10
listening tips
Tip # 1
Stop talking
Make sure your listening to talking ratio is 2:1.
Listen twice as much as you talk.
Source: http://www.business-opportunities.biz/2008/07/02/improve-your-listening-skills/
Don’t interrupt.
Source: http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/
Tip # 2
Stop doing
other things
Source: http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
Tip # 3
Face the person
Source: http://www.pixelio.de/details.php?image_id=395127&mode=search
Dominant Effective Passive
communication communication communication
Starring Eye contact No eye contact
Body leaning Body facing the Closed, sunk
backwards person down body
Pointing finger Open hands No use of hands
Eye contact helps develop trust.
Source:
Addis, Scott: Body language. Actions speak louder than words.
Rough Notes, July 2008.
Some people may avoid eye contact because
they are shy.
they were taught it was disrespectful to have
eye contact with superiors.
Source:
Clark, Thomas: Sharing the importance of attentive listening skills.
Journal of Management Education, April 1999.
In the Korean culture, it is considered a sign of extreme
disrespect for a young person, especially a woman, to
look straight into the eyes of an older person.
Source
Sclavi, Marianella: ”The role of play and humor in creative conflict management.”
Negotiation Journal, April 2008.
Tip # 4
Watch the
body language
Use of words
7% impact
Body
Voice
language
38%
55% impact
Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian
http://blog.doubleslash.de/richtige-kommunikation-im-softwareprojekt/
Watch nonverbal cues that could indicate what
the speaker isn't saying.
Often what she is not saying is as important as
what she is.
Source: http://web.hbr.org/email/archive/managementtip.php?date=012810
Source: http://www.howcast.com/videos/218107-How-To-Be-a-Good-Listener
The body always tells the truth.
Source: http://www.bodieslanguage.com/
Tip # 5
Take notes
Once you write it down,
you’ve put it in your brain.
Sources
Good listening skills aid professional relationships. Design Firm Management & Administration Report, September 2008.
http://barongroup.com/images/Are_you_listening.pdf
Ask for permission to take notes.
Source: http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432
Tip # 6
Ask questions
Source: http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
Ask questions from a position of curiosity.
Sources
Richard Chasin, Margaret Herzig, Sallyann Roth, Laura Chasin, Carol Becker, and Robert R. Stains, Jr.:
"From Diatribe to Dialogue on Divisive Public Issues: Approaches Drawn from Family Therapy".
Mediation Quarterly 1996, v. 13 #4, p. 326.
http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/transform/dialog.htm
Be curious
Source: http://www.pixelio.de/details.php?image_id=398313&mode=search
By asking questions you draw other
people in and engage them.
Source
Paul Sloane: How to be a brilliant conversationalist.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1195123/how_to_be_a_brilliant_conversationalist.html?cat=41
A good listener is an explorer of possible worlds.
Source
Marianella Sclavi: The Role of Play and Humor in Creative Conflict Management.
Negotiation Journal, April 2008.
Aggressive Effective Passive
communication communication communication
Giving answers Asking clarifying, Not saying
open, and specific anything
questions that help
people to think
Sources
http://www.pixelio.de/details.php?image_id=276337&mode=search
http://www.pixelio.de/details.php?image_id=383061&mode=search
Tip # 7
Give feedback
Nod your head.
Source
Good listening skills aid professional relationships.
Design Firm Management & Administration Report, September 2008.
Both Rhodes (1984) and Ridge (1984) stress the
importance of listener response or feedback
as a means of assessing listening competency.
Source
http://www.muhlenberg.edu/depts/forlang/new_llc/main_nav/www_res/northeast_conference/source/1986.pdf, p. 25.
Performance
Feedback frequency
Source: http://smartblogs.com/leadership/2011/07/20/how-much-feedback-is-too-much/
Tip # 8
Summarize
and ask
Source: http://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better.html
Act like a mirror
Source
http://www.pixelio.de/details.php?image_id=85062&mode=search
Adopting words, body postures, positions and
movements that are similar to the speaker will
allow the speaker to relax and open up more.
Sources
http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener
”If I understand you
correctly, you are
telling me that……..
Have I understood
you correctly?
Sources
http://www.pixelio.de/details.php?image_id=408312&mode=search
Listening Cited as a ”Top Business Skill”. Financial Executive, July / August 2009.
Person A statement
It’s impossible to work like this!
Person B summary and question
I hear that you find it difficult to work in these
conditions. What things are getting in the way?
What can I do to help you?
Source: Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 157-158.
The listener does not have to agree with the speaker
- he or she must simply state / repeat what he/she
thinks the speaker said.
This enables the speaker to find out whether the
listener really understood.
Sources
http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/activel.htm
http://sinekpartners.typepad.com/refocus/2010/06/there-is-a-difference-between-listening-
and-waiting-for-your-turn-to---speak-just-because-someone-can-hear-doesnt-mean-t.html
http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
Tip # 9
Put away
preconceptions
Source: http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432
Source: http://hbr.org/web/slideshows/difficult-conversations-nine-common-mistakes/1-slide
Low speed of speaking
Most individuals speak at the rate of 175 to 200 words
per minute.
High speed of listening
However, research suggests that we are very capable of
listening and processing words at the rate of 600 to 1,000
words per minute.
Source: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
Because a listener can listen at a faster rate
than most speakers talk, there is a tendency
to evaluate too quickly.
Source: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
Tip # 10
Reduce your
need to be right
Ability to pay
attention
Need to
Source: Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 156. be right