Frogs o ur O w n B o i li n g Y
Bodenha
er s of P
lo g y ycho asion. Ps
u
7 mer 200
What we want,
what we pay for, what we expect, what we inspect.
At $35,000. to $54,000. we get to decide. Premium is the same price as Cheap Talk results.
Process
Machine Thinking 2 + 2 = 4
People
Emotional Humans It’s Not Fair, It’s Cold, They Like Me.
Getting Together is only the Beginning
We hire people, train and educate, attach them inside the process. New People 90 day 180 day
Senior
Core Business Process
Planning on What they might say! They always talk.
Planning on What they might do! They always jump.
Planning on When it gets hot! They always want out.
Persuasion
Culture Building Boiling a Frog
or eating soup with a knife.
is kinda like of a human being and
Culture
is the personality of our business.
is the act of changing the content of another persons mind at a specific time and place.
Presentation
We have to learn about a lot of things. It’s when two exact opposites are true at the exact same time.
UP
Paradox
DOWN
If we move UP the hours the BPH moves DOWN. If we move rewarding UP for the good of many the morale of a few moves DOWN. Elevated water (UP) increases pressure when it moves (DOWN).
We have to learn about It’s one of the natural laws of the universe.
Entropy
Easy
DOWN
The point of least resistance. Water always flows downhill. The earth and all humans conserve energy. Being lazy is good, having to work is bad, being poor is bad but easy, being rich is good but difficult.
We have to learn about
Paradigms
The world was flat a long time ago. A few hundred years ago the earth was flat. We’ve always done it that way. We’ll never sell any other color than black.
Paradigms are based on current knowledge and current events. They are often wrong. Sun - Earth - Moon
We have to learn about
Linear Thinking
Evolutionary
Emotions
Experiences
Education
A B C D E F 1 2 3 4 5 6
We think by association in a linear or straight line method. We start at number one and go as far as we can then we always start over.
History of Mankind
We have to learn about humans,
This is where you get out your knife and start eating soup. Harvard University Johns Hopkins (Carol Ivey) Yale University Richmond University ( Robert Flynn )
Nurture or Nature. Bedrock to Boardroom. We smile when happy. We shiver when cold. We fight back when afraid. We hide in the shadows.
What do you want on your tombstone?
Help Others Fulfill their Potential Peak Experiences SelfFulfillment
TEACHING HELPING COACHING PEAK
LOOKING CHALLENGE MOUNTAINS AUTHORITY MAKING SENSE APPRECIATION BEYOND SELF ASSOCIATION
Order Beauty Symmetry
Explore and Understand
WOW ADVANCE LOOK I DID GOOD AWARDS EGO DRIVEN GUARDING SHELTER DEFENSE OFFENSE
Approval and Recognition Acceptance by Others Safety Always comes First
FRIENDS ASSOCIATES BELONGING TRIBAL
BASIC Necessities Always Required
FOOD WATER
Focus Stop Trivial Focus Action Planning Produces Zero Results
Your tomorrow depends on what you focus on today. Motivation results from TAKING ACTIONS You can only INFLUENCE through service. Gratitude appreciate what you have, now.
11
Absolutes
Gratitude is the Hearts Memory. Emotions are messengers, listen to them.
Serve No Deposits No Withdrawals Questions are the source for answers.
Stop Telling and Start Asking Ready or not the future is waiting.
You are the source of negatives
Change is impersonal.
Rapport is built on agreement. Fear remove it at all costs.
Stay on Unfamiliar Ground
Time management is a matter of choice. Plan Each Minute Happiness experience work and people.
Make others important.
Conflict is nothing but Clutter.
There’s a lot of stuff about
Human Beings
We seek power, achievement or affiliation. Supported people feel less stress. We catch emotions from other people.
that you should know.
We pretend we remember everything. We remember recent stuff.
We cannot avoid thinking about things we want to avoid thinking about. Beliefs can change suddenly. We see things through beliefs, not as they are. We blame our failures on external things. We take credit for success and deny failure. We like having someone else to blame. We value the things we own.
Don’t Think about a PINK Elephant. How much is unemployment? Would YOU HIRE YOU?
We all have a brain but we are driven by many different things.
