END GRAIN
BY JOE ASNAULT
Chainsaw
Massacre
Premeditated cedar
slaughter satisfies.
I the
made decision to murder with a tinge
of remorse because I have heard more
than a billion times during the last few
years that we need trees to help stem global
warming. But the beautyofthe 75' of dead
straight Western red cedar towered over
me. I pulled the starter cord of my 24" bar
chain saw and I cut the wedge, commit- bled sap and sawdust, and I smiled at the Home Depot?" I couldn't answer him the:
ted now, adrenaline pumping. I began the beauty of the cuts. I chose 3/4" for the slabs, but I can now.
hinge cut, slipped in a plastic wedge for and the tree yielded approximately 72 All woodworkers, professional or avi
safety and murdered the tree. It screeched usable pieces. know there is something personal abo
just before it hit the forest duff, then lay The stacks ofstickered pieces rested in the process of the creation of somethi
still. I didn't see a dead body. I saw dollar peace under my cabin to air dry, then we beautiful. Every time I walk into my cab'
signs, and my guilt wafted away with the planed them on site to 1/2" thick, ripped and see the walls lined with the cedar
sweet smell of the 50-to-1 gas mixture. them to 4" widths and chamfered the edges painstakingly milled, I don't see doll
The tree was alive, and didn't need to on the router table- 7,000-watt generator signs; I see beauty - soul-satisfying beaurj
die - but I needed cedar lumber for the blaring, table saw buzzing, router scream- - and I grin.
interior siding of my mountain cabin. Go ing, planer piercing. Even the sweet smell I walk my 2.5 acres in-theforest searc
ahead. Call me a killer. But now I'm a killer of the pieces seemed to justify the killing. ing for other victims to slake my need to
with some killer 6' lengths of primo cedar I couldn't wait to show my trophies to fam- create. A deck. A table for my parents
- and now this woodworking project won't ily and friends. retirement present. A podium to use for
kill my pocketbook. At first, that's how I The tree spikers would damn me ior my day job. And it will feel good to com-
saw it - as a way to save some cash. I real- my maliciousness and greed. Yet no huge mit another murder. PWM
ized a different motive later. piece of machinery had to blaze through a
My buddy Bill used his tractor to dump forest to drop this cedar beast. No diesel Joe is a freelance writer and avid woodworker who
lives in Northern California. He and his woodworking
the last 6' section of the tree, about 20" in behemoths had to transport the meat to mentor, John Shern, have built everything from rabbit
diameter, into my milling area. The Gran- a mill, where endless kilowatts would be hutches to poker tables.
berg MKIII Alaskan Chain Saw Lumber used. No mass-transportation system was
Mill shone dully, reeking of pine and pitch needed to drive the carcases to sale. No sap
from a previous killing, on the tailgate of like myself ended up paying $3 to $4 per Go Online FOR MORE •••
my truck, and the milling commenced. foot for it. Instead, I've used a bit of gas, a
You'll find links to all these online extras at:
In all my building and woodworking touch of oil and a cord of gumption. ~ popularwoodworking.com/oct10
fantasies, never did I envision the raw Five months prior, eyeing the brand-
ARTICLE: Read "Lusting ior Lumber."
butchering of a tree by hand. With two new gleaming chain saw mill on the tail-
VIDEO: Is a chainsaw too delicate for you?
sharp ripping chains, a ton of bar oil and gate of my truck, my poker buddy asked, Try black powder.
gas, I commenced the slaughter. The wood "Why don't you just buy your lumber at
64 • POPUUIR WOODWORKING MAGAZINE October 2010 PHQTOB'f1l'£ -.-