Strange_ Weird_ and Wonderful Magazine Strange_ Weird_ and

Strange, Weird, and Wonderful Magazine

An Unforgettable Short Fiction

E-Quarterly









In This Issue Fall 2009

Jeani Reactor Regina Glei Abra Staffin Wiebe Deborah Walker Timothy W. Long

Sharon M. White Bret Tallman

EDITORIAL



spoken,

Our readers have spoken, or more correctly, they have

emailed their choices. Results of our 1st annual, ‘‘Best of

choices. annual, Best

Awards,’ in.

Awards,’ are in. Voting, I must admit was very sporadic

it’

with our winners being chosen from a 100% reader vote; it’s

everyone

as if everyone who felt their favorite story should win a

certain category, sent in their emails on the same day.

Then there would be a period of absolutely no voting, until once again, a

votes.

certain group decided the story they wanted to win, needed a few more votes.

This went on and on for the entire voting period.

There were a few surprises, but every winner in every category deserved to

win, and Sharon and I are extremely proud of everyone. Your short stories

and your artwork are what have made Strange, Weird, and Wonderful

Magazine’s first year a very successful one.

On a more serious note, I must unfortunately inform everyone our only prize

ion.

recognition

was that of recognition. We wanted to send out awards, but alas, in these

tough

tough economic times, it was just not in the budget. Hopefully, next year we

(hint… hint…)

can have an award designed for our winners. (hint hint )

I would also like your input on naming such as award. These things are

genre,

usually named after a deceased giant within a specific genre, and I am partial

Ellison,”

to “The Ellison,” although Harlan Ellison is still alive and kicking, I feel his body

of work is best described as “Strange, Weird, and Wonderful.” Feel free to

dlrussell@strangeweirdandwonderful.com

drop me a quick email at dlrussell@strangeweirdandwonderful.com with your

“hint…”

thoughts on our Winners, the “hint ” and on a possible name for the “hint ” “hint…”

Artists

I also need to apologize to the Artists, who were in the running, this year.

categories,

Not until after I had posted all the information about the different categories,

“Best Art.”

did I realize I had left out a category for “Best Work of Art.” Next year, I

promise everyone this will have its own category.

Well… “The 1st Annual Best of Awards” are all on the books now.

Well Awards” Written in

pen, stamped in blood. Enjoy!





DLR





2

TABLE

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Fiction

24 The Bus Station by Jeani Rector

22 Devil’s Hide by Sharon M. White

34 So Lonely the Stars by Timothy W. Long

44 A Different Man, A Better Moon by Bret Tallman

60 Dr. Millicent and the Wall by Deborah Walker

Prompt

Story Prompt Winner(s)

73 Fainting for Zieda by Julie Tudyk

74 The Grove by Ronald Anick

77 New Contest Prompts

78 The Radiator Burped by Abra Staffin Wiebe

90 Lunatic by Regina Glei



Non-

Non-Fiction/Articles



12 Editorial by D. L. Russell

12 1St Annual “Best of Awards” Winners

Annual

42 Hey! By Sharon Black

59 Green Watch: EFuel Corporation Taking On Big Oil by D. L. Russell

69 The Anigao Girls of Japan by Mark Lee Pearson

89 Shadows of the Emerald City Book Review by D. L. Russell



Artwork

Cover

- Cover Felicia Autry

04 Felicia Autry

22 Amber Chaffee

34 Dustin Cox

44 Dustin Cox

60 Jeremy Martinson

78 David Burton

90 David Burton



Poetry



33 Sanders-

Blood is Red, The Sky is Dark Blue by Haley Sanders-Turner

33 Halloween by Anonymous

33 Next

You Lay Next To Me by Mike Icon

43 Halloween This Time by Stan Pickes

57 Sumptor-

Halloween Jail Cell Soup by Courtney Sumptor-Smith

72 Sucking Bladders by Charles Gobi

72 Halloween Beat Down by Yocum Degrassi

72 Shoe Snot by Yocum Degrassi

88 Cannot

Space So Dark I Cannot Breath by Boris Oakfield

100 Thought Goddess by James Jason Dye

101 Halloween Hills by Moby Barnes



3

4

The Bus Station and his eyes almost glowed night inside the crazy-man’s

By Jeani Rector from either drugs or insanity. Pontiac. My backpack held

And I instinctively knew: all my clothes, and that was





I ’m not going to tell

you who I am.

At least, not until

you read my story first.

Because if I tell you who I

the minute I handed over my

money, he would kill me.

Without thinking, I took

advantage of the driver’s

attention to the road and

long gone in a cloud of

exhaust fumes. Fortunately,

my wallet held my money and

ID, and the wallet was still

safely tucked into my back

am up front, you would put pushed open the passenger pocket.

this paper down and walk door. “Hey!” the driver cried, And then there was the

away in disgust. You but the surprise caused his other issue. It was the middle

wouldn’t give me a chance to reactions to slow. of the night and I had no idea

tell my side of the story at all. I didn’t know how fast we where I was.

But bear with me, because were going, but I judged it I picked myself off the

I promise: if you read this couldn’t have been too bad ground and dusted off my

account, all of it, then I will since it was a country road. I jeans. Then I took in my

tell you who I am at the end. had no other option. I curled surroundings. Apparently the

And maybe by the time I into a ball and launched crazy driver had taken a

am done telling you my side myself out the car door. detour while I was asleep in

of the story, you could The flight through the air his car. Which made sense to

understand it enough to seemed endless, but I knew it me: if you plan to murder

forgive me. was probably just seconds. someone, you want to do it in

*** The ground came up at me a lonely location. I ought to

I woke up because I felt a hard, and I rolled, jarring and know. Wait, I don’t want to

gun poking into my ribs. scraping until I finally came give you any clues as to my

Confused with sleep, it took a to a stop. The old Pontiac identity yet.

moment before I remembered gunned it and barreled away Anyway, I knew I was

where I was; I had been into the night, leaving nothing lost, but there was nothing

hitchhiking and this was my behind except me and the else to do but walk. And so I

ride, and now the driver of the smell of exhaust. did; I walked down the lonely

old Pontiac was sticking a I lay on the hard top in the country road in the night.

gun into my ribs. dark, groaning, and moved The full moon vanished

“What’re you doing?” I slowly to check and see if and reappeared as clouds

asked. anything was broken or crept across its surface,

“Whaddya think,” he said, otherwise badly injured. I creating shadows that danced

“gimme your money.” gave thanks that I was a in the night. The dampness in

I looked at him. The young man, sturdy and strong, the misty air caused dew to

original unease that I had felt and realized that I would sparkle on the roadside

getting into this car was survive this without more weeds, and the trees

proving to be right. The driver than a few scrapes and overhanging the road seemed

seemed hyped up; his dirty bruises. to be ever so slightly moving

hair was matted with sweat But all of my belongings and rustling in the cool, soft

were now headed off into the breeze. Crickets chirped

5

merrily away, and a screech Suddenly I felt a hand want to go into details. I

owl shrilled as it hunted in the grasp my shoulder from figured telling her about the

darkness. The sounds of toads behind. crazy Pontiac man would

and frogs calling from either I screamed and dropped to frighten her.

side of the road created a my knees in fright, shutting “I’m lost because I haven’t

musical opus, and every so my eyes. My heart was been found yet,” she said.

often I could hear rustling pounding against my ribcage “What?”

sounds within the roadside and I just knew it was the “My body. I’m over

bushes, as though creatures of crazy Pontiac man, back to there.” She jerked a thumb to

the night were stealthily kill me. the side of the road. “In the

traveling through them. “Don’t yell!” a woman’s bushes. But you know about

I kept walking, putting one voice said. “I’m not going to women like me, don’t you?

foot in front of the other, not hurt you.” Want to see what we look like

sure if I was going in the right I opened my eyes and after we’ve been discarded?”

direction; I wasn’t even looked up to see an attractive, I couldn’t have heard her

positive that there was any slender girl who was dressed right. My jaw was open

right direction. It was like a hippie; she was very because I was so

unnerving to be so incredibly retro from the 1970s. She dumbfounded. Was she

lost. And what if the crazy looked to be in her early another crazy person?

Pontiac man came back? twenties. Crazy! Everyone was

Relax, I told myself. This I got off the ground, but I crazy. What was it about this

is America, and sooner or could barely speak, because I particular night that brought

later there will be a town. was still trembling so out the insane?

This isn’t some Australian violently from the scare. I And then suddenly the

outback wilderness where I’d managed to get out, “You young woman began to shake

starve to death before anyone surprised me. What the hell and tremble violently, and

found me. are you doing out here in the then her eyes rolled upwards

But in the meantime, my middle of nowhere?” until they appeared

surroundings looked like “Well,” said the girl, “I completely white. The skin

something out of a horror could be asking you the same on her face began to slide,

movie. The mist swirled up thing.” falling off her face towards

from the ground, the moon Despite myself, I grinned. his chin. Her hair began to

was full, and it was easy to It was true. It wasn’t normal fall out as her scalp began to

imagine Bela Lugosi creeping for anybody to be in the disintegrate into patches,

through the vapor with his middle of nowhere at night. allowing the calcified skull to

cape half covering his face. “I’m lost,” I told her. shine through in the

Long, twisted tree limbs “Me too,” she said. moonlight. The orbs of her

seemed everywhere, and the Amazed that two people eyes shriveled, dried up and

full moon’s light shined upon could be lost on the same fell back into her head, and

those trees, creating shadows country road, I asked her, her nose began to crumble.

that were stripes across the “How come you’re lost? I Her teeth gleamed as the

road in front of me. was hitchhiking and this is surrounding lips disappeared.

where I got let out.” I didn’t __The hideous transformation

6

continued, and spread to the terrible thing? Could it be my Pushing the front door

body. She fell to the ground, conscience haunting me? open, I walked inside. It was

and from out of the bushes But if it had been only my a very small station, the

leaped a coyote, who grabbed conscience, then why had it smallest I had ever seen.

the young woman’s arm in his seemed so real? It had Blue plastic chairs were

mouth. The coyote yanked the seemed so horribly real. I bolted to a horizontal metal

arm free and instantly was baffled and still terrified. bar. The linoleum floor was

disappeared with it, once I stayed on my knees for a faded, scratched, and dirty.

again swallowed by the while, trying to collect my The walls were painted a dull

foliage next to the road. wits. And when I finally gray-green, and one wall held

The outdated clothes on stopped trembling, and my a rack of travel brochures.

the body began to seem too legs stopped feeling rubbery, I stepped up to the clerk’s

large as the flesh shrunk away I decided to deny the incident. cage to buy a bus ticket, only

to leave only the structure of It wasn’t real, I thought. to find it empty. A paper sign

the skeleton. The heap of I’m tired and lost and my said Be Back At and

bones lay upon the road, and mind played tricks on me. underneath it showed a clock

the clothes upon them began Maybe I was even saying Ten O’Clock. I looked

to visibly fray and tear. A sleepwalking. Yeah, that’s it. I at my watch. It was already

strong breeze suddenly blew, hear that people sleepwalk all quarter after ten.

picking up the lighter, smaller the time. Turning around, I saw a

bones of the remaining hand And so I stood back up. young woman sitting on one

and the feet and scattering And I started walking again. of the plastic chairs. At first I

them into the bushes. Eventually the dirt road was startled, thinking she was

The whole thing took only opened into one that was the dead girl on the country

seconds, almost too fast for paved; it was no less lonely, road, but then I shook my

me to react. I threw my hands but at least it appeared more head. I would not think about

up to cover my eyes. “No!” I civilized. the other girl; it had been a

screamed to the night. “This After walking for about an hallucination caused by

isn’t happening! Please, make hour, I came upon a sign that exhaustion and fear. I was

it go away!” read Greyhound Station, not going crazy, no, I was not

I took my hands away Quarter Mile Ahead. I was crazy. This girl in the bus

from my face and looked. never so glad to see anything station was real.

Nothing. in my life as I was to see that Assessing her, I figured

There was no dead girl sign. her to be a traveler just like

decaying in front of me, or Reaching the Greyhound me, because she had a dirty

decaying anywhere else. Station, I saw what a small backpack on the floor in front

There was no girl. There building it was. But of course of her. She had long dark hair

never had been. it would be; this was the and wore a fuzzy-looking

For the second time that country where no one seemed jacket, but I knew from the

night I sank to my knees on to live, and frankly I was tight jeans showing off her

the lonely country road. I surprised that there would be long legs that the jacket was

was horrified and exhausted. any bus station at all, way out hiding a magnificent figure

Why had I imagined such a here in the sticks. underneath.

7

Was she all alone? There “Tell it to my Ma.” any ghosts, do you? Besides,

seemed to be no one else in “So, where’re you I’ve heard scarier stories than

the entire station. headed?” that one.”

Oh hell, after all that had “Wherever the next bus is “So tell me a scarier

already happened, what was going.” story.”

one more risk? “Well, ain’t you the “How about a guy that

I strode over to her and mysterious one? The next bus travels around the country

asked her if I could sit next to means you’ll be riding with killing people?”

her. She looked around at all me to Chester Depot,” she She scoffed. “You ain’t

the empty chairs in the said. “Happy Halloween on a very original, are ya? I can

Greyhound station, then Greyhound. Hey, have you read that kind of stuff in any

looked back to me. “Why?” heard the Halloween ghost newspaper.”

she asked. story about this bus station?” Ignoring that, I looked

I sighed. “I’m tired, and I “Nope. Remember, I’m around the empty bus station.

could sure use the company.” the one who didn’t even know “I have to admit, it’s kind of

She giggled. “Yeah, look it was Halloween,” I spooky here. Good thing you

at this dump. It’s not exactly reminded her. have me to protect you from

hopping. What a way to spend She used a hand to brush the so-called Halloween

Halloween, huh?” the hair from her face, and I ghost.”

I took that as an invitation was stimulated. Her face was “Yeah, but who’s gonna

and sat next to her. And then almost pretty, with unusual protect me from you?”

what she said hit me. Maybe gray-green eyes. I’d let I swung my gaze away

that could explain the weird Mandy talk about anything from the room to study her

events of this evening. “It’s she wanted if it would give face. Did she know? Of

Halloween?” me a chance to get close to course not. This was a very

“It sure is. You didn’t her. trusting girl. My kind of girl.

know? Where’ve you been “Well,” she began, “a few She started laughing at her

all month?” years ago, there was this girl own joke, and I relaxed. “I’m

I didn’t want to tell her waiting for a bus, just like me. harmless,” I told her, hoping

where I’d been, so I changed Then wham! Some stranger she would believe me.

the subject. “Where’re you walks in and blows her away Her gaze drifted, and then

headed?” with a shotgun. Now the she turned around to look at

“Chester Depot,” she said. dead girl haunts this bus the clerk’s cage, still empty.

“Population seven hundred. station once a year, every “I wonder when that clerk is

My name’s Mandy, by the Halloween night.” supposed to come back so I

way.” “Imagine spending an can buy my bus ticket.”

“I’m Floyd,” I told her, eternity out in the sticks, “It does seem like a pretty

and shook her hand. It felt so stuck here in this Greyhound long break, doesn’t it?” I

soft and inviting. bus station,” I said. agreed.

“Floyd? That’s kind of an “You don’t believe me,” We became quiet as an

old fashioned name, ain’t it? Mandy accused. uncomfortable silence settled

I mean, even for Vermont’s “Well,” I said, “Tonight is between us. Then Mandy

standards.” Halloween, and I don’t see said, “Did you hear that?”

8

I looked at her. “What?” “It’s Halloween and hesitate and that provided me

“I don’t know,” she said, you’re supposed to give me with an advantage.

“it sounded like something candy,” the man said as he I wrestled him to the floor.

outside the station. Maybe the continued to approach us. He still grasped the shotgun

clerk is coming back.” “That’s my treat. Got no and I knew my only hope was

The front door burst open, candy, and I’ll give you a to take it from him. Sweat

and Mandy screamed with trick. Now gimme your poured into my eyes and I

surprise. A man stepped wallets. Throw ‘em down on tried to blink it away. I

inside, carrying a shotgun. the floor.” couldn’t let my vision blur.

Raising the gun, he shouted “The Greyhound clerk is This was life or death.

“Trick or treat!” coming,” Mandy tried. I tried to hold the man

I had an eerie feeling of “No he ain’t,” the crazy down with one hand while at

being caught in slow motion, Pontiac man with the shotgun the same time, I reached for

like someone had slowed said. I didn’t ask how he the gun with the other hand.

down some sort of recording knew no one was coming. He writhed, twisted and

device. Seconds seemed to Instead I thought to myself, lurched underneath me like a

stretch like rubber bands. I So that’s why the clerk never bucking bronco. I couldn’t

had an out-of-body sensation came back. get the gun; he kept jerking it

like I was a third party Mandy dug into her purse away. I couldn’t reach

watching from afar. It for her wallet and I retrieved it…wait, where was Mandy?

seemed so unreal. mine. We both threw the “Mandy!” I yelled. “Help

I knew who he was. wallets on the floor. I was me! Get his gun!”

And I knew I was about to watching the crazy man’s I could hear her coming. I

die. eyes, and I understood that he couldn’t look at her because I

The man with the shotgun would hurt us after all; yes was still fighting the crazy

seemed hyped up; his dirty indeed, wallets or no wallets. man on the floor. But my

hair was matted with sweat You need a lonely spot to heart leapt with hope…with

and his eyes almost glowed murder people, I thought. Mandy, it would be two

from either drugs or insanity. With the clerk dead, there is against one!

I recognized him to be the no spot lonelier than a tiny And then the shotgun went

crazy driver of the Pontiac. bus station in the middle of off. BLAM!

He had tried to kill me nowhere. The sound was deafening

once, and I had gotten away. The man cocked the and my ears were ringing.

Now he was back to finish the shotgun. Thank god, I thought, it

job. It was now or never. My wasn’t me. I wasn’t shot!

The crazy man advanced, mind screamed OW! An extra burst of energy

aiming the shotgun. I rushed at the crazy man, seemed to come from

“Why are you doing this?” throwing myself, aiming for nowhere. Perhaps it was the

Mandy screamed at him, but I his legs, wanting to knock gun going off; perhaps it was

held my tongue. I knew there him down. Fear gave me the idea that I had come so

was no reasoning with a power and adrenaline gave close to dying that I had

madman. me strength. The crazy man’s nothing left to lose.

utter surprise made him

9

I don’t know where my this bus station every meant civilization was close

strength came from, but it did. Halloween night. Three, if by.

I shoved the crazy man Mandy’s ghost story was I wondered about the time.

against the floor, and correct. Checking my watch, I saw it

wrenched his gun arm so hard Then I picked up my was quarter to twelve. I felt a

that I could feel something wallet from the floor of the wave of superstition pass

inside it snap. The man roared bus station, and put it back through me; it couldn’t be a

with pain and I used that to into my pocket. Stepping good thing to be lost at

my advantage. over the two bodies, I headed midnight on Halloween night.

I grabbed the shotgun. for the door. Maybe I would I began walking quickly in

Jumping to my feet, I have better luck with the direction away from the

swung the gun around and hitchhiking than I did trying Greyhound Station. The

cocked it. I didn’t think to catch a Greyhound bus in darkness had become dense

twice; didn’t hesitate for even the middle of nowhere on a because clouds were covering

a moment. Aiming the gun at Halloween night. the full moon. The wind was

the crazy man’s face, I pulled For a moment I questioned mild, but an occasional gust

the trigger. Both barrels myself. Shouldn’t I be suggested a pending storm.

blasted and the man’s face feeling more emotion after The air was unseasonably

exploded into fragments, everything that had happened warm for October, a drastic

splattering everywhere. inside that bus station? change from the previous

I stood above the Instead I felt numb. Maybe I week, but it was humid and

desecrated man for a moment, was in shock. thick with moisture.

studying the damage, Or maybe I was just glad A rumbling sounded in the

morbidly fascinated at the that the crazy Pontiac man distance, reverberating softly

after effects of a shotgun blast was dead and unable to across the land. I could smell

to the face. threaten me any more. rain, and I hoped it wouldn’t

“Trick or treat,” I said to The girl out there on the arrive until I got to wherever I

the dead man. “It’s your trick country road was dead too, a was going.

and my treat.” voice spoke in my mind, and I noticed something in the

And then I remembered she came back. Hadn’t she road ahead. It looked like a

Mandy. looked familiar? dead deer on the road.

I turned around. She was “No!” I shouted out loud. Somebody must have hit it

lying on the floor, her arms “There was no girl on any with a car, I thought. Maybe

and legs crossed in an road! The only dead girl is the crazy Pontiac guy hit the

unnatural position. Her face Mandy! And she’s real! And deer. o, he’s dead.

was unrecognizable. Blood the crazy Pontiac guy is real Well, whatever it was, I

poured from her head, too! And he’s just as dead as would be seeing it up close

creating maroon puddles upon Mandy is! And none of it is soon. I rapidly approached

the floor. my fault!” the thing, and a feeling of

So the crazy man’s shot With that, I started apprehension crept up on me.

had been an accurate one. walking back to the road, The hairs on my arms stood

I sighed sadly. Now there feeling glad it was paved. If up in the follicles, and I felt a

would be two ghosts to haunt the road was paved, that tingling in my fingers.

10

And then I was close And when I finally found a You see, I cannot believe

enough to see what it really town, I checked myself into that I would have felt any

was. This was no deer. the cheapest motel I could guilt over killing a clerk or a

A man was lying in the find. I used my real ID. And I girl at a Greyhound bus

middle of the road, wearing a slept a deep, dreamless sleep. station. Let me tell you why.

Greyhound uniform. Until the next morning My name is Floyd Tapson.

Suddenly he sat up and said, when the cops banged on my Yes, that Floyd Tapson. I’ve

“You want to buy a bus ticket motel door. murdered three girls in three

to Chester Depot? That’ll be *** different states, before I ever

forty dollars one way.” So now you see what went met Mandy. I was a traveler,

I could feel my eyes down on that Halloween and sometimes the urge

bulging. I threw my hands night. I didn’t kill anyone. would become so

over my face and screamed. At least, not that night. overwhelming….it would

No! This was not happening! The prison psychiatrist is build and build until I felt

The crazy Pontiac man had telling me otherwise. He is compelled to act it out.

killed the clerk! The clerk telling me that there was no So, shouldn’t I know who

was somewhere back at the crazy man driving a Pontiac. I killed and who I didn’t?

station! No one was here on He is telling me that I God, it’s so confusing. The

the road but me; no one had manifested the phantom cops say it was my shotgun

ever been here on the road but “crazy man” as a delusion that Halloween night. What’s

me! because I was unable to so ironic is that I’m in prison

Reluctantly I took my accept that it was me who for two people I didn’t kill,

hands away from my eyes. murdered the clerk and the and nobody knows about the

The road was empty. There girl in the bus station. He is three that I did kill.

was no Greyhound clerk lying telling me that I invented a Either way, I’ll bet there is

there, and there never had scapegoat to take the blame a ghost or two haunting a

been. Was I going crazy? Of because I could not face my little, out-of-the-way

course not. I was just feeling own wrongdoings. Greyhound Bus station in

overwhelmed. I had just When I went to court, they Vermont. If you ever find

witnessed shotgun killings had all this evidence against yourself there on a Halloween

back at the bus station. That me for Mandy’s death. The night, can you write me a

would be enough to shake clerk’s death too. It was truly letter and let me know if the

anyone up. And I was feeling baffling. I just cannot figure one of the ghosts is the crazy

irrationally superstitious on a out why they never found the Pontiac man?

Halloween night. I just crazy Pontiac man’s body

needed a good night’s sleep. there in the bus station. -The End

Jeani Rector says… most people go to Disneyland while in

Probably Mandy’s Okay. Now I am ready to Southern California, but she went to the Fangoria Weekend

of Horror there instead. She grew up watching the Bob

Halloween ghost story set my tell you who I am. Wilkins Creature Feature on television and lived in a house

that had the walls covered with framed Universal Monsters

imagination off, I thought. I wanted to tell my story posters. It is all in good fun and actually, most people who

know Jeani personally are of the opinion that she is a very

Soon, if I keep walking, I’ll first, because I want you to normal person. She just writes abnormal stories. Doesn’t

everybody? Her stories are featured in magazines such as

find a town and then all of understand it all. Horrormasters, Morbid Outlook, Lost Souls, Horror in

Words, Black Petals, Hackwriters, Bewildering Stories,

Aphelion, Ultraverse, Story Mania, Macabre Cadaver, New

this will be over. Voices in Horror, All Destiny, and many others. You can

contact Jeani Rector at www.aroundadarkcorner.com.





11

12

Title: The Corpus Lupi Experiment

by: Savannah Schroll Guz

Artwork by: T. J. Armstead

Issue: Winter ‘09

Award(s): Best Work of Fiction, Best Horror Story 7000 to

15,000 Words



Savannah Schroll Guz wrote The Corpus Lupi Experiment at my request.

She had initially submitted a 1000 word story for one of our Prompt

Contest, but after reading her submission, and looking at her background, I

knew I had a talented writer on my hands. I asked if she would be

interested in writing a story from a prompt, something which has now been done several times

for our publication, with several other writers. It was Savannah’s knack for giving readers an

inside view of her characters that made me make the initial request, and after she completed the

assignment, I was more than pleased with her outcome. It appears the majority of our readers

agree.









Title: Tale of Sally, Queen of Burger World

by: Matthew Sideman

Artwork by: Krista Gonsalves

Issue: Fall ‘08

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Work of Fiction, Winner Best

Fantasy Story 7000 to 15,000 Words



According to Matthew, Tale of Sally, Queen of Burger World’s creation

grew out of being a lonely child who watched “Wayyyyyy too much

television.” The nice world portrayed in McDonaldland and even the

world of the Care Bears just wasn’t enough for Matthew; as he knew that

underneath there were more insidious goings on, such as child abuse and neglect. Someone had

to tell that story, and for Matthew, “Sally, the little redhead burger girl” was the perfect

underdog to help him do it.



We loved this story because it made us look at the everyday, in a whole new way and we hope

Matthew Sideman will continue to make us cautious, and wide-eyed for the bad side of things.

13

Title: It’s Only a Child’s Toy

by: Dina Leacock

Artwork by: Marlo Dianne

Issue: Fall ‘08

Award(s): Best Horror Story 2500 to 6999 Words



When my son, Steve, was twelve, he bought a toucan puppet in the dollar

store. Afterward, as we went shopping at the supermarket next door, Steve

started talking to the puppet and held it up to his ear as if it were talking

back to him.

Suddenly, he grabbed his face with the hand puppet and started

screaming, “Help, he’s eating my face! Someone, help! The bird’s got my face. OW! OW!

Make him stop! Make him stop!” but I ignored him and the puppet and started shopping down

another aisle. Everyone was now staring at us, some laughing, some more horrified. I gave up

and began laughing so hard, I actually started crying, tears streaming down my cheeks. That

scene stayed with me for several months, and a story about a possessive, jealous puppet started

to grow.

Originally, it was a humorous story, but it changed as the characters developed serious issues

that demanded a more dramatic approach.









Title: Wicked Wire

by: Joel Arnold

Artwork by: Marlo Dianne

Issue: Fall ‘08

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Horror Story 2500 to 6999

Words



A personal favorite, this story actually was the inspiration for our

“Featured Writer’s.” Joel Arnold wrote a tight, haunting tale that still give

me shivers, every time I read it.









14

Title: The Corpus Lupi Experiment

by: Savannah Schroll Guz

Artwork by: T. J. Armstead

Issue: Winter ‘09

Award(s): Best Work of Fiction, Best Horror Story 7000 to

15,000 Words



See “Best Work of Fiction” Award Winner









Title: A Man of Science

by: Camille Alexa

Artwork by: Dustin Cox

Issue: Spring ‘09

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Horror Story 7000 to 15,000

Words



This one that snuck up on me. I can remember opening the submission

email, looking at the title and thinking I had a pretty straight forward piece

of science fiction on my hands, but “A Man of Science,” turned out to be a

first rate horror story, and I read it from beginning to end right then. After the final page, all I

could say was, “Wow! I didn’t see that coming.”









