Standard Fart
The Standard fart is quite simply an average
every day fart suitable for most events and in
the company of most everyone. It is dry in
nature, but rarely exhibits a bouquet that will
inspire jealousy among friends or co-workers.
It belongs to the same family as The Ripper,
and often times only lacks a bit of confidence
and pressure to achieve this next level. An
example of the standard fart may be heard
by clicking the button below.
Click to hear example
The Nervous Fart
The Nervous Fart is only executable
intentionally by farting masters, as it is
normally a reaction to an unpleasant
situation rather than something you can
practice. You may have heard one of these
at a kindergarden concert or during a
company meeting where layoffs were
mentioned. One of the characteristics of
this fart is the high pitch at the end caused
by the clamping of butt cheeks once it is
heard by the nervous culprit.
The Cough-Fart Combo
The Cough-Fart Combo is a premeditated
activity undertaken by one trying to mask his
activities. This technique is often used in the
presence of women; especially those who don’t
understand that farts are funny.
Warning: The Cough-Fart Combo can be a
double edged sword, especially when your
timing is a bit off, or the fart lasts longer
than expected!
The Wet One (AKA-Stickey Fart)
The Wet One will score you huge points with
the lads. Mostly because they’re hoping you
just shit yourself. The wet one is often
followed by an inspection of one’s underpants
for damage. The Sticky One is funny for all
but the perpetrator, and usually always
results in the need for some clean-up.
The Power Fart
This fart is very standard and dry in nature
but is, as mentioned earlier, pushed out with a
bit more confidence. It is usually quite well
respected if it is heard by unsuspecting
passers-by or blown in a church or quiet place.
It is especially effective when used to
punctuate the last word of a boring speaker’s
lecture.
The Soprano
This fart is difficult to describe. It is quite
high pitched in nature, and often times is
associated with a tingling vibratory feeling in
the crotch area. It can be used to
significantly lengthen a ripper or standard
fart if you are going for duration.
The Ripper
My personal favourite: The Ripper.
It is strong, intense and gives you a good
deal of confidence that all have enjoyed
or at least experienced it.
It is not only loud, and with variable
tones, but carries with it the reputation
as being quite stinky. This one is ideally
suited for a car journey, especially with
child-lock electric windows.
Baby, did you just rip a
Fart?
Yes!
Good
one...
Standard
Nervous
Cough-Fart Combo
Wet One (Sticky One)
Power
Soprano
Here you can play with all of them!
Ripper