Congress, It's Like The Smell Coming From The
Garbage Can
The Democrats in Congress and Obama are so intent on being right about health care
that they got it passed even if it means many of them not being re-elected because of
it. So, finally, at least some good might come of this.
Nancy Pelosi said recently about the health care bill, "We have to pass this bill so that
you can find out what's in it." And Obama said the other day, "I haven't read the bill
yet, but we need to pass it." This kind of makes you think Congress and Obama are like
the Forrest Gumps of politicians saying, "Obamacare is like a box of chocolates, you
never know what you are gonna get."
When Nancy Pelosi became the Speaker of the House she said that this would be the
most ethical Congress ever. But associating Congress with ethics is like associating Al
Gore with charisma. There is actually an Ethics Committee in Congress and I'm
assuming they are on the lookout for anyone there being ethical. So far they've found
no one.
But a congressman trying to find ethics it's pretty much like a caveman trying to
discover fire. It's something you've never seen before so you really don't know what it
looks like. It compares to Tiger Wood discovering fidelity or Lady Gaga finding
normalcy.
From many of the actions that Congress takes you'd think their collective IQs would
have a hard time topping summer temperatures in Alaska. It makes you want to
propose a reality show to the networks about Congress - Are You Smarter than
Sandpaper? But the fact is that many of them are really intelligent people but when the
mold was made for those people they forgot to provide space for that thing we talked
about earlier in the article - ethics (but on Nancy Pelosi instead of ethics they put
botox.)
Intelligence without ethics is how you get "brilliant" pieces of work like a stimulus
package to spend your way of debt.
Let's just listen in on an interview with a Congressman that never made it to air
(because the "ethics" committee wouldn't allow it):
Interviewer: What do you think is the biggest problem we face today, healthcare or
unemployment?
Congressman: Neither one, it's being re-elected.
Interviewer: How is that a problem for the citizens of the United States?
Congressman: Oh, I didn't know we were talking about them. I thought we were talking
about me. In that case I think the biggest problem is either steroid in sports or
replacing the BCS system with a playoff in college football.
Interviewer: Why would those things be important to Congress?
Congressman: Well, first of all, Miss smarty pants interviewer, they are subjects where
it makes Congress looks like we really care about something and so it makes us look
good. And second it's something we can't really get in trouble for. Even though a lot of
us take steroids and really, any type of drug you could imagine, legal or illegal, we
aren't professional athletes, so it takes the limelight off of us and puts it somewhere
else.
Interviewer: But how do those things fall under your jurisdiction?
Congressman: I guess you aren't listening. I already said it makes us look good and
that is our biggest jurisdiction.
At that time a couple of Secret Service agent swept in and carted the interviewer off,
never to be heard from again.
And with that said, it would be nice if we could just get rid of these guys by
"unfriending" them in our Facebook accounts but at least we can vote them out in the
next election.