick bit of fancy footwork and
winter. However, only the boys can play                                      for many Aussie girls.         our girls scored again – WE HAD THE
footy, so the girls play netball (which is                                                                  LEAD.
similar to basketball). As netball only                                                                          When suddenly two things hap-
requires seven players compared to                                                                          pened. Firstly, the timekeeper came out
footy, which requires twenty, small towns                                                                   of the shed to alert the umpires that time
generally field more netball sides than                                                                     was nearly up. The second was that How-
footy.                                                                                                      long lined up to shoot a goal that would
     For many years my beautiful wife,                                                                      have made it even and forced the game
Kate, has played netball for our local club                                                                 into extra time. The Burrum supporters
in Burrumbuttock, NSW. As age and                                                                           held their breath and Gilly and I made
approaching retirement from the game                                                                        ready to race to the cars. Then the mira-
looms, she dropped from ‘A’ grade to ‘B’                                                                    cle that we had prayed for happened. The
grade two years ago. As well, my two                                                                        Howlong shooter missed. For the first
daughters, Anna and Nicci, have started                                                                     time in the entire game, she missed, the
to follow in their mother’s footsteps.             cheering and nerves on edge, we absolutely           whistle blew and we had won.
     Now, to put it bluntly, our local football    needed a drink. “Do you think they can pull              Oh the joy, oh the wonder of it all. Gilly
team is crap, pure and simple. I mean the          it off?” I questioned. “Stuffed if I know” was       and I hugged and we both thought, ‘Our mar-
buggers have won one game in four years.           Gilly’s reply.                                       riages are safe’. The whole of the Burrumbut-
On the other hand, the netball girls are bril-          Armed with the necessary refill, we             tock supporters were going ballistic – our
liant. So good, in fact, that both ‘A’ and ‘B’     returned to the court, as did the players.           town’s pride was intact. And, as the loving
grades reached the finals this year. So, the       ‘They need a bloody good quarter this time’,         husbands that we were (despite earlier cow-
town’s sporting hopes rested fairly on their       we both silently thought. Alas, all they man-        ardly thoughts), we went onto the court to
shoulders.                                         aged to do was reduce the deficit – three-           congratulate our wives. As I got through the
     By the time that all-important Grand          quarter time and it was even.                        throng to reach Kate and give her a hug
Final day rolled around, the air was so heavy           During the break the girls seemed calm          (she’s more huggable than Gilly, that’s for
with excitement you could cut it with a knife.     and collected, whereas Gilly and I were              sure), all she did was burst into tears. AND I
The town dutifully covered their cars in red       panic-stricken. For the last week, we had            THOUGHT I WAS STRESSED! Needless to
and white streamers and headed off (would          both seen our gentle better halves turn into         say, that night at the local pub was a big one
have been a great time to rob the place) to        complete strangers. Both girls wanted to fin-        and the girls (including Kate) were the toast
where the finals would be played. There we         ish the season on a high note and the weight         of the town.
all stood and waited for the first contest – the   of community expectation on the whole                    It took me 48 hours to get over the hang-
‘B’ grade grand final, where Burrumbuttock         team caused an outbreak of unusual behav-            over, and 10 days to recover from the stress
(including Kate) would line up against old         iours.                                               – thank goodness finals come but once a
foe Howlong.                                            Now, we both love our wives and the sit-        year. Oh, and by the way, ‘A’ grade won as
     Now we had beaten Howlong three times         uation at three-quarter time demanded some           well. They were up by 10 goals in the first
in the season (including a preliminary             serious action. So we did what any devoted           quarter, and won by 2 in a cliffhanger final
final), so this was going to be a walk in the      husband in our position would have done –            quarter.
park. While waiting for the game to start, I       we made plans to move out for a week. Yep,               Anyway, I gotta go. The Sydney Swans
stood with my mate, Gilly, whose wife also         that’s right, we were going to shoot through.        and the West Coast Eagles are about to face
played ‘B’ grade, and compared notes on            And don’t give me that “for better or worse”         off in the AFL Grand Final. And as always,
whose wife had been more nervous that              crap. I mean, I wasn’t going to spend the            may the best birds win.

November 2005                                                                                • The Southern Yarn 7

from our Aussie contributors
                                                  down under humour, courtesy Ed and Elaine Clairmont

Hetherington Holler
Since Amélie’s birth, things have been pret-
ty good here albeit very busy. We have start-
ed to settle into a routine. Amélie was
diagnosed with renal reflux, duplex ureta
system and a ureta seal at 8 weeks of age.                                                                                                    DO
As a result (and against our ideals) she has
been on antibiotics every day since that
time. We hope she will soon grow out of the
renal reflux but it could take a number of
years.                                                                                                                                        Win
    All in all, we are very lucky to have a                                                                                                   Man
beautiful baby girl who seems to be happy
and content – and growing up very fast. She           Medical inTerms
has had a trip to Brisbane and to New                 Artery - The study of paintings
Zealand already. At 4 months she is just              Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
starting to roll and loves sitting and being          Barium - What doctors do when patients die
                             held in the stand-       Benign - What you be, after you be eight            Board of Directors
                             ing position. She        Caesarean - Section A neighbourhood in Rome         President:
                              started swim-           Catscan - Searching for Kitty                       Lynley Wesselingh
                              ming lessons 3          Cauterize - Made eye contact with her               Vice President:
                                                                                                          Terry Roberts
                               weeks ago and          Colic - A sheep dog
                               just loves the         Coma - A punctuation mark                           Secretary:
                                                                                                          Judy Powell
                               water. We bath         Dilate - To live long
                                her in a small        Enema - Not a friend                                Jenny Gates
bath on a frame in her room and she                   Fester - Quicker than someone else
splashes so much that we have got to the              Fibula - A small lie                                Peter Debenham
stage that we think she will have to go into          Impotent - Distinguished, well known                Social Coordinator:
the big bath soon – the carpet just cannot            Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work                  Peter Munn
stand up to too much more water.                      Medical Staff - A Doctor’s cane                     Membership:
    Matt is fairly busy at work. He has been          Morbid - A higher offer                             Lucia Barron
night flying the last week or so. Other than          Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
that he has been able to stay close to home           Node - I knew it                                    The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
which has been fantastic. He is still not             Outpatient - A person who has fainted               get it write.
surfing nearly as much as he would like,              Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis                     Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
but a lot more than the 3 years he was in             Post Operative - A letter carrier         
Winnipeg. He has not played soccer since              Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery    
leaving Winnipeg either (even though our              Rectum - Nearly killed him                          Layout and design:
State’s Soccer Headquarters is literally at           Secretion - Hiding something                        hydesmith communications
the end of our street).                               Seizure - Roman emperor                   
    Alicia is due to go back to work in early         Terminal Illness -
January next year. At this stage, given                Getting sick at the airport                        The electronic version of this
Amelie’s health (and Alicia’s) we think that          Tablet - A small table                              newsletter typically contains a
she might delay starting work again until             Tumour - One plus one more                          few extra pages of content (in
the middle of next year. The maternity leave          Urine - Opposite of you’re out                      colour!), and can be downloaded
isn’t quite as good as it is in Canada (only                                                              in PDF format from the website.
14 weeks paid leave) but better than a kick                                                               A big thank you to all of our
in the head so we cant complain.
    That brings you all up to date with our
goings on and this finds you all safe and
                                                                                                          contributors within the club,
                                                                                                          from overseas and information
well and enjoying some outdoor time before         “I can’t afford my gasoline” (turn on the sound)
the deep freeze! (yes we do miss Winnipeg                                       THE DOWN UNDER
– kind of – mostly we just miss all of you).       so, you think you’ve got a lousy job …                 CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC.
Please pass this e-mail on to anyone you                             Station Main, PO Box 1655,
think we may have forgotten (our apologies         one of Australia’s most beloved comic strips           Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
to those who we have) and take care.                                        1-204-832-4405 email:
                                                   if you want to bet on Aussie horseracing     
   Lots of love,                                                     
   Matt, Alicia & Amélie (Hetherington)            try this UP THE WALL game (read “How to Play” first)

