Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at
http://archiveofourown.org/works/138874.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Character: Roger Rabbit, Jessica Rabbit
Additional Tags: Romance, Comedy
Collections: Yuletide 2010
Stats: Published: 2010-12-12 Words: 2262
Snow Bunnies
by Miggy
Summary
A short tale of how Jessica ended up with Roger (and not a bunch
of other guys).
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
"I'm wishing," trilled Snow White as she gently settled in a wintery clearing,
"for the one I love to find me." Her hands clasped against her breastbone. A
blue jay alit on her left shoulder and chirped the melody; the cardinal on her
right covered the harmony. "Today."
Before she could open her mouth for the next line, two huge breasts surged
out of the pool at her feet. A head of long red hair was attached to them,
and an incredibly long pair of legs, but both seemed to fade into the
background under Snow White's astonished horror. "Oh my gosh! What are
you doing?"
The woman happily arched and twisted like a cat in a sunbeam. "Stretching.
These hot springs are heavenly. It's no wonder they charge an arm and a leg
for vacations here."
Snow White rose to her feet and planted her fists firmly on her hips. The two
birds on her shoulders her matched her accusatory stare. Now that her
shock had worn off she could recognize the face from posters seen during
her very occasional visits to Toontown. "The lodge property is across the
highway. This belongs to the Dwarves."
Jessica raised one manicured eyebrow as she wrung out her hair. "What was
that?"
Seven slack-jawed faces appeared out of the undergrowth.
"Oh," Jessica tittered and retrieved her clothing with no particular haste.
"Trust me, darling. They won't be pressing charges."
"Leave!" Snow White insisted, pointing toward the forest and the highway
beyond.
"Exactly my plan. I do have lift tickets that I intend not to use, after all,"
Jessica said as she somehow slid back into her skintight winter clothing.
High-heeled boots as impractical as any stiletto pumps completed the
ensemble; Snow White snorted. "And a tip: tone down that song of yours.
You're coming across just a hint desperate."
"Ooh!" Snow White stomped as she watched that head of red hair vanish into
the forest. And here she'd thought the Wicked Queen was a pain in the ass.
The jay and cardinal gasped, each covering their beaks with one wing.
"Did I say that out loud?" Snow White nervously giggled. "I meant: makes me
a little unhappy, golly."
They seemed only somewhat convinced. At the edge of her hearing, the
Dwarves were trying to figure out how many gems they'd need to sell to rent
rooms at Big Snowy Mountain Lodge.
***
"Oh," Jessica said with mock dismay, "that mountain looks so tall and
dangerous."
Five minutes later she was stretched out in front of a fireplace. Toontown's
most eligible bachelors crowded around her, each fighting to be the one
granted the honor of handing over the first drink of her vacation.
"It's so hard to choose," Jessica sighed. "But you remembered the
marshmallows," she said with a quick little quirk of her nose. Taking the
mug of hot chocolate, she sipped and let out a sigh dramatic enough to more
than state her pleasure. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?" That was a
surprise; she knew almost every toon around. And this man was a handsome
sort of fellow: tall, rugged, very outdoorsy.
"Mr. Mann," he said as the other bachelors left in disappointment.
"You don't say," Jessica purred.
Another man came up to gesture at his watch. With a huge sigh Mr. Mann
stood and smiled apologetically. "I'm sure I'll be kicking myself for this
tomorrow, but my hunting party is waiting on me."
"Hunting party?" Jessica asked. "That seems a little rough-and-tumble for
this place." Big Snowy Mountain Lodge was for the crème de la crème of
toon society. It was where one came to see, be seen, and in all likelihood, do
very little actual skiing.
With that same regretful tone he continued, "We like hunting and camping,
but we also like having a home base with maid service. Sorry. These deer
hunting licenses expire soon; we've got to hit the forest."
Jessica was left sipping her hot chocolate with only the fireplace to witness
her annoyed expression. She almost didn't glance over when a pair of grey
snow boots propped themselves up next to her glittery red ones, but
eventually relented into acknowledging, "Hello, Betty."
"Sweetie," Betty Boop said with no shortage of sympathy, "what's eatin'
you?"