We are emotional
beings at all times which means we’re never far removed from instinctive actions. We like simple and explainable. We make all choices through selection filters based on
Evolutionary Traits, Education, Experiences, Emotions.
We compensate for self-concept threats by seeking social recognition. We behave well when we are being watched. We act politely or rudely depending on whether we care or not. When we don’t know what to do we copy others. Meeting and interacting increases the chance of friendship. We do what friends ask without negotiation. Behavior + Reward = MORE BEHAVIOR.
What’s it got to do with you and me? We’ve been people for a long time. We all came to work with beliefs, experiences and education driven by emotions provided by mother nature.
How do we persuade? How do we participate? How do we contribute?
Meaningless Moments? No Such Thing!
Persuade, Influence, Enhance a skill, Change a attitude, Reinforcing, Imparting, Rewarding, Disciplining.
Psychology
of Persuasion.
What do we do now?
Keep Learning Start Application Process
Psychology
of Persuasion.
IMPERFECTION
Disorganized Closet Scratch on the car Something imperfect Is it important enough Is the situation important Is it the right battle The Mistake The Argument The Lost Opportunity Irrelevant Details
Will it Matter
You don’t understand Confusion Cause Responsibility Cause Addiction to Habits Jolt them to Change
It’s Too Fast It’s Too Hard
It’s not a Big Deal A lot of Small Stuff
Choose the battle Simply letting it go
Not caring about customer Not giving the quantity Giving the wrong thing Not holding up the deal
Realizing what matters Argue - Why Confront - Why Fight - Why
Employment Friction They come and go Beginning and Ending Every Tree starts with Seed Every Rock Formed, Every Rock will vanish
Constant Change
Already Broken
Every Car, Machine, Clothing will wear out and crumble its only a matter of when
Relaxed Peaceful Loving
Every Human is born this way and wants to be this way
People Lose It
Uptight Frustrated Stressed Reactive
Little Setbacks
Become Frustrated the opposite of peaceful Mistakes are learning experiences
Evolutionary
All people want safety All people fear fire All people require food All people require water All people want a tribe
Experiences
Most humans learn the difficult way
Emotional control is more important than intelligence Attitude Choices Acts of Kindness Willingness
Emotions
Experiences teach you, right or wrong, how to deal with good and bad Experiences don't always give you the answer
Frenzied pace does not change the fact of you can only do one thing at a time Present Moment Oriented Focused = Effective
One Thing
Be present at what you are doing Concentrate Become Focused Avoid Distraction Become absorbed and interested
Be Present
Skills increase Become Quick Become Effective Your decision to do one thing at a time
Absorbed Interested Activity
Teachers can only teach what they know The World is Flat We cannot fly around the world We cannot fly to the moon
Education
Cant see what you’re talking about, cannot internalize or cannot understand it People count with fingers Some not developmentally ready Different Language
Got the eye for it
Patient Teacher
They must be safe Perspective Compassion Participate in Process
New Relationships with old friends
Don't Overreact Defensive Communication Blaming Others Poor Listening Expectations Behavior Scattered Attention
Never take for granted Show your appreciation Bend over backward to say Thank You Gratitude is very rare, give it freely
Appreciation
Bringing out their best or their worst is a choice
Psychology of Persuasion. CONFIDENTIAL Not for Distribution
Persuasion Principles & Techniques - Boiling Your Own Frogs - Evolutionary Traits, Educational Opportunities, Experience Filters and Emotional Triggers. Bodenhamer Consistency - We all like to maintain some consistency between what we think and do. If I can change what you think I can change what you do in a consistent manner. Investment - If you have really invested in something you will not waste the time or money investment. You have very little or no concern over another's investment. Logic - If something may make sense to you then it must be true. To convince one person might not convince ten people. We are very different but we remain the same at Objectivity - Stand away and remove yourself from the environment, thought or other actions. Standing back will decrease emotion and increase your natural logic to decide. Perception - Perceptions are your reality and the reality of others. Manage other peoples perceptions and you can manage what others see as true or real. Pull - Create the attraction that pulls people closer to you. As people get close they lose their objectivity and can follow your ideas without distraction of other ideas. Repetition - If something happens often enough it must be true. You can eventually persuade or others by repeating thoughts, ideas and words over and over again.
