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THE INCREDIBLY LAZY STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SUFFOLK UNIVERSITY • BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS VOLUME 70, NUMBER 20 WWW.SUFFOLKJOURNAL.NET April 1, 2010 Ride Along busts eight-year-old's party Police cite rowdy game of musical chairs Rusty Shackleford hood Response head Richard Journal Contributor Grealish released this state- ment: “It is in our best inter- est to investigate any noise we The Suffolk Ride Along may hear on the street or calls Program and the Boston Police we receive. Until we arrive on Department were caught with the scene, we have no way of cake on their faces last Saturday knowing what kind of party is night after responding to a noise going on. Most of the time it is complaint on Myrtle St. in Bea- college students drinking un- con Hill. What they perceived derage and we must keep them to be college party turned out to safe as well as our surround- be a slumber birthday party for ing neighbors and community.” eight-year-old Susie O’Brien. Beacon Hill resi- “I was shocked to find police dents, especially those with when I answered the door,” said young children, disagree. Susie’s father, David O’Brien. “There is no reason that “I thought it was the clown.” Photo by thelazydba/ flickr Suffolk University and their Apparently the “noise” the friends in the Boston police Children having fun at a birthday party moments before it came to an abrupt end. police were drawn to was a should have any authority rowdy game of musical chairs. completely ruined my little is terrified. She cried the rest of “Not only did they con- over how much noise our chil- “We didn’t even think the mu- sweetie’s party. Why can’t Suf- the day, didn’t want to touch her fiscate the juice boxes, but dren make,” said Terry Bitias, sic was that loud, but when folk University stay out of our presents and she screams every that Grealish guy and the mother of seven-year-old Mi- you have a bunch of scream- business? If we want to throw time he sees a pig on the street.” rest of the cops helped them- chael. at the Myrtle St. play- ing eight-year-olds, it can get a loud party for our daugh- According to the police selves to food and complete- ground yesterday. “In our own crazy,” said Susie’s mother, ter, we should be able to!” report, three crates of Welch’s ly devoured the cake before homes, we can make as much Coco. “But, we were playing The after-effects are far grape juice boxes were confiscat- we even sang,” said David. noise as we want playing musi- music for children, not some greater than parental rage, how- ed, along with bottles of Sprite, Instead of admitting the cal chairs. I wish Suffolk would loud college gangster rap. They ever. Coco added, “Now Susie and IDs of parents were taken. mistake, Office of Neighbor- stay out of our business.” nside Sargent gambles Suffolk away ournal the Turd Fergusen awry if players are not fully ties in China and begin expan- Trustees voted unanimously Journal Contributor aware of the rules of the game. sion plans into Chinatown.” yesterday to give $3.9 million “He said he knew what he President Sargent and pensions to their new mem- News President David gent has lost Suffolk Univer- Sar- was doing,” said former Vice President for External Affairs, John Nucci were the first to be laid off by the new adminis- bers, Shi Ning and Nong Jin Hui, who have recently moved "Karl Hoffman shot by Dick sity and his own wallet is the now-unemployed John tration, and Sargent, having to Boston from Hong Kong. Cheney" pg. 3 $2.8 million lighter after he Nucci. “He didn’t. He didn’t.” bet his retirement, can now be “It’s important to show our allegedly doubled down on Suffolk will now be ful- found in front of the Red Hat, appreciation for the hard work a fatal game of Shing-hai sa- ly owned and operated by where he has taken over Spare Opinion they’ve done,” said interim bu shing over spring break. Triad Society, the infamous Change guy’s responsibili- chairwoman Carol Sawyer "The woman column" pg. 6 During a weekend trip to Chinese organized crime cir- ties (see the Sports section for Parks. “These guys work hard Las Vegas with Vice President cuit. Leaders include judg- more about Spare Change guy). and they deserve every penny.” Nancy Stoll, Provost Barry es, politicians and lawyers. Vice President Stoll, who No word yet has been Arts & Brown, and the Board of Trust- ees, President Sargent apparent- Provost Brown is optimis- tic about the shift, although many hope will be promoted to President by the new adminis- given on whether Suffolk will be sold on the black market Entertainment ly got into the heated card game with a group of Chinese