Nothing can adequately describe the The Effects of bereavement and You may also feel angry with God for
heart-rending pain and depth of emotion grief. allowing so much pain and suffering and
we experience through bereavement. We can react physically with symptoms of then guilty with yourself for feeling this
However, having awareness about what stress which can include: rapid heart rate, way.
happens when we grieve can help us to sweating, feeling sick, dizziness, tiredness, Acknowledging anger, especially in
cope. loss of appetite, aches and pains. It’s also prayer, can be a helpful step in the
This leaflet aims to provide information normal to feel confused and to have healing process. God knows how you are
and offer some practical help to those who difficulty concentrating. feeling anyway and you can be honest
may be suffering loss right now and also The process of grieving can be described in with Him. You may find it helpful to talk it
for those who may be supporting someone different ways. The following are some of over with someone who will listen to you
who has been bereaved. the reactions one might have: Shock, and be understanding. The CCG contact
Denial, Anger, Guilt, Fear, Sadness, and number and email address are at the end
What is bereavement? eventually, Acceptance. of this leaflet.
Bereavement can be described as our A person may experience one emotion at a
feeling of loss when someone dear to us time although it’s more likely that s/he will Fear and Sadness
dies. It causes a huge readjustment in our feel a jumble of emotions all at once. Deep sadness is the underlying emotion
lives. Other changes in our lives such as of grief. It’s normal to have feelings of
redundancy, ill health, children growing up Shock and Denial helplessness and hopelessness and to
and leaving home, can also mean we have These emotions tend to lessen the fear the future. Depression can set in
to readjust our lives and this can also harshness of the immediate blow of death. after the shock, numbness and anger
create a significant sense of loss and grief. Shock is usually the first response people have abated. Energy levels may be
feel especially if the death is sudden. Even severely depleted and crying episodes
Grief if death was expected there is often a may seem to continue endlessly.
Grief is the natural response to loss. It’s a feeling of disbelief.
God-given process and tears can help us A person may feel numb - going through Acceptance
to release some of the pain we feel. When the motions of everyday life without feeling Acknowledging the loss and allowing
we lose someone close to us, there is a anything at all. They may seem to be oneself to experience the painful
keen awareness of the huge hole left in coping almost as if nothing has happened emotions of bereavement can, in time,
our lives by their death, that no-one else and may feel unable to cry. In denial a lead to an acceptance of life without the
can fill. We can feel we have lost part of person may fantasize that they have seen loved one. This does not mean forgetting
ourselves. their loved one or expect them to walk but rather a gradual reorganisation as
through the door. one begins to take on life again.
Grieving is a mixture of deeply felt, heart
aching emotions which come and go, often Anger and Guilt How long will grieving last?
without any warning. The pain we feel can Anger is a normal response to The time scale varies for every individual.
seem unbearable at times and we may bereavement. It can be anger with the It could be weeks, months or years. As a
wonder if it will ever end. loved one for dying, or with the doctors, or rough guide, by the end of two years, the
you may be angry with yourself and feel majority of bereaved will feel that they
guilty because” I should/shouldn’t have . . ”. are beginning to readjust to their loss.
Ways of Coping with Bereavement Grieving is a painful process of
Talk about it with those who care about readjustment. The way out of it is through
you and will listen. Express your sadness. it and as brothers and sisters in Christ it can
Grief is a pain that may get in the way be a privilege to help and be helped by one
later if it is ignored. You may wish to another on this journey.
contact the CSN helpline.
“Hear my prayer, O LORD,
For some people loss brings them closer to And give ear to my cry;
Do not be silent at my tears;
BEREAVEMENT
God. For others, it is a time of doubt, fear,
Psalm 39.12 NKJV
and questioning. If you find it difficult to
pray it can help to ask others to pray for
you, for example through the CSN Prayer
line.
……………………………………………
Eat well and exercise. Try to maintain
some sort of daily routine. Remember If you need someone to talk to (anonymously if
however, that grieving can be exhausting you prefer) and in confidence – ring our national
and it’s important not to overdo things. help line or email:
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Forgive Phone: 0845 11 300 72
yourself for the things you believe you Email: help@chsn.org.uk
should/shouldn’t have said or done. Produced by the
If you would like brothers and sisters to pray for
Let others be there for you. Sometimes we you or your family contact the CCG Prayer Line:
don’t want to be a burden on others and
we keep our grief hidden. This may Phone: 0845 643 2572
prolong the process of grieving. It may
also deny our brother/sister the Please see the CCG Prayer Line leaflet for more
opportunity of showing us how much they information.
care.
Think about seeing your GP if your grief is For more information on Support Network resources
so severe that you feel constantly anxious please contact:
Andrew & Sue Collinge, 12 Rosafield Avenue,
and depressed, or if you are unable to Halesowen, West Midlands, B62 9BU.Tel: 0121 602
accept the loss even after a number of 2810
years. Email: admin@chsn.org.uk