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Women Tell How To Meet Women


									Women Tell You
 How to Meet
    Edited by Jon Jensen, R.A.

You always wanted to be a spy, right? Finding out the top-secret
information, the stuff that’s really, really valuable, the stuff that will
make all the difference. Then bring back that top secret informa-
tion and use it to win the war.

That’s what this book is. It’s the top secret information
that’s been kept from guys far too long. It’s the information
every guy needs to pick up the woman of their dreams.

Sure, there are other books on meeting women, but they are
always written by some guy who claims he has met and bedded

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                         2

thousands of women. He claims that his tricks will work for you.
But how can they? You’re different from every other guy. Maybe
that guy is taller than you are. Maybe he’s thinner, or drives a bet-
ter car. Maybe he’s attracted to different kinds of women than you
are. How are his techniques ever going to help you?

So I took a different approach. Hey, I’ve picked up my share of
women over the years, and it’s been great. I have a few tips up my
sleeve that have worked magic for me, but I don’t think they’ll
work for everyone. Instead I set out to have WOMEN talk about
THEIR experiences being picked up. We know these techniques
worked because they WORKED ON THESE WOMEN.
In this book women tell you how to pick them up. They tell you
where to pick them up, when to pick them up, and how you should
never try to pick them up.

By the way, I underlined things that I think every guy should know.

Good luck out there!

Jon Jensen, R.A.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                        3
The Women

                           The Women
    Kelly: Mid 20s, light blond and blue eyes, athletic, dates tons
           but never seems to make it to the second date. This
           love-em-and-leave-em gal has traveled the world and
           loves the online dating scene.

      Lori: Blond, mid 30s but looks like she’s straight out of
            college. Has a great job but plays it cool – never lets
            the guys she picks up know that she made more
            money this year than they’ll make in the next ten.

 Brenda: Early 30s, former serial dater, now a soccer mom
         with memories to spare and a body sculpted from
         daily aerobics.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                      4
The Women

   Marie: Late 20s, Tall, dark hair,
          tough-minded career woman
          who doesn’t like games. A
          straight shooter who wants
          what she wants and isn’t
          afraid to ask for it.

    Rene: Early 20s, exotic brunette with
          a body that won’t quit, likes
          guys who take action and
          keep their mouths shut.

Getting Her Number

            Getting Her Number
         JJ: Ladies, thank you for your cooperation. I feel as if this
             project will help open a lot of guys’ eyes to mistakes
             they are making when trying to meet gorgeous women
             like you.

   Marie: Most guys need a lot of help.

         JJ: I agree. So let’s start with you, Kelly. What’s the best way
             for a guy to meet you?

    Kelly: All he needs to do is ask me to dance. Hell, I’ll dance
           with just about anybody. I don’t like them to talk, you
                                                  know, just to dance.
                                                  I kind of use them
                                                  like a stripper
                                                  uses a pole.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                            6
Getting Her Number

         JJ: So that’s how a guy picks you up?

    Kelly: Oh, I didn’t say that’s how he picks me up. That’s how
           to meet me. Most of the time guys have nothing to say
           after I dance with them. They’re like fish – I just throw
           them back.

         JJ: But some guys DO get to talk to you after you
             dance, right?

    Kelly: Sure, if he’s the right kind of guy and says the
           right things.

         JJ: So how does a guy get your number?

      Lori: [interrupting] Oh man, I almost NEVER give a guy
            my number.

         JJ: Why not?

      Lori: Guys can be stalkers. The last thing you want is a guy
            stalking you. Most guys seem okay when you meet
            them, really quiet and unassuming, but then they
            become stalkers.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                       7
Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It

                  Calling Etiquette–
                  Guys Don’t Get It
    Kelly: Guys just don’t
           get it. They think
           because you
           give them your
           number they can
           just call and call.
           I hate that. Guys
           should realize
           that if they call
           and leave a message that we got the message and that
           if we really want to call them back we will.

    Rene: In this age of caller ID people should assume that every
          one knows that they are calling and how many times
          they called. If you call and don’t leave a message then
          call back again and don’t leave a message a woman is
          just going to figure that you’re a stalker and that’s it. No
          one wants to go out with a stalker. Leave one message,
          just one message, and that’s it. Don’t keep calling.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                         8
Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It

 Brenda: I gave this one guy my number and he called me five
         times a day for a week. If I had wanted to talk to him I
         would have called him back right away.

