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					Jayplay                           5
                                        APRIL 27, 2006




         PRACTICAL JOKES
      way beyond a marker to the face



                   7
        WEIGHTLIFTING
     we’re here to pump. . . you up




  TRIBUTE
                     10
   BANDS
a different kind
  of rock star



          TRIBUTE
           BANDS
      a look at
    tribute bands
      of two of
    the cheesiest
   performers in
    rock history:
    neil diamond
     and boston
       TABLE OF CONTENTS                                                             EDITOR’S NOTE
       CALENDAR    OUT
                                                            7     NOTICE                Driving in my car, I am Kelly   kicks that were so impressive,        and their music. Luckily, I have
                                                                                     Clarkson. I also can bust out      they landed me on my friend’s         the good sense to only allow
      what’s going on         pranks: how far can you go?       pumping iron         some Celine Dion (“It’s All        Web site with a caption that          a chosen few to see this side




                  3
                                                                                     Coming Back to Me” =                        read: “No one can see        of me.
                                                                                     awesome). In my car                         you make an ass out of          Unless, that is, Stella Artois is
                                                                                     I am an unashamed                           yourself at Duffy’s.” So I   involved.
                                                                                     crooner. I try my best                      am in awe of the tribute




                              5
                                                                                                                                                                 	        ■	Lindsey Ramsey
                                                                                     to imitate these artists                    bands mentioned in
                                                                                     but I often fall short.                     Kristen Maxwell’s story      An article in last Thursday’s Jayplay needs
                                                                                     On rare occasions, I will                   (p.10). They all have        correction. The article, “The thin web line,”
                                                                                     venture to a karaoke                        real guts and can all        should have said that Darcy had two Web
                                                                                     venue and try my hand at a live    perform in ways I only dream          sites, the second of which was Finding My




9                                                           13
                                                                                     performance. I remember one        of. I know Frank Sinatra, Kelly       Wings. She quit operating the first. In the
         HEALTH                       FEATURE                                        particular rendition of Frank      Clarkson and, yes, even Celine        same article, Darcy landed in the hospital
                                                                                     Sinatra’s “New York, New York”     would be unimpressed by my            from an unspecified drug overdose, not
   drinks that’ll jolt you        rockin’ out imitation



                              10
                                                                                     that involved elaborate leg        sad attempts to honor them            because of the use of antihistamines.



                                                                                       JAYPLAYERS
                                                            15                       EDITOR THE STAR
                                                                                     Natalie Johnson
                                                                                                                         BITE ALWAYS HAS THE MUNCHIES
                                                                                                                         Melissa Byrd
                                                                                                                                                                 CONTACT HELPS YOUR LOVE LIFE
                                                                                                                                                                 Stefanie Graves



                                                                           15
                                                                    BITE                                                 Carrie Hillard                          Kristen Maxwell
                                                             the skinny on fasting   ASSOCIATE EDITOR THE RAMDOG         Erin Wisdom                             Rachel Zupek
                                                                                     Lindsey Ramsey
                                                                                                                         OUT HITS THE TOWN                       CREATIVE CONSULTANT KNOWS



  15REVIEWS                    17                           19
                                                                                     CLERK GETS AROUND TOWN              David Heller                            A LOT
                                                                                     Andrew Campbell                     Charissa Young                          Carol Holstead
  we tell you what we think
                                                                                     DESIGNERS MAKE IT PRETTY            NOTICE TAKES NOTE OF IT                 WRITE TO US
                                                                                     Becka Cremer                        Liz Nartowicz                           jayplay06@gmail.com
                                                                                     Jacky Carter                        Malinda Osborne
                                                                                     Drew Bergman                        Carolyn Tharp                           JAYPLAY
                                                                                                                                                                 The University Daily Kansan



                  15
                                                                                     PHOTOGRAPHER TELL ME WHAT YOU       HEALTH KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY            111 Stauffer-Flint Hall

                                                                   SPEAK
                                                                                     NEED                                Marion Hixon                            1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
                                      CONTACT                                        Kit Leffler                         Jason Shaad                             Lawrence, KS 66045
                              when a partner is depressed       sugar addiction
                                                                                     COPY EDITOR MAKES IT RIGHT                                                               VOLUME 3, ISSUE 28
                                                                                     Tara Schupner




02 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006
Ca l
                                                                                                                 FRIDAY 4.28
                                                        Peter Thompson




                                                                                                                 American Catastrophe,
                                                                                                                 Roman Numerals and                       Film: King Kong. Kansas Union,          Forget the Fall, Harmless
                                                                                                                 Olympic Size. Davey’s Uptown             6:30 p.m., all ages, FREE with          Addiction and State of
                                                                                                                 Rambler’s Club, 10 p.m., 21+, $6,        SUA card or $2, www.suaevents.          Empathy. Boobie Trap




e d
                                                                                                                 www.daveysuptown.com*                    com                                     Bar, 8 p.m., all ages, $5 - $6,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  boobietrapbar.com*
                                                                                                                 Art Opening: The Garden:                 Free Play. Replay Lounge, 3
King Kong                                                                                         Kelley Hunt    Season to Season. Fields                 p.m., all ages, FREE, 785-749-          Return to Self with Volpine.
                                                                                                                 Gallery, 7 p.m., all ages, FREE,         7676                                    Grand Emporium, 8 p.m., 21+,
                                    Doris Henson                          Gould Evans                            785-842-7187                                                                     FREE, www.kcclubs.com/
                                                                                                                                                          Hawk Nights Street Ball.                grandemp.cfm*
                                                                                                                 The Band that Saved the                  McCollum Basketball Courts, 5
                                                                                                                 World. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+,           p.m., all ages, FREE, suaevents.        Seminar: Andean &
                                                                                                                 $5, www.jazzhaus.com                     com                                     Amazonian Worlds. Hall
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Center, 3:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,
                                                                                                                 Baroque Plucked Strings                  Helping Phriendly Band,                 www.hallcenter.ku.edu
                                                                                                                 Instruments. Murphy Hall, 3:30           A Tribute to Phish. Mike’s
                                                                                                                 p.m., all ages, FREE, 785-864-           Tavern, 10 p.m., 21+, $7, www.          SLAM AIDS Benefit with




 ar
                                                                                                                 9746                                     mikestavernkc.com*                      Michael Garfield, The Kinetics,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Emperor Stan, Farewell to
                                                                                                                 Bingo. Eagles Lodge, 7 p.m., all         Ladyfinger. Replay Lounge,              Ashlyn, and Death & Flowers.
                    Shanti Groove
                                                                                                                 ages, FREE, 785-843-9690                 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.                  Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $5,
                                                                                                                                                          replaylounge.com                        www.thejackpotsaloon.com
                                                          The PBR Band                            Poetry Slam    Cosmic Bowling. Kansas Union,
                                                                                                                 11 p.m. to 1 a.m., all ages, FREE,       Play: Man of La Mancha. Polsky          Trivia Riot. The Brick, 7
                                                                                                                 www.suaevents.com                        Theatre, 8 p.m., all ages, varies,      p.m., 21+, cost varies, www.
                                                                                                                                                          www.jccc.com *                          thebrickkcmo.com*
                                                                                                                 Country Jam. Beaumont Club, 8
                                                                                                                 p.m., all ages, $8, www.kcclubs.         Play: The Marriage of Figaro.           TriPoint Paradox. Granada, 9
                                                                                                                 com/beaumont.cfm*                        Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy          p.m., 18+, $5, www.thegranada.
                                                                                                                                                          Hall, 7:30 p.m., all ages, $10          com
                                                                                                                 Developing Democratic                    students, 785-864-2787
                                                                                                                 Values. Hall Center, 3 p.m., all                                                 Tunes@Noon. Kansas Union,
                                                                                                                 ages, FREE, www.hallcenter.              Poker Pub. Liquid, 7 p.m., 21+,         12 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
 Pulp Fiction
                                                                                                                 ku.edu                                   FREE, 785-749-HAWK                      suaevents.com




THURSDAY 4.27                                                                                                     SATURDAY 4.29
Alkaline Trio with Against Me.      Hot Lunch. Jackpot Saloon,            UMKC Jazz Mixer and Dixie              Bomstad, Volunteers, Leo                 Drive-In Movie: King Kong.
Beaumont Club, 7:30 p.m., all       10 p.m., 18+, FREE, www.              Witch. Mike’s Tavern, 6 p.m., 21+,     Nightingale. Eighth Street               Memorial Stadium, 9 p.m. to
ages, $14.50, www.kcclubs.com/      thejackpotsaloon.com                  $6, www.mikestavernkc.com*             Taproom, 10 p.m., 21+, $3, 785-          12:15 a.m., FREE, www.ku.edu/           The Receiving End of Sirens,
beaumont.cfm*                                                                                                    841-6918                                 ~calendar                               I am the Avalanche, Hit the
                                    Lecture: “Identity and Power:         University Dance Company                                                                                                Lights, Weatherbox . El Torreon
Country Wars. Grand                 Transcribing Oral Histories of        with Guest Choreographer               Cosmic Bowling. Kansas Union             Helping Phriendly Band                  Ballroom, 8 p.m., all ages, $8,
Emporium, 9 p.m., 21+, FREE,        Plant Animism in the Upper            Wally Cordona. Lied Center, 7:30       Jaybowl, 11 p.m. to 1 a.m., FREE,        (Phish Tribute). Jazzhaus, 10           www.eltorreon.com*
www.kcclubs.com/grandemp.           Amazon” with                          p.m., all ages, $7, 785-864-2787       www.ku.edu/~calendar                     p.m., 21+, $7, www.jazzhaus.
cfm*                                Renee Hanson, graduate                                                                                                com                                     Tamarind Fold, The Americas,
                                    student in Latin American             Wine & Cheese Lecture:                 Darfur Benefit Concert.                                                          Cair Paravel. Jackpot Saloon,
Dixie Witch and The Cast            studies. Bailey Hall 318, noon,       Environmental Problems                 Uptown Theater, 7 p.m., all ages,        Kelley Hunt. Uncle Bo’s T-              10 p.m., 18+, $5-$7, www.
Pattern. Replay Lounge, 10 p.m.,    all ages, FREE, www.ku.edu/           in China with a focus on               $10, www.uptowntheater.com*              Town Bar, 8:30 p.m., 21+, $18           thejackpotsaloon.com
21+, $2, www.replaylounge.com       ~latamst                              water with Jennifer Turner,                                                     advance, $20 day of show, www.
                                                                          coordinator of the China                                                        unclebos.com*                           The Ants. Gaslight Tavern,
Film: King Kong. Kansas Union       Neon Dance Party. Granada, 9          Environment Forum. ECM                                                                                                  9 p.m., 21+, $4, www.
Woodruff Auditorium, 6:30 and       p.m., 18+, $3, www.thegranada.        Center, 4:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,                                              Mic Mechanics Emcee Battle.             gaslighttavern.com
9:45 p.m., all ages, $2 or free     com                                   www.ceas.ku.edu                                                                 The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., 18+, $7-
with SUA activity card, www.                                                                                                                              $10, www.bottlenecklive.com             Tribute Jam II: El Loco &
suaevents.com                       Novalus CD Release Show.              Workshop: Writing on the Job.                                                                                           Because. Grand Emporium, 8
                                    Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $3, www.      JRP Hall 204, 9 to 11 a.m., all                                                 Pinback, Aloha, Life and                p.m., 21+, $5, www.kcclubs.com*
Film: Memoirs of a Geisha.          jazzhaus.com                          ages, FREE, www.hreo.ku.edu                                                     Times. Granada, 9 p.m., all ages,
Spencer Museum of Art                                                                                                                                     $13, www.thegranada.com                 University Dance Company
Auditorium, 7 p.m., all ages,       Shanti Groove. The Bottleneck,        Workshop: Yoga in the                                                                                                   with Guest Choreographer
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu         8 p.m., 18+, $8, www.                 Workplace. Burge Union, 301                                                     The New Tragedies, In the               Wally Cordona. Lied Center,
                                    bottlenecklive.com                    Relays Room, 11:30 a.m. to 1                                                    Pines, Doris Henson. Davey’s            2:30 and 7:30 p.m., $7-$10,
                                                                          p.m., all ages, FREE, www.hreo.                                                 Uptown 10 p.m., 21+, $6, www.           www.ku.edu/~calendar
                                                                          ku.edu                                                                          daveysuptown.com*




