Learning Center
Plans & pricing Sign in
Sign Out

Sargent gambles Suffolk away



        VOLUME 70, NUMBER 20                                              WWW.SUFFOLKJOURNAL.NET                                                             April 1, 2010

Ride Along busts eight-year-old's party
                               Police cite rowdy game of musical chairs
Rusty Shackleford                                                                                                                                   hood Response head Richard
Journal Contributor                                                                                                                                 Grealish released this state-
                                                                                                                                                    ment: “It is in our best inter-
                                                                                                                                                    est to investigate any noise we
    The Suffolk Ride Along                                                                                                                          may hear on the street or calls
Program and the Boston Police                                                                                                                       we receive. Until we arrive on
Department were caught with                                                                                                                         the scene, we have no way of
cake on their faces last Saturday                                                                                                                   knowing what kind of party is
night after responding to a noise                                                                                                                   going on. Most of the time it is
complaint on Myrtle St. in Bea-                                                                                                                     college students drinking un-
con Hill. What they perceived                                                                                                                       derage and we must keep them
to be college party turned out to                                                                                                                   safe as well as our surround-
be a slumber birthday party for                                                                                                                     ing neighbors and community.”
eight-year-old Susie O’Brien.                                                                                                                            Beacon        Hill     resi-
    “I was shocked to find police                                                                                                                   dents, especially those with
when I answered the door,” said                                                                                                                     young      children,    disagree.
Susie’s father, David O’Brien.                                                                                                                           “There is no reason that
“I thought it was the clown.”                                                                                         Photo by thelazydba/ flickr   Suffolk University and their
    Apparently the “noise” the                                                                                                                      friends in the Boston police
                                       Children having fun at a birthday party moments before it came to an abrupt end.
police were drawn to was a                                                                                                                          should have any authority
rowdy game of musical chairs.       completely ruined my little         is terrified. She cried the rest of        “Not only did they con-          over how much noise our chil-
“We didn’t even think the mu-       sweetie’s party. Why can’t Suf-     the day, didn’t want to touch her     fiscate the juice boxes, but          dren make,” said Terry Bitias,
sic was that loud, but when         folk University stay out of our     presents and she screams every        that Grealish guy and the             mother of seven-year-old Mi-
you have a bunch of scream-         business? If we want to throw       time he sees a pig on the street.”    rest of the cops helped them-         chael. at the Myrtle St. play-
ing eight-year-olds, it can get     a loud party for our daugh-              According to the police          selves to food and complete-          ground yesterday. “In our own
crazy,” said Susie’s mother,        ter, we should be able to!”         report, three crates of Welch’s       ly devoured the cake before           homes, we can make as much
Coco. “But, we were playing             The after-effects are far       grape juice boxes were confiscat-     we even sang,” said David.            noise as we want playing musi-
music for children, not some        greater than parental rage, how-    ed, along with bottles of Sprite,          Instead of admitting the         cal chairs. I wish Suffolk would
loud college gangster rap. They     ever. Coco added, “Now Susie        and IDs of parents were taken.        mistake, Office of Neighbor-          stay out of our business.”

        nside                       Sargent gambles Suffolk away

                                    Turd Fergusen                       awry if players are not fully         ties in China and begin expan-        Trustees voted unanimously
                                    Journal Contributor                 aware of the rules of the game.       sion plans into Chinatown.”           yesterday to give $3.9 million
                                                                             “He said he knew what he              President    Sargent       and   pensions to their new mem-
News                                     President     David
                                    gent has lost Suffolk Univer-
                                                                 Sar-   was doing,” said former Vice
                                                                        President for External Affairs,
                                                                                                              John Nucci were the first to be
                                                                                                              laid off by the new adminis-
                                                                                                                                                    bers, Shi Ning and Nong Jin
                                                                                                                                                    Hui, who have recently moved
"Karl Hoffman shot by Dick
                                    sity and his own wallet is          the now-unemployed John               tration, and Sargent, having          to Boston from Hong Kong.
Cheney" pg. 3
                                    $2.8 million lighter after he       Nucci. “He didn’t. He didn’t.”        bet his retirement, can now be            “It’s important to show our
                                    allegedly doubled down on                Suffolk will now be ful-         found in front of the Red Hat,        appreciation for the hard work
                                    a fatal game of Shing-hai sa-       ly owned and operated by              where he has taken over Spare
                                                                                                                                                    they’ve done,” said interim
                                    bu shing over spring break.         Triad Society, the infamous           Change guy’s responsibili-            chairwoman Carol Sawyer
"The woman column" pg. 6                 During a weekend trip to       Chinese organized crime cir-          ties (see the Sports section for      Parks. “These guys work hard
                                    Las Vegas with Vice President       cuit. Leaders include judg-           more about Spare Change guy).         and they deserve every penny.”
                                    Nancy Stoll, Provost Barry          es, politicians and lawyers.               Vice President Stoll, who            No word yet has been

Arts &                              Brown, and the Board of Trust-
                                    ees, President Sargent apparent-
                                                                             Provost Brown is optimis-
                                                                        tic about the shift, although
                                                                                                              many hope will be promoted to
                                                                                                              President by the new adminis-
                                                                                                                                                    given on whether Suffolk will
                                                                                                                                                    be sold on the black market
Entertainment                       ly got into the heated card game
                                    with a group of Chinese busi-
                                                                        he is concerned that his po-
                                                                        sition in the University ad-
                                                                                                              tration, said that she is still up-
                                                                                                              set with President Sargent for
                                                                                                                                                    in the “combat zone” in Chi-
                                                                                                                                                    natown again next month, al-
"They Seriously Bent! Seri-
                                    ness men who later revealed         ministration may be at risk.          betting the University and that       though rumors persist that,
ously..." pg. 4                     they were members of the Triad.          “I think Triad will fit in       he owes her “over $15,000.”           along with two Bently's the 10
                                         Shing-hai sa-bu shing, a       well with us,” he told The Jour-           “You know I’m nev-               West St. dorms’ occupants, and
Sports                              popular game that involves
                                    elements of poker, mahjong
                                                                        nal in a video that showed the
                                                                        Provost with his hands tied be-
                                                                                                              er going to get that mon-
                                                                                                              ey back now,” said Stoll.
                                                                                                                                                    the sushi chefs in the Donahue
                                                                                                                                                    Café, the University’s buildings
"Seeking his degree, James
                                    and roulette and that opts for      hind his Brookstone massage                Besides being totally bank-      will be up for bidding soon.
enrolls at Suffolk" pg. 8
                                    jelly beans instead of the tra-     chair. “Now we can open up            rupt and owned by notori-
                                    ditional chip, can often go         more study abroad opportuni-          ous mafia bosses, the Board of
     PAGE 2                                                                                                        April 1, 2010

news                                                Karl Hoffman shot by
                                                        Dick Cheney
BRIEFS                                            Farkas Bulkmeier
                                                  Journal Contributor
                                                       Suffolk     Junior,
                                                  Hoffman, President of Suf-
                                                  folk GOP is the latest vic-
                                                                                      ed for his gunshot wound.
                                                                                          Hoffman’s physician, Dr.
                                                                                      Morty Goldsteinberg, said that
                                                                                      the bullet entered Hoffman’s
                                                                                      left buttock and remained
                                                                                      lodged there until it was re-
                                                                                                                         be spending time with some-
                                                                                                                         one that has done so much for
                                                                                                                         this country and who helped
                                                                                                                         to keep us safe for so many
                                                                                                                         years—first as Secretary of De-
                                                                                                                         fense and then as Vice Presi-

                                                  tim of Fmr. Vice President          moved during surgery. He is ex-    dent—was a dream come true.”
                                                  Dick      Cheney’s       Shotgun.   pected to make a full recovery.         This shooting marks sec-
                                                       The incident occurred Sat-         “At least he didn’t get        ond one in four years for the
                                                  urday morning after Hoffman         the right one,” said Hoff-         former Vice President—the
                                                  was invited by Cheney to go         man, joking about his right-       first one occurring in 2006
                                                  hunting with him as an effort       leaning political affiliation.     while he was still in office. The
Wednesday, March 24                               to reach out to young
                                                  Republicans across the
                                                                                                                                   first victim, 78-year-
                                                                                                                                   old Harry Whitting-
7:23 a.m.                                         country. Cheney alleg-
                                                                             "...the bullet entered Hoff-                          ton, a campaign con-
                                                  edly mistook Hoffman                                                             tributor, was shot
10 West
Unicorn spotted by residents on the fifth floor
                                                  for a deer and shot
                                                  him in the left buttock.
                                                                            man’s left buttock and re-                             with birdshot that hit
                                                                                                                                   his face and chest dur-
on 10 West St. Nothing found. Report filed.            Witnesses say that  mained lodged there until it                            ing a quail hunt on a
                                                  Cheney seemed not                                                                ranch in South Texas.
                                                  to realize, or admit    was removed during surgery."                                  “At least I got
8:48 a.m.                                         that he shot a per-                                                              off lighter that guy,”
                                                  son instead of a dear.                                                           said     Hoffman.     “I
Law School                                             “He       shouted,                                                          mean,       that    guy
Medical call for a student who argued him-        ‘Look at the size of that deer!’        Hoffman was chosen out of      got     shot    in    the   face.”
self into a coma discussing the health care       before running away into the        hundreds of GOP Presidents in           Whittington decided not to
bill. EMS on scene. Report filed.                 woods,” said Park Ranger            the nation to go on the exclu-     press charges, but Hoffman is
                                                  Bobby Hunter. “He runs sur-         sive hunting trip with Cheney.     not yet sure about his course of
                                                  prisingly fast for an old guy           “I was so honored to be        action. “It was just an accident,”

Thursday, May 25                                  that’s had five heart attacks.”
                                                       Cheney’s       whereabouts
                                                                                      invited by Vice President
                                                                                      Cheney,” said Hoffman, ly-
                                                                                                                         he said. “But it has happened
                                                                                                                         twice now and I wouldn’t want
8:48 a.m.                                         are currently unknown, but          ing on his right side in a hos-    it to happen to someone else.”
Law School                                        one     witness,    ten-year-old    pital bed. “I got a call from           If Hoffman does decide to
Woman arrested for screaming about the            Walt Lloyd, claims to have          his secretary about a month        press charges it will be difficult,
                                                  seen Cheney just before he          and she told me that [Cheney]
sky falling. Law students on scene to help                                                                               as Cheney is nowhere to be seen.
                                                  disappeared. “He was run-           was had been looking at dif-            “Weajhfasdlfkjas,”       said
her case. Report filed.                           ning through the woods and          ferent school’s GOP clubs and      Hoffman as the morphine
                                                  all the sudden he turned into       was impressed with ours.”          kicked in during an inter-
                                                  this weird black mist and then          He added that he is an         view with the Journal. “ls
Friday, May 26                                    vanished. It was really scary.”     avid hunter and jumped at the      ngdslnvlvnrsbnhadsfjpogj
                                                       Hoffman      was      admit-   invitation to go hunting with      ;nadsk;lvmsfnsadk;lgasgjk
8:51 p.m.                                         ted to Mass. General Hos-           Cheney and other high profile      ;lagh SHOT IN THE ASS.”
Ridgeway Bookstore                                pital where he was treat-           Republicans in the state. “To
Units called for a homeless man making
clothes out of economics books. BPD notified.
Report filed.
                                                    Billy Dee Williams selected as
                                                   commencement speaker for 2010
Saturday, May 27                                  Aggro Crag                          tant issues as halting global           Student affairs spokesman,
                                                  Journal Contributor                 warming on Hoth and control-       Senni Tonnika, told the Journal
                                                                                      ling the Taunton population.       that “[Carlissian] was the obvi-
1:14 a.m.
                                                                                          Carlissian is an intergalac-   ous choice as the commence-
10 Somerset                                            According to the Univer-       tic hero: he went undercover       ment speaker. His leadership
Group drunk in public with excessive party        sity, actor Billy Dee Williams      to rescue fellow Alliance pilot    and bravery are admirable
paraphernalia and farm animals outside 10         will reprise is epic Star Wars      and friend Han Solo from infa-     qualities we all can learn from.”
                                                  role as Lando Carlissian as the
Somerset Street. Report filed.                                                        mous Tatooine organized crime      Bib Fortuna, a political science
                                                  commencement speaker to the         leader Jabba the Hutt; and lead    major on schedule to graduate
                                                  2010 graduating class. Carlis-      the second attack in a success-    this spring spoke enthusiasti-
                                                  sian, a general in the Rebel Al-    ful mission to once again blow     cally when told the news. “I
                                                  liance, has not been portrayed
Sunday, May 28                                    by Billy D. since Return of the
                                                                                      up the Death Star and destroy
                                                                                      the Empire for good. Neither
                                                                                                                         can’t believe we got such a fan-
                                                                                                                         tastic speaker this year. What-
                                                  Jedi. He did, however recently      Billy D. nor Carlissian have a     ever he speaks about, I’m sure
9:02 a.m.                                         provide the voice to Lando          college degrees themselves, but    it will be better than what the
                                                  on Adult Swim’s stop-motion
Public                                            parody show, Robot Chicken
                                                                                      they were thrust into real life    fart Kopple spoke about at the
Optimus Prime spotted walking on Tremont          and ran for leader of the galaxy
                                                                                      and their experiences should       last graduation.” said Fortuna.
                                                                                      be beneficial wisdom to the        “Being more polite to each oth-
Street. Report filed.                             against Emperor Palpatine. He       new graduates as they join         er? What a f*cking cop-out.”
                                                  campaigned on such impor-           the working world (or don’t).
        PAGE 3                                                                                                                          December 9, 2009

