The Bailout
Jack Discover: [from backstage] Once in a back pocket a crime was committed. You could smell the
metallic fear in the air. In the buttery leather pouch, everyone crinkled and jingled about what had
happened. You could see the circular outlines pressed against the smooth walls. But if you looked
closely, one was missing.
DL: *running onto stage+ Oh my gosh!!! Oh my gosh!!! Ahhhh!!! Quarter…he…he…he’s gone!!! My
dear quarter!! Ohhhh…
Fitty D: [sarcastically] Oh, how tragic. [rolls eyes]
Dimey: Lighten up. Who cares?
DL: I care!
Checky: *shyly+ Is…is he dead?
Manny Mastercard: [raises arms] People, people.
Jack Discover: [gesturing] Hey, why is everybody screaming?
DL: Well, let me tell you. For those of you who don’t know me yet (which, I really don’t know why you
wouldn’t know me), I’m DL, Diva LaVroone. No one can drive without me. Oh, my quarter! What will I
ever do without you?
Checky: {mumbling to herself} Ugh, Diva LaVroone, always complain about everything. {sigh}
Dimey: Excuse me, I couldn’t hear you. Who are you anyway?
Checky: Uh, I’m the $20 check our owner got for plunging port-a-potties.
Fitty D: Might as well use yourself to buy a ticket to somewhere else, TP Terror.
Manny: Hey buddy, we’re all friends here. What’s your name anyway?
Fitty D: If you must know, “Master”, I’m Fitty D. Why are we even here anyway? It’s a little quarter;
there are plenty more. Some of us have better things to do than wonder where a worthless little coin
went.
DL: My little quarter! Oh how I loved him.
Fitty D: I am worth 200 times more than him. He was a pain anyways, always pulling pranks. If I tear a
tiny piece off of me, can we please go back to what we were doing?
Dimey: I won’t tear just a little piece off you if you don’t quit talking about quarter that way.
Fitty D: Serves him right for what he did.
Dimey: It’s on.
Fitty D: What are you gonna do paperweight?
Jack: [breaking up the fight] Green Back, tiny break it up.
Dimey: All you’ve helped us discover here is that we don’t like each other.
Jack: who do you think you are?
Dimey: I'm the tough guy around here, look at me like that again and you’re dead. Are you going to talk?
Phoebe: If you want me to talk just say so. My name’s Phoebe. My friends describe me as kind, caring,
and cool, but I think they say that so they don’t end up locked up.
Fitty D: I don’t think you’re any of those things so take me away from this death hole.
Manny: Calm it down pretty boy, your staying here.
Fitty D: Hey Mr. MasterCard go take a swipe.
Manny: Keep talking like that to me and you’ll be cashing into jail.
Fitty D: Oh no.
Manny : Once you know who I am you will be saying oh no.I am this joints best detective.
Jack: Ahum???
Manny: You’re the assistant, anyway my name is Manny Mastercard as you probably already know I'm a
detective but also a very beneficial thing to have.
Jack: Did you forget me? Apparently I'm the assistant and my name is Jack Discover. Together this crime
is going down!
Manny: Let the interviews begin!
Manny: Now Mr. Sarcastic what's your name?
Fitty D: Fitty D.
Manny: What did you see, hear, and who are you accusing and why?
Fitty D: Well a few nights ago I was peacefully lying down about to fall asleep, then all of a sudden two
mysterious shadows slipped by me then a few minutes later I heard a faint splashing sound. I think
Checky had somehow been able to find a way to throw quarter out of the wallet. She's been in here so
long who knows all the secrets she's discovered. Also Quarter always thought of her as a victim for
pranks sense she was so shy.
Manny: Fifty D, thank you.
Jack: So Checky Norris what's your name, what did you see, hear?
Checky: I was reading and heard DL complaining about her lip stick.
Jack: Who do you think did the crime and why?
Checky: I think DL did it because one time when DL was doing her make-up before the special dance
quarter replaced her make-up with clown supplies and she was so embarrassed she didn’t get over it for
months.
Jack: Thank you Checky.
Manny: Now Ms. Drama what’s your name?
DL: How could you forget me!? I’m DL. Nobody can drive without me!
Manny: It’s just a question we’re supposed to ask, okay?! Good. Now what did you see?
DL: I saw me, looking oh so fabulous with my make-up!
Manny: What did you hear?
DL: It was horrible! I heard a scream and messed up my make-up!
Manny: Who do you think committed this crime?
DL: Well, I think Dimey did it. He’s been acting strange and was mistreating quarter. They’re usually
bff’s but lately they’ve been acting strange. I wonder?
Manny: Thank you DL.
Jack: Tough guy, what’s your name?
Dimey: Name’s Dimey.
Jack: What did ya see?
Dimey: What I saw was Quarter fall out of the wallet.
Jack: (suspiciously) What did you hear?
Dimey: Well I heard a loud clink sound.
Jack: Which of these five suspects do you think committed this crime and why?
Dimey: Honestly, I think Pheobe did it because Quarter stole her grandma’s super special necklace that
her mother gave her and she swore to get revenge.
Jack: Thank you.
Manny: Now Ms. Popular, what’s your name?
Pheobe: My name is Pheobe and you will be Manny the Mangled if you don’t give me some respect!
Manny: I’m sorry (sarcastically), but what did you see?
Pheobe: Well, I was asleep and I had a nightmare of someone falling out and into the water. I woke up
so startled then I heard…
Manny: Hey, hold your horses, we’re not there yet. Now what did you hear?
Pheobe: Don’t interrupt me, but like I said, I woke up so startled. Then I heard a splash just like my
dream.
Manny: Strange, well who do you think did it to him?
Pheobe: I am almost sure Fifty D. He hated Quarter so much. He also didn’t sound bothered by the fact
that Quarter was gone. He is always alone and nobody ever bothers him.
Manny: Thank you.
Jack: We have gathered enough clues to figure out this crime.
Manny: Well hold on. Maybe we should ask the audience who they think did it. It wouldn’t be fair if we
just decided.
Jack: Suspects, stand in a line in front of the audience. Who thinks Fifty D did it?
Manny: Who thinks Checky did it?
Jack: Who thinks Pheobe did it?
Manny: Who thinks Dimey did it?
Jack: Who thinks DL did it?
Manny: Well, we see that the culprit is…
Dimey: Wait. I did it.
Fifty D.: Dun Dun Dun!
DL: Told you!
Checky: (confused) Why?
Pheobe: Ya, why’d ya do it? (rubbing it in)
Dimey: Ya, I did it to get rid of quarter for good. This wallet will now be much happier without him and
his pranks gone!
Jack: Is he really gone? So who’s this? (Quarter comes out from behind curtains, but is a ghost)
Dimey: Okay, are you kidding me? So he’s not gone?
Quarter: Oh I’m gone. But, if you thought my pranks were bad before, well you’ve got another think
coming. I’m going to haunt you forever! Mwahahahaha!!!
Fifty D: That was weird.
Pheobe: What was that?
Dimey: Th…that wa…was QQQQuarter!! (startled)
DL: For what you did to him you deserve everything he does to you!
(All of a sudden Quarter appears and says BOO! And scares everyone away.)
THE END.