8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                               November 2005
when it just won’t fit

Skippy on the hop … some
say a valued kangaroo
industry leads to responsi-
ble harvesting; others say
killing kangaroos makes us
no better than Japanese
whale hunters.
Photo: Dallas Kilponen.

Harvesting the top paddock
                                                [October 21, 2005, SMH] By eating kanga-           tourism and to embrace the non-consump-
                                                roos, are we saving them or destroying             tive use of our betrayed, maligned and mis-
                                                them? Daniel Lewis looks into an iconic            understood kangaroos.”
                                                issue.                                                 One chapter links the killing of kanga-
                                                    Anyone who watched Skippy would                roos with violence among people in rural
                                                remember Tony Bonner, the actor who played         communities, while in the foreword the ethi-
                                                the helicopter pilot, Jerry King.                  cist Peter Singer says: “One day Australians
                                                    It is nearly 40 years since the first of the   will look back on what we are doing to
                                                91 Skippy episodes hit Australian television       wildlife in horror, as we now look back at
                                                (the series also became a worldwide suc-           what the first Europeans to land in Australia
                                                cess), but Bonner is still passionate about        did to the Aboriginal people who were living
                                                kangaroos and last week helped launch the          here.
                                                book Kangaroos: Myths and Realities. It is             “We need a Mabo decision for Australia’s
                                                the third such book published by the Aus-          wild animals, a legal recognition of their
                                                tralian Wildlife Protection Council with the       special status as original residents of Aus-
                                                aim of stopping the annual government-             tralia.”
                                                sanctioned “cruel murder” of millions of               The book is the latest missile to be fired
                                                kangaroos that it claims is putting kanga-         in the war between those who see the kanga-
                                                roos in danger of extinction.                      roo industry as one of Australia’s greatest
                                                    The council’s president, Maryland Wil-         sins and those who see it one of the coun-
                                                son, says in the book that while Australia         try’s greatest goods.
                                                condemns the likes of Japan for whale hunt-            It follows the recent release of a five-year
                                                ing, “Australians support the largest and          plan for the kangaroo industry that aims to
                                                most cruel slaughter of wildlife on earth. We      greatly increase our consumption of kanga-
                                                cannot see our own hypocrisy when we cru-          roos by overcoming what the industry calls
                                                elly slaughter kangaroos and bash their            the “Skippy syndrome” - a reluctance to eat
                                                joeys to death.                                    the national icon.
                                                    “A long and sustained program of misin-            While Australians aren’t marching in the
                                                formation within Australia has convinced an        streets to demand an end to the shooting of
                                                apathetic and ill-informed community that          millions of kangaroos each year, neither are
                                                kangaroos are in plague proportions                they stampeding the local butcher’s to buy
                                                throughout the country. It is time to max-         kangaroo meat.
                                                imise the limitless potential of wildlife              The majority of kangaroo meat is turned