Mitch Vieira's secret Venus Williams replaced by a cyborg
 identity revealed programmed to destroy Suffolk
 'Bearded Vigilante' cleans up                                           Emerson's 'Tightpants Underground' suspected
       streets of Boston                                                Gunther Humperdink               tually making. We had no idea
                                                                                                         what the cyborg was going to
                                                                                                                                       where she was exposed to actu-
                                                                                                                                       al music. The hospital released
                                                                         Journal Contributor
Pete Kachu                          suit was co-produced by Ar-                                                                        that she had been exposed to
                                                                                                         be used for. Plus, it was a chal-
                                    mani and Vieira. The technolo-            By checking SU Mail at     lenge to make, which is alwaysextensive amounts of Drop
Journal Contributor
                                    gy is classified by the U.S. gov-   any point in the day, the stan-  fun. I hope no one got hurt.” Dead Gorgeous and The Devil
     Junior Mitch Vieira, the re-   ernment and cannot be printed.      dard Suffolk student knows the       The Tightpants Under-     Wears Prada, which could have
cently elected SGA president             Vieira, although recently      name Venus Williams. Little do   ground’s     terrorism        completely melted her mind.
for the fall of 2010, was spot-     being discovered as a super-        they know that Williams has      has attacked Suffolk be-          “Thank        goodness       for
ted behind the Donahue build-       hero, has been up to fight-         recently been outed as a cyborg  fore. The Suffolk mascot,     her rescue,” said hospital
ing last night flying away in       ing for justice for over a year.    with diabolical plans to destroy Rammy the Ram, was kid-       nurse Peggy Sue. “Anymore
an armor-plated suit while his      Random accounts of bystand-         Suffolk from the inside out.     napped last year and tortured.exposure to that lousy ex-
facial hair shed divine light       ers who have been left dumb-              Cyborg Williams’ original      “The acts of terrorism to-cuse for music would have
upon the streets of Boston.         founded by their rescues mug-       plan was to drown students       wards Suffolk by the Tight-   surely put her into an irre-
     “It was like he was a su-      gings and theft all point to        in mass amounts of unneces-      pants Underground are un-     versible state of vegetation.”
perhero or something,” said         Vieira. One man in Downtown         sary emails about happenings     called for and a fierce comment   The Cyborg Williams Proj-
Peter Tulip, a resident of Tem-     Crossing said that Vieira saved     around campus. With too much     on today’s youth,” said Vice  ect was luckily caught, stopped
ple Street. “I was just walk-       him from a gang of “no good         information, students began to   President Nancy Stoll. Stoll’sand dismantled by the Suf-
ing my dog as normal and I          hooligans” who were going           suffocate, not able to relieve   eyes glossed with tears as    folk Technology Department.
saw a younger man in quite          to jump him. Vieira was said        their inbox-                                                                            “That ter-
the flashy suit, I think it was     to have used his facial hair to     es in time.                                                                        rorist group
probably Armani. All of a sud-      tangle and defeat the hood-               “ T h e                                                                      from Emer-
den his facial hair grew to un-     lums, leaving them for the          sorting was                                                                        son had big
speakable lengths and shone         BPD to collect and interrogate.     driving me                                                                         plans up their
brightly, lighting up the al-            “The interrogations are        insane!”                                                                           sleeves,” said
ley like a lamp. It was eerie.”     surprisingly easy when Vieira       exclaimed                                                                          Bill Jeen, a
     More sightings across Bos-     cleaned up for us,” said Dan-       junior         Fe-                                                                 senior engi-
ton have been reported. Accord-     ish. “It was like there was some    licity Phoe-                                                                       neering ma-
ing to police filings, a bearded    truth serum in the hair fol-        nix. “My SU                                                                        jor.     “After
vigilante has been cleaning up      licles that bound the offenders.    account          is                                                                seeing Venus
the streets of crime, leaving       They confessed immediately.”        linked to my                                                                       spark in the
no traces except long glowing            Current president of the       Gmail          ac-                                                                 hallway, I fig-
hair follicles on the pavement      SGA, Brian LeFort ran into          count. I had                                                                       ured some-
and the criminal’s clothing.        some trouble last year and          to save my                                                                         thing was up.
Vieira is now under question-       was frozen in carbonite by the      Gmail while                                                                        I     ‘acciden-
ing by the police for taking        Suffolk GOP. According to Le-       I      could…                                                                      tally’ spilled
matters into his own hands.         Fort, someone in a flashy suit      My SU mail                                                                         water on her
     “We appreciate the help,”      and glowing facial hair was         didn’t make                                                                        soon after to
said Officer Paul Danish of         the one who rescued him from        it…” Phoe-                                                                         see the ef-
the Boston Police Department.       his impending doom. “All was        nix          then                                                                  fects. She be-
“But we have an obligation          dark, and then all of a sud-        burst         into                                                                 gan to show-
and a duty. It’s like this guy      den I could feel the air on my      tears         and                                                                  er      sparks,
is trying to be Batman. We          face again. I was blind at first,   ran        away                                                                    caught      fire
can handle our jobs just fine.”     but as my eyesight returned, I      from           the                                                                 in a hallway
     The public does not agree.     could see a figure standing in      i n t e r v i e w.                                                                 in the Ar-
Vieira has stirred up the stu-      front of me, glowing in some              T h e                                                                        cher building
dent body at Suffolk and has        sort of aura,” recalls LeFort.      real Venus                                                                         and stopped
even begun to receive a cult             With all of the support,       Williams                                                       Photo by Bill Jeen
“fan club” like following.          however, come haters. Ju-           w h e r e -            The Cyborg Venus Williams (after it caught fire).           Jeen       then
     “His suit is where his real    nior Shannon Shugers open-          abouts have finally been un- she recollected Rammy’s ab- took the disabled cyborg back
gadgets are!” said Tómas Tin-       ly talks about her dislike for      covered after intensive inves- duction. “Poor Rammy…” to the labs to investigate. “The
kle, freshman and advocate for      Vieira. “He’s running around        tigation. Emerson College’s        Venus Williams was found robot was only on phase one
Vieira’s newly discovered night     taking people’s jobs just for       Tightpants Underground ter- in an Emerson dorm closet, in of her attack. The next phase
time occupation. “I’ve seen him     fun. He just wants attention.       rorist group was found re- a coma from being overdosed would have been a virus in the
myself! The suit can morph          He has a rather large beard,        sponsible both for Williams with hipster music. Mitch multiple emails it was spam-
the fibers into a titanium alloy    who cares?” said Shugers.           kidnapping as well as the Vieira, who has recently been ming people with. This virus is
that is very similar to spider           Vieira has not been avail-     Cyborg Williams attack. Due publicized as a “bearded vigi- capable of causing all the Suf-
silk. It hardens with impact but    able for comment on his publi-      to their lack of talent in the lante” and “superhero” was the folk computers, as well as stu-
loosens when Mitch is relaxed.      cized powers. Even though he        math and sciences area, how- rescuer and brought Williams dent’s laptops, to self destruct!”
It’s like it’s a part of him.”      is still in police custody, sup-    ever, the Tightpants Under- to the hospital. Vieira, who is        Cyborg Williams has since
     Unsure if the claims about     port for Vieira’s actions thrives   ground had to enlist the help now in police custody for tak- been contained by the CIA,
Vieira’s suit are true, The Suf-    through the Suffolk commu-          of MIT students in Cambridge. ing matters into his own hands, who caught wind of the dis-
folk Journal did some extensive     nity. Even Provost Barry Brown            “We just heard there was was not available for comment. covery moments after Jeen’s
research on the now dubbed          envies the power Vieira has.        an under-the-table cash pay- The Tightpants Underground discovery. In the meantime,
“super suit”. The Journal con-      “I wish I had facial hair like      ment for our services,” said members have yet to be iden- the real Venus Williams is still
tacted Armani in hopes that         that,” said Brown. “The su-         MIT student and worker on tified and have run into the in musical rehabilitation and is
they would disclose some in-        per suit is pretty cool too.”       the Cyborg Williams Project depths of the Emerson sewers. expected to make a full recov-
formation. With some exten-                                             Dexter Phillips. “It was very      Williams was then hospital- ery within the next few months.
sive digging, it was found the                                          hush-hush on what we were ac- ized and put into music therapy,
         PAGE 4                                                                                                                                     April 1, 2010

They're Seriously Bent! Seriously...
Cairo Practor                      these fine young comedians,”         were optimistic, however, not-       it should be a lot easier with my
                                                                                                                                                  cidences. Emerson Comedy
Journal Staff                      Huxtable stated, adding, “Fraz-      ing that physical deformities        deformed shoulder blades.”
                                                                                                                                                  Workshop was recently as-
                                   zle snazzle bleeble babble goo       can be a great source of come-            Ironically, the diagnosis of
                                                                                                                                                  saulted by a group of large
     In a shocking revelation,     goo ca chu jello pudding pops!”      dy. “We’ve got some great jokes      scoliosis on the cast of SB has
                                                                                                                                                  men in capes wielding folding
the entire cast of Suffolk Uni-        Scoliosis affects seven mil-     planned based on our new-            some players thinking that the
                                                                                                                                                  chairs. Boston College’s improv
versity’s improv comedy                                                                                                  affliction could ac-
                                                                                                                                                  troupe, Asinine, all recently
troupe, Seriously Bent,                                                                                                  tually be a bless-
                                                                                                                                                  broke their tailbones when
have been diagnosed                                                                                                      ing in disguise.
                                                                                                                                                  their bus crashed, and Liquid
with scoliosis, a degen-                                                                                                 “There were all
                                                                                                                                                  Fun, the improv comedy troupe
erative back disease that                                                                                                these competitions
                                                                                                                                                  of Boston University, recently
causes     chronic     pain.                                                                                             for disabled people
                                                                                                                                                  had to cancel a performance
     “We’re all so shocked                                                                                               that we wanted to
                                                                                                                                                  due to the entire cast com-
that this would happen                                                                                                   competed in, but
                                                                                                                                                  ing down with a severe case
simultaneously, since sco-                                                                                               couldn’t       qualify
                                                                                                                                                  of Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
liosis usually first appears                                                                                             for before, because
                                                                                                                                                       Reaction to this unfortu-
during adolescence,” said                                                                                                none of us were
                                                                                                                                                  nate situation has been mixed.
Seriously Bent player                                                                                                    disabled,” said Rob-
                                                                                                                                                  “Getting IBS is the funniest
Christian Roberts, as                                                                                                    erts. Seriously Bent
                                                                                                                                                  thing Liquid Fun has ever
he hunched over like a                                                                                                   has been sweeping
                                                                                                                                                  done. I wish I could have been
Quasimodo. “My only                                                                                                      competitions       on
                                                                                                                                                  there to see that. Be there to
hope is that we can still                                                                                                the disabled im-
                                                                                                                                                  see it, but not smell it,” said
compete in nationals.”                                                                                                   prov comedy cir-
                                                                                                                                                  Seriously Bent alumnus Nick
     Dr. Huxtable, the                                                                                                   cuit since the onset
                                                                                                                                                  Wilson, adding, “I recently
Chief of Medicine at Suf-                                                                                                of scoliosis on the
                                                                                        Photo courtesy of the Internet                            went to visit ECW in the hos-
folk University’s Student                                                                                                group. SB recently
Health Services, was A current photo of Seriously Bent,                showing how short Livingston now is.                                       pital, they left me in stitches,”
                                                                                                                         took home the gold
                                                                                                                                                  he said while laughing hys-
duped by the recent turn of lion people nationally. Symp-               found appalling mutations; in the Boston Improv Special
                                                                                                                                                  terically,      adding,“Stitches!
events. (Get it?! Turn?! Back toms of the spinal curvature              Kelly Dooley’s got this great Olympics, in addition to plac-
                                                                                                                                                  It’s a play on words!”
curvature?!) “There really is no associated with scoliosis in-          routine going where she plays ing first in the Funny Mutants
scientific explanation for how clude uneven musculature on              this woman who can’t find her of America Finals and the
this could have possibly hap- one side of the spine, rib and            own tits. Christian’s got this God’s Most Hilarious Mistakes                  Seriously Bent’s next show,
pened. For years, the medical shoulder blade prominence,                hysterical muscle spasm rou- competition in Salt Lake City.               Back to Basics, is being performed
community has assumed pretty uneven hips or leg lengths,                tine going,” said player Trevor           Remarkably, a number of         at the C. Walsh Theatre on April 20.
safely that you can’t wake up and asymmetric size or lo-                Livingston, adding, “I’m going other college improv troupes
with a spinal disorder, but ap- cation of breasts in females.           to incorporate some popping have become injured in a star-
parently, this is the case with      Members of Seriously Bent          and locking into my shows now, tlingly bizarre chain of coin-