*
                                                                                                                                       Robert Glasper




            WHERE
                                    Beaumont Club                        The Brick                              El Torreon Ballroom                     Mike’s Tavern                          Record Bar
                                    4050 Pennsylvania Ave.               1727 McGee St.                         3101 Gillham Plaza                      5424 Troost Ave.                       1020 Westport Rd.
                                    Kansas City, Mo.                     Kansas City, Mo.                       Kansas City, Mo.                        Kansas City, Mo.                       Kansas City, Mo.
                                    816-561-2560                         816-421-1634                           816-561-8349                            816-444-3399                           816-753-5207

                                    Boobie Trap Bar                      Davey’s Uptown                         Grand Emporium                          Polsky Theater                         Uptown Theater
                                    1417 SW Sixth St.                    3402 Main St.                          3832 Main St.                           Johnson County Community               3700 Broadway St.
                                    Topeka                               Kansas City, Mo.                       Kansas City, Mo.                        College, Carlsen Center                Kansas City, Mo.
                                    785-232-9008                         816-753-1909                           816-531-1504                            12345 College Blvd.                    816-753-8665
                                                                                                                                                        Overland Park

                                                                                                                                                                                               04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 03
SUNDAY 4.30
Acid Mother’s Temple. Record        Moonlight Towers. Replay
                                                                        Psychic Ills, Sad Fingers,
                                                                                                               TUESDAY 5.02
                                                                                                               Art Department Student              Gould Evans Architects                The Mansfields. Bottleneck, 10
                                                                        Superargo, Davan. The
Bar, 10 p.m., 21+, $10, www.        Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.                                             Scholarship Exhibition. KU Art      Exhibit. SUA Gallery, Kansas          p.m., 18+, 842-LIVE
                                                                        Bottleneck, 9 p.m., 18+, $7-$10,
therecordbar.com*                   replaylounge.com                                                           and Design Gallery, 8:30 a.m. to    Union Level 4, 9 a.m. to 4:30
                                                                        www.bottlenecklive.com
                                                                                                               4:30 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.     p.m., all ages, FREE, www.            Table Manners.         Fatso’s,
Art Department Student              The PBR Band. Harbour Lights,                                              arts.ku.edu/art/adgallery.html      suaevents.com                         9:30p.m., 21+, $2, 865-4055
                                                                        Shaggy 2 Dope. The Granada,
Scholarship Exhibition. KU Art      10 p.m., 21+, $2, 785-841-1960
                                                                        7 p.m., all ages, $20, www.
and Design Gallery, 1 to 4:30                                                                                  Battle for Rock and Metal           Lecture: “The Apotheosis of
                                                                        thegranada.com
p.m., all ages, FREE, www.arts.     Koufax, Marry Me Moses, The                                                Fest. Grand Emporium, 9 p.m.,       Danjuro the Eighth: Piety
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Embodiment
ku.edu/art/adgallery.html           Midday Ramblers, Adam’s Eve.                                               18+, 816-561-2560 *                 or Parody?” by Dr. Melinda
                                                                        Voodoo Blue, Aberration. The
                                    Pearson Hall front lawn, 3 p.m.,                                                                               Takeuchi, professor of
                                                                        Boobie Trap Bar, 8 p.m., all ages,
ArtReach Opening Reception.         all ages, FREE                                                             Film: Pulp Fiction. Kansas          Japanese art history, Stanford
                                                                        $5-$6, www.boobietrapbar.
University of Kansas Hospital,                                                                                 Union Woodruff Auditorium,          University. Spencer Museum
                                                                        com*
2 p.m. to 3 p.m., all ages, FREE,   Play: Marriage of Figaro.                                                  7 p.m. to 9 p.m., $1 or free        of Art 211, 5 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.kemperart.org                   Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy                                             with SUA Activity Card, www.        www.ku.edu/~kuarthis/
                                    Hall, 2:30 p.m., all ages, $18,                                            suaevents.com
                                    www.kutheatre.com




MONDAY 5.01
Art Department Student              Lecture: Physics and                Pretty Girls Make Graves.
                                                                                                               WEDNESDAY 5.03
                                                                                                               Black Box Memoirs. Harbour
Scholarship Exhibition. KU Art      Astronomy Colloquium “Dark          Bottleneck, all ages, 7 p.m., $10,     Lights, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, 785-      Fresh Ink. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m.,         Lecture: University Forum:
and Design Gallery, 8:30 a.m. to    Energy and the Future of            785-842-LIVE                           841-1960                            21+, $3, www.jazzhaus.com             State of the Prairie Ecosystem
4:30 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.     the Universe” by Steve Hsu,                                                                                                                          in Northeast Kansas. ECM
arts.ku.edu/art/adgallery.html      University of Oregon. Malott                                               Caspian. Jackpot Saloon,            Gooding. Grand Emporium, 9            Center, 12 p.m. to 1 p.m.,
                                    Hall 2074, 4 to 5 p.m., all ages,                                          18+, FREE, 10 p.m., www.            p.m., 18+, 816-865-4055 *             all ages, optional lunch, $3
Explore Evolution. Natural          FREE, www.ku.edu/~calendar/                                                thejackpotsaloon.com                                                      students, $5.50 others, www.
History Museum, 9 a.m. to 5                                                                                                                        Gould Evans Architects                ku.edu/~ecmku
p.m., all ages, FREE, www.n h m .   M-Pact and Genuine                                                         Explore Evolution. Natural          Exhibit. SUA Gallery, Kansas
ku.edu                              Imitation. Granada, 18+, 7 p.m.,                                           History Museum, 9 a.m. to 5         Union Level 4, 9 a.m. to 4:30         Poetry Slam. Kansas Union
                                    $10, www.thegranada.com                                                    p.m., all ages, FREE, www.n h m .   p.m., all ages, FREE, http://www.     Hawk’s Nest, 7 to 8 p.m., all ages,
Gould Evans Architects                                                                                         ku.edu                              suaevents.com                         FREE, www.suaevents.com
Exhibit. SUA Gallery, Kansas        Metal School w/ DJ Cruz.
Union Level 4, 9 a.m. to 4:30       Jackpot Saloon, 18+, FREE, 10                                              Exhibition: Transformations.        Kelpie/Headlights/                    White Ghost Shivers.
p.m., all ages, FREE, www.          p.m., www.thejackpotsaloon.                                                Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.      Supernauts. Replay, 10 p.m.,          Bottleneck, 10 p.m., 18+, 842-
suaevents.com                       com                                                                        to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.     21+, $2, www.replaylounge.com         LIVE
                                                                                    Pretty Girls Make Graves   spencerart.ku.edu




04 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006
Pranks gone wild
                                                                                                                                                                                                         ouT


  by Jason Shaad

Is your life lacking mischief? Play a prank
to enliven things.

   Last January, Re Scott got a phone call        there are no rules. Even in our own beds
from a number he didn’t recognize. When nothing is sacred.”
he answered, a woman he didn’t know                   For Scott, the prank call recipient,
said something about being an operator            the only rules for pranking are that you
for a replay program. The Topeka junior           don’t intend to hurt someone and that
was confused.                                     if you’re going to dish it out, you should
   Then she asked a question: Who would be prepared to get it back. “Keying
win in a fight: Johnny Lawrence, the              someone’s car is just mean,” he says. “A
leader of Cobra Kai and the teen nemesis prank is something you can do to bust
of Daniel LaRusso in Karate Kid, or Biff your friends without being hateful.”
Tannen, the guy who bullies around                    The elements of a good prank, Scott says,
Marty McFly in the Back to the Future             involve humor, creativity and surprise. The
series? Scott started                                               more original, the better.
laughing. He knew he’d                                              V. Vale, author of the book
been pranked.                                                       Pranks, agrees — to some
   Along with cheap beer,             arTful shamIng                extent.
bad pick-up lines and                                                   Vale      takes       a
late-night pizza, pranks              Here are some of the          philosophical approach
are a hallmark of college          most prevalent images            to pranks. For him, pranks
night life. They range from        drawn on people during           don’t involve victimizing
harmless phone calls to            a shaming:                       other people. Instead, they
elaborate stunts. And                                               are harmless ways to point
whether they’re offensive             A Charlie Chaplin             out irony and problems in
charades or innocent fun,            mustache                       society. They need to be
pranks let us vent our                A penis on the cheek          humorous, convey an anti-
inner mischief.                       An arrow on the               authoritarian message and
   Scott’s friend pranked           stomach pointed south           involve a poetic image.
him using a free online               A Frankenstein scar           He says the best prank
calling program called                                              he recently saw involved
IP-Relay, which allows                                              a billboard mocking
deaf people to place telephone calls over Abercrombie and Fitch advertisements.
the Internet by typing to an anonymous            “We’re more in favor of pranks that
relay operator, who then makes the call. perpetuate some sort of surrealist image or
Calls placed with the program come                subvert authority,” he says.
from an unknown number, which allows                  Vale traces the origin of pranks to the
pranksters to avoid caller-IDs. While legend of the trickster archetype that is
clever, the prank has a flip side. Due to         present in many early cultures. He says
pranks through IP-Relay, deaf people who          the trickster functioned to give people
use the service are experiencing a higher         a wake-up call whenever they were just
rate of hang-ups by people who assume floating through life. Today, modern
they’re receiving a prank call.                   tricksters serve the same purpose. “It’s in
   Prank calls aren’t the most popular of         our nature,” Vale says. “Many pranks are
college hijinks, says Amir Blumenfeld, a          crimes of opportunity.”
senior writer for the Web site CollegeHumor.          Indeed, sometimes there is a thin line
com, which receives hundreds of photo and between a prank and a crime. There is no
video submissions from college students           legal definition for pranks, but firecrackers
each week.The number one prank in college         in a dorm could be construed as arson,

                                                                                                  The greaTesT college Prank of all TIme:
today, he says, is shaming — using a marker       egging a house could be criminal damage                                                                                                                  KIT LEFFLER
to draw on someone who is passed out. In to property, and shaming (depending on
second place is the dorm door obstruction
prank, which involves blocking someone’s
                                                  intent and how physical it is) could be
                                                  construed as battery, says Sally Kelsey,                                                  the great roSe bowl hoax of 1961
door with anything from liquid-filled cups        a general practice attorney for the Law             Although college students have       When the cheerleaders gave           As the crowd flipped the cards,
to phone books. Third is the surprise wake- Offices of Donald G. Strole, 16 E. 13th St.            pulled innumerable pranks, general   the signal, the fans were supposed      everyone grew silent. The cards
up prank. Blumenfeld says he has seen this        But most pranks are intended to annoy            consensus among prank Web            to flip their cards according to        above Washington’s fans read:
prank range from waking someone with a rather than inflict harm, she says. Kelsey                  sites and books maintains that the   the instruction sheets. As cameras      CALTECH. Fourteen students from
megaphone to filling an entire room with says she has only seen a few cases tried                  Rose Bowl hoax of 1961 is the best   televised the halftime show across      the Pasadena technical college
loud disco music, strobe lights and erratic       that involved pranks gone awry.                  college prank ever accomplished.     the nation, the cheerleaders began      had managed to infiltrate the
dancers.                                              John Frydman, a Lawrence criminal            On January 2, 1961, NBC televised    to signal the audience. The first few   Washington cheerleaders’ hotel
   Prank etiquette dictates that nobody           attorney, says police usually know when          the Rose Bowl football game          images went according to plan, but      room and replace all the instruction
sustains physical harm or injury, something is intended to be a prank.“This                        between the Minnesota Golden         then the word SEIKSUH appeared          cards the night before the game.
Blumenfeld says. “Markers are temporary, is a college town. They’ll understand the                 Gophers and the Washington           — HUSKIES spelled backwards.            Variants of this prank have been
and eyebrows have about a three-month             fine line,” he says.                             Huskies. At halftime, Washington’s   Assuming this was just an incidental    accomplished since 1961, but it
grow-back period,” he says.                           But remember, just because a line exists     cheerleaders prepared to lead        flaw, the cheerleaders gave the next    was the Rose Bowl hoax that set
   But how much compassion can                    doesn’t mean your prankster friends              Washington fans through a            signal. But instead of a giant image    the stage for all elaborate college
someone expect from jokesters? Not                won’t cross it. “Pranks are funny until          huge flip-card show that would       of Washington’s mascot — the            pranks to come.
much, Blumenfeld says. “We used to think          somebody gets hurt,” says Blumenfeld,            produce giant images. Each fan       husky — a giant buck-toothed               Source: www.museumofhoaxes.
there were boundaries and regional rules, the College Humor writer. “Then they get                 had been given a large card and a    animal appeared. The cheerleaders       com
like you are safe if you’re in your bed. But      really funny.”                                   personalized instruction sheet.      quickly signaled for the next image.
                                                                                                                                                                                 04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 05
  JAYPLAY SAYS                                                                                                     Q
                                                                                                                       &aÍ
                                                                                                                                                                                             With
                                                                                                                                                                                        Derek Fudesco
                                                                                                                                                                                        of Pretty Girls
                                                                                                                                                                                        Make Graves
                                                        SEE
                                                       UNITED 93
                                                          Is it too soon? Obviously Hollywood doesn’t think
                                                       so, as the first of several September-11-themed
                                                       films makes its way to theaters. The trailer gives
                                                       chills with its black screen, airplane noises and
                                                                                          panicked voices of
                                                                                          passengers. Director