9 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                   Online supplement
into pet food and most of what is for human        spruiking the idea of eating kangaroo meat          try”.
consumption is exported.                           as a means of saving Australia’s ecosystems.            Croft wrote in the book: “My vision is
     But, since last year, the industry has paid       The industry’s website opens with               that at the next citizenship ceremony, flag-
a levy of 3.5 cents per animal, matched dol-       quotes from Flannery, condemning the way            raising event, singing of the national
lar-for-dollar by government, which is pro-        Australians have imposed European animals           anthem, prancing on the national (or inter-
ducing a pool of more than $200,000 a year         on the fragile landscape and extolling the          national) stage, opening of Parliament or
to spend on research and development.              harvest of native animals as having “the            other celebration of being Australian, we are
     Two of the industry’s priorities are get-     potential to deliver enormous environmental         moved to shout ‘I am kangaroo’. If we did this
ting out information about its “responsible        benefits”.                                          we would be celebrating diversity, the suc-
conduct” and “diversifying markets for                 Archer, Flannery’s former boss at the           cessful occupation of most of Australia’s ter-
human consumption”.                                Australian Museum and now professor of              restrial ecosystems, resilience to our
     In the past the take of kangaroos has         science at the University of NSW, has started       climatic extremes, athleticism, careful con-
been well below the quotas set by conserva-        the FATE (Future of Australia’s Threatened          servation of energy and water needs, and
tion agencies, but the strategic plan says this    Ecosystems) program, which promotes kan-            individualism in a rich social life.”
is about to change: “The industry has a long-      garoo harvesting. If farmers can earn a                 For more details go to
term average annual growth rate in take of 7       decent return on kangaroo, Archer argues,           and
per cent. This coupled with population             they will see the animal as a resource rather
declines as a result of the ongoing drought        than a pest. And by farming kangaroos               Obscenity, or not
since 2003 has led to the situation where the      instead of sheep or cattle, they will help save     This is the edited text of letters between a
industry is highly likely to take the entire       ecosystems.                                         British woman, Eleanor Boyd, and the Kanga-
annual quota through the next few years.”              Australians, he says, need to eat Skippy        roo Industries Association of Australia.
     In some areas of NSW this has already         to help save Skippy.
happened for the first time, says John Kelly,          David Croft also works for the University           Sirs,
the executive officer of the Kangaroo Indus-       of NSW, at its Arid Zone Research Station           There is a beautiful advertisement for Aus-
tries Association of Australia, and prices are     near Broken Hill. He contributed a chapter to       tralian tourism featuring the silhouette of a
good. One of the strategic plan’s aims is to       the new book and also spoke at its launch.          kangaroo against a blue, blue sea. It captures
ensure supply by getting access to all of east-        Croft says the argument that eating kan-        the imagination and the heart. It makes you
ern NSW - which is off limits to licensed          garoo is better for the landscape is “complete      want to visit Australia and it is only when you
hunters.                                           bunkum”.                                            know that this beautiful creature is being
     Kelly says research has shown that more                                                           slaughtered mercilessly, and its babies left to
than 50 per cent of Australians have tried                                                             die, that you say to yourself, no I can’t, not this
kangaroo and he believes the proportion                                                                year, not until this stops …
who agree kangaroos should be harvested                                                                    Very few people know that kangaroos are
has grown from about 75 per cent 10 years                                                              slaughtered for their meat and their skins. It
ago to 85 per cent.                                                                                    is obscene. There must be a better way for
     We are, he says, a “nation maturing to                                                            people to earn a living than to slaughter
the idea” of eating our national symbol.                                                               these harmless, beautiful and iconic crea-
     As the plan points out, there is plenty of                                                        tures. They are your national emblem, are
room for growth in consumption. Even if all                                                            they not? Please change this awful situation.
the kangaroos that could be taken were                                                                 Please go in for another way of life…
taken and the meat was sold domestically,                                                                  Eleanor G. Boyd,
sales would represent only about 4.5 per cent                                                              United Kingdom
of the domestic red meat market.
     The industry’s great task is simply justi-                                                            Dear Eleanor,
fying its existence in the face of constant                                                                Kangaroos are indeed beautiful, unique
criticism.                                                                                             and special animals. I love them greatly. You
     Kelly is yet to read the latest anti-indus-       The industry, he says, is controlled by         may find such a statement an oxymoron, but
try book, but says the previous one was “a         graziers who do not see kangaroo as an              perhaps you can accept that if farmers love
litany of lies, misrepresentations, vitriol and    alternative but as vermin and a “competing          their cattle or sheep, why therefore can’t kan-
violence”.                                         red meat”.                                          garoo processors love kangaroos? I love kan-
     His strategic plan says: “[The kangaroo           “The kangaroo industry is in no way             garoos partially because they are the
industry] has been demonstrated via several        influencing     landscape     management”           animals which belong in our land, which are
intensive and independent investigations to        because farmers want to get rid of every kan-       adapted to our land and to which our land is
operate humanely and sustainably.”                 garoo before they “touch a single sheep”.           adapted. Cattle, sheep, pigs, goats etc don’t
     Options to achieve growth range from              Kangaroo is mostly being processed into         belong here … Why then does it not make
working harder on the diet industry and doc-       dog food or sausages for Russians, and Croft        enormous environmental wisdom for us to
tors about the health benefits of kangaroo         says farmers “simply want to turn the kanga-        produce our food from the animals which do
meat, to “an aggressive attempt to capitalise      roos into the woodchip of the Australian            belong here? The environmental manage-
on the perceived environmental benefits of         mammal fauna”.                                      ment community, Australia’s most eminent
the industry”.                                         The kangaroo, he argues, “authenticates         ecologists and the bulk of the Australian
     What has undoubtedly helped win over          the whole experience of being Australian”           community support the kangaroo industry
Australians, Kelly says, is prominent scien-       and the animals should be visible on every          on exactly this premise.
tists such as Mike Archer and Tim Flannery         roadside, “untroubled by a barbaric indus-              It may well be difficult for you to under-

Online supplement                                                                           • The Southern Yarn 10
               The                                                                                                                 December 2005

Southern Yarn
            NEWSLETTER                      OF        THE   D O W N         U N D E R         CLUB         OF    WINNIPEG               INC.

downundercalendar Christmas around the world
                                          2 0 0 5
  DECEMBER                                                                                                                            Santa delivers gifts to
   Christmas Party,                                             s we prepare to celebrate Christmas
   Sunday December 18
  The Down Under Christmas Party will be held
  in the afternoon on the second floor of the
                                                        A       here in snow-covered Manitoba and
                                                                incorporate the traditions and
                                                        delights from down under into the mix, here
                                                                                                                                       the most interesting
                                                                                                                                          places. Photo: AP

  Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin. Please                 is what other countries do to celebrate this
  remember that there will be a pot luck supper         joyous time of year...
  that day, so bring along your delicious                    Belgium – Santa Claus in Belgium is
  contribution – enough for your group and a            called de Kerstman or le Père Noël and he
  bit extra for guests. We have been told that          does come around on Christmas day to bring
  Santa will there in all his glory, so please call     children presents. Christmas breakfast is a
  early and let us know whom we can expect.             special sweet bread called ‘cougnou’ or ‘coug-
  The doors are open at 3:00 pm, and Santa              nolle’.
  will arrive at 4:00 pm. The potluck dinner will            Brazil – Father Christmas is called Papai
  follow at approximately 5:00 pm.                      Noel. For those who have enough money, a
  JANUARY                                               special Christmas meal will be chicken,
   Australia Day/Waitangi Day,                          turkey, ham, rice, salad, pork, fresh and dried
   January 27 or 28                                     fruits, often with beer. Poorer people will just
  Come on out for this great celebration of             have chicken and rice.                             it is customary to hang edible things on the
  these special days of our countries.                       Finland – Finnish people believe that         tree, as well as glass balls, candles (real or
  Combined with this event is the GREAT MEAT            Father Christmas (Santa Claus) lives in the        electrical), and sparklers.
  PIE BAKE-OFF. Following the success of last           north part of Finland called Kor-                          Latvia – Latvians believe that Father
  year’s pavlova event, you will be asked to            vatunturi, north of the Arctic Cir-                         Christmas brings presents on each of
  bring along your best meat pie to win                 cle. On Christmas Eve, people eat                            the 12 days of Christmas starting on
  fabulous prizes – and earn the respect and            rice porridge and plum fruit juice                           Christmas Eve. It was in Latvia that
  admiration of your peers, and especially the          in the morning, then decorate a                              the first Christmas tree was decorat-
  judges. Rules are simple – meat must be the           spruce tree in the home.                                      ed. The special Latvian Christmas
  main ingredient, and the pie must be fully                 France – Everyone has a                                  Day meal is cooked brown peas
  enclosed by crust. So get cooking, and join           Christmas tree, some-                                        with bacon (pork) sauce, small pies,
  us in late January. Date will be confirmed in         times decorated in                                        cabbage and sausage.
  next newsletter, or call Peter at 237-1805.           the old way with                                                Portugal – Father Christmas
                                                        red ribbons                                                    brings presents to children on
Welcome (back?) 2006 Executive                          and      real                                                   Christmas Eve and leaves them
Everything old is new again! The following              white wax                                                         under the Christmas tree or in
positions were decided at the AGM Novem-                candles. Father Christmas is                                       shoes by the fireplace. A special
ber 26:                                                 called Père Noël. The Christ-                                      Christmas meal of salted dry
  President – Lynley Wesselingh                         mas meal is an important family gathering                         cod-fish with boiled potatoes is
  Vice President – Terry Roberts                        with good meat and the best wine.                  eaten at midnight on Christmas Eve.
  Social Coordinator – Peter Munn                            Germany – Many houses will have little             Russia – With the fall of Communism,
  Treasurer – Peter Debenham                            wooden frames holding electric candles in          Christmas is openly celebrated, often on Jan-
  Membership – Lucia Barron                             their windows, and coloured pictures of            uary 7. Special Christmas food includes
  Media/Communications – Jenny Gates                    paper or plastic, as well as an ‘Adventskranz’     cakes, pies and ‘meat dumplings’.
  Secretary – Judy Powell                               – a wreath of leaves with four candles. Father          Sweden – A special Christmas meal is
                                                        Christmas – ‘Der Weihnachtsmann’ – brings          eaten on Christmas Eve – ham (pork), her-
         the down under club of winnipeg inc.
                                                        presents in the late afternoon of Christmas        ring fish, and brown beans – and this is the
                   Station Main, PO Box 1655
                                                        Eve.                                               time when families give presents to each
         Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
                                                             Hungary – Santa Clause (Winter-grand-         other. Many people attend a church meeting
                   telephone: 1-204-832-4405
                                                        father) comes on December 6. Children clean        early on Christmas Day.
                                                        and put their shoes outside before they go to           A very, merry Christmas to you and your
                                                        sleep. Next day candies and/or small toys          families, both near and far, and a healthy and
                                                        appear in them in red bags. On December 24,        happy New Year for everyone everywhere!
                                                         erry Christmas and a Happy Holi-       their respective areas, without too many

    yours                                       M        day Season. I can’t believe that
                                                         another year has passed – time
                                                really does fly. December is one of the
                                                                                                questions arising.
                                                                                                    I am happy to announce that the elec-
                                                                                                tions went without a hitch, with everyone
              Jenny Gates                       busiest times of year for visiting and spend-   being re-elected to their positions. I would
        ther than the                           ing time with family and friends. I’m look-     like to welcome the Board back again for

O       quirky humour
        that graces pages
4 to 6 in this issue of
                                                ing forward to seeing everybody
                                                at the Christmas party on
                                                December 18th.
                                                                                                another year. The formal part of the evening
                                                                                                was followed by a games night and chitchat
                                                                                                with all those that attended. For all of those
The Southern Yarn, this                                                                         Santa helpers out there, please give Peter
month has been a gloomy one for news             president’s                                    Munn a call (237-1805) to help with the list
from down under.
    In Australia, there was a ghastly attack
                                                     reportLynley Wesselingh
                                                                                                of those who were naughty or nice this year.
                                                                                                We do not want to forget any of the little
on an 18-year-old woman that left her fight-                                                    ones who are going to be at the Christmas
ing for her life, James Hardie Industries           I would like to wish                        party. I have heard that Santa himself will
agreed to pay $1.7 billion to asbestos vic-     you and your families all the best this holi-   be making a visit during this very busy
tims, drug smuggler Nguyen Tuong Van            day season. Our last event was the AGM,         time for him, so we are very lucky. This
was hanged in Singapore, things are still       and a number of the regular people as well      event is great for young and the young at
not looking good for the Bali Nine (arrest-     as a couple of new faces attended. The          heart – see you there.
ed trying to export drugs), another man         Board members gave a report in each of
faces up to 20 years in jail if convicted of
drug trafficking charges in Italy, and racial
tension has been blamed for groups urging
violent attacks on each other, lifeguards
and a media crew at Sydney’s Cronulla
    New Zealand hasn’t fared much better.
Auckland University student Harmeet
Singh Sooden (from Canada) is being held
hostage in Iraq, a 14-year-old boy con-
fessed to dropping a concrete slab that
killed a driver on an Auckland motorway,
six people died and many more were
injured on NZ roads in one day, and a
Japanese student was kidnapped in
Palmerston North and held for three
    Generally, we don’t fill these pages
with the sad news, preferring to keep the
content light and engaging. To supplement
the Yarn, however, and to access all the
news from down under, DUCW members
                                                                                                  Peter Debenham Treasurer
are encouraged to visit various Aussie and      We’re baaaack…
                                                                                                  Judy Powell Secretary
Kiwi media web sites for news that doesn’t      Just so you know who we are, your executive
                                                                                                  Lynley Wesselingh President
quite make it to the monthly issues –           for the Down Under Club of Winnipeg were
                                                                                                  Terry Roberts Vice President
in particular, and               all re-elected to the same positions. We are,
                                                                                                  Lucia Barron Membership which are regular            from left to right:
                                                                                                  Jenny Gates Media/Communications

                                                                   Forget the turkey.
sources for our content.
                                                                                                  Peter Munn Social Coordinator
    Once again, this issue focuses on the
lighter stuff – the joy of Christmas around

                                                   Carve up a meat pie this Christmas!
the world, a few giggles, a delight for your
Christmas table, and the success of film-
making in New Zealand. There is also an
invite to attend the Sevens Rugby in LA in
February.Whatever your plans are for
Christmas and the New Year, may you be
surrounded by friends and family, stay safe
and be at peace!
                                                 Molly’s Meat Pies
                                                                            390 – Unit G, Provencher Blvd
                                                                              ph. 231-0221; fax: 231-5450
                                                                    hours: mon-fri 9:00-6:00, sat 9:00-5:30

