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Children today are caught in the crosshairs of modern media. Technology has become their
babysitter -reality TV, nude photos on the Internet, bizarre videos on YouTube, seductive text
messages. It's time for these young people to be exposed instead to role models who have the
potential to inspire them to do the right thing. But instead of symbols of stability, they're finding
other adolescents living through their own crises.
On the day of the Grammys, R&B singer Chris Brown allegedly beat up his girlfriend, pop star
Rihanna, after an altercation over text messages that Brown received from another woman.
Pundits, bloggers and reporters are weighing in. Some support Rihanna and are intent on not
blaming the victim. Others want her to face the situation head-on and take a strong stand.
Rihanna is young, talented, and at the top of the musical charts. She's also a potential example for
our youth. But first she has to heal herself. Oprah Winfrey suggested that Rihanna give it some
time and get counseling. What follows are ideas that she could take to heart for herself - and as a
spokeswoman for all of the young women and men who look up to her.
1.Take a step back and take care of yourself. You deserve some time alone. And the chance to be
safe, both physically and emotionally. This will help you see the details of your situation from a
different angle. Listening to your inner voice can provide comfort and reassurance as you
recognize your basic character strengths. Focus on what's important, as you try to integrate core
values and personal ideals into how you want to live your life.
2.Explore your negative emotions. When trust is broken, if you or your partner have made bad
decisions, there can be a buildup of frustration, anger or disappointment, even despair as you
make efforts to adapt to the new reality. It may become apparent how much you've changed and
how far apart the two of you have grown. And you'll see what steps to take next, for your own
good.
3.Get the help you need now. Find an individual therapist or life coach who will guide your healing
as you decide how to move forward. It's important to develop positive self-regard, confidence and
the life skills for this. The therapy should focus on areas such as cognitive behavioral change,
communication, anger management, stress reduction and control strategies. Stay in treatment as
long as you need in order to figure out what to do.
4.Recognize the value of support from others. Talking to friends and family can clarify your needs
as you work through your feelings. Listening to a second or third objective opinion will provide you
with further insight, direction and encouragement.
5.Find perspective in order to grow. Whether you're hit in the face with a crisis, adjusting to
changes in your identity or making a slow transition into the next chapter of your life, expect a
cascade of feelings - anxiety, the desire to hold on, resentment, sadness, fear, eventually a sense
of freedom. The emotional roller coaster ride is normal. If you have the fortitude to step back, take
a deep breath and face the situation squarely, you can't help but grow from the challenges.
6.Search for deeper meaning in your life. As you redefine your self, it can lead to your gradually
feeling more powerful. By accepting the person you are becoming, you will be able to go from
being afraid of being alone to feeling excited about what's ahead in your future.
Rihanna's situation has been tried in the court of public opinion. And it doesn't seem as if anyone
is in favor of her taking Chris back. It must be hard for her to be a public face in private pain. But
she is dealing with a reality that all teenagers need to be informed about - that physical and
emotional abuse are dangerous. Rihanna has the platform to demonstrate the benefits of making
smart choices. And she can act in her own best interests, for herself and all the young fans who
admire her and continue to watch her every move.
© 2009, Her Mentor Center
Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D is the founder of http://HerMentorCenter.com, a website for midlife women
and http://NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com, a blog for the Sandwich Generation. She
publishes a free monthly newsletter and is the author of a forthcoming book about family
relationships. As a psychotherapist, she has over 25 years of private practice experience.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Phyllis_Goldberg,_Ph.D.
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