                                                                                                                   P
                                                                                          Paul Greengrass (The
                                                                                          Bourne Supremacy)                    retty Girls Make Graves’ third           Q: What are you hoping Élan Vital will do for
WATCH                                                                                     took special care to
                                                                                          get the passengers’
                                                                                                                               album, Élan Vital, is one of their
                                                                                                                               most exciting to date. Bassist
                                                                                                                                                                        you?
                                                                                                                                                                        A: I hope it will finally shake off the people
   PULP FICTION                                                                           families blessing
                                                                                          before dramatizing
                                                                                                                               Derek Fudesco talked with me
                                                                                                                               about the band’s new album and
                                                                                                                                                                        who’ve been expecting us to make the first
                                                                                                                                                                        record over again. With every release, there are
   SUA comes to rescue your Tuesday night                                                 the tale of the flight   their upcoming tour. The band is bringing an         people hoping we’ll make Good Health again.
with a $1 showing of the 1994 Tarantino                                                   that went down in        explosive live show to the Bottleneck May 1.
classic. The film did no less than resurrect                                              rural Pennsylvania.                                                           Q: You sing a little during your show. Do you
the career of John Travolta, receive seven                                                Controversial, but       Q: How did you want Élan Vital to sound              consider yourself a good musician?
Academy Award nominations (including Best                                                 too potentially          different from New Romance?                          A: No, I’m a funny singer. I’m just funny enough
Picture) and spawn a poster that graced the                                               riveting to miss.        A: We didn’t set out to make it different. We        so that no one notices how bad I actually sing.
walls of countless dorm rooms. Lights dim at
7 p.m. in Woodruff Auditorium.
                                                                                             ß  Lindsey Ramsey     lost a member. In the past, all five of us would
                                                                                                                   write songs together. When we went in to             Q: How do you think the band has changed
                           ß    Natalie Johnson                                                                    make this record, individual members brought         since the self titled EP?
                                                                                                                   in songs or we paired up to write. That’s the        A: We’re a lot more open to different things

  RENT
                                                                                                                   biggest reason it sounds different. There were       than we used to be. In the past we were really

                                                       EAT GRILLED FOOD                                            probably two or three collaborations on this
                                                                                                                   album.
                                                                                                                                                                        stubborn. Every person had to have their
                                                                                                                                                                        stamp on every song. Now we’re open to
SHOPGIRL                                                  Sunset is late,                                          Q: How did the addition of Leona Marrs on
                                                                                                                                                                        letting someone else take the reigns. It’s more
                                                                                                                                                                        about writing better songs, instead of ego.
   Modest, sad and so good, Shopgirl                   weather is warm and                                         keyboard and the loss of Nathan Thelen on
should be required viewing for guys who                homework is lame.                                           guitar affect the group?                             Q: What bands would you like to tour with?
can’t see past appearances to the beauty               Invite some friends                                         A: It opened up a whole new world. Before, we        A: TV On The Radio. They’re one of my favorite
underneath. Claire Danes plays a lowly                 over and cook out. The                                      were very guitar-dominated. With Leona we            bands right now. Flaming Lips would be cool,
glove saleswoman who is pursued by a                   gods of springtime                                          could open up a lot of new territory. Plus, she      too. I’d love to tour with Fleetwood Mac. For
penniless goofball                                     see this gesture of                                         also plays melodica and accordion. The more          my 31st birthday this year, when we were in
(Jason Schwartzman)                                    appreciation and will                                       we wrote, the more everyone began swapping           Australia, Andrea [lead singer] took me to see
and a suave, wealthy                                   surely award us with                                        instruments.                                         Stevie Nicks. It was great.
older gentleman (Steve                                 more sunny days and
Martin). Adapted from                                  mild nights… or a                                           Q: What influences your music?                       Q: What words would you use to describe
Martin’s charming                                      tornado. Either way,                                        A: Everything. I get it from books, movies,          your live show?
novella, Shopgirl is                                   steak rules.                                                friends and friends’ bands. It’s kind of a day-to-   A: Our live show can go two ways. When it’s on,
absolutely worth the
tears it causes.
                                                           ß   Natalie Johnson                                     day thing. We all have very different influences     it can be pretty good. When it’s off, it can be
                                                                                                                   and styles.                                          a total train wreck. It’s like 70/30. Even when
      ß  Lindsey Ramsey                                                                                                                                                 it’s a train wreck, it can be pretty entertaining.
                                                                                                                                                                        Lawrence is a cool town, though. We like
                                                                                                                                                                        Lawrence.
 GO              UNIVERSITY DANCE COMPANY                                                                                                                                                                ß Chris Brower
                       WITH GUEST CHOREOGRAPHER WALLY CORDONA                                                      PGMG is, from left: Nick DeWitt,
                       Support your local dancers and see this performance at the Lied Center for just $7.You’ve   Andrea Zollo, Jason Clark,
                       got three shots at it; performances are at 7:30 Thursday and 2:30 and 7:30 Saturday.        Leonna Mars, Derer Fudesco

                                                                                             ßNatalie Johnson




06 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006
                                                                                                                                                                                                      NOTICE


Lifting misconceptions
   by Liz Nartowicz




                                                                                                                                                                                                      GREG	GRIESENAUER

Pump up your health by pumping iron.
	 Arnold	 Schwarzenegger	            above	 to	 show	 the	 benefits	          though	 most	 lifters	 aren’t	          vigorous	 workout	 between	            training.	 Alternating	 days,	
has	 played	 many	 roles,	 star-     of	pumping	iron	daily.	                  even	 on	 a	 supplement,	 Miller	       20	and	60	minutes	for	fitness,	        Pitts	 trains	 arms	 and	 shoul-
ring	 in	 more	 than	 35	 films	     	 Every	morning	at	6,	Johna-             says.	                                  Millar	 says.	 Exercise	 only	 be-     ders	 twice	 a	 week	 and	 chest	
and	 snagging	 the	 title	 of	       than	Miller,	Lee’s	Summit,	Mo.,	         	 “It’s	 just	 years	 and	 years	 of	   comes	 harmful	 when	 a	 per-          and	back	three	times.	
California’s	 38th	 governor	 in	    sophomore,	is	at	the	Student	            lifting,”	Miller	says.                  son	over-trains,	or	over-uses	a	       	 Usually,	 Pitts	 spends	 no	
2003.	 He’s	 come	 a	 long	 way	     Recreation	 and	 Fitness	 Cen-           	 Another	        misconception	        muscle.	                               more	 than	 two	 hours	 at	 the	
from	 his	 Mr.	 Universe	 title,	    ter.	 Besides	 regularly	 play-          surrounding	 weightlifters	 is	         	 Over-training	occurs	when	           gym,	but	last	year	while	play-
but	 even	 his	 transformation	      ing	racquetball	and	climbing	            the	 idea	 that	 their	 lives	 re-      a	 person	 damages	 a	 muscle	         ing	for	the	Minnesota	Junior	
from	Terminator	to	“Govena-          the	 rock	 wall,	 Miller	 lifts	 five	   volve	 around	 the	 gym.	 But	          by	 not	 allowing	 sufficient	         Hockey	 League	 in	 St.	 Louis,	
tor”	 couldn’t	 end	 his	 endur-     times	 a	 week.	 Changing	 his	          Miller’s	 workouts	 motivate	           time	 to	 heal,	 says	 Robert	         he	put	in	four	hours	a	day	on	
ing	role	as	the	butt	of	body-        lifting	 routine	 weekly,	 Miller	       him	even	outside	the	gym,	he	           Gregory,	 a	 KU	 biomechanics	         average.	
building	jokes.                      puts	 in	 between	 an	 hour	 to	         says.	During	his	freshman	year	         professor.                             	 Pitts,	 now	 a	 member	 of	
	 Media	 and	 the	 general	          two	hours	a	day	at	the	gym.	             he	didn’t	go	to	the	gym	or	to	          	 Over-exercising	 certain	            the	 KU	 club	 hockey	 team,	
public	 have	 treated	 fans	 of	     	 His	 roommates	 joke	 that	            most	of	his	classes,	Miller	says.	      muscles	 can	 even	 lead	 to	 a	       says	 teammates	 give	 him	
bodybuilding	—	the	process	          he’s	 an	 exercise	 addict,	 but	        But	 when	 he	 started	 lifting	        decrease	 in	 strength.	 Lifting	      flak	 about	 his	 gym	 sessions,	
of	 building	 muscle	 through	       Miller	 says	 he	 maintains	 a	          weights	 regularly,	 he	 says,	 his	    places	 a	 lot	 of	 stress	 on	 the	   asking	 why	 he	 works	 out	 so	
lifting	 weights,	 increasing	       healthy	 balance	 between	               attendance	 and	 performance	           lumbar	vertebrae,	and	exces-           much.	 It’s	 just	 a	 habit	 and	 a	
caloric	 intake	 and	 rest	 —	 as	   the	 gym	 and	 the	 rest	 of	 his	       in	class	improved.		                    sive	 pressure	 can	 actually	         hobby,	 he	 says,	 something	
punchlines.	       Weightlifters	    life.	 He’s	 not	 a	 “freak”	 about	     	 As	for	being	obsessed	with	           weaken	 the	 spinal	 column,	          that	 makes	 him	 feel	 good	
have	 been	 associated	 with	        working	out,	Miller	says,	even	          exercise,	 actual	 exercise	 ad-        Gregory	 says,	 as	 well	 as	 in-      about	 himself	 and	 brings	
steroid	 use,	 sub-par	 intel-       though	 he	 does	 take	 supple-          diction	 or	 abuse	 is	 uncom-          crease	 the	 possibility	 for	 in-     him	enjoyment.
ligence	 and	 obsessive	 exer-       ments.	                                  mon,	says	Lynn	Millar,	physical	        juries.	                               	 When	 looking	 at	 the	 ben-
cising.	 But	 dedication	 can	       	 He	takes	a	creotine	and	en-            therapy	professor	at	Andrews	           	 Brent	 Pitts,	 Olathe	 fresh-        efits	 these	 lifters	 receive,	 it’s	
be	 misread	 as	 obsession.	         ergy	 supplement	 to	 enhance	           University	 in	 Michigan.	 The	         man,	 realizes	 the	 potential	        difficult	 to	 see	 how	 body-
Withstanding	 jests	 and	 que-       his	 training,	 he	 says.	 It’s	 com-    American	 College	 of	 Sports	          danger	 of	 overworking	 mus-          builders	 got	 a	 bad	 rap.	 But	
ries	 about	 their	 time	 logged	    mon	 for	 people	 to	 associate	         Medicine	 actually	 recom-              cles	 and	 therefore	 developed	       it’s	 clear	 to	 see	 that	 weight-
at	the	gym,	weightlifters	rise	      steroids	 with	 weight	 lifting,	        mends	 daily	 moderate-to-              a	 routine	 to	 ensure	 healthy	       lifting	is	nothing	to	scoff	at.	