2 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                  December 2005
                                                      January, Australia Day and
all things social in the club
                                                      Waitangi Day, January 27 or 28
                                                       Although the exact date is to be con-
What happened ...                                 firmed, there is no doubt this is going to one
    November, Annual General                      delicious night! Not only will we have the
    Meeting, Saturday November 26                 opportunity to celebrate two great days in
    If you didn’t make it out to the AGM this     our countries’ calendar, but once again we
year, you certainly missed a great night. It      will be invited to sample the culinary skills
was a perfect opportunity to catch up with        of our fellow members. Following on from
other members and see what everyone has           the success of the Pavlova Bake-off last year,
been up to.                                       it’s now time to see if anyone in our club is
    Judy and Charlie had photos of Chris and      an expert meat pie maker. So, dig out your
Tara Powell’s wedding – absolutely beautiful.     favourite recipe, try it out on your friends
Even spotted a few members of the DUCW            and family, and then bring it along for your
there! After some chitchat, we moved into the     fellow members to savour. If you just want to
meeting, with reports and the elections. And      eat pie, there’ll be plenty on offer!
after all the business was completed, out
came the chess and Uno and an assortment
of other games. Some folks opted just to sit
and continue the chitchat. A great night was
had by all!
                                                  Advertise                     in The Southern Yarn.
                                                  Contact Jenny (831-6527, info@downunder-                   JEANNETTE original Art -
                                         for all the rates. Send your submis-              unique beautiful prints
                                                  sion by email to or by
                                                  fax (957-5754) or mail to PO Box 1655, Stn Main,
                                                                                                               any size/format from her
                                                  Winnipeg MB R3C 2Z6.                                            paintings in private
                                                                                                             collections around the world.
                                                                                                                  Call (204) 989-3144

                                                        Season’s Greetings
                                                         Holiday time in Manitoba is filled with great
                                                         excitement and anticipation as people of different
What’s ahead ...                                         cultures celebrate according to their beliefs. As we
    December, Christmas Party,
    Sunday December 18                                   gather together, we observe many unique
    The Down Under Christmas Party will be               customs reflecting our rich cultural diversity. We
held in the afternoon on the second floor of             are a vibrant blend of many people from many
the Scandinavian Club at 764 Erin. There                 lands working together towards harmony,
will be a pot luck supper that day, so remem-            acceptance and prosperity for all our citizens.                        Gary Doer
ber to bring along your delicious contribu-                                                                                     Premier
tion — enough for your own group and a bit               In Manitoba we share our diversity and strong
extra for guests. We have been told that                 multicultural mosaic all year round with special
Santa will there in all his glory, so please             events and festivals. Discovering the customs and
call early and let us know whom we can                   heritage of others reminds us of our common ties
expect. The doors are open at 3:00 pm, and               and helps us learn more about each other and

Santa will arrive at 4:00 pm. The potluck din-           ourselves. Sharing our traditions with other
ner will follow at approximately 5:00 pm.
                                                         members of the community is an important part
                                                         of our lives, no matter what the season.

                        Remember to RSVP to
                                                         On behalf of the Manitoba government we thank
                       Peter Munn 237-1805 or            all citizens of all cultures for their ongoing                         Nancy Allan
                                                         contributions to our province. We sincerely hope                       Minister responsible
                                                                                                                                for Multiculturalism
                                                         that your holidays are joyful and the New Year
                                                         brings good health, good fortune and happiness
                                                         to you and your family.

December 2005                                                                                  • The Southern Yarn 3
                                                  Éditique docket 3593
                                                  5 X 5.5 - General Greeting
from our Aussie contributors
                                                      It’s getting hot in here...
                                                      [December 4, 2005, SMH] Sin-
                                                      terklaas, the Dutch Santa Claus,
                                                      made an appearance at Bondi
                                                      Beach. A tradition celebrated on
                                                      December 5 each year, Sinterk-
                                                      laas is accompanied by his
                                                      helper Zwarte Piet who puts
                                                      naughty children in his large
                                                      bag to teach them a lesson.

                                                      Sinterklaas, left, and Zwarte Piet
  Starting over ... INXS with new singer J.D.
                                                      arrive on Bondi Beach. Photo: AP
  Fortune at left. Photo: SMH

INXS: Switch
[November 26, 2005, SMH] For INXS, resur-
rection with a new singer could have provid-        and other garden plants are easier to eat
ed an opportunity to freshen a band whose           than gum leaves and, for a brushtail, the
previous release, 1997’s Elegantly Wasted,          space under a roof provides a cosy home.
had continued a slide in quality and sales.         Problem is they also make quite a racket
They’ve chosen not to. It’s not just that the       when they play or fight with the other
new singer, J.D. Fortune (from Canada), tries       members of the family who have taken
his darnedest to sound like Michael                 shelter in your home, eat through your
Hutchence – so much so that it is almost            electricity wires, and leave behind the
eerie at times – but that the songs them-           remains of their lunch. Possum “authorities”
selves are like identikit pictures of earlier       claim that there are two possums for every           Skies darken as thunderstorm passes over
INXS songs. So, is Switch re-creating their         household in the city, and things are even           Bondi Beach. Photo: Danielle Smith
best moments or repeating their only ideas?         worse in NZ. The Australian native has
Well, this album is such a good facsimile of        become a feral pest since being introduced         Storms clobber southern and
INXS it could possibly be the best INXS             for its fur in the 1800s, and the count there is   central NSW
cover band around. Perhaps not necessarily          about 70 million – or 18 per person.               [December 2, 2005, SMH] Roofs have been
something to boast too much about, though,                                                             ripped from homes and widespread areas of
if you still call yourself INXS rather than, say,   Kidman, Urban ‘engaged’                            southern and central NSW blacked out after
the Australian/Canadian INXS Show.                  [December 1, 2005, SMH] Oscar-winning              two severe storms swept through the
                                                    actor Nicole Kidman and country music              regions today. Storms ravaged both the
                                                    singer Keith Urban are officially engaged,         Albury and Forbes areas, damaging homes,
                                                    according to US showbiz program Entertain-         causing flash flooding and bringing down
                                                    ment Tonight. The show said sources close to       powerlines. Winds of more than 90 kmh
                                                    the Australian stars had confirmed the             were recorded at Albury and 115 kmh in
                                                    engagement. This latest development adds           Forbes – more than 300 km to the north. The
                                                    further weight to speculation that Kidman          Bureau of Meteorology also warned severe
                                                    and Urban are expecting a baby. A few weeks        storms could affect widespread areas of
                                                    ago, People magazine ran a picture of Kid-         NSW, and are likely to produce large hail-
                                                    man wearing a diamond ring on her wed-             stones, damaging winds, heavy rain and
                                                    ding finger while walking through a Boston         flash flooding. The severe weather comes a
                                                    street with Urban.                                 day after wild storms hit parts of northern
                                                                                                       NSW, with areas of the north coast today
                                                                                                       declared a natural disaster area.