    Kelly: Guys think being persistent is complimentary. It’s not so
           complimentary, really. Being too persistent makes a guy
           seem like a stalker.

   Marie: Guys have to understand that there is something essentially
          scary about men. And that they should steer clear of being
          scary. Like, this one guy followed me around an airport like
          he was my dog. I had to get the cops to tell him to stop
          bothering me. Did he think that I’d find that attractive?
          Guys have got to get a grip on reality.

    Kelly: And another thing I want to bring up: when I DO give my
           number to a guy, I want him to call. What is with this
           “I won’t call her for three days” crap.

         JJ: As a guy, it’s because we don’t want to seem too eager.

    Kelly: That’s bulls**t. If I give a guy my number he should just
           call. He probably seemed pretty eager when he was
           asking for it. If a woman likes him she’ll be glad to hear
           from him. Waiting a few days just pisses us off.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                        9
Confidence, Man

                   Confidence, Man
      Lori: But it’s true, sometimes women don’t want a guy who is
            too eager. Women are sometimes attracted to guys who
            are aloof. The last thing you want is a guy who is up
            your butt.

   Marie: Not necessarily aloof – confident.

    Rene: That’s true.

 Brenda: Confident. Absolutely.

    Kelly: But down to earth.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                 10
Confidence, Man

   Marie: He needs to show his confidence dancing. Even if he
          isn’t a good dancer he needs to show his confidence
          dancing. You don’t have to be a good dancer to
          show confidence.

    Kelly: Confidence can go a long way no matter what you
           look like.

         JJ: So, if a guy is confident, and reasonably good looking,
             will you give him your number?

    Rene: I’ll lie and give him a fake number.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                       11
Why Women Lie

                    Why Women Lie
         JJ: Lying and
             giving a fake
             number is

    Rene: I’ll take his
          number if I
          really want to
          call him.

    Kelly: Rene and I lied to some guy the other night. We said we
           were both students at Harvard home for a break. We said
           we were roommates.

         JJ: Did he believe you?

    Kelly: Hell yeah.

    Rene: Kelly will lie about her age, her name, school, address –
          you name it, Kelly will lie about it.

         JJ: Why?

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                      12
Why Women Lie

    Kelly: I don’t want to give guys my real information because I
           don’t want them to be stalkers, you know? It’s easier
           than telling a guy to get lost. You can always tell him the
           truth later. Guys don’t really care.

    Rene: Sometimes we pretend to have accents.

         JJ: That’s just cruel.

    Kelly: Hey, guys can do it, too. Why not pretend to have
           an accent.

    Rene: I love accents on guys. Foreign accents that is, not
          New York accents or Southern accents. An English or
          Australian accent is really nice. A guy gets extra points
          for an accent.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                      13
How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

  How to Approach Women:
      Lines That Work
         JJ: So, how should a guy approach women like you?

    Kelly: Take a risk and don’t be cheesy.

         JJ: Great advice, but could you be more specific?
             Tell me some of the lines that have been used on you
             that worked.

 Brenda: How about “Should I call you in the morning or just
         nudge you?”

         JJ: That worked?

 Brenda: Hell, I ended
         up marrying
         the guy.

         JJ: A great story
             for the

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                    14
How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

   Marie: My current boyfriend used “how’s your heart?”

         JJ: Is he a cardiologist?

      Lori: It’s not the line, really. I mean, we’ve heard them all. I bet
            between us all we’ve heard every line that ever existed.
            What really matters is what works for that moment.

    Rene: Yeah, a guy can’t come up to you in the middle of a White
          Stripes concert and say “Hey, I lost my Teddy Bear, can I
          sleep with you instead?” I mean, that’s awful. But if a guy
          asks how you like the concert or if you like this kind of
          music or something that makes sense, that’s okay.

      Lori: One time in a bar this guy walked up to me and said “do
            you really need to wear those glasses, or do you just like
            looking sexy?” That was great. I hate my glasses and was
            only wearing them because my contacts were out of
            commission. Compliments like that work great.