                                                                                                                                                                              04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 07
nOTICe                                                                                                RAINE AND RUIGH REVIEW
                                                                                                      NEWS YOU CAN USE



                                                                                                      HAWK TOPICS
   FASHION TREND
                                               ExtRA LONG NECkLACES




                                                                                                    1
                                                   Add dimension while drawing attention by
                                               draping an extra long necklace around your
                                               collar. The length not only catches the eye,                  chinese president hu jintao visits the u.s., meeting with president
                                               but also guides the eye from top to bottom,                   bush and computer impresario bill gates.
                                               creating coordination. “It really pulls an                    Adding to his growing list of forehead-smacking social blunders, Bush offended the Chinese
                                               outfit together by adding layers,” says Jessie                leader at a joint press conference when he said most terrorists were “yella.”
                                               Earleywine, Lawrence junior, who likes to pair




                                                                                                                                                            3
                                               her long neckwear with plain t-shirts.




                                                                                                    2
                                                  The best way to get the layered effect is to
                                               double loop the necklace, having one loop                   THe lAWrenCe CITy COmmISSIOn                              miss kentucky wins
                                               end mid chest and the other slightly above the
                                               navel. Thin chains sprinkled with bright crystals
                                                                                                           CAveS, AllOWS WAl-mArT TO buIld                           the miss usa pageant.

                                               or funky charms are best used for the double                neAr SIxTH And WAKAruSA.                                  Her older brothers
                                                                                                                                                                     congratulated her soon after the
                                               drape. For the classic one-wrap, chunkier or            In truth, the principal of Free State High School
                                                                                                                                                                     victory by dousing her face and
                                               multiple chains look best.                             spearheaded the campaign for approval, saying
                                                                                ß   Liz Nartowicz     “I want my students to know where they’ll be
                                                                                                                                                                     breasts with a pint of “Kentucky
                                                                                                                                                                     Gentleman.”
                                                                                                      working in a few years, if they don’t stop going to
   WESCOE WIT                                                                                         the parking lot every lunch period to smoke the




W
                                                                                                      marijuana cigarettes.”




                                                                                                    4
   Guy 1: Dude, I saw a picture   Guy 1: So my bicep measures      Guy 1: Dude, look at how
   of your burn yesterday.        14.5 inches.                     much weed I just got.                           denise
   Guy 2: Yeah, it was pretty     Guy 2: Well, you know that’s     Guy 2: Where’d you get that?                 richards
   bad, don’t you think?          nothing compared to that         Guy 1: This place. They have                  receives
   Guy 1: Eh, it’s nothing I      woman’s 21 inches.               even more weed than we do!                restraining
   couldn’t do sticking my arm    Guy 1: What?                                                                      order
   in a microwave.                Guy 2: You know, that                                                       against ex-
                                  transvestite woman.
                                  Guy 1: Oh yeah. Wasn’t she a               ßMalinda Osborne                   husband
                                                                                                           charlie sheen.
                                  competitive wrestler?
                                                                                                    Rumors swirled that Sheen
                                                                                                         had threatened to kill
                                                                                                    Richards, but all he actually




                                                                                                                                                            6
                                                                                                       did was invite her to the
                                                                                                          premiere of his latest
                                                                                                         project, Scary Movie 4.                                      track stars and




                                                                                                                                             5
                                                                                                                                                                      sadomasochists
                                                                                                    hippies in lawrence                                               descend on



                                                                                                                                                                                                             7
                                                                                                    celebrate earth                                                   campus for the
                                                                                                    day.                                                              kansas relays.
                                                                                                                                                                      If we wanted to see people
                                                                                                    The Earth responded, saying, “If you                              run really fast, we’d hang out
                                                                                                    guys really want to help me out, start                            at The Hawk until the ABCs
                                                                                                    wearing deodorant … seriously.”                                   showed up.




                                                                                                     7
                                                                                                                embattled former ku running back john rundle
                                                                                                                lands in jail for the sixth time in three years.
                                                                                                                We would write a joke here, but we’re afraid Randle would beat us up.
                                                                                                                Oh, God, there he is! Run!




                                                                                                                                                 8 10
                                                                                                    the lawrence journal-                                        GAS pRICES
                                                                                                    world wins top award                                         ON tHE RISE...
                                                                                                    for newspapers in                                            AGAIN.
                                                                                                    kansas.                                                      To that a-hole at Phi Psi:
                                                                                                                                                                 How do you like your
                                                                                                    The judges reportedly made the decision after a double-      Hummer now?
                                                                                                    blind test in which the LJ-World soaked up 50 percent
                                                                                                    more cat urine than its leading competitor.




                                                                                                    9
                                                                                                                   brawl erupts
                                                                                                                   at abe & jakes
                                                                                                                   saturday night.
                                                                                                                   Apparently, a group of Stephenson
                                                                                                                   schol-hall kids instigated the melee
                                                                                                                   after they mistook Abe & Jakes for The
                                                                                                                   Hawk and realized they (probably)
                                                                                                                   wouldn’t get in.



                                                                                                                                                                              ■ Chris Raine and Dave Ruigh

08 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006
                                                                                                                                                                                                        health


                                Wide aWake
                                                                                                                                   by Marion Hixon


                                                                                                                                                                                       sObe adrenaline rush
                                                                                                                                                                                       Caffeine: 50 milligrams
                                                                                                                                                                                       Calories: 140 (SoBe Adrenaline
                                                                                                                                                                                       Rush Sugar Free has 0 calories)
                                                                                                                                                                                       Tastes Like: “Orange Fanta.
                                                                                                                                                                                       It’s tangy and has a little bit of
                                  a new surge of energy drinks allows you to stretch those 24 hours a little longer.                                                                   a kick to it,” says Laura Frizell,
                                                                                                                                                                                       Lawrence freshman.
                                                                                                                                                                                       Price: $1.99
   On top of an unfinished 10-page       Bull, include taurine or other       coffee, or roughly 75 milligrams.                     Risks
paper, a group project and three         amino acids, which build protein        B-group vitamins can be                The Mayo Clinic reports that
upcoming finals, you probably still      and protect the body. Some           found in most energy drinks.           caffeine increases blood pressure,
need time for working out, going         other drinks contain herbal          They affect your mental well-          insomnia and irritability. Don’t
out, staying up and sleeping in.         supplements, such as ginseng, a      being and work indirectly with         use these energy drinks before                                    cOke blak
And even though you’re ashamed           classic Chinese root, says Bianca    your immune system. B-group            an activity that will naturally                                   Caffeine: 46 milligrams
of your American Idol addiction, it      Storlazzi, a wellness assistant at   vitamins, such as B-6, B-12 and        raise your blood pressure, such as                                Calories: 45
demands at least two hours of your       The Merc, 901 Iowa St. Storlazzi,    folate, help improve the speed         strenuous exercise.                                               Tastes Like: “First you taste
attention each week.                     who is the store’s herb and tea      of information processing and             The natural alternative to                                     the Coke, and then comes the
   It’s no surprise that caffeine will   buyer, recommends another            memory, says a 2000 study by           relying on energy drinks is to                                    coffee. I don’t know if I’d drink
put a perk in your step, but as our      root called hoodia, used by tribal   CSIRO, an Australian scientific        get regular exercise and sleep,                                   it again,” Steven King, Lawrence
dependence on it builds, energy          bushmen for multiple-day hunts.      research      agency.      Storlazzi   while maintaining a healthy                                       freshman, says. John Macias,
drinks that speed up the energizing      “It suppresses your appetite but     recommends B-group vitamins            diet. However, if you’re reaching                                 Wichita freshman, swears it
process are growing in popularity.       also gives you energy,” she says.    as a strong first choice when          for an energy booster at 2 a.m.                                   tastes like flat root beer. He’s
Here’s a breakdown of what’s out            And how much caffeine is          you’re dragging. “Your body            on Sunday night, it may be too                                    not imbibing again anytime
there to tempt your taste buds and       in these cans of energy? Most        doesn’t produce these vitamins         late to consider sleep an option.                                 soon. Still more debate: Wilson
test your longevity.                     energy drinks claim to hold          and minerals naturally,” she           Here’s a guide to the tastes of                                   compares the drink to a
                                         approximately the same amount        says. “They come from our food,        some energy drinks. All are                                       liquefied, toffee-scented Yankee
         Ingredients                     of caffeine — or guarana, a herb     that’s why you’re supposed to          available at most grocery stores                                  Candle.
   Many energy drinks, like Red          containing caffeine — as a cup of    eat well.”                             and gas stations.                                                 Price: $1.49




One addict’s stOry
“    I was probably the only middle school kid
  who had coffee with her frosted flakes in the
  morning,” says Melissa Baranek, Overland Park
  sophomore, who got hooked on her mom’s
  black coffee when she was 11. Since then she’s
  become a bona fide caffeine addict, a Dr. Pepper
  lover and drinker of double espresso shots. And
  while her friends think she’s crazy, Baranek can’t
  get through the morning without her drug of
  choice. After one attempt at quitting, she found
  that caffeine withdrawal gave her migraines
  and achy muscles. “I tried to give up caffeine as a
  senior in high school for Lent,” she says. “I didn’t
  last. I started on Ash Wednesday, and by that



             ”
  Friday I was getting a Dr. Pepper out of a vending
  machine.




 alternatiVes
     Are you bored with a classic cup of joe and
  turned off by energy drinks? Fret not, because
  the caffeine market is expanding daily. Most
  students know they can grab NoDoz or other
  energy aids at most drugstores to help them                                                                                                                                                                   KIT LEFFLER

  finish a late-night paper. But have you tried
  energy powders? The energy boosters can be
                                                                        starbucks dOuble                     aMp energy drink                    rOck star energy                      red bull
  dissolved to digest in a variety of ways. “You can                    shOt espressO                        frOM MOuntain deW                   drink — Juiced                        Caffeine: 80 milligrams;
                                                                                                                                                                                       Calories: 110
  put them in tea, sprinkle them on food, any way
  you want to take it,” says Vanessa Royer, a grocery
                                                                        Caffeine: 121 milligrams
                                                                        Calories: 140
                                                                                                             Caffeine: 75 milligrams
                                                                                                             Calories: 120
                                                                                                                                                 passiOn fruit                         Tastes Like: “Fruit punch and
                                                                        Tastes Like: “Cold coffee in a                                           Caffeine: 75 milligrams               orange soda mixed together,”
  buyer for The Merc. On a sweeter note, there                                                               Tastes Like: “An overly
                                                                        can. I guess I could stand it if I                                       Calories: 105                         Monique Waters, Kansas City,
  are now candies, mints and gum infused with                                                                carbonated Mountain Dew. Kind
                                                                        really needed to stay up,” Jenny                                         Tastes Like: “This tropical flavor    Mo., junior, says. She partakes
  caffeine. Check out ThinkGeek.com for special                                                              of rough to handle,” says Laura
                                                                        Wilson, Topeka sophomore, says.                                          is much more manageable than          in the drink about three times
  caffeine products like Jolt Gum, Buzz Bites                                                                Frizell, Lawrence freshman. Jay
                                                                        Price: $1.99                                                             regular Rock Star,” Benedict says.    a week, but only uses Red Bull
  Chocolate Chews or Foosh Energy Mints. Or to                                                               Benedict, Roseland freshman,
                                                                                                                                                 Natasha Harper, Kansas City,          to mix with vodka, never just to
  rouse your bed-headed roommate, switch his or                                                              rates it higher than Red Bull and
                                                                                                                                                 Kan., junior, says she never uses     stay awake.
  her normal soap with Shower Shock Caffeinated                                                              Rock Star.
                                                                                                                                                 energy drinks but the mango           Price: $1.99
  Soap.                                                                                                      Price: $1.99
                                                                                                                                                 flavor won her over.
                                                                                                                                                 Price: $2.09


                                                                                                                                                                                      04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 09
                        The sinceresT                                                                                                                                                                                                          DreAms Do come true
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Most groups’ initial draw to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             impersonating a band is a love for the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             original. For some, just singing the




                              form of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             songs is enough. For others, every note
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             has to be perfect. Tim Owens, 29, is one
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             of the perfectionists. An office supply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             traveling salesmen by day and Rob
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Halford impersonator in a Judas Priest
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             tribute band by night, Owens is proof
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             that the ultimate dream of a tribute
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             band member can come true.