Self Actualization - Achieving Individual Potential
Much of persuasion or changing another's persons mind is based on a few principles. If you understand the principles then you can use the invented techniques.
Gregory Bodenhamer
Alignment - When everything lines up, Contrast - We notice and decide by direct there are no contradictions to cause any difference between two things, not by some disagreements. When people agree on one absolute measures. You are tall because the point than you can move on to the next. other person is short without measure. Amplification - Make the important bits and pieces bigger thus making everything else smaller. Paradox, when both contradictions are true at the exact same time. Appeal - If asked nicely, people follow the rules we have made for ourselves. If you answer the phone they will answer the phone. They copy you at all times. Arousal - When you’re aroused you are fully engaged and hence more likely to pay full attention to all details. Artificial arousal can be accomplished without risk. Association - When our thoughts are mostly connected - You can think one thing and the next thought or action will become automatic without thinking. Assumption - Acting if something is true often makes it true. The truth I may speak becomes the truth over time whether it’s true or not in your mind. Daring - If you really dare me to do all of something, I dare not do it. It’s the real challenge you accept to prove your own worth to other people. Deception - Try convincing by trickery or by using another persons thinking to allow their total persuasion. People become and do exactly what they think about. Dependence - If you are dependent on me I can use this as a lever to persuade you and convince you against your own self good judgements and decisions. Food - Shelter. Distraction - If I can distract your attention I can therefore move around your guarding. You cannot think if you are distracted which allows your confusion.
Evidence - A person cannot deny what they Scarcity - You want what you cannot have. see with their own eyes whether it’s true and You want now what you may not be able to real or not. If you see it you believe it. You get in the future. You will pay and give more doubt what you don’t see yourself. if you think you cannot find it tomorrow.
Attention - Make sure they are listening Exchange - If I do something for you, then Similarity - We trust people who are like before you attempt to engage. Some unique you are obliged to do something for me. If I us or similar to people we like. One friend proposition or conversation to stop another give you a gift then you think about giving may look and act like the other because persons mental process steps. me a gift or some other exchange. similar things make you comfortable. Authority - Use the authority and other people will obey. People understand your authority even though they may disagree with the action steps you require. Experience - You cannot deny what you Specificity - People always fill in the gaps experience for yourself. You cannot deny my in vague statements. My ten words turn into experiences because you were not there and 1,000 words in your mind. What I don’t say have no evidence to exchange. is completed by your own experiences.
Bonding - Friends usually do what other Framing - Meaning depends on context. Substitution - You put people, places and friends want them to do without any Control the context will control the meaning. things into every story. You relate and smart negotiations. Framing the thought gives it texture and dream of things with different people and makes it real. Mental pictures tell all. you substitute one for the other. Closure - Close the door of thinking and the deal is done. Linear end of the road. When you get to Z people can only start over. They do not know another path - non linear. Confidence - If I’m confident then it allows you to be confident. Being correct or right has nothing to do with confidence in any concept or idea or action plans. Confusion - Any drowning person will clutch at a tiny floating straw on the surface of the water. So will a confused one. A persons mental drowning can be caused of prevented Harmony - Go with the flow to build trust Surprise - When what happens is not what and create subtle shifts to change directions you expect to happen, you must rethink your without disturbing the harmony. Ride the understanding. Your new experience was boat until you become captain then steer it. not identical to your last experience. Hurt and Rescue - Make some of them very uncomfortable and then throw them a rope to save them. People love the people that saved them from disaster. Interest - If I’m interested than I will pay attention and the same goes for you. No results really means they are not interested and another technique must be found. Tension - You will react to reduce the tension that I feel. If your deep needs are threatened you will act to protect them. You cannot trust and feel threatened. Trust - If you trust me you will accept the truth and I will expose my vulnerabilities. If I understand you, then I can interact more accurately with you.
Psychological Persuasion is a form of Social Engineering and is presented for the betterment of Human Beings.
Mechanical or Scientific Management of people only works for a short period of time. We need to make better people.
Let’s Get Started
surrounds the process, the people and the organizational structure. The Motivational structure insures that the process, people and organizational structure is rewarded, recognized, educated, properly instructed.
A Motivational structure
F r o gs mans and a b o u t Hu Evidence
mer 2007 Bodenha