  Fur better or worse .... right, a possum on a
  park bench overlooking the Opera House.
  Photo: SMH

Cheeky possums
[December 1, 2005, SMH] People everywhere
have problems keeping animals and birds
out of their homes. Rabbits, cockatoos,
wallabies, deer, moose ... In Sydney, many
are plagued by possums, both the large
brushtailed and smaller ringtailed possums
that have adapted to live comfortably around
our suburbs. They have discovered that roses

4 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                          December 2005
from our Kiwi contributors
                                                 ible.” Bobby plays up to 15 hours of chess a
                                                 week as well as school, soccer practice and
                                                                                                    at tourist centres with a dancing challenge,
                                                                                                    in which visitors are invited to pick up a
                                                 watching rugby. Asked what is the best thing       feather or twig token placed at their feet to
Top-tasting and $1 for 200 litres                about chess, Harry confidently announces:          show they came in peace. Dutchman
[December 1, 2005, NZ Herald] Aucklanders,       “Winning”.                                         Johannes Scheffers was warned that any sign
it seems, are just as happy drinking tap                                                            of laughter would be seen as disrespect
water as paying up to $3 a litre for the so-                                                        when he was chosen to represent a party of
called crisp taste of spring water. With sum-                                                       160 visitors at the Tamaki Tours cultural vil-
mer on us, Auckland City’s water company,                                                           lage in Rotorua. During the final part of the
Metrowater, says its water is not only safe                                                         ceremony, Scheffers “gave a nervous grin
and healthy but up to 600 times cheaper                                                             with no intention to be disrespectful”, at
than bottled water at 0.5c a litre. At a blind                                                      which point Richard Minarapa Mitai-Ngatai,
tasting by 11 people at Mission Bay, tasters                                  The firefighters      40, stepped forward and head-butted him,
clearly preferred tap water: “I object to pay-                                climbing a 10m        fracturing Scheffers’ nose. Mitai-Ngatai was
ing for water. I’m quite happy with the water                                 ladder on their       charged with assault.
supply in Auckland.”                                                          way to setting a
                                                                              new climbing          Fake tongue stud banned
Mayors back $12 minimum                                                       record. Picture:      [December 9, 2005, SMH] New Zealand has
wage                                                                          Glenn Jeffrey.        banned sales of an imitation tongue stud
[December 3, 2005, NZ Herald] New                                                                   after a nine-year-old girl inhaled one and
Zealand’s mayors want the Government to          Firefighters scale 12 Mt Everests                  had to undergo surgery to remove it from her
raise the minimum wage to $12 an hour            [December 5, 2005, NZ Herald] Ten firefight-       lung. The stud, which suctions onto the
sooner than it plans so as to help young peo-    ers set a new climbing record in Auckland at       tongue without piercing, has been popular
ple into skilled trades. The Mayors Taskforce    the weekend by scaling more than 12 Mt             with Kiwi teenagers and preteens. But it
for Jobs, representing 91 per cent of mayors,    Everests – on a ladder. They achieved a verti-     poses a choking hazard and can be inhaled
says lifting the legal minimum from $9.50        cal height of 109.59 km by climbing a 10-m         into the lungs or airways of the wearer caus-
an hour to $12 would encourage “greater          ladder at Viaduct Harbour 1,100 times. The         ing a potentially serious injury.
investment in skill training leading to          event raised about $15,000 for burn patients
increases in productivity”.                      at the National Burn Centre.

                                                 French lay claim to Kiwi
                              Harry Ruan, 6,     [December 6, 2005, NZ Herald] When a fam-
                              and Bobby          ily-run vineyard in Nelson called its
                              Cheng, 8,          chardonnay Kiwi White and exported it to
                              have been          Sweden, a French company threatened it
                              picked out by      with legal action, saying it had already
                              a British chess    trademarked the term Kiwi. The Lacheteau
                              grandmaster        wine company registered the name “Kiwi
                              as exceptional     Cuvee” and is prepared to sue anyone,                 Huge house valued at $30 million.
                              players.           including New Zealanders, for selling wines           Photo: NZ Herald
                              Picture: Brett     with the same name anywhere in the Euro-
                              Phibbs.            pean Union: “It’s a case of the pot calling the    Giant house set to break records
                                                 kettle black. Here’s the French trying to pro-     [December 10, 2005] A Coatesville house
                                                 tect burgundy as a geographical indicator          estimated to cost $30 million is being devel-
Small fry share big chess talent                 and saying we can’t use Kiwi. We can’t use         oped by interests associated with the
[December 5, 2005, NZ Herald] Two primary        something that is an icon.”                        founder of the flourishing Chrisco Christ-
schoolchildren have the future of New                                                               mas Hamper Club. The Coatesville house on
Zealand chess at their fingertips. Aucklan-      Laughing’s a no nose                               Mahoenui Valley Rd north of Albany, us
ders Bobby Cheng, 8, who has the potential       [December 9, 2005, SMH] A Maori cultural           shielded by high stone walls, and has an
to become a grandmaster and Harry Ruan, 6,       performer taking part in a traditional wel-        arbour of mature palm trees, tennis courts, a
who was far from focused during their            coming ceremony reportedly headbutted a            maze garden, ponds and a large pool.
match, yet still played admirably: “He           Dutch tourist and broke his nose because he
seemed to decide his move in three seconds,      thought he was laughing at him. Maoris
ran off to play football with his friends, and   dressed in traditional costume and wielding
came back when it was his turn. Just incred-     spears often perform welcoming ceremonies

                                                                                                       Decks, Sunrooms and

   Kiwi Installations                                         Call Terry 229-6642 or 663-6549
                                                                                                    Roll-up Security Shutters.
                                                                                                 Free in-home/cottage estimates.

