Eyyy. My name is Joey Fuson. And guess what? I'm the only male running for any office. I guess that makes me this race's metaphorical Hillary Clinton. I just want y'all to know that I'm willing to accept the minority mantle and run with it. Its frankly something I've always wanted to have. White male usually doesn't get you any affirmative action. Fortunately, that means that I've never gotten any favors done for me from anyone. So you know that me standing here in front of you today is entirely 100% legit. This means I can handle any amount of work thrown at me. I am able to get work done at any time of the day, be it 3 in the afternoon, or 3 in the morning. So I will always be able to get done what must be done. However, none of these are real reasons to actually vote for me. So, here is exactly why you should vote for me. I'm smart, with a ridiculously good memory and a fair amount of common sense to boot. I also have splendid people skills. This means that I will be able to tell people what to do really well, know what they should do, and have them still like me. President's need these things. They also need to make good decisions, and you know what I'm good at? Making decisions. I know whats up. Therefore, I fully endorse myself as a candidate, and would very much recommend that you vote for me. It would be a good decision.