"I'm fairly confident I was just blown off," Jessica muttered. "Which is a fate I
was sure I would never suffer."
"Happens to the best of us," Betty said and patted Jessica's knee. "Oh," she
giggled, "there's your problem." Gesturing to her own jacket, she unzipped it
well down into her cleavage. "Give it a few more inches."
Jessica followed suit almost absent-mindedly.
With that taken care of, Betty continued, "Now why are you so all fired up
about landing yourself a fella, Jess? Back home you got the swells lined up
outside the club just trying to get a peek."
"That's exactly it. That new Top of Toontown restaurant opened last week
and the owners asked me if I would attend."
"Oh," Betty said dreamily. "The one on the top of the skyscraper, that sees
all the way to the Pacific?"
"That's the one," Jessica confirmed. "They didn't want me there singing, I
wouldn't have to put on a show... they simply wanted me to attend as a
celebrity guest. I realized there wasn't a single man I could ask for my 'plus
one' on the invitation. Oh, every man in that town would die for a chance to
touch me," she said like it was a given, "but I don't know if a single one
would be able to hold a conversation for more than a minute."
"Anything I can do to help?" Betty offered.
Jessica felt bad about asking; Betty was coming to the end of her contract
with Fleischer Studios and most of Toontown didn't see many opportunities
for her on the horizon. This might well be the last time she managed a visit
to the luxury of that resort, or even had much of a chance to leave the
boundaries of Los Angeles. But, well, if she were offering.... "Just mention
around the lodge that there is a gorgeous and highly talented snow bunny
by the fireplace," Jessica decided. "Who would love to learn how to ski."
"Will do," Betty promised. "Hey, I gotta skedaddle. I see a producer over
there and I just know I'm right for his role." She hopped to her feet, thrust
her hips to one side, and squeaked out her trademark, "Boop boop be
doop... boop!"
"Good luck," Jessica called after her. Betty really was a sweet girl. A pity she
had a head shaped like a pumpkin.
Some time later, when the dancing flames in the fireplace filled Jessica's
vision, she became slowly aware of a man sliding next to her on the couch.
She turned expectantly to see Betty's first try. "Gweetings," said Elmer Fudd
through a bashful smile.
"No," Jessica immediately decided.
Elmer slunk off dejectedly.
"Gawrsh," Goofy soon sighed in wonder.
"No."
When Popeye stared at her chest and actually asked what Olive Oyl needed
to eat to look like that, Jessica began to think that her vacation had been a
spectacularly bad idea. "Spinach," she crooned. When he protested that it
made him stronger, she shook her finger and explained, "Ah ah ah, dear,
that's for men. For women, well, just like your arms get bigger, our...."
Gesturing at her chest, she giggled and hoped he'd take the right idea.
When the man hurried off, Jessica leaned back with a smirk. What a cad,
treating his girl like that. Maybe Olive could smack some sense into him
after her arms swelled with temporary muscle.
"I need a drink," she sighed, and that time it needed to be stronger than just
a mug of hot chocolate. A glass of something orange appeared in front of
her. Startled, Jessica tried to focus on it so intently that she almost went
cross-eyed. "What is that?"
"Carrot juice!" exclaimed the voice behind the glass. A white, furry head
tilted from behind it to grin at her, but his smile soon fell off his face.
"Roger Rabbit," Jessica said, recognizing him from his cartoon shorts. Of
course she knew him; everyone in Toontown knew Roger Rabbit. What she
couldn't figure out was why he looked so suddenly disappointed. "Is
something wrong?"
"Nothing!" he promised and replaced his disappointed look with a confused
one. "Betty Boop just said that there was 'a cute snow bunny by the
fireplace, wanting someone to bring her a drink.'" Roger placed the drink in
her hands, tapped his finger thoughtfully against his chin, and then seemed
to have a lightbulb moment.
"What are you doing?" Jessica giggled as he poked at her hair.
"Looking for your ears," he said like it was self-evident. "Any respectable
bunny has to have big set of rabbit ears!"
Realizing what meaning he'd taken from Betty, Jessica caught Roger's wrists
in her hands and pulled them away from her head. "It's just a phrase," she
said, still having to fight back laughter. He just looked so perplexed. It was
actually quite adorable. "I'm not a rabbit."