December 2005                                                                             • The Southern Yarn 5
from the Down Under sport desks
                                                   Australia’s expense has only made them
                                                   sweeter on this side of the Tasman.
                                                                                                        day night’s International Rugby Board
                                                                                                        awards. The All Blacks, Daniel Carter and
                                                       “Ain’t Life Grand!” said a banner head-          Graham Henry were respectively named
                                                   line in Monday’s New Zealand Herald.                 team, player and coach of the year. As for the
                                                   “Kiwis dump on the Aussies ... and All               league, Tri Nations victory in Leeds, Kiwis
                                                   Blacks tie up the slam.” The New Zealand             supporters were ecstatic about the rare tri-
                                                   rugby league team stunned the Kangaroos              umph over usually dominant Australia. This
                                                   24-0 in the Tri Nations final while the All          as Australia’s netballers ponder what they
                                                   Blacks beat Scotland to complete an historic         can do in next year’s Commonwealth Games
                                                   grand slam on tour in Britain and Ireland. To        to counter an awesome New Zealand outfit
                                                   top it all off, they made a clean sweep of Sun-      which pounded them 61-36 in Auckland.

  Exit stage right .... Eddie Jones steps down.
  Photo: Craig Golding.

Eddie Jones sacked
[December 2, 2005, SMH] Eddie Jones’s
tenure at the helm of the Wallabies has
ended, with the Australian Rugby Union
announcing it would begin the search for a
new national coach: “Professional rugby is a
result based game – one win in nine match-
es is far from satisfactory.”
    Eddie Jones told a press conference he
was “very disappointed” that he was not
given the opportunity to present his case to
the ARU, as he was expected to next week:
                                                                                                                            tuckerbox .
“The only thing that had been said to me was
that I was being terminated because of per-         Steamed Apricot                        Complete your Christmas table with this delicious
formance ... I’m just really disappointed in        Pudding with Creamy                    hot dessert from the Australian Women’s Weekly!
the decision. I still believe I’m the right per-    Brandy Sauce
son to coach Australia.”                                                                   The pudding: Toast almonds on oven tray in moderate oven
                                                    Steamed Apricot Pudding                for 5 minutes, combine in large bowl with apricots, cherries,
                                                    500g dried apricots, chopped           peel, apple and brandy, mix well. Have butter and eggs at
                                                     ⁄2 cup slivered almonds               room temperature.
                                                     ⁄3 cup halved red glace cherries        Cream butter and sugar in small bowl with electric mixer;
                                                    11⁄3 cups (250g) mixed peel            add eggs one at a time, beating between additions, beat
                                                    1 Granny Smith apple, peeled,          only until combined. Add to fruit mixture with flour and bread-
                                                    grated                                 crumbs, mix well.
                                                     ⁄2 cup brandy                           Place in well-greased steamer (2-litre capacity), cover with
                                                    250g butter                            foil, place lid on, seal with clips. Bunch remaining foil around
                                                    11⁄2 cups brown sugar, firmly packed   edge of steamer to form a tight seal. Place in a large boiler
                                                    4 eggs                                 with enough boiling water co come halfway up side of steam-
                                                    11⁄2 cups plain flour, sifted          er. Boil constantly for 4 hours. Replenish water with boiling
                                                    250g stale white breadcrumbs           water as it evaporates.
  New Zealand’s captain Tana Umaga                  (about 4 cups)                           Serve pudding with Creamy Brandy Sauce or icecream. If
  celebrates the victory over Scotland that                                                not using immediately, leave pudding in steamer. Refrigerate
  wrapped up a Grand Slam. Photo: AP.               Creamy Brandy Sauce                    when cold for up to 6 weeks, if desired. When ready to
                                                    1 cup vanilla ice cream                serve, steam as above for 2 hours to reheat before service.
Sporting bliss for Kiwis                            2 tspn cornflour                       To Freeze: Wrap in freezer wrap for up to 2 months. Thaw
[November 28, 2005, SMH] New Zealanders             2 tspn water                           before reheating as above. Note: This recipe is not suitable
are on cloud nine after a weekend in which          300ml carton thickened cream,          to microwave.
their national teams topped the world in            whipped
both rugby codes. Coming on top of the Sil-         2 tblspn icing sugar, sifted           Brandy Sauce: Melt icecream in pan over low heat, stir in
ver Ferns’ thrashing of Australia in netball        2 tblspn brandy                        blended cornflour and water, stir until mixture boils and thick-
last month and golfer Michael Campbell’s US                                                ens. Remove from heat, fold in cream, icing sugar and
Open win, it’s been a great year for Kiwi                                                  brandy. Serve warm. This recipe is not suitable to freeze.
sport. That the victories have often come at