15

Title: Luck of the Dragon

by: Stephanie Bedwell-Grime

Artwork by: T. J. Armstead

Issue: Winter ‘09

Award(s): Best Fantasy Story – 2500 to 6999 Words



"Luck of the Dragon" is the first dragon story I've written. So many

wonderful tales about dragons have been written, I admit it was a little

daunting. I wanted to do something a bit different. I really wanted to

feature a friendly dragon. I also thought that some humor would work

well. Ultimately, I ended up writing a story about an unlikely friendship

between a dragon raised by humans and a rather bumbling mage. And if you have mages and

dragons an evil overlord just seems to fit.









Title: Vision Quest

by: C. L. Rossman

Artwork by: +There was no artwork in the inaugural issue.

Issue: Spring ‘08

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Fantasy Story – 2500 to 6999 Words



C. L. Rossman’s Vision Quest was one of the first stories accepted by our publication. What

sold me on the story was the detail she put into each characters actions, and her skill at creating

a new language, full of varied dialects. Unfortunately, our inaugural issue only had a few

pieces of artwork, supplied by myself, in my rush to publication (Sharon Black wasn’t on board

yet), but this great story did well, standing on its own.



I hope those of you who enjoyed Vision Quest, have had a chance to read Rite of Challenge

also, as C. L. is the only Writer to have two works appear within our pages thus far.







16

Title: Tale of Sally, Queen of Burger World

by: Matthew Sideman

Artwork by: Krista Gonsalves

Issue: Fall ‘08

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Work of Fiction, Winner Best

Fantasy Story 7000 to 15,000 Words



According to Matthew, Tale of Sally, Queen of Burger World’s creation

grew out of being a lonely child who watched “Wayyyyyy too much

television.” The nice world portrayed in McDonaldland and even the

world of the Care Bears just wasn’t enough for Matthew; as he knew that

underneath there were more insidious goings on, such as child abuse and neglect. Someone had

to tell that story, and for Matthew, “Sally, the little redhead burger girl” was the perfect

underdog to help him do it.

We loved this story because it made us look at the everyday, in a whole new way and we hope

Matthew Sideman will continue to make us cautious, and wide-eyed for the bad side of things.









Title: Karen Addy’s Cat Flap

by: Mark Rigney

Artwork by: Dustin Cox

Issue: Spring ‘09

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Fantasy Story 7000 to 15,000

Words



As many of you know, I’ve stressed how important story titles are to me,

as a reader, and honestly as an editor. Quite often, a submission with an

interesting title will get bumped to the top of the list. Karen Addy’s Cat

Flap was just such a story, and luckily, its content stood up to its name, as far as interest. Mark

Rigney is one of the most creative Writers I have come across in our first year of publication,

and I hope this story isn’t his last work to grace our pages.







17

Title: Mr. Masonic

by: Sean Farley

Artwork by: Amber Chaffee

Issue: Winter ‘09

Award(s): Best Science Fiction Story – 2500 to 6999 Words



I have always loved time travel stories like “12 Monkeys,” “Back to the

Future,” “Quantum Leap” and “The Terminator,” all dealt with traveling

into the recent past and its paradoxical repercussions on the present. I

would much rather read a story that explores characters and ideals than

one obsessed with pseudo science, gimmicks or hardware. I like the science in science fiction to

be at the service of the character and the story …not the other way around. So I set out to tell a

science fiction story that readers wouldn’t realize was science fiction until they got to the last

page or so. My personal mantra for writing this story was simple: never use the words ‘time

travel.’

The ending came first. I had the idea of an amnesiac who was able to solve a kidnapping

because of the images in his head—images he didn’t quite understand but seemed to lead

somewhere. My favorite twist endings are the diabolically simple ones; the ones that make you

slap yourself in the forehead and say “of course! The clues were all there!” “Mr. Masonic” is

that kind of story.









Title: Drum Trial

by: Jeff Somers

Artwork by: Junior Mclean

Issue: Fall ‘08

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Science Fiction Story – 2500

to 6999 Words



About Drum Trial, Jeff Somers says, "I read "The Sparrow" by Mary

Doria Russell a few years ago, a novel that I found delightfully disturbing and interesting, albeit

a little flawed, and it inspired the central idea of "Drum Trial" pretty obviously. But where I

thought "The Sparrow" meandered into the philosophical, I thought, no, damn it--the human

race I know would want to kick some ass. Think War on Terror. How would that go? And the

more I thought about it, the seedier and less heroic the story became, because we would want

bloody revenge, and we would want it recorded.”

18

Title: A Test of Fate

by: Mark Lee Pearson

Artwork by: Marlo Dianne

Issue: Fall ‘08

Award(s): Best Science Fiction Story – 7000 to 15,000 Words



Mark Lee Pearson drew the ideas for A Test of Fate from a number of

sources. “I live and work in Japan, and I have studied Japanese Language,

History, and Culture at Graduate level. I had wanted to write a story based

on that for some time. Then in February 2007 there was a call for

submissions to an anthology called Machine of Death. The premise was

this: What if by taking a blood test you could find out how you were going to die? The question

grabbed me. I immediately began making notes, and speculating on how such a test would

change the Japanese people, institutions, culture, politics, the laws, society and indeed Japan

itself. The story took three months to research and write. Many of the issues explored in the

story are taken from actual events. I sent the story off for consideration, but it was rejected in

the final round because it didn't fit with the overall tone of the anthology. I filed the story away

and forgot about it. I worked on other things and made a few sales. Then about a year later I

received a PDF copy of Strange, Weird, and Wonderful. I was impressed with the content and

went ferreting around my hard drive for something that would fit the editor's requirements.

There was A Test of Fate! I spent a week polishing it up, cut about 1,000 words, and sent it in.

The rest is history.”









Title: Eating Bugs

by: Mary Patterson Thornburg

Artwork by: Marlo Dianne

Issue: Fall ‘08

Award(s): Best Science Fiction Story – 7000 to 15,000 Words



After reading this light-hearted science fiction tale, from Mary Patterson

Thornburg, I immediately fell in love with it and sent her a contract right

away before some other editor had a chance to sweep up this story,

because I knew we had a winner on our hands.



19

Artwork by: Amber Chaffee

Story: Mr. Masonic by Sean Farley

Issue: Winter ‘09

Award(s): Best Artwork Non-Graphic Arts



Amber Chaffee was a 19 years old college student when she

created this image for Sean Farley’s great story. According to

Amber, “I really wanted to draw a scene that stood out. I

chose to draw the scene where Mr. Masonic was staring in

the window at himself. The story described him extremely

well.”Keep an eye on her in the future.









Artwork by: Krista Gonsalvas

Story: of Sally, Queen of Burger World by Matthew

Sideman

Issue: Winter ‘09

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Artwork Non-

Graphic Arts



Krista Gonsalvas was a young, expectant mother at the time

she created this image. Her husband was off serving in Iraq,

and she was staying with your in-laws, waiting for him to

come home in time for her to have the baby. All turned out

well in the end for her, and I hope she hasn’t given up her

dream of an art career, despite the stresses of motherhood.

The collage she created for Matthew Sideman’s haunting

fantasy story was perfect and I hope we see more of her

work next year.





20

Artwork by: Dustin Cox

Story: Mark Rigney

Issue: Spring ‘09

Award(s): Best Artwork Graphic Arts



Dustin Cox has completed several pieces for our publication.

Obviously, our readers felt this Spring ’09 cover image,

inspired by Mark Rigney’s wonderful tale of another world,

just within the cat flap of our own reality. Dustin did a great

job bring Mark’s monster from the other side, to life.









Artwork by: Steve Lilly

Story: Those Who Do Not Mourn by Drew Arrants

Issue: Winter ‘09

Award(s): 1st Runner Up for Best Artwork Graphic

Arts



Another regular art contributor to Strange, Weird, and

Wonderful Magazine, Steve Lilly created this image based

on Drew Arrants beautiful vision of a family in the South

Pacific with a particular aging issue. The story was very

descriptive and I’m sure that’s what helped Steve create such

a great image.







21

22

Devil’s Hide like two meaty pendulums shell of his wife, distending

by Sharon M. White and her once white canvas and stinking it up. He would

shoes puffing up whorls of never say any of that to





O

n Halloween fine dirt behind her. If the Sheila's face, though, hell no,

morning, Tommy devil does appear, I bet he because she might try to kill

Lansdale climbed looks a lot like that. Tommy him. And she might succeed.

out of bed, dressed and rushed almost laughed at that Tommy had other plans

out the door before his wife thought--almost, but not for Sheila. Other plans,

awoke. Tommy didn't make quite. indeed. All he had to do was

great money working at the "You little maggot. Where find that one special piece of

slaughterhouse and the hell did you go?" She bent dried meat. Looking down at

moonlighting as a midnight over to look in the passenger's the overflowing paper bags,

paperboy and he knew Sheila window and her chest he thought that would be a

would raise immortal hell if threatened to spill out of her long chore.

she caught him heading off to scoop-neck top. "Beef jerky Propping the screen door

buy a couple hundred dollars again? Are you mental?" She open, Tommy made three

worth of beef jerky. waved a dismissive hand over trips to carry in all the big

Nevertheless, he had to have the top of the car at him. "No, brown bags, placing each one

it. Sheila just didn't don't answer that, of course carefully on the kitchen table.

understand that, never would you are. All I'm going to say Six bags, all counted. Sheila

unless he could find the bag is that this carload of jerky only rolled her eyes at him.

with that one special piece of ain't going to pay the bills and Those brown, tiny, contempt-

jerky. it won't feed your sorry ass filled eyes.

With the jerky cleared for long." With an air of "You know we'll be eating

from all five stores in Edwin, royalty, she turned, shaking that shit all week, don't you?

Tommy, satisfied that he'd her head, and walked back I'm sure you used up our

done the right thing, headed toward the house. grocery money on it." She

home in his beat-to-shit Ford Tommy watched her for a made her eyes big as she

Escort, which was rank with minute and stifled another scanned the bags.

the smell of jerky in the giggle. Her ass looks like two Tommy shook his head

simmering heat. As he knew pigs fighting under a blanket. but couldn't hold her gaze and

she would be, Sheila was Since she'd gained weight, he looked at the floor. "No we

waiting on the porch when he hated everything about her. won't. I have to eat that today,

pulled in the driveway. "Shit Not only did she look like before midnight tonight.

on a shingle, here we go different but she also felt and We still got grocery money, I

again," he said to no one, smelled and talked different-- saved this all year and there's

especially not Sheila, never to she was no longer the sweet, some of it left over, too." He

Sheila. wild, sexy, adoring Sheila he pulled a crumpled twenty and

Stomping off the porch had married eight years some ones out of his pocket

and through the packed-dirt of earlier. If he tried hard as proof.

their front yard, Sheila made enough, he could almost The haw-haw-haw of her

her way to the car, arms believe that she was some hateful laugh shook the flab

swinging in exaggerated arcs mutant life form living in the around her midsection and

23

made her extra chins jiggle. she continued upstairs, cheek on his face, the one on

"You couldn't eat all that in a presumably to take her mid- his ass. Tommy's Daddy

week, let alone a single day. morning nap. always liked that part best and

My thigh is bigger than your Last year, she had asked he always corrected it if

whole body, you bone bag." what his intentions were if the someone told it wrong. He'd

The contempt dripped off the devil actually did show up. say, 'Old Furmas bit the devil

last two words and Tommy Was he going to invite Old on the ass and now he's

wanted say, 'Thank God for Scratch in for dinner? He had immortal. 'Course if you can

small favors,' but didn't dare. told her that he planned to bite the devil's ass 'n' live

Scratching the back of his bargain with the devil. If the through it, you're probably

head, Tommy said, "I have to devil would make him rich, already immortal.' Then he'd

and you know it, just like all Tommy would give back the cackle, slap his knee, and

the other years." piece of missing hide and shake his head. Tommy

A mean look hardened the everybody would be happy. missed his dad. And his

edges of her face a few Including Sheila. brother.

degrees, which wasn't much He wouldn't tell her the Legend held that every

through all the extra padding truth. If the devil did show up year, the still-living Furmas,

there but it was enough that this year, Tommy was going placed that piece of devil's

Tommy knew she was getting to offer up his sassy, fat wife hide into a special bag of

ready to let it fly. as a blood sacrifice in return jerky in one of the local stores

"You still believe that for riches and immortality. He to hide it from its owner who

story? How stupid can one might even ask for a good came looking every

person be, Tommy?" She woman. Then the devil could Halloween. Whoever found it

swatted one of the grocery have his piece of hide back. could make him a slave, if he

bags, spilling beef jerky onto Tommy's older brother Bo or she were brave and strong

the cracked green linoleum. had told him about old man enough. Not to mention that

"Grow the hell up." For good Furmas calling up the devil in as long as the person kept the

measure, she toppled a whole physical form on Halloween chunk of hide, he or she

bag onto the floor as she night back in the 1800s. Old would be immortal. Of

exited the room, sending its man Furmas was a grand course, that meant that Old

contents skittering all across wizard of some order or other Man Furmas would wither up

the kitchen. and he supposedly created a and die, but Tommy figured

When she was far enough ritual that could trap the devil that it was about time that old

away, Tommy bent to the task and bend the bastard to his geezer gave up the ghost and

of picking up the pieces, and will. As soon as the devil saw moved on, let someone

whispered, "Bitch." what was happening, he took younger and fitter have his

From the stairs, she yelled, off running. That's when chance with the skin. If the

"I might be a bitch but you're Furmas ended up with that devil wouldn't grant

still stupid--believing all that special piece of tough hide. immortality, Tommy would

crap about the devil's skin He tackled the devil and just keep the skin like the old man

being in a bag of jerky on before he slipped free, had done all these years.

Halloween." Her footfalls Furmas bit into his cheek and Didn't need special magic wit

echoed through the house as tore away the skin. Not the to do that.

24

Bo disappeared eight years to ache. He wanted to stop but half expecting to see her

ago after an all-night vigil at there were only a few pieces sitting on the bed in a pile of

the graveyard where he sat left in his bag. He had cheated used jerky wrappers, chewing

alone gnawing on a piece of a bit by chewing on some of and making snore sounds so

jerky that he thought was the the pieces and, after deciding he'd think she was asleep.

piece. His dad died not long each was not the one that That wasn't the case, though.

afterward. Heart attack. Then would call up the devil, spat Sheila was really asleep and

Tommy and Sheila were them into the small trashcan not a single piece of jerky was

married and moved into the by the sofa. in sight.

family farmhouse. Speaking aloud to himself Puzzled, he lifted the end

"Yeah, now look at us. again, he said, "Trooper up, of the quilt and peeked under

She's a bitch and I'm Tommy-boy. Only a few to the bed. Nothing there, either.

miserable. I hope Bo didn't go." That's what Daddy used He hitched his pants up and

find that piece of hide." to say when Tommy didn't walked back out of the room,

Realizing he was talking to want to finish his peas or pulling the door carefully

himself, Tommy pursed his green beans at supper. behind him.

lips together, hoping Sheila The soda was gone and Sure that someone had

hadn't heard. Tommy went to get another. sneaked in, he eased

Taking a paper bag, In the kitchen, he saw that downstairs again and crept

Tommy wandered slowly to even more of the jerky was into the kitchen, ears and eyes

the living room and turned on missing from the bags on the keen for anything out of the

the television. Nothing better table. Sheila, that bitch, she's ordinary. An entire bag was

to do while he chewed. After eating it or hiding it. He gone from the table. Tommy's

watching three Halloween started up the stairs, drink jaw dropped and he put his

Special Munster reruns, he forgotten, determined to stand fist in his mouth to block the

went to the kitchen to get a up to her this time, she moan that threatened.

drink from the fridge and couldn't keep bullying him Grabbing a butcher's knife

noticed that some of the forever. A real man would put from the drainer, he tiptoed

pieces of jerky had been a stop to it and that's what he around the house again,

skimmed from the top of each intended to do. He just didn't checking all windows and

bag. know how he was going to do doors for signs of forced

He made a quick round of it. entry. He found nothing out

the ground floor, locking Stopping outside the of place until he stopped at

windows and doors and bedroom door, Tommy heard the final door. A small door at

checking in the bathroom and Sheila snoring. Not the soft, the side of the laundry room

pantry to make sure no one purring snore from back when that led outside. He had

else was in the house. He they were first married. This locked it earlier while making

returned, soda in hand, and guttural, piggish noise was so his first round of the house.

started watching the loud it woke Tommy up at Now it was ajar and a couple

Halloween specials again night and sent him to sleep on of flies lazily buzzed and

while he ate. After a few the couch downstairs at least droned in and out of it,

hours, he was sick of the taste three times a week. Gently, he looking for a place to light.

and his jaws were beginning pushed the door open a crack,

25

Tommy's adrenaline wasn't someone, it was a first into the dirt. No sound,

rushed, making him feel very scarecrow. The longer he no movement. And his bag

strong and very dizzy. Sweat looked at it, the more he was full of empty wrappers.

popped out onto his forehead thought it was his scarecrow Only three wrapped pieces of

and upper lip as he neared the from the south field of corn. meat lay on the porch near

door. The two flies sounded Another wrapper skidded by where the scarecrows right

louder with each step. Finally, him from the direction of the hand was before it hit the dirt.

he had one hand on the door porch. Tommy picked them up and

and the knife raised high with Someone moved my pocketed them, scowling

the other. In one motion, he scarecrow, stole my jerky and around his property but seeing

slammed the door back into now they're sitting up there in no one.

the wall and jumped out onto front of my porch eating it. "Guess I got to take you

the small concrete stoop, Someone's trying to steal my back to your pole Mr. Scare-

screaming, ready to stab piece of devil's hide! Them-Crows." Tommy

whatever intruder might be Fury moved him along in jumped off the edge of the

lurking there with his bag of great long strides to the front porch and landed next to the

jerky. No one was there and of the porch. No movie-hero- stuffed dummy's left leg. He

he was left looking like an theatrics this time, just plain seized it by the suspenders

idiot with a snarl on his face, old pissed-off-and-ready-to- and started dragging it off

knife above his head, feet kick-someone's-ass rage. He down the road to the south

wide and knees bent. rounded the corner and field of corn. He chewed on a

Quickly, he stood straight immediately spotted the bag. piece of the salvaged jerky as

and looked up to the window It sat on the porch behind the he went.

of Sheila's room. He hoped scarecrow. Someone had "Someone just playing a

she hadn't seen the foolish propped the scarecrow up trick on me. Probably some

display. As he armed sweat with the bag and had eaten kids from town starting early

from his brow, a gust of wind almost all of it from the looks. on their trick-or-treat

came through, pulling up the The wind blew again as mischief." He shook the

loose dirt and autumn debris, Tommy climbed the steps dummy and said, "Ain't that

twisting it toward him. In the farther down toward the front right? You gain weight? I

center of the little dust devil of the house and the think all that jerky's making

was a beef jerky wrapper. He scarecrow twitched and you fat, Mr. Crow." He

stepped into the twister and sagged backward a little. laughed when there was no

snatched the wrapper as soon Tommy's feet made little answer.

as it hit the ground. One sniff squeak!-squeak! noises on the He put another piece of

told him it was fresh. painted boards as he halted. jerky in his mouth as he

He looked up in the His heart lurched. Thinking entered the field and wrestled

direction from which the someone might be in the the scarecrow back up on its

miniature twister had come scarecrow, he gathered his pole. He used coat hanger

and squawked in surprise. At nerve and ran at it. He shoved wire to secure the thing to the

first, he thought someone was the scarecrow off the edge of cross but someone had cut it

sitting on his front porch, legs the porch and watched it so he put the suspenders over

dangling over the edge. It splay spread-eagled and face- the center pole and let the

26

dummy's arms dangle at its scanned the room, rolling in Only one bag of jerky

sides, making a mental note their sockets like those of a remained on the table and it

not to forget to fix the thing in terrified or angry animal. was severely decimated. Real

the morning before it rained. "Are you mental?" She fear started to gnaw at his

By the time he reached his held up her hands in a see? upset gut and claw into a dark

porch, Tommy had finished gesture. Bubble chains recess of his mind. Casting

all three pieces of jerky from connected her meaty wrists to furtive glances about, he

his pocket. He stopped long the bubble blanket in the tub. walked to the table and

enough to gather most of the He didn't know how she reached out a timid hand to

torn wrappers, stuff them in could stand that mess. "Well, touch the tabletop, to make

the bag, and haul it around to somebody took two of the sure it was really devoid of

the outside trash bin. Then he bags from the kitchen. And four bags that he hadn't

went in, locked the door, got moved Scarecrow from the touched since carrying inside.

another soda, flopped on the south cornfield to the porch. I He felt like he was dreaming,

sofa and continued to eat and put him back though." He the world seemed to warp at

watch television. backed out of the bathroom the edges when his fingertips

Twenty minutes later, he before Sheila could come up brushed the cold, smooth,

heard the distinct crinkling of with any sort of retort--her glassy Formica. The bags

plastic wrappers in the hearty laughter was insult really were gone.

kitchen. He went to check it enough. With the door safely He pulled out a chair, sat

out and another bag of jerky shut, he searched the bedroom heavily in it and pulled the

was gone. This time he ran to and found not a single piece remaining bag close in a

the small door. Shut and of jerky. protective hug. With some of

locked. All the windows and Tommy walked his strength regained, he

doors downstairs were shut downstairs slowly, beginning stood up with the bag still

and locked. He ran up the to feel the first pangs of clutched to his chest, and

stairs, to Sheila's room, flung indigestion along with some pushed the chair under the

the door wide and yelled her trepidation. Who was stealing table. The worn green lino

name. She wasn't in the bed. the jerky? How were they there showed smudged

Her three-hour nap was getting inside? Was this footprints. Large ones.

officially over and she was in person harmless? He didn't Whatever had left the prints

the bathroom. like not having the answers had worn no shoes and had

"What the hell you want? and he liked even less that deformed feet with no toes,

I'm in the tub, asshole." The Sheila only laughed her only a crescent where they

bathroom door was shut. mocking laugh as if she knew should have been.

Tommy stomped through the something he didn't. Maybe Icy sparks of fear bolted

room and jerked it open. she put somebody up to this to from the center of his chest,

There was Sheila just as she'd torment me. Mulling this down his arms, and pained the

said, soaking in a tub of over, he walked into the ends of his fingers. He had to

bubbles. Pink ones at that. kitchen, intent on grabbing find this person, maybe not to

"Were you just another soda and continuing confront him or her, but at

downstairs? Did you get a bag his search for the devil's hide. least to make sure said thief

of my jerky?" His eyes

27

wasn't inside the house any He paced over to the sink, scarecrows turned and eyed

longer. considered opening the him with those featureless

While he stood there, cabinet but didn't. Smiling, faces.

looking at the footprints, he still clutching his brown bag From the Halloween

realized they led straight of jerky, he walked out the pumpkin nearest the steps,

toward the cabinet under the front door. His hopes were and therefore nearest Tommy,

kitchen sink and ended. He high. He felt like dancing a a grating voice said, "What's

retraced them and saw that little jig on the welcome mat going on?" This was followed

they started near that but settled for peeping by grunting and the shell of

damnable laundry room door. through the glass to the stairs, the pumpkin pulsed. "Could

Inspection of the door hoping that he'd get to see the one of you assholes turn me

revealed that the culprit had Big Mean tromping down around?"

indeed picked the lock again. them and on her way to her The other pumpkins

The door wasn't ajar this time, demise. After a few moments, voiced the same request and

though. Whoever it was, he or he gave up and turned to go to Tommy's knees unhinged,

she had been smart enough to the rocker. spilling him onto the porch by

close it but not smart enough A scarecrow reclined in the bag he'd dropped. The

to wipe those malformed feet the rocker. Two more scarecrow kneeling in the dirt

on the rag rug. Just looking at scarecrows sat on the short jittered and shimmied, finally

the toeless prints gave him the end of the porch, backs to getting into a semi-standing

shivers. Tommy, and another sat on its position and lurched toward

Tommy thought about knees in the dirt near the the pumpkins. It turned each

yelling for Sheila to come steps. Jack-O-Lanterns lined pumpkin so that they all faced

help him check the house, and the long edge of the porch. Tommy. The snarling,

then decided she would Each scarecrow and each vicious, and even the smiling,

eternally damn him for a carved pumpkin sat near a happy faces stared at him.

coward and he'd never hear pile of Tommy's beef jerky. A scream started down in

the end of it. If she happened He yelled, "What the fu--" his gut and gained force and

to come downstairs, well, that and the scarecrow in his volume as it ascended to his

was a different story. He rocker turned its head and throat. Just before it turned

would have to check under looked full at him. The big, into a full-fledged scream, the

the sink on his own. ot if I black, X-stitched eyes and a scarecrow in the rocker

just walk out, I won't. I could wide-open maw froze leaned forward and spoke.

go sit on the porch, in the Tommy's brain. It's a "What the hell's all the

rocker, and finish what's left costume, a costume, see the fuss about, Tommy-boy?

of this jerky and act like I shape of the knee joints? No We're here to help you find

didn't know a damn thing. use, there were no real feet at that special piece of meat,

Then if the devil don't show the ends of the legs, only the man." The open gash that

up, maybe I'll still be getting ends of pant legs tied shut to served as a mouth moved up

rid of that bitch, maybe hold in the straw. and down and the cheeks

whoever's in there will kill The bag slid from puffed in and out, spilling bits

her while I'm outside. Tommy's arms and thumped of gnawed jerky, straw and a

to the floorboards. The other few stray bugs that had nested

28

there. A protuberance above meat, Tommy asked, "Can I of curse words and much

the X eyes drew down in go get a drink? Please?" rattling came this time.

imitation of wrinkling The scarecrow nodded. The scarecrow did a

eyebrows. It raised a hand in Tommy found it hard to lopsided lurch to get up and

front of its face, made a stand, the world tipped and then reached for Tommy who

shushing sound and flopped yawed dangerously as he rose sidestepped and actually

back into the seat. from his kneeling position but jumped up and down like a

Slack-mouthed and silent, he held the doorknob and little kid.

Tommy watched as the moved slowly into the house. "I got it! I got it! Woo-

scarecrows set to eating the He didn't bother shutting the hoo!" He held the devil's hide

jerky and feeding it to the door. What use would that be between his cheek and teeth

Jack-O-Lanterns. He cleared this late in the game? like a wad of chewing

his throat, found his voice and At the sink, he pulled a tobacco and continued to

asked, "Who are you and glass from the drainer and shout and jump. Until the

what are you doing here?" filled it with cold water, drank cabinet door burst open and

Mr. Rocking Chair about half, and belched. Bile the devil stepped into the

laughed. It was a low, mean rose and he vomited into the kitchen. That put a significant

sound. "I told you, we're here sink. Partially digested jerky damper on his cheery mood.

to help you find that piece of splattered on the counter and A tall, skinny thing stood

devil's hide. So shut up and he retched harder. He turned by the sink, one hand on its

get to work." to the table and there sat Mr. rear, the other pointing at

"Are you real?" Tommy's Rocking Chair, big as Ike, Tommy. By no means did that

voice had turned to a whisper with Tommy's bag of beef. thing fit the image Tommy

and his mouth felt like most "Now you got an empty had of the devil. The head

of the Sahara had been stomach, you should be ready was almost human except for

packed into it. for this." It shoved the bag the hairless snout and the two

"As real as it gets." The clumsily across the table. short horns above each ear.

thing raised a hand, motioned Without speaking, Tommy The skin was gray and looked

toward the bag Tommy had reached in, took a piece, as thick as an elephant's hide

dropped, and said, "Set to tossed the wrapper to the but was mottled all over with

before I have to kill you, floor and crammed the tough large brown spots. The feet

now." meat into his mouth. With the were hoofed where the toes

Tommy didn't need to be first chomp on the meat, a should have been and the too-

warned more than once. He muffled scream came from long legs looked wobbly

immediately grabbed a piece the cabinet under the sink. instead of strong, as did the

of jerky, unwrapped it, and Tommy jumped and inhaled arms. Stick thin and uglier

began chewing even though so sharply that he nearly than sin, the devil spoke. A

he feared he might choke swallowed the jerky. His eyes less than human, high-pitched

when the time came to felt like they would pop out of shriek pierced the air and

swallow unless he had a their sockets and roll on his Tommy's eardrums. "Spit it

drink. cheeks. He bit down again, out."