[censored] to perform at next PC event
Carles                             blasted throughout the night         decided to mix it up with real       said Mulholland. “We’ve           claimed “I LOVE CREED!”
Journal Staff                      with such messages as "OMG           bands and acts that are a lot        made sure that to open A***       Boyle, the world’s most avid
                                   IM RITE NEXT 2 SEAN KING-            more raw than Kingston, Gym          C**** up to all the A**** C****s  Creed fan, has already contact-
    Last Monday, Suffolk Uni-      STIN!!" and "GIRL TALK IS            Class Heroes, or Jason Mraz.”                                                              ed the bands
versity’s Program Council an-      ON ACID." But as the Journal              A**l C***, which formed in                                                            playing for a
nounced their next event, one      found out, Program Council           West Newton, Massachusetts,                                                                chance to sing
that is sure to shake up the       had actually been reluctant          is no stranger to playing base-                                                            his   favorite
student body. The spring con-      to book Girl Talk the year be-       ments. As a grindcore band,                                                                song, “With
cert, which will take place on     fore, and when the Journal ap-       students should expect to have                                                             Arms     Wide
April 17, will feature such acts   proached an unnamed former           their "f******* ears raped while                                                           Open,”       at
as the bands F**ked Up, The F      PC member, his response was          people are punching them in the                                                            the PC event.
U s, and headliner A*** C***.      puzzled when asked about             skulls and pushing them into                                                                   “We can’t
According to PC president          exactly who Girl Talk was.           f******* walls." “We expect at                                                             wait for A***
Alison Mulholland, the show             “Who?” said the unnamed         least half of the students attend-                                                         C*** to open
will take place in a dank base-    former PC member. This is            ing to be bleeding by the end of                                                           up so many
ment at the corner of China-       when Mulholland decided to           the night,” said Mulholland.                                                               new     things
                                                                                                                                     Photo by Flickr user Fay(ola)
town and Downtown Crossing.        be on the lookout for bands on            “I cannot wait to see A***                                                            for us, it’s
    “We cannot wait for this       the rise, so that they could book    C***,” said Suffolk junior Co-          It's Sean Kingston in a car, heck yes!!!! like this show
show, which will be sure to        them before the mainstream           lin Brown. “When I listen to         that come to our shows, we’ve will be the climax of the se-
draw out many f*****d up c***s,    took them on. This way, stu-         A*** C*** I like to run around       ordered all the bands to play mester, pushing everything
who always attend our pro-         dents of the University could        my room punching holes in            only covers of Dave Mat- into it so that when it’s over,
grams,” said Mulholland. “Last     truly say that they’ve seen a        the walls while tucking (con-        thews Band and Creed, which we can all rest until the next
semester, we had Sean Kings-       real band, not some button-          tent deleted) between my legs        we know are the favorites time, when someone else will
ton and Girl Talk at the House     pressing druggie or beauti-          like in Silence of the Lambs.        of all the Suffolk students.” be coming,” said Mulholland.
of Blues, which was a great suc-   ful girl singing R&B. “We all        I cannot wait to strip down               When this was announced,
cess.” The show was attended       know that R&B isn’t real mu-         and do this at the PC event.”        Suffolk freshman Ryan Boyle             Tickets go on sale at
by many and Twitter accounts       sic,” said Mulholland. “We’ve             “There is a catch though,”      jumped up in joy and ex- the HUB on April 2nd.
        PAGE 5                                                                                                                                      April 1, 2010

'Xcellent!' to be at Suffolk                                                                                                                          staff
Dingle Barry
Journal Staff
                                     the national media and has thus
                                     brought some of the biggest
                                     names in Hollywood out for
                                                                         to recruit one of the biggest
                                                                         names in Hollywood to di-
                                                                         rect to play: Hairspray (New
                                                                                                            of people telling us they were
                                                                                                            excited about the scenes where
                                                                                                            Derek is incarcerated, espe-
    Earlier this week, the the-      auditions. “Michael Richards        Line, 1998) and Pink Flamingos     cially from people in Boston’s
atre department announced            has expressed interest in play-     (Dreamland, 1972) director Jon     performing arts community. It’s
they will be performing a mu-        ing the lead in the play, so has    Waters. Said DeMurcuri, “I was     almost as if they’re excited for
sical adaptation of American         Mel Gibson,” DeMercuri stat-        thinking to myself, there has      the production for those scenes
History X (New Line, 1998),          ed, adding, “Montell Williams       got to be another way we can       and those scenes only…”
the 1998 crime drama about           has expressed interest in play-     make this even more offensive           While the theatre depart-
Neo-Nazi Skinheads in Venice         ing the role of Dr. Sweeney.”       than it already is. And then-      ment wants to keep the details
Beach, California. The musical            There have been, however,      BAM!- it hit me: Jon Waters.”      of the musical out of the public
comedy rendition of the criti-       some problems regarding the         Said Waters of the creative di-    eye until the play is ready to
cally-acclaimed film will be ti-     concern that having a star-stud-    rection he intends to take with    debut, members of the theatre
tled American History: Xcellent!     ded cast will deny current Suf-     the play, “I can’t give away too   department have announced
    “I feel we don’t get to          folk students the opportunity       much regarding my vision for       a partial listing of some of the
cover controversial topics in        to perform in the production.       the production, but I will say     songs that the audience can ex-
                                                                                                                                                             Bon Jovi
musicals enough these days.          Regarding these inquiries, The-     this: these are going to be the    pect to hear throughout the en-
                                                                                                                                                   "You Give Love a Bad Name"
Well, other than AIDS. We do         atre Department spokesperson        most fabulous Nazis to ever        semble. The song list includes
                                                                                                                                                         GET PSYCHED!
talk about AIDS a lot,” stated       David Duke indicated that it        grace a stage. Quentin Taran-      such gems as “White Man Runs
                                                                                                                                                         -Barney Stinson
theatre    department      chair-    will be easy to bystep the uni-     tino, you ain’t got shit on me.”   the Basketball Court,” “Fuck
man Fred DeMercuri, add-             versity’s policy by simply en-          The plot of the musical        Rodney King,” “Corey Mat-
ing, “AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS            rolling the star-studded cast as    closely follows the film, open-    thews has a Racist Dad,” and
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS.”           full-time students for a semes-     ing with the notorious execu-      the grand finale, “It’s All Right if
    For a small, private uni-        ter. When asked if this was fair,   tion scene by Derek Vineyard,      It’s all White.” One of the more
versity, Suffolk has managed         or even allowed, Duke let loose     and from there covering Vine-      memorable dance renditions
to pull some top-notch talent        a string of racial epithets and     yard’s attempts to reach out to    is entitled “Bite the Curb,” in
in the lead parts. Although no       exposed his chest, proclaiming,     his younger brother and dis-       which the chorus sings “Bite the
roles have been confirmed in         “This means not welcome.”           courage him from joining the       curb, bite the curb! You freakin’
casting, members of the the-              In addition to recruiting a    world of Neo-Nazis as he did.      minorities, you never learn!”
atre department have indicated       star-studded cast for the pro-      The prison scenes are expected          Tickets for American His-
that the controversial topic will    duction, the Suffolk Theatre        to be very enticing. Said De-      tory: Xcellent! go on sale
probably grab the attention of       Department has been able            Mercuri, “We’ve gotten a lot       this Friday at the Hub.

ODB back for the children
                                                                                                                                                            "Greatest Hits"
                                                                                                                                                     You'll never catch me NOT
                                                                                                                                                           listening to this!
                                                                                                                                                              -Ryan Boyle

Joe Bananas                          don’t get it twisted ya’ll, it’s    then come back for no reason,     will feature on this much-an-
Journal Staff                        for the children, it’s for the      just to be takin’ the spotlight   ticipated record. “T.I. was gun-
                                     children,” said Jones of his off-   of other niggaz in the game?      nin’ for a spot on the record, I
     After dying in 2004 due to a    stage antics, adding “Ha-                                                                 told     him
massive drug overdose, the re-       hahaha! Wu Tang! Holla!                                                                   we’ll shoot
animated corpse of Russel Ty-        Hurra hurra hurra hurra                                                                   for     some
rone Jones, a.k.a. the Ol’ Dirty     [incoherent       rambling].”                                                             type of col-
Bastard, has announced he is              Reaction among other                                                                 laboration,”
stepping back into the studio to     members of the Wu-Tang                                                                    Dirt Mcgirt
release another studio album.        Clan were mostly positive.                                                                remarked.
     “Don’t call it a come-          “I think it’s great, Dirty get-                                                           “Fiddy said
back,”      said   the    legend-    ting’ back into to the stu-                                                               he was go-
ary Wu-Tang member as he             dio, him doin’ his thing and                                                              ing to get                     GlaDDos
picked maggots out of his            all,” said de facto leader                                                                on the re-                    "Still Alive"
ears, guzzled cognac, and lit        the RZA. “I just hope he                                                                  cord or die         For some reason, this song was
up a crack pipe. “Okay, call it      learns from his mistakes,                                                                 tryin’,    so       playing everywhere during my
a comeback. Skeeee woooo!”           you know, it’s like I be tell-                                                            I’ll    prob-         escape from imprisonment.
     During his lifetime, the        ing’ him, ya gotta protect                                                                ably have                        -Chell
ODB was known for his off-           ya neck.” The GZA credited                                                                him       on.
stage antics as much as his re-      himself for the return of the                                                             DMX said
markable rhyming skills. Be-         formerly deceased emcee.                                                                  he      want-
tween dropping the freshest          “You know, I told Dirty,                              Image courtesy of Adobe Photoshop ed to do
of rhymes, the ODB fathered          there’s some things you got                                                               something,
13 children whom he spo-             to do if you want to come back      That some grimey shit right I told him no, he said X was
radically paid child support         from the dead. It ain’t easy, but   there,” said Mel-Man, add- gonna give it to me, so I
for, was arrested for stealing       you can do it if you listen to      ing, “it almost makes me want guess that ain’t happenin’.”
a $50 pair of sneakers while         these basic instructions before     to sew his asshole shut, and           ODB’s album, tentatively
carrying $500 in cash, inter-        leaving earth,” said the Ge-        keep feeding him, and feed- titled Shimmy shimmy bitch
rupted a speech by P. Diddy          nius, adding, “I’m glad I could     ing him, and feeding him…” give me dat dub sack before I
at the Grammys, and rescued          bring him back into this world,         The ODB has indicated that go upside your head ooga boo-
a little girl from a car accident.   even if it is a cold world.”        he has had a number of other ga booga bitch I’lllll cripple yo                       The Beatles
     “People in the media,                Method Man, however,           high-profile rappers trying to style (Columbia Records) is                          "The Beatles"
ya meen, they be all like, ya        was less than pleased over the      get a guest appearance on his set to drop up in yo bitch ass                     I <3 Helter Skelter
meen, saying, shit, like, erratic    return of the zombie lunatic.       new album, but so far he has whenever Ol’ Dirty motha-                            -Charlie Manson
behavior, and shit, ya meen,         “How you gonna die, stay dead,      made no guarantees about who fuckin’ feels like it. Recognize.
        PAGE 6                                                                                                                                    April 1, 2010

Alert the masses! 2012 is true The Woman Column
                                     Boehner said, “If some little kid     man and Rush Limbaugh.                 Ethel Long                           spawned Latin greats like Ricky
Mac A. Roni
Journal Contributor                  somewhere is getting those pre-       When asked why Glenn Beck              Journal Staff                        Martin. Roberts told me he had
                                     scriptions to cure his ass-mar,       was not on the list, Obama said,                                            been studying the band for the
     Health     care    reform/      why can’t I get free tanning          “He’s actually making a pretty              This column has been gain-      last month, dancing and perfect-
Armageddon is upon us!!              from taxpayer dollars?! I say         good meal for my dog, Bo.”             ing speed lately, and I’m very       ing the moves. Recently, Roberts
     Could it be? Yes, it’s          SUCKS TO YOUR ASS-MAR!”                    As another result of the bill,    excited for this week’s column       has been spotted taking several
true. Our President, Barack               In addition to the horrible      the government will start tak-         ladies! Now, all of you at the       Flamenco dancing classes, fur-
Obama (Socialist Party-IL),          acts Congress committed by            ing over the system of Medicare        hair salon have told me how          ther expanding his body move-
actually cares about people          passing the health care reform        and Medicaid in this country.          your mothers have been so ex-        ments to other types of dance.
who are sick; can you believe        bill, there was a student loan re-    Oh wait… that’s not a joke...          cited to read the column on-              Walking down the hallway
that?! I can’t. Why should he?       form as well. President Obama              Health care economists            line each week, as they give         of the fourth floor, I spotted Mike
     You know the people who         CLAIMS this will lower the            also conducted a study call-           their dogs pedicures and order       Gesualdi and Alex Williams,
can’t afford health insurance?       burden on college kids every-         ing for the repeal of Obam-            their peapod service from Stop       who host their show, “Wild
There are 32 million people          where, cutting out the bank as        acare; the results are as follows:     and Shop. Well, this week, the       Wednesdays,” from 7-8 every
without it, plus                                                                                   “If we re-     Woman Column is all about            Wednesday. The show has been
95 percent who                                                                                peal this legis-    men! Yes, men men men, you           gaining popularity in the last
will be eligible;
but guess what?        Republican Minority Leader                                             lation, millions
                                                                                              of people will
                                                                                                                  love them, you hate them, you
                                                                                                                  love to play with their emotions
                                                                                                                                                       few weeks. As they were finish-
                                                                                                                                                       ing up, Gesualdi kept on check-
They don’t de-
serve it! Our
                    John Boehner has stated that he                                           die, which is,
                                                                                              quite frankly,
                                                                                                                  for your own personal gratifica-
                                                                                                                  tion. We all know that men are
                                                                                                                                                       ing his phone. I asked him what
                                                                                                                                                       was up, and he said that he was
tax dollars are     will give up tanning because his                                          a good meth-        just pawns in the game of life,
                                                                                                                  and that it doesn’t matter if they
                                                                                                                                                       going to be late for the showing
                                                                                                                                                       of Dirty Dancing down at the
going to bet-
ter the society      health insurance plan will not                                           od of popula-
                                                                                              tion     control;   have feelings or not, but I’ve       Coolidge Corner Theater. Ge-
around us, and
kids too! Kids!
                                 cover it.                                                    millions will
                                                                                              die out, and
                                                                                                                  been having a couple of good
                                                                                                                  conversations with some of
                                                                                                                                                       sualdi told me that since he first
                                                                                                                                                       watched the movie at the age of
     The    Con-                                                                              we         won’t    the top men at this university,      nine, he had been in love with
gressional Bar-                                                                               have to wor-        and I’ve figured out that they       the sensual, provocative film.
becue Office has predicted that      the middle man between you            ry about the government                actually have quite the emo-         It really touched him, so much
the Health care bill will actu-      and your government loans.            spending so much money                 tional, estrogen-fueled, femi-       that he can sometimes be heard
ally skyrocket the deficit by        What Obama didn’t tell you was        on them. It’s quite simple.”           nine side to them. Men have          reciting Swayze’s lines through-
$6,000 bajillion. Yes, bajillion.    that you actually need to visit            When Nancy Pelosi was             feelings too, and when they’re       out the fourth floor of Donahue.
The CBBQO could not provide          the White House every week            asked how she got the votes, she       feeling down, they go to cer-             “Where the f*** is Ryan
me with any additional statis-       until you graduate and sip on         didn’t answer, mainly because          tain extents to comfort them-        Boyle?!” It seems as if Boyle is
tics because they were too busy      his delicious kool-aid...mmm...       her face was too stiff to talk from    selves. These, my friends, are       a wanted man, a guilty pleasure
chowing down on ribs and             kool-aid...all while drafting         all those Botox injections. Her re-    what we call “guilty pleasures.”     in himself. Many of the mem-
steak, knowing they will be cov-     up his “real” birth certificate.      sponse was simple; she clapped              This entire investigation       bers of Suffolk University have
ered by the new health plan...            If that isn’t bad enough,        her seal-like hands together           started last week as I was talking   found comfort in the Freshman
     Meanwhile,      Republican      President     Obama      actually     and started rolling around on a        to Suffolk GOP President Karl        from Wellesley. In the residence
Minority Leader John Boehner         signed an executive order in-         ball inside the House Chamber.         Hoffman outside of the Dona-         halls, “Sexy Ryan” is usually
has stated that he will give up      stituting death panels for the             At least she didn’t throw         hue Building. We were discuss-       the subject of conversation. In
tanning because his health in-       following individuals: Nancy          her gavel...Heeeeeeey Presi-           ing his upcoming hunting trip        the Donahue building? Many
surance plan will not cover it.      Pelosi, Joe Biden, Sarah Palin,       dent LeFort! (Love you).               with former VP Dick Cheney,          presidents of many organiza-
Can you believe that? Today,         Keith Olberrman, Karl Hoff-                                                  and how he hoped Cheney              tions constantly ask for his help,
                                                                                                                  would be safer than he was a         since he is the computer whiz,

