Poetry Revision by u8ONa2

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									                           Poetry Revision
                            “Top Five Focus”

Choose a poem to revise and then focus on the following “top five”:

   VERBS: Underline all of the verbs in your poem. Change the verbs that
    need it so they are more active and precise.
   END OF LINES: Look at your line breaks. What kinds of words come at the
    end of the lines—is there a pattern between ending with verbs or nouns,
    or a combination of both? Do your line breaks help to create a visual and
    verbal rhythm? Make adjustments as needed.
   THE ONE LINE: Highlight the one line that says the most what you want the
    poem to be about. If you have to revise the line to make it the most
    important line, then do it.
   ADD: Look over your poem to decide how you will enhance other lines so
    they will complement the one line you’ve chosen.
   DELETE: Get rid of the words or lines that do not complement the one line
    you’ve chosen. Can you cut unnecessary words such as the, a, or and?
    Remember:
        o Don’t over explain or over describe.
        o Get rid of details that aren’t important to your visual images.
        o Strive for “Density and Intensity of Expression!”

                           Poetry Revision
                            “Top Five Focus”

Choose a poem to revise and then focus on the following “top five”:

   VERBS: Underline all of the verbs in your poem. Change the verbs that
    need it so they are more active and precise.
   END OF LINES: Look at your line breaks. What kinds of words come at the
    end of the lines—is there a pattern between ending with verbs or nouns,
    or a combination of both? Do your line breaks help to create a visual and
    verbal rhythm? Make adjustments as needed.
   THE ONE LINE: Highlight the one line that says the most what you want the
    poem to be about. If you have to revise the line to make it the most
    important line, then do it.
   ADD: Look over your poem to decide how you will enhance other lines so
    they will complement the one line you’ve chosen.
   DELETE: Get rid of the words or lines that do not complement the one line
    you’ve chosen. Can you cut unnecessary words such as the, a, or and?
    Remember:
        o Don’t over explain or over describe.
        o Get rid of details that aren’t important to your visual images.
        o Strive for “Density and Intensity of Expression!”
A poem for my daughter (Draft)

Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How the sunlight filters through the branches of the old oak tree outside your window?
The tangled ropes of a crocheted childhood blanket? What laughter falls from your lips?

Do you wonder where you’re headed—
A racecar driver, a veterinarian, a princess?
Which life will you lead? Which voices will call—who will you follow?

As your life unwinds, unfolding ahead and behind you, keep happiness as your guide. But do
heartache, though it may fill you with despair, for it will arrive to teach you to see or hear or f
hadn’t known. And those feelings—there is strength there. Keep them for life.

My daughter, my love, my heart
How will you answer all of life’s callings?
A poem for my daughter (Revision)

Dear Belle,
*Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How the sunlight filters through the branches of the old oak tree outside your
window?
The tangled ropes of a crocheted childhood blanket,
softened and frayed from comfort and worry?
What laughter falls from your lips?

Do you wonder where you’re headed—
Racecar driver, Veterinarian, Princess?
Which life will you lead?
Which voices will call—who will you follow?

As your life unwinds, ribboning ahead and behind you,
keep happiness as your guide.
But don’t ignore the heartache,
though it may split you with despair,
for it will arrive to teach you
to see or hear or feel
something you hadn’t known.
And those feelings—there is strength there.

Keep them for life.

My daughter, my love, my heart
*How will you answer all of life’s callings?

Love, Mommy
(Final)

Dear Belle,

Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How the sunlight filters through the branches of the old oak tree
outside your window?
The tangled ropes of a crocheted childhood blanket,
softened and frayed from comfort and worry?
What laughter falls from your lips?

Do you wonder where you’re headed—
Racecar driver, Veterinarian, Princess?
Which life will you lead?
Which voices will call—who will you follow?

As your life unwinds,
ribboning ahead and behind you,
keep happiness as your guide.
But don’t ignore the heartache,
though it may split you with despair,
for it will arrive to teach you
to see or hear or feel
something you hadn’t known.
And those feelings—there is strength there.

Keep them for life.

My daughter, my love, my heart
How will you answer all of life’s callings?

Love,
Mommy

								
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