Talking around the hard. Another scream, a string Instinctively, Tommy

mouthful of half-chewed locked his jaws and shook his

29

head. The scarecrow grabbed the risers and everything was out a meaty hand that was

him, pushed and pinned silent save the putter of rippling, changing before his

Tommy against the cabinet. Tommy's heart and Sheila's eyes into a blob with no

The devil took a single step footsteps. detectable human

and said, "Spit it out, now," The scarecrow righted his characteristics remaining.

and held his gnarled hand out lumpy body and stepped He shook his head again

expectantly. The gnarled, forward a bit, bowed low and and bit a little harder on the

spindly fingers curled upward said, "Mama, how have you meat.

and looked arthritic. survived this place all these The devil did a dervish

Tommy looked from him years?" dance. "I swear, boy, I will

to the scarecrow, wondering Without realizing it, save the worst corner of

where the Big Mean was. Any Tommy clenched his jaws, eternity for you if you do not

other time she would have bringing another spate of relinquish that piece of me

been screaming about the shrieks and curses from the this instant."

noise and commotion. devil whose eyes were "Seems I got me some

Grabbing Tommy's face in beginning to burn red like bargaining power here. I ain't

one hand, Old Scratch coals in a hearth. A sense of giving it up that easy. I got

squeezed until Tommy power engulfed Tommy and strong jaws. Years of practice.

wanted to scream. Instead, he he grinned. The grin felt I can chomp all night if I have

maneuvered the piece of meat good. The serpentine surge of to, then what happens? I

until it slid between his power spiraled up his spine reckon you ain't got any

molars and bit down as hard from tailbone to the crown of magic powers in that physical

as he could. The weathered his head and his skin tingled body and as long I can bite

hand dropped from his face as he stood erect and clapped down on this piece of your

and the devil backed up, his hands together. ass, you can't lay hold of me

pulling the scarecrow along. Sheila turned her wicked for the pain. If Mr. Scaredy-

gaze upon Tommy. "What's Crow could do something, he

Tommy spoke between your problem, beanpole? would have already." Tommy

gritted teeth. "If you do that Something you don't waited to see if any of them

again, I swear I'll swallow it." understand here?" would respond with any sort

Laughter from the Tommy shook his head in of definitive answer and when

scarecrows outside, the negation. Through tightly none came, he said, "When

pumpkins and the devil gritted teeth, he mumbled, midnight passes, so will all of

suggested to Tommy that "Nope. I think I've known for you. Kind of like a Mexican

such an action might be bad a long time that you were stand-off and if there's one

for him. either the devil in person or thing I've learned during the

"Swallow it and I'll just one of his concubines." eight years with that thing,"

gut you like a fish to get it." Sheila laughed and the he rolled his eyes toward the

From the top of the stairs, sound changed to a deep Sheila-thing that was still

"Yeah, dumbass, swallow it." guttural piggish sound. "You transforming, "it's how to

The Big Mean had finally put just spit that out like a good cope with stress and mean-

in her appearance. She little boy and we'll let you mouthed people threatening

walked nonchalantly down live, Tommy-boy." She held me all the time."

30

The scarecrow plopped his feet uselessly against the Feeling unconsciousness

onto the lino, back sagging slickening floor. The rubber creeping up on him, Tommy

against the fridge, head of his tennis shoes bubbled bit down and turned away

lolling to its chest and a and melted, mixing with the from the fiery thing that used

whirling, light gray mist smoking blubber. The devil to be his wife. The devil

roiled up from the stuffing pushed him down farther, still screamed and tore at the

and was gone through the prying at his mouth. cabinets, flinging canisters

ceiling with a slight hissing Finally, Tommy managed and utensils into disarray all

sound. The devil only stared, to clamp his teeth together. over the kitchen.

eyes burning redder, at the The devil wailed and jerked With a forced, sluggish

spot where the scarecrow sat backward, taking the handful calmness, Tommy demanded,

lifeless. of hair and a good size piece "Fix me or you'll never get

Sheila's transformation of scalp with him. As his your hide back."

began to stink as her fat skinned skull slammed into A banshee wail lit up the

smoldered as if she were the cabinet, Tommy moaned air and without a flinch,

about to burst into flames. and his body went limp. His Tommy turned to the new

Her hair matted down and eyes jigged in their sockets Sheila. "You shut the hell up.

melted to her skin. The big and he saw the devil coming One of you better fix my

sturdy, if fat, body began to at him again but his body bloody head or I'll chew this

collapse into itself. Soon, she would not return its loyalty piece of hide into useless

was a smelly blob of blubber and he was helpless to do mush and let my digestive

on the floor with eyes floating more than tighten his mouth system do the rest." He turned

around in the skin that once shut. to the devil. "And you, you

covered her face in Claws pried and tore at his bastard, will be stuck here

abundance. lip and acid burned through forever in that miserable

Tommy's attention was his shoe, touched his sensitive body, powerless." He pulled a

fully on this scene when the heel and sent a jolt of energy chair from the table and sat

devil snatched a handful of through him. That was heavily between the column

his hair and yanked his head enough to snap him out of his of flames and the devil. And

back with strength belying his fugue and get him moving. began to chew.

withered appearance. Tommy He fought back with the devil "Stop it, damn you, stop it,

screamed and his bottom jaw and succeeded only in losing stop it." The devil screamed

unclenched. Quick as a part of his lower lip. His face at Sheila, "You fix him, make

scorpion-strike, the devil's felt as battered as the back of him stop, do it, you bitch."

other hand was prying into his head where he could feel Tommy continued his

Tommy's mouth. Teeth the warm blood gushing down slow munching and waited.

creaked against the immense his neck, wetting his shirt. The flames died down and

pressure and Tommy, blinded The blob in the floor burst a very tall, very thin, very

by the sudden pain, lost his into brilliant crimson and well endowed succubus stood

balance and fell heavily on purple flames that shot to the in the place of Sheila's mess.

the floor. The Sheila mess ceiling in a willowy column, Her only articles of clothing

oozed toward him as if it had stunning the devil and were the twin phantom snakes

intelligence and he scrambled Tommy into motionless awe. that constantly slithered up

31

and down and around her An ethereal snake coiled She hit him dead center of

nude body, which looked like around her arm and slid his chest and passed straight

a flesh-and-blood body to toward Tommy's forehead, through, leaving her snakes to

Tommy. Eyeing her master opened its mouth and hissed. do their worst. As the clock

and then Tommy, she strode A mist that burned like fire struck midnight, Tommy said,

toward the chair. Bits and engulfed Tommy's wounds "Stop the biting, it'll do you

pieces of the fleshy blob from instantly cauterizing them. no good." The snakes stopped

which she was birthed clung The snake and its mistress attacking and began their

to her heels, slapping backed away. loving, coiling circuit of his

sickeningly on the floor as The devil took her place, body as they had with the

she progressed. panic on his horrid face. demoness and he stroked each

Still, Tommy chewed, "Give it." one as they passed around his

slow, meticulous and Tommy grinned and spat chest.

unrelenting. the mauled wad of skin into The devil, a look of

The devil howled, "She the devil's palm. confusion on his face, turned

has power here. Stop or I'll let The devil called the around in a circle several

you bleed out on your own demoness to him and handed times as if trying to see his

floor." her the skin, turning his back own ass and failing. When he

With a missing chunk of to her, he commanded, "Put it understood, he screamed and

his lower lip, Tommy could back," and bent over, offering took his turn at revenge. The

feel the saliva mixed with the up his skinned cheek for snakes reared up over

slush of the eroding hide repair. Tommy's shoulders in

slithering over his chipped Try as she might, the skin protective poses and the devil

and broken bottom teeth to would not fit perfectly. Some stopped short, pointing at the

bathe his stinging chin in a of the edges were gone but demoness. "You failed me."

foamy mixture. He shook his she pasted it back on the spot Tommy laughed and she

head and said, "Fix me or this as best as she could and the flung herself at him. He

will be gone before I die." snake performed the same watched as her own snakes

The demoness reached out feat as it had with Tommy's devoured her. One devoured

and laid one finger on wounds, welding the hide her physical-looking shell

Tommy's forehead, looked to back into place. while the other opened its

her master again and said, "I The clock said it was one maw wide and sucked in her

could kill him right here." minute before midnight. ethereal body. Tommy turned

"There's only a bit of this Tommy stood up on wobbly his head to kiss each in turn

left and the sun has been set legs and started for the front before looking back at the

for a long time. You better door. He heard the devil's devil. "You still here?"

check your clocks again." The command to his whore, "Kill Alone and stuck in

clock on the wall said it was him." Tommy stopped, physical form, powerless to

only a mere three minutes swallowed hard and turned to do more harm and powerless

until midnight. face the shrieking demon to return to his pit, the devil

"Fix him before he fucks heading straight for him. He looked defeated, angry and

up everything." opened wide his arms and deadly. "How did you do this,

laughed maniacally. wizard?"

32

Tommy said, "Your hide -The End

turned to mush and entered Sharon M. White lives in

my blood stream and is even the small rural town of

Blood is red,

now making its home in my Erwin, Tennessee with The Sky is Dark

marrow, in my organs, in my

skin and hair. I am immortal

her husband and children. Blue

Several of her short by Haley Sanders-

now and you are confined to horror stories and dark Turner

this world. Your own form of poems have been

hell, I'd guess." He stepped published in various media Mirror

toward the old demon master including online & print Mirror

and smiled a hideous smile. magazines and several Hiding the glare

"With my new loves," he anthologies. She is Mirror

Mirror

stroked the snakes lovingly currently working on her

Teeth are glimmering

and let an expression of second novel of

Thoughts shimmering

ecstasy pass over his face as supernatural horror. Visit Blood-red ecstasy

they winnowed around his http://sharonwhite.embar Thoughts that have

body, "I can walk between the qspace.com/, the author's captured me

worlds and never have to website for more news pain in my neck

make a bargain. I think your and updates. Drawn in by the

little corner of eternity will be pleasure

in need of a new ruler. What Beauty beyond measure

You Lay Next To Me As they seek out the

do you say, Old Man?"

night

Tommy walked toward the You Lay Next To Me As I cry on the veranda

door and the devil stepped in Sleeping Peacefully Try as I might

front of him, holding up Your Breath, Thick With No tears to wet my

hands in a pleading gesture. Peace night

"Please, I'll give you anything Blood reddens my light

you want and more just undo If Only When Awake Darkness hides my

whatever you've done to me, This Peace You’d Take night

I Would Love You, Yes This is mine

boy."

This is mine

The devil shrank away as Indeed

This endless fight

Tommy reached out to pat My endless night

him on one skinny shoulder. But the You, That’s You

"Not a chance." He walked When You’re Aware

into the darkness and began With Eyes Open To

Glare

stripping off his clothes, Halloween

preparing for his first trip into

the other world, or worlds that Are Haunting, Daunting

Grossly Flaunting Pagan Pumpkins Plastic

awaited him in the beyond. Bags Sweet Oral Eats

It Pisses Me Off You

See Witches Ghouls Ghost

Yum, Yum, Yum.

-Mike Icon

33

34

So Lonely The Stars clan. Echo-Light explored the sharp teeth. Echo-Light rolled

by Timothy W. Long patch of ground, and grew back, its segments shifting

alarmed at the tiny larvae together. Winsome neck





E cho-Light

falling.

stretched



wind rushed past its rotund

was

Feelers

and

flittered in every direction as

that were attaching to its

body. Some were eating at the

crustaceans that erupted

along its shells, this sent

shivers of pleasure through its

pulled away from the

predators descending mouth.

The flower snapped air and

cracked into the ground, teeth

taking a hearty chunk of

body. Lights screamed from segmented pathways so it vegetation instead of Echo-

every stalk, a wordless cry allowed them to remain in Light.

that was answered only by place. Stalks and fronds retracted

darkness. The motile smashed It crept along the ground in terror as lights babbled a

against a vine, cracking a until it came across a small litany of incoherent flashes.

shell which sent the creature pool of fluid. A feeler stalk The motile sped away from

careening into a patch of soft extended and sipped at the the pool as fast as its

vegetation. Feelers spun from warm liquid which seemed segments would roll. It feared

its main fronds and almost similar to the pulped other creatures and probed

caught hold as it scrabbled at vegetation excreted for the the land around it with

the slick surface. It tried to young. Taking a cautious sip greater caution. It moved

align with the massive vine Echo-Light found the nectar from location to location,

but rotating sections shook fresh and nourishing. Several constantly shifting its stalks

the creature loose sending it more pools allowed the from feeler to vision enabled

sliding downward. creature to fill long unused appendages.

Segments crunched storage chambers. The larvae it came across

together driving pain sensors A flower of dappled grey were developing a symbiotic

into over load as it smacked lay near the pool as if it had relationship whereby they

into the ground. The motile wilted and died there. The cleaned its shells, and Echo-

rolled onto one plane and set motile moved around it, Light provided a moving

feelers upon the wet studying the way the tentacles shelter. With no

vegetation. The roughly pitted lay unmoving. Echo-Light communication from the clan,

exterior of its many segments wanted to sample the flower, it had no choice but to make a

provided a distinct tactile grip to see if it was in any way home. The motile eventually

allowing it to navigate out of edible. A stalk realigned and found a large hanging seed

the soft bedding that had been shifted into a feeding tube that would offer protection for

its unwitting landing pad. which was extended to prod its future brood so it began to

With great caution, Echo- at the morsel. teach the larvae how to

Light extended vision fronds Hyper sensitivity to its hollow out a dwelling polyp.

to paint a picture of mossy plight was the only thing that When the cold season

curtains that had saved its saved the motile’s life. came, the motile went into

life. The flower’s blossom was hibernation and moved as

The motile flashed a a horrid visage. It rose into many cells as it could afford

forlorn call for help but there the air, grey petals opening to into a storage sac, then it

was no response from its tiny reveal row upon row of razor imparted its memories and

35

birthed them when the next segments then shook its immediately flooded with

mass-cycle passed. fronds to circulate life fluid information, chunks of data

The hive grew in size with back into them. The spirit of from all over the hive arrived

the passing of each quad- the hive echoed across the and bombarded its processing

cycle. They spun ladders out generations to present quad unit with new information.

of the abundant moss that and reminded the motile that Internal pathways

grew along the vines. Upon great things were happening. realigned, shuffling

reaching the higher vines, it It stayed in contemplation for information to the appropriate

wove larger nest with the some time as it considered the internal constructs. The local

intent of establishing a new founder’s poignant life. It also happenings were given a

hive. thought of the deep seeded cursory read; the planetary

It developed a clever way fear that the hive would data was studied with more

to clear the flower predators splinter or that exploration of interest. The eclipses of

from feeding stalks. the system outside their world Advent-Wise were drawing

Sharpened vine sections were might lead to a mass exodus. closer and closer together.

suspended from high above. A What if a suitable planet was Speculation was rampant that

quad of motile would located and other hives the two stars would soon

approach and antagonize the formed? With this thought merge into one, soon being a

plant. When it rose into the darkening its mind, the motile relative years as it would be

air, the vine would be rolled several segments into many mass-cycles before this

released. The sharpened alignment and trundled off its happened.

sections would swing through deprivation patch. The impending birth of the

the air, severing the predators Rising over the octal sentience was the biggest

head. Once pulped by larvae, groups of polyp dwellings, news on the message ways.

they made a satisfying meal. light from Advent-Wise cast Many felt it was a mistake to

As the expansion grew murky shadows through leafy bring it to life; they flooded

Echo-Light continued to seek vegetation. The motile the hive with thoughts that it

its original brood but never compensated by switching was going to be the end of the

found a trace. It suspected modes in order to compete hive. That once it came online

that they had left the upper with the spectrum of the and thought for itself it would

vines to look for the lost binary stars punishing quad- have no use for its creator.

motile and fallen prey to the eclipses. Eighth-Stalk- Eight-Stalk-Lacking was

flower predators. It spent Lacking’s feelers extended, amused by such, after all, the

countless mass-cycles longing making contact with the sentience would be an

for their companionship, organic surface of the polyp. extension of them. It would

aching for the bond they had Its focus now renewed, the be made of their memories

kept since birth. creature only needed to which did present a paradox.

--- restore its place in the local Since it was capable of

Eighth-Stalk-Lacking hive-mind. thinking for itself the

came out of its dream state, The motile pushed through construct would essentially be

fronds and feelers lay limp the organic fiber covering the its own hive-mind.

and colorless across its rotund entryway and extended its The solitude had left

body. It realigned several main stalk. It was Eighth-Stalk-Lacking

36

burdened with new segments Inevitably, the discussion It moved into the

so the walkway strands were turned to producing another deprivation patch once again

stretched under its girth. It offspring. Eighth-Stalk- and set to work. Tiny internal

paused and felt the rear, Lacking continued to express fronds melded and merged the

ancient most segment shiver its need to contribute more cells into one large construct.

and slide off with a clunk. pupae to the hive as it felt it Memories and lifetimes

Cleaning larvae converged on was growing near the end of flowed through its neural

the lifeless shell, anticipating its life. It was unsurprised pathways; the motile was

material to recycle into the when Many-Sacred-Holds stunned by the knowledge

community. expressed its reluctance at encapsulated. As it worked,

Eighth-Stalk- carrying pupae. It felt it was the creature came across one

Lacking reached the feeding too young and far too active memory in particular that

pools and was thrilled to find to be a good host. spoke of the sacrificial nature

them overflowing with After the discussion of its ancestors so it delved in

freshly grown nectars. A stalk reached an impasse, the three and lived another life.

extended and began to siphon leaned over and moved their ---

nourishment into its reserve precious crystals along Fraught-With-Peril

segment. The creature’s main segmented pathways until considered the organic

stalk read the light pulses that they could be extruded near construct; it was round and

illuminated the bulbous feeding stalks. thanks to Advent-Wise’s

chamber. EighthStalkLacking swept quad-cycle, the octal-organic

Mourning-Strife was them up and added them to its craft was harder than any

already perched over the pool. storage sac. material ever grown. At one

Feeler stalks emerged and Flashing lights made a time the motile had been

brushed its mate gently. chaotic dance as each tried to forced to evolve shells

Many-Sacred-Holds joined show the lives they had capable of withstanding the

the brood. Being the youngest chosen to impart upon the same rays, now they used the

of the intimate quad, it was crystal. Many deprivation technology to build world-

always eager to share the cycles had allowed each to craft capable of withstanding

latest with its mates. The spin cells into homogenous the brutal trip into space.

young motile’s dance of light three dimensional shapes that Fraught-With-Peril slid

was fast and furious as it grew to reflect the amount of inside and sent flashes to the

exchanged information information they chose to tiny chamber, the craft

with the other minds share. shivered as photosynthetic

regarding its newly formed Eighth-Stalk-Lacking bid cells began to bleed power

crystal. The last member of its mates farewell and left the into the craft. Surface lights

the quad-some, Contingent- feeding chamber. As the embedded on the outer shell

Introspect, descended the wall motile moved down the flashed fast and furious,

and entered the polyp. The passageway, it was already sending and receiving info-

four touched and reveled in ingesting the cells so it could squirts from the waiting

the information they begin the laborious task of scientist-motile.

affectionately exchanged. combining them into one. The creature secured itself

to a true-form patch; the

37

silken bed piled high to darkness that surrounded the like effect the motile tended

protect it from hard planet. to generate.

acceleration. The motile cast --- Eighth-Stalk-Lacking

a thought along its third stalk Eighth-Stalk-Lacking placed its cell in the very last

and with a shudder the craft came awake; the last life was grid. The motile aligned its

was airborne. now lived and implanted. It feeder segment and with a

It was a launch in the heaved its ancient body over shudder spewed a blast of life

truest sense of the word. the threshold of the fluid into the vat. The organic

Silken vines had been woven deprivation chamber and cells responded immediately,

into strands and then trundled into the pathways of bursts of light blinded the

wrapped around the base of the hive. The passageways stalks of the motile. It hastily

the craft. These were held were clogged with many covered them with fronds and

close to the ground by motile on their way to deposit being one of the oldest of the

massive piling grown directly their cells in the birthing local hive, it stayed for the

under the ovoid. When the chamber; some were familiar entire event.

command was given the but most were new to the The-constructs-infancy

tension was released and the motile. They extended fronds was measured in micro-

strands snapped back to their in greeting, touched and cycles, in that time it

original position which tossed exchanged pleasantries as generated thousands of

the shell into the air. When it they passed. The creature thought processes, then

reached apogee, the craft had came to the correct millions as it reached

already accelerated to nearly passageway and trundled up adolescence. When adulthood

two gravities. The the wall to the polyp’s dawned it was already

photosynthetic cells converted entrance. squirting billions of packets

more load into pure energy, The chamber was a less of information.

propelling the craft into the than auspicious for a birth, set Across the planet motile

stratosphere. apart from the main hive; the paused in their duties and

Fraught-With-Peril was polyp was sheltered from the raised fronds in exultation, a

crushed into the patch as light of Advent-Wise as well wordless shout illuminated

gravity assaulted its body. as from the main message- every corner of the hive. The

The motile’s segments pulped ways. Eighth-Stalk-Lacking mind became a flurry of

one after the other driving approached the murky vat of communication as they

pain sensors to overload. fluid and located the space for exchanged thoughts with

Light stalks barely stood erect its cell. Eighth-Stalk-Lacking and the

as it issue one last Laid out on grid of four by new brood grown within a vat

communication, and then the four segments, the construct of life fluid.

motile was crushed into the was a marvel of engineering. The construct came online

organic material that made Nanoscopic threads were and began to bombard the

up the floor. Like the capable of carrying massive hive with questions. It delved

darkness that encompassed amounts of data through each into memories with wild

the souls of the lonely motile one, lights moved so fast it abandon and exhilarated in

far below, the craft continued seemed like a continuous the lives and information that

to sail, now unguided, into the flash with none of the strobe contributed to its birth. It

38

shared its thoughts in designs, tossing some aside, focal point of arguments for

uncontrollable ways, improving others and many macro and mass cycles.

inundating the hive with upgrading the best. The singularity tried to

information-squirts. The mind Eighth-Stalk-Lacking, like explain that it needed to reach

was nearly crushed under the most of the hive, was out to the stars and find other

mental impact. dismayed when the sentience sentient beings. This was

Used to a constant stream began to spend multiple ingrained into its personality

of information, this went cycles away from the hive. At by the memories the many

beyond anything they had times Austere-Paradigm motile that made up its

experienced. Even though the would share its discoveries consciousness. Indeed, this

creatures reveled in the and the motile would know was the primary function they

sharing of feelings, thoughts the joy of communion. So the had designed it for. But when

and fears, it became too much creature was surprised one they built the super

to bear. This forced many to cycle when the construct intelligence they didn’t take

seek deprivation. The contacted it directly. Its local into account the fact that

sentience continued to evolve, stalk shivered as lights Austere-Paradigm might see

learning as it expanded its flashed along the message- itself as an individual with no

thoughts. Just as individuals ways, targeting Eighth-Stalk- real ties to the hive. Instead it

of the hive picked their names Lacking’s personal address saw itself as an entire hive-

based on their lives, so did the space. The motile left its mind, a mind that desired,

construct by announcing itself quad-mates and rushed to the above all else, to expand.

as Austere-Paradigm. launch site. Just as the motile had

Eighth-Stalk-Lacking left A new craft had just rolled created a massive hive mind

its post after it grew too tired out of a factory. Eighth-Stalk- capable of sharing a single

to remain. It rejoined its quad- Lacking ran feelers and thought, the singularity felt it

some and shared all it had fronds along the surface, needed to create its own.

seen. The others were joyous marveling at how hard the Evolution had taught the

and somewhat in awe at what organic material felt. It knew motile that it needed to start

the senior member had it wasn’t possible but it still just as the founder, Echo-

experienced. tried to imagine what it would Light, had.

--- feel like to be on the way into The singularity pulsed into

Quad-cycles rolled by as space. With vision stalks the craft, building powerful

the sentience grew in stature extended, the motile flashed pathways to maintain massive

and processing power. Its its findings to the hive which amount of processing. A

neural pathways led to the soon had the motile leaving blinding flash of light

creation of massive cells the vines to investigate. Like announced the launch of the

under the hive. Data parsed a mobile army of spinning artificial construct as it tore

along the message-ways wheels, the creatures away from the planet.

readying long abandoned descended on the site to Eight-Stalk-Lacking had

factories. These came under chatter about the new its vision fronds extended for

control of Austere-Paradigm. technology. a long time after Auster-

It had studied ancient world Austere-Paradigm’s Pardigm departed but it never

craft and was busy trying departure would become the

39

received a single flash from binary stars were adapted, and They rolled out of the craft

the sentience. in all these cases a copy of and explored the withered

--- itself was left behind. An vines, by the constructs

Unmeasured cycles entire colony had been calculations; this should be

passed. The planet changed as constructed in a system very close to the place it was

the binary stars elliptical dominated by a rare quandary born. It explored as the fading

patterns pulsed larger gravity star, a dedication to its light of Advent-Wise’s suns

waves towards the small creators who based came into focus, the last

world. Weather cycles everything on the number eclipse of the cycle fading

changed, the poles wobbled four. into unlight.

and began to rotate off center. The construct was capable Eighth-Stalk-Lacking

The ice caps melted, flooding of reproducing on the fly and moved through the dying

huge portions of the planet. could weave nanoscopic vegetation and was overcome

The motile returned to the larvae into tiny factories. It with grief. The motile had

tallest vines, built new was able to communicate in built a society that stretched

communities, and tried to ways undreamed of by the across the planets many

continue even as the planet creator, scent receptors, stalks interconnected islands. They

warmed under the punishing that wove patterns in the air, had shared everything, living

lights of Advent-Wise. colors in the infinite as one mind. It wondered if

spectrums of light, and when the mass-cycles had allowed

When Austere-Paradigm all else failed a vocal unit them to develop technology

finally returned it was a could emit sounds. sufficient enough to escape

scream across the sky. A Flashes across the hull their dying planet, or had they

massive pod of bioengineered called out a greeting as it simply faded away like the

material blazed through the settled on the ground, but they dying vegetation it explored.

atmosphere. It made a full went unanswered. As a quad Sadness drove the motile to

roaring circuit over the planet cycle passed, it grew return to the bioengineered

as it searched for its creator. It impatient so nano-scale craft. Once aboard, it was

had been to the farthest worker-larvae were woven taken apart and brought into

reaches of the galaxy and and tasked with building the sentience’s periphery

returned a changed being. It constructs that could explore where it would remain. The

had feelings like fear and a the region. These bore a mind had been there at the

sense of wonder from the striking resemblance to the birth and was thus afforded

countless sights it found. motile’s that had been its many such privileges.

Austere-Paradigm had creator. They were rotund, It could find no trace of

explored planets and segmented into four sections the creator race, nor ruins of

branched out to other solar with stalks and feelers their vast civilization. The

systems. The construct had protruding from their hard sentience had been gone for a

learned to live on gaseous shells. They were led by the very long time. The myriad

giants, planets that flowed mind of Eight-Stalk-Lacking cycles of suns in other

with molten metal. It burned which was brought forward systems had made the early

out as stars bombarded it with and injected into a construct. phase of exploration hard to

gamma rays, other single and approximate a time scale. It

40

had developed a galactic Once explored, the sentience capable of easing their

system that told it that expanded by latching onto loneliness.