Carrots now deemed sickly
                                                                                                                  couple of years ago. Suddenly, I     extraordinaire. However, Boyle
                                                                                                                  heard the sweet sounds of 90’s       has a guilty pleasure of his own:
                                                                                                                  fem-act Alanis Morisette sing-       those living in the dorm on
Faye Kinnit                          drunk the equivalence of what         gone, your friends constantly          ing her song “You Outta Know.”       West Street can constantly hear
Journal Staff                        feels like twice your weight.         tease you while you whine              I asked Karl about this, since it    the sounds of faux-grunge band
                                     When snapping out of the danc-        about the history of the hundred       seemed very out of character         Creed coming from his room.
     We all grew up with our         ing daze in a whirl of blaring        dollars you sacrificed for it. Car-    for him. He answered that ever       As Boyle walks around the city,
parents forcing us to eat veg-       music and flashing lights, you        rots make you sick; this never         since he was young, he had this      his iPod constantly plays “With
etables,    especially    carrots.   notice your face is in the bath-      happens with any other food.           comforting feeling every time he     Arms Wide Open” on repeat.
“They’re good for your eyes!”        room sink above a swamp of or-             Vitamins and minerals in          heard the Canadian's voice. He            So, men have their guilty
they would persist. “They help       ange. You ask yourself why you        carrots benefit the liver... until     also told me that he, every now      pleasures too. Who would’ve
prevent sickness!” In reality,       ate carrots (of all things) before-   they come right back up. Maybe         and then, will watch Degrassi:       known that Nick DiZoglio had
carrots not only make you sick,                                            that’s why carrots are said to de-     The Next Generation just to hear     a thing for Grey’s Anatomy, or
but they also dent your rep.                                               crease obesity. An overdose on         people talking in the same way       that Brian LeFort is so obsessed
     Remember that girl who                                                carrots will not only make you         that Morisette does. Hoffmann’s      with VP Stoll that her face is his
got sick from carrots? Cringing                                            vomit- it can turn your skin or-       favorite character? Manny.           desktop background? Give your
at the thought, she now advises                                            ange. Then you’ll end up as one             Walking back into the build-    men what they want, because
everyone not to eat them. Try                                              of those spray tanorexics you          ing, I found Seriously Bent fun-     we all know they love these
re-living that experience; a busy                                          hate. And you will be judged.          nyman Christian Roberts on the       things, but are just too stubborn
Friday of your life as a college     hand and regret it fully- why              On a brighter note, in            phone. When he got off, I quick-     to come out with it themselves.
student, with no time to eat any-    wouldn’t you? By this point, you      the event you vomit carrots            ly told him about Hoffman’s          This is a call for all men to come
thing decent. Hours into the day,    can barely stumble out of that        when none were consumed,               situation. He said it was pretty     out with their guilty pleasures,
you have a minute to mow a bag       club into which you snuck with        then that orange stuff is sim-         funny, then a book fell out of his   because, who knows, maybe
of carrot sticks in between class    that fake you have... well, had.      ply part of your stomach wall          pocket. The book? The story of       some of them can find wom-
and getting ready to go out for          The next morning, when            lining. Unless you’re a rabbit.        Menudo, the Puerto Rican boy         en who love the same thing.
the night. By ten o’clock, you’ve    you realize your fake really is            Just don’t eat them at all.       band from the early 90’s that
       PAGE 7                                                                                                                               April 1, 2010

                                                                     Poll: Boston, New York have the
Sports briefs                                                        least passionate baseball fans
Rams in the running to join NCAA tournament
    Rumors have been circulating for weeks about the expan-              Fans in Pittsburgh and Kansas City top the list again
sion of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament to include 96
teams, but the issue has now taken on a local significance.                                                stadiums more reminiscent of          some solid fundamental bas-
An NCAA source told the Suffolk Journal on Sunday that                 Tim Naehring                        libraries than rollicking arenas.     ketball; none of that flashy
Suffolk was one of many teams being considered for entry               Journal Staff                            Speaking      with      local    nonsense. I love a good basket-
into the expanded field, a decision that could be an econom-                                               fans from both New York               ball game; baseball bores me.”
ic windfall for the school. Despite being a Division-III school                                            and Boston, there was a                    Felix Potvin, a limo driver,
in athletics, the NCAA cited the school’s proximity to the                 ESPN Sports Poll, which         sense of indifference and al-         was standing on a corner in the
State House as a reason for possibly including the Rams. “To         prides itself on “capturing the       most animosity when they              Bronx wearing a Derek Jeter
be honest, the board of directors was more interested in try-        pulse of sports fans all around       were told of the recent poll.         jersey, but it wasn’t on purpose.
ing to get a guy inside the State House so we could host the         the globe,” recently released              “I honestly don’t care what           “Man, some guy just stole
2015 Final Four in Boston for free,” said the source. “We were       the 2010 edition of its Major         some poll says about love for         my car…he took my shirt and
trying to invite the State House janitors’ basketball team, but      League Teams and their Fans           the game,” explained Jason            hat too,” exclaimed an agitated
the mailman delivered it to the wrong address. Once we saw           poll. This list, compiled by mar-     York, a sports fan at the Great-      Potvin. “This piece of cloth was
how excited Suffolk got, we kind of felt bad about taking the        keters and strategists at ESPN,       est Bar, a hotspot for local deni-    on the ground over there next
invitation away.” Early odds in Las Vegas have the Rams as a         is an industry leader when            zens of Boston. “All I care about     to the dumpster, I figured it
1,000,000-1 shot to win the 2011 men’s basketball championship.      it comes to capturing which           is the Bruins and Patriots, base-     was better than nothing. What
                                                                     teams have the most die-hard          ball isn’t a real sport. I can’t      are the ‘Yankees’, anyways?”
                                                                     enthusiasts, the fans who stick       remember when the last time I              The Red Sox and Yan-
Vick to open animal shelter                                          with their team through thick         went to Fenway Park is. In fact,      kees may have two of the best
    Michael Vick is a changed man. Just a couple of years re-
                                                                     and thin, through gut-wrench-         my buddy Sully offered me             teams in baseball, but their
moved from his imprisonment on dog-fighting charges, Vick
                                                                     ing losses and exciting wins.         tickets to the playoffs last year,    fans don’t seem to have the
has turned over a new leaf: he will be opening a shelter for dogs,
                                                                           Not      surprisingly,    the   and I took them, but no one           love for the game and the en-
wolves and other canines in Georgia, the state where he reached
                                                                     Pittsburgh Pirates and Kan-           wanted to go with me. I ended         thusiasm necessary to watch.
NFL stardom as a member of the Atlanta Falcons. According to
                                                                     sas City Royals topped the            up using them to stop a rattling           With the season starting
the shelter’s website,, Vick started
                                                                     list—the fifth time in the last       window in my apartment.”              and fans around the coun-
the shelter to give back to the community after feeling guilty
                                                                     six years they have been one               Approached by a friend and       try waiting in earnest for an-
about his past actions. His website is seeking specific types of
                                                                     or two in the poll—giving             told that the Sox open up the         other thrilling season of base-
dogs, however, particularly “pit bulls, Rottweilers, gray wolves,
                                                                     these sports-crazed towns             season this Sunday against the        ball, some fans clearly are
coyotes, and other dogs that love a good fight, uh...I mean,
                                                                     a bit more bragging rights.           Yankees, York waved him off.          more prepared than others.
hug.” Vick’s shelter seems to be a bit difficult to find, as the
                                                                           “It doesn’t really surprise          “The Bruins will make                 For the Big Apple and the
website instructs potential customers to “turn left at the pile of
                                                                     me at all,” said Eric Simon, 45,      a run at the end of the sea-          Hub of the Universe, hockey
dog cages, go around to the back of the ominous gray building,
                                                                     a long-time season ticket hold-       son and surprise people in            and football will continue to
knock twice and ask for Dave.” The website also says that all
                                                                     er for the Pirates. “We [the fans]    the playoffs,” he said. “Any-         be the biggest attractions. The
people bringing dogs to the shelter must sign a waiver and pay
                                                                     come to every home game with          thing after that I won’t watch.”      Bruins are battling with the
a $45 fee, as “doggy boxing gloves don’t pay for themselves.”
                                                                     the same intensity, and we are             “Boston just isn’t really a      Rangers and Thrashers for a
                                                                     honored to be recognized. No          baseball town,” said Petr Ten-        playoff seed, and the Jets and
XFL to return in May                                                 matter what happens in my life,       krat, a bartender at Sully’s Tap,     Patriots are headed for an in-
    Hold onto your hats, folks: it’s back. The most popular out-     I know I will always have one         just steps from the TD Garden.        teresting     renewed      rivalry.
law football league in the history of the world will be returning    love—and that’s the Pirates.”         “Last fall, I changed the chan-            Both cities are rich in his-
in May, armed with new rules, new owners and a whole new atti-             Bringing up the rear of this    nel on one of the TV’s from a         tory. Both have successful sport
tude. The XFL, backed by new owners DMX and Busta Rhymes,            widely-viewed and respected           Patriots’ regular season game         franchises that flourish. The
will debut as a four-team league: the Bustaville NeckBreakers,       list, filling out the bottom of the   to a Red Sox playoffs game, and       fans, however, have continued
the Where Tha Hood At? Dogs, the Airport Parking Lot Larceny         spectrum, are the Boston Red          there was bedlam…a group of           to display a low level of passion.
and the Manhattan Weapons Charges. The NFL released a state-         Sox and New York Yankees.             guys threw their beer bottles at           One can’t help but ad-
ment in response to the XFL’s announced return, saying, “The               Widely considered to be         me, I had to duck and cover. Peo-     mire the dedication of the
NFL welcomes back the XFL, and will no longer be playing on          the home of the “least passion-       ple here do NOT like baseball.”       fans of the Pirates and Royals,
days when the XFL has games scheduled. We, as a league, re-          ate” fan bases in all of baseball,         Fans in New York City            two teams with strong tradi-
alize that there is no way we can compete with the XFL, and          neither city seems to capture         echoed the sentiments of              tions and strong fan bases to
respectfully yield to this new upstart league.” As of today, the     the essence of America’s Pas-         their Boston counterparts.            match. Fans in Boston and
XFL is planning to hold its games on Sunday, meaning that the        time. While their counterparts             “I just don’t care about         New York could learn a lot
NFL will not have any games this season. For the time being,         in hockey, basketball, and foot-      baseball,” said Angelo Le-            from their counterparts in
there is no timetable for the NFL’s return to action. According to   ball always have roaring and          one, a hot dog vendor on 5th          Pittsburgh and Kansas City.
X and Rhymes, the four teams are just a start for the league, and    rollicking fans filling their re-     Avenue. “My favorite sport
more will be added within two years. The two most likely places      spective stadiums, the baseball       is the WNBA. I love the New
for expansion are Newburyport, Mass. and Biddeford, Maine.           teams often play to half-empty        York Liberty. Those girls play

Woods to speak at abstinence program                                 Source: B's Satan may be Devil's son after all
     A New England church is turning to one of America’s                  A new tell-all book is re-       Slovakian Satan is his after all.     with his son, Lou maintains that
highest-profile athletes to mold the young minds of the par-         vealing a lot about a local ath-          “I met Miro’s mother              he has admired Miro from afar.
ish. St. Stastny’s Church in Rask, N.H., has announced a new         lete with a unique name. Miro-        through Wilt Chamberlain,”                “He’s really slick with
partnership with golfer Tiger Woods, who will join the par-          slav Satan, a Slovakian winger        said Lou of the legendary lo-         the puck,” said the father of
ish on a part-time basis to teach elementary school chil-            for the Boston Bruins, has been       thario. “I don’t even remember        his son. “And I’ve seen him
dren about the benefits of abstinence. “We think Tiger will          mocked ceaselessly for his “evil”     her name; I just remember she         score some real dirty, real
be a great influence on our kids,” said Fr. Claude Julien. “We       last name, but always shrugged        called with something about           evil goals. He’s certainly got
Catholics are a forgiving bunch. Adultery? It’s not adultery         off the taunts simply as teasing.     being pregnant a couple weeks         a lot of his father in him.”
unless there are more than 20 mistresses. Tiger has made                  However, a book set to be        after we met in a 7-11 bathroom           Miroslav Satan couldn't
one or two or 16 mistakes, but we think he’ll be great with          released on Monday by the Dev-        in Trenton. Needless to say, I lost   be reached for comment.
the kids. Plus, have you seen how far he can hit a golf ball?!”      il himself, published under the       her number, and that was that.”               -Written by Jozef Stumpel
                                                                     name Lou Satan, alleges that the          While he’s never had contact
      PAGE 8                                                                                                                                      April 1, 2010