busi- he is concerned that his po- sition in the University ad- tration, said that she is still up- set with President Sargent for in the “combat zone” in Chi- natown again next month, al- "They Seriously Bent! Seri- ness men who later revealed ministration may be at risk. betting the University and that though rumors persist that, ously..." pg. 4 they were members of the Triad. “I think Triad will fit in he owes her “over $15,000.” along with two Bently's the 10 Shing-hai sa-bu shing, a well with us,” he told The Jour- “You know I’m nev- West St. dorms’ occupants, and Sports popular game that involves elements of poker, mahjong nal in a video that showed the Provost with his hands tied be- er going to get that mon- ey back now,” said Stoll. the sushi chefs in the Donahue Café, the University’s buildings "Seeking his degree, James and roulette and that opts for hind his Brookstone massage Besides being totally bank- will be up for bidding soon. enrolls at Suffolk" pg. 8 jelly beans instead of the tra- chair. “Now we can open up rupt and owned by notori- ditional chip, can often go more study abroad opportuni- ous mafia bosses, the Board of PAGE 2 April 1, 2010 news Karl Hoffman shot by Dick Cheney BRIEFS Farkas Bulkmeier Journal Contributor Suffolk Junior, Hoffman, President of Suf- folk GOP is the latest vic- Karl ed for his gunshot wound. Hoffman’s physician, Dr. Morty Goldsteinberg, said that the bullet entered Hoffman’s left buttock and remained lodged there until it was re- be spending time with some- one that has done so much for this country and who helped to keep us safe for so many years—first as Secretary of De- fense and then as Vice Presi- POLICE BLOTTER tim of Fmr. Vice President moved during surgery. He is ex- dent—was a dream come true.” Dick Cheney’s Shotgun. pected to make a full recovery. This shooting marks sec- The incident occurred Sat- “At least he didn’t get ond one in four years for the urday morning after Hoffman the right one,” said Hoff- former Vice President—the was invited by Cheney to go man, joking about his right- first one occurring in 2006 hunting with him as an effort leaning political affiliation. while he was still in office. The Wednesday, March 24 to reach out to young Republicans across the first victim, 78-year- old Harry Whitting- 7:23 a.m. country. Cheney alleg- "...the bullet entered Hoff- ton, a campaign con- edly mistook Hoffman tributor, was shot 10 West Unicorn spotted by residents on the fifth floor for a deer and shot him in the left buttock. man’s left buttock and re- with birdshot that hit his face and chest dur- on 10 West St. Nothing found. Report filed. Witnesses say that mained lodged there until it ing a quail hunt on a Cheney seemed not ranch in South Texas. to realize, or admit was removed during surgery." “At least I got 8:48 a.m. that he shot a per- off lighter that guy,” son instead of a dear. said Hoffman. “I Law School “He shouted, mean, that guy Medical call for a student who argued him- ‘Look at the size of that deer!’ Hoffman was chosen out of got shot in the face.” self into a coma discussing the health care before running away into the hundreds of GOP Presidents in Whittington decided not to bill. EMS on scene. Report filed. woods,” said Park Ranger the nation to go on the exclu- press charges, but Hoffman is Bobby Hunter. “He runs sur- sive hunting trip with Cheney. not yet sure about his course of prisingly fast for an old guy “I was so honored to be action. “It was just an accident,” Thursday, May 25 that’s had five heart attacks.” Cheney’s whereabouts invited by Vice President Cheney,” said Hoffman, ly- he said. “But it has happened twice now and I wouldn’t want 8:48 a.m. are currently unknown, but ing on his right side in a hos- it to happen to someone else.” Law School one witness, ten-year-old pital bed. “I got a call from If Hoffman does decide to Woman arrested for screaming about the Walt Lloyd, claims to have his secretary about a month press charges it will be difficult, seen Cheney just before he and she told me that [Cheney] sky falling. Law students on scene to help as Cheney is nowhere to be seen. disappeared. “He was run- was had been looking at dif- “Weajhfasdlfkjas,” said her case. Report filed. ning through the woods and ferent school’s GOP clubs and Hoffman as the morphine all the sudden he turned into was impressed with ours.” kicked in during an inter- this weird black mist and then He added that he is an view with the Journal. “ls Friday, May 26 vanished. It was really scary.” avid hunter and jumped at the ngdslnvlvnrsbnhadsfjpogj Hoffman was admit- invitation to go hunting with ;nadsk;lvmsfnsadk;lgasgjk 8:51 p.m. ted to Mass. General Hos- Cheney and other high