                             flaTTery
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 In 1993, the real Judas Priest
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             decided to re-form and record
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             another album, but their lead singer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             — the real Rob Halford — had left the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             band. This left them needing a new
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             lead singer. A tape of one of Owens’
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             performances was sent to the band by
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             two Judas Priest fans and after a live
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             audition, in which Owens sang only
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             nine words of “Victim of Changes,”
                                                                                                        by Kristen Maxwell                                                                                                                   he was offered the job. Before joining
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             the band in London, Owens returned
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             to his hometown of Akron, Ohio,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             where he signed his first autograph.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             The lucky recipients were his parents.
                              A look into the world of tribute bands                                                                                                                                                                         It was a picture of him and the band
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             and it read, “Mom and Dad, dreams do
                                  Dave Damm doesn’t look like Neil Diamond.      started really thinking about it,” Brown says. “I                                                                                                           come true. I love you.”
                              His chin-length black hair and lineman build       thought, ‘This is actually kind of brilliant.’” The                                                                                                             Owens, now known as Ripper
                                                                                                                                        Former Dave Diamond guitarist Tim Utter plays with key-
                              hardly suggest he could impersonate the            two recruited four other guys and the band                                                                                                                  Owens, recorded Jugulator, the band’s
                                                                                                                                        board player Bill Suchan and Neil Diamond impersonator
                              singer of a romantic melody like “Hello Again,”    was formed. They are now represented by two                                                                                                                 first album of new material in seven
                                                                                                                                        Dave Diamond at a show at Wichita’s Cotillion in February.
                              but that’s just what he does.                      entertainment agencies, AME Entertainment                                                                                                                   years in 1997. He recorded one more
                                  But of all the performers and bands out        and Omni Entertainment.                                                                                                                                     studio album, two live albums and a
                              there, why Neil? The answer is simple: the            “It’s fun because it’s not very stressful. It’s                                                                                                          DVD in 2002, before leaving the band

                                                                                                                                           “the quality of populAr Music has been going Downhill in
                              Wichita senior loves Neil Diamond. And it          like a novelty,” Brown says.                                                                                                                                to make way for their reunion with
                              shows in an interview as                                                                                                                                                                                       Halford. Owens soon became lead

                                                                                                                                          recent years. someone needs to bring bacK the gooD bands.”
                              much as in performance.                                                         A bit of history                                                                                                               singer for another band, Iced Earth,
                                  Upon calling Damm for an      Ten seconds later he                    Although music critics                                                                                                               and released an album with them in

                                                                                                                                                —Kevin brown, MeMber of More than a feeling,
                              interview, I got his voice mail.                                       claim that tribute bands
                              Ten seconds later he called        called back. “Sorry,                are a new American
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             early 2004.

                              back.
                                  “Sorry, Kristen,” he says,
                                                                Kristen,” he says. “I                phenomenon, tribute bands
                                                                                                     have been showing up                                    a boston tribute band
                              sounding out of breath.           had Neil cranked up                  around the globe, especially
                              “I had Neil cranked up on                                              in the United Kingdom, ever
                              my headphones and was              on my headphones                    since the time of Elvis and
                              practicing some moves in the
                              mirror.”
                                                                 and was practicing                  The Beatles.
                                                                                                        “They (tribute bands)
                                  Damm remembers seventh         some moves in the                   may be more popular or
                              grade, when his mom came                                               well-known now in the
                              home with a Neil Diamond                 mirror.”                      Midwest, but they’ve been
                              cassette. He couldn’t stop                                             around for years,” says Frank
                              listening to it. That year he     —Dave Damm, aka                      J. Moyer, president of AME
                              also saw the marvel in concert
                              for the first time. Ten years
                                                                   Neil Diamond                      Entertainment.
                                                                                                        Moyer signed his first
                              later, Damm celebrates his                                             tribute band 15 years ago
                              love and admiration for the performer and his      when Jimmie Van Zant, first cousin of Lynyrd
                              music with his very own Neil Diamond tribute       Skynyrd lead singer Ronnie Van Zant, was
                              band, Dave Diamond.                                bringing a tribute dedicated to his cousin’s band
                                  Kevin Brown loves and admires another          to Lawrence. Moyer says he recalls watching
                              successful band: Boston. The Kansas City,          them and thinking this was a name he could
                              Mo., junior is a typical college student. He’s a   sell, market and do well with. He quickly began
                              business major, member of Sigma Chi fraternity     representing the band. To date, Moyer and the
                              and he plays the guitar. Brown has been a part     band have put out tribute albums as well as
                              of many original bands, but says nothing is like   three albums of original work.
                              his tribute, More Than a Feeling, named after         Brown says he wouldn’t be surprised if the
                              one of Boston’s greatest hits.                     popularity of tribute bands has increased in
                                  He got involved in the band six months ago     recent years.
                              when his friend and bandmate, Matt Vianello,          “The quality of popular music has been
                              came to him with the idea.                         going downhill in recent years. Someone needs
                                  “After laughing at him for a few minutes, I    to bring back the good bands,” he says.
                                                                                                                                       Jeremy Kiddle plays guitar for Bos-   Dave Damm stars in a Neil Diamond tribute band. He says he   Matt Vianello thought of the idea
                                                                                                                                       ton tribute More Than a Feeling.      “makes the crowd go wild” with cheesy remarks and poses.     to create a Boston tribute.

10 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 11
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11                     original work. Still, older bands that
    Whether they’ve been popular           don’t perform or tour anymore seem
for decades or a few years, these          to be the most popular for replication,
imitations have grown so much in           says Jeff Economy, director of . . . An
popularity that some tribute bands         Incredible Simulation, a documentary
have established their own fan base,       about tribute bands.
adding to the pre-existing fans from          “People want to relive concerts
the original band.                         and the time of their life when they
    Sometimes tributes can be seen         saw these bands,” Economy says. “And
as a “cop-out,” Damm says, because         that seems to be just what they are
they capitalize on someone else’s          doing.”
work. But he and Brown agree that
it’s easier to establish                                        Why bother?

                           “Let’s face it,”
a tribute band than                                            . . . An Incredible
an original one.                                             Simulation follows

                            Damm says.
    “Let’s    face    it,”                                   and explains the
Damm says, as if                                             world of tribute

                           “People like to
shrugging off the                                            bands and takes
critics. “People like to                                     a look into the
sing along and know
the music of the              sing along                     mystery of these
                                                             music enthusiasts,

                            and know the
performer.”                                                  Economy says.
    Not all tribute acts                                         “We wanted to
are as dedicated as
Damm and Brown, yet         music of the                     answer, ‘Why do they
                                                             bother?’” Economy
                                                                                                                                                  From left, Jeremy Watson, Matt Vianello,
                                                                                                                                                  Kevin Brown, James Perryman and Kevin
                             performer.”
some are even more                                           says.                                                                                Cerovich make up More Than a Feeling, a
so. They vary from                                             “Because it’s fun,”                                                                Boston tribute band.
act to act. Some are                                         Damm says, as if it
small and informal                                           should be obvious.
while others have the songs, notes,
costumes, instruments, equipment,
                                              But Moyer says tribute bands can
                                           make a decent amount of money, too.          “there’s no faME or glory in cover
staging and quirky habits down
perfectly. Regardless, a tribute band
                                           Putting it in perspective, Moyer says
                                           original bands make about $50 a gig,      bands. but in tributes, they treat you like
requires dedication.
    As tributes become more popular,
                                           while cover bands make between
                                           $300 and $400 a performance.                            the rEal deal.”
newer singers are starting to inspire
some acts. According to a tribute band
                                           Tributes are even more successful,
                                           bringing in as much as $1,500 or               —Frank J. Moyer, President oF
catalog Web site, tributecity.com,
singers such as Beyonce Knowles,
                                           more per show.
                                              “Whatever we make, it ends up                      aMe entertainMent
Creed and Britney Spears are starting      being about $50 to $100 per person,”
to have tributes established after their   Brown says.                                  This is a typical payment for a           signature white scarf, Damm looks        as possible. Mustaches glued on
                                                                                     start-up tribute, Moyer says, but he         as though he stepped out of a Neil       every performer’s upper lip and loud
                                                                                     insists band members can make a              Diamond concert or                                      printed button-ups
                                                                                     living doing a tribute. He has a few         the movie Saving                                        or cut-off t-shirts
                                                                                     that actually do.                            Silverman. Besides             CHECK ‘EM OUT            paired with jeans, the
                                                                                        “We’re booking them all the time and      the costumes and          Dave Diamond                  six typical college
                                                                                     they are going places like Trinidad to       the songs, Damm           What: Solo performance        students transform
                                                                                     perform,” Moyer says.                        says, it’s the little     at Cinco de Mayo party.       themselves          into
                                                                                        So, besides the fun and the money,        poses and “cheesy”        When: May 5 at 7:00 p.m.      the band, with two
                                                                                     Moyer says, people get into and stay         remarks he does           Where: On the Border,         guys playing Tom
                                                                                                                                                            3080 Iowa St.
                                                                                     with tribute acts because of the             before songs that                                       Scholz’s       multiple
                                                                                     recognition.                                 make the crowd go         What: Full-band               guitar parts and no
                                                                                        “There’s no fame or glory in cover        crazy. He does one of     performance                   Kimberley       Dahme
                                                                                     bands,” says Moyer. “But in tributes, they   his favorites before      When: May 13 at 7:00 p.m.     representative.
                                                                                     treat you like the real deal.”               the song “Cherry,         Where: Jazzhaus                  Economy says it’s
                                                                                                                                  Cherry.”                                                these costumes and
                                                                                                                                                            What: Charity event
                                                                                             A successful tribute                    “ ‘This is my acoustic When: June 24 at 8:00 pm      other personalized
                                                                                        To be treated like the real deal,         guitar’,” Damm says,      Where: Wichita                tidbits that make the
                                                                                     you have to embody the real deal.            doing an impromptu        www.davediamondlive.com       band believable.
                                                                                     Throughout Economy’s research for            imitation of Neil. “‘But                                   “It’s not just about
                                                                                     …An Incredible Simulation, he says,          the only problem          More Than a Feeling           the songs,” he says.
                                                                                                                                                            What: Group performance
                                                                                     he found that the higher the level           with my acoustic          When: May 13                  “It’s about the band’s
                                                                                     of devotion, the more successful the         guitar is that it only    Where: Alley Cats, Lee’s      whole personality.”
                                                                                     band.                                        plays oldies.’ And        Summit, Mo.                      And tributes will
                                                                                        “The more you can be a carbon             then the crowd goes                                     continue to capture
                                                                                     copy, the happier the audience is            wild,” Damm says,         What: Group Performance       these personalities.
                                                                                     going to be,” he says.                       smiling.                  When: April 29                Whether it’s for the
                                                                                                                                                            Where: Beaumont Club,
                                                                                        Damm, although not a physical                More        Than     a Kansas City, Mo.              money, the fun or
                                                                                     look-alike of Neil Diamond, does             Feeling,         Brown’s                                the fans, tributes
                                                                                     a fair amount of preparation for             Boston tribute band,                                    will continue to
                                                                                     his role. Donning a sequined shirt,          also goes to extremes                                   recreate the bands
                                                                                     either silver or gold, and Neil’s            to make themselves as believable they — and we — love.