 Seeking his degree, James enrolls at Suffolk
                All-Star will try out for men's basketball team, but spot is far from assured
                                      wood and into the classroom. to play right away,” said X. “He           Suffolk is to get an education.”    home jersey immediately sold
  Michael Jordan                          According to the source, knows he obviously has to earn                  Sources say that Nelson        out upon release at the book-
  Journal Staff                       James, for one, feels that he his spot in the rotation first.           will not treat James any dif-       store on Monday. The away jer-
                                      is in a great position.                                                  ferently and that playing          sey is expected to sell out short-
                                          “Suffolk is known for                                                time will be hard to come          ly as well. Currently, James’
     In a stunning turn of events,    its business school, and                                                 by due to the team’s depth.        jersey is the second-highest
NBA superstar LeBron James            LeBron wants to get his                                                       James’      announcement      selling jersey in the bookstore’s
has decided to forego free agen-      business degree,” said X.                                                comes on the heels of last         history, coming in just behind
cy this coming summer and in-         “With all of his endorse-                                                week’s announcement that           David Sargent’s “$$” jersey.
stead enroll at Suffolk Univer-       ment money, LBJ wants to                                                 Dwight Howard has voided                Though it hasn’t yet been
sity starting in fall 2010 in order   be able to manage his own                                                his contract with the Orlando      confirmed, rumors are circulat-
to finally get his college degree.    money. He’s tired of agents                                              Magic and will be enrolling at     ing that James plans to live in
     James was expected to be         and accountants getting                                                  Emerson College in fall 2010       the 10 West dorms next year,
the most highly sought-after          commission off of his en-                                                to get his college degree. How-    as he wants to be closer to his
free agent on the market this         dorsements and earnings.”                                                ard is one of the biggest stars    friend Howard, who is liv-
offseason, and would have                 Along with bring-                                                    in the league, and is seeking      ing on-campus at Emerson.
commanded a deal that most            ing some star power to                                                   to use his star power to create         Next year’s first Rams-Li-
likely would have been in ex-         the classrooms, James is                                                 his own public relations firm.     ons tilt will be broadcast live
cess of $200 million dollars. In-     expected to join Suffolk’s                                                    With both James and           on ESPN, though it remains
stead of testing the free agent       basketball team and make                                                 Howard in the fold, the            uncertain whether or not
waters, he decided it was best        the Rams a force to be reck-                                             cross-Common rivalry be-           James will be in the line-up.
to get a college education first.     oned with in the GNAC.                                                   tween the Rams and Lions                Despite the impending
     The news was first re-               However, just because Photo property of David Herrera/WikiCommons     will likely be more fiery and     arrival of one of basketball's
leased by an insider from             he’s accomplished a lot in                                                intense than ever before.         biggest stars, Suffolk stu-
the James camp, who would                                          James is coming to Suffolk to con-
                                      the NBA, he’ll be treated                                                    After James announced his      dents are less than enthused
only identify himself as “X.”         just like any other incom- tinue his education, but a roster            intentions to join the school,      with "the King's" decision.
     It is not known if Athletic      ing freshman trying out spot on the basketball team is not              Suffolk instituted a season-             "He's just going to bring
Director James Nelson reached         for a spot on head coach            out of the question.                ticket package to all home          photographers and stuff all over
out to James back when he             Adam Nelson’s basket-                                                   games, with discounts given to      the place," said senior Mark
was in high school. However,          ball team. If he does make the He’s hoping that he can walk on          students. Prices have yet to be     Mowers. "I just hope he doesn't
it’s become quite clear with          team, James will likely have to the team, spend a couple of             announced, but a full season’s      hog all of the open gym time,
recent developments that Nel-         to compete for playing time at games learning the system and            worth of games is expected to       I need to work on my game."
son was very interested in            the small forward position, but get in a game or two by Decem-          cost over $1,000 for students
bringing the basketball star to       appears up to the challenge. ber. But make no mistake; his              and $2,000 for non-students.
Beacon Hill, off of the hard-              “Bron-Bron’s not expecting primary reason for attending                 James’ #23 Suffolk Rams

Boston-area icon hired as Rams' mascot
               "Spare Change Guy" expected to appear at all Athletics Department events
                                      said Suffolk’s Head of Mas-        I came back outside, he was still    get him to put his arm down         ted Palmer. “A student came
  Alexei Zhamnov                      cot Activity Arnie Palmer.         there, and he asked me again if      and put the suit on, but once       by my office the other day and
  Journal Staff                       “Everyone recognizes Spare         I had any spare change. He was       we did, it’s been great. Of         said they saw John at Haymar-
                                      Change wherever he is, and         so persistent; I couldn’t deny       course we haven’t been able         ket harassing passers-by for
     Rammy the Ram, Suffolk           he has the exact kind of star      that he had quite a strong spirit.   to get the suit back, but…”         ‘spare oats or grain,’ staples
University’s beloved mascot,          power we were looking for.”            “I went back to my office in          Bubier, for one, couldn’t be   of a ram’s diet. We may have
gets noticed around campus                 Change Guy, whose real        the Ridgeway Building and said       happier. When asked how he          created a monster, but he’s do-
for his unusual size and, for a       name is John Bubier, has be-       to Coach Nelson, ‘I found our        felt about his new job, he re-      ing a hell of a job spreading
goat, strangely erect posture.        come as much a part of Bos-        Rammy!’ and that was that.”          plied, “do you haaaaaave any        the word about Suffolk spirit.”
Rammy is recognized wher-             ton as the Zakim Bridge. He            According to Palmer, Bu-         spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare              However,      Palmer     and
ever he goes, and is a fixture        has been spotted everywhere        bier has been running ten            c h a n g e ? ”                     the    Athletics    Department
at Suffolk sporting events.           from the Theatre District to       miles per day since January to            When pressed for further       may have had other mo-
     However, the new man be-         Framingham, on Red Line            get in shape, and has become         comment, he elaborated, saying,     tives in hiring Bubier to play
hind the mask may be a bit more       and Commuter Rail trains.          a fixture at the Planet Fitness      “GUYS, do you haaaaaaaaave          Rammy., mainly green ones.
recognizable. He is also known             Palmer relayed the follow-    on City Hall Plaza, where            any spaaaaaaaaaare change?”             “Well yes, we were think-
wherever he wanders, and is a         ing story about how Bubier’s       he can often be found talk-               Clearly Bubier possess         ing of money too,” said Palmer.
fixture at Boston Common and          new assignment came to be.         ing to the treadmills and ha-        the persistence deemed so im-       “After all, John pulls in well
in Downtown Crossing. That’s               “I was going to the Dunkin’   ranguing them for any and all        portant by Palmer and Com-          over $85,000 per year in his
right, a Boston legend is coming      Donuts on Cambridge Street         spare change they may have.          pany, and he has no prob-           spare change pursuits, and we
home to Suffolk University, in a      to get a waffle breakfast sand-        “We know that he’s a bit         lem getting into character. In      agreed that he’d give us all of
role he was born to play: Spare       wich, and Spare Change Guy         rough around the edges, but          fact, it’s getting him to break     the money he earns while wear-
Change Guy will be Rammy the          was outside,” explained Palm-      we think he really has exact-        character that’s the problem.       ing the suit. And since he won’t
Ram for the foreseeable future.       er. “He asked me if I had any      ly what you need to do this               “Well, yeah, we’ve had a       take the suit off, we’re looking
     “We think this role is per-      spare change, and I said, ‘no,     job,” stressed Palmer. “Sure,        bit of a problem getting him        at a considerable windfall.”
fect for Spare Change Guy,”           get away from me, bum!’ When       at first it was hard for us to       out of ‘Ram world,” admit-
     PAGE 8                                                                                                                                  April 1, 2010
Sports briefs Men's tennis aiming
“Final Four” set in basketball, hockey
              for NCAA berth
    It's nearing national title time again in the NCAA. The
                                                                                                          GNAC champions,” said assis-            “I think I can probably
men's Division I basketball and hockey championships will be            Matt West
                                                                                                          tant coach Isaac Stahl, who has    go undefeated this year,” he
decided within the next two weeks, and the last four teams re-          Journal Staff                     been a part of Suffolk’s tennis    said. “It would be great [to
maining in each sport have been set. The annual NCAA men's
                                                                                                          program since 2005. “It won’t      go undefeated] but it’s re-
basketball tournament has been boiled down from the original
                                                                           Success    often    breeds     be easy but we have a strong       ally about the team winning.”
65 squads to just Michigan State, Butler, Duke and West Vir-
                                                                      confidence, either embold-          team, with strong leadership            For the second year in a
ginia. The teams for the national championship will be decid-
                                                                      ening a team to reach new           from our captains. The major-      row, the team has been listed
ed on Saturday, when Michigan State and Butler, both num-
                                                                      levels or allowing a level          ity of our starting line-up has    as the pre-season number-one,
ber-five seeds, will do battle, and number-one seed Duke will
                                                                      of complacency to set in.           returned this year. Plus, we       based on a poll conducted by
play second-seeded West Virginia. Hardwood heroes won't
                                                                           The men’s tennis team          have a nice crop of new play-      GNAC coaches. While such
be the only ones battling for a national title, however, as the
                                                                      opens the 2010 season as de-        ers ready to contribute to our     high praise could make the
men's hockey tournament has its “Frozen Four” set as well.
                                                                      fending Great Northeast Ath-        current and future success.”       team haughty and a bit lacka-
The last four puck teams standing are Boston College, Miami,
                                                                      letic Conference champions,             The team can look for-         daisical, the coach doesn’t see
Rochester Institute of Technology and Wisconsin. Both semi-
                                                                      and the mood surrounding            ward to many of last season’s      that happening with this group.
final games will be played on April 8 in Detroit, as Boston
                                                                      the team is anything but sat-       top contributors making an              “The biggest obstacle is
College will take on Wisconsin and RIT will play Wisconsin.
                                                                      isfied. They have                                                                  maintaining focus
                                                                      been to the top of                                                                 throughout the sea-
Skinner out at B.C.                                                   the conference and                                                                 son,” said Stahl. “It
     According to the Boston Globe, Al Skinner's long run as
                                                                      know how to win         "I expect us to repeat as GNAC                             is a hard balance
the head men's basketball coach at Boston College is over, as he
                                                                      big matches when                                                                   between        athlet-
was fired by the school early on Tuesday. Skinner recently inter-                               champions. It won't be easy,
                                                                      they really count.                                                                 ics and academics.
viewed for the vacant head coach position at St. John's Universi-
                                                                            With this veter-    but we have a strong team."                              As the semester
ty, and was considered one of the top prospects for the job, along
                                                                      an-laden team, led                                                                 moves forward, it
with former UCLA coach Steve Lavin. Recent reports suggested
                                                                      by captains Diego                                                                  only becomes more
that Lavin was St. John's first choice, with Skinner the back-up
                                                                      Alvarado and Jus-                                                                  challenging         to
plan, but according to the Globe's Mark Blaudschun, Boston Col-
                                                                      tin Ayoub, another conference       even bigger impact this year.      achieve academic success and
lege Athletic Director Gene DeFilippo has elected to part ways
                                                                      title is more than a possibil-      Sophomore Christopher Staley       stay committed to the team.”
with Skinner regardless of whether or not he gets the St. John’s
                                                                      ity. Just don’t expect them to      had quite an impressive rookie          “We have been blessed
job. Skinner has been the head coach at B.C. Since 1997, and has
                                                                      set their expectations too low.     campaign, finishing 8-3 over-      with talent and commit-
led the Eagles six NCAA tournament appearances, including
                                                                             “This year our team is       all in singles play and being      ment,” he continued. “As
one “Sweet Sixteen” appearance in 2006. According to Blaudsc-
                                                                      looking to go to the NCAA           named GNAC Rookie of the           an urban school, we have
hun, the Eagles will be forced to fire him to pay him $3 million
                                                                      tournament,”     said Ayoub,        Year. He was the only fresh-       been especially fortunate to
to buy out the last three years of his current contract. Some of
                                                                      who believes his team can           man named to the GNAC All-         get so many great players.”
the names that have surfaced as potential replacements include
                                                                      not only win the GNAC but           Conference Singles First Team,          The team played their
Harvard’s Tommy Amaker and Richmond’s Chris Mooney.
                                                                      reach the next level, not ex-       establishing himself as one        first match of the season last
                                                                      actly a surprising proclama-        of the premier players in the      Thursday, beating Johnson &
Woods' return gets more interesting                                   tion for such a talented group.     conference early in his career.    Wales by a score of 9-0. Both
    Tiger Woods already has the golf world abuzz with his an-                                                                                captains began the year 2-0,
                                                                           Reaching that goal can             Alvarado was the team’s
nouncement that he will play in the Masters starting on April 8,                                                                             and Staley won his first match
                                                                      only be accomplished by fin-        best all-around player last sea-
but according to, fans of awkward moments or                                                                                   of the year as well, starting
                                                                      ishing the regular season un-       son, having been named First
soap operas may want to tune in as well. Woods, whose string                                                                                 off his sophomore campaign
                                                                      defeated, but considering the       Team All-Conference while
of mistresses seems to go on forever, is already facing an uphill                                                                            much like he began last season.
                                                                      level at which the team has         winning seven singles matches.
climb at Augusta, as intense media pressure and being out of                                                                                      The team is confident and
                                                                      played the past two seasons,            Ayoub, who was a Rookie
golf for months will make a victory difficult. But he'll have an-                                                                            ready to win at the highest lev-
                                                                      there is no reason to think         of the Year himself in 2007,
other distraction: one of his alleged mistresses plans to be at the                                                                          el. With their past success, there
                                                                      that such a goal is too lofty.      has won 18 matches over the
tournament in person. According to, adult film                                                                                 is no reason to doubt them.
                                                                           “I expect us to repeat as      course of the past two seasons.
actress Joslyn James plans to attend the tournament. Her reasons
for doing so, other than shameless publicity, remain unclear, but
she has been adamant about getting an apology from Woods.             Business school to host sports panel
                                                                                                          ing A    dependence of the Women's
Nets avoid futility mark                                                Dan Ryan
                                                                                                          reception will follow the event.   Professional Soccer League.
     There hasn't been much for the New Jersey Nets to celebrate        Journal Staff                         The panelists will be Rich         The panel will be moderated
this season, but the club can take solace in the fact that despite                                        Gotham, president of the Bos-      by sports marketing consultant
all of their struggles, they won't be the worst team in NBA histo-        The      Sawyer      Business
                                                                                                          ton Celtics, former New Eng-       Karin Piscitelli and Catherine
ry. The Nets got their tenth win of the season on Monday night,       School is welcoming a number
                                                                                                          land Patriot Ted Johnson,          McCabe, an Associate Profes-
beating the San Antonio Spurs for their third win in four games.      of big names from the world
                                                                                                          former Boston Bruin Bob Swee-      sor of Marketing at Suffolk.
In winning number ten, the Nets ensured that they wouldn't be         of sports for a panel called
                                                                                                          ney, who is currently Director         According to the Sawyer
as bad as the 1972-1973 Philadelphia 76ers, who currently hold        “Emerging Trends in the Busi-
                                                                                                          of Development for the Bos-        Business School’s website, the
the record for worst season in NBA history. The 76ers finished        ness of Sports.” The panel will
                                                                                                          ton Bruins Foundation, for-        panel will focus on, “Collective
that season with a record of 9-73. The Nets appeared to be well       be on April 13 at 5 p.m. in Sar-
                                                                                                          mer World Cup champion and         bargaining, athlete injuries and
on their way to challenging that mark earlier this year, as the       gent Hall at Suffolk Law School.
                                                                                                          Olympic gold medalist Kris-        behavior, league structure, the
club started of the 2009-2010 campaign with 18-straight losses.           The event is free and is open
                                                                                                          tine Lilly and Louise Waxler,      impact of charitable founda-
Now, however, the Nets may be able to climb out of the league's       to Suffolk students, alumni, fac-
                                                                                                          who is Associate General Man-      tions and other major issues
30th spot: as of Monday night, the Nets were just four games be-      ulty and staff, but those wishing
                                                                                                          ager and Director of Opera-        affect the business of sports.”
hind the Minnesota Timberwolves for 29th place in the league.         to attend should RSVP by visit-
                                                                                                          tions for the Philadelphia In-
        PAGE 7                                                                                                                           April 1, 2010
Softball facing
key GNAC stretch
  Alex Mellion                       the GNAC conference, games
  Journal Staff                      that could make or break                             Men's baseball
                                     the rest of the team’s season.        April 1 vs. Bridgewater State, 3:30 p.m.
     The Suffolk women’s soft-           “The toughest part of our         April 3 @ Norwich, 1 p.m.                                Women's softball
ball team has had a rough first      schedule is coming up this            April 3 @ Norwich, 3:30 p.m.                   April 1 vs. Rivier, 3 p.m.
half of the season, posting          weekend,” said Lemasters. “I’m        April 5 @ M.I.T., 3:30 p.m.                    April 1 vs. Rivier, 5 p.m.
just two wins in their first 20      hoping to have a good showing         April 7 @ Roger Williams, 3:30 p.m.            April 2 @ Emerson, 4 p.m.
games. The team began the sea-       offensively and defensively.”                                                        April 2 @ Emerson, 6 p.m.
son March 12 with an eight-day           Lemasters went on to
                                                                                         Men's tennis                     April 3 @ Norwich, 1 p.m.
                                                                           April 1 @ Wentworth, 4 p.m.                    April 3 @ Norwich, 3 p.m.
trip to California which includ-     cite the youth of this Lady
                                                                           April 3 vs. Albertus Magnus, TBA
ed ten games against various         Rams team, which features
teams from around the coun-          eight players who are either
try, all ten of which were losses.   freshmen      or    sophomores.                    Spring sports standings
     Despite the west coast              “Each game is a learn-
struggles,       head       coach    ing experience and they have              Softball                         Men's tennis                             Baseball
Keri Lemasters saw posi-             shown signs of improvement,”              (GNAC)                            (GNAC)                                  (GNAC)
tive signs from her team.            she said. “So hopefully the sec-
                                     ond half of the season there is       1. St. Joseph's (Maine) 8-0      1. Suffolk 1-0                     1. Emerson 3-1
     “It was a positive trip, we
                                     a dramatic increase in softball       2. Rivier 6-0                    2. Emerson 1-0                     2. St. Joseph's (Maine) 3-1
played the toughest compe-
                                     knowledge and game skills that        3. Emerson 7-1                   3. Johnson & Wales 1-1             3. Suffolk 3-1
tition I have seen in the last
                                     will help our chances of getting      4. Lasell 5-1                    4. Norwich 0-1                     4. Albertus Magnus 2-2
five years with Suffolk and we
                                     into the play-offs and then being     5. Simmons 6-2                   5. Albertus Magnus 0-1             5. Lasell 2-2
faced some unbelievable pitch-
                                     successful in post-season play.”      6. St Joseph's (Conn.) 5-3                                          6. Rivier 1-3
ers,” she said in an email. “By
                                         Leading the way offen-            7. Mt. Ida (3-5)                                                    7. Johnson & Wales 1-3
the end of the week, the strike
                                     sively for the Rams have been         8. Johnson & Wales 3-7                                              8. Norwich 1-3
out totals were down and
                                     senior Valerie Liberatore and         9. Emmanuel 1-3
we were making good con-
                                     sophomore Clara Conklin. Lib-         10. Suffolk 2-6
tact. Unfortunately, the hits                                                                                                  *All standings are
                                     eratore leads the team with a         11. Pine Manor 0-4
were just not finding holes.”                                                           ma2_tribune    70.71 lpi       45.00°       30.
                                                                                                                           current as of Mar.3/26/07      10:21:00 AM
                                     .442 batting average and Conk-        12. Norwich 0-6                                              Process Black
     The silver lining to the
                                     lin leads the team with six           13. Albertus Magnus 0-8
Lady Rams’ slow start is the
fact that their two wins have        home runs and 18 RBIs. The
both come against GNAC op-           pitching staff has been solid as                       ■ Great Rates-Why Pay More?
ponents (St Joseph’s of Con-         well, with sophomores Liz Gal-         ■ Climate
necticut and Mount Ida), which       vin, Carissa Roche and Brooke
                                                                                               Control ■ Drive Thru Loading Area
should bode well for the sec-        Hirschfield leading the way.
                                            Despite the slow start, theY
ond half of their season. The
Rams currently sit in 10th place     team will have plenty of time
in the conference, and have          to make up ground, as 16 of
several key games coming up          the Lady Rams’ final 20 games    MY
against the upper echelon of         are against GNAC opponents.