Advent-Wise had reached small asteroids and

unlight several million times duplicating itself. It grew and -The End

since its departure. learned, formed more

The construct left the efficient means of travel and HELP WANTED

planet just as it had departed eventually turned its attention

so long ago, this time Eight- to the matter that made up the The partners at Strange,

Stalk-Lacking watched the universe. Once understood a Weird, and Wonderful

departure from the many whole new field of research Magazine are looking for a

sensor grids embedded in the had opened up which allowed 3rd. If you have an interest in

web design and marketing,

craft. it to travel great distances

along with a dream to be part

As it slid away, a while leaving copies of itself owner in a small press ‘zine,

microcosmic event horizon in each system it visited. we’d like to talk to you about

formed. The relativistic time They had encountered it.

dilation spewed info-squirts small life forms but nothing

even as others arrived. When sentient and so their next Maybe your goals and

the tiny hole collapsed, phases would soon begin. dreams will be compatible

billions of packets arrived and Newly created constructs those of D. L. Russell and

were ingested. Many more were already taking shape on Sharon Black.

had been sent along pathways the farthest reaches of the

Those interested can contact

to the constructs scattered stars; they would begin to

us at

across the galaxy. Sadness seek ways to cross the dlrussell@strangeweirdandw

and feelings of renewal were vastness of space that onderful.com

returned when the next worm separated entire galaxies. Like

hole opened exactly three a mobile hive they blazed

micro-quads later. from star to star; replicating Strange, Weird, and Wonderful

The vastness of their solar the light they found in the Magazine

system had been a mystery. endless search for a sentience &

Strangeweirdandwonderful.com

Timothy W. Long has…. been writing tales and stories since

he could hold a crayon. He has also read enough books to …needs your help. We are a free small

choke a land fill. A couple of years ago he decided to turn his web zine and as writers ourselves, we feel

that every Writer and Artist deserves to be

hand to professional writing and attended classes at the paid for their work.

prestigious Gotham Writers Workshop. Tim is the author of Our payments must be considered as a

token, but this expense, along with the

the horror novel Among the Living. He is also published on cost of keeping our site up and running are

Alienskin and Fantastic horror. He has sold stories to almost indeed expenses. Our ads help, but don’t

come close to helping us simply break

a dozen horror anthologies, the most recent of which are Eric even.

S. Brown's War Wolves and Rhiannon Frater's From the Those interested in donating the monetary

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Witches Cauldron. His popular, free serial novel about a man PayPal account:

stuck on a deserted island with only a female zombie can be strangeweirdandwonderful@strangeweird

read at zombie-wilson.blogspot.com. andwonderful.com









41

Hey!





I can think of three times in my life when I have been frightened. When I was less than four

years old, I was in my backyard in Hastings, Nebraska, and saw a snake curled up on the brick

barbecue grill. I grabbed hold of my dad, and climbed him like a tree, pulling out a few hairs on

his chest.



Many years later in Smith Center, Kansas, I was with my mother after school, and we went to

the A&W Drive In. After we ate the treats in the car under the awning, I decided I wanted a

cinnamon sugar donut. I went inside to order and waited. There were two men waiting for their

food. They talked and I didn’t like what I heard. They spoke of crime and stealing money. They

talked about stealing money at future places and I think they talked about their guns. I waited

and waited for someone to take my order, but no one seemed to even pay attention to the order

window.



The men then put me in their conversation, saying they would take me. I froze. I became very

warm. I wanted to act like I was not afraid, but I gave up on ordering that cinnamon sugar donut

and quickly stepped out of the building. I hurried to the car, and told my mother what they were

saying. So we went home and I would never forget that moment or the fright.



Many years later in Wichita, Kansas, I had just moved into an apartment and my boyfriend

decided to go to the grocery store. It was dark outside, but not late at night. The store was only

three blocks away. I don’t remember if I locked the screen door and I sat at the kitchen table. I

looked up at the door. I don’t know why. Had noises forced my attention that direction? I

glanced at the door, and thought I saw someone staring at me. He had his face smashed against

the screen. I froze. I tried not to look. I didn’t know what to do. I waited it out.



When my boyfriend returned, I told him, and he didn’t believe me. Maybe it was a trick of light

on the screen. But I have kept that moment of fright in my memory.









-Sharon Black-







42

Halloween This Time



Every Piece a Small Feast

Every Sack a Banquet

From the Tiniest Tot

To The Biggest Teen

A Holiday, They Make It



Candy, Candy, Candy-Oh Yes

For Halloween We Make It

From Candy Bars to Candied Apples

There Greedy Hands Will Take It



And From My House

They Get the Best

The Sweetest, Tastiest Treat

And Once They’ve Eaten, Yes Had Their Fill

Their Minds Belong To Me



You See My Treats, Those Sweetest of Eats

Made Just For Little Minds

I Cannot Wait

I Just Can’t Wait

For Halloween This Time!







-Stan Pickes

43

44

A Different Man, A Better by a lanky man wearing an I could only find that

Moon overabundance of pouches, ledger…got it.”

by Bret Tallman belts, bags, rings and He paused, waiting for

medallions. But the boat Westin’s fit of muffled





L eopold Wick

wasn’t so nimble

that he could keep

the dry twigs snapping

beneath his boots silent.

men, eager to get back

upriver, had already left the

cargo, nine large barrels that

made the planks beneath them

creak ominously; only old

laughter to subside, then

searched for a particular page

and tore it out. He held it in

front of the girl’s interested

face, displaying a complicated

Madelyn Grady, less than a Patrick Westin was there to commingling of symbols.

quarter her companion’s age greet them. “Alchemy is the dark

at ten years old, didn’t even He waved fingers as science of change, Maddie,”

try; she relished the angry pop browned and stout as he began.

of breaking wood, defiant of sausages to the onrushing girl. “Are those written in

Glimpsed Green’s deathly “There’s our new third,” he blood?,” the girl interrupted,

hush. All around them, the mumbled around a wet hopefully.

great forest bared gray broken mouthful of tobacco, “and it’s “Why yes, they are,” Wick

fangs that split the sunlight about time we had some beamed, pleased to be

into harsh slices. muscle on our crew.” impressive again. “A good

Wick had walked the trail “Wait,” Madelyn gasped, alchemist should have several

between Bidden Town and only just managing to stop vials with him at all times.”

the wharf many times and herself from colliding with “Most carry about ten

knew from experience that him, “where’s the raft?” pints,” Westin interjected.

things were a great deal more “It’s right here, of course,” “Matches are also

dangerous downriver. Still, Wick answered eagerly, indispensable,” Wick

he always crept as quietly as trotting to catch up and continued, ignoring him.

he could; the diseased touch rummaging in the largest of He held a lit match to the

of the Primeval Kings had the bags slung around his page and it burst in a brief

made the wild places of the waist. A man banished from puff of green flame and ash.

world warped and strange, most of the Provinces east of “The spell is undone. The

full of banebreed offshoots of the Glimpsed Green didn’t get lead bands around the raft’s

animals and men. many opportunities to show logs are now reverting to their

Madelyn broke into a run off. original tin form, allowing

as soon as she spotted the “You shrunk the raft so it our faithful vessel to rise from

rickety wharf, jutting out over would fit in your bag?” cried the riverbed.”

the murky green water of the girl, clapping in delight. Wick ran a chemical-

Mercy River. If the men from “Mama said you could do stained hand over his face and

the riverboat had stayed, they magic, Mr. Wick! That’s ruffled the silver and black

would have thought them a amazing!” bristles of his hair to shake

comical pair, this scrawny “Er, no, I meant the raft is the ash out as the girl

little adventurer in rolled-up still here next to the pier,” searched the swirls of various

breeches and shirt, bounding Wick sighed, a bit crestfallen, greens below them for signs

along, being trailed gingerly “but it’s still a good trick… if of movement. “We sink it to

45

keep it from being stolen, lonesome pier as they drifted returning that generosity. See

Maddie. There is something from it. They were how the world works?”

about the Mercy and the underway; at the mercy of the The girl nodded solemnly.

forests she runs through that Mercy, as the rivermen said. Behind her, Westin stared at

makes men lower than they “Mr. Wick, can we try Wick with expectant gray

should be.” some of the moonshine before eyes until he finally ducked

The raft made its gentle we give it away?” Madelyn into his tent to escape them.

appearance with little more asked, tracing the small spade #

than a soft glub-glub-glub and etched into the lid of one of They fished and the

Wick hopped down onto its the barrels. fishing was good. Wick

algae-streaked deck. “No, we’re businessmen always watched the girl to

Madelyn clapped. “Make and our job is to get these make sure she didn’t forget

it sink again! I want to see where they need to go,” he himself and reach into the

it.” answered firmly. The water. Occasionally, they

Wick caught the rolled-up seriousness with which he would pull their line in and

tent Westin tossed down. viewed raft jobs would have find a necklace made of

“You will, but only at night. astonished the dozens of braided weeds or some other

The light of the sun burns easterners he had swindled melancholy gift. Between the

away alchemy’s effects, with cure-alls, exorcisms and ashy trunks on either shore,

which is why I live on a raft baubles of fleeting duration. the forest offered brief peeks

instead of a gentleman’s “Besides, your dear mother’s at lush beauty, lies that had

estate. That’s why we spirit would haunt me if I got lured many men onto the path

alchemists are so mad over you tipsy and you ended up of the bark savages.

gold; it’s sigil is also that of dropping into the Later in the day, the men

the sun, so to master the murksnappers clutches.” shooed the child into one of

creation of gold is to master Madelyn went still for a the tents until a group of

permanent transmutation. moment and her eyes became seven canoes had passed them

“Luckily for us, the water distant, thoughtful. Wick was and were out of sight. The

of the Mercy is cloudy ready to curse his own headless pilots, their sagging

enough to preserve the magic blundering tongue but then blue flesh and the perfectly

even in the day. Now, let’s the girl said, “Thank you identical motion of their

get those barrels on board.” again, sir, for taking me on paddle-strokes were things

Of course, this entailed the like this. I didn’t have she didn’t need to see.

girl watching anxiously and anyone else.” Nightfall gave the

offering helpful suggestions “Oh, well…” His mouth alchemist the opportunity to

as the two men tempted felt very dry. “I was very entertain Madelyn again,

coronaries. Eventually all fond of your mother, as was directing a small flame’s

nine barrels were situated at every lad who passed through dance above their heads

the center of the raft, two Bidden Town. Clara Grady before returning it to Westin’s

tents were raised at either end gave everything she had to iron lamp. It made him

and the rope was untied from everyone she… er, she was wonder if their situation

the wharf. Westin joined the very generous. And now I’m wasn’t actually workable after

girl in waving to the all, if he could just

46

continually keep her in awe; there. The tin bands are plague city to the north,” the

wasn’t the world large and engraved with every captain interrupted,

full of wonders she knew protective ward I could bring “apparently in an attempt to

nothing about? Maybe he to bear. A number of breach the barriers and free

could still feel as free and interesting things will happen the Rippling Sickness onto

unbound as he ever had. to you if you try to board.” the nation.”

The stars opened their The smirk on the captain’s The alchemist was

countless eyes and, not long face turned a little sour and he genuinely appalled at the

after, a steamship flying the stroked the front of his sash, thought and almost felt sorry

flag of the Provinces and the fingering one seal in for giving the captain a hard

crest of the Highest Families particular. “You alchemists time. “That’s insanity… I- I

overtook them. “Ahoy there,” are so bold at night. But would certainly report

laughed the captain, a little come daybreak, I will remain anything I knew. What does

gray drip of a man with a an agent of the Provinces with he look like?”

large, seal-laden sash wound full search authority.” “He’s one of those grubs,

around his chest, “who is the “One who has nothing isn’t he? The sun-fearing

master of this mighty vessel?” better to do than fret about ones?” Westin interjected.

“It’s just a raft,” came moonshine?” He nodded to himself, hocked

Wick’s bitten-out reply. He “Ah, my hunt tonight is far a huge brown gob into the

rubbed the indigo water-stone more important than that. water and fingered the

mounted on the third of the Longingfrost, the Instigator revolver on his hip. “Believe

four elemental rings on his himself, is rumored to be me, sir, we’ll shoot any

left hand, a brief incantation running a band of his fellow banebreed we see.”

forming in his mind. The freaks to the southern Chilled by the stony

current shifted slightly, border.” contempt in his friend’s

bringing them closer Leopold Wick was no voice, Wick wished the man

alongside the steamship. revolutionary and he viewed wouldn’t say such things in

“There. Now, how can we them with the same irritated front of Madelyn. Then the

help you?” disdain he had for their girl herself piped up. “But

“How impressive!” the enemies; how could a man isn’t he a banebreed, Mr.

captain tittered. “Why, you make a living under either Westin?” she asked, pointing

can control the movements of chaos or strangling scrutiny? at the captain. “He’s so little.

an entire raft! Say! Would Nonetheless, a quickly- My ma said little men dance

you mind if I inspected your blossoming dislike for the in the forest and even across

cargo?” strutting dandy in uniform the river at night.”

Wick stood at the edge of compelled him to say, The captain’s mouth bent

the raft and tapped his foot. “Catching him won’t stop the in a spasm of silent fury.

“These oaks grew in the Provinces from breaking “Well, she’s just a child,” he

Slumber Estates; their roots apart. The Highest Families smiled when he had mastered

wound their way among the have stood too long on the himself again. “The freaks

bones of the Blessed common man’s neck, now-” have children too, you know.

Gunmen, drinking up “He caused an enormous I once put a pair of them in

whatever power still lingered eruption in a quarantined the great boiler of this very

47

ship. Even cooked, they’re his head, trying to lose these the odds had been merely

unappetizing.” And with that, thoughts but they wouldn’t terrible instead of impossible.

he turned from them with a go. He stomped over to his An avian shriek nearly

bored sniff. tent and jerked the flap aside. startled him off the raft. He

Wick steered the raft “Careful,” Longingfrost turned to see a crow peering

away, slowing it until the hissed, flinching away from at him from atop a barrel; a

steamship pulled ahead of the light. tiny satin bow embroidered

them and eventually “So sorry,” Wick snarled, with strange calligraphy was

disappeared around a bend in “wouldn’t want you to be tied around its leg. The Clan

the river. He wondered idly if uncomfortable. But at least Man Fell was near.

it would really be so wrong to you’re out of that cramped He bent near the bird and

sample the moonshine; he barrel. I’m sure Madelyn is whispered, “Tell your masters

needed a drink. Even so, enjoying it much more than I’ll be stopping in for a

when he turned and saw you did.” favor.” It exploded skyward,

Westin, he demanded, “What The banebreed donned his a black wing slapping Wick’s

do you think you’re doing?” shadowglass helm and startled face, circled overhead

The older man was prying lowered its faceplate. “I was once and soared downriver.

at the lid of a barrel with his under the impression the Less than an hour later,

fishing knife. “That fool elixir you gave her would they gently drifted around a

might be right. I need to make her sleep through the bank crowded with

know.” experience,” he answered, overhanging trees and came

He found out. The lid of a mildly. within view of the Clan’s raft.

different barrel popped “You are everything the It was three times the size of

upward and a man rose from Highest Families say you are! Wick’s and waited unmoved

it like a full moon incarnate. Holding a little girl hostage. by the current. In its center

Luminescent lines whorled Murdering a good man.” stood a log cabin of sooty

across his spectral skin and “He drew on me.” dark wood, a pair of pink

around his black eyes. Small Longingfrost sounded weary. meaty animal carcasses

animal bones poked out from “I revealed myself with my dangling from the roof’s

his long braid of sandy hair empty hands held high and he overhang and seven black

and a pair of silver revolvers drew on me. Being faster crows standing sentry on its

hung from his hips. doesn’t make me a murderer. apex. Seven overturned

A single shot cried out at “And I’ve known good canoes were docked around it,

the river and the uncaring men. They don’t deny the their ghastly pilots probably

trees. humanity of others, even dangling under the water,

# passively. They certainly indifferent to the groping

Under the noonday sun, don’t deny their own blood.” murksnappers.

the blood looked black, like a Wick felt himself flush at A tubby giant of a man

large splotch of sickness in this last barb and quickly stood before the door and

the wood. But the wood was swung the flap closed. He began waving them over with

already dead and the raft was paced around the barrels, a massive paw. He was

just another corpse floating cursing himself for not having naked except for a hood

down the Mercy. Wick shook fought them in the night when covering his head and a

48

stovepipe hat on top of that. instruments hung from iron the salesman’s charisma he

The man waved them over hooks curling out from the usually had, “and I’ll gladly

again and danced an eerie walls. There was another do you any favor you demand

little jig in excitement, his man, at least Wick thought it in return.”

thick member slapping back was a man under the The man’s laughter

and forth against his thighs. voluminous robe and hood, sounded like raspy hiccups.

Wick felt a thrill of terror at kneeling in a circle of seven “Favors from an alchemist?

the sight but tried not to show reeking fish, chanting and When we have meat magic?”

it as he hefted the long grunting. A third, wearing a He slapped himself in the

hickory pole Westin had often hood and loincloth, sat on a chest, sending a slight quiver

used to steer their craft. low stool, picking at the through his hairy torso.

Madelyn was in a barrel and greasy bits of bird meat on a “Meat magic doesn’t care

that had to be all that plate at his feet. He lifted a about day or night. Doesn’t

mattered. nearly denuded drumstick up care about your favors

Longingfrost poked his beneath his hood and either.”

helmeted head out. “What are generated a thick slurping “You don’t know what I

you doing?” sound, followed by the snap can do,” replied Wick, trying

“It’s the Clan Man Fell,” of bone. on his confident smirk, the

Wick answered, “the lords of These three were the last one that made men pat him on

this river. They’re calling us of their line, the final the back and women lick their

over and nobody refuses descendants of the man who lips a little. “I can put

them. I’m sure all they want had opened the Oldest Gate together a fragrance that will

is the usual show of centuries ago and released the incite a woman’s lust to

obsequiousness and some Primeval Kings and their uncontrollable heights.” This

payment.” flood of poison. The world’s wasn’t true but the dream sold

The banebreed stared at betrayer hadn’t been an evil well to the ugly and lonely.

him for a lingering moment of man, just one convinced that The man clutched his gut

silence, then retreated into the the only good cage was an and sniggered so hard he

tent. Wick wondered why the empty one, regardless of the seemed to be in pain. “Now

river was teeming with consequences. But he hadn’t you’re telling naughty fibs.

enemies whose faces he really known the mark his No woman except of our own

couldn’t see. He wanted his children would bear. damned blood will touch us

own mask. Wick approached the and the last of our females

He tied his raft to the eating man and croaked, died before she could walk,

surprisingly well-crafted rail “Excuse me.” The man went years ago. No more clan,

on the Clan’s platform and still, listening, and Wick bye-bye, end of the river and

stepped aboard, never taking babbled an abridged account time to be emptied into the

his eyes off the big man. The of the events that had befallen sea.

giant tipped his hat and led him since the day before, all “We’ve been trying to

him into the cabin. It was too aware of the giant conjure one of their hairy

dim and musky, the floor standing closely behind him. little mounds on our own

layered in animal pelts. Well- “We need your help,” he flesh but no, even meat magic

worn, grimy cutting finished, trying to summon cannot save us now. That’s

49

the tricky little lie you should floor. The third brother sense other murksnappers

have told us, though, since jumped up from his stool and circling him, could feel the

you’re so intent on fooling us, rummaged around under a way their movements shaped

since you’re so much cleverer worn old fur, producing a lead the surrounding water. An

than us.” ball and chain. Wicked idea ignited in his mind.

Rage had steadily bled kicked and flailed his legs Wick touched the third of

into the man’s voice and about but the man caught the his elemental rings, filled his

Wick realized the seriousness left one and padlocked the head with the incantation and

of his error. “There’s a huge chain to it. felt, to his eternal gratitude,

price on the banebreed’s “Don’t you worry, son, we the water around him answer

head,” he pleaded, all suave let you aboard and we’re not his call. Murksnappers could

pretense gone from his about to break hospitality not speak and their

demeanor, “and you can have rules,” the man called as he expressions never changed, so

it all! Just save the girl, swept aside another pelt and there was no way to convey

please.” yanked up on a trapdoor. the surprise they must have

“Jono, cough up some “We won’t harm you; we’ll felt when the water around

reekers,” the man said, dump you in the Mercy and their new playmate violently

apparently to his brother in she’ll take care of you.” pushed them back.

the circle of fish. “We’ll Rollo carried the The alchemist’s lungs

throw the reekers over to your struggling alchemist almost ached terribly as he tapped

raft, make sure everybody’s without effort. Wick only into the power of his first

in dreamland, then just seal caught a glimpse of the ring, calling out to the silt

them in the barrels.” square of water, so dark it swirling around him. Using

Jono started a different seemed black, before he was the two rings in concert, the

chant, one punctuated every dropped into it. Warm, water and particles became

few beats by gagging. Each grainy water flooded his his hands, flowing into the

regurgitative spasm was nostrils and ears. The Mercy padlock, past the ward, and

heavier than the last. wasn’t extremely deep and he coating the bolt. The inside

Wick thought he might reached the bottom quickly; of his skull began to feel cold

throw up himself. “Uh… but he could have been a and he almost lost control in a

They blindfolded me before thousand leagues under the panic. But desperation gave

they put Maddie in a barrel, sea for all the good it did him. him a last surge of will that

so I don’t know which one The darkness was absolute, at moved the bolt; the padlock

she’s in. We’ll have to search least to his eyes, and even the opened.

them.” strongest swimmer couldn’t He worked himself free

“Not really,” the man have budged the lead ball. from the chain and tried to

shrugged and then nodded at Bladed fingers caressed kick himself upwards but the

the giant, “Rollo, let’s show his shoulder in the dark. He murksnappers had returned.

him out, eh?” jerked away from the One grabbed his calf in a grip

With a nasal burst of lacerating touch and struck so jagged, he couldn’t help

sniggering, Rollo wrapped a out, connecting with a opening his mouth to scream

massive arm around Wick’s sinuous body that spun away and promptly swallowed the

neck and lifted him off the from the blow. He could river. Now in a full-fledged

50

panic, he kicked the creature “Swim!” Longingfrost was incapable of registering

away but became so turned snarled and yanked him by anything good right then. In

around in the darkness and the hair. any case, the man in the

the gentle push of the They made it to the loincloth simply called for

current, he lost track of which western bank of the Mercy Rollo who, after a minute of

way the surface was. As with only one concerted dancing and shrieking, leaned

another undulating body attempt at dragging them back over their craft’s rail and

brushed past him, Wick under. Kicking their way free vomited an enormous gout of

realized he was going to die cost Wick more lacerations pinkish gunk onto the logs

here, a death without sight or and a few lost pouches, but that had served Wick well for

sound or company. they both reached the waiting so long. The man in the

A hand grasped the back willows mainly intact. loincloth threw another torch,

of his neck and spun him Kneeling in the mud and striking the center of the

around; he saw, amazed to be reeds along the bank, they spreading, steaming puddle,

seeing anything, a pattern of watched the proxies wrap the igniting it in a burst of white

ethereal blue like a face last of the barrels lengthwise flame.

drawn in lightning. The with rope, tying its lid shut, Rollo cut the raft free and

murksnappers drew back into and load it onto the Clan’s it drifted gently with the

the roiling green clouds, platform with the others. current even as it burned with

shying away from the Without looking at him, an almost living ferocity.

banebreed’s light. Moments Longingfrost said, “You told Wick watched it pass, fire

later, the two men broke the them, didn’t you?” When dancing across everything

surface of the river, Wick Wick didn’t answer, he above water, and asked

coughing and spewing water, continued in an icy monotone, nobody in particular, “Why?

Longingfrost snapping his “I dove into the water as soon I was willing to make any

faceplate down with a sharp as they threw their first smoke kind of deal they wanted; they

grunt of pain. bomb. I lost my revolvers in didn’t need to do this.”

“Swim for the bank!” the struggle with the river “I envy you if this is your

commanded the latter. creatures, of course, but I first encounter with cruelty,”

“They’ll be snatching at our suppose I could kill you with Longingfrost replied. He

legs soon enough.” my hands. Or perhaps with turned, still crouching, and

“No, I have to get back to my teeth.” began to make his way into

her,” Wick gasped before There were no words to the trees.

realizing it was hopeless; they make the situation any better “Second, actually,” Wick

were being swept farther so Wick continued to watch huffed after him, “and where

downriver with every passing in silence. The man in the are you going?”

second. He turned and loincloth threw a burning “Your friends are already

watched his raft receding, saw torch onto the alchemist’s raft on the move,” the banebreed

that none of his protections but it went out immediately; answered over his shoulder,

had stopped the Clan’s Wick should have been glad “and I suspect they’ll go to

headless proxies from of this proof that he wasn’t Stringfollow. It’s the largest

boarding and gaped, completely incompetent in town this far south on the

overwhelmed. non-alchemical wards, but he

51

Mercy; the search for me and “The Eclipsed have senses all unite as men instead of

mine will radiate from there.” you sunbathers don’t,” turning on each other like

Wick followed him. Longingfrost reassured him, frightened animals.”

“Shouldn’t we try to take kicking his way through “Oh ho!” Longingfrost

them while they’re still on the desiccated bramble. “Just flashed a challenging grin.

river?” give me a minute to “Let’s see if this newfound

“We?” Longingfrost reconfigure them.” sense of brotherhood is real,

paused to look back at him. He leapt up onto a gray shall we? The ley lines here

“Are we suddenly allies knot of gnarled roots and are more warped than any

simply because I can’t be cocked his head. His flesh I’ve ever encountered.

bothered to give you the flared brightly for a moment Luckily, we’re being watched

killing you so clearly need?” and when it subsided, the by someone who can navigate

“Maybe. It’ll depend on pattern on his face was them quite well.”

how things happen and what different. He murmured, “Bark savages? We’ve got

it takes to get my daughter “No… more distance, less to get out of here.” Wick

back,” Wick answered, detail.” Another brief flare turned back the way they had

feeling too wet and stupid to and third set of swirls and come only to find the distance

be anything but honest. squiggles. crowded with deep forest.

There was a slight nod of “Your tattoos…” Wick “Wh-what happened to the

the endlessly black helm. began. Mercy?”

“Well, I would have burned “Some elders believe “We stepped over one of

the damn raft myself if I had they’re sigils or perhaps the broken lines. I think

known you’d be less of a words,” Longingfrost spoke we’re about a half mile east

fool.” He turned and led the dreamily, his focus awash in of the river now.” The

way downriver, careful to sensations Wick could not banebreed pointed a black-

stay on the fringe of the guess. “The Primeval Kings gloved finger. “Look there.”

Glimpsed Green. have written across our skin The two men stared at a

# in a language we can’t bulbously misshapen oak

Nightfall gave understand, probably their looming over them from a

Longingfrost the freedom to own tongue, but to what end, lopsided outcropping.

walk bareheaded but did no one knows. We could be Stillness for several seconds

nothing for Wick’s mood. living books or hymnals. We and then the mounds in the

The Clan had passed them could be a world-ending wood shifted, pushing

hours ago and the day’s travel whisper poised in the forward until a woman’s

along the bank had been slow darkness, waiting for the right shape defined itself as if from

going. tumblers to fall into place.” under a bed sheet, the bark

“We need to find a better He shook his head crackling as it rippled with

path,” Longingfrost abruptly and stepped down sluggish fluidity. The shape,

announced and strode into the from the tangle of roots. the woman, separated herself

silent, sick forest. “Maybe your kind are wise to from the trunk, curves clothed

“Wait! You’ll be lost!” fear us.” gray and rough, dry as death

Wick yelped after him, but Wick shrugged but stepping down towards

followed nonetheless. uncomfortably. “Or we could them with supple, easy grace,

52

leaving no wound or scar on as well as your word. Then day you will see our secret

the tree. we will have a deal.” cities.”

Wick raised his ringed The crack zigzagged down She pulled him into a kiss

hand but Longingfrost her face and neck, between as tart as green apples. The

snatched his wrist. “We’re her breasts, halting on the sourness made his mouth

either going to be made an downward curve of her belly. flood with saliva and he

offer or killed. Let’s leave a The bark sighed as it split and swallowed as her tongue

chance for the former.” peeled away, opening like the danced around his,

A small crag in her face petals of a flower. The releasing… something. He

revealed itself to be her woman beneath had olive pulled back and looked into

mouth when it husked, skin, much gray in her eyes her wild brown eyes. “Seeds.

“Earth, wind, water, fire. and a few slivers of it in her Did I just swallow seeds?”