6 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                               December 2005
Movies and Videos
                                                eccentric motorcycle rider Burt Munro, top-
                                                ping the box-office charts for six weeks. And
                                                there are big Hollywood projects for direc-
                                                                                                         Even if not quite on the same huge scale,
                                                                                                     Australia has its own directors attracting
                                                                                                     international finance, with George Miller
                                                tors Martin Campbell, who is following the           making the animated penguin movie Happy
                                                two Zorro movies with the next James Bond,           Feet, Wolf Creek’s Greg McLean shooting the
                                                and Niki Caro, who has gone from Whale               killer croc film Rogue and Baz Luhrmann
                                                Rider to the Charlize Theron drama North             planning an Australian epic starring Russell
                                                Country.                                             Crowe and Nicole Kidman. But most of the
                                                     All this activity from a country of 4.1 mil-    big offshore-financed movies have been
                                                lion people that produces only about five of         directed by Americans: Bryan Singer (Super-
                                                its own features a year. In Auckland, Adam-          man Returns), George Lucas (two Star Wars
                                                son is quick to highlight all the Australians        episodes) and the Wachowski brothers (the
                                                who worked on Narnia, including cinematog-           Matrix trilogy).
Reviewers go ape over movie                     rapher Don McAlpine and production                       The chief executive of the Australian
[December 6, 2005, NZ Herald] Internation-      designer Roger Ford. He believes The Lord of         Film Commission, Kim Dalton, believes
al movie critics were going ape last night      the Rings has created opportunities for other        what’s taking place is the melding of talents
over Peter Jackson’s re-make of King Kong       Kiwi filmmakers.”                                    from the two countries. His case is backed
after it had its world premiere in New York.                                                         by Jackson using cinematographer Andrew
Early reviews of the US$207 million ($294                                                            Lesnie and numerous actors, plus such tal-
million) film described it as a surprisingly                                                         ents as Russell Crowe and Jane Campion
tender, even heartbreaking, tale of beauty                                                           crossing the Tasman.
and the beast: “a wonderful blend – probably                                                             Dalton cannot see any policies or incen-
the most perfect blend – of escapism and                                                             tives that New Zealand has over Australia –
adventure, mystery and romance ... jaw-                                                              other than the massive government support
droppingly brilliant: the most entertaining                                                          for The Lord of the Rings – and cites Miller,
blockbuster movie this year ... magnificent                                                          McLean, Luhrmann and Phil Noyce as direc-
spectacle, terrific action, a droll sense of                                                         tors looking to make larger-scale movies
humour, and cherishable performances.” NZ                                                            here with international finance. “Whilst we
Herald’s entertainment editor Russell Baillie                                                        can’t lay claim to anything as big and suc-
described the film as a brazenly exciting           A lot of the reason the industry is thriv-       cessful as The Lord of the Rings or King Kong,
three hours which reminded viewers of “how      ing here can be attributed to Peter’s desire to
big movies can be and still be beautiful”. He   make those films here,” he says. “The indus-
gave it five stars out of five. I guess we’ve   try becomes self-propagating. At some point,
come to expect nothing less from Peter Jack-    with a lot of films, people gain film experi-
son!                                            ence and then go off and do their own thing.
                                                Then they’ll hire more people.” The chief
                                                executive of the New Zealand Film Commis-
                                                sion, Ruth Harley, says the country’s vibran-
                                                cy is largely due to ‘the big gorilla’.
                                                    “The fact that Peter Jackson stayed here
                                                and made his businesses here [including a
                                                studio, post-production facility and a stake
                                                in the Weta effects operations] made all the
                                                difference in the world to the New Zealand
                                                film industry. It put it on the map in the way
                                                that nothing else could possibly have done,
                                                made infrastructure that nobody ever
                                                dreamed of having and created a demand for           nonetheless we’ve had a very steady
                                                a level of skill which has permeated the             [stream] of quite high-level international
                                                whole industry.”                                     production and creative talent operating in
Kiwi movie industry takes flight                    Harley says The Lord of the Rings has            Australia.”
[December 8, 2005, SMH] Across the Tas-         inspired more international interest in the              Robin James, the chief executive of the
man, it seems like a small filmmaking mira-     country’s locations, especially by such for-         Queensland Government’s Pacific Film and
cle is taking place. Since The Lord of the      mer residents as director Roger Donaldson,           Television Commission, thinks Australian
Rings brought New Zealand to the world’s        who made The World’s Fastest Indian, and             filmmakers could have a more global focus
attention, two of Hollywood’s biggest movies    such “new patriots” as American producer             with their projects and, like Jackson, build
this Christmas have been shot there by Kiwi     Barrie Osborne, who is finalising another big        businesses around infrastructure. “There
directors – Peter Jackson’s King Kong and       Hollywood movie for Auckland. “The scale of          are individuals in New Zealand who have
Andrew Adamson’s The Chronicles of Nar-         work that Peter has done here and main-              developed a business model which is clearly
nia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.      tained with Kong has meant that people like          very successful. If you’re engaged in devel-
There is also vitality at other levels of the   Andrew Adamson know it’s possible. The               opment, production, post-production and
film industry, with a home-grown hit in The     studio could see that ‘yeah, those guys can          distribution, you’re getting benefits ulti-
World’s Fastest Indian, an upbeat tale about    do that’.”                                           mately from all levels.”

December 2005                                                                              • The Southern Yarn 7

      from our Down Under contributors
                                                     down under humour, courtesy Ed and Elaine Clairmont

                                                     A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve
                                                     you, but don’t start anything.”
                                                     Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.                                                          Man
                                                     A dyslexic man walks into a bra ...

                                                     A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
                                                     says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

                                                     Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
                                                                                                                             Board of Directors
                                                     ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
                                                                                                                             Lynley Wesselingh
                                                     Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does
     Join us in February for Sevens                  this taste funny to you?”                                               Vice President:
                                                                                                                             Terry Roberts
     Rugby in Los Angeles
              USA Sevens Rugby Tournament            “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’”           Secretary:
                                                     “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” “Well,           Judy Powell
                February 11 and 12, 2006
                                                     It’s Not Unusual.”                                                      Media/Communications:
               Home Depot Center Stadium,
                                                                                                                             Jenny Gates
              Carson (Los Angeles), California
                                                     Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says         Treasurer:
     Join friends, teammates, countrymen and                                                                                 Peter Debenham
                                                     to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t
     women for two days of fast, hard-hitting                                                                                Social Coordinator:
                                                     believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
     rugby and one of the best party weekends of                                                                             Peter Munn
     the year!                                       An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were noth-        Membership:
         Kiwisinla and Kea are going to buy bulk     ing to look at either.                                                  Lucia Barron
     tickets for the Sunday final day only so we
     can have a sea of black and white... Get your   Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
                                                                                                                             The Southern Yarn is compiled at:
     tickets today! Contact       I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I              get it write.
                                                     couldn’t find any.                                                      Phone/fax: 1-204-957-5754
                                                     I went to a seafood disco last week ... and pulled a mussel.  
                                                     What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.                            Layout and design:
                                                                                                                             hydesmith communications
                                                     Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other
                                                     and says “Dam!”
                                                                                                                             The electronic version of this
                                                     Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
                                                                                                                             newsletter typically contains a
                                                     craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t
                                                                                                                             few extra pages of content (in
                                                     have your kayak and heat it too.
                                                                                                                             colour!), and can be downloaded
                                                     A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were              in PDF format from the website.
                                                     standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victo-         A big thank you to all of our

bottomfivesites                                      ries. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office
                                                     and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they
                                                     moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting
                                                                                                                             contributors within the club,
                                                                                                                             from overseas and information
                                                                                                                             services. – just watch as it ticks on   in an open foyer.” –                                                                             THE DOWN UNDER
don’t hit Santa!                                     A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them           CLUB OF WINNIPEG INC. – personalise your stamps      goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes          Station Main, PO Box 1655, –       to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan           Winnipeg Manitoba Canada R3C 2Z6
see how you do on this one!                          sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the      1-204-832-4405 email: – extreme Christ-   picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a 
mas lights (video)                                   picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve
                                                     seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

     8 The Southern Yarn •                                                                                             December 2005

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