SIN IS IN
book & lyrics by MK Wolfe
music by Darryl Curry
(A drumroll is heard in the darkness)
ANNOUNCER
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Palace in Atlantic City is proud to present - Jerrie Sans and the
Deadly Sins!
(MUSIC up. A spotlight strikes the face of JERRIE SANS, consummate showman. He
sings:)
“PECAR ESTA A LA MODA (Sin Is In)”
JERRIE SANS
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY, THE WORLD WAS A FINE PLACE,
A BRIMMING-WITH-SUNSHINE* PLACE
OF GOODNESS AND LIGHT.
PEOPLE WERE POLITE,
AND UNDERWEAR WAS ALWAYS WHITE.
TODAY I SEE CHAOS, THE WORLD IS A SHAMBLES.
HE DRINKS AND SHE GAMBLES, THEY WHORE AND THEY STEAL.
NO ONE IS GENTEEL.
SO, TO SURVIVE I MADE A DEAL...
(The lights come up in blazing glory as seven voluptuous showgirls (some, men in drag)
enter and parade about the stage)
JERRIE SANS (cont)
WHEN IN ROME BEHAVE LIKE THE ROMANS.
IF THEY THROW UP, THEN YOU SHOULD, TOO.
SO TRY TO GET ALONG
AND YOU CANNOT GO WRONG.
SEE, THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
JERRIE AND THE SINS
SHOW THEM YOU'RE A CUTE LITTLE DEVIL,
LIKE HITLER BACK IN OLD BERLIN.
AND WHY?
PECAR ESTA A LA MODA,
IN OTHER WORDS, SIN IS IN!
*
Note: Intentionally bad prosody. Please comically emphasize the word “SHINE”
VANITY (spoken)
I generally avoid temptation. Unless I can’t resist it.
JERRIE SANS (spoken)
Well, I’ll try anything once. Twice if I like it. Three times to make sure.
(The Sins laugh uproariously as the MUSIC swells and Jerrie sings:)
JERRIE SANS
ANIMALS ADAPT TO THE CLIMATE,
IT ISN'T HARD TO ACT THE BEAST.
TO PUT IT MORE CONCISE:
ENGAGE IN EVERY VICE,
AND DO IT LIKE A TRUE ARTISTE.
JERRIE AND THE SINS
AND ANYONE WHO SCREWS WITH YOUR HEAD'LL
END UP LIKE POOR OLD ANNE BOLEYN!
HOW COME?
PECAR ESTA A LA MODA.
WE KID YOU NOT - SIN IS IN.
JERRIE SANS (spoken)
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Seven Deadly Sins!
(As he introduces the Sins one by one, each takes a turn in front of the audience,
displaying a headdress. Gluttony's headdress is a mass of gooey food items; Greed
has money and jewels; Anger displays items of violence; Lust shows sex toys and naked
lovers; Laziness exhibits remote controls and other conveniences; Envy's headdress is a
mass of eyes and grasping fingers; Vanity's headdress is mirrors and more mirrors)
JERRIE SANS
Gluttony!
GLUTTONY
(With a full mouth) Eat. Throw up. Stuff. It's never enough. (She discards a candy wrapper)
JERRIE SANS
Greed!
GREED
The love of money is the root of all, baby!
JERRIE
Anger!
ANGER
(To Greed) Get out of my way, you bitch! (To audience) Now what the hell are you looking at?
JERRIE SANS
Lust!
LUST
(Sighing lustfully) A hard man is good to find.
JERRIE SANS
Laziness!
LAZINESS
There’s no excuse for laziness – but I’m working on it.
JERRIE SANS
Envy!
ENVY
Honey, if you've got what I want, two words – (grabbing crotch) bite this!
JERRIE SANS
Vanity!
VANITY
C’mon, everyone’s entitled to my opinion. Nothing else matters.
(The Sins dance as Jerrie rises on a platform high above them)
JERRIE AND THE SINS
ENJOY EACH DAILY DOSE OF CORRUPTION,
MAKE EVERY CHOICE A MORTAL SIN.
POR QUE? OLÉ!
PECAR ESTA A LA MODA!
SO KEEP ADULTERIN',
AND USING HEROIN.
REMEMBER THAT SIN IS IN.
COMPRENDE?
SIN - IS - IN!