                                                                                     135 Old Colony Ave. • South Boston, MA
        PAGE 6                                                                                                                                 April 1, 2010
The day I become your "fan" is the day pigs fly Children and the urgent
Tom Logan
                                                need for marriage equality
                                    people who write walls of text       say this: if you happen to be
                                                                                                              Courtney Forti                        fering of countless children.
Journal Staff                       complaining about some stupid        an artist, writer, model, or ac-
                                                                                                              Journal Contributor                        One comical yet unbeliev-
                                    mundane problem that is, for         tor/actress, and it’s possible for
                                                                                                                                                    ably common concern people
     Facebook offers some posi-     the most part, insignificant. The    people other than your own
                                                                                                                   Today, not many people           have regarding same-sex mar-
tive aspects; it’s a great way to   status update soapbox users also     friends to know who you are,
                                                                                                              will tell you that when they          riage is that gay couples will
keep in touch with old friends,     make vague complaints about          then it is acceptable to make a
                                                                                                              say “protect children” they           automatically raise gay chil-
find people with similar inter-     someone else on Facebook with-       page about yourself. However,
                                                                                                              mean protect them from gay            dren. According to the Child
ests, and play games more ad-       out ever mentioning their name.      for everyone else, this is sim-
                                                                                                              people. Even better, the major-       Welfare Information Gateway,
dictive than World of Warcraft.     A close relative of the status up-   ply a self-made shrine about
                                                                                                              ity of people would find such a       only about 10 percent of chil-
That being said, there is also a    date abuser is the comment/like      how awesome you think you
                                                                                                              statement incredibly discrimi-        dren raised in same-sex house-
negative aspect to Facebook.        jerk. This person has the ten-       are; you’re actually nothing like
                                                                                                              natory, even hateful. Yet, inter-     holds— the same percentage
For one, the social network-        dency to always like his or her      who you make yourself out to
                                                                                                              estingly enough, the focus on         as the rest of the population—
ing site is so large it makes me    own status updates, therefore        be on the ego-stroke fest that is
                                                                                                              child-welfare has taken center        identify as gay. Although this
sick at the thought of my gen-      coming off as a self-centered        your Facebook page. Odds are
                                                                                                              stage in the debate over same-        fact is partially meant to quell
eration. That aspect, ladies and    idiot. Then you have the invite      that you are not that smart, at-
                                                                                                              sex marriage, with “preser-           the fears of those awaiting the
gentlemen, is narcissism. Face-     gamers. They are the ones who        tractive, or funny, and people
                                                                                                              vationists” pulling out all the       imminent homosexual take-
book facilitates an environment     spam everyone with invitations       don’t regard you as highly as
                                                                                                              stops in their effort to ban same-    over, the truly great thing about
where any attention-craving         to assist them in Mafia Wars or      you think. In reality, you’re me-
                                                                                                              sex marriages by claiming that        it is that it illustrates the fact
moron is able to create a profile   to be their Farmville neighbor,      diocre, you’re a dime a dozen;
                                                                                                              children will suffer if the defini-   loving someone of the same sex
and pretty much spam “Look at       although never getting the hint      if you fell off the face of the
                                                                                                              tion of marriage is expanded.         does not define every aspect of
me! Look at me!” at any time.       you don’t play Farmville and         earth, nothing would change.
                                                                                                                   The supposed negative im-        peoples’ lives; parents are still
     I’m sure we all have friends   have no desire of helping them.           Don’t even bother ask-
                                                                                                              pact same-sex marriage would          going to be parents, human be-
who abuse the status update             Perhaps the worst of all of      ing me to be your Fan. I may
                                                                                                              have on children ranges from the      ings remain human beings, and
feature. These people actually      these offenders are the people       join “If one-million people join
                                                                                                              personal: children won’t learn        just because they are gay doesn’t
believe I care about what’s hap-    who make “Fan Pages” about           this group then I’ll give ev-
                                                                                                              about appropriate behavior            mean they will force it on their
pening every second of every        themselves. In other words, not      eryone a free car” when one
                                                                                                              and relationships unless raised       children or anyone else. Ironi-
minute, every hour of every day.    being content with their own         of my friends sends me an in-
                                                                                                              by one mother and one father;         cally, strict enforcement of sexu-
Next are the status update soap-    Facebook friends, these people       vite, but even I have standards.
                                                                                                              to the                                                       ality hap-
box people, also known as the       want Fans as well. Now I will
                                                                                                              soci-                                                        pens most
                                                                                                              etal: if                                                     often    in
                                                                                                              chil-        The fight against                               heterosex-
                                                                                                              dren                                                         ual house-
                                                                                                                        same-sex marriage is                               h o l d s
                                                                                                              about     destabilizing millions                             w h e r e
                                                                                                              or are                                                       children
                                                                                                              e x -          of families.                                  may have
                                                                                                              posed                                                        to    deny
                                                                                                              t     o                                                      their true
                                                                                                              same-                                                        sexual-
                                                                                                              sex relationships they’ll begin       ity due to their parents’ fear
                                                                                                              to think that they “should be         of      societal    repercussions.
                                                                                                              gay” or that it is somehow bet-            Eight to 10 million children
                                                                                                              ter than heterosexuality and, I       are being raised by gay and
                                                                                                              guess in the worse-case scenario      lesbian families in the United
                                                                                                              of this particular concern, we’ll     States (according to the Child
                                                                                                              become a nation of prosely-           Welfare       Information    Gate-
                                                                                                              tized homosexuals and society         way). That’s eight to 10 million
                                                                                                              will fall into chaos. If anyone       children we deny rights and
                                                                                                              was considering another re-           security to when we prohibit
                                                                                                              make of Invasion of the Body-         their families from being recog-
                                                                                                              Snatchers, this particular twist      nized as married on both state
                                                                                                              may be a gold mine. Further-          and federal levels. We have
                                                                                                              more, many people claim that          unintentionally been teach-
                                                                                                              legalizing same-sex marriage          ing the idea that different is
                                                                                                              will destroy the traditional          dangerous, but alienation, low
                                                                                                              family institution which is so        self-esteem, and social anxieties
                                                                                                              vital to the stability and devel-     can all be remedied by devel-
                                                                                                              opment of children and soci-          oping a more inclusive society.
                                                                                                              ety. This, however, is precisely      Legalizing same-sex marriage
                                                                                                              where the argument slips up.          will do just that. It will vali-
                                                                                                                   By pushing to preserve           date the experience of millions
                                                                                                              the status quo— what is be-           of families as well as open up
                                                                                                              ing referred to as family val-        our society to the diversity and
                                                                                                              ues and societal stability— all       acceptance that future genera-
                                                                                                              for the well-being of children,       tions not only deserve, but re-
                                                                                                              the fight against same-sex mar-       quire. If we truly want to pro-
                                                                                                              riage is destabilizing millions       tect children, we can and most
                                                                                                              of families; in fact, it is con-      definitely should start here.
                                                                                                              tributing to the emotional suf-
       PAGE 5                                                                                                                                  April 1, 2010
Ross, Rhodes recite at Poetry Center
Angela Bray                       Columbia University. When         reading first,” she said. “To be      Montana, “Under the South-          American Poet. Among the jour-
Journal Staff                     in school, she was an English     a good writer, you need to read       ern Cross” takes place in Sao       nals that have published her
                                  major with a minor in music.      a lot, and use it for inspiration.”   Paulo, Brazil, and “In the Con-     poems are American Poetry Re-
    Suffolk University’s li-      “Working on music and voice            “Much of my book details         servatory” in the Bronx, New        view, Columbia, Fence, New Eng-
brary in 73 Tremont contains      influenced my work, espe-         parts of my life,” said Ross.         York. Other poems she read          land Review, TriQuarterly, and
hidden nooks used for things      cially with poetry,” said Ross.   “Many are about traveling and         related to the issues of natu-      the Virginia Quarterly Review.
on campus that some students           Her      po-                                                                  ral disaster, loss,           “I think she [Rhodes] of-
might not be aware of. One        etry has been                                                                      and      miscarriage.    fers us, in her poetry, the ex-
of these is located towards       published      in                                                                      Ross is a contrib-   perience of courageous and
the back of the third floor, a    several     jour-                                                                  uting editor for Ger-    imagination,” said Marchant.
room dedicated to poetry. Po-     nals, including        "You can’t write                                            nica: A Magazine of           Rhodes told the audi-
ets Anna Ross and Martha          Agni, The New                                                                      Art and Politics and     ence she would be reading
Rhodes read their work in Suf-    Republic,     The      without reading                                             also teaches poetry      from work that is in prog-
folk’s Poetry Center on Thurs-    Paris     Review,                                                                  and writing. For the     ress; she also informed of her
day evening. “Poetry readings     Salamander, and     first,” she said. “To                                          2004-2005 academic       working title, “The Beds.”
are good because you can hear     The Southwest                                                                      year, Ross taught             “My poems do have titles,
your own work and consider        Review.     Ross’
                                                        be a good writer,                                            an     English    101    and I like them,” said Rhodes,
the audience’s reactions,” said   chapbook,                                                                          course at Suffolk.       although she sometimes does
Ross. Fred Marchant, English      Hawk Weather,
                                                       you need to read a                                                Rhodes is the di-    not tell the title when reading. A
professor and Director of Cre-    has      recently                                                                  rector of Four Way       variety of poems were shared,
ative Writing and the Poetry      been      named
                                                        lot, and use it for                                          Books in New York        all with different topics. A few
Center, introduced the poets      the winner of                                                                      City and is the au-      of them left the audience chuck-
and shared their backgrounds.     the 2008 New
                                                           inspiration."                                             thor of three poetry     ling, such as those about being
    “We all have goals in life;   Women’s Voices                                                                     collections: At The      scared of frogs, falling into a
one of mine was to have Fred      Chapbook Prize                                                                     Gate, Mother Quiet,      wedding cake, and eating all of
Marchant introduce me at a        from Finishing Line Press.        different natural landscapes.         and Perfect Disappearance (win-     the donuts in New York City.
reading,” Ross said when step-    At the reading, she shared        Travel inspires me, as well as        ner of the Green Rose Prize).            Rhodes teaches at Sar-
ping up to the podium. Ross       pieces from her chapbook,         science and things that I see         Her work is published in nu-        ah Lawrence College and at
holds a BA from Mount Holy-       along with more recent poems.     and read about.” “Evidence”           merous anthologies, including       the MFA Program for Writ-
oke College and an MFA from            “You can’t write without     takes place in southwestern           Agni, 30 Years, and The New         ers at Warren Wilson College.
                SUMMER I (May 17-July 2)
                SUMMER I (May 17-July 2)
                CJN 216 Intercultural Communication, CJN 358 Family
                Communication, CJN 491 Critical Studies in Reality TV and
                                                                                                                      All courses require
                Documentary, GVT 110 Introduction to American Democracy,                                              instructor approval.
                GVT 201 Statistics for Political Science, GVT 281 Intro-
                duction to Comparative Politics, SCI 161 Physical Science
                SUMMER II (July 6-August 20)
                SUMMER II (July 6-August 20)                                                                 For schedules and instructor
                ENG 213 English Literature I, PHIL 127 Contemporary Moral
                Issues: Punishing War Criminals, Engineering Babies, and                                           information, visit
                Upgrading iPods, SCI 171 The Built World: How Humans
                SUMMER LONG, 10 WEEKS (May 17-July 30)                                                             college/40361.html
                EHS 747 College Admission Counseling Fundamentals
                SUMMER LONG, 10 WEEKS (June 14-August 20)
                EHS 748 Fieldwork: College Visits
                SUMMER LONG, 14 WEEKS (May 17-August 20)                                                              Questions? Contact
                MATH 134 Calculus for Management and Social Sciences,
                MATH 166 Calculus II                                                                                  Carrie Baldassari,
       PAGE 4                                                                                                                                  April 1, 2010
Howard Zinn tribute at Suffolk
Shoshana Akins                      ing it only logical for the Uni-   man was such an interesting        to use it to inspire people,” than gratifying to Langstaff.
                                    versity to host the launch of      person; we wanted to keep          said Jeff Zinn during the trib-         “It felt great to speak those
Journal Staff
                                    his newest book. During his        the image he had created. He       ute. “We only get to talk to the words,” Langstaff said of her
     Filling the C.Walsh with the   stay at Suffolk, Daughter of Ve-   was very receptive to the pro-     people who show up to these role in the tribute’s scene. “I
passion of politics and theatre,    nus and Emma were both per-        cess and really understood         productions. This is the only have really come to love the
the drama of history and the        formed on campus, the latter       what we were trying to do,”        soap box we have, so we have part and it was thrilling just
present, and especially with the    being an exclusively Suffolk           Though the celebratory         to make sure to use whatever to play it again. I felt truly
joy of memory and admiration,                                                                                                                     honored to participate.”
a winning tribute was put on in                                                                                                                        Elise Manning, the lo-
honor of activist, scholar, and                                                                                                                   cal actor who read the part
playwright, Howard Zinn in                                                                                                                        of Aramintha in Daughter
a manner he would have been                                                                                                                       of Venus, was also happy to
proud of. Zinn would know-                                                                                                                        offer her time to the trib-
since he designed it himself.                                                                                                                     ute. This being her third
     Before his unexpected                                                                                                                        time reading as the spunky,
death two months ago, the                                                                                                                         outspoken daughter in the
Beacon Hill Press had planned                                                                                                                     play, she feels a special
a launch celebration of Zinn’s                                                                                                                    connection to Zinn’s theat-
newest book, “3 Plays: The Po-                                                                                                                    rical motives and his po-
litical Theatre of Howard Zinn,”                                                                                                                  litical ideas on the whole.
to be held at Suffolk University.                                                                                                                      “He saw theatre as a ve-
A long time partner with Zinn’s                                                                                                                   hicle for transporting ideas
works, the publishing compa-                                                                                                                      on a personal and social
ny wanted to hold a commem-                                                                                                                       level,” described Manning.
oration of his hybrid talents                                                                                                                     “He was committed to the
by having dramatic readings                                                                                                                       ideas and the message, but
of scenes from the plays fea-                                                                                                                     really knew how to con-
tured in his book, along with                                                                                                                     vey it to the audience.”
an open discussion with the                                                                                                                            Not only were the ac-
revered historian. According to                                                                                                                   tors and the audience
Helene Atwan, Director of the                                                                                                                     feeling an emotional con-
                                                                                                                          Photo by John Gillooly
Beacon Hill Press, Zinn picked                                                                                                                    nection during this unex-