profile ;lagh SHOT IN THE ASS.” Ridgeway Bookstore pital where he was treat- Republicans in the state. “To Units called for a homeless man making clothes out of economics books. BPD notified. Report filed. Billy Dee Williams selected as commencement speaker for 2010 Saturday, May 27 Aggro Crag tant issues as halting global Student affairs spokesman, Journal Contributor warming on Hoth and control- Senni Tonnika, told the Journal ling the Taunton population. that “[Carlissian] was the obvi- 1:14 a.m. Carlissian is an intergalac- ous choice as the commence- 10 Somerset According to the Univer- tic hero: he went undercover ment speaker. His leadership Group drunk in public with excessive party sity, actor Billy Dee Williams to rescue fellow Alliance pilot and bravery are admirable paraphernalia and farm animals outside 10 will reprise is epic Star Wars and friend Han Solo from infa- qualities we all can learn from.” role as Lando Carlissian as the Somerset Street. Report filed. mous Tatooine organized crime Bib Fortuna, a political science commencement speaker to the leader Jabba the Hutt; and lead major on schedule to graduate 2010 graduating class. Carlis- the second attack in a success- this spring spoke enthusiasti- sian, a general in the Rebel Al- ful mission to once again blow cally when told the news. “I liance, has not been portrayed Sunday, May 28 by Billy D. since Return of the up the Death Star and destroy the Empire for good. Neither can’t believe we got such a fan- tastic speaker this year. What- Jedi. He did, however recently Billy D. nor Carlissian have a ever he speaks about, I’m sure 9:02 a.m. provide the voice to Lando college degrees themselves, but it will be better than what the on Adult Swim’s stop-motion Public parody show, Robot Chicken they were thrust into real life fart Kopple spoke about at the Optimus Prime spotted walking on Tremont and ran for leader of the galaxy and their experiences should last graduation.” said Fortuna. be beneficial wisdom to the “Being more polite to each oth- Street. Report filed. against Emperor Palpatine. He new graduates as they join er? What a f*cking cop-out.” campaigned on such impor- the working world (or don’t). PAGE 3 December 9, 2009 Mitch Vieira's secret Venus Williams replaced by a cyborg identity revealed programmed to destroy Suffolk 'Bearded Vigilante' cleans up Emerson's 'Tightpants Underground' suspected streets of Boston Gunther Humperdink tually making. We had no idea what the cyborg was going to where she was exposed to actu- al music. The hospital released Journal Contributor Pete Kachu suit was co-produced by Ar- that she had been exposed to be used for. Plus, it was a chal- mani and Vieira. The technolo- By checking SU Mail at lenge to make, which is alwaysextensive amounts of Drop Journal Contributor gy is classified by the U.S. gov- any point in the day, the stan- fun. I hope no one got hurt.” Dead Gorgeous and The Devil Junior Mitch Vieira, the re- ernment and cannot be printed. dard Suffolk student knows the The Tightpants Under- Wears Prada, which could have cently elected SGA president Vieira, although recently name Venus Williams. Little do ground’s terrorism completely melted her mind. group for the fall of 2010, was spot- being discovered as a super- they know that Williams has has attacked Suffolk be- “Thank goodness for ted behind the Donahue build- hero, has been up to fight- recently been outed as a cyborg fore. The Suffolk mascot, her rescue,” said hospital ing last night flying away in ing for justice for over a year. with diabolical plans to destroy Rammy the Ram, was kid- nurse Peggy Sue. “Anymore an armor-plated suit while his Random accounts of bystand- Suffolk from the inside out. napped last year and tortured.exposure to that lousy ex- facial hair shed divine light ers who have been left dumb- Cyborg Williams’ original “The acts of terrorism to-cuse for music would have upon the streets of Boston. founded by their rescues mug- plan was to drown students wards Suffolk by the Tight- surely put her into an irre- “It was like he was a su- gings and theft all point to in mass amounts of unneces- pants Underground are un- versible state of vegetation.” perhero or something,” said Vieira. One man in Downtown sary emails about happenings called for and a fierce comment The Cyborg Williams Proj- Peter Tulip, a resident of Tem- Crossing said that Vieira saved around campus. With too much on today’s youth,” said Vice ect was luckily caught, stopped ple Street. “I was just walk- him from a gang of “no good information, students began to President Nancy Stoll. Stoll’sand dismantled by the Suf- ing my dog as normal and I hooligans” who were going suffocate, not able to