BEER: IT'S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE
Ed Strauser
As you pop the top and tip back a nice cold Natural Light, the first thing that hits
your mind is not the alcohol, but the idea, "What the hell is this?" On first taste, Natural
Light has its own unique flavor, but you will find that after two or three of 'em, its flavor is
really not that far from some of the more expensive beers like Budweiser or Bud Light,
other brands from the same brewer.
First, let's look at the price range and consumer aspect of the beer itself, as noted by
Ed Strauser. When shopping for beer, you may first notice that Natural Light, compared to
all other beers, is about the cheapest you'll find (Stag is excluded because only people in
Gordonville drink it). Natural Light is $4.27 a 12-pack, while others like Budweiser and Bud
Light, brewed by the same company, cost $5.97 a 12-pack. The average person is able to see
the $1.70 difference and may even see that difference as the price of two tacos for when
you get the drunk-munchies (see paragraph five below).
By now, I'm sure you're wondering who drinks this lager of choice? Well, mainly it is
college students who drink Nat Light. "Why?" you ask. Because it is cheap, and the word
"cheap" to a college student equals good. The average job-holding adult makes more money
than the student and can afford beer that costs upwards of $5.00 a 12-pack. The average
student is usually rolling pennies for lunch money or, worse, checking the washing machine
of dorms for change that someone else may have lost while washing clothes.
Secondly, why don't we discuss the flavor of Nat Light compared to other beers.
Natural Light has a nasty, bitter, sweet taste to it, not unlike the gagging taste of apple juice
that has been left out of the fridge for a day or so. But the more expensive beers like Bud
Light have a mixture of sweetness that invites the tastebuds to indulge themselves in more
of this bliss.
Next, let's look at the mixability of Natural Light with certain foods compared to the
mixability of other beers with certain foods. Natural Light mixes extremely well with tacos
from Taco Bell and pizza from Papa John's. The beer mixed with either of these delicacies
creates a fullness in your stomach and lessens the chance of vomiting. Foods like Steak-N-
Shake steakburgers, chiliburgers, or milkshakes do not create the desired effect. Steak-N-
Shake foods cause the vomiting and general stomach discomfort which should be avoided
when drinking. The more expensive beers mix about the same with these foods, exception
being Bud Light and nachos from Applebee's: it don't mix 'em at all.
Finally, let's look at the alcohol content, and that, in the end, is what really counts.
Both Natural Light, Budweiser, and Bud Light have, by volume, the same amount of alcohol:
5%. If we look at it on a larger scale, 1/20th of every beer is alcohol, and while that is not
equal to Black Death Vodka (80% alcohol), it still can have a noticeable effect on people.
Both Natural Light and Bud Light also have the same ingredients, the only difference being
that Bud Light is left in the barrel at the factory to ferment longer before bottling. And this
factor really means nothing because the only fermenting you are worried about is drinking
your beer fast enough so that it doesn't get warm.
So in the end, though Nat Light may not taste as good as some of the other beers, it
will get you just as drunk as the other beers. And this, along with having a good time, is the
real goal of the party-going beer drinker. Natural Light is a beer for the student and
represents everything the student is working for: to some day be able to afford really good
beer.