"Keys to Family Therapy"
Keys to Family Therapy The concept of the family is a “System.” – Not a Linear model of Causality A => B=> C=> . . . – It speaks of “Circular” Causality A E B D C Keys to Family Therapy Within the system, there are people, but also the RELATIONSHIPS It is in the Relationships that you see the dynamics and the problems of the family. To make it easy on us, in an otherwise complex task of looking at everything: 1. We look at Dyads (two person systems) 2. We look at Triads (three person systems) Keys to Family Therapy Dyads= look at the power and control Triads= look at the “odd man out” Concept of the Scapegoat Concept of the Identified Patient So with this basic use of Systems Theory, we now see “problems” in families in a different light. All Systems Have . . . RULES These rules are communicated through not only what they SAY, but also what they DO. PURPOSE Primary purpose is Survival. STRUCTURE Hierarchy and Patterns in Relationships Added note on STRUCTURE Structure breeds Stability Stability breeds Security – This is what we all want. – It starts with “good structure” – My view is that the Bible has some great things to say about families and “good structure.” – The Family is the first system that God ordained and therefore it has prominence. Structure: Starts with the couple. •THE MARRIAGE PYRAMID: Intimacy Conflict Resolution Communication Psychological Health of Couple Research on Real Families Healthy Profile 1. Legitimate source of authority. 2. Stable rule system. 3. Nurturing Behavior. 4. Effective childrearing and marriage-focusing behaviors. 5. Set of Goals (both family-wide and individual) 6. Flexibility and adaptability to cope. Research on Real Families Emotional Profile 1. Caring and supportive attitudes. 2. Respect for all members and their views. 3. Motivation. 4. High level of initiation. 5. Strong marital/parental coalition with boundaries. 6. Individuality balanced by cooperation. 7. Congruent methods. 8. Ability to express affection. 9. Spontaneity and humor. Doing Therapy I like to keep the first interview very structured. Interview the whole family, if possible. Focus on Communication: BUT NOT CONTENT LISTEN FOR PROCESS Make a note as to who has the POWER. Be confident, positive, and in control. 1st Interview Social Phase Problem Phase Interaction Phase Goal Setting Phase Task Setting Phase – Involves use of Directives • Front-door: behavioral and basic communication • Back-door: utilizes the family’s resistance Assessing the Family’s Problem The family is BLOCKED. • Simple and straightforward • Help them past the Hurdle There is DISPLACEMENT. • Scapegoat and Identified Patient issues • Help them to see the True Problem There is DAMAGE. • On the issues of Structure, Rule, or Purpose • Help them truly become a NEW SYSTEM If Blocked . . . Teach them what they need. • Behavioral interventions • Parenting skills (discipline and nurturing) • Marriage maintenance practices • Connecting with any other institutions – Educational services – Social Services – Churches • Communication skills • Genograms If Displacement . . . Help them to see the patterns. • Dyads: Symmetrical Escalation and Pathological Complementarity • Triads: Triangulation • Seek to balance the relationships • The “symptom” is held by the family to keep their family together • Issue a “block,” a “strategic question,” or a “reframe” If there is Damage . . . Help them to “Re-structure” • Challenge family norms • Clarify boundary issues (disengagement and enmeshment) Help them with New Rules • Increase Awareness and Introduce New Choices Help them with a New Purpose • Reframing the context or emotional output • Use of Paradoxical Interventions Biblical Principles Original Design: Marriage “Works” After the Fall: Marriage “Becomes Work” The Promise: Marriage “Will Work Again” But for the Present: We must keep “Working to Make it Work” “Working” at what? Commitment (permanence) Value Your Spouse’s Uniqueness Different, but Necessary Nurture Your Friendship Grow towards each other, as you both grow closer to God. Leave you with a quote: “Husbands, live your lives in such a way, that you would be the kind of man a woman could LIVE for, and wives, live your lives in such a way, that you would be the kind of woman a man would DIE for.