just like the next. Enjoy making your own might cost twice as much as the one in the
Ten Tips traditions. A unique and personalized memo- next town.
rial observance is what others will remember.
Don’t feel obligated to put on a big “show” 6. Plan a memorial service without the
1. Talk about funerals with family mem- when the deceased has been prominent dur- body present. In that case, there would be no
bers ahead of time so they all will know ing his or her lifetime. For the cremation of need for embalming, a fancy casket, or ex-
your wishes and you will know theirs. If your the author of The American Way of Death, pensive transporting of the body back and
plans are mentioned only in a will, the will Jessica Mitford's family spent just under forth. Private family visitation and “good-
may not be read until long after other ar- $500. Shortly thereafter, they hosted a grand byes” can occur in the hospital or home, be-
rangements have been made. If Mom had memorial gathering. It was very much in fore you call a funeral director. Use a church,
always said she wanted something “simple” keeping with Jessica's disdain of lavish fu- park, or community center for the memorial
and you aren't sure what she meant, you may neral merchandise but love of a good party service without attending funeral home staff.
end up purchasing a great deal more than Again, with this option, you do not have to
something truly “simple.” Or perhaps Mom 4. Make your own or buy online. You can use a local funeral home.
told everyone what kind of funeral she find caskets or kits on line for a fraction of
wanted, but she had no idea that it would cost the retail price. It is illegal for a mortuary to 7. Skip embalming. Embalming is not rou-
far more than anyone could afford. charge a “handling fee” for using a casket tinely required by law. Some circumstances
obtained elsewhere. Or, choose a “minimum may precipitate the need for embalming, but
2. Price shop by phone or in person. Price- container” from the mortuary and drape it in no state is it necessary when burial or cre-
shopping can save you thousands of dollars. with attractive material, a hand-made quilt, or mation is planned within a day or so.
The funeral home in your neighborhood may a flag. Most people know what's involved in
be three times as expensive as one across growing a head of lettuce or a few tomatoes 8. Consider body donation to a medical
town. By law, funeral homes have to give and would think $10 each was an outrageous school. In some areas, there may be no cost
you prices over the phone, or hand you a price; they probably would stop buying them. to the family whatsoever. In other circum-
General Price List when you start talking Few consumers realize that caskets may be stances, the cost of transporting the body
about prices at the funeral home. If the GPL marked up 300-500% or more. A casket that may be the only cost. Generally, cremated
shows that caskets begin at $595, did you ask is listed for $1,295 at the funeral home might remains are returned to the family within a
to see one if it was not on display? wholesale for only $325. That same casket is year or two.
probably available from a casket retailer for
3. Only buy what you want. If you are $650. 9. Some cemeteries may require a grave
shopping for a funeral at the time of death liner or vault, but not all. There is no state
take a friend with you, someone who will 5. Consider the “direct burial” or “imme- law that does. If you prefer body burial, ask
help you be sure you buy only what you diate cremation” packages. These plans do for a “grave liner” rather than a “coffin vault”
want. Don’t buy more than you intended out not necessitate buying grand caskets, em- at a fraction of the price. And again, be sure
of guilt. People often think that how much balming, cosmetic touch-ups, or funeral ser- to shop around. The “outer burial container”
they spend is a demonstration of how much vices and processions. Cemetery space for is a way for morticians to increase their in-
they love someone. Don’t buy more because cremated remains is generally — but not al- come and is an added burden on your funeral
of fears of being “different” or “cheap” or ways — less expensive than the space needed finances. With prices as much or more than
worries about “What people will think?” Fu- for a body burial. Cremated remains can be caskets, remember that it is just a box-for-
neral sales literature today commonly refers buried/scattered almost wherever you choose. the-box which gets quickly covered by the
to a “traditional” funeral package (meaning Also, if you choose one of these options, you cemetery lawn.
elaborate and a good profit margin for the don’t need to use a local funeral home which
mortician), with one funeral often looking
10. Consider handling all arrangements
without using a mortuary. Most people also Additional Resources
don't know that in the majority of states a
family or church group may handle a death Dealing Creatively with Death: a Manual of
without the use of a funeral home and many Death Education and Simple Burial by
families have found it loving and therapeutic. Ernest Morgan, Upper Access, 2000, 14th
The book, Caring for the Dead: Your Final edition, 160 pages, $14.95 (member price
Act of Love, gives a great deal of state spe-
cific practical information, and the PBS
$7.50) + S/H
A concise and readable guide on
10 Tips
documentary, A Family Undertaking follows
the stories of several families. Both are in-
simplicity in funeral arrangements, crema-
tion, body and organ donation, advice on
for
valuable resources for anyone choosing this
meaningful way to say goodbye.
procedures at the time of death, suggestions
for memorial services, and much more.
Saving Funeral
And, a bonus tip: Join your local Funeral
A Family Undertaking by Elizabeth We-
strate, Fanlight Productions, 2003. Available
Dollars
Consumers Alliance. Some have contracts
on Netflix or for purchase at
with local funeral homes for services at a
www.fanlight.com
reduced price for members. Some have done
Prior to the 20th century, most
a price survey and have done the price-
Americans prepared their dead for burial
shopping for you already. Most will refer you
with the help of family and friends, but today
to an ethical funeral home. There are recipro-
most funerals are part of a multimillion-
cal benefits if you move to or die in another
dollar industry run by professionals. "A
state. Supporting an Alliance will help to
Family Undertaking" explores the growing
keep this consumer information available for
home-funeral movement by following several
future generations, and the membership con-
families in their most intimate moments as
tribution is modest.
they reclaim the end of life, forgoing a typi-
cal mortuary funeral to care for their loved
Remember: Funeral directors are business
ones at home.
people who deserve to be paid for what they
do. However, it is your job, as a funeral con- Funeral Consumers
Order these books and see more at
sumer, to be well-educated about your fu- Information Society
www.funerals.org or call 800-765-0107.
neral choices, to determine the kind of fu- P.O. Box 24054
neral or memorial service that meets the Detroit, MI 48224
needs of your family, and to locate an ethi- 313-886-0998
cally-priced facility that will honor your
choices with caring and dignity.
www.funeralinformationsociety.org
~2008~