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Marriage

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					            Family in Crisis
• Many have written about the decline of the
  traditional family
  – Concerns that fewer and fewer women are
    wanting to invest in their children as moms
  – Concerns that so many moms are hiring
    others to raise their kids
  – The rising divorce rate and increase in marital
    fidelity
  – Fathers are no long embracing their role as
    the family leader
  – The decline in family values is ripping at the
    very fabric of society.
     • Cato, Tacitus, Polybious and Jevenal (~100 B.C.)
          Family in Crisis
• After 5 years, 20% of marriages end in
  separation or divorce.
• After 10 years, 33% end in separation or
  divorce.
• After 15 years, 43% end in separation or
  divorce.
          Family in Crisis
• “Parental divorce approximately doubled the
  odds that offspring would see their own
  marriages end in divorce.” Journal of
  Marriage
• There are 11.9 million single parents in the
  United States
• 28% of all children in the US, under age 18,
  live with one parent.
• 32% of all births were to unmarried women.
           Family in Crisis
• “More than two-thirds of divorce cases in
  the U.S. are filed by women.
• Reasons given for divorce
  – Infidelity and physical or verbal abuse are
    often the cause.
  – Many simply feel like they're not getting the
    most out of their marriage.”
  – Financial problems
  – Lack of communication
        God Hates Divorce
• Malachi 2:13-16
• Matthew 19:6, 9
  “What therefore God has joined together,
  let no man separate…. whoever divorces
  his wife, except for immorality, and marries
  another woman commits adultery.”
   Marriage

Help! I Married the
 Wrong Person
         Wives: Ephesians 5:22-33

• Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
• For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is
  the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of
  the body.
• But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives
  ought to be to their husbands in everything.
     Husbands: Ephesians 5:22-33

• Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
  church and gave Himself up for her,
• so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the
  washing of water with the word,
• that He might present to Himself the church in all her
  glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but
  that she would be holy and blameless.
• So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their
  own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
• for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
  cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
• because we are members of His body.
               Ephesians 5:22-33

• For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
  and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become
  one flesh.
• This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference
  to Christ and the church.
• Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love
  his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it
  that she respects her husband.
Myths About Marriage
           Myth #1:
My Spouse Can Meet All My Needs
          The Perfect Man
• Mr. Potato Head
  – He’s tan
  – He’s cute
  – He knows the
    importance of
    accessorizing
  – And if he looks at
    another women, you
    can rearrange his
    face.
• She married him because he was “strong
  and masculine.”
• She divorced him because he was a very
  “dominating male.”
• He married her because she was so
  “fragile and petite.”
• He divorced her because she was so
  “weak and helpless.”
• She chose him because “he knew how to
  provide a good living.”
• She left him because “all he thought
  about was the business.”
• He married her because she was “steady
  and sensible.”
• He divorced her because she was “boring
  and dull.”
            Myth #1:
 My Spouse Can Meet All My Needs
• The needs at Creation
  – Security
  – Significance
• Psalm 62:1-2 “My soul finds rest in God
  alone.”
• My needs are met to the degree I pursue
  and deepen my relationship with God.
  – Security – Rom. 8:38, 39
  – Significance – Luke 15:4-7
                  Reality
• The reality is, our needs are never fully
  met or fulfilled with our spouse.
• It does not mean you married the wrong
  person.
• There is only one who can fully meet my
  needs and that is God
• I can experience fulfillment in marriage to
  the degree that I pursue and deepen my
  relationship with God.
              Myth #2:
      Marriage is All About “Me”
• Often our relationship centers around
  attempting to manipulate our spouse to
  fulfill our needs.
• Mutual service, NOT manipulation
  – Meeting my spouses needs
  – In serving I find fulfillment
  – Fulfillment in marriage comes not from what
    my spouse gives me. It comes from what I
    give to them.
              Myth #3:
I Can Only Love When I Feel “In Love.”
• No emotion can be permanently
  sustained. Emotions fade.
• As long as the emotion of “love” is there
  we act lovingly, but when the emotion is
  gone, we excuse ourselves from acting
  lovingly.
• Some stray from their spouse because
  someone else re-ignites that emotion of
  love.
              Myth #3:
I Can Only Love When I Feel “In Love.”
• “as long as we both shall love” vs. “as long
  as we both shall live”
• 1 Cor. 13:4-7
  – Actions not feelings
  – Choices not emotions
  – When I chose to act lovingly, the feeling or the
    emotion will often follow.
               Conclusion
• Marriage is about what I give, not what I
  get.
• With my needs fully met in Christ, I am
  uniquely positioned to fully give myself in
  service to another.
• My relationship to God is the key to a
  fulfilling marriage!
  “Help, I’m In the Wrong Church”

• Myths about the church
  – The failures of others is keeping me from
    being fulfilled.
  – The church is not giving ME what I need.
  – I can only serve God if I have a certain
    “feeling.”

				
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