the scenes, he chose the actors,    community-run       production.    night had so suddenly become platform is available to us.”            pected tribute, but the unveil-
and he explicitly requested             Suffolk    University   ju-    a tribute, it went off just as          Six prominent New Eng-        ing of Zinn’s book has now took
long time friend and Boston         nior Ryan Began helped pro-        planned with the only change land actors read scenes from             on a whole new meaning. At
Globe theatre critic Ed Siegel to   duce the staged reading of         being that Howard Zinn’s Emma, Marx in Soho, and Daugh-               the start of each published play,
interview him on stage. He was      Emma during that time, get-        son, Jeff Zinn, stepped in for ter of Venus, one of which, Chris      Zinn wrote a personal and inti-
very involved in the creative       ting to interact with Zinn dur-    the on stage discussion, offer- Cooper, is an Oscar award-win-        mate introduction detailing his
process, all the way to the end.    ing the managing of the play.      ing insight into the making of ning actor who read the role of        personal discovery and inspi-
     “The idea of the book be-          “We had to cut down Emma       his father’s first production, Marx. Without costumes, sets,          ration to create each play. Like
gan when he did the Daughter of     in order to fully produce it,      his inspiration, and his influ- or even multiple rehearsals,          the true historian he was, Zinn
Venus at Suffolk last year,” said   but wanted to keep the huge        ence on the lives around him. the scenes vividly depicted the         explicitly delved into the works
Atwan.                                                                                                         moment, the movement,         that touched him in his life and
“ Tr a g i -                                                                                                   and the momentum in time      the autobiographical events
cally he                                                                                                       that Zinn was so captured     that shaped him, connecting his
died be-                                                                                                       by in history and textbooks   own experiences to the non-fic-
fore the                                                                                                       and put a personal edge to    tional figures and characters he
launch,                                                                                                        them, especially now with     recreated in his works. Candid
but the                                                                                                        emotion of his passing.       and earnest, these three pref-
evening                                                                                                            Suffolk professor and     aces serve as a last interview
was just                                                                                                       friend of Zinn, Caitlin       with Zinn, giving a final and
the way                                                                                                        Langstaff, was more than      unexpected window into the
he envi-                                                                                                       happy to play Emma for        mind of the cherished activist.
sioned                                                                                                         the tribute, knowing it            “A play, like any other form
it. It was                                                                                                     would have been some-         of artistic expression… has the
really                                                                                                         thing he really wanted.       possibility of transcendence,”
perfect.”                                                                                                      While Langstaff was in        wrote Zinn in the introduc-
     Zinn                                                                                                      New York City a few years     tion to “3 Plays." “It can, by
had been                                                                                                       ago doing another pro-        imaginative reconstruction of
a Distin-                                                                                                      duction, Zinn came to her     reality, transcend the conven-
guished                                                                                                        opening night, handed her     tional wisdom, transcend or-
Visiting                                                                                                       his script, and told her she  thodoxy, transcend the word of
Scholar                                                                                Photo by John Gillooly would be perfect to play       the establishment… Art dares
at     Suf-                                                                                                    Emma. Since then, she has     to start from scratch, from
folk University last year, in       events and personal touches            “Howard had a connec-           played the role multiple times    the core of human need, from
association with the Boston-        that Howard was conveying,”        tion between the political and      and to perform the familiar       feelings that are not repre-
wide festival, Zinnfest, mak-       said Began. “Emma Gold-            the personal, and he wanted         role during his tribute felt more sented in what we call reality.”
       PAGE 3                                                                                                                                           April 1, 2010
Journalism conference
preps students for the future Cahill focuses on how
from CONFERNCE page 1     , feels that journal-
                                    ists who want to work online
     modity that is central to      should follow suit. “Bloggers
                              to fix the economy
the ability to filter and gather    are good niche workers, find
                                                                                                                              He went on to say that the       more competition by allow-
                                                                         from CAHILL page 1
the important information.          something you are good at
                                                                                                                        federal government would not           ing people to purchase insur-
     After the introductory look    and are passionate about and             blasted both in the Journal                be able to sustain health care         ance across state lines and has
to the future the discussion        become an expert.” Entrepre-         interview and the Suffolk Law                  subsidies for all fifty states.        malpractice insurance reform.
moved to those actually look-       neurial opportunities can range      event for exercising excessive                 “Free health care is not free.         “It’s so easy to sue doctors.
ing for careers in the modern       from being paid to embed your        spending, which he believes                    This national health care plan         They have to practice defensive
market place. The Internet has      blog on someone’s site or being      contributed to fiscal crisis.                  is not going to cut the deficit.       medicine, which is driving a
many opportunities for en-          offered a job. Publications find         Cahill claims that his at-                 We have facts here in Mass. that       lot of doctors out of business.”
trepreneurial enterprises in        blogs they’d like to use by “dig-    tempts to warn the Gover-                      can show that it won’t become               In the past week, the Cahill
journalism that didn’t exist be-    ging and screening, looking for      nor and other lawmakers                        cheaper, that prices are not go-       campaign has come under fire
fore, said Beard. Thanks to the     compelling stories, precise and      about the fiscal crisis before                 ing to magically come down.            for accepting campaign contri-
dynamic of the Internet, said       consistent writing and cover-        it happened were ignored.                      They haven’t here in Mass. I           butions from contributors con-
Beard, “you will find an oppor-     age, and the use of credible sto-        He noted that as treasurer                 don’t know how people think            tracted with the state pension
tunity.” Benton weighed in say-     ries,” said Wilpers, who went        he has no control over state                   it’s going to happen nationally.”      fund. “Some of [the contro-
ing, “You don’t need anyone’s       on to say that there are down-       spending that the Treasury’s op-                     The bill was not a victory for   versy] has been generated by
permission to do work any-          sides to working in the digital      erating budget has gone down                   the American people, according         the media,” he said, noting that
more. Don’t wait to work; the       age. “You have to learn things       20 percent since he took office.               to Cahill, but a victory for Pres-     there is a higher percentage
model of doing 40 years at a pa-    at such a fast pace, getting a job       Cahill came out against                    ident Obama. “That’s what’s            from business involved with
per and then retiring is nearly     is difficult, and you must have      the National Health Care Bill                  being written in the newspa-           the pension fund that did not
obsolete.” The Internet allows      a command over blogging,             that was recently signed into                  per today. That’s how the spin         contribute to his campaign, and
journalists to do the work that     Twitter, RSS feeds, and services     law. He argued that the health                 is coming out, and at the end          many of those who did were
they find interesting, to “be-      like Digg.” Adam Gaffin, Se-         care reform in Mass. passed in                 of the day, if it works to bring       involved with the pension fund
come your own journalist” as        nior Editor of UniversalHub.         2006 “would have bankrupted                    insurance premiums down, if it         prior to his tenure as treasurer.
Heslam said. Charlie Sennott        com, highlighted other down-         the state if the federal govern-               works to bring the cost of hos-             Cahill said he was pleased
spoke after the first panel had     sides to working online. “You        ment hadn’t been extraordi-                    pitalization down, I’ll be very,       to convey his message to col-
finished and was the keynote        are working alone; there is no       narily generous in subsidizing                 very happy to eat my words.”           lege students who are getting
speaker of the afternoon. He        news room so it can be lonely.       the cost of providing access to                      Instead, Cahill would like       their “first exposure to politics.”
told his story from the begin-      You can’t get sick and you’ll be     an additional 400,000 people.”                 to see a plan that both fosters
ning of his career to where he      bringing your laptop on vaca-
was in the present. He said he      tion. I also have a problem be-
started off as a “cop reporter”     ing a business man, and having
in New York, covering the first     to do things like selling ads.”
attempt at a terrorist attack on    David Warsh, of Economic
the World Trade Center towers       Principles, highlighted another
in 1993. In 1996, Sennott began     issue saying, that while there
work as the Middle East Bureau      are many little niches covering
Chief for the Boston Globe and      slices of industry, anyone can
lived in Israel where he began      join and there is a danger to the
to raise his family. Eventually,    ease of entry to this business.”
the area got too dangerous and           While there are draw-
Sennott and his family were         backs, there are also strategies
forced to relocate. After the       for coping with them. “Take
September 11 attacks, Sennott       everything you read online
had a new job covering world        with a grain of salt, objectiv-
news as a correspondent in          ity is not the be all and end all
numerous different countries.       of journalism anymore,” said
By 2008, the world of journal-      Worsh. Warsh suggests cross
ism was still fast changing and     linking and checking most-
the Globe was forced to phase       read lists to determine if the
out its foreign bureaus. Sen-       service or blog you are using                      Learn. Explore. Discover.
nott thought he had found his       is valuable. Wilpers said that
dream job until it was cancelled,   the core principles of report-
causing him to resign from the                                                         This summer, experience Boston University Summer Term. Fulfill a degree
                                    ing 101 and journalism 101 are
Globe on St. Patrick’s day of       still central to developing the                    requirement, complete an internship, or take advantage of unique academic
2008. He came up with Global        validity and worth of a source.                    programs offered only in the summer. With a choice of nearly 700 courses
Post, an international news ser-         Sennott said that one of the
                                                                                       taught by BU’s award-winning faculty, you’ll be  you stayed in town.
vice with 70 correspondents         main bets that he and his part-
in 50 countries. Since the sites    ners have hedged for Global
inception, they have published      Post is that people will support
                                                                                       Learn more at
“nearly 3,000 stories, videos       good journalism. The Journal
and photo galleries, includ-        and Voice sponsored discus-                        Summer 1: May 18-June 25
ing numerous in-depth series        sion educated students on                          Summer 2: June 28-August 6
on a very broad array of major      what it looks like in the mod-
international issues.” Global       ern age. It may be a bit faster
Post is the model for the face      and not smudge your fingers,
of journalism in the digital age.   but it’s still about the same
     In the same way that the       thing, said Sennott, “being
                                                                                       An equal opportunity, affirmative action institution.
reader has refined his taste for    there and telling a great story.”
news, John Wilpers of Boston-
       PAGE 2                                                                                                                             April 1, 2010
news Suffolk participates
       in virtual college fair                                        Angela Bray                         a virtual lobby with clickable        resentatives and students.
                                                                      Journal Staff                       booths and banners. User pref-             Chats are a straightforward
                                                                                                          erences include the option to         way for those seeking applica-
                                                                          Showcasing hundreds of          listen to the sound of crowd          tion tips and advice, according
 Suffolk pulls out                                                    colleges and universities around
                                                                      the world, CollegeWeekLive is
                                                                                                          voices in the background.
                                                                                                          The toolbar recommends col-
                                                                                                                                                to Collins. “I have heard kids
                                                                                                                                                are more comfortable asking
                                                                      the world’s largest college fair.   lege halls, presentations, stu-       questions online instead of
                                                                          “We’re expecting 40,000         dent chats, college chats, and        asking in front of everyone [at
 of the Hyatt Hotel                                                   students to log in,” said Mar-      scholarships     for     students.    a real fair],” said Collins. She
                                                                      tha Collins, Vice President              “Everyone is already online,     also mentioned that it is a ca-
     Suffolk has announced that they are pulling out of the Bos-
                                                                      of Marketing, last week. The        so this makes college research        sual way to speak with current
 ton Hyatt Hotel where they have housed students for the past
                                                                      Spring 2010 fair began last         easy,” said Collins. “It is a great   college and university students
 two years. The Hyatt Hotels Corp. has sold the Hyatt Regency
                                                                      Wednesday       morning      and    way for [prospective] students        about finding the perfect fit.
 Boston building to The Chesapeake Lodging Trust, a lodging
                                                                      ended the following evening.        to show interest, and participat-          Another benefit is the lim-
 real estate investment trust. This particular Hyatt hotel in Bos-
                                                                          CollegeWeekLive, in part-       ing schools take it seriously.”       itless amount of schools to be
 ton has lost $1 million due to a boycott started by the Unite Here
                                                                      nership with the U.S. Depart-            Collings argued that online      presented. According to Col-
 Local 26, a workers union that supported the 98 housekeepers
                                                                      ment of Education, connects         college fairs may have certain        lins, 100-plus countries are
 that were fired earlier this year. The boycott not only has pulled
                                                                      colleges and universities with      advantages of traditional ones.       represented. “This is a lot
 revenue from this specific Hyatt hotel but also another $1 mil-
                                                                      students, parents, and coun-        “At a [physical] college fair,        bigger than the typical col-
 lion from the surrounding Hyatt hotels in Cambridge and
                                                                      selors live and free online. Ac-    there are usually not presenta-       lege fair,” she said. “Schools
 Logan Airport. “Suffolk University has been approached by
                                                                      cording to Collins, the three       tions on admissions topics. A lot     like Suffolk University and
 former Hyatt workers as well as by students who are sympa-
                                                                      most useful tools are “browse,      of admissions leaders are pre-        those in that area can be seen
 thetic to their plight,’’ John Nucci, Suffolk’s vice president for
                                                                      chat, and great presentations.”     senting online,” said Collins.        in places such as California as
 external affairs. The new residence building, which has been
                                                                      CollegeWeekLive has garnered             Those using CollegeWeek-         well as all around the world.”
 said to house 200 new residents, as well as the boycott of the
                                                                      media attention, having been        Live may watch admissions                  CollegeWeekLive began in
 hotels has led Suffolk to no longer use the Hyatt as a dormitory.
                                                                      featured on ABC World News.         experts and representatives           the Fall of 2007, and is therefore
                                                                          Students     may     register   speak on topics such as how           heading toward its third year.
POLICE BLOTTER                                                        and log in to chat with col-        to prepare for standardized           There is an annual spring and
                                                                      lege representatives and cur-       testing, writing the applica-         fall fair, with smaller events in
                                                                      rent students, research aca-        tion essay, how to pay for col-       between. “There is such a wide
                                                                      demics and campuses, and            lege, and scholarship informa-        variety of [schools], and I think
Wednesday, March 24                                                   watch virtual presentations.        tion. With the virtual college        more and more are participat-
                                                                          Upon logging into the site,     booths, users may IM and/             ing,” said Collins. “Suffolk has
7:23 a.m.                                                   , there is       or video chat with school rep-        been a long-time participant.”
10 West
Alarm sounded at 10 West Street (water flow
problem). BFD responded. Report filed.
8:48 a.m.
Law School
Received a report of a syringe found out-
side of 120 Tremont St. Report filed.
Friday, May 26
8:51 p.m.
Ridgeway Bookstore
Burglary alarm at 148 Cambridge Street. Re-
port filed.
Saturday, May 27
1:14 a.m.
10 Somerset
Drug offense at 10 Somerset Street. Report
Sunday, May 28
9:02 a.m.
Informed of a possible hazardous condition off
campus. Report filed.
       VOLUME 70, NUMBER 20                                              WWW.SUFFOLKJOURNAL.NET                                                            April 1, 2010
Journal and Voice join forces
                       Veteran journalists talk about the future of the field
                                                                                                           Pearlman, Editor in Chief of          the panelists felt journalism
                                                                                                           the Suffolk Journal. “I think         was going technologically.
                                                                                                           this discussion really showed             Personalization is key now-
                                                                            The Suffolk Journal and        Suffolk students that if you’re       adays, “we want to be where
                                                                       Suffolk Voice, in coordination      journalism major you should,          you are most,” said Beard.
                                                                       with the Communications and         at the very least, be writing for     Look for personalized news
                                                                       Journalism Department, host-        a publication at our school.”         updates on your Facebook
                                                                       ed a panel of experts at the C.          Despite years of compe-          news feed or on your Twitter.
                                                                       Walsh Theater last Thursday to      tition between the Suffolk                “People are very personal-
                                                                       discuss the future of journalism    Journal and Voice, the two            ized online,” said Pearlman.
                                                                       in the digital age. Eight guests    groups came together for the          “They want to pick what news
                                                                       comprised two panels that           first time to put on this event.      they see and where they see it.”
                                                                       bookended the keynote speaker            “Putting it all together was a       This of course, challenges
                                                                       of the event, Charlie Sennott,      lot of work but it came together      the typical print form and even
                                                                       co-founder of Global Post. The      nicely,” said Manny Veiga, Edi-       makes one re-think communi-
                                                                       panel was asked a variety of        tor in Chief of the Suffolk Voice,    cation vocabulary. In the past,
                                                                       questions concerning the fu-        “Alex and I worked well togeth-       media agencies were gatekeep-
                                                                       ture of journalism while Sen-       er and with the help of Bruce         ers of information, using the
                                                                       nott spoke about his career in      Butterfield and Nina Hunt-            limited print space for what the
                                                                       traditional journalism and how      emann, we made it happen.”            editors deemed most impor-
                                                                       it led him to start Global Post.         The first panel consisted        tant. Now, we have a wealth
                                                                            The discussion highlight-      of Jessica Heslam, a reporter         of information and unlimited
                                                                       ed the changing nature of the       for the Boston Herald, Joshua         space, thanks to the Internet.
                                                                       journalistic profession and         Benton, director of the Nieman            Still, one thing that will
                                                                       how to succeed in such a cli-       Journalism Lab at Harvard,            never change is the value of
                                                Photo by Ethan Long    mate. “People came up after         Alex Pearlman, and David              solid editors and solid re-
Keynote speaker, Charlie Sennott talks about his experiences as        the discussion and asked about      Beard, the editor of      porters, says Heslam, a com
                                                                       writing for the Suffolk Journal          The opening question for
  a foreign correspondent and how he founded GlobalPost.                                                                                                 see CONFERNCE page 3
                                                                       and Suffolk Voice,” said Alex       the panel dealt with where