Even meager control of these tangled hair. #

would be a treasure to my “Give… wait, what?” “We’ve made it,”

kind. You wish to catch the Wick stammered. Longingfrost said when he

vile things on the raft, yes?” “Women and dithering spied a bright red rope tied to

Her voice was honey and lumps,” Longingfrost a low bough and winding off

stone and clear water. frowned, “what is the between the trees. “One of

An unbidden memory, the attraction?” the trails to Stringfollow. I

cold salt stink of the ocean as “Seal your promise with a see they do some trapping in

he looted the rings from a kiss.” She smirked as he this area, so watch your feet,

corpse sliding down a appraised her. “You like the corebreed.”

shattered deck, stabbed at fruit inside? What did you Wick caught himself

him. “We part with think we were underneath?” before stepping in the leaf-

everything eventually,” he “I… something bad,” he strewn jaws of a makeshift

mumbled, pulling the first admitted, but the shame he bear-trap he never would have

ring from his finger. burned with then was entirely spotted on his own.

But the woman waved an due to the lust that had no The woman, once again

impatient hand. “Would we business rising within him encased in the flesh of the

know how to use them? No, while Madelyn was still in forest, nodded her blunt head

you must also come stay with danger. at him. “Good luck. Should

us and teach us.” She reached up and you survive, return to the

“I give you my word, I’ll gripped the back of his neck place of our meeting. You’ll

return to you when I’ve possessively, the motion be able to find your own way

rescued the girl,” Wick releasing the scent of her back by then.” She left,

promised. It may have been perspiration. “We are just slipping out of his perception

true; many of his lies were men and women who chose to in three nimble steps.

simply honesty that didn’t age stand with the land when the “Curious,” the banebreed

well. Primeval onslaught began. said to the alchemist.

She shook her head and a We are not like you orphans, “Not really,” Wick

crack appeared on her brow. alone and shuddering as the answered, fear and revulsion

“You must give of your body world fails around you. One making the words come

clumsily. “The forest is

53

starting to make a little sense Wick looked but saw kneecaps away. And you

to me. I think… she’s made nothing. “They didn’t just can’t do what I’m asking?”

me one of them, infected me.” take the bounty and leave? “But they were working

He kneaded his side with They hate being among with bigger stones than I

trembling fingers. “I think I people.” have!”

can feel shoots moving A headless figure “Clearly.” He bolted from

through me. It doesn’t hurt staggered by one of the the bushes and Wick rushed

but… how do I stop this?” torches, its blood-drenched to follow into the quiet town.

“Seduced and abandoned. oar shining orange next to the From an alley choked with

Left to deal with something flame. kindling piles, they saw

growing inside you all by “Yes, it appears they hate battered corpses littering

your lonesome.” The liquid it quite a bit,” the banebreed Stringfollow’s thruways, six-

blackness of Longingfrost’s responded, dryly. “I think it shooters and rifles still locked

eyes were round with mock safe to assume that, whatever in futile, hardening grips.

sympathy. “How unfair.” they were offered, it wasn’t to The houses were unlit but

“You’re right,” Wick their liking. Can you smell pregnant with fear and

sputtered, furiously, “I don’t the violence, feel the chill of wakefulness even Wick could

have the good moral sense to cooling meat on the air?” sense. Occasionally, a

put a child in a barrel, much “Of course I can’t!” he ghostlike face blinked in and

less raise her properly!” hissed. “What do we do?” out of a darkened window.

“Agreed. Now, we have “The bird appears to be Before they could dash across

less than three hours before trailing the walking corpse. the avenue to another alley,

sunrise renders us both Some kind of animal totem an outraged cawing rose from

useless. Let’s see what can used to steer their proxies? a rooftop. Answering shrieks

be done.” He dimmed the They have to see somehow. sounded in the distance.

whorls on his face until they You need to conjure some “Damn’it,-spotted

were faint blue embers in the wind, strong enough to put already,” Longingfrost

dark and set off briskly, out those torches and knock growled and dove for the rifle

following the rope. the crows out of the sky.” of a nearby body, just as the

A short walk later, the “I can’t move that much first of the proxies came

town’s outer ramshackle air.” racing out of the night

structures came into view, Irritation made towards them, loose flaps of

golden torches dancing atop Longingfrost’s face severe. torn skin waving with the

pikes set between them. “See here, I was at the pumping of its legs.

Longingfrost stopped and Gloming Massacre years ago. Actions crowded into the

crouched in the bushes. I watched alchemists trying to same seconds: The crow

“Isn’t it strange for the defend themselves from the launching itself from its

torches to be lit so late?” Gentlemen Jackals, wrapping perch, the proxy raising its

Wick whispered behind him. sheets of flame around little oar high, light surging around

“The Clan is still here. cyclones that ripped through Longingfrost’s face as he took

One of their crows is flitting enemy lines, raising hands aim. The bullet struck home,

around up there.” from the very earth to tear splattering meat and feathers,

and the walking corpse

54

wheeled and fell as if shot. the fire. “That leaves three. “So I peeled the sinfulness

Two more attackers appeared We need to find more bullets away from the grubs.” He

from the same direction. for this rifle and move the kicked a nearby chair,

Wick spun, yelped and fighting into the narrower upending the glistening mass

dropped just as a fourth proxy alleys. That way the birds of exposed muscle onto the

sent its weapon slicing will have to make themselves floor. “And I gave it to

through the air above him. easier targets if they want to Mister Law and his boys!”

He kicked it in its discolored see what’s going on.” He patted the captain’s

groin, which ruptured and “But what about the shoulder and the little man

sprayed fluids down his foot, Clan?” he asked. whimpered through fused

but to no effect. Another rifle “Hmmm. Yes, about lips, his face a nauseating

shot rang out as he them…look over there.” The mass of Eclipsed flesh melted

backpedaled frantically, his banebreed pointed over onto his own, the once bright

attacker swinging relentlessly. Wick’s shoulder. whorls now dull and seeping.

Wick scrambled up one of the He turned and then pain “Now that’s the artistic side

kindling piles and the proxy and then darkness. of meat magic!”

lurched up after him, # “What happened?” Wick

unsteadily, giving him the Wick woke in a saloon; asked, stupidly, slowly

space he needed to call to the the whisky stains spotting coming to the realization that

nearest torch’s flame. every rough, wooden surface this wasn’t a dream. He

It was barely within his put the lie to any pretense of stirred in the chair he had

last ring’s reach, but it leapt compliance with the law. The been dumped in, saw that his

from the tip of its pike to the captain of the steamship and rings were gone.

base of the kindling pile. his crew were present but The man lifted the glass

Wick lifted one of the small they didn’t seem inclined to under his hood and gulped it

firelogs over his head, complain, seeing as how they down with a glottal click.

absorbing a bone-jarring were bound and seated at “You had a partner out there,

blow, trying to give the fire candlelit tables with the very eh? That grub we missed, I

time to build. Another savage banebreed fugitives they had reckon. Looks like he turned

oar swing tore the log from been chasing. Wick on you. He got our headless

his hand and sent him recognized them all despite boys too. My brothers will

tumbling down the pile but the mad distortions inflicted find him though.” He lurched

the one end of it was now on them. towards the bar and soaked

well on fire. He rolled away “You like it, eh?” The the burnished counter as he

and subdivided the flame, man in the loincloth sauntered tried to pour himself another

making it dance all around the into view, a revolver dangling drink.

base of the pile. Within from one grubby hand, a shot- “Mr. Wick,” a small voice

moments, the proxy was glass raised in the other. called to him. Madelyn sat on

roasting in the center of a “We’re toasting the good the narrow bench of an

bonfire. people and their hypocrisy! I elderly piano tucked away in

“Well done,” Longingfrost thought to myself, how do we the dimmest corner of dining

said, walking towards him celebrate it? How do we truly room.

stiffly, wincing in the light of capture it?

55

He jumped up and had her minutes until a shrill wailing Longingfrost held up a

in his arms in an instant, pierced his thoughts. “Rollo,” finger, stood over the giant

heedless right then of the he slurred as he ran to a and blithely shot him in the

possibility of getting shot. window. The sound, a high, head. “There. Blessed

“Have they hurt you?” he effeminate torrent of silence. I took the robed one

whispered. hysterical pleading, somehow first, dressed as him which

“That man was going to got louder. fooled this animal well

but then the big one stopped “No!” the man cried, face enough, and… you can see

him,” she said in the wobbly pressed against the glass. “He the rest.”

voice of childish sorrow. needs his hood! Don’t you “No. I can’t see why

“The big one kept trying to make that boy show his face!” you’d leave me for them.”

play with me and get me to On shaking legs, he burst out Longingfrost waved an

like him but he’s so horrible the saloon door. exasperated hand at the

and my mama taught me a Wick sidled up to the corpse in the loincloth. “Did

little piano so I played that window, peered out and saw not just see what happened?

and he liked it so I kept the giant lying in the street, Better to hold love hostage

playing and-” The rest ran covering his head with his than be held by it. You might

together in tears. blubbery arms, his body have turned on me to attempt

He cupped her face, still undulating with his weeping; another ridiculous deal. Now

round with baby-fat, and said, saw the man in the loincloth to finish it. I trust the good

“Well, your mother was a rush to help his brother, to captain is in there?”

great woman, too great for pick up Rollo’s hood, lying in “Yes. But I don’t think

me. But the truth is I’m your a crumpled heap just two any of your people survived.

father. I wish I had an yards from the giant; saw the I’m sorry.”

important reason why I bear-trap hidden beneath the “I know. The robed one

wasn’t with you since the hood snap on the man’s arm told me before I was done

beginning. I’ve spent years and the man thrash in agony; with him. But still, I must

thinking that if alchemy were saw Longingfrost rise from finish it.”

powerful enough to change a behind Rollo’s bulk, a The day’s events had

person the way it can metal, if revolver in his grip, and shoot reminded Wick why he

I only had a better moon, I the man dead. always ran from violence; he

could be different man. But Unsure of what would was entirely sick of blood.

there’s no more time to wait happen next, but needing to “You haven’t seen those men.

for change to somehow get Madelyn out of the They’ve suffered enough.”

happen. I’m here now and charnel house, Wick took her “No, they haven’t,”

until the end.” hand in his and walked out, Longingfrost snarled so

The man in the loincloth approaching the banebreed savagely Madelyn hid behind

sat utterly still, glass lifted warily. When he was close Wick. “And neither have

and forgotten halfway to his enough to see the trap you, Mr. Wick, considering

head, and watched this pincering Rollo’s ankles what you’ve cost me. But I

exchange through ragged together, he said, “Nice release you.” From a pocket,

holes in his hood. He work,” but couldn’t be heard he produced Wick’s rings and

remained that way for several over the wailing. dropped them into his hand.

56

“Avoid meeting me again, The hem of the sky grew home. He hadn’t asked for

corebreed, and tell the rest of pink and Wick wondered at either but that no longer

your kind that civilized the transformed life the sun meant anything.

enemies come in pairs or not was dawning on. He didn’t

at all.” He strode away from want to see Stringfollow in -The End

them and disappeared through sunlight. He didn’t want to Bret Tallmen… Lives in New

the saloon’s door. see any such place he known. York. His stories have

“My kind,” the alchemist He picked up the little girl, appeared in Aoife’s Kiss,

Hub, Alienskin, Down in the

repeated, no longer sure, for his new family, and carried Cellar, and others.

his part, what that meant. her into the forest, his new







Halloween Jail Cell Soup

Lefty Got The Water

He’

He’s Kinda Dumb

So The Only Job We Gave Him

Was That One



The Knife Ain’t Sharp Either

But He Found a Skunk

All I Can Say Is

It Stink, Stank, & Stunk



Dandelions, Wild Onions,

Leftover Gravy

Halloween Jail Cell Soup

Oh So Delicious Baby!



Sumptor-

-Courtney Sumptor-Smith







57

Guest Bloggers Wanted

wonderful

Strange, weird, and wonderful Magazine is

looking for guest bloggers for our strange,

weird, and wonderful blog.





Your topics, your uncensored opinions.





If interested, please contact D. L. Russell at

strangeweirdandwonderfulblog@strangeweirdandwonderful.com







Visit:



http://strangeweirdandwonderful.bravejournal.com/









58

GREEN WATCH

our local gas stations, for decades. This “System”

will begin with The EFuel Corporation collecting

the dregs and unusable liquids from wineries,

distilleries, and other sugary waste. These

unusable liquids will then be delivered to your

home, being pumped into the 50 gallon

distillation column of your MicroFueler™ closet,

which will process the waste and store your 100%

Ethanol, until you pump it into your car. If you

don’t want to use their waste to make your fuel,

no problem; according to their web site

(www.microfueler.com) the MicroFueler™ is

compatible with numerous other organic fuel

materials, including anything rich in sugar,

fermentable liquids, cellulosic material and even

The EFuel Corporation Taking on Big Oil algae.



This is gonna’ be big! This will never be allowed to succeed!



That was my immediate reaction after reading an The more I learned about the bold vision of The

article on the EFuel100, recently. The EFuel EFuel Corporation, the more I kept shaking my

Corporation headquartered in Los Gatos, CA and head. This isn’t some loony invention from a guy

founded by Thomas Quinn; the man behind the working out back in his shed; this is really a

technology which made Nintendo’s Wii system process and product which could change the

controller so much fun is currently attempting to world and I must be honest, the “conspirator”

turn the fossil fuel industry on its ear with its within me, just can’t see the energy or oil industry

MFS100-001 MicroFueler™ System. taking such competition lightly. I keep thinking

Currently, the EFuel distillery, which they of the mythical 100 mile per gallon carburetor,

call the MicroFueler™ closet can be purchased and the vanishing electric cars in the state of

from a dealer for around $10,000. That’s a salty (http://www.sonyclassics.com/whokilledtheelectri

price to pay for cheaper, cleaner fuel, but the ccar/) California (and I say to myself, “There are

current $5000 tax credit from the 2009 Economic very powerful forces with everything to lose from

Stimulus Package will make that cost a little each gain The EFuel Corporation has. All you

easier to swallow, and over time, the price is sure need to do is take a look at the current fight over

to come down. healthcare to get an idea of what I’m getting at.

Imagine, having your own fuel pump in your In order for the MicroFueler™ to succeed, it

backyard? Now imagine that pump being able to will take the average American paying attention.

process gallons of old wine, beer, and other Even if you know this product is still out of your

sugary liquids, into 100% Ethanol, with the only reach financially, check out The EFuel

byproduct being waste water, which could be use Corporation’s web site from time to time, follow

to water your plants. The EFuel Corporation in the press releases. One way or another, this is

attempting not just the selling of its product to going to be big!

individuals and corporations, but it’s laying out

the roadmap of a bio fuel infrastructure that will Links

rival the fine tuned delivery systems we’ve seen at www.microfueler.com

www.whokilledtheelectriccar.com

59

60

Doctor Millicent and the towards the wall, pressing her Thomas,” she said flicking

Wall booted feet, precisely onto the away his impertinent hands

by Deborah Walker wet mulch the wall. “I get with a sharp tap, “it is there

thus far and am returned to and I must know its answer.”





I n the gathering dark

the travelling barber-

surgeon and physician

Doctor Millicent Bertram-

White surveyed the wall. At

my origin.” Indeed, that is

what happened; Dr Millicent

could get no closer than a

hands breadth of the wall,

without being returned to her

said

“Are you always thus?”

Thomas

melodramatic sigh.

with



“Almost always, my dear,”

she smiled. “Now, consider

a







her side was her companion, position next to Mr Perkins. that the nature of a wall is to

the indecently attractive, Mr “It’s the wall,” said Mr divide. And what is on the

Thomas H Perkins, journalist Perkins. “That’s what it does, other side of this wall? Why,

and keeper of mooncats. His I told you so, but you would nothing but a continuation of

mooncat rested comfortably insist on seeing it, and in the the wood, or so it appears.

at his shoulder. An upper night, too.” And that is strange enough, to

class affectation, the lower “It is better that my have this English copse

orders put their mooncats to experiments are not observed surrounded by mile upon mile

good use, you can be sure of by all.” She approached the of heated desert. And when

that. The mooncat observed wall again, there was a one attempts to scale this wall

Dr Millicent, its bright eyes shimmer in the air and she one is immediately repelled.

gleaming silver in the was yet again repelled to her Therefore, there is something

diminishing light. point of origin. “I have unique, on one side or the

“Mr Perkins, what do you travelled the length of the other, or possibly on both

make of that?” great desert to investigate this sides. Do you follow my

“It’s the wall. It’s always phenomenon. When I heard reasonings?”

been there, there’s no getting of your English principality, “Your logic, as always, is

over it.” this oasis in the great wild, I like crystal. Now, can we

“And have you tried?” was driven to explore. This leave?”

“Many times in my youth. wall constrains me, and I am “I cannot fathom the other

We all try, and we all fail.” not prepared to yield.” side of the wall, so what here

Dr Millicent surveyed the “You will not yield to the can I identify as unique?

wall. It appeared to be wall, but will you yield to Why your mooncats, of

constructed out of local stone, love?” said Mr Perkins course. They are exclusive to

held together without mortar, putting his arms around her this location; in all my travels

reminding her of the dry- and reaching for the buttons I have seen no other animals

stone walls that surrounded of her blouson, trying to show such intelligence and

the fields of her English unclasp the jacket that fitted utility.” The mooncat turned

childhood. so tightly at her waist and its intelligent simian face

“And yet it is there. It draped so softly against her towards Mr Perkins, as if it

presents something of a hips. was following the thread of

challenge doesn’t it? When I “Ah, Mr Perkins I think the conversation. Dr Millicent

approach it in an orderly you already know the answer looked closely at the animal

fashion, thus...” She walked to that. But seriously, now, and it began to groom its long

61

fluffy tail, looking for ticks costume, for she had been endure when she was gone.

with its articulated fingers. greeting fathers and husbands For, Dr Millicent would never

“Millie, the wall is there, it all morning. Now she was stay in one location for more

is always there, and it will expecting a more important than half a year, though the

always be there. And the visitor. pleasure of Mr Perkin’s

mooncats...” He stoked the A leather carpenter’s belt company was a temptation to

luscious fur of the creature was fastened around her linger.

resting on his shoulder. “They waist, containing an Yet, still, the very nature

are the same, they have emergency surgical kit with of the wall, which bordered

always been here, and they folding scalpel and bistouries; this principality, continued to

always will be here, as our her blood-letting implements inhabit her thoughts. In a

little furry friends.” in a tortoiseshell case, edged way, the people of this land,

“But has anyone with gold; a metal case saw it not, it was part of their

investigated their nature? I containing two or three seamless lives. But why

have diverse instruments in leeches; a vial of smelling should it be there? She had to

my travelling case. I will salts; a flask of cherry brandy; know. The answer had to be

subject them to my scrutiny.” and a portable mechanical found with the mooncats and

“You’re not experimenting massager. Dr Millicent continued her

with Lord Charles, is she She wore elbow-high investigations while

darling?” Thomas made gloves in the softest of kid managing her clinic treating

soothing noises to his pet. leather, a row of buttons the deliberating disease of

“Pick one of the wild ones, running tightly up the seam, female hysteria.

they abound around here.” her hat was a tiny, lacy A knock on the door

“Lord Charles is a fine confection, pierced and signalled the arrival of her 12

specimen, “said Dr Millicent, pinned into place with hatpins O’clock appointment. An old

looking appraisingly at the in the shape of the caduceus; woman of the working orders

mooncat, now cradled in Mr the intertwined snakes that entered her steam-powered

Perkin’s arms. symbolised the profession of travelling surgery, which she

“Keep your diverse the physician. used as a consulting room and

instruments off Lord Charles. She had been in this operating room - if need be.

Save your experiments for the isolated principality for three As the old woman entered

women.” months now. Her work, her the room Dr Millicent stood

“You are young, Thomas, practice, was progressing up to greet her.

and you know little of well. Word was spreading “Mistress Redwood, thank

women.” that her treatments were you so much for visiting me. I

“Then teach me, my love.” efficacious, and more and have wanted to meet with you

And there beneath the more men were bringing their for some time. I wonder if

shadow of that perturbing wives and daughters for you have heard about my

wall she did, indeed, teach treatment. She was assured work?”

him. that she was doing well in this The old woman sat down

# town, helping the women, and took out an old pipe

Dr Millicent was dressed making money and perhaps which she began to fill with

in her most impressive creating a legacy that would some sort of disreputable

62

tobacco, well a tobacco-herb muscle spasm, shortness of correctly. And there is the

mix. She padded down the breath, irritability, loss of matter of propriety to be

tobacco with her thumb. Not various appetites, and as a considered.”

to be outdone, Dr Millicent tendency to cause trouble.” “Aye?”

took out a cheroot from a “A tendency to cause “Let me be blunt,” said Dr

plain, ebony case and lit her trouble?” Millicent, trying to break

cigarette with the flame of a “That is how it has been through the implacable

long handled Lucifer. She described.” reserve of her guest. Madam

offered the flame to Mistress Mistress Redwood Redwood was the town’s

Redwood. laughed. “I find that the midwife and healer to the

“Tobacco is so soothing - working women are not much working people. She knew

don’t you find?” said Dr troubled with hysteria.” She more about female troubles

Millicent, inhaling the dark laughed again “Apart from than Dr Millicent might ever

smoke. the “tendency to cause ascertain.

“Not many women are trouble”, there’s plenty of “If a father or a husband

allowed to smoke it.” that.” claims that the patient is

“I do as I please, Mistress “Nether-the-less, Madam, hysterical you are to

Redwood, as I suspect you it causes real misery for many demonstrate this mechanical

do.” women, and for their families. device - in the way in which

Dr Millicent allowed the May it be a disease of the its very nature dictates.”

mingling smoke to fill the body or of the mind, it still She was talking to the

silence for a few minutes, causes suffering.” village midwife; surely she

before she started to speak. “And why do you seek my didn’t have to paint a picture?

“I travel, Madam, setting company?” asked Madam She suspected that the

up clinics all over these lands, Redwood. midwife was enjoying this

treating the female diseases. I Dr Millicent went to her conversation.

am setting up a treatment bureau and removed a “Demonstrate you say?”

centre for female hysteria in medical artefact. “This is a “Well explain, at any rate,

this very town, there has been mechanical device which whatever the situation calls

much interest.” undertakes medical for.” Dr Millicent looked

“Hysteria, you say? I have vibrations, which can be of directly at Mistress Redwood.

heard of it, how does it show service when treating the “You’ll be doing these

itself?” hysterical patients.” She women a great service, and

“Well, the symptoms are turned the brass key at the that is the most important

manifold. One of my bottom of the device, causing thing in this business.”

colleagues in England has it to vibrate. She set it on the “And what will you be

listed its symptoms to over table between the two doing, while I’m working

seventy pages, and he admits women. Madam Redwood with this?” Madam Redwood

that this list is incomplete. stared at the device. picked up the mechanical

Symptoms may be manifest “I have found that the device, its clockwork

as faintness, nervousness, local physicians do not have whirlings and vibrations were

insomnia, fluid retention, the expertise, or the patience, drawing to a close.

heaviness in the abdomen, to demonstrate this instrument

63

“I have set up several much, but I’ll pay you what I she’d have been tickled by

discussion groups, I have can.” that.”

found that the “talking cure” “It’s not money I need - I “I shall indeed, thank you

as I have termed it, has do alright. But what would Mistress Redwood.”

proved even more efficacious you be doing with my Gran’s “Call me Sally, if you like.

in the treatment of the old medical recipes. Physician That’s what most folk do, old

patients than the medical Michaels says they’re nothing Sally, eh?”

massage. But the men expect but fiddle-faddle.” “Sally, then,” smiled Dr

a more conventional Dr Millicent looked at the Millicent. “And you must

treatment. And it can do no woman who’d had over forty call me Millie.”

harm.” years experience, often Sally thought for a

“And what will the device treating the same patients moment and then came to a

achieve, that cannot be from moment of their birth to decision.

achieved by the patient the moment of their death. “You’ve been

alone?” Treating thousands of patients investigating the wall I hear.”

“It has the aura of over the course of a lifetime “Oh yes. I felt sure that the

medicine and of science; it is dedicated to healing. answer lay with the mooncats.

acceptable to the patients and “Madam, like me, you are I’ve bled poor Lord Charles

to their guardians.” a woman of science and half to death, trying to

“Aye, well, I suppose you medicine. I would be identify some chemical factor

know your business, I’ll be honoured if you could share that might explain its

off then.” Mistress Redwood your recipes with me. I collect identity.”

tucked the instrument under them, and I have found more “I’ve been over the wall.”

her arm and readied herself to truth in fiddle-faddle then in “You have?”

leave. all of the new compounds “Yep, me and my old

“Wait, Madam,” said Dr suggested by the Royal Gran, too – it’s something of

Millicent pulling out her Society. Shall we begin?” a family tradition.”

transcription box. “I would And Mistress Redwood sat “But I thought no-one had

greatly like to take advantage down and described a fraction ever crossed the wall.”

of your medical experience.” of her intelligence into the “Well, we can’t have

“You would?” transcription box. To Dr everyone hopping across, can

“Of course. You’ve been Millicent’s delight she did we? But, you Dr Millicent I

treating the men and women have a number of medical think you’d learn from it, and

in this land, for how many recipes that she was prepared you look like a woman who

years? I’m sure that you’ve to share. can keep her mouth shut.”

got a lot to teach me.” At the end of the sessions, “Yes, of course, I’ll keep

Dr Millicent wound up her Mistress Redwood said: your secret. What do I need to

transcription box, which was “Just use my old Gran’s do?”

able to make a recording of recipes to help those “You’re right in thinking

the spoken word. “Maybe you unfortunate women in your of the mooncats. They create

even have a recipe book of travels. Maybe mention the wall. All you’ve got to do,

medicines, I can’t pay you Granny Redwood by name, is round up all the wild



64

mooncats in the area and the “There you go then. Come check on the detainees locked

wall will open up for you.” on my love there is a wall to in her travelling surgery.

“But how can a mooncat be broken down.” “I do hope they’ll be

create a wall?” “Goodbye, Lord Charles,” comfortable in there,” she

“Don’t know and don’t said Thomas sadly. said.

care, but you go through and # “Oh, mooncats are robust

you’ll maybe add a few more They had decided to enough creatures. Pity your

words to that book of your. A undertake their adventure at clothes if they manage to

good thing you’re doing, my night when there was less break into your wardrobe, for

love, sharing out the women’s chance of being observed in they love to nest.”

wisdom in the world.” the somewhat undignified “Has that last trap

“Thank you, thank you so task (to Dr Millicent’s mind), worked?”

much Sally.” of catching the wild “Yes, I believe it has.”

“Take young Mr Perkins, mooncats. Mr Perkins scooped up the

too, if you like. Maybe the “How do you suggest that last mooncat into his arms.

wall’s been a secret too long.” we do it?” asked Dr Millicent. “Sorry about this, old chap,”

And with a smile the old “Well mooncats are he said as he placed the

midwife left. notoriously found of cheese startled creatures in the back

# and I happen to have acquired of the travelling surgery.

“I don’t see why we can’t several pounds of Bishop’s The travelling surgery had

take Lord Charles,” said Blue Best. I bought it with been designed by the Stanley

Thomas, he was dressed in me,” he added, somewhat Steamer Company and was

what he thought of as his unnecessarily, as Dr Millicent indeed a fine mechanism. It

adventuring gear. He had had already detected a strange was powered by high pressure

replaced his usual velvet suit and pungent odour emanating steam and by an external

with clothing of a more robust from his person. combustion engine. Although

nature, a Harris Tweed long “Then I will perfect it took over a minute to start

jacket and knee-length several mooncat traps, from from cold, the machine could

trousers. He was also wearing my old hat boxes.” She be driven with high

a leather cap and motoring disappeared into her acceleration of up to forty

goggles. travelling surgery, then miles per hour.