                                                                                                                         ALL PHOTOS COuRTESy OF DAVE DAMM AND KEVIN BROWN



                                                                                                WHaT’S IN a NaME
                                                                                                The names of tribute bands are usually a pun of the         Bootylicious: a Destiny’s Child tribute
                                                                                                original band. Here are some of the names found on          Dookie: a Green Day tribute
                                                                                                tributecity.com.                                            Stone Free: a Jimmy Hendrix tribute
                                                                                                                                                            Departure: a Journey tribute
                                                                                                Fully Clothed Gents: a Barenaked Ladies tribute             Ricky La Vida Loca: a Ricky Martin tribute
                                                                                                Hotplay: a Coldplay tribute                                 Proud Mary: a Tina Turner tribute
                                                           Kevin Brown
12 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006
A FAst Fix
                                                                                                                                                                                                         BitE

                                                                                                When it comes to food, sometimes less really is more
    by Erin Wisdom

   When Ryan Pierce went on          kinds, he says, because it’s
a juice fast, he was looking for     safer and easier to maintain.
a quick remedy. The former KU        Juice provides calories and
student says he’d spent too          nutrients, which support the
long destroying his body and         body nutritionally and enable
needed a way to rebuild it.          it to recover more quickly after
He smoked cigarettes, drank          the fast.
several times a week and never           A person should work up
paid much attention to his           to longer fasts by first going
diet. He wanted to detoxify          on ones that last only one or
his system and, as a full-time       two days, Haas says. It is also
student with a part-time job, he     important, he says, to come
needed a method that didn’t          off of solid foods gradually in
require a lot of time.               the days before the fast and to
   Nine days on nothing but          reintroduce them into the diet
water and all-natural juice did      equally slowly in the days that
the job. Pierce had to remain as     follow it. In order for the fast to
inactive as possible to conserve     cleanse the body as much as
energy, he says, but during the      possible, it’s vital that the juices
fast he began to feel better. He     be free of preservatives.
could breathe more easily and,           Preservatives may not be
in general, he just felt healthier   as much of an issue, though,
— cleaner.                           if a person is fasting for
   Although weight loss wasn’t       spiritual     purposes.       Elmer
Pierce’s purpose for fasting, he     Towns, author of Fasting for
did lose 10 pounds in the nine       Spiritual Breakthrough, doesn’t
days he didn’t eat. The weight       mind drinking juice with
loss didn’t stick — he gained        preservatives when he fasts.
back the pounds soon after               “I don’t get upset about
returning to solid food. What        additives because I believe God
did stay with Pierce after his       looks at the heart,” he says. “He
fast, though, was a sense of how     doesn’t look at what goes into
to better care for himself. Now,     the mouth.”
almost two years after his nine-         Spiritual fasts should always
day detox, he has quit smoking       be accompanied by prayer,
and eats healthier than he did       Towns says. The purpose of
before.                              going without food is not to
   Both the physical and             impress God, he says, but rather
spiritual benefits of fasting        to take prayer to a higher level
have long been recognized.           and to demonstrate sincerity.
Despite these advantages,                Spiritual fasts can have
fasting requires caution and         physical benefits, as well, even
isn’t for everyone.                  if those benefits are not their
   Fasting cleanses the body by      main purpose. Towns says that
increasing the processes that        when he had a check-up during
release toxins from the colon,       a 40-day fast, the doctor told
kidneys, bladder, lungs, sinuses     him he was in better health
and skin, says Elson Haas,           than anyone he’d ever seen.
author of Staying Healthy with       Fasting for such a long time
Nutrition: The Complete Guide        made him weak, Towns says,
to Diet and Nutritional Medicine.    but also healthier.
Fasting also allows many of              Like Towns, Chris Carter fasts
the body’s systems a chance to       for spiritual reasons. The Kansas
rest. Haas believes that much        City, Kan., junior says he has
disease is due to “biochemical       fasted during difficult times
suffocation,” which occurs           as a way of calling on God for
when cells don’t adequately          help. At other times, he’s done
eliminate their wastes. Fasting,     it as a reminder to himself of                                                                                                                                       KIT LEFFLER
he says, allows each cell the        the people in the world who            both food and water — one of            should not fast at all.
opportunity to catch up on           experience hunger on a regular         the most distinctive things he’s            Haas emphasizes, however,
its work of eliminating these        basis.                                 felt has been the sensation of          that if a person meets the                                         Juice Stop
toxins.                                  Most of his fasts are only a       his blood thinning.                     physical requirements and         where to find                812 Massachusetts St.
   “Fasting is like turning off      day long, Carter says, and he              “It feels kind of like your foot    takes the proper precautions,     fAsting- friendLY             4821 W. Sixth St.
and cleaning a complex and           usually drinks only water during       falling asleep,” he says.               abstaining from food can be             fAre                    3514 Clinton Pkwy.
valuable machine so that it will     them. He says these one-day               Haas warns that not everyone         incredibly healthy.                                             Juice Stop makes drinks with
function better and longer,” he      fasts aren’t too difficult, and        is a good candidate for long                “From a medical point of                                    all-natural juices, and offers a
says.                                that most of the time they leave                                                                                  The Community
                                                                            fasts. If fasting is overused, it can   view, I believe that fasting is                                 protein booster option.
   True fasting is the avoidance     him feeling cleaner inside. The                                                                                  Mercantile
                                                                            lead to nutritional deficits and        not utilized often enough,” he
of all food and drink, and the       four-to-six-day fasts he’s done                                                                                  901 Iowa St.
                                                                            lowered immunity rather than            says. “We go on vacations from
next-strictest form allows only      made him feel weak and sleepy,                                                                                   The Merc carries organic        Freshens Smoothie
                                                                            having a positive, cleansing            work to relax, recharge and to
water. The most common fast,         but not necessarily hungry.            effect. He adds that some               gain new perspectives on our      juices.                       Company at the
however, allows both water and       Carter says during some of his         people, including those who are         life — why not take occasional                                  Kansas Union
juice. Haas usually recommends       longer fasts — especially those        underweight, pregnant or who            breaks from food?”                   The Underground               Sells blended smoothies.
this juice fast rather than other    in which he’s gone without             have serious health problems,                                                Sells Odwalla juices.
                                                                                                                                                                                 04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 13
                                                                                                  KISS THE COOK                                                                                BITE
                                                                                                  rich chocolate
            Lied Center of Kansas                                                                 mousse
                     www.lied.ku.edu • 785.864.2787
                                                                                                   Ingredients:
                Half-Price Tickets for KU Students!                                                8 squares (1 ounce each) semisweet
        Available at Lied Center, University Theatre, and SUA Ticket Offices.                      chocolate
                                                                                                   3 tablespoons confectioners’ sugar
 The Royal Carl Rosa Opera’s award-winning production of Gilbert & Sullivan’s classic              3 tablespoons hot strong coffee
                                                                                                   3 egg yolks
                             T                                                                     1 carton (8 ounces) frozen whipped
                                                                                                   topping, thawed
                             H
                             E                                                                     In a double boiler over simmering water,
                                                                                                   melt chocolate. Remove top pan from
                                                                                                   heat; stir in sugar and coffee. Add one yolk
                                                                                                   at a time, stirring until smooth. Place top

                           Thursday, May 4 – 7:30 p.m.                                             pan over boiling water; cook and stir for
                                                                                                   3-4 minutes or until thick. Pour into bowl;
                                                                                                   chill 6-8 minutes. Fold in 3 cups whipped
                                                              This re-creation of                  topping. Spoon into dishes. Top with
                                                                                                   whipped topping. Makes four servings.
                                                                                                                                                                                         Source: www.tasteofhome.com
                                                                                                                                                                                                           ■ Melissa Byrd
                                                      W.S. Gilbert’s 1885 opera
                                                      is a hilarious tale of love,
                                                               marriage, “trials,”
                                                       tribulations and heroics.
                                                                                                  ÓPOST-DRINKS EATS                                                                                            ■ Carrie   Hillard
                                                                                                    Let’s face it: drunk food is the best food, and a burrito always hits the spot after a night of drinking. If
                                                                                                    you have tortillas, cheese and whatever vegetables and meat you like at home, burrito satisfaction is only
                                                             Featuring lavish costumes              45 microwaved seconds and a tortilla-rolling away. If you prefer to pay someone to make your burrito,
                                                                                                    hit up any of these:
                                                                 and settings from the              Chipotle, open ‘til 10 p.m. Taco Bell, open ‘til 3 a.m.   Taco John’s, open ‘til 12 a.m.          Qdoba, open ‘til 10 p.m.
                                                              Academy Award-winning                 911 Massachusetts St.       1220 W. Sixth St.             23rd and Haskell Streets                945 Massachusetts St.
                                                                                                    4000 W. Sixth St.           1408 W. 23rd St.              1101 W. Sixth St.
                                                                     film Topsy-Turvy.                                                                         23rd and Ousdahl Streets
                                                  Tickets:   785.864.2787   TDD:   785.864.2777

                                 Paid for by KU




                                                                                                                                                                               Sophisticated
                                                                                                                                                                              Professional Style


                                                                                                                                                                               928 Massachusetts
                                                                                                                                                                              Downtown Lawrence
                                                                                                                                                                         843-0611 • www.theetcshop.com
14 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006
REVIEWS
                                                                                                         FRIENDS WITH MONEY
          Elan Vital
                                                                                                         MOVIE
                                                                                                              The perceptive and funny Friends             recognizable, is mediocre in a role that
                                                                                                          With Money thoughtfully examines the             any thirty-something actress could
                                                                                                          relationships and friendships of four            handle.
                                                                                                          thirty-something friends in Los Angeles.             The best aspects of the movie belong
          MUSIC                                                                                           The film depicts three wealthy women,            to her three friends, who give it a realistic


          by Pretty Girls Make Graves
                                                                                                          played by Catherine Keener, Joan Cusack          poignancy with their revelations and
                                                                                                          and Francis McDormand, all of whom are           disappointments. Catherine Keener
                                                                                                          married, and their single, blue-collar friend,   shines as the wife of an insensitive man,
                                                                                                          Jennifer Aniston. The financial divide is        and Joan Cusack provides the comedy
                                                                                                          apparent in the opening scenes of the film,      effortlessly. In a challenging and often
             Élan Vital is one of Seattle-based Pretty      A lot of this is thanks to the addition of    which shows Aniston’s character cleaning a       changing character, Francis McDormand
          Girls Make Graves’ most exciting albums        keyboardist Leona Marrs, who also plays          house for her job as a maid, while the other     has the most material to work with, which
          to date. PGMG dabbles in a variety of          melodica and accordion. Take “Pyrite             three women are remodeling houses and            she realistically and capably handles.
          styles and continues to evolve their huge      Pedestal,” one of the most upbeat tracks         chatting about fundraisers. Because there            One of the main problems with the
          sound. While bands, like Nickelback, are       on the album or the insanely catchy              is no plot to this film, one would think it is   film is that the friendship between
          content with releasing the same album          “The Number” — both feature great                not engaging enough to sustain anyone’s          Aniston’s character and her diverse
          over and over again, the members of            memorable keyboard leads. “Pearls On A           attention.                                       friends is very hard to buy. The three
          PGMG don’t repeat themselves.                  Plate” features heavy strings and a dreamy           Surprisingly, though, the film is            wealthy women gossip and say they are
                                                         feel, a total surprise to any PGMG fan.          interesting, as it drifts through marriage       concerned about Aniston’s character and
                                                            Vocalist Andrea Zollo says it best on         troubles, aging and financial woes with a        aren’t overly friendly to her when they are
                                                         “Pyrite Pedestal”: The real tragedy is that      fresh wit and believable characters.             around one another.
                                                         your act is just boring and old, further             The film’s version of a plot consists            In the end, Friends With Money quietly
                                                         showing PGMG’s desire to never repeat            of all the characters gossiping about            impresses with its bold and truthful
                                                         themselves. And that’s one of the things         each other. Aniston, who is the most             script and layered performances. This film
                                                         that make Élan Vital a very exciting album.                                                       proves, through the tumultuous lives of
                                                                                                                                                           these women, that money doesn’t solve
                                                         ★★★★                                                                                              everything.