"Not even a... little bit?" he asked, holding two fingers an inch apart.
"Afraid not," she said with an apologetic shrug. "'Snow bunny' just means
that I like to ski." Or so the story went; she liked to sit in front of a fireplace
and hear tales of other people's spectacular accidents.
"Ski? Ski! I love to ski!" Roger enthused, grabbing her hand and pulling her
toward the door. "What are we waiting around here for?"
"Oh," Jessica said, glancing back at her abandoned seat. "All... all right."
They could climb to the top of that little incline where the children practiced,
slide to the bottom, and call it a day.
It'd be an adventure.
***
"I was hoping to just stay on the bunny hill," Jessica said nervously as they
settled onto the lift.
"P-p-p-please!" Roger laughed. "Any hill with me is the bunny hill!"
"I suppose that's true," Jessica tittered, trying not to focus on how very high
they seemed to be and how very hard the wind was blowing.
"Is that safe?" Roger soon asked.
Jessica fought back the urge to say that perhaps he should have asked that
before they rode up the big, scary mountain. She then realized he was
pointing to her tiny, stiletto-heeled snow boots and how she was attempting
to adjust their connection to her skis. "I always wear heels. They're a girl's
best friend."
"If you say so," Roger said dubiously, his back to the mountain slope and his
arms folded across his chest. His head tilted to the side as he studied her
shoes. It took Jessica a moment to realize that he was getting smaller, and
another to realize than he was sliding down the mountain on his own
oversized feet.
"Roger!" she gasped, planting her ski poles into the snow and shoving
herself forward like she'd been skiing all her life. It was her fault they were
even on that mountain; she couldn't let him be hurt!
Though she managed to launch with her ski poles, everything after that was
far more challenging.
"Oh no," Jessica gasped as she felt her legs start to scissor apart. She tried
to correct them only to find that closing her stance sent her speeding down
the mountain. "Oh no!" she shrieked as every moment gathered more speed
behind her.
A blur of white fur swept in from the side of her vision. Jessica's feet slid out
from under her one moment before Roger swept her into his arms and
grinned. "My hero," Jessica sighed. They were still sliding down the
mountain at top speed, but Roger's enormous feet were far more stable than
two narrow skis.
"You gotta be more careful!" Heedless of the fact that he was sliding down a
ski run backward, Roger thoughtfully said, "It's almost like you don't know
how to ski at all!"
Jessica struck a look of mock innocence.
They slowed and stopped as the hill reached its gentle conclusion. With a
small groan of relief, Jessica extracted herself from Roger's arms and
brushed off the snow that had sprayed across them as they sailed down the
mountain. "I think I want to stay in the lodge for the rest of my vacation,"
Jessica said.
"Don't be silly," Roger protested. "We'll stay on the bunny hill."
"The real bunny hill?" Jessica asked pointedly.
"P-p-promise," he swore with his trademark stutter. One hand went over his
heart. The other, clearly visible as he shoved it too far to one side of his
back, crossed its fingers.
Despite herself, Jessica giggled again. He was entertaining. "Well," she said
as her instincts told her to play just a bit hard to get, "I really would like
another mug of hot chocolate if I'm going to be out—" Cutting off, she
blinked down at the steaming drink in her hand. "Where on earth did you
get this?"
"Found it somewhere," Roger said innocently. He whistled. "Brought some
backups, too," he added and somehow managed to show off six more filled
mugs without spilling a drop.
Jessica glanced to one side and saw the Seven Dwarves staring dejectedly at
their empty hands.
He might be a curious little thing, but he could make her laugh. "Come on,"
she purred, gesturing him toward the slopes. "Later you can show me the
bunny hump."
"Don't you mean bunny slope?" Roger asked, scratching his head.
"One thing at a time."
End Notes
I hope you enjoyed your story! This was fun to write, as they're
such an entertaining pairing and I got a very clear picture of a mid-
century snow resort that all the celebrities loved to attend, a la
Sun Valley. ...You know, if Sun Valley were animated and populated
with the citizens of Toontown.
And yes, if you were wondering: Mr. Mann was heading to the
forest to shoot Bambi's mother. Happy Yuletide!
Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their
work!