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Women Tell You How to Meet Women Edited by Jon Jensen, R.A. Introduction Introduction You always wanted to be a spy, right? Finding out the top-secret information, the stuff that’s really, really valuable, the stuff that will make all the difference. Then bring back that top secret informa- tion and use it to win the war. That’s what this book is. It’s the top secret information that’s been kept from guys far too long. It’s the information every guy needs to pick up the woman of their dreams. Sure, there are other books on meeting women, but they are always written by some guy who claims he has met and bedded WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 2 Introduction thousands of women. He claims that his tricks will work for you. But how can they? You’re different from every other guy. Maybe that guy is taller than you are. Maybe he’s thinner, or drives a bet- ter car. Maybe he’s attracted to different kinds of women than you are. How are his techniques ever going to help you? So I took a different approach. Hey, I’ve picked up my share of women over the years, and it’s been great. I have a few tips up my sleeve that have worked magic for me, but I don’t think they’ll work for everyone. Instead I set out to have WOMEN talk about THEIR experiences being picked up. We know these techniques worked because they WORKED ON THESE WOMEN. In this book women tell you how to pick them up. They tell you where to pick them up, when to pick them up, and how you should never try to pick them up. By the way, I underlined things that I think every guy should know. Good luck out there! Jon Jensen, R.A. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 3 The Women The Women Kelly: Mid 20s, light blond and blue eyes, athletic, dates tons but never seems to make it to the second date. This love-em-and-leave-em gal has traveled the world and loves the online dating scene. Lori: Blond, mid 30s but looks like she’s straight out of college. Has a great job but plays it cool – never lets the guys she picks up know that she made more money this year than they’ll make in the next ten. Brenda: Early 30s, former serial dater, now a soccer mom with memories to spare and a body sculpted from daily aerobics. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 4 The Women Marie: Late 20s, Tall, dark hair, tough-minded career woman who doesn’t like games. A straight shooter who wants what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it. Rene: Early 20s, exotic brunette with a body that won’t quit, likes guys who take action and keep their mouths shut. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 5 Getting Her Number Getting Her Number JJ: Ladies, thank you for your cooperation. I feel as if this project will help open a lot of guys’ eyes to mistakes they are making when trying to meet gorgeous women like you. Marie: Most guys need a lot of help. JJ: I agree. So let’s start with you, Kelly. What’s the best way for a guy to meet you? Kelly: All he needs to do is ask me to dance. Hell, I’ll dance with just about anybody. I don’t like them to talk, you know, just to dance. I kind of use them like a stripper uses a pole. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 6 Getting Her Number JJ: So that’s how a guy picks you up? Kelly: Oh, I didn’t say that’s how he picks me up. That’s how to meet me. Most of the time guys have nothing to say after I dance with them. They’re like fish – I just throw them back. JJ: But some guys DO get to talk to you after you dance, right? Kelly: Sure, if he’s the right kind of guy and says the right things. JJ: So how does a guy get your number? Lori: [interrupting] Oh man, I almost NEVER give a guy my number. JJ: Why not? Lori: Guys can be stalkers. The last thing you want is a guy stalking you. Most guys seem okay when you meet them, really quiet and unassuming, but then they become stalkers. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 7 Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It Calling Etiquette– Guys Don’t Get It Kelly: Guys just don’t get it. They think because you give them your number they can just call and call. I hate that. Guys should realize that if they call and leave a message that we got the message and that if we really want to call them back we will. Rene: In this age of caller ID people should assume that every one knows that they are calling and how many times they called. If you call and don’t leave a message then call back again and don’t leave a message a woman is just going to figure that you’re a stalker and that’s it. No one wants to go out with a stalker. Leave one message, just one message, and that’s it. Don’t keep calling. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 8 Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It Brenda: I gave this one guy my number and he called me five times a day for a week. If I had wanted to talk to him I would have called him back right away. Kelly: Guys think being persistent is complimentary. It’s not so complimentary, really. Being too persistent makes a guy seem like a stalker. Marie: Guys have to understand that there is something essentially scary about men. And that they should steer clear of being scary. Like, this one guy followed me around an airport like he was my dog. I had to get the cops to tell him to stop bothering me. Did he think that I’d find that attractive? Guys have got to get a grip on reality. Kelly: And another thing I want to bring up: when I DO give my number to a guy, I want him to call. What is with this “I won’t call her for three days” crap. JJ: As a guy, it’s because we don’t want to seem too eager. Kelly: That’s bulls**t. If I give a guy my number he should just call. He probably seemed pretty eager when he was asking for it. If a woman likes him she’ll be glad to hear from him. Waiting a few days just pisses us off. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 9 Confidence, Man Confidence, Man Lori: But it’s true, sometimes women don’t want a guy who is too eager. Women are sometimes attracted to guys who are aloof. The last thing you want is a guy who is up your butt. Marie: Not necessarily aloof – confident. Rene: That’s true. Brenda: Confident. Absolutely. Kelly: But down to earth. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 10 Confidence, Man Marie: He needs to show his confidence dancing. Even if he isn’t a good dancer he needs to show his confidence dancing. You don’t have to be a good dancer to show confidence. Kelly: Confidence can go a long way no matter what you look like. JJ: So, if a guy is confident, and reasonably good looking, will you give him your number? Rene: I’ll lie and give him a fake number. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 11 Why Women Lie Why Women Lie JJ: Lying and giving a fake number is awful. Rene: I’ll take his number if I really want to call him. Kelly: Rene and I lied to some guy the other night. We said we were both students at Harvard home for a break. We said we were roommates. JJ: Did he believe you? Kelly: Hell yeah. Rene: Kelly will lie about her age, her name, school, address – you name it, Kelly will lie about it. JJ: Why? WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 12 Why Women Lie Kelly: I don’t want to give guys my real information because I don’t want them to be stalkers, you know? It’s easier than telling a guy to get lost. You can always tell him the truth later. Guys don’t really care. Rene: Sometimes we pretend to have accents. JJ: That’s just cruel. Kelly: Hey, guys can do it, too. Why not pretend to have an accent. Rene: I love accents on guys. Foreign accents that is, not New York accents or Southern accents. An English or Australian accent is really nice. A guy gets extra points for an accent. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 13 How to Approach Women: Lines That Work How to Approach Women: Lines That Work JJ: So, how should a guy approach women like you? Kelly: Take a risk and don’t be cheesy. JJ: Great advice, but could you be more specific? Tell me some of the lines that have been used on you that worked. Brenda: How about “Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?” JJ: That worked? Brenda: Hell, I ended up marrying the guy. JJ: A great story for the grandkids. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 14 How to Approach Women: Lines That Work Marie: My current boyfriend used “how’s your heart?” JJ: Is he a cardiologist? Lori: It’s not the line, really. I mean, we’ve heard them all. I bet between us all we’ve heard every line that ever existed. What really matters is what works for that moment. Rene: Yeah, a guy can’t come up to you in the middle of a White Stripes concert and say “Hey, I lost my Teddy Bear, can I sleep with you instead?” I mean, that’s awful. But if a guy asks how you like the concert or if you like this kind of music or something that makes sense, that’s okay. Lori: One time in a bar this guy walked up to me and said “do you really need to wear those glasses, or do you just like looking sexy?” That was great. I hate my glasses and was only wearing them because my contacts were out of commission. Compliments like that work great. Brenda: Definitely, compliments make you feel more attractive. Marie: But you have to be sincere. And simple. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 15 How to Approach Women: Lines That Work JJ: Okay, please tell me what you think of these lines: • “Tell me, where do you get your clothes?” (consensus: awful) • “You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.” (consensus: fantastic) • “You have great hair – who is your stylist?” (consensus: bad, unless you’re gay) • “Have you seen any good concerts lately?” (consensus: not so bad, but not good) • “What kind of man turns you on?” (consensus: terrible) • “Are you from around here?” (consensus: okay) WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 16 Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect JJ: Okay, tell me, where are the good places to pick up women? Where would you be most likely to be picked up? A bar? Kelly: I guess, but a bar is pretty played. Lori: Every woman expects to be hit on in a bar. Their defenses are up. It’s probably an okay place to meet women, but not the best. JJ: Okay. How about an airport or an airplane? Kelly: If it seems natural. Don’t be a stalker about it. But if you happen to sit next to someone that catches your eye, you can talk to them. Rene: You know, I heard the train is a really great place to meet guys. Like instead of taking a plane you take a train. Guys can approach you on the train because it’s more relaxed and there are no assigned seats. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 17 Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect Brenda: Food shopping is a great place. Rene: Yeah, a guy can come up with a lot of good things to ask you about while you’re food shopping. Like “I’ve got to cook a meal for my boss and I don’t know the difference between regular and Italian parsley.” Or, if you want to be really basic about it, “how can you tell regular potatoes from sweet potatoes?” But then she might think you’re kind of dumb. Lori: Dale Carnegie classes – or any class – works well. Or the beach, that can be good, but unless a woman has a perfect body she might be a little nervous at the beach. Kelly: Even if she has a great body she’s going to be nervous. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 18 Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect Marie: A bookstore is good. A guy can just ask you where something is, or if you’re in a specific section of the store, he can ask you if you like the kind of book that is in the section, like mystery or science fiction. Then he can ask you to recommend a book. JJ: What about the gym? Kelly: Here’s a great rule of thumb – if she’s wearing makeup at the gym, you can absolutely ask her out. If she isn’t wearing makeup, stay away. Rene: Starbucks works for me. But once again, he can’t be cheesy. He has to make sure that his line makes sense in Starbucks. I mean, he can’t ask me to dance or anything. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 19 Eye Contact: Better Than Words? Eye Contact: Better Than Words? Rene: The sexually charged look always gets my attention. Kelly: I know. It’s better than a pick up line for a lot of women. Marie: And Rene is the queen of the sexually charged look. JJ: Okay, tell me more. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 20 Eye Contact: Better Than Words? Rene: Well, it’s all about eye-to-eye contact. And not saying anything. The key is to hold off saying anything as long as you can. And gentlemen, it’s eye to EYE contact, not eye to BREAST. Kelly: And no winking, for God’s sake. Rene: If the look goes on for a solid five minutes then it’s okay to approach the woman. Also, you’ve got to break away from the look for a count of 30 at least once and then look back. If she’s looking back at you then you’re in the clear. If she isn’t then it’s over. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 21 Online Dating Online Dating Kelly: I meet a lot of guys online these days. Lori: Really? Kelly: At first I thought it was really kind of weird, you know, kind of like a meat market. But it’s really easy, and it helps me screen out guys really fast. JJ: How can a guy stop himself from being screened out by you? Kelly: Just seem normal. I mean, don’t seem all crazy and don’t seem boring. I guess it would probably work best if we had some- thing in common. JJ: But how would a guy know what you have in common if you’ve never met? WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 22 Online Dating Kelly: I guess it’s just best to list a lot of hobbies and interests and figure that something will make an impression. Also you’ve got to stand out somehow. To me 90% of the guys online say the same stupid things. I mean, you can say some of the same stuff, but don’t repeat everything. JJ: In other words, don’t give you a reason to screen them out. Kelly: Yeah, it’s too easy to say “no, not you.” There are just so many guys to choose from that if there is any reason to screen a guy out I will. The guy just has to make sure he doesn’t give me a reason. JJ: He should just write something funny? Kelly: Funny will work. Smart will work, but not TOO smart. He just has to stand out. JJ: So you email guys who you see online? WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 23 Online Dating Kelly: I really don’t have to. Thousands of guys have emailed me. I mean, it’s literally in the thousands now. I can hardly keep up with them. I live near New York City, so there are a lot of guys in the area. So I immediately try to start weeding them out. Too tall, too short, generic profile, anything. JJ: What about the guys who don’t email you? Kelly: First off I don’t think there is a single guy who participates in online dating within 100 miles of me who has not emailed me. And if there is, there is no way that I have time to go looking for a guy on one of these date sites. There are far too many people emailing me. Plus, why would I want to put myself out there to have to email someone? I’m on one of these pay-by-the-message sites, and I’m telling you I have never, ever paid to send an email. I get so many of these that every night that I’m not on a date I’m sorting through the emails I get. It’s like it’s a full time job. JJ: But you DO go out on dates with these guys. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 24 Online Dating Kelly: Yeah, I do. Why would anyone submit themselves to the humiliation of these online dating services unless they were interested in going on a date? It’s not like you’re at a restaurant or a bar and maybe you’re just out for a night with the girls. If you’re online then you are definitely looking for a guy. JJ: So a guy emails you, how can he get your attention? Kelly: When a guy sends an email, a funny or clever subject line helps. And make sure you don’t talk about how sexy you are – that’s a real turn off. Don’t brag about yourself or talk about how much money you make, I really don’t care about all that. Just be natural and not stuck-up. And don’t be a stalker – I can’t tell guys about that enough – DO NOT BE A STALKER. It’s not a turn on to be stalked. Maybe it’s a turn on for guys to have a woman stalk them, but it’s not for women. So if you’re reading this and you’re stalking someone right now, just cut it out. JJ: So a guy should ask you out via email? WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 25 Online Dating Kelly: No. Just get to know me via email. Don’t rush things. If I trust you I’ll trade phone numbers with you. Then after we talk on the phone you can ask me out. But I’m not going to meet a guy unless I talk to him on the phone first. And I’ve got to see a picture of him, so guys, get a decent picture of yourself. Something that’s been taken in the last five years, because I don’t want