 Brenda: Definitely, compliments make you feel more attractive.

   Marie: But you have to be sincere. And simple.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                        15
How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

         JJ: Okay, please tell me what you think of these lines:

              • “Tell me, where do you get your clothes?”
                (consensus: awful)

              • “You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”
                (consensus: fantastic)

              • “You have great hair – who is your stylist?”
                (consensus: bad, unless you’re gay)

              • “Have you seen any good concerts lately?”
                (consensus: not so bad, but not good)

              • “What kind of man turns you on?”
                (consensus: terrible)

              • “Are you from around here?”
                (consensus: okay)

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                      16
Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

          Good Pick Up Spots:
         Not What You’d Expect
         JJ: Okay, tell me, where are the good places to pick up
             women? Where would you be most likely to be picked
             up? A bar?

    Kelly: I guess, but a bar is pretty played.

      Lori: Every woman expects to be hit on in a bar. Their
            defenses are up. It’s probably an okay place to meet
            women, but not the best.

         JJ: Okay. How about an airport or an airplane?

    Kelly: If it seems natural. Don’t be a stalker about it. But if you
           happen to sit next to someone that catches your eye, you
           can talk to them.

    Rene: You know, I heard the train is a really great place to meet
          guys. Like instead of taking a plane you take a train.
          Guys can approach you on the train because it’s more
          relaxed and there are no assigned seats.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                     17
Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

 Brenda: Food shopping is a great place.

    Rene: Yeah, a guy can
          come up with a
          lot of good things
          to ask you about
          while you’re food
          shopping. Like
          “I’ve got to cook
          a meal for my
          boss and I don’t
          know the
          difference between regular and Italian parsley.” Or, if you
          want to be really basic about it, “how can you tell regular
          potatoes from sweet potatoes?” But then she might think
          you’re kind of dumb.

      Lori: Dale Carnegie classes – or any class – works well. Or the
            beach, that can be good, but unless a woman has a
            perfect body she might be a little nervous at the beach.

    Kelly: Even if she has a great body she’s going to be nervous.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                     18
Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

   Marie: A bookstore is good. A guy can just ask you where
          something is, or if you’re in a specific section of the
          store, he can ask you if you like the kind of book that is
          in the section, like mystery or science fiction. Then he
          can ask you to recommend a book.

         JJ: What about the gym?

    Kelly: Here’s a great rule of thumb – if she’s wearing makeup at
           the gym, you can absolutely ask her out. If she isn’t
           wearing makeup, stay away.

    Rene: Starbucks works for me. But once again, he can’t be
          cheesy. He has to make sure that his line makes sense in
          Starbucks. I mean, he can’t ask me to dance or anything.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                       19
Eye Contact: Better Than Words?

                 Eye Contact:
              Better Than Words?
    Rene: The sexually charged look always gets my attention.

    Kelly: I know. It’s better than a pick up line for a lot of women.

   Marie: And Rene is the queen of the sexually charged look.

         JJ: Okay, tell me more.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                     20
Eye Contact: Better Than Words?

    Rene: Well, it’s all about eye-to-eye contact. And not saying
          anything. The key is to hold off saying anything as long
          as you can. And gentlemen, it’s eye to EYE contact, not
          eye to BREAST.

    Kelly: And no winking, for God’s sake.

    Rene: If the look goes on for a solid five minutes then it’s okay
          to approach the woman. Also, you’ve got to break away
          from the look for a count of 30 at least once and then
          look back. If she’s looking back at you then you’re in the
          clear. If she isn’t then it’s over.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                     21
Online Dating

                       Online Dating
    Kelly: I meet a lot of guys online these days.

      Lori: Really?

   Kelly: At first I thought it was really kind of weird, you know,
kind of like a meat market. But it’s really easy, and it helps me
screen out guys really fast.

                                           JJ: How can a guy stop
                                               himself from being
                                               screened out by you?

                                        Kelly: Just seem normal. I
                                               mean, don’t seem all
                                               crazy and don’t seem
                                               boring. I guess it
                                               would probably work
                                               best if we had some-
                                               thing in common.

         JJ: But how would a guy know what you have in common
             if you’ve never met?

