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The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents
http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT
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Do you know your parenting style? It's important to think about because the way you raise your
child can affect his entire life, including his ability to have relationships with others. Basically, there
are three schools of thought when it comes to raising children. In this article, I will explore all three
and propose a fourth.
Your parenting style is usually determined by the way your parents raised you. Although this is a
hard truth for some parents to swallow, if you've ever found yourself acting just like your parents,
then you know that this is true. Unless you've taken the time to think about how you want to raise
your kids and what you plan to do differently, then the method you'll resort to is the one that was
used on you.
Which parenting style best describes how you interact with your kids?
Authoritarian
Are you a parent who demands obedience? Do you forbid your children to question you? If so, you
are an authoritarian parent.
With an authoritarian parenting style, there is no question about who's in charge. The parent is the
boss and demands respect from the child who is expected to obey without question. A child who
disobeys is reprimanded, shamed or punished.
Drawbacks of authoritarian parenting:
The parent's relationship with the child is like master and slave. The child may be respectful of the
parent, but primarily because he is afraid of him. Such a child usually perceives the parent as
being cold and distant.
A child who is coerced into good behavior may only act appropriately when adults are watching.
Punishment doesn't teach a child to be a moral human being--it teaches kids how to avoid getting
caught.
Parents who demand respect often do not treat their children respectfully. Such a child may grow
up feeling bad about himself. Because his parents were not responsive to his needs, he may not
be able to form healthy relationships with others.
A child who is raised to be compliant may act robotically and be unable to think for himself.
Permissive
Do you let your kids run wild? Do you let your child make his own decisions and choose not to
correct him when he is disrespectful or insensitive? If so, you are a permissive parent. This type of
parenting is often a reaction by those who were raised by authoritarian parents and want their
children to have a better childhood than they did. Unfortunately, like most knee-jerk reactions, this
type of parenting is extreme.
Permissive parenting is a parenting style in which parents let their children do what they will. A
permissive parent acts more like a peer, than an authority figure. Little is done to teach appropriate
behaviors.
Drawbacks of permissive parenting:
Since this child may have been over-indulged, he may grow up to be self-entitled.
The child may not be sensitive to others' feelings and may have difficulty forming relationships.
The child may have problems in school.
A child who has been encouraged to make decisions for himself that he has not developed the
maturity to make, may feel confused, overwhelmed or paralyzed at the thought of taking action in
the world.
Like the child raised by an authoritarian parent, this child has not had a parent who acts in his best
interest. As a result, he may feel that there is no one he can trust.
Authoritative
The final is the authoritative parenting style. (Today's literature refers to this style as assertive-
democratic.) This method recognizes that children need to learn to make their own decisions, but
must be taught how to do so over time. Such a parent responds to the child's needs but also
teaches the child to be sensitive to the needs of others. Although authoritative parents have
household rules which they expect their children to follow, they encourage questions and are
willing to negotiate in some circumstances. This parenting style consistently produces children
who are self-starters, perform well in school and get along with others.
Rather than being at either end of the spectrum, this parenting style is somewhere in the middle.
Rather than being a reaction, it is a response to what children really need from us. As we practice
being authoritative parents, our ideas about parenting evolve. While children do need a guide to
teach them integrity, how to get along with others and how the world works, they also need a
loving, trustworthy guide. Parenting is about connection and engagement. When you understand
this, you can create a beautiful relationship with your child. I call this fourth and distinctly different
parent style, connection-engagement and explore it fully in my book, Keepers of the Children.
Although during times of stress, we may unconsciously resort to the parenting style used by our
parents, it is possible to unlearn this programming and raise children in a way that is humane and
respectful--a way that resonates with your heartfelt vision for your child.
About the author: Laura Ramirez is the author of the award-winning book, Keepers of the Children:
Native American Wisdom and Parenting - http://www.walk-in-peace.com/keepers.html. This
unique book combines ancient native ideas (like stewardship) with cutting-edge psychology to
show parents how to raise children to develop their natural strengths and grow up to lead
purposeful and fulfilling lives. It is a book about connection, caring and engagement.
Laura is also the publisher of Family Matters Parenting Magazine which features insights into the
core issues today's parents face - http://www.parenting-child-development.com
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laura_Ramirez
==== ====
The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents
http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT
==== ====