“You know why, Thomas. emerged carrying several Dr Millicent herself had

Please don’t be tiresome. round, elegant yet sturdy worked with the company to

Mistress Redwood said that it boxes. “Let the catching of implement some special

is the mooncats that create the the mooncats commence.” designs which facilitated

wall.” They worked all night, the her-- transportation over

“Well she certainly knows cheese was a strong attractant unreasonable terrain. She was

a thing or two. I remember for the little animals and by awfully fond of Vicky, as she

when my sister Amy was morning’s break they had called the machine, it has

born; it would have been a trapped almost all of the been here home and her place

bad business without Old mooncats in the immediate of work, for many years and

Sal.” vicinity. Dr Millicent went to she had arranged her



65

possessions with a nicety of “Yes, that’s true enough, Indeed there was warm

design. and none like you sweet sand beneath her feet. She felt

“Let us proceed,” said Dr Thomas, no one to pin up my a hundred tiny hands tugging

Millicent. “I will drive these hair, for you’ll make a good her, and the noise of many

creatures away. I am sure that maid, if journalism does fail tiny feet.

there can be no more left in a you.” “Good Grief!” she

five mile radius. I do believe And throughout this explained. “Is this the touch

that they’ve been coming exchange one of the mooncats of mooncats?”

from miles around to eat your has pressed itself against the “Yes indeed it is,” said a

cheese, Mr Perkins.” surgery window, fixing its voice in her ear, she felt the

“I’ll remain here, to ensure bright eyes upon them. smooth touch of a tiny hand at

that no mooncats enter while Dr Millicent drove away her face. “We are very

you are absent,” said Mr the travelling surgery; she left pleased to meet you.”

Perkins. The he took a deep the disturbingly noisy “Do you mind awfully,

breath and said, “You know mooncats a mile away. When removing yourself from my

Millie, you are not like any of she returned to the wall she person. I’m not used to such

the other women I have saw that Thomas was absent handling.”

known.” and that there was a portal in “Of course.”

Dr Millicent looked at the wall. “And some light is there

him, “Take care Thomas, and She smoothed down her any way you can facilitate a

do not give your heart to me.” skirts and placed her talisman little more illumination?”

“Why ever not, Madam?” of science, her The darkness cleared, and

“I’ll be moving on before ophthalmoscope, around her Dr Millicent could see the

the month is complete, you neck. other side of the wall. She

know that.” With a steady stride she was standing on sand, and

“And don’t you ever want walked towards the wall. She surrounded by hundreds of

to stay in one place, with one was not repelled. She pointed mooncats. Her eye took in the

person?” her foot through the portal, scenery at a glance as she had

“There are not words and tried to find a purchase on once looked at a painting by

enough for what I want, the side of the portal. She Hieronymus Bosch. Taking in

Thomas. I want to hold the stepped through into.... the overall view, then drawn

world, and the sun, and the Into darkness. back to see some strange

stars in my hand and cast my “Hello. I say, is anyone detail. Overall the picture was

eye upon them.” She looked there?” of cascading mountains and

away. “There will be other “We are,” replied some cubed architecture. The

women, my love, and more voices. square buildings were placed

suitable to you. For I doubt if “And who are you?” on top of each other, like a

I could make any man happy “Who are you?” child’s building blocks.

for more than a month or so. “I am Dr Millicent Everywhere the mooncats

My nature leads me on.” Bertram-White, and I would danced, in and out of the

“There will be no one like be grateful if you could assist trees, over the buildings,

you, my Doctor.” me, for I seem to have fallen between her boots, they were

into... Is this sand?” a wild swirl of movement

66

decorating the landscape. And “You’re on the other side his face and staring at her

the strangeness was in the of the wall of course, hee with his tiny squirrel eyes.

detail. The trees with their hee.” “You live here, I surmise,”

spiralling braches looping and “Be quiet, Jade,” said Dr Millicent.

twisting into a complexity admonished a mooncat, who “Correct,” said the

that defied her eye. The had the look of age around mooncat

carvings of the block him. “Do not tease the poor “You built the wall.”

dwellings had repeating woman so. You are in our “We create the wall, as

regularity that seemed to land now, lady. We acquired part of our existence, it’s

indicate a language to Dr this land some time ago, in a easier that way.”

Millicent’s scientific mind. A manner legal at the time, and “And you are intelligent.”

statue of what appeared to be have altered it somewhat to “Somewhat.”

a man, with a crowd of small suit our preferences.” “But why are you here,

mooncats crawling over and “You certainly have,” said what is the meaning of your

around and around it, Dr Millicent, looking around existence?”

dropping like raindrops with a her, considering the swooping “Lady, I cannot answer

soft “Plop” onto the warm cadences of the mountains, that question. We live, we

sand. the strange and unsavoury study, we grow we die. Just

If only I had thought to vegetations. like everyone else in the

bring my iconography “Where is Mr Perkins?” universe.”

apparatus, she thought, but in “He’s with some of our Everyone else? Dr

truth she has hardly expected more excitable youngsters, Millicent would save that

this enterprise to manifest I’m afraid. They’re filling comment for later evaluation.

itself to success. Let my him with strange tales which “And the mooncats on the

memory be my iconograph. unfortunately he seems to be other side of the wall?” asked

She looked behind her, believing.” Dr Millicent.

the wall was there, but the “What could be stranger “Oh the young ones like to

opening was closed. than all this?” play in the woods for some

Her scientific brain, “You’d be surprised.” adventure, and the ones with

buzzed, here against all “I’m sure I would be.” the humans are scientists.”

aspects of her experience, was And then, to her “Studying what?”

evidence of speaking consternation, Dr Millicent “Human behaviour.”

creatures, presumably felt herself growing faint, her “I see,” said Dr Millicent.

intelligent, though somewhat legs began to buckle under “Well, I can see that I’ve used

lacking in good manners she her feet. “I fear a swoon,” she a lot of your valuable time, if

thought to herself as she managed to say, before doing you could be so kind as to

smoothed down her ruffled just that. direct me to Mr Perkins, I

dress. She recovered with the think we’ll be on our way.”

She tried to think of an splashing of water upon her “But don’t you want your

intelligent question. “Where face. Mercifully most of the boon?” said the mooncat with

am I?” is all that she other mooncats has been a smile.

managed. vanquished and only one with “My boon?”

the greying fur, sat, grooming

67

“Traditionally when you Dr Millicent turned and recipes to investigate. And

humans meet us, we offer a gazed at Mr Perkins. He we exchanged some rather

boon, maybe some type of wilted under her scrutiny.. interesting opinions on the

technology that will assist “I mean, I’d often thought nature of female hysteria.

your species?” how wonderful it would be if Ah, Thomas, I think even my

“You’re a fairy?” Lord Charles could speak, mind cannot encompass all

“Ha, we prefer the term rather than just put his that he has told me. But I will

mooncat. But yes, in your thoughts into my head.” try; you can be assured of

land I believe you refer to us “You mean to tell me Lord that.”

as fairies. You’re from the Charles talks to you – in your And they walked away

Angle-Land I believe.” head?” from the wall to release the

“And you would give me “Sure he does. What’s the mooncats from the travelling

technology freely?” matter; you’ve often heard me surgery, and to seal the

“A boon – yes. As long as talking to him.” doorway to the mooncats

it’s appropriate to your “But I thought you were strange and unfamiliar land.

culture, nothing too advanced, being eccentric.”

you see.” “No.” -The End

“I see,” said Dr Millicent, “Honestly, Mr Perkins,

thoughtfully. what hope do we have of

# communicating with another Deborah_Walker…

Later she met a rather species if we can’t even

over-excited Mr Perkins. communicate with our own.” procrastinated for twenty

“They told me that they Dr Millicent paused for a years before starting to write

flew through the air in a ship moment before continuing. speculative fiction. She lives

powered by light from the “And the secret of the wall?

stars, and that they live Shall we make it known in the in London with her two lovely,

forever and never grow old, town? No. I think not, they but distracting young children.

and that they only have to have their space and we have She has stories and poems

think of thing and it appears ours, let it stay that way, and

in front of them.” if sometimes we cross over,

accepted by over thirty

“Ah, Thomas, I’m sure well that’s all to the good.” publications. She recently won

they were pulling your leg.” “And did you take your the MISFITS annual writing

“You think?” boon, Millie? I got some

“Yes, definitely. But what marvellous stories for my

competition and she’s had recent

a life, what an adventure, to boon, I think I’ll write them acceptances from Library of

hear these creatures speak, as a novel.” the Living Dead Zombonauts

what an amazing experience.” “A novel,” said Dr

“Yes, amazing. I’ve often Millicent scornfully.

Anthology, A capella Zoo, and

wondered what their voices “But your boon,” said Dreams and Nightmares.

would sound like, you know Thomas “what did you get for

if you heard them aloud.” your boon?”

“Well, let’s just say that

I’ve got a few more medical

68

bank the bookshelves and DVD racks of

Japan, like Sailor Moon or the Pretty Cure

Girls. But when you meet her in the flesh you

find that she has very real three-dimensional

human qualities.



In Japanese, Anigao is shortened from

Anime Kao (Anime Face). Anime is huge in

Japan and the Anigao Girls are a new wave of

celebrities that blur the line of distinction

between the real and the imaginary. Their

popularity could be attributed to the fact that

many of the nation's young men have lost

touch with reality. These men, the so called

Otaku, are so immersed in the world of manga

and video games that they are either unable to

acquire the social skills needed to develop

relationships with real girls, or even worse are

no longer attracted to real girls.





The Anigao Girls of Akiba

おたく文化

by Mark Lee Pearson



Otaku, literally stay-at-home, roughly

translates as nerd. In Japan it is almost cool to



G

oing to Japan? Want to meet a

Japanese girl? Want someone more be Otaku, following the international success

gamy than a Geisha? Someone more of Densha Otoko (Train Man) TV show and

manga than Maiko? Well, then how about a movie (above), which follows the true story of

trip to "Akiba", or Akihabara, the Capital of a shy video game playing, manga loving

Otaku culture in Japan? For the affordable Otaku who meets and falls in love with a

price of 10,000 Japanese yen (about 100 US beautiful woman on a train in Akihabara. It is

Dollars) you can spend an evening with the a triumphant story of finding love against all

lovely Anigao Shizuka. odds and I think those Otaku who go in

search of love in "Akiba" can feel a little of

that triumph too if they seek out Anigao

アニメ顔 Shizuka.



To look at her pictures you would think

that Anigao Shizuka was just another of the

秋葉原

sassy two dimensional anime characters that

69

So, you want to know more about the

Anigao Girls? Let's go to Akihabara, the

centre of Otaku culture in Japan; the

sprawling, neon-lit, bustling, electrical epi-

centre of Tokyo, where you can get deals on

anything from the latest Apple i-phone to the

newest X-Box game. Take the Yamanote Line

and get off at Akihabara Station. Make your

way out of the station by way of the Showa

Dori Exit, push your way past the hoards of

nerdy shoppers that swarm around Yodobashi

Camera, take a left and a right up to F1 and

within four minutes you can be standing

outside of Anigao Girls. (See map below.)





花型

On her official website-

www.anigao.com/pc/satsuei.html, where you

can see pictures, watch online videos, order

Cds and DVDs, read her blog, and even book “I am from Kanagawa in Japan. I work in

a photo session, Anigao Shizuka describes an office doing clerical work. I am a little shy

herself as a not-yet 18-year old girl from a with girls. I had dates before. Once I met a

place called Facetown on the planet Anigao. girl in my office who read the same manga as

At only 62 moe tall and weighing in at 777 me. I asked her to go on a date and we went to

kyun, Anigao Shizuka is the perfect size and a game centre in Tokyo. After that she didn't

shape for any Otaku! Her blood type is neither want to go again. Many girls in Japan like

O, nor AB, but... flowers and her favorite manga, but they don't like boys who like

color is pink. She is accomplished in dance, manga. It's a paradox. I first heard about the

both traditional Japanese and the dance of the Anigao Girls from a friend who works in an

idols, she can drive, knit, and, here is one for electrical shop in Akiba. He invited me along

the Otaku; she can play table tennis! But what and we paid 10,000 yen each to spend an

is she really like? evening playing with Anigao ana. We took

photographs and sang Karaoke together. If we

want her to take off her clothes it was another

インタービュー 2500 yen. ow I go about once a month. It

gives me confidence. Some co-workers call me

In Akihabara I met a 23 year old man Otaku, which means nerd in English, but I

called Ozeki Masa. I asked him what the don't care, because I have the Anigao Girls.”

appeal of these manga girls was. This is his

answer: What do Anigao Girls actually do in the

photo session?

70

"They dance around looking cute and sexy. pussycat in front of a camera for a living. I

They can do ordinary everyday things like might date a girl who sang terrible pop songs.

brushing their teeth and combing their hair. I might date a girl who could only

Or they can play role play games with you. I communicate through the written word. I

saw one who did exercise and jump rope once. might even date an alien from another planet.

She wasn't very good. The rope got tangled But I would never, under any circumstances,

and she fell over. Anigao Shizuka has a big date a girl who insisted on wearing a

teddy bear that she likes to cuddle and fiberglass mask so she didn't have to look me

sometimes she wears kitten ears. She is very in the eye. No way. I may have lived as a

cute. They have all different kinds of costumes Gaijin in Japan for the last eleven years, I may

so there are many possibilities. I like the have seen some strange, weird and wonderful

police officer and nurse uniforms." things in that time, and I may be a nerd, but I

still have a hold on reality and my hard earned

Do the Anigao Girls speak? yen.



" o, she doesn't. Much of her

communication is written. If you ask her a

question she will look coy, pull out a marker 将来

pen and write her reply on a large pink card. As I turned to leave I noticed a young

She can even understand English. I haven't couple who had booked a twenty-minute

heard her speak, but she can sing." session with a girl called Anigao Nana. They

looked like a young happy, normal couple; not

in the slightest bit otaku. So what were they

しずかの作品 doing there?

Masa pulled out a copy of Anigao Was I witnessing the future of love and

Shizuka's new JPop CD Onna no ko no dating in Japan? Does a twenty –minute photo

kimochi, "Girl's Feeling", which he had session with a human-anime hybrid give not

purchased for \1,050. The song is run of the only nerdy young twenty-something men, but

mill Japanese Pops with vocals that sound also dating couples the confidence to look

more android than alien. Imagine a cross each other in the eye? Are the Anigao Girls

between Princess Leia and C3PO vocals the Elixir that Japan needs to pull it out of an

backed by the twinkly electro anime sound era of declining birthrates? Or do these

JPops is known for and you will have a good Japanese human-anime hybrids offer the

idea what Girl's Feeling sounds like. Masa world something more?

also showed me a copy of her new White

Figure DVD—a mere \8,000.



Would you date this girl? ﾒﾆｭｰ

1 hour photography session (choice of 1

Masa kindly invited me to join him on his costume): \10,000

next visit to see Anigao Shizuka. I politely Extra costume: \1,000

declined. I might date a girl who played Bring your own costume: \1,500

71

Bikini \2,500

(\10,000 is about 100 dollars) Sucking Bladders



情報 Before Their Fate

I Do For Sure

Offer Then Drink

For more information on Anigao Girls

Until They Are Sloppy

contact:

Slippery, Drunk

Anigao Girls Office And Pissing Down Their Legs

Yugengaisha Mobile Contents

〒160-0008 Tokyo, Shinjuku, Saneicho 8－37

TEL:0120－95－8040 Then I Strike

Email:mobilecontents@almond.ocn.ne.jp Just As They

Head to the Head Again

The Crow Bar’s My Choice

Halloween Beatdown Leaves a Gash Quite Moist

When Delivered Across Skulls



Drac was Talking Smac Before Life Stops

The Werewolf Couldnt Their Bladders I Cut

Taking the Sack, Still Hot

Take Another Crack Its Contents Are Salty

Free Flowing, and Fluid

And I Drink Like a Vacuum Cleaner

He Reached Out

Grabbing Drac by the Throat

Charles Gobi

Smacked Him Across

The Face, Backhanded



The Ghoul Laughed

Shoe Snot

The Mummy Too

They All Shared A Body Tacky, Sticky Goo

After That Toes No Socks Worse

Look Before Poking



-Yocum Degrassi

-Yocum Degrassi

72

Fall '09 Story Prompt 10 until mating peaked and normality returned.

The Tarleel males were all on mandatory

In 1000 words or less, write an erotic fantasy leave until it was over. What use could they

about a group of aliens whose species only be collapsing every ten minutes? What was

mates every twenty years. frustrating was that they were also confined to

areas of the ship where they couldn’t

accidentally injure themselves; areas that the

females didn’t frequent very often.

!!!!WINNER!!!! Varsic got into bed, his thoughts drifting to

fantasies of Zaida. He felt a pleasant shiver

Fainting For Zaida accompany his memory from earlier and he

by Julie Tudyk probably fainted again, but if so, he slept and

didn’t wake until the morning chime.

Varsic recovered from his faint alone in the ***

elevator and all he could think was “Sharn!” The next morning as Varsic headed to the

No witnesses and therefore no rumor to reach lounge he glanced across the garden square

Zaida’s ear. Opportunity lost! and saw Zaida through the haze-screen,

Having two hearts to pound blood as walking down the opposite corridor. She had

forcefully as happened in mating season, a covered up as he’d thought, wearing the

man couldn’t help but pass out. Varsic’s alien special sheer material that masked her

friends could tease him all they wanted, but to luminescent streaking and muted her

a female Tarleel, fainting was highly pheromones so she could function without

desirable; it was the preeminent mark of collecting bodies at her feet.

virility for their species. Male Tarleels were Then Varsic watched as Mirnan, another

too young and never chosen during their first Tarleel, turned the corner and practically ran

mating cycle; now it was finally cycle two and into Zaida, fainting to the floor in mid-stride.

Varsic wasn’t going to miss out. Wait another Zaida didn’t pause but smiled slightly at

20 years? No way. Mirnan as she passed.

“Sharn! Sharn! Sharn!” he cursed as he Varsic felt of rush of jealously. That was

strode to his quarters. Varsic was confident he HIS faint! He’d fainted first! And now Zaida

was the first to faint and Zaida would have would notice Mirnan and not him! He

surely been impressed if the doors hadn’t charged back to his room in a fit of anxiety.

closed so quickly. The hint of the iridescent Was Zaida attracted to Mirnan? Surely not!

streaks she was developing had been enough He couldn’t stand it if she chose Mirnan!

to cause his reaction. Zaida must have just Sharn!

started the change; now she would cover Varsic heard the door chime, but couldn’t

herself to reserve her touch until she chose her pay attention; he had to keep moving.

mate. Varsic felt a little naughty to have “Varsic?”

glimpsed her mating form uninvited, and then Zaida! Varsic’s heart beat double-staccato

had to lean against the corridor when he knees when he realized she was at his door. He

weakened again. turned but barely saw her eyes before he fell.

Varsic swiped his door lock and went When he woke again he was staring at the

inside. It was going to be a long two days door and he wondered if he’d imagined her.

73

“Varsic...” He felt her nude body pressed against his

“Zaida,” he answered. She was here! back. He breathed her scent in deeply and let it

“I’ve closed the door and I’m staying ripple over his nerves. He finally turned to

behind you for a moment, alright? I saw you see her beauty, watching her dark hair

across the garden,” Oof! Did she witness his sweeping around, accenting the deep lavender

fit? She continued with a smile in her voice, of her skin. The luminous swirls unique to her

“and I saw you in the elevator.” body were lovelier than he’d imagined,

She did see his faint! His hearts pounded, shimmering with color, transferring a shadow

but he said “Mirnan fainted for you, too.” version onto his own body to make a matched

“Mirnan was faking,” she said easily. pair, so all would know they were mated.

“How can you know?” he asked, curious. Their bodies twined together and Zaida

He was light-headed with the perfume of her moaned aloud as the sensations flowed

season, even masked. through them; every instant was shared

“Oh, secrets passed from our mothers. between them as they breathed and writhed

Men try it, but we always know.” Zaida came together.

closer and knelt down behind him, continuing, The jokes about fainting would crumble in

“You don’t pretend, you never have.” others’ mouths if they knew what it was to be

Varsic didn’t know how to answer so he a Tarleel. Now mated, their passion would

waited. never fade; their pleasure would always ride

“Try not to faint, Varsic, so I can tell you the brink of impossible intensity; their bodies

something.” Zaida leaned in closer so that he would always breathe and moan and sweat

could feel her breath across his cheek. and merge together so deeply it was eternal

He would, he would try for her. He wanted ecstasy. Every moment, every day, every year

to hear what she said. Her breath was would be stronger and better still. For now,

intoxicating. He turned slightly and caught they savored each other and cried out; they

sight of her bare hand. Thoughts tumbled in had hours still and first mating was the most

his head. She’d uncovered her hand! Did it special.

mean what he hoped? It was the single,

intentional touch that did it, that blended their

chemistries together, cancelling the faint and

-The End

bonding them in passion for all time. Was she

choosing him? He was going to faint.

***

“No,” she whispered, “don’t faint.”

Varsic tried to control himself as her

delicate hand hovered nearby. Then in one Fall '09 Story Prompt 11

motion, she simultaneously caressed his cheek

and brought her lips to his ear, whispering, “I In 1000 words or less, write a horror story in

choose you, Varsic.” which the falling leaves of autumn become

All thought exploded; everything was acidic to human skin.

sensation. The instant of her touch was a

cascade through his body; the most exquisite

and sensual electricity possible, coursing over !!!!WINNER!!!!

and through him, wave after escalating wave.

74

The Grove The grove was roughly oval shaped and

by Ronald Anick maybe a hundred yards deep; a random

collection of oaks, maples and birch trees. As

“That one looks like a fish.” the couple had entered the grove their noses

“That one kinda looks like a teapot.” were instantly filled with the musty, organic

“Where? That one?” scent of wood and loam. Overhead, birds

“No—a little lower and to your right.” gaily twittered and chirped among the limbs,

“That?” creating a soothing background melody.

“Uh-huh.” In the center of the grove stood a huge oak

“That doesn’t even look like a teapot!” with massive limbs and a towering crown of

“Well, it did! Maybe if you hadn’t taken deep-red leaves. There was a break in the

so long—OUCH!” canopy here as the other trees gave the

Stacy Riker gave her boyfriend, Pete Muer, impression of having stepped back to give this

a sharp whack on the shoulder. He laughed giant some reverent space of its own. The

and clutched his arm as if the blow had been ground underneath was an inviting carpet of

extremely painful when they both knew it soft, thick grass. It was here they stretched

hadn’t. Stacy giggled and lay back on the soft out to watch the scattered wisps of clouds as

grass next to Pete. Above their heads a they slowly drifted across the sky.

beautiful tapestry of golds, reds, yellows and “Wow, that’s a pretty one!” Stacy now

oranges spread out in every direction; a sharp said, pointing at a billowy cloud that had come

contrast to the intense blue sky behind this into view.

early fall foliage that had looked so beautiful Pete nodded and put his arm around her.

and inviting from the nearby road that they “It sure is,” he said, but he wasn’t looking at

just had to get out of their car and admire it. the cloud, he was looking at her. He leaned

They’d been heading back home (their over and kissed her ear. With a sigh, Stacy

college was having some sort of in-service closed her eyes and pressed herself closer to

meeting, thus giving them a four-day him.

weekend) and the beautiful fall colors had High overhead a gust of wind swept over

prompted them to take a few back roads. It the grove, causing the limbs to creak and

was here, along a rough and bumpy gravel groan against each other as their leaves

road, they found this little grove of trees. fluttered and twitched. A single blood-red

From the road, the ground made a steep leaf detached itself from the oak and slowly

swoop to the edge of the grove—leveling out drifted toward the ground.

almost at the foot of a huge oak—and had Stacy didn’t notice the leaf as it slowly

Stacy not been looking at the right moment, spiraled toward her arm, but when it finally

they would have missed it completely. The landed her eyes flew open and with a yelp of

sight had looked so beautiful that Pete had pain she tore herself from Pete’s embrace.

instantly pulled the car over (or, at least as far “What the—!” he exclaimed, then he saw

as he dared, given the steep terrain and her arm. They both stared as she held it up.

marginal shoulder)so they could walk down On her forearm was a large, pus-filled blister

and admire what Mother Nature could do with with angry rolled edges that bubbled and

her broad palette. steamed like boiling water. Before their very



75

eyes, more blisters popped up around the hand, but only managed to smear the acid-like

larger one. goo.

“What happened?” Pete shouted. Pete thrashed on the ground next to her—is

“I-I don’t know,” she whimpered. “But it face like frying hamburger where several

really stings, Pete! What if it’s a bug bite or leaves had landed simultaneously. He

something? I need to get to a doc—look!, its couldn’t scream—the acidic fluid had flowed

spreading!” she wailed, and sure enough, into his mouth and was eating through his

where the blisters had popped open, the fluid neck. Soon, his only movement was his

running out was slowly eating into her skin boiling flesh.

like acid, causing more blisters to form. Stacy, still on her knees, gave one more

High overhead, the wind blew harder. strangled scream before she toppled over—the

Several more leaves came loose from the oak acid had eaten through her spinal cord—where

and sailed through the air toward the young she lay wide-eyed, trying to gulp air like a fish

lovers. into her paralyzed lungs.

“C’mon,” said Pete, taking her hand. More leaves drifted down and soon

“We’ll go and—AAHHHHH!” He clapped covered the young couple, whose remains

his hand to the side of his neck where a leaf were slowly soaking into the soft ground of

had landed. When he pulled his hand away, the lonely grove.

part of the liquefied skin stuck to his hand like

taffy while the flesh of his neck turned gooey

and drippy.

“Oh, my God, it’s . . it’s eating my hand! -The End

It’s eating my hand!”

Stacy screamed and clamped her hands to ***

her head as a leaf drifted into her golden hair,

which immediately began to smoke and hiss. Fall '09 Story Prompt 12

Small clumps fell out as she desperately tried

to stop the aching, sizzling sting that seemed

to be enveloping her entire head.

“Stacy! My—my hand!” screamed Pete. In 1000 words or less, write a sci fi tale of a

“It ate my hand!” he staggered backward and scientist who creates a completely internal

fell, clutching his wrist which was now a mechanical heart, and how it changes the

beefy mass of roiling flesh and melted bone— world.

his hand was entirely gone.

Stacy fell to her knees as part of her scalp

slid greasily onto the ground, revealing a !!!!WINNER!!!!

shiny patch of dull-white skull. She screamed

again as another leaf landed on her back and

instantly ate through her shirt into her flesh.

THERE WAS NO WINNING ENTRY

She tried to reach the spot with her melting

FOR STORY PROMPT # 12





76

New Prompts

View Larger Image Online





Winter '10 Prompt 15:



In 1000 words or less, write a dark fantasy tale in which the word(s) below appear in the first

and last sentence of the story. The story must be told from the point of view of a four year old

girl, who has bad teeth.



"huge dead skunk"



***



Winter '10 Prompt 14:



In 1000 words or less, write a horror tale based on the picture below.









***



Winter '10 Prompt 13:



In 1000 words or less, write a sci fi tale based on the picture below.









77

78

The Radiator Burped that okay if I put down an "I'll need references, and

by Abra Staffin Wiebe extra deposit? The place we should meet." Eric paused

sounds fine and so do you. to think of a good time.





E ric chewed on his

pencil as he re-

wrote his ad. GPM

seeks /S housemate(s) for

spacious two-bedroom . . . but

You know, if you're lucky I

might even bring a hamster."