relieve eyes glossed with tears as folk Technology Department. saw a younger man in quite to jump him. Vieira was said their inbox- “That ter- the flashy suit, I think it was to have used his facial hair to es in time. rorist group probably Armani. All of a sud- tangle and defeat the hood- “ T h e from Emer- den his facial hair grew to un- lums, leaving them for the sorting was son had big speakable lengths and shone BPD to collect and interrogate. driving me plans up their brightly, lighting up the al- “The interrogations are insane!” sleeves,” said ley like a lamp. It was eerie.” surprisingly easy when Vieira exclaimed Bill Jeen, a More sightings across Bos- cleaned up for us,” said Dan- junior Fe- senior engi- ton have been reported. Accord- ish. “It was like there was some licity Phoe- neering ma- ing to police filings, a bearded truth serum in the hair fol- nix. “My SU jor. “After vigilante has been cleaning up licles that bound the offenders. account is seeing Venus the streets of crime, leaving They confessed immediately.” linked to my spark in the no traces except long glowing Current president of the Gmail ac- hallway, I fig- hair follicles on the pavement SGA, Brian LeFort ran into count. I had ured some- and the criminal’s clothing. some trouble last year and to save my thing was up. Vieira is now under question- was frozen in carbonite by the Gmail while I ‘acciden- ing by the police for taking Suffolk GOP. According to Le- I could… tally’ spilled matters into his own hands. Fort, someone in a flashy suit My SU mail water on her “We appreciate the help,” and glowing facial hair was didn’t make soon after to said Officer Paul Danish of the one who rescued him from it…” Phoe- see the ef- the Boston Police Department. his impending doom. “All was nix then fects. She be- “But we have an obligation dark, and then all of a sud- burst into gan to show- and a duty. It’s like this guy den I could feel the air on my tears and er sparks, is trying to be Batman. We face again. I was blind at first, ran away caught fire can handle our jobs just fine.” but as my eyesight returned, I from the in a hallway The public does not agree. could see a figure standing in i n t e r v i e w. in the Ar- Vieira has stirred up the stu- front of me, glowing in some T h e cher building dent body at Suffolk and has sort of aura,” recalls LeFort. real Venus and stopped even begun to receive a cult With all of the support, Williams Photo by Bill Jeen moving.” “fan club” like following. however, come haters. Ju- w h e r e - The Cyborg Venus Williams (after it caught fire). Jeen then “His suit is where his real nior Shannon Shugers open- abouts have finally been un- she recollected Rammy’s ab- took the disabled cyborg back gadgets are!” said Tómas Tin- ly talks about her dislike for covered after intensive inves- duction. “Poor Rammy…” to the labs to investigate. “The kle, freshman and advocate for Vieira. “He’s running around tigation. Emerson College’s Venus Williams was found robot was only on phase one Vieira’s newly discovered night taking people’s jobs just for Tightpants Underground ter- in an Emerson dorm closet, in of her attack. The next phase time occupation. “I’ve seen him fun. He just wants attention. rorist group was found re- a coma from being overdosed would have been a virus in the myself! The suit can morph He has a rather large beard, sponsible both for Williams with hipster music. Mitch multiple emails it was spam- the fibers into a titanium alloy who cares?” said Shugers. kidnapping as well as the Vieira, who has recently been ming people with. This virus is that is very similar to spider Vieira has not been avail- Cyborg Williams attack. Due publicized as a “bearded vigi- capable of causing all the Suf- silk. It hardens with impact but able for comment on his publi- to their lack of talent in the lante” and “superhero” was the folk computers, as well as stu- loosens when Mitch is relaxed. cized powers. Even though he math and sciences area, how- rescuer and brought Williams dent’s laptops, to self destruct!” It’s like it’s a part of him.” is still in police custody, sup- ever, the Tightpants Under- to the hospital. Vieira, who is Cyborg Williams has since Unsure if the claims about port for Vieira’s actions thrives ground had to enlist the help now in police custody for tak- been contained by the CIA, Vieira’s suit are true, The Suf- through the Suffolk commu- of MIT students in Cambridge. ing matters into his own hands, who caught wind of the dis- folk Journal did some extensive nity. Even Provost Barry Brown “We just heard there was was not available for comment. covery moments after Jeen’s research on the now dubbed envies the power Vieira has. an under-the-table