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                      22
Online Dating

    Kelly: I guess it’s just best to list a lot of hobbies and interests
           and figure that something will make an impression. Also
           you’ve got to stand out somehow. To me 90% of the guys
           online say the same stupid things. I mean, you can say
           some of the same stuff, but don’t repeat everything.

         JJ: In other words, don’t give you a reason to screen
             them out.

    Kelly: Yeah, it’s too easy to say “no, not you.” There are just so
           many guys to choose from that if there is any reason to
           screen a guy out I will. The guy just has to make sure he
           doesn’t give me a reason.

         JJ: He should just write something funny?

    Kelly: Funny will work. Smart will work, but not TOO smart.
           He just has to stand out.

         JJ: So you email guys who you see online?

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                       23
Online Dating

    Kelly: I really don’t have to. Thousands of guys have emailed
           me. I mean, it’s literally in the thousands now. I can
           hardly keep up with them. I live near New York City, so
           there are a lot of guys in the area. So I immediately try to
           start weeding them out. Too tall, too short, generic
           profile, anything.

         JJ: What about the guys who don’t email you?

    Kelly: First off I don’t think there is a single guy who
           participates in online dating within 100 miles of me who
           has not emailed me. And if there is, there is no way that I
           have time to go looking for a guy on one of these date
           sites. There are far too many people emailing me. Plus,
           why would I want to put myself out there to have to
           email someone? I’m on one of these pay-by-the-message
           sites, and I’m telling you I have never, ever paid to send
           an email. I get so many of these that every night that I’m
           not on a date I’m sorting through the emails I get. It’s like
           it’s a full time job.

         JJ: But you DO go out on dates with these guys.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                      24
Online Dating

    Kelly: Yeah, I do. Why would anyone submit themselves to the
           humiliation of these online dating services unless they
           were interested in going on a date? It’s not like you’re at
           a restaurant or a bar and maybe you’re just out for a
           night with the girls. If you’re online then you are
           definitely looking for a guy.

         JJ: So a guy emails you, how can he get your attention?

    Kelly: When a guy sends an email, a funny or clever subject
           line helps. And make sure you don’t talk about how
           sexy you are – that’s a real turn off. Don’t brag about
           yourself or talk about how much money you make, I
           really don’t care about all that. Just be natural and not
           stuck-up. And don’t be a stalker – I can’t tell guys about
           that enough – DO NOT BE A STALKER. It’s not a turn on
           to be stalked. Maybe it’s a turn on for guys to have a
           woman stalk them, but it’s not for women. So if you’re
           reading this and you’re stalking someone right now,
           just cut it out.

         JJ: So a guy should ask you out via email?

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                     25
Online Dating

    Kelly: No. Just get to know me via email. Don’t rush things. If I
           trust you I’ll trade phone numbers with you. Then after
           we talk on the phone you can ask me out. But I’m not
           going to meet a guy unless I talk to him on the phone first.

              And I’ve got to see a picture of him, so guys, get a
              decent picture of yourself. Something that’s been taken
              in the last five years, because I don’t want any surprises
              when I go out on a date. If you’ve recently gained thirty
              pounds I want to know about it before we go out. Your
              winning personality is not going to smooth over the fact
              that you’ve been hitting the buffet a little too hard.

              Just be honest, for God’s sake. Even if you’re turned
              down via email it’s better than wasting my time on a date
              and pissing me off. You don’t want to be on a date with
              me when I’m pissed off.

         JJ: Should a guy ask you out for a romantic dinner?

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                       26
Online Dating

    Kelly: Of course not. A romantic dinner for the first date is the
           last place I want to go with a guy I don’t know. If I’m at a
           fancy restaurant I can’t just leave if I don’t like the guy,
           I’ve got to endure hours of him droning on and on about
           some boring thing or another.

              The worst guys are the boring guys, the ones that only
              talk about themselves. And also, the last thing I want is
              to feel as if I owe you something at the end of a date just
              because you took me to a fancy restaurant. I’m not
              owing you anything, buddy.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                        27
Who Pays for the Date?

        Who Pays for the Date?
         JJ: That brings up a good point: if you go to a fancy
             restaurant, or just out to a drink, who pays?

      Lori: Whoever asks the other person out pays.

    Kelly: No way – HE pays, no matter what.