"Beep. Uh, man, you're,

like, cool with, y'know, stuff

and all, right? I mean, like,

"Oh." The voice sounded

disappointed. "I don't have

time for at least a week, and

I'd hoped to move in sooner. I

met your friend Robert Ganic

he didn't want a pair of you know that some at an art exhibit; he suggested

newlyweds. If he wanted legislation should be, uh, that I talk to you."

cooing doves, he could have altered, but it hasn't been yet. Eric thought of his unpaid

gotten them from his second- So sometimes stuff that bills.

to-last boyfriend, the pet store shouldn't be is illegal. It's "I'll give him a call. If he

owner. cool, right? And I can always recommended you, though, it

Uniquely decorated . . . pay rent, man. Truth. Um. I should be all right." He

because his third-to-last have, like, a lot of friends, but paused. This seemed too

boyfriend had wanted to be an I can keep them from good to be true. "Do you have

interior decorator and had smoking cigarettes. I know a hamster?" he asked

thought that psychedelic you said non-smoking in your tentatively.

flower wallpaper best ad, but that's cool, okay?" "No. . . . Should I? I can

expressed Eric's artistic So when the phone rang, find one."

personality. Add in Eric's Eric didn't grab it as quickly "No, no hamsters!" Eric

practice of displaying his as he had a couple of days laughed. "That's fine. When

paintings in progress, and ago. do you want to move in? I

sometimes the apartment "Hello?" he said dully. work until nine tomorrow. Do

hosted kaleidoscopic clashes "Hello. This is the place you have the evening open?"

of color and style. that has a room to let, correct? "No, the only time I have

Fully furnished apt. with Uniquely decorated, spacious, free for moving is the

washer/dryer . . . though the fully furnished?" asked a afternoon."

dryer had a tendency to shrink voice with just a hint of an "I should really be here to

laundry, especially expensive oriental accent. meet you--"

shirts, which was the final "Yeeess," Eric said slowly. "I hope we can sort out

straw for his last boyfriend, "Excellent! My name is this moving arrangement,"

and the reason Eric couldn't Tsang Lung. It sounds like Tsang Lung said. "My

pay rent. exactly what I'm looking for, schedule was a large part of

None of the respondents to and I really like the my problems with previous

his last ad had seemed quite neighborhood. I keep odd housemates. They wanted to

right . . . in the head. hours, but I won't be any see me around more and I just

"Hi! This is Eric. Please bother. I'll practically be wasn't. I want to make this

leave a message after the invisible." A hint of mischief work," Tsang said regretfully,

beep." flavored the caller's voice. "but if moving tomorrow

"Beep. I have two cats, a morning isn't acceptable. . . ."

ferret, and a bunny-rabbit. Is

79

Eric thought of rent due. Michael was the best- right?" Michael asked. "Here,

"Well . . . okay. I'll leave the looking and best-groomed give me your address."

keys downstairs with Mrs. lawyer working for Wells &

McGordon. She's a little hard Benson, but the last time Eric #

of hearing, so knock loudly. If had flirted with a well-

she's watching her soaps with groomed man, he was nearly "Mrs. McGordon, what do

the volume turned up, open sued for sexual harassment. you mean, he didn't pick up

the door and shout to get her "I thought you had a the keys?" Eric shouted over

attention. Don't worry, she's housemate," Michael said. the blast of the television.

the sweetest little old lady in "My boyfriend left me." "Oh, lord, that no-good

the world. And . . . I guess I'll Eric looked away. "This guy hussy stole it! He shouldn't

meet you tomorrow!" sounds nice, but I don't know have told her about the safe

anything about him." deposit box. For a brain

# Michael looked concerned. surgeon, he's awfully straw-

"They don't pay you enough witted sometimes! Now she's

Concentrating on his work here? He might be an axe- going to find her sister's

the next morning was murderer!" uvula--or do I mean

impossible for Eric. What if "Well, my boyfriend medulla?--pickled in

he'd just agreed to room with refused to pay last month's formaldehyde inside one of

a psycho? He called Robert, rent." Eric shrugged. "What their mother's old jam jars. . .

but only the answering can I do?" ."

machine picked up. "How about having dinner "Who are you talking

Thankfully, the paralegal with me?" Michael asked. "It about?" Eric asked

temp job, which Eric was sounds like you could use a tentatively.

working at to pay his bills break." "That peroxide-blonde and

until he sold enough paintings Eric choked on his collagen-pumped girl on 'As

to support him for a while, sandwich. "Uh, that would be the Small World Turns After

didn't require much attention. great! After I check that All', of course!" Mrs.

He was glumly eating his Tsang's settled in, we could McGordon explained, in

lunch when Michael Imusphal go out." A blush crawled up grand disregard of her own

leaned on his cubicle door. Eric's neck. nature-defying locks. "Why?"

"Mayonnaise and peanut This man, whom he'd Eric sighed. "My new

butter sandwich?" Michael admired from afar for months, housemate, Mrs. McGordon. I

asked, cocking his eyebrow was asking him on a date. gave you the other key for

curiously. "And my mother He realized he'd been quiet him this morning before I left

said I was strange! Little did too long and pasted on for work, during 'Dark Love.'

she know. . . ." nervous smile. He was going to pick them up

"It was supposed to be "That's great," he managed and move in today while I

jelly. I'm just kind of out of it to repeat. was away. His name is Tsang

. . . my new housemate's "I know this little Italian Lung."

moving in today, and I haven't place that makes meatball "I remember! He must

even met the guy," Eric subs to die for, and it's not far have picked it up, though I

stammered. from where you live--uptown, sure didn't see him. I set it on

80

the lamp table, and it them tomorrow late to go out, but I did pick

disappeared between 'Twisted evening. Michael called up a nice bottle of burgundy.

Sunrise' and 'The Escapees to say he would be late If you have some spaghetti

and the Incarcerated'!" tonight. He sounded a and sauce, we could

Eric walked up to his bit arrogant. Ignore improvise." Michael smiled.

apartment at a brisk pace. any strange noises you "Next time I'll do better. Hey,

Michael was right; he may hear coming from those are some pretty fine

shouldn't have let a stranger my room as I get pictures. You paint, right?

move in, no matter how thin settled. Are they yours?"

his wallet was. He should Enjoy your date, Eric shuffled his feet.

have at least met him first. Tsang "Yeah."

Eric tried the door Eric frowned. Why was Michael's smile vanished.

handle of his apartment, but it Tsang concerning himself "Do you have a pet snake?"

was locked. Maybe Mrs. with Eric's dating habits? It Eric blinked. "No. Why?"

McGordon had just put the was creepy. His eyes strayed "I thought for a second

key in one of her china knick- to the check. He thought of that I saw something scaly in

knacks for safekeeping and the Oriental accent he'd heard the corner . . . my eyes must

forgotten about it. He fished in Tsang's voice. Maybe be tired from looking at legal

out his keys. Tsang was used to a culture contracts. Never mind."

"Hello? Tsang, are you without much expectation of Despite his words, Michael

in?" he called tentatively as privacy. At least Eric didn't squinted at the corner.

he opened the door, feeling have to worry about paying "Why don't you go

silly. the rent alone this month. rummage in the kitchen while

Nothing seemed to have I clean up?" Eric said.

changed until he stopped at # In the bathroom, Eric

the table in the dining area washed his face and applied

and found an envelope Four hours later, Eric was gel to smooth his hair down.

labeled, in elegant script, jerked awake by a knock on He stared at his reflection in

"Eric Lowerton." Opening it, the door. the mirror. Michael's reason

he found a welcome check "Tsang!" he began, for being late didn't ring true.

and a note. opening the door. He stopped As far as he knew, there

Eric, when he realized that he was wasn't any ongoing Benson &

I'm sorry I couldn't looking at Michael. "Michael, Wells project that needed

meet you, but as you sorry. I thought you were my overtime. Well, maybe

know, my schedule is housemate coming back. I Michael would talk about it

erratic. I have enclosed still haven't met him. Excuse over dinner.

the monies for my me, I was just taking a nap." A thump from the kitchen

deposit and rent. The He ran a hand through his derailed Eric's train of

décor is charming. I rumpled hair. thought.

love the paintings. I've "I had to work longer than "Michael?" he called. "Are

ordered groceries-- expected," Michael explained you rummaging in my kitchen

there will be a check on as he tossed his coat onto the or destroying it?"

the table to pay for couch. "Forgive me? It's too No answer came.

81

"Michael?" Eric asked, to him. Her lipstick-pink behind her back, but they

stepping into the hallway. mouth puckered with mingled don't know who with. I think

He heard something delight and horror. that he was flirting with that

scrabbling away. When he "What?" Eric asked. "Are little redhead temp!"

looked in the kitchen, it was the rats back?" He looked Wife? Eric took a large

abandoned except for a box of around nervously. The last swallow of coffee and choked

spaghetti spilled across the time he saw this kind of a when it burned his tongue. No

floor. crowd in the office was when wonder he hadn't been able to

"Michael!" he shouted. Wells & Benson tried to stiff tell if Michael was gay.

He ran into the living the exterminator, pointing out "Why are the police here?

room. Michael's coat was a minute clause (Section 3, This sounds like a divorce

gone and the door hung ajar. Paragraph A, Subheading 2) lawyer's job."

"What the--?" Eric shook to justify not remitting the full "Oh, no," Maureen

his head. He closed the door. balance on the bill. That was explained. "They were very

Tomorrow, Michael better a mistake. Although the entire happy together--well, except

have one hell of an office did get the rest of the that she thought he might be

explanation. week off, with paid leave. cheating." She leaned

For now, sleep sounded "Nooo," Maureen said, forward. "He didn't come into

like a better option than trying coyly waving a chartreuse- the office last night, and he

to figure out what the hell was tipped finger at him. The tiny didn't come into work this

going on. crow's-feet around her eyes morning either." She lowered

Eric turned around and crinkled with her enjoyment. her voice. "His wife is related

headed towards his bed. He resigned himself to to important people, which is

Behind him, the radiator worming the news out of her. why it's being investigated

emitted a delicate burp. "Obviously you've heard already." She giggled.

what's going on--come on, "They're going to ask all sorts

# won't you tell me?" of questions!" Her eyes

"Well!" she exclaimed. gleamed.

The next morning, Eric "Michael went home at his Eric left the office without

headed over to Michael's usual time yesterday." Eric even bothering to tell his

office, determined to ask him began to frown. "Mrs. manager that he was taking

what was going on. Imusphal says that he the rest of the day off.

If Michael was with a remembered he'd left He had to destroy the

client, Eric would wait important work in the office evidence that Michael had

outside. In a nonchalant, I'm- that needed to get done that visited him. That bottle of

not-stalking-anyone-officer night. But he never went wine. . . . Drinking, Eric

sort of way. home again!" mused, was undoubtedly the

Eric took a deep breath, "Mrs. Imusphal?" Eric best way to destroy liquid

turned the corner, and walked asked. "His mother?" evidence. Just thinking about

into a rubbernecking gaggle "No." Maureen frowned at it, he felt a thirst coming on.

of his co-workers. him. "His wife, of course. The

"It's such a terrible shock, police think that he might #

isn't it?" Maureen whispered have been sneaking around

82

Half an hour later, Eric appeared. He picked up the

was still thirsty. He stared at Eric surveyed the almost- orange, fizzy drink, took a

the door of his apartment deserted bar. Most people healthy swallow, and choked.

building. He couldn't make were still at work. An "You weren't joking!"

himself go in. What if attractive, well-dressed man Marty grinned.

Michael--or his corpse--had glanced briefly at Eric before Eric glanced at the

never made it out? returning his gaze to the handsome stranger. "Hey,

He didn't even know if his mirrored wall. Marty, there is something you

apartment was empty. Tsang The bartender, seeing Eric can do. I really, really don't

could be there, or he could be enter, moved down the bar. feel like going back alone

in China for all Eric knew. Or "Hey, Marty," Eric tonight. What do you know

he could be there but pretend muttered. "How's it going?" about that guy?"

not to be. Maybe Michael had "Well," Marty looked at "Sorry. He's only been

been right when he said that Eric, "better for me than it is here a few times." Marty

Tsang might be an axe for you. You look like hell. shrugged. "Mostly he just

murderer. Eric didn't really Did you get fired? You're still stares straight ahead and

know anything about the guy. wearing the 9-to-5 disguise," drinks. I don't think he's

What had he gotten himself he said, indicating Eric's suit. seeing anyone, so try your

into? "It's been a long couple of luck. Don't take it personally

If he called the police, they days." Eric sighed. "Alain if he just ignores you, though.

might think he was an stiffed me on rent." Tell you what." He winked.

accomplice. Maybe, they "That fink." Humor leaked "I'll top up his drink. That

would say, he trolled for the into Marty's voice. "He was should help his decision-

victims, luring them back to such a clotheshorse. Are you making!"

his apartment. all right for cash? If it was For a while, Eric covertly

His thirst tripled. It was really necessary, I could studied the silent stranger.

the middle of the day, but he extend your bar tab. I'd take The man gave no signals of

wanted to drink until he found one of your paintings as interest or repulsion. It was as

his courage or someone else collateral. I've had my eye on if he didn't realize Eric was

to be his courage. He was the one with two pretty even there. Then the man

going to go to his favorite gay twinks sprouting fairy wings." downed his drink, nodded his

bar, and he was going to get "That's the least of my head decisively to his

plastered. And then he was problems, but thanks anyway. reflection, and strode towards

going to go home with a I appreciate it, I really do. No, Eric.

witness/bodyguard and get I got a new renter, sight Eric glanced over at Marty

Tsang to drink with them unseen." and got an I-told-you-so look.

until, in his cups, Tsang Marty raised his eyebrows. He smiled, feeling the warm

confessed everything. "That's good." glow of alcohol, and turned to

Well, the getting drunk "Yeah," Eric said bitterly. greet the approaching

part of it sounded like a good "Make me a drink." stranger.

idea, at least. "I'll make it a stiff one." "Hey," he said. "Slow in

"Right." Eric stared at the here during the day, isn't it?"

# counter until his salvation Eric could have kicked

83

himself. As an opening line, it unknown was Todd. Eric window and tapping his

definitely lacked that certain looked at him again. fingers against his leg.

something. "I need to take care of "Let's go." Eric smiled.

"Hello." The stranger something at my apartment, "This way."

flashed his pearly whites. but I would love to spend Todd reached out and

"My name's Todd. I haven't some time with you. Want to brushed his reflection with his

seen you around here before, come along?" Eric asked. The fingertips before he turned

but then I'm new in town thought of going back to his and followed.

myself." apartment alone gave him the

"Yeah?" Eric said. "What chills. "I have a good bottle of #

do you do?" red wine that needs drinking,"

"I'm an actor. My agent's he added. When they arrived, Eric

working on getting me a gig. I Todd cheered up at the braced himself for gory

moved from Los Angeles. mention of wine. "Why not? organs, mangled bodies, or at

Thought the slower pace Maybe I'm too much a least a few gallons of blood.

would make a nice change. creature of habit. It'll do me Instead, everything

People know my face; I can good to get out. seemed normal: Michael's

do that," he said aggressively. "I'd like that bottle of wine bottle of wine was still on the

Right. "So where'd you you mentioned before I sober table, but fresh groceries had

move to?" up. We can drink it, you can been put away in the fridge.

"I bought a house near give me the grand tour, and Maybe, he thought, he should

Cathedral Hill. You should then. . . ." Todd winked at check to see if Mrs.

see it--it's great. The Eric's reflection in the mirror, McGordon had succumbed to

bedroom," Todd leaned stood up, and headed to the a fate as dramatic as any of

forward and lowered his door. her soaps.

voice, "has a mirrored That was weird. Eric "Not bad." Todd nodded,

ceiling." He smiled. stared at his reflection and lifting the wine.

"Ah." Eric took another then shook himself. What was "Corkscrew?"

swallow of alcohol to mask he thinking of to let this one "Let's save it," Eric

his reaction. "How get away? Attractive, suggested. "Remember the

convenient. I'm Eric. Nice to apparently intelligent, and tour? We can talk, hang out . .

meet you." able to support himself. He . drink later. The afternoon is

"I'm sure," Todd said. shouldn't allow whatever had ours." He tried to sound at

"Hey, it's the middle of the happened with Michael to ease, but his nerves still

afternoon. I don't have shake him. jangled. "Let me just take a

anything else to do. Would "All we have to fear is fear quick look around first."

you like a tour of my new itself, right?" he asked his When Eric returned from

place?" drink as he rose unsteadily checking the apartment, Todd

Eric was tempted. A from his bar stool. was staring at his reflection, a

stranger's house, a place Outside, Todd was waiting strange look on his face.

where he wouldn't have to impatiently, glancing at his "Make the tour quick," he

worry about his housemate, a reflection in the one-way said.

place where the only

84

Eric glanced at the mirror. "And you expect me to insisted), Eric edged towards

It looked normal to him. function?! You . . . you think the bedroom, his hands

"Sure." that you are enough?" clenched white-knuckled

He gave Todd the "What are you talking around the neck of the wine

abbreviated tour. Despite about?" bottle.

Todd's silence, he gradually "People," Todd said, He paused outside the

relaxed . . . until they passed backing Eric into the corner, bedroom door, closed his

Tsang's doorway. "are disgusting. Even with so eyes, whipped around the

Sniffing, Todd asked, "Do much alcohol in me that I corner, and looked. There was

you smell something can't walk straight, I know a fresh dent in the wood floor.

strange?" that! You are all . . . crippled A broken compact mirror

Eric's heart clenched. and grotesque. Women are lay in the center of the dent,

"Something . . . decaying worse. They're swollen and the kind a vain man might

and moist?" he managed. off-balance. I don't know how keep in his back pocket.

"No. Some kind of they can walk. Their little The mirror was the only

incense, I think. . . ." voices are so shrill! And they sign of Todd.

"Oh!" Eric gasped. "Never flaunt it--they flaunt their "That's it," Eric said.

mind that." deformities!" "That's all I can take." He

He quickly moved on to He looked Eric in the eyes backed out of the room and

the next part of the tour. for the first time. "I know collapsed on the living room

"The bedroom." He why you want me," he said couch. When he felt a strange

gestured with a flourish, softly. "I understand. But lump underneath the cushion,

indicating that Todd should considering my sacrifice, you he just shifted a little until it

precede him. should bring the mirrors and went away. He hefted the

Todd surveyed the room. the booze in here." wine bottle.

His hands clenched into fists. "No!" Eric said. He looked He would drink until the

Alarmed, Eric stepped back, at Todd, standing there hallucinations went away. If

watching a wave of red rise radiating valor and reason . . . there were any corpses lying

up the back of Todd's neck. and madness. "I--" he began. around, they'd better

"What's wrong?" He shook his head and disappear, too. No way the

"You . . . have . . . no . . . stormed out to the living cops would believe he didn't

mirrors!" Todd shouted. room. "Some of my best know anything about two

"Not in the bedroom. . . ." friends are women!" he disappearances. "He must

Eric said, backing up. Most shouted, grabbing the bottle have just up and snapped,"

visitors' first reaction was to from the table. "Get out and they'd say. "One of those

comment on the erotic frieze take the wine with--" A low unstable artistic types, you

Eric had painted on the rumble interrupted him. know."

headboard. Suddenly, the "What the . . . ?" he said, Things were weird enough

nebulous threat of a psychotic turning towards the bedroom. already that the alcohol

housemate didn't seem so He heard something smash to couldn't make it any worse,

important. the floor. he decided, so he lifted the

After a moment of silence bottle and started drinking,

(dead silence, his mind

85

determined to . . . destroy the the cushions. It coalesced into Come to think of it, hadn't he

evidence. Yeah, that was it. bright scales and claws, seen some sort of book about

Three-quarters of the antlers and tail, and large, Asian myths sitting on the

bottle of wine later, he started glowing red eyes. counter? He crossed the

talking. "Maybe you--whoev'r "You deserve better," street.

and wherev'r y'are--did me a Tsang said. "I'll make sure "Roast and mix?" the

fav'r. Tha' was one fu'd-up that you find . . . a treasure of counterman asked, his dark

guy! So . . . thanks! Michael, a man." He nearly purred at eyes alert.

though . . . he mighta been the idea of treasure. "What's best?"

married but I don' think he "Oh, no. . . ." The counterman laughed.

deserved to be killed. An' no Eric closed his eyes and "Coffee black as the devil, hot

more," he gesticulated, spun into darkness. The earth as hell, pure as an angel, and

"mashacring my gueshts . . . trembled around him as he sweet as love." He saw the

'less they really deserve it," he spilled into uneasy dreams of confusion on Eric's face. "I

mumbled. "Jus' that one guy a draconian dating service, can't claim credit for that.

mebbe deserved it. So where those who failed were Talleyrand came up with it,"

thanksh . . . " he slurred, "jus' hurled into the mouth of a he explained.

this once . . . ." volcano with glowing red "Sounds great. Do they

"You're welcome," he eyes. teach all coffee shop workers

heard. At the same time, he French history, or philosophy,

felt warm breath brush his ear. # or whatever that was?" Eric

"Agh!" he screamed, asked, attempting to banter.

batting frantically at his ears. Eric's eyelids were glued "Nah, though it's probably

He fell off the couch onto the shut, his brain ached, and his more useful than what I am

floor and froze. The living usually blissful bed was studying." He grinned. "I

room spun, but he held still. singularly uncomfortable. He figure I'll eventually have a

He couldn't see anyone. He'd stared at the ceiling for a few nice diploma, but I'll still

recognized the voice, though. minutes; then he sat bolt work in a coffee shop."

"Tsang?" he asked. His upright and looked around "What are you studying?"

voice sounded calm, the small wildly. Eric asked, trying to hide his

part of his mind that was still "I've got to get out of intense interest in the answer.

sober noted. The rest of his here!" "I'm doing postgrad

mind was busy gibbering in When he stepped outside, studies on Chinese mythology

the corner. "Where are you?" the sunlight speared his eyes. and philosophy," the

He tried to look everywhere Shielding them, he stared counterman said, tapping the

at once without moving his around him. It all looked so cover of a textbook sitting on

head. The ceiling spun above normal, right down to the the counter. "It's really quite

him. coffee shop across the street. complicated. That's where the

The air thickened over the Coffee would help him feel coffee comes in!" he joked.

couch. Panicked, he scuttled better. So would the cute Eric didn't answer. He

away on all fours. The fog counterman he'd never was staring at the textbook.

coiled around the arms of the worked up the nerve to chat Its cover was a painting that

couch and draped itself over up. What did he have to lose? looked just like the

86

hallucination he'd had "I want to go back to your "Thanks," Eric said,

yesterday. apartment with you," was the shrugging it off. "Come on,

"Why don't you go sit first thing he said after Eric I'm going to look in his . . . its

down?" the counterman finished speaking. room. I'm not going to wait

suggested. "You don't look so "Absolutely not!" Eric until the neighbors start

great. I'll bring you your said, shocked. "Haven't you complaining about the smell."

coffee in a few minutes." heard anything I just said? The air in Tsang's room

"Thanks--Matt," Eric said, Just because you aren't . . . smelled like smoke. After

leaning forward and reading aren't interested in me like what he'd seen last night, Eric

his nametag, which labeled that doesn't mean you aren't in wouldn't have been surprised

him as Matt Achine, an danger if you visit me! For all to see sentient fog coiling

employee of Coffee World, I know, it snacked on a couple around the room. But all he

and always happy to serve. of door-to-door salesmen saw was a mostly empty room

too!" with a large mound of

Eric slumped into a chair. "Eric," Matt said. "This is bedding that had been

The promised few minutes my only chance for live pounded into a comfortable

later, Matt set down his research. Even if I can't nest. Moving closer, Eric

coffee. Eric noticed dully how publish, it could inform my spotted something nestling in

easily his long fingers whole course of study! the tangle of blankets. He

handled the cup. If he wasn't Besides," he slid his hand reached down and picked up a

certain his love-life was across the table, "who said I nearly translucent scale as

doomed, he would have been wasn't interested?" wide across as his thumb. It

interested in Matt--asked him shimmered in the light when

out for a cup of coffee, # he turned to Matt.

maybe. "Wow," Matt breathed.

"Could I see that textbook, Eric paused in front of his "Can I have it? I don't think

please?" he asked. door, unwilling to go in until the dragon will mind--

"Sure," Matt said. He he turned and saw Matt Chinese dragons are generally

brought back the book and sat watching him clinically. benevolent, at least according

down, uninvited, across from "You're not here to study to the legends. They guard

Eric. "But why is it so me," Eric said. "Let's get on wisdom, and treasure . . . and

important? It's only with it. Maybe you can help good luck. I'd like to have this

mythology." me dispose of any--remains-- as proof, at least to myself,

Eric looked at him over we might find." that what I study is real."

the top of the book. Inside the apartment "Sure," Eric said sourly. "I

"I wish it was only everything seemed normal, don't think I need or want

mythology." but that meant nothing. Matt more proof! And there

Matt leaned forward, his moved to study the paintings certainly isn't a hoard here!"

eyes gleaming. Through hung on the walls. "Wow," he He gestured to the nest.

persistence and a string of said. "These are really good. I "Unless he collects pillows."

well-informed questions, he mean it. You've got some "I never said the dragon

heard the whole story. serious talent." considered a thing to be its

treasure." Matt met Eric's

87

eyes. "Having seen your to show one's hoard to a lady-

paintings, I can understand." friend. I think she will pace so dark

"What? No. Oh, no." approve." cannot

"It's natural for a dragon to Eric buried his face in his breath

protect its hoard. However, hands, but in truth, he didn't

since I'm not threatening it-- feel half bad . . . and he had a lackness

you--I should be fine." date! ark

Eric groaned. old

"Come on, this is great!"

risp

Matt enthused, his earlier

trepidation vanishing. "I have -The End y walk

to go back to work, but could ed

we get together sometime? e

We don't even have to talk

AbrA StAffin Wiebe… here

about the, er, dragon part.

hAS hAd StorieS Accepted

Maybe we could go to a by SeverAl publicAtionS Tether

movie?" including Art timeS, dArk Taunt

"You've survived this krypt horror Zine,

Allegory, And AlienSkin rittle

long," Eric said, a smile mAgAZine. he mAintAinS napped

starting to creep over his face, ASWiebe'S mArket liSt, A

"maybe you can last another reSource for Science ree fall

fiction, fAntASy, And

date." horror Writing mArketS. n

After Matt left, Eric sank And AlSo runS the pace

down on the couch. AnnuAl Spec the hAllS

conteSt for Winter- ow

"He actually got out themed fiction.

alive," he mused aloud. "Well, ir only

I guess that blows my theory or

that you were jealous!" Strange, Weird, and Wonderful

Magazine Ten

The television in the ore

&

corner twitched its tail. A pair

Strangeweirdandwonderful.com

of bright red eyes burned out oodbye

of the painted wall, next to a ky

…needs your help. We are a free small web

bird-of-paradise garland. zine and as writers ourselves, we feel that ark

every Writer and Artist deserves to be paid

"I think not!" Tsang said for their work. lack

with dignity. "I have a lady Our payments must be considered as a

friend. Perhaps," he added, as token, but this expense, along with the cost

of keeping our site up and running are

wait

rows of viciously sharp ivory indeed expenses. Our ads help, but don’t or

come close to helping us simply break even.

teeth curved into a grin, "I Those interested in donating the monetary ast

will bring her home to meet amount of their choosing can do so thru breath

PayPal account:

you."

strangeweirdandwonderful@strangeweirda

The dragon vanished, but ndwonderful.com

after a minute the radiator boris oakfield

whispered, "It is entertaining

88

Mr. Yoop’s Soup by Michael D. Turner,

another tale with a dark side tells of a giant

who terrorizes the little people of Oz; grizzly

details in this very well written tale.





The China People of Oz by T. L. Barrett is a

magnificent story of a dying little girls wish to

go to Oz and her grieving parents aren’t

about to tell her she can’t. Great Story!





One Wicked Day by Frank Dutkiewicz is a tale

of one materialistic Wicked Witch’s very bad

day. A sister, all too eager to stab her in the

back, a group of Munchkins who refuse to

perform the duties they have signed a

contract to perform, the Good Witch who

keeps egging them on, and a farmhouse

falling from the sky and killing her dead.

Frank Dutkiewicz give us a detailed look at the

events which led to Dorothy coming into

possession of the Red Slippers. One of the

best tales of Dark Fantasy I’ve read this year!







S hadows of the Emerald City is a

delightful collection of tales based on

the writings of L. Frank Baum and The

Wizard of Oz. The collection from Northern

As an anthology Shadows of the Emerald City,

takes an American classic and breaks it down

in a way that rounds out the world of Oz,

which L. Frank Baum would be proud of.

Frights Publishing, is edited by JW Schnarr, These stories, like Baum’s original works are

and contains works from 20 talented Dark much darker and sinister than Hollywood’s

Fantasy writers. version and this in a good thing.

Pumpkinhead by Rajan Khanna is a dark tale

To learn more about Shadows of the Emerald

of a being whose assistant finds herself in a

City visit

battle against time, rot, and the risk of playing

www.northernfrightspublishing.webs.com

with magic, no matter how great the

loneliness becomes. The story was much

Remember, it’s up to us to support the

scarier than I expected.

Small press….



89

90

Lunatic put all operator candidates “Now look at that!” he

by Regina Glei through, that was when you said with pride quivering in

had to get familiar with his voice, as he pointed at his

“Are you type A or B?” rubber or fail. Many gave up nameplate over the helmet.