cash pay- The Tightpants Underground discovery. In the meantime, “super suit”. The Journal con- “I wish I had facial hair like ment for our services,” said members have yet to be iden- the real Venus Williams is still tacted Armani in hopes that that,” said Brown. “The su- MIT student and worker on tified and have run into the in musical rehabilitation and is they would disclose some in- per suit is pretty cool too.” the Cyborg Williams Project depths of the Emerson sewers. expected to make a full recov- formation. With some exten- Dexter Phillips. “It was very Williams was then hospital- ery within the next few months. sive digging, it was found the hush-hush on what we were ac- ized and put into music therapy, PAGE 4 April 1, 2010 They're Seriously Bent! Seriously... Cairo Practor these fine young comedians,” were optimistic, however, not- it should be a lot easier with my cidences. Emerson Comedy Journal Staff Huxtable stated, adding, “Fraz- ing that physical deformities deformed shoulder blades.” Workshop was recently as- zle snazzle bleeble babble goo can be a great source of come- Ironically, the diagnosis of saulted by a group of large In a shocking revelation, goo ca chu jello pudding pops!” dy. “We’ve got some great jokes scoliosis on the cast of SB has men in capes wielding folding the entire cast of Suffolk Uni- Scoliosis affects seven mil- planned based on our new- some players thinking that the chairs. Boston College’s improv versity’s improv comedy affliction could ac- troupe, Asinine, all recently troupe, Seriously Bent, tually be a bless- broke their tailbones when have been diagnosed ing in disguise. their bus crashed, and Liquid with scoliosis, a degen- “There were all Fun, the improv comedy troupe erative back disease that these competitions of Boston University, recently causes chronic pain. for disabled people had to cancel a performance “We’re all so shocked that we wanted to due to the entire cast com- that this would happen competed in, but ing down with a severe case simultaneously, since sco- couldn’t qualify of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. liosis usually first appears for before, because Reaction to this unfortu- during adolescence,” said none of us were nate situation has been mixed. Seriously Bent player disabled,” said Rob- “Getting IBS is the funniest Christian Roberts, as erts. Seriously Bent thing Liquid Fun has ever he hunched over like a has been sweeping done. I wish I could have been Quasimodo. “My only competitions on there to see that. Be there to hope is that we can still the disabled im- see it, but not smell it,” said compete in nationals.” prov comedy cir- Seriously Bent alumnus Nick Dr. Huxtable, the cuit since the onset Wilson, adding, “I recently Chief of Medicine at Suf- of scoliosis on the Photo courtesy of the Internet went to visit ECW in the hos- folk University’s Student group. SB recently Health Services, was A current photo of Seriously Bent, showing how short Livingston now is. pital, they left me in stitches,” took home the gold he said while laughing hys- duped by the recent turn of lion people nationally. Symp- found appalling mutations; in the Boston Improv Special terically, adding,“Stitches! events. (Get it?! Turn?! Back toms of the spinal curvature Kelly Dooley’s got this great Olympics, in addition to plac- It’s a play on words!” curvature?!) “There really is no associated with scoliosis in- routine going where she plays ing first in the Funny Mutants scientific explanation for how clude uneven musculature on this woman who can’t find her of America Finals and the this could have possibly hap- one side of the spine, rib and own tits. Christian’s got this God’s Most Hilarious Mistakes Seriously Bent’s next show, pened. For years, the medical shoulder blade prominence, hysterical muscle spasm rou- competition in Salt Lake City. Back to Basics, is being performed community has assumed pretty uneven hips or leg lengths, tine going,” said player Trevor Remarkably, a number of at the C. Walsh Theatre on April 20. safely that you can’t wake up and asymmetric size or lo- Livingston, adding, “I’m going other college improv troupes with a spinal disorder, but ap- cation of breasts in females. to incorporate some popping have become injured in a star- parently, this is the case with Members of Seriously Bent and locking into my shows now, tlingly bizarre chain of coin- [censored] to perform at next PC event Carles blasted throughout the night decided to mix it up with real said Mulholland. “We’ve claimed “I LOVE CREED!” Journal Staff with such messages as "OMG bands and acts that are a lot made sure that to open A*** Boyle, the world’s most avid IM RITE NEXT 2 SEAN KING- more