any surprises when I go out on a date. If you’ve recently gained thirty pounds I want to know about it before we go out. Your winning personality is not going to smooth over the fact that you’ve been hitting the buffet a little too hard. Just be honest, for God’s sake. Even if you’re turned down via email it’s better than wasting my time on a date and pissing me off. You don’t want to be on a date with me when I’m pissed off. JJ: Should a guy ask you out for a romantic dinner? WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 26 Online Dating Kelly: Of course not. A romantic dinner for the first date is the last place I want to go with a guy I don’t know. If I’m at a fancy restaurant I can’t just leave if I don’t like the guy, I’ve got to endure hours of him droning on and on about some boring thing or another. The worst guys are the boring guys, the ones that only talk about themselves. And also, the last thing I want is to feel as if I owe you something at the end of a date just because you took me to a fancy restaurant. I’m not owing you anything, buddy. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 27 Who Pays for the Date? Who Pays for the Date? JJ: That brings up a good point: if you go to a fancy restaurant, or just out to a drink, who pays? Lori: Whoever asks the other person out pays. Kelly: No way – HE pays, no matter what. Rene: Whatever feels right at the time. Maybe he pays, maybe we split it. JJ: If you split the check, I assume that the guy has absolutely no chance of scoring with you. Lori: That’s right. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 28 Who Pays for the Date? Rene: Not necessarily. Whether he scores is based on if I like him and if he’s hot, not whether he pays or not. Marie: I think it should be based on economic necessity. Whoever can most afford to pay should pay. That seems the most fair. Rene: Kind of takes the romance out of it, however. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 29 First Date Etiquette First Date Etiquette Kelly: Here’s some tips for any first date: 1. It should never be longer than a drink because you don’t want to get stuck with anyone. 2. Never mention the price of ANYTHING – expensive or cheap. It makes you seem like an ass. 3. Ask questions and listen, but don’t talk about yourself unless you have to. Here’s a good first date question to ask: what’s your favorite childhood memory? 4. But don’t JUST listen, listen and respond. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 30 Do You Have to be a Supermodel? Do You Have to be a Supermodel? JJ: Something Kelly said when we were taking about online dating really stuck with me: you said a guy has to be handsome for you to go out with him. How important are looks when a guy is trying to pick up a woman? Kelly: First off I said “hot,” not “handsome.” There is a big difference. JJ: Really? Rene: You don’t have to be handsome to be hot. JJ: This is the first time I’ve heard about this. Marie: I mean there are some obvious turn offs, like bad breath and dirty teeth. I don’t care if you’re Brad Pitt, bad breath is going to turn me off. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 31 Do You Have to be a Supermodel? Rene: There’s this thing called sexy-ugly. You can be ugly and sexy at the same time. Like Willem DaFoe. I think he’s an ugly, ugly man, but he’s also incredibly sexy. Well, maybe he’s not as ugly as he is unusual looking. JJ: Explain this to me. Rene: If you’re not a great looking guy, it doesn’t mean that you have no chance. Just try to find something that is good looking about yourself and bring it out. Like your eyes or your lips. Then wear clothes that really bring that out. And have some confidence in yourself, dammit. JJ: Okay, I’m not sure I can believe this. The rest of you, do you believe in this sexy-ugly theory? Brenda: It’s not a theory, it’s the truth. Most of the guys I’ve dated have not been your traditionally handsome kind of guys. Hell, my husband is bald, for God’s sake. But he’s very sexy. Lori: It’s all about the way a guy looks when he approaches you, not just how good looking he is. It’s all about how he acts, if he feels he has confidence. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 32 Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes Kelly: Shoes are really, really important. JJ: What kind of shoes? Kelly: Good shoes. Attractive, casual dress shoes. You know what I mean. Lori: Yeah, no boat shoes, no old, beat up shoes. And no sandals -- please. Kelly: And no dirty shoes. They don’t have to be real shiny or anything, but they cannot be dirty. I cannot stress that enough – no dirty shoes. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 33 Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes Rene: Black shoes mean black socks. Enough said. Brenda: And nice hands are very important. Lori: Yeah, guys, stop biting your nails. But don’t get a manicure either, that’s no good. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 34 Cologne or No Cologne Cologne or No Cologne? JJ: Do you like cologne on guys? Lori: Depends on the guy. I guess it’s okay as long as it’s light. Rene: Yeah, you don’t want to smell the guy’s cologne unless you’re pressed up to him. Marie: There’s nothing good about cologne. Rene: You see, I disagree. I like cologne. But just not too much of it. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 35 Final Thoughts Final Thoughts Marie: Be confident. Kelly: Wear decent shoes. Lori: Don’t be cheesy or a stalker. Brenda: You don’t have to be beautiful. Rene: Meanwhile, we’re just here waiting. WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 36
"Women Tell How To Meet Women"