Dustin asked Jabria eagerly. during the four weeks of The nameplate said Dustin

Everyone at Lunamine water tank training. It wasn’t Sears, and next to his plate

knew this question referred to only the uncomfortable was hers: Jabria Dexter.

the two types of moon-robo rubber suit; the physical strain She liked training the

operators: the ones happy to and the enormous patience newbies. They were a pain in

stay on earth and the ones required were the real the neck and some even

who dreamed about going to challenge. Those who stayed managed to damage things in

the moon. on like Dustin had already their enthusiasm, just as she

Jabria grinned at his proven he or she wasn’t had done. But she liked

typical rookie question. completely useless. teaching; the satisfaction to

“You’ll find out soon Calm and with often- see her pupils become top

enough.” practiced movements, she got operators was a great reward.

“Oh come on, tell me.” into the body suit, noticing “Don’t screw up, or your

“What’s your type?” Dustin’s stare at her features. nameplate will be gone

“B of course! I wanna go She had nothing to hide tomorrow,” she said and

to the moon as soon as though and grinned inwardly. patted his shoulder.

possible!” He didn’t look too bad in his “Of course I won’t screw

“Good luck!” was what underwear either. up!”

she said and ‘Oh dear, a One could discern the old She grinned at the tone in

hothead,’ was what she hands from the rookies by his voice. Failure was

thought. She would have to listening to how they put their impossible in the rookies’

watch out that he didn’t create suits on. With the rookies, the minds but right around the

a catastrophe with his suit smacked and squeaked corner.

enthusiasm as she had done and they even let the rubber Jabria checked who

during her first on-site hours. painfully snap at times. was working that day and

She grinned to herself as she When she put her suit on, raised a brow as she noticed

geared up and was both, there wasn’t a sound. that Lars Wayne’s gloves and

embarrassed and amused by Dustin stumbled after her helmet didn’t hang on the

the memory; relieved that she into the main hangar, their rack. She looked out into the

was finally able to smile working place: a huge hall hall and saw him at the far

about her first day at work. with nothing much inside end. She stared at him for a

Every experienced moon- except helmets and gloves moment. He hadn’t been well

robo operator had a hanging from hooks at the these days.

gearing-up-routine--a walls. Five other operators Every three months the

necessary detail to make sure already worked and were moon-robo operators could

you stayed comfortable in scattered throughout the hall. apply for transfer to the

rubber. She shuddered as she Dustin’s cheeks glowed moon. They were allowed to

remembered the endless hours rosily as he discovered his apply ten times. He had

of underwater training they helmet and gloves.

91

applied ten times and never “Start session, code Dustin’s two-ton black

made it. 4762...whew!” he shouted so robot hopped around like an

She had told him so often loud that she couldn’t help the Easter bunny in the low

that he shouldn’t apply every reflex to reach for her ears, gravity.

round. Most of the robo only to realize she wore a Jabria’s robot stood a few

operators were going to the helmet. meters away from Dustin’s,

Moon only after about four # not moving a finger. The

years of service on Earth. They stood somewhere on robots were more than two

Only the very best managed the dusty plain of Mare meters tall and had human

to get transferred after two Tranquillitatis. Lunamine’s proportions but longer arms

and a half years and he had habitat was located to their and big feet, which gave the

never been one of them. Lars left and to their right they saw operator more stability. One

was eager--a Dustin type--but several mining bulldozers had to walk with bended arms

not brilliant. guided by the moon-robos, to avoid scraping the robot’s

Now Lars could no longer whose operators worked hands on the ground. The

apply and radiated down on earth in the hangar. hands were human-like,

disappointment. He had Jabria smiled the first few though theirs was much

made a mistake three shifts moments of every shift. Their stronger than any human grip.

ago that had almost stalled his job was dull. They operated #

unit, unit 6, which had some the robots that commanded The feeling of “being” on

glitches recently anyway. the bulldozers and the dozers the moon almost knocked

Lars had received a did nothing but heat up the Dustin off his feet. Although

warning and had paused for moon’s surface, collect dust he still stood in the hangar on

two shifts, now he was back. and pre-filter it for the “new earth, it was as if he “felt” the

Jabria had thought the gold” as everyone called it: lower gravity and “saw” the

management would make him Helium 3, that powered mining field, the gray dust of

pause a bit longer. But then fusion reactors down on earth. the moon and the sharp

again, time was money and The bulldozers separated contrasts between light and

they were short on operators. the “wheat from the chaff” shadow. He had never

They were always short on and brought the raw product expected it to be so real. The

something--time, money, to the refinery next to the simulation in the water tank

people, experience, patience-- habitat where the “new gold” had been, well, a simulation,

you name it. was prepared for shipment to but this was close to actually

Jabria and Dustin put their an energy-hungry earth. being there.

gloves on and she led him a The robo operators were His brain was linked to the

few meters away from the simply miners and the people robot’s visual, sensory and

wall, keeping a distance from living in the habitat were motor functions systems. He

the other operators. mechanics. It was what they was the robot and the robot

“Well then, let’s go!” she mined and where they mined walked on the moon.

said. it that made the difference. “Not so high!” Jabria

More than eagerly Dustin Their mine was on the moon shouted and the sharpness of

put his helmet on. and some of them were her voice almost made him

allowed to actually live there. stumble. He tried to slow

92

down and the feeling was see a bit of Siberia under the equipment and, in the worst

nauseating. It was worse than clouds. case, people with their larger

in the water tank. Water Tears shot to his eyes. reach.”

created a floating sensation This was more than beautiful “Got it. I’ll be careful.”

but it also provided and he prayed that one day he “Tell me immediately

resistance; there was none on would stand on the moon for when you feel sick. Vomiting

the moon. He had trouble real. in your helmet is no fun.”

slowing down. He almost # “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

panicked, especially as he Jabria grinned. All rookies She did worry, she always

heard Jabria’s chuckling in his showed the same reaction; did. The main job of any

ear. after the first few exultant space worker was to worry. If

“Don’t fall!” she mocked bounces they stood still in you didn’t worry about your

him. awe of the sight of earth over equipment, your movements

He breathed hard, feeling the horizon. Her own “first and all eventualities, you

irritated by his breath, which time” had been no different, could very easily end up dead

reminded him of his body’s before she had lost control or in their case endanger other

presence on earth. It took a over her robot and knocked equipment or the people

while until he managed to one of the “Lunatics” off his actually living on the moon,

slow down the robot and feet... as she had done once.

come to a halt. “Come on, let’s take a #

He looked around at the look at the habitat,” she said They approached the

plain on which they stood and interrupted his dreaming. habitat and Dustin giggled

through his robot’s eyes. It They weren’t here for fun; with joy as the main airlock

was rich with “new gold” and they were here to work. opened and one of the

large portions of it were dug Carefully, Dustin walked occupants of “Lunamine 1”

up and tilled. He looked at his robot over to her and she left it. The astronaut’s suit

the pitch-black sky above. He nodded with respect. He was was coated with special heat-

stared in awe at the myriad of good and found his bearings resisting material that

stars and turned around on his pretty quickly and managed to protected against the warmed

axis. In the distance, hanging handle the big feet and duly up ground he had to walk on

like a lie in the sky, was the bent his arms. She waited for and shimmered silvery

place on which Dustin still him and then walked with instead of the classic space-

stood: earth. him. suite white.

It looked like that classic “The most important thing Jabria pinged his com-

picture from a hundred years is keeping a distance. Never unit. “Hi, Miguel.”

ago when one of the Apollo forget that the robot’s arm “Hi Jabbi, got a new guy

missions--he had forgotten length is longer than yours. today?”

which one--had taken a You have a range of about “Yes, that’s Dustin. Don’t

snapshot of earth from the two and a half meters per come too close to us if you

moon. A blue and white arm, more than eight feet. want to survive another day.”

jewel sparkled in the sky, he That’s enormous. Many Miguel chuckled and

even imagined being able to newcomers tend to forget that approached them

and throw over robots, nevertheless.

93

“Hi there, Miguel Ortega, “Why are you out?” Jabria “No, I cut the connection

nice to meet you.” asked. to him.”

“Hi! Dustin Sears! It’s an “Unit 6 has some “Ah...how often have you

honor! You’re my first problems.” applied?” he asked her.

‘Lunatic’!” “Again?” “Three times so far.”

Miguel chuckled and “Yeah, don’t know what’s “How long have you

Dustin’s robot almost fell wrong with that damned worked this job already?”

over as he bowed to Miguel. thing...it’s just too old I “Same as Lars at unit 6,

Dustin couldn’t help an suppose.” two years and eight months

“Uh...” slipping out of his “Well, we don’t want to now, we started out together.”

mouth, as he desperately tried keep you. See you later, “Wow,” Dustin said and

to regain his balance, while Miguel.” his robot nodded its head.

Miguel’s and Jabria’s laughter “Sure,” Miguel raised his “By the way, you really

hurt in his ears. silver-gloved hand and waved should take that advice.

To their surprise and at them. Don’t apply every round. If

disappointment, he managed It was weird to not see his you’re not super good, you’ll

not to fall over. face behind the tinted glass of end up like Lars.”

“Sorry, first day.” his helmet; he could as well “Got it! And thanks for

“Oh, don’t worry, I did be a robot too. Jabria was the advice. But nevertheless,

worse on my first day,” very grateful that she hadn’t I wanna have Miguel’s job

Miguel said. seen Peter’s face, after she one day!”

“You started out as a robo had knocked him off his feet “If you don’t screw up you

operator?” on her first day. might get it,” she said.

“Yes.” Worried, Jabria looked They had almost reached

“Exactly my career plans after Miguel, unit 6--that was the habitat, as Jabria turned to

too!” Lars’ unit. If the glitch was Dustin.

“Good luck with it!” his fault, that would be it. “Try to grab that pole

“How long are you here They would fire him. She here,” she pointed at it.

already?” sighed inwardly and shook #

“Nine months now, her head. He had been too The habitat was a round

another three months to go.” eager. half-tube that looked like a

“Cool! How do you like “What’s wrong?” Dustin spider from above. It had a

it?” asked. big gathering, kitchen and

“Oh, it’s great! Every day Jabria cut the connection living module in the middle, a

an adventure! But I’ll also be to Miguel. little smaller bathroom,

happy to eat decent food “Nothing. I’m only storage and waste disposal

again and sleep in a feather worried about unit 6. It’s collector section behind it and

bed, breathe fresh air, see a been troubling us for quite a the individual living quarters

blue sky and and and...but I while now. And I’m worried that reached out from the

wouldn’t wanna miss my year about its operator...he applied structure like spider’s legs.

on the moon.” ten times and didn’t make it.” There were eight living

Dustin sighed wistfully. “Oh...um, can Miguel still quarters at the moment with

hear us?” Dustin asked. two bunk beds each and they

94

housed a maximum of sixteen into which they were bolted. “Nothing is left to chance

people, but currently only At the base, the poles were in our job.”

fourteen workers were about a meter away from the “Well, sure.”

stationed on the moon. white shimmering hull of the “Okay, walk to the next

Lunamine was about to habitat. pole and grab it, grab it while

expand, another bulldozer and # you’re moving. Don’t stop

robot were under construction Jabria used the poles to and adjust. You’ll probably

and another two lucky robo- train newbies. They had to miss it, but go on and try with

operator type Bs were about grab them and learn the the next pole. We’ll walk

to be sent to the moon. proportions of their robots. around the habitat and you’ll

Behind the habitat, a Some of the newbies totally move hand–over-hand like an

second one was under forgot their water tank orangutan until you got it.”

construction. They were training during their first “Yes, Ma’am!”

planning a garden where the hours on the moon and She stepped away to give

“Lunatics” wanted to grow blindly reached out for the him room and then slowly

their own vegetables. So far, pole and sometimes even followed him. Dustin walked

everything they ate had to be knocked her robot off its feet at a brisk pace and missed the

imported from earth at in the process. first pole by at least half a

horrendous costs. The moon Dustin was good; his meter. He missed the second

greenhouse would be a great robot’s hand missed the pole by 30 centimeters. It was her

step towards actual only by a few centimeters. rule to say something when

colonization, if it worked. “Damn!” her candidates missed the

The greenhouse was supposed “No, very good. You did third pole.

to be finished in two months the right thing. You adjusted Dustin got it; he slowed

and earth, seeds and tiny your position before you down and managed barely to

plants would be shipped via reached for the pole. You’re grab the third pole. After that

one of Lunamine’s two moon- doing great, better than most he understood the exercise

shuttles. first timers. Try again.” and grabbed the poles without

The refinery next to it Encouraged, he made a her having to correct him. He

dwarfed the habitat; it was big small step forward, reached missed the first one at a

enough to allow a bulldozer out for the pole a second time corner but learned the corner

in its roofed parking area and and managed to grab it. trick quickly.

was a dark gray monster of a “Very good! Only one “This is fun!” he shouted.

square that looked as if it had percent of all newbies manage “Good! ‘Cause we’ll do

been dropped from orbit. to grab the pole correctly the some more of that!”

Bulky and inelegant, it first time, 54 percent manage Dustin laughed and

appeared much more alien in the second time like you, 45 continued until suddenly a

the lunar landscape than the percent need more than two whining noise interrupted

white habitat and the tries. I have high hopes for them.

greenhouse under you, Dustin.” Distracted, Dustin missed

construction. “Wow, you have statistics the next pole and his robot

Poles grew from the for that?” almost fell over.

habitat’s roof into the ground,

95

“Help!” Miguel shouted running, after her, trying the dozer. Jabria sucked in

into all their com-systems desperately not to lose air.

before he screamed in pain. control, but he was still on his ‘Don’t panic, keep a cool

“Mayday! Mayday! feet. head,’ she thought. ‘They are

Miguel is down!” Lars More screams from monitoring all our physical

shrieked hysterically. Miguel filled their com functions. You’ll never get a

“What?” Jabria whirled systems. ticket to the moon when they

around. “Dustin! Follow me, “Damn it! Get me out of realize you’re pissing your

but take it slow!” here!” pants in the slightest crisis!’

She had done this for “We’re on our way, don’t Admittedly, a “Lunatic”

almost three years already and move!” Jabria said. down, probably hurt, trapped

knew the terrain, the gravity Another jump and she saw under a dozer and losing air,

and her robot very well. She him. Miguel lay at the side of was a big crisis.

ran, jumped and let her robot the bulldozer on the ground The bulldozers were giant

ride on the inertia. During and his feet were out of sight. black trucks on six heat-

highest ascension, she looked Jabria felt her hands growing reinforced double wheels with

around. She saw unit 6 in the cold with fear. heating and digging

distance and couldn’t make “I’ll move the dozer!” Lars equipment at the front like

out yet what was wrong, but shouted. agricultural machines to

Miguel’s scream echoed in “No! Maybe his suit is loosen up and collect the

her ears. His scream was damaged! Wait till I’m warmed moon soil. They

worse than Peter’s had been-- there!” Jabria ordered. sucked the gravel in and blew

a very bad sign. “Miguel! Are you losing it into a rotating drum that

She landed beyond the air?” was the first filtering stage for

habitat and jumped again “Shit! Yes!” the helium 3. At the end of

towards unit 6. She saw that “Don’t move! And don’t the drum were two shoots,

unit 5’s robot was closest to move the dozer! All others, one to dump the pre-filtered

unit 6 and walking over to it. stay with your equipment, soil into the refinery, one to

She didn’t know who was on we’ll order you to unit 6 if we dump the rest back onto the

unit 5. need you,” Jabria said and plain of Mare Tranquillitatis.

“I’m approaching! What’s received acknowledgement Miguel’s feet had been

going on, Lars?” a voice said pings from the other active caught under the middle pair

over the com. robo-operators. of wheels. The bulldozer

Now she knew--Beatrice She stopped her robot weighed less than it would on

was on unit 5. from making another jump--it earth but it was still heavy

“Miguel’s foot is under the had taken her a long time to enough to do serious damage.

bulldozer!” learn to do so--and walked the “How the hell did that

“You’re kidding!” Jabria last few meters to Miguel. happen?” Jabria asked.

shouted. Beatrice’s and Lars’ robots “I...I don’t know!” Lars

High above the dug-up were already standing around stuttered.

plain Jabria risked a quick him. “Are you hurt?” Beatrice

look behind her. She saw Miguel lay on the ground asked.

Dustin half walking, half and both his feet were under

96

“Yes...I think so,” Dustin’s robot arrived at Lars moved the bulldozer

Miguel’s voice was the scene. Dustin, on earth, a few inches backwards.

frighteningly weak. was shaking inside his rubber Miguel screamed. The

“He worked at the side of suit from the strain. It was so leak was so big that Jabria

the dozer and suddenly--” hard to control the giant robot could see it. With a cold stab

“We have no time for that in the moon’s weak gravity. of fear in her heart, she

now, we have to get him out Miguel was moaning. grabbed his leg over the leak.

of there,” Jabria interrupted Jabria linked her system to Air hissed from it. Carefully

Lars. Miguel’s suit and checked his but as fast as possible, she

She had activated the life signs. The air loss was closed her robot’s steel hand

emergency frequencies; minimal, but once the dozer around the leak and the leg

ground personnel as well as was moved, the leak may and added a bit of pressure.

the people inside the habitat spread rapidly. Miguel groaned but didn’t

and refinery could hear them. “Alright. Lars, you move protest.

“This is Lunamine 1, the dozer when I tell you. With the other hand Jabria

we’re preparing for a medical Bea, you take Miguel by his grabbed his other leg and

emergency.” shoulders. I’ll take his legs lifted him. Beatrice reacted

That was Anwar, the once they are free and will try immediately and lifted his

current commander of the to seal the suit-breach with shoulders. They had him

habitat. my grip. Dustin, you stay between the two robots.

“Bozeman and Lee here, behind us and watch and “Go, go, go!” Jabria

do you want us to go over to follow and don’t touch shouted, but she didn’t need

unit 6?” another voice asked. anything unless told. Let’s to speed up Beatrice, who had

Bob Bozeman, who move!” seen the leak too.

always referred to himself They all got into their Miguel screamed half in

with his last name, and Lee positions. Lars hurried back pain, half in panic, as Beatrice

were currently suited-up to the dozer’s controls. and Jabria started running.

working in the refinery. Beatrice took Miguel by the “No jumping!” Jabria

“No, only if absolutely shoulders. Jabria positioned warned needlessly, Beatrice

necessary, I don’t want to herself next to Miguel’s legs was an experienced operator;

expose more active personnel and Dustin moved behind her. she knew very well that it was

to the rogue unit, let the Jabria bowed down and too dangerous to jump with

robots handle it, do you agree, readied her robot’s hands to Miguel.

Jabbi?” grab Miguel’s legs. They couldn’t prevent

“Yes, Anwar, I do.” “Move the dozer their steps from getting longer

She wondered why Anwar backwards, only a little bit, though, it happened

asked her and not Beatrice. too much and the front tires automatically when you tried

‘Damn, they expect me to will get him,” Jabria said to to be fast.

take the lead in this situation,’ Lars. The habitat seemed

Jabria thought and the “Got it.” terribly far away. Miguel’s

responsibility on her “On three: one, two, suit was still leaking air.

shoulders turned into physical three!” Jabria shouted. What if they didn’t reach the

weights.

97

habitat in time? What if he that had no fatal accidents so Miguel screamed as Jabria

ran out of air and died? far was the Japanese/Indian had to adjust her grip on his

‘Don’t think’, Jabria one. That still wasn’t much, wounded leg.

hissed to herself. ‘Just do it, still so many people died on Shit! Their speeds were

just get him there.’ earth every day in work too uneven. One of them

Dustin walked behind related accidents. But would have to let go.

them while Lars switched off nevertheless, now it was live However, Jabria couldn’t let

unit 6 and followed too. and real and happening to go because she sealed the

Jabria checked Dustin’s life Miguel. leak...

signs to get her mind off Nausea crept into Jabria’s Beatrice knew that and let

Miguel. Dustin produced an stomach. What did she him go.

unhealthy amount of sweat. always tell her rookies? Dustin shouted behind

He surely felt sick, dizzy and “Don’t puke into your helmet. them. “Look out!”

his stomach revolted. The Whatever you do, don’t barf #

low gravity was nauseating, into your helmet!” He saw Beatrice

she knew that. # stumbling, saw her letting

Her mind wandered back Miguel moaned and Miguel go. She deliberately

to Miguel and his suit. There groaned. But that was good, pushed herself to the side as

was nothing between the frail he was still conscious and she realized she wouldn’t be

human body inside that suit Jabria’s robot’s hand had able to stop her fall, to get

and hard vacuum other than probably sealed off most of away from Miguel in the

the suit’s skin. She thought of the leak. desperate attempt not to harm

all the science fiction movies The habitat came closer him further. But his head

she had seen, where people and closer. They would make would crash to the ground!

exploded when their suits it. If only none of them Dustin didn’t think but

were damaged in space. She stumbled. She prayed that launched forward, he

tried to ban such thoughts but Beatrice would remain on her stretched his two and a half

couldn’t. feet; that she herself would meter long arms forward

It couldn’t be that not fall. If she did, it would beneath Miguel’s falling

someone was dying while she be the end of Miguel. They body.

was on duty! Peter’s scream ploughed over the surface Luckily, things fall slowly

echoed in her ear. towards the habitat. The most on the moon.

There were always critical moment would be Miguel screamed.

accidents. Three of when they would have to Dustin managed to bring

Lunamine’s astronauts had slow down. About now. his robot’s arms under him

died during the ten years of “Let’s slow down now,” and break the fall. He didn’t

the mining operation. Jabria said. “Carefully!” know how, but he even

Luckily, no one had died Both of them slowed, but managed to stay on his feet

since she had become a robo Beatrice slowed down more and to keep up with Jabria.

operator. Four more had died abruptly than Jabria and Beatrice’s robot rolled

at the European/Russian suddenly Jabria was in front over in the dust to the side;

mining station and six at the with Miguel’s legs instead of she was rolling over on the

Chinese one. The only station Beatrice with his head.

98

floor of the hangar in which because she had knocked him into her helmet. They had

they worked. over with her robot’s arm. laughed at her for weeks. The

“Dustin!” Jabria shouted, Jabria put Miguel’s legs management had only given

her voice full of hope and onto the ground. Air hissed her another chance because

anxiety. from the damaged suit as she Lunamine had been so short

“Got him! Keep on going! let go of his legs, then she on operators and since Peter

Go!” jumped out herself without hadn’t been harmed except

Jabria did what he said. It falling. for a few bruises and a shock.

was close to a miracle but “Anwar! He’s in!” “Damn it, Dustin, you

they managed. Immediately the outer were great! Thank you!”

They slowed down and airlock door closed and air Four ground personnel

crossed the last few meters to hissed into the chamber. people already stood by the

the airlock. The entrance had They had made it! wall of the hangar ready to

already opened, Anwar had Jabria stood over Dustin’s run for them as soon as they

seen to that. robot and grabbed one of his lifted their helmets.

“Get in and put him down arms. Dustin was shivering all

first!” Jabria ordered and “Dustin, get up!” over, was soaked in sweat and

Dustin ducked just in time to She saw that Beatrice was gasped after his stomach had

prevent his robot’s head from on her feet again already. gotten rid of its contents. But

banging into the frame of the Jabria dragged Dustin to then he giggled. He hadn’t

airlock. Jabria quickly his feet and a few meters screwed up, more than that;

adjusted to his flailing away from the airlock to the he had helped to save Miguel.

around. As careful as he habitat’s side, where their #

could, Dustin let Miguel’s robots wouldn’t be in the way. They had been just in

shoulders to the ground then “Dustin, end session!” time; Miguel had only had

jumped out of the airlock. He “End session, code 3356,” another ounce of air left in his

stumbled at the airlock’s Dustin said in a pressed voice. suit. He had a broken ankle

threshold and yelped as his # but was otherwise fine and

robot fell flat onto its face. Dustin’s vision got returned to earth on the next

# blocked; he didn’t see the transport.

Jabria saw Peter before her moon anymore but the inside Lars was fired.

mind’s eye, how she had of his helmet. He choked. Strangely enough, the

knocked him down with her Hectically, he fumbled for incident changed Jabria’s

robot. How he lay in the open his helmet and tore it off, fell mind from type A to type B.

door of the airlock and how to his knees and emptied the She had screwed up with

the door closed on his throat. contents of his stomach onto Peter, yes, but not with

It had looked like a guillotine. the floor of the hangar. Miguel and finally her fear

The door had stopped to cycle Jabria took off her helmet was gone. And the thought

as it had encountered as well, bent down to him and that Dustin would take care of

resistance, but that image had patted his back. She hadn’t her while she was up there

stayed with her--Peter managed to get her helmet off was an additional life

guillotined by the door in time when she had knocked insurance.

over Peter. She had barfed

99

She applied for transfer to

the moon at the next Thought Goddess

opportunity and got the job. by James Jason Dye

She enjoyed her year on the

A golden fleece, under arch, I see.

moon greatly without any Fair cheeked and beautiful lady Affair,

incident and with the first shaded in boutiques of myrtle and roses,

vegetables grown in the melodiously sings to Kings from pages

moon’s greenhouse. And she as turtle doves grovel for seeds at her feet.

stayed on as an operator after The coastlands rinse, the apples repeat.

her year to be around for

Dustin’s time on the moon. She is as lovely as her lyrical hymns

He managed to get transferred in ivy cloak and veil adorned in stems

after merely two and a half masked with stars and cothurnus boots.

years as a robo operator. She plays her golden flute, a tune

of tragedy to mortals in their sleep.

The coastlands rinse, the apples repeat.



She dreams into our landscapes worlds.

-The End Our flowers blossom in her sour orchards.

Her beautiful voice whispers "Look here,"

Regina Glei was…

to bird men like Homer and Shakespeare

born in Germany but

as she lifts us skyward to her raped sphere.

nourished a fascination

The coastlands rinse, the apples repeat.

for the Far East ever

since she was a little Drought, she puts her finger to mouth,

girl. She graduated in a sacred eloquent pantomime thought

Japanese Studies and to rule over dance and dramatic times

lives and works now in blooms clowns and ideal rhymes. In

Japan for over eight masks she basks, for glory she asks.

years already. Her The coastlands rinse the apples, repeat.

other

fascination is with Desire holds the light still for the Queen.

words and although she She's seen hurling fire that maddens scenes.

does speak and It seems to please her well, in delight, plight.

read/write Japanese, As she hisses her snake in shepherd's staff,

she still prefers to and quakes the wakes of Heaven's wrath.

write in English. Living The coastlands rinse, the apples gasp.

far away from her

home country for so Look o'er the vault, through the glowing mists,

long, has surely

for words to be inspired by this angel's kiss.

influenced her writing

She'll gather your pieces to be buried together

as just injustice spreads widely and tethers

too; it’s speculative and

to hero-cults in the tombs and the shrines.

sometimes weird...

The coastlands rinse, amused she dines.



100

Halloween Hills



Ghost, Ghouls, and Goblins Alike

Do Come from a Place that Still

Exist in our Fears, And Still Causes Tears

And Even Drippings in Bed

This Place of Fright, has only the Night

No Sunshine Would Dare to Demonstrate There

Witches, Warlocks, and Their Poisonous Apples

Of the Halloween Hills-Want Us Dead





Bugs and Spiders, and Fires from Tires

On Every Street Corner, They Are

There’s a Dragon, its True, & a Rat or Two

All Waiting to Cause Screams in the Night

Yes, They Want You to Shout

Till Your Eyes Bug Out, and Boogers Drip Drop from Your Nose

Then They Touch You, Disgust You, Licking with Tongues

That On Site, You Know Just Ain’t Right





On All Hallows Eve, Those in There, They Leave

And Come to See Our Side of Life

They Stink, and They Stank, They are Violently Rank

And Cause Gooseflesh, and Unholy Chills

For One Night, We Must Fight

And Lock all Doors up Tight, Because They are Out for Awhile

Make it to Midnight, They All Go Away

Back Back To the Halloween Hills



-Moby Barnes









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plotting and character development. I don’t want to see what’s been done a hundred times already. Be original at all cost. Everything, living or inanimate, has a story to

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