                                  Cahill talks to the Journal,
News                              touts independent street
"Suffolk participates in virtual Jeff Fish                             ology. You both seem to be fair-    sees 70 percent of spending.”         no longer the party of the middle
college fair" pg. 3                                                    ly moderate socially. You both          Baker took the Big Dig            class. He also accused the party
                                  Journal Staff
                                                                       seem to be fiscally conserva-       money from the taxpayers to           of practicing class warfare and
                                      State Treasurer and Inde-        tive, interested in efficiency in   the Mass. Turnpike Authority,         trying to use the private sector
Opinion                           pendent candidate for gover-         government,” said Kevin Mar-        which worked in the 1990’s, but       as a scapegoat, when there was
"The day I become your "fan"      nor, Tim Cahill, sat down with       shall, a Suffolk Law student.       “became broke because of what         plenty of blame to go around.
is the day pigs fly" pg. 6        the Journal for an interview, dis-        Cahill responded by saying     Charlie Baker and Gov. Weld did            “We were the part of the lit-
                                  cussing issues in his campaign       that he preferred to separate       and the way that they did it.”        tle guy, but of the little guy that
                                  and issues that he highlighted       ideology from action. “Charlie          Cahill left the Democratic        wants to work and is not look-
Arts &                            in a recent event hosted by the      Baker was the state financial       Party and chose not to enter          ing for a handout and I feel that
                                  Suffolk Law Rappaport Center.        officer for the state back in the   the Republican Party because          that’s been missing,” said Cahill.
Entertainment                         Cahill, a lifelong Democrat      90s. He oversaw the Big Dig,        “both parties seem to be fo-               He voted for John Mc-
"Howard Zinn tribute at Suf-      until 2009, changed his politi-      which we are paying for today.      cused more on what’s good for         Cain in 2008 because he “was
folk" pg. 4                       cal affiliation to Independent       As the A&F (administration and      their party and what’s good           better suited and had a bet-
                                  before he began running for          finance) secretary, you are the     for their base and not what’s         ter philosophy,” and that
                                  governor with what many per-         governor’s chief budget writer.     good for the American peo-            Obama had many of the same
Sports                            ceive as a Republican platform.      You are the governor’s CFO,         ple and the people of Mass.”          people in his campaign as
"Men's Tennis aiming for          “I’ve been trying to contrast in     which makes you practically             He said that he has always        Governor Patrick, whom he
NCAA berth" pg. 8                 my head your difference from         the CFO of the entire state, be-    been a fiscal conservative and
                                  Charlie Baker’s in terms of ide-     cause the governor’s office over-   that the Democratic Party was                       see CAHILL page 3

To top