raw than Kingston, Gym C**** up to all the A**** C****s Creed fan, has already contact- Last Monday, Suffolk Uni- STIN!!" and "GIRL TALK IS Class Heroes, or Jason Mraz.” ed the bands versity’s Program Council an- ON ACID." But as the Journal A**l C***, which formed in playing for a nounced their next event, one found out, Program Council West Newton, Massachusetts, chance to sing that is sure to shake up the had actually been reluctant is no stranger to playing base- his favorite student body. The spring con- to book Girl Talk the year be- ments. As a grindcore band, song, “With cert, which will take place on fore, and when the Journal ap- students should expect to have Arms Wide April 17, will feature such acts proached an unnamed former their "f******* ears raped while Open,” at as the bands F**ked Up, The F PC member, his response was people are punching them in the the PC event. U s, and headliner A*** C***. puzzled when asked about skulls and pushing them into “We can’t According to PC president exactly who Girl Talk was. f******* walls." “We expect at wait for A*** Alison Mulholland, the show “Who?” said the unnamed least half of the students attend- C*** to open will take place in a dank base- former PC member. This is ing to be bleeding by the end of up so many ment at the corner of China- when Mulholland decided to the night,” said Mulholland. new things Photo by Flickr user Fay(ola) town and Downtown Crossing. be on the lookout for bands on “I cannot wait to see A*** for us, it’s “We cannot wait for this the rise, so that they could book C***,” said Suffolk junior Co- It's Sean Kingston in a car, heck yes!!!! like this show show, which will be sure to them before the mainstream lin Brown. “When I listen to that come to our shows, we’ve will be the climax of the se- draw out many f*****d up c***s, took them on. This way, stu- A*** C*** I like to run around ordered all the bands to play mester, pushing everything who always attend our pro- dents of the University could my room punching holes in only covers of Dave Mat- into it so that when it’s over, grams,” said Mulholland. “Last truly say that they’ve seen a the walls while tucking (con- thews Band and Creed, which we can all rest until the next semester, we had Sean Kings- real band, not some button- tent deleted) between my legs we know are the favorites time, when someone else will ton and Girl Talk at the House pressing druggie or beauti- like in Silence of the Lambs. of all the Suffolk students.” be coming,” said Mulholland. of Blues, which was a great suc- ful girl singing R&B. “We all I cannot wait to strip down When this was announced, cess.” The show was attended know that R&B isn’t real mu- and do this at the PC event.” Suffolk freshman Ryan Boyle Tickets go on sale at by many and Twitter accounts sic,” said Mulholland. “We’ve “There is a catch though,” jumped up in joy and ex- the HUB on April 2nd. PAGE 5 April 1, 2010 'Xcellent!' to be at Suffolk staff Dingle Barry Journal Staff the national media and has thus brought some of the biggest names in Hollywood out for to recruit one of the biggest names in Hollywood to di- rect to play: Hairspray (New of people telling us they were excited about the scenes where Derek is incarcerated, espe- SOUNDS Earlier this week, the the- auditions. “Michael Richards Line, 1998) and Pink Flamingos cially from people in Boston’s atre department announced has expressed interest in play- (Dreamland, 1972) director Jon performing arts community. It’s they will be performing a mu- ing the lead in the play, so has Waters. Said DeMurcuri, “I was almost as if they’re excited for sical adaptation of American Mel Gibson,” DeMercuri stat- thinking to myself, there has the production for those scenes History X (New Line, 1998), ed, adding, “Montell Williams got to be another way we can and those scenes only…” the 1998 crime drama about has expressed interest in play- make this even more offensive While the theatre depart- Neo-Nazi Skinheads in Venice ing the role of Dr. Sweeney.” than it already is. And then- ment wants to keep the details Beach, California. The musical There have been, however, BAM!