                                                                                      ■ Chris Brower                                                       South Wind 12
                                                                                                                                                           Rated: R, 88 minutes


                                                                                                                                                           ★★★★
                                                                                                                                                                                       ■ Sarah Tucker

     ★ You’ll wish you were dead ★★ You'll want to leave the theater early ★★★ You'll say "eh" ★★★★ You'll rave to everyone who asks ★★★★★ You’ll have a religious experience




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    Now.
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  kansan.com
                                                                                                                                                                   04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 15
                                                                                                                                                                                        REVIEWS
       American Dreamz
        MOVIE
                                                                                                          GAME


                                                                                                          24: THE GAME
          Satire, when done well,
       can inspire. And satire of a
       political nature can instigate
       change. But political satire
       with no cleverness or hint
       of originality can cause a                                                                            I hope that a person like    innovation to encompass          Bauer character if I didn’t
       desire to bang one’s head                                                                          Jack Bauer exists in the        all the aspects of the series.   hear Kiefer Sutherland say:
       against a hard surface, and                                                                        world, because I feel a lot     The mini-games are mostly        “Damn it!” a few times.
       that is what it feels like to                                                                      safer knowing that he is out    of the press-the-correct-           24: The Game makes
       watch American Dreamz.                                                                             there fighting terrorism.       button-at-the-right-time         it possible for players to
          A self-confessed and
                                                                                                             If you watch 24, then        variety.                         experience Jack Bauer’s job.
                                                                                                          you already know the main          A downside of the game        The game doesn’t leave out
       unashamed Mandy Moore                                                                              premise of the game. It’s       is its use of split screens.     any aspect of the show.
       fan, I am concerned if this      Grant. Then there’s Dennis      plotting to smuggle a bomb        up to you, as Jack Bauer        Sure, it’s a neat part of the
       is the type of film she will     Quaid, doing his best George    into the final show to kill the   and Co., to stop a terrorist    show, but it’s not necessary,      System: PlayStation 2
       be gravitating toward in         Bush impression, which is       president.                        plot in 24 hours. The game      especially     during     the
       the future. But Moore, as a      possibly the worst George          The sheer amount of            stresses this the same way      middle of gameplay. The            ★★★
       wannabe star participating       Bush impression ever caught     stupidity astounds. I was         the show does, by making        quick switch of camera
       on an American Idol-like         on film/video, complete with    hoping      that they were        every mission a race against    angels and new shots of                      ■ Chris Moore
       show, is only part of the        southern drawl and idiotic      making the characters
                                                                                                          the clock. This gives a sense   the area are annoying.
       problem. She is aided by
                                                                                                          of urgency to the player,          Also, the driving aspect
                                        meanderings.                    deliberately ridiculous in        saying: you must do this or     of the game is terrible.
       Hugh Grant, who usually has         The plot, as contrived as    order to make a point but         the terrorists will win.        Most of the driving has to
       enough charm to make even        this may seem, is concerned     no point ever came. If this          This game isn’t about        do with getting away from
       films like Two Weeks Notice      with the President who,         is a correct reflection of        going into the field and        enemies.      However, the
       watch-able, but, in American     in order to win popular         the American people, a            shooting everything that        big problem is an inability
       Dreamz, tries to emulate         appeal, appears as a guest      collective shudder should         walks. It incorporates many     to successfully get away.
       Simon Cowell, a daunting         judge on the uber-popular       resound from coast to coast.      aspects of the TV show.         You’re better off just trying
       task in itself. Mostly, Grant    show, American Dreamz,                                            The player has to defuse        to kill them and get to your
       just annoys everyone, which      hosted by Grant. Moore is a     South Wind 12
                                                                                                          bombs, break into secure        destination in time.
       Simon does, but with a little
                                                                                                          places, sneak around and,          The voice acting is a
                                        Southern belle willing to do    Rated: PG-13, 115 minutes         yes . . . shoot people. The     definite plus for the game.
       more poise. I just wanted        anything to win. Meanwhile                                        game uses other aspects         The actors from the series
       him off the screen as soon       Omar (Sam Golzari), has                                           of Counter Terrorism Unit       lend their voices for their
       as possible and I normally       been chosen as a token Arab
                                                                        ★
                                                                                  ■ Lindsey Ramsey
                                                                                                          practices in the form of        digital selves. I don’t think
       would never wish that of         contestant but he is secretly                                     mini-games. This is another     I could fully respect a Jack




16 JAYPLAY 04.27.2006
             contact


                 Through thick and thin
                       by Rachel Zupek

  How to cope when     	 Eight	 months	 into	 her	 relationship	
                       with	an	ex-boyfriend,	Stacey,	Memphis	
                                                                       what	 he	 was	 going	 through	 helped	 about	themselves.	
                                                                       tremendously,	 she	                                                 	          S t a c e y	
                                                                                                                                                                      enjoyed.	 “Sometimes	 I’d	 lie	 about	
                                                                                                                                                                      what	 I	 was	 doing	 because	 I	 didn’t	
                       senior,	 told	 him	 that	 she	 thought	 it	
your partner suffers
                                                                       says.                                                               says	 that	 small	         want	him	to	get	mad	or	upset	at	me,”	
                       was	 time	 to	 take	 a	 break.	 Soon	 after,	
                       he	 attempted	 suicide	 by	 overdosing	
                                                                       	 Addressing	 the	
                                                                       problem	 with	 your	
                                                                                                    depression statistics                  things,	          like	
                                                                                                                                           just	 letting	 her	
                                                                                                                                                                      she	says.	“It	was	like	I	was	walking	on	
                                                                                                                                                                      pins	and	needles.”
   from depression     on	pills.	That’s	when	she	knew	he	had	
                       a	problem.
                                                                       loved	 one	 can	 be	
                                                                       hard,	 but	 once	 it’s	
                                                                                                        18.8	million	American	             boyfriend	 talk	
                                                                                                                                           and	      assuring	
                                                                                                                                                                      	 While	 Stacey’s	 reactions	 were	
                                                                                                                                                                      natural,	Goldberg	says,	healthy	people	
                       	 Each	 year,	 depression	 affects	 an	                                        adults	suffer	from	clinical	
                                                                       out	 in	 the	 open,	                                                him	 that	 she	            need	to	respect	that	there’s	going	to	be	
                       estimated	 19	 million	 Americans	 (not	                                       depression.	That	is	9.5	
                                                                       seeking	 treatment	                                                 was	 there	 if	 he	        times	 when	 the	 depressed	 individual	
                       to	 mention	 their	 partners),	 according	                                     percent	of	the	adult	
                                                                       is	 the	 next	 step	 to	                                            needed	           her,	    just	won’t	want	to	do	anything.	“Have	
                       to	 the	 National	 Mental	 Health	                                             population.
                                                                       recovery,	Goldberg	                                                 helped	         their	     the	ability	to	do	things	independently	
                       Association.	M aintaining	a 	r elationship	
                                                                       says.	 If	 there’s	 an	                                             relationship.              and	don’t	assume	that	they	don’t	want	
                       with	 a	 depressed	 individual	 can	 be	                                         35	million	Americans	
                                                                       extreme	 chemical	                                                  	          W h i l e	      to	 spend	 time	 with	 you,	 but	 that	 the	
                       frustrating	 and	 draining.	 The	 good	                                        (more	than	16	percent	of	
                                                                       imbalance,	            the	                                         s u p p o r t i n g	       person	wants	alone	time,”	she	says.	
                       news	 is,	 depression	 is	 treatable,	                                         the	population)	suffer	from	
                                                                       best	 combination	                                                  your	 depressed	           	 It’s	 difficult	 to	 stay	 calm	 and	
                       and	 by	 taking	 the	 right	 steps,	 your	                                     depression	severe	enough	to	
                                                                       is	 therapy	 and	                                                   partner	             is	   confident	 when	 your	 loved	 one	 is	
                       relationship	can	survive.                                                      warrant	treatment	at	some	
                                                                       m e d i c a t i o n ,	       	                                      i m p o r t a n t ,	       so	 unhappy,	 but	 any	 partner	 of	 a	
                       	 Educating	         yourself	       about	                                    time	in	their	lives.	
                                                                       because	 it	 can	                                                   Goldberg	 says,	           depressed	individual	should	realize	it’s	
                       depression	 is	 the	 first	 step	 in	 a	
                                                                       help	 someone	 get	                                                 the	       healthy	        normal	 to	 be	 upset	 by	 this	 situation,	
                       relationship	 with	 someone	 who’s	                                              Women	are	almost	twice	
                                                                       better,	she	says.	                                                  i n d i v i d u a l	       Webber	 says.	 “Even	 if	 you’re	 at	 your	
                       depressed,	 says	 Debbie	 Goldberg,	                                           as	likely	as	men	to	fall	prey	
                                                                       	 Even	 though	 it	                                                 s h o u l d	               wits’	end	because	your	loved	one	has	
                       a	 Lawrence	 licensed	 psychologist.	                                          to	the	disease,	while	men	are	
                                                                       may	 be	 difficult,	                                                realize	         that	     lost	 the	 ability	 to	 raise	 a	 smile,	 or	 to	
                       “Clinical	 depression	 isn’t	 just	 when	                                      far	less	likely	to	look	for	help.
                                                                       support	 is	 the	                                                   modeling	 “non-            appreciate	any	of	the	good	moments	
                       you	 get	 the	 blues	 and	 the	 next	 day	                                     	          	
                                                                       best	 way	 to	 help	                                                d e p r e s s e d ”	       in	 life,	 try	 to	 accept	 that	 all	 these	
                       you	 feel	 better,”	 she	 says.	 “It’s	 a	                                     Source: National Institute of
                                                                       a	          depressed	                                              b e h a v i o r	           things	 are	 simply	 a	 part	 of	 this	 awful	
                       mental	 illness	 that	 debilitates	 some	                                      Mental Health
                                                                       loved	 one,	 says	                                                  is	    a	      good	       illness,”	she	says.		
                       people,	 so	 it’s	 important	 to	 know	
                                                                       Christine	 Webber,	                                                 thing.	      Doing	
                       what	depression	actually	is.”
                                                                       p s y c h o t h e r a p i s t	                                      something	 you	
                       	 Stacey	 says	 that	 once	 her	 ex	                                                                                                            Suicide Prevention Services offers
                                                                       in	 the	 United	                                                    enjoy	 can	 have	
                       admitted	to	her	that	he	was	depressed,	                                                                                                         hotlines 24 hours a day, seven days a
                                                                       Kingdom	 and	 author	 of	 Get the a	positive	influence	on	the	depressed	
                       she	ran	the	occasional	Google	search,	                                                                                                          week.
                                                                       Happiness Habit. 	 When	 depressed	 individual,	she	says.
                       but	 she	 learned	 most	 from	 what	 her	                                                                                                       Suicide hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE
                                                                       people	 are	 in	 good	 relationships,	 she	 		 Stacey	 says	 that	 even	 though	 she	
                       boyfriend	taught	her	firsthand.	Talking	                                                                                                        Depression hotline: (630) 482-9696
                                                                       says,	 the	 positive	 feelings	 from	 the	 wanted	 to	 help	 her	 boyfriend,	 she	
                       about	 it	 and	 knowing	 more	 about	
                                                                       relationship	can	help	them	feel	better	 felt	 guilty	 when	 she	 did	 things	 she	




                                                                                                                                                                              did you know...?
                                                                                                                                                                              Christine	Webber,	author	of	Get
                                                                                                                                                                              the Happiness Habit, offers	advice	
                                                                                                                                                                              on how	partners	of	depressed	
                                                                                                                                                                              people	can	help	themselves	and	
                                                                                                                                                                              their	relationship:

                                                                                                                                                                                 Don’t	keep	saying	you	know	
                                                                                                                                                                              what	your	partner	is	going	
                                                                                                                                                                              through	—	you	don’t.
                                                                                                                                                                                 Don’t	despair.	
                                                                                                                                                                                 Encourage	your	partner	to	get	
                                                                                                                                                                              all	the	professional	help	available.
                                                                                                                                                                                 Remember:	It’s	exactly	as	if	your	
                                                                                                                                                                              partner	was	recovering	from	a	
                                                                                                                                                                              serious	physical	illness	or	from	
                                                                                                                                                                              surgery.	Give	plenty	of	tender	
                                                                                                                                                                              love	and	care	and	don’t	expect	
                                                                                                                                                                              improvement	to	be	rapid.
                                                                                                                                                                                 Spend	time	every	day	doing	
                                                                                                                                                                              nice	things	for	yourself.
                                                                                                                                                                                 Remember	that	this	period	
                                                                                                                                                                              of	your	life	will	pass,	and	that	
                                                                                                                                                                              your	partner	is	the	same	person	
                                                                                                                                                                              underneath	as	he	or	she	was	
                                                                                                                                                                              before.