    Rene: Whatever feels right at the time. Maybe he pays,
          maybe we split it.

         JJ: If you split
             the check, I
             assume that
             the guy has
             absolutely no
             chance of
             scoring with you.

      Lori: That’s right.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                 28
Who Pays for the Date?

    Rene: Not necessarily. Whether he scores is based on if I like
          him and if he’s hot, not whether he pays or not.

   Marie: I think it should be based on economic necessity.
          Whoever can most afford to pay should pay. That seems
          the most fair.

    Rene: Kind of takes the romance out of it, however.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                     29
First Date Etiquette

              First Date Etiquette
    Kelly: Here’s some tips for any first date:

              1. It should never be longer than a drink because you
                 don’t want to get stuck with anyone.

              2. Never mention the price of ANYTHING – expensive
                 or cheap. It makes you seem like an ass.

              3. Ask questions and listen, but don’t talk about yourself
                 unless you have to. Here’s a good first date question
                 to ask: what’s your favorite childhood memory?

              4. But don’t JUST listen, listen and respond.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                       30
Do You Have to be a Supermodel?

             Do You Have to be a
         JJ: Something Kelly said when we were taking about online
             dating really stuck with me: you said a guy has to be
             handsome for you to go out with him. How important
             are looks when a guy is trying to pick up a woman?

                                              Kelly: First off I said “hot,”
                                                     not “handsome.”
                                                     There is a big

                                                 JJ: Really?

                                              Rene: You don’t have to be
                                                    handsome to be hot.

         JJ: This is the first time I’ve heard about this.

   Marie: I mean there are some obvious turn offs, like bad breath
          and dirty teeth. I don’t care if you’re Brad Pitt, bad breath
          is going to turn me off.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                          31
Do You Have to be a Supermodel?

    Rene: There’s this thing called sexy-ugly. You can be ugly and
          sexy at the same time. Like Willem DaFoe. I think he’s an
          ugly, ugly man, but he’s also incredibly sexy. Well, maybe
          he’s not as ugly as he is unusual looking.

         JJ: Explain this to me.

    Rene: If you’re not a great looking guy, it doesn’t mean that you
          have no chance. Just try to find something that is good
          looking about yourself and bring it out. Like your eyes or
          your lips. Then wear clothes that really bring that out.
          And have some confidence in yourself, dammit.

         JJ: Okay, I’m not sure I can believe this. The rest of you, do
             you believe in this sexy-ugly theory?

 Brenda: It’s not a theory, it’s the truth. Most of the guys I’ve dated
         have not been your traditionally handsome kind of guys.
         Hell, my husband is bald, for God’s sake. But he’s
         very sexy.

      Lori: It’s all about the way a guy looks when he approaches
            you, not just how good looking he is. It’s all about how
            he acts, if he feels he has confidence.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                          32
Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes

                    Shoes – It’s All
                   About the Shoes
    Kelly: Shoes are really,
           really important.

         JJ: What kind of

    Kelly: Good shoes.
           casual dress
           shoes. You know
           what I mean.

      Lori: Yeah, no boat shoes, no old, beat up shoes. And no
            sandals -- please.

    Kelly: And no dirty shoes. They don’t have to be real shiny or
           anything, but they cannot be dirty. I cannot stress that
           enough – no dirty shoes.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                      33
Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes

    Rene: Black shoes mean black socks. Enough said.

 Brenda: And nice hands are very important.

      Lori: Yeah, guys, stop biting your nails. But don’t get a
            manicure either, that’s no good.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                  34
Cologne or No Cologne

      Cologne or No Cologne?
         JJ: Do you like cologne on guys?

      Lori: Depends on the guy. I guess it’s okay as long as it’s light.

    Rene: Yeah, you don’t want to smell the guy’s cologne unless
          you’re pressed up to him.

   Marie: There’s nothing good about cologne.

    Rene: You see, I disagree. I like cologne. But just not too
          much of it.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                       35
Final Thoughts

                      Final Thoughts

                               Marie: Be confident.

                           Kelly: Wear decent shoes.

                               Lori: Don’t be cheesy or a stalker.

       Brenda: You don’t have to be beautiful.

                 Rene: Meanwhile, we’re just here waiting.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN                                     36

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