My story begins in New York City and begins again in a rural mountain town in Virginia. My brilliant second career came courtesy of a long-dead grocer. George Bowers was a New Yorker who died at the turn of last century. I knew nothing about George back in 2007. At
Puff Gather around and I will tell you a tale Of how Christmas was saved By a cat and her tail Santa was making his rounds in the sky The reindeer were flying All masked to the eye The presents were given to good girls and boys There were ipads and ipods And even some toys The stockings were stuffed right on up to the top With fruitcake and oranges And sometimes some pop Cookies and milk were indulged by the guy Carrots for reindeer Really helps them to fly The house up the hill was next on the list Just one little girl She shouldn't be missed The sleigh landed safely by a chimney pot The reindeer were blowing It really was hot A fire was roaring in the fire place Her parents were drinking And stuffing their face Santa's dilemma was quite clear to see How to get presents To the Christmas tree Puff here was listening for hooves on the roof She knew it was Christmas And here was her proof She must put out the fire so Santa could enter Puff was so tiny But she knew her center She settled her haunches and raised up her head Her mouth opened wide And here's what she said Pee down the chimney and put out the flames The parents are drunkards And they'll take the blame The child that lives here is safely asleep I tucked her in soundly And purred nice and deep So put out the fire and drop off your gifts You're welcome in this house Her spirits you'll lift The reindeer they heard the cat's bloody yowl They heard and they nodded And lined up by the cowl The reindeer they knew that they were now needed To pee down the chimney Santa stayed seated Each of the reindeer took such careful aim And peed on the embers They put out the flames Santa now safely went down the chimney Delivered his gifts And dropped off some whiskey My good friend Puff you yowled very loudly Such a good job It was all done so proudly How did you do it and not raise suspicion They just didn't guess You were giving permission That was the fun part when all's set to wail I just let them think They stepped on my tail.