                                                                                                                                              SCOTT	KASERMAN
                                                                                                                                                                             04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 17
                                                 BITCH +
                                                                                                                       Jessica Crowder




                                                                       moan
                                                                    Brian Bratichak

                                                Please send your
                                                   questions to


                  ecials wn!
                                               bitch@kansan.com

               Sp
         T TEST rs in To
  T he HO ST Bee
          E
     COLD atscreen TV” HD
                        s                        some TIme ago I made ouT                                             is it true that
   &        Fl       95                            wITH a same-sex frIend                                            you can’t get

    5 HD
                        ree        s                                                                                   pregnant in
                   nd th on Screen
                                                  of mIne. we were preTTy
  1              a
                        cti                    wasTed. I know we are BoTH                                              a swimming
                  Proje                            HeTerosexual, BuT BoTH                                            pool? —claire,
                                                                                                                           freshman
                                                  of us enjoyed IT. do you
                                               THInk IT makes us BIsexual?                                    Jessica: That depends on a number of
                                                                                                              factors. If you’re having unprotected
                                                   — guzman, sopHomore                                        sex in any kind of water (ocean,
 $2.25 23oz Domestic                            Jessica: Think of all
                                                                                                              bathtub, pool, Jacuzzi), you can
                                                                                                              definitely get pregnant. However, if
       Sluggers                                 the girls you know
                                                that make out with
                                                                              Brian: If it walks like a
                                                                              duck and sounds like
                                                                                                              there is merely semen in the water
                                                                                                              in which you’re swimming, then you
  $3.25 23oz Import                             other girls while drunk.      a duck, it’s probably a         most likely will not get pregnant.

       Sluggers                                 Do you think they’re
                                                bisexual? More than
                                                                              duck. You’re bisexual.
                                                                              Being at college is a
                                                                                                              Chlorine, the amount of water and the
                                                                                                              cold temperature of pools prevent
       $1 Wells   $2 14oz Domestic              likely, they’re either
                                                experimenting or doing
                                                                              great time to try new
                                                                              things and express
                                                                                                              sperm from living very long. The
                                                                                                              same rules of dry land sex apply to
                     $2 Margaritas              it for the attention          yourself. Test it out with      underwater sex. Unprotected sex or
                                                of rowdy, drunken             your friend or another          even sex with a faulty condom can get
                       $2 Wells                 males. Either way, I’m        guy to decide how               you pregnant if no alternate methods
                                                guessing most of them         much you really like            of birth control are used.
                                                aren’t bisexual. If you       men. If it’s just a phase,
                                                enjoyed it, however,          it’ll just have been a          Brian: It’s definitely true you can’t get
    $2 U-Call-It                                it’s a possibility. Talk to   “college thing.” If you         pregnant in a swimming pool. Sperm
                                                him about it and see          really like it, you’ll be       are actually afraid of water, and when
 $2 Domestic Bottles                            how he feels. I don’t         able warn all your future       a man has sex in water, he actually
  $2 14oz Domestic                              think a single act with
                                                someone of the same
                                                                              girlfriends. Being shy
                                                                              about it can make your
                                                                                                              doesn’t ejaculate. Unless you’re
                                                                                                              swimming in a pool filled with sperm.
       $2 Calls                                 sex is cause for a label      life a living hell later on.    If that’s the case, I recommend you call
                                                of sexual orientation,        Imagine the backlash            a sperm bank and tell them you’ve hit
                                                but think about what          if you’re married for           the jackpot. Then sell it to them and
                         $2 Import Bottles      you’re attracted to the       15 years and never              you’ll never have to work another day
                        $2.50 23oz Domestic     majority of the time .
                                                . . women? Men? Just
                                                                              fully expressed your
                                                                              bisexuality. Imagine
                                                                                                              in your life. Yes, you moron, you can get
                                                                                                              pregnant. It’s a line probably invented
                              Sluggers          ask yourself these
                                                questions, and I’m sure
                                                                              your wife coming home
                                                                              to find you in bed with
                                                                                                              by a guy so that some girl would have
                                                                                                              sex with him in a pool. She believed
                                                it will become clearer        your 24-year-old male           him, told all her friends and now you’re
                                                to you.                       secretary. Remember:            keeping that man’s brilliant brainstorm
                                                                              hell hath no fury like a        going. So, on behalf of every guy who’s
                                                                              woman scorned.                  scored pool sex, thanks, Claire.

   $2.75 Select 23oz
 $2 23oz Dom. Sluggers
                                               with the mumps apparently taking over kansas, i’ve heard men
   Import Sluggers                             can go sterile from the disease. is this true? ‘cause that’d be
                                               awesome! — clint, freshman
                         $2 Domestic Bottles
                                               Brian: “Hey baby, I had             depleting eggs. While mumps        baby, I had my vas deferens
                          $2 14oz Domestics    the mumps and now I’m               actually can cause infertility     cut, so now I’m sterile. Wanna
                                               sterile. Wanna have some            in men, it’s not as common as      have some amazing, no-
                                               amazing, no-pregnancy-risk,         people think. Only about 25        pregnancy-risk, unprotected
                                               animalistic, unprotected sex?”      percent of men who contract        sex?”
                                               That’ll be a great line for you     mumps become sterile. So
                                               to use while you’re in college,     if you do get mumps, which         Jessica: Yes, that’s true. Have
                                               but past that, women will           is highly unlikely, your odds      at it, ladies. That is, of course, if
 $3 Select 23oz Import Sluggers                be more keen on getting a           of being infertile are one in      you want the mumps, too.
                                               man with very motile sperm          four. If you really want a good
        $2 Bloody Marys                        to pair up with their rapidly       pick-up line, try this: “Hey

18 jayplay 04.27.2006
                                                                                                                                                                                          SPEAK


                         Sweet teeth
                             To avoid seeing the syringe and           recent shopping spree behind books           my sugar appetite when I visited my        up their birthday cakes each April. I
                         pointy metal objects coming at my face,       and in my dresser drawers. I hid my          California Grandma. When I’d hear          no longer felt the need to hide my
                         I painstakingly try to fixate on a ceiling    hankering for sweets because my              Pavlov’s bell ringing on a distant ice     addiction.
                         poster of furry puppies scampering in a       parents emphasized self-discipline, and I    cream cart rolling across the boardwalk,      Now, out of my parents’ house and
                         hazy spring meadow. WhrrrrWhrrrWhrrr.         was eager to please, plié-ing all over the   my grandma would urge me with a $5         their supervision, I eat enough sugar-
                         Eureka! It’s a cavity — lucky cavity          studio in ballet class, tripping over my     bill to buy fudge-centered drumsticks.     laden products to induce an insulin
                         number 21. The dentist wipes off the          own feet playing soccer and eating in        Extremely shy, I rarely approached         coma. I make it a point to eat dessert
                         enamel residue accumulating on his            moderation at their urging.                  strangers, but I was not one to miss out   with each meal, sometimes replacing it
                         spectacles, shakes out his wrists and            The school lunches my mom made            on an opportunity for dessert. For my      as a meal altogether, and it serves as an
                         drills further.                               for me in grade school were the worst.       grandma, ice cream was practical relief    indulgence, a simple pleasure, in my life
                             “Charissa, are you brushing regularly?”   Not only did I have to go an entire day      from the sweltering heat. I was as giddy   of moderation.
                         he asks with a raised eyebrow. I slightly     dessertless, but my lunch also lacked        as a kid on Christmas morning as I tore       I admit that the pendulum of my
                         nod my head, trying not to disrupt the        popular appeal. Against school rules,        away the ice cream wrapper and bit into    addiction has swung into an extreme
Coping with the          excavation party going on in my mouth.
                         I think back to the half-dozen chocolate
                                                                       students would smuggle in junk food,
                                                                       reinforcing their godliness among
                                                                                                                    the chocolate shell, careful not to drop
                                                                                                                    a morsel.
                                                                                                                                                               overconsumption of desserts, with my
                                                                                                                                                               poor parents footing my dentist bills.

pains of dessert         chip cookies I ate the day before, to the
                         pineapple cake I ate for breakfast all last
                                                                       deprived sweet fiends like myself. To my
                                                                       awe, they quietly, yet proudly, displayed
                                                                                                                        It’s not as if my parents forbade
                                                                                                                    me to eat sweets (I was a twiggy
                                                                                                                                                               I don’t know if my parents know the
                                                                                                                                                               extent of my addiction, but I assume

       addiction
                         week, to the countless Sylas and Maddy’s      their contraband of tooth-rotting cans       thing and could have used the extra        that they recognize that my frequent
                         ice cream outings and mini Snicker bars,      of Dr. Pepper and candy bars alongside       calories), but their constant harping      dentist visits are not the norm. I may
                         and I wonder if it’s all been worth it.       their creamy peanut butter-and-jelly         on moderation and sensibility led me       have not grown up to be the graceful
     by Charissa Young       For a long time I was in denial about     crustless white bread sandwiches. I          to feel guilty about my addiction. As a    ballerina or goal-scoring Mia Hamm
                         my addiction. I remember when I was           frowned as I tried to quietly unvelcro       young adult, I began to taste my sense     that they had hoped I would be,
                         just tall enough to climb onto the            my thermal lunch sack for my sensible        of independence — independence             but I am indebted to them for their
                         kitchen counter to steal extra helpings       meal of bologna on wheat bread, crusts       from my role as the abiding daughter,      unwavering support throughout
                         of Oreo cookies from the cookie jar. I        intact, washed down with a mysteriously      represented by me no longer restricting    my life, from the failures to the
                         also remember my transparent denial           flavored Capri Sun, rounded out with an      my diet. When I moved to Kansas for        toothaches. I am a sugarholic and
                         when my parents confronted me about           apple or occasional pudding cup for the      high school, I became known to my          proud of it, even if it means another
                         the stuffing-less chocolate shells left       finale. Dessert, my ass.                     friends as “Sweet Cheeks,” thanks to       drill session — the pain has never
                         behind. I’d stash bags of candy from a           I found release in openly feeding         my penchant for sweets as I hoovered       been so sweetly worth it.




                         SCOTT KASERMAN
                                                                                                                                                                     04.27.2006 JAYPLAY 19
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              Drinks                 Bottles                                                                        Bottles                 Flavored Drinks        $3 Puckertinis

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              Liters Micro/                                                               Cans, $2 HighLife         Domestic/$1.50          Bottles                $4 Doubles
              Imported Beer:                                                              Tallboys                  Micro/$1.75             $2 Micro Pints
              $2.25 Draws/$4                                                                                        Import                                         LIVE MUSIC
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              Shots
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              Anything               Domestic                   Energy Drinks             Mary                      $2 Domestic             Pints                  Pitcher
                                     Bottles                    $3 Big Beers              $5 any Pitcher            Bottles                 $2 UV Mixers           $3 Malibus
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                                                                                           Select                                            shots & Quervo
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 Charlie’s                           Draws                      Tacos                                               Draws                                          Draws
  EAST SIDE                          $4.75 All-U-
                                     Can-Eat Taco

				
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