- it hit me: Jon Waters.” of the musical out of the public comedy rendition of the criti- some problems regarding the Said Waters of the creative di- eye until the play is ready to cally-acclaimed film will be ti- concern that having a star-stud- rection he intends to take with debut, members of the theatre tled American History: Xcellent! ded cast will deny current Suf- the play, “I can’t give away too department have announced “I feel we don’t get to folk students the opportunity much regarding my vision for a partial listing of some of the cover controversial topics in to perform in the production. the production, but I will say songs that the audience can ex- Bon Jovi musicals enough these days. Regarding these inquiries, The- this: these are going to be the pect to hear throughout the en- "You Give Love a Bad Name" Well, other than AIDS. We do atre Department spokesperson most fabulous Nazis to ever semble. The song list includes GET PSYCHED! talk about AIDS a lot,” stated David Duke indicated that it grace a stage. Quentin Taran- such gems as “White Man Runs -Barney Stinson theatre department chair- will be easy to bystep the uni- tino, you ain’t got shit on me.” the Basketball Court,” “Fuck man Fred DeMercuri, add- versity’s policy by simply en- The plot of the musical Rodney King,” “Corey Mat- ing, “AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS rolling the star-studded cast as closely follows the film, open- thews has a Racist Dad,” and AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS.” full-time students for a semes- ing with the notorious execu- the grand finale, “It’s All Right if For a small, private uni- ter. When asked if this was fair, tion scene by Derek Vineyard, It’s all White.” One of the more versity, Suffolk has managed or even allowed, Duke let loose and from there covering Vine- memorable dance renditions to pull some top-notch talent a string of racial epithets and yard’s attempts to reach out to is entitled “Bite the Curb,” in in the lead parts. Although no exposed his chest, proclaiming, his younger brother and dis- which the chorus sings “Bite the roles have been confirmed in “This means not welcome.” courage him from joining the curb, bite the curb! You freakin’ casting, members of the the- In addition to recruiting a world of Neo-Nazis as he did. minorities, you never learn!” atre department have indicated star-studded cast for the pro- The prison scenes are expected Tickets for American His- that the controversial topic will duction, the Suffolk Theatre to be very enticing. Said De- tory: Xcellent! go on sale probably grab the attention of Department has been able Mercuri, “We’ve gotten a lot this Friday at the Hub. Creed ODB back for the children "Greatest Hits" You'll never catch me NOT listening to this! -Ryan Boyle Joe Bananas don’t get it twisted ya’ll, it’s then come back for no reason, will feature on this much-an- Journal Staff for the children, it’s for the just to be takin’ the spotlight ticipated record. “T.I. was gun- children,” said Jones of his off- of other niggaz in the game? nin’ for a spot on the record, I After dying in 2004 due to a stage antics, adding “Ha- told him massive drug overdose, the re- hahaha! Wu Tang! Holla! we’ll shoot animated corpse of Russel Ty- Hurra hurra hurra hurra for some rone Jones, a.k.a. the Ol’ Dirty [incoherent rambling].” type of col- Bastard, has announced he is Reaction among other laboration,” stepping back into the studio to members of the Wu-Tang Dirt Mcgirt release another studio album. Clan were mostly positive. remarked. “Don’t call it a come- “I think it’s great, Dirty get- “Fiddy said back,” said the legend- ting’ back into to the stu- he was go- ary Wu-Tang member as he dio, him doin’ his thing and ing to get GlaDDos picked maggots out of his all,” said de facto leader on the re- "Still Alive" ears, guzzled cognac, and lit the RZA. “I just hope he cord or die For some reason, this song was up a crack pipe. “Okay, call it learns from his mistakes, tryin’, so playing everywhere during my a comeback. Skeeee woooo!” you know, it’s like I be tell- I’ll prob- escape from imprisonment. During his lifetime, the ing’ him, ya gotta protect ably have -Chell ODB was known for his off- ya neck.” The GZA credited him on. stage antics as much as his re- himself for the return of the DMX said markable rhyming skills. Be- formerly deceased emcee. he want- tween dropping the freshest “You know, I told Dirty, Image courtesy of Adobe Photoshop ed to do of rhymes, the ODB fathered there’s some things you got something, 13 children whom he spo- to do if you want to come back That some grimey shit right I told him no, he said X was radically paid child support from the dead. It ain’t easy, but there,” said Mel-Man, add- gonna give it to me, so I for, was arrested for stealing you can do it if you listen to ing, “it almost makes me want guess that ain’t happenin’.” a $50 pair of sneakers while these basic instructions before to sew his asshole shut, and ODB’s album, tentatively carrying $500 in cash, inter- leaving earth,” said the Ge- keep feeding him, and feed- titled Shimmy shimmy bitch rupted a speech by P. Diddy nius, adding, “I’m glad I could ing him, and feeding him…” give me dat dub sack before I at the Grammys, and rescued bring him back into this world, The ODB has indicated that go upside your head ooga boo- a little girl from a car accident. even if it is a cold world.” he has had a number of other ga booga bitch I’lllll cripple yo The Beatles “People in the media, Method Man, however, high-profile rappers trying to style (Columbia Records) is "The Beatles" ya meen, they be all like, ya was less than pleased over the get a guest appearance on his set to drop up in yo bitch ass I <3 Helter Skelter meen, saying, shit, like, erratic return of the zombie lunatic. new album, but so far he has whenever Ol’ Dirty motha- -Charlie Manson behavior, and shit, ya meen, “How you gonna die, stay dead, made no guarantees about who fuckin’ feels like it. Recognize. PAGE 6 April 1, 2010 Alert the masses! 2012 is true The Woman Column Boehner said, “If some little kid man and Rush Limbaugh. Ethel Long spawned Latin greats like Ricky Mac A. Roni Journal Contributor somewhere is getting those pre- When asked why Glenn Beck Journal Staff Martin. Roberts told me he had scriptions to cure his ass-mar, was not on the list, Obama said, been studying the band for the Health care reform/ why can’t I get free tanning “He’s actually making a pretty This column has been gain- last month, dancing and perfect- Armageddon is upon us!! from taxpayer dollars?! I say good meal for my dog, Bo.” ing speed lately, and I’m very ing the moves. Recently, Roberts Could it be? Yes, it’s SUCKS TO YOUR ASS-MAR!” As another result of the bill, excited for this week’s column has been spotted taking several true. Our President, Barack In addition to the horrible the government will start tak- ladies! Now, all of you at the Flamenco dancing classes, fur- Obama (Socialist Party-IL), acts Congress committed by ing over the system of Medicare hair salon have told me how ther expanding his body move- actually cares about people passing the health care reform and Medicaid in this country. your mothers have been so ex- ments to other types of dance. who are sick; can you believe bill, there was a student loan re- Oh wait… that’s not a joke... cited to read the column on- Walking down the hallway that?! I can’t. Why should he? form as well. President Obama Health care economists line each week, as they give of the fourth floor, I spotted Mike You know the people who CLAIMS this will lower the also conducted a study call- their dogs pedicures and order Gesualdi and Alex Williams, can’t afford health insurance? burden on college kids every- ing for the repeal of Obam- their peapod service from Stop who host their show, “Wild There are 32 million people where, cutting out the bank as acare; the results are as follows: and Shop. Well, this week, the Wednesdays,” from 7-8 every without it, plus “If we re- Woman Column is all about Wednesday. The show has been 95 percent who peal this legis- men! Yes, men men men, you gaining popularity in the last will be eligible; but guess what? Republican Minority Leader lation, millions of people will love them, you hate them, you love to play with their emotions few weeks. As they were finish- ing up, Gesualdi kept on check- They don’t de- serve it! Our John Boehner has stated that he die, which is, quite frankly, for your own personal gratifica- tion. We all know that men are ing his phone. I asked him what was up, and he said that he was tax dollars are will give up tanning because his a good meth- just pawns in the game of life, and that it doesn’t matter if they going to be late for the showing of Dirty Dancing down at the going to bet- ter the society health insurance plan will not od of popula- tion control; have feelings or not, but I’ve Coolidge Corner Theater. Ge- around us, and kids too! Kids! cover it. millions will die out, and been having a couple of good conversations with some of sualdi told me that since he first watched the movie at the age of The Con- we won’t the top men at this university, nine, he had been in love with gressional Bar- have to wor- and I’ve figured out that they the sensual, provocative film. becue Office has predicted that the middle man between you ry about the government actually have quite the emo- It really touched him, so much the Health care bill will actu- and your government loans. spending so much money tional, estrogen-fueled, femi- that he can sometimes be heard ally skyrocket the deficit by What Obama didn’t tell you was on them. It’s quite simple.” nine side to them. Men have reciting Swayze’s lines through- $6,000 bajillion. Yes, bajillion. that you actually need to visit When Nancy Pelosi was feelings too, and when they’re out the fourth floor of Donahue. The CBBQO could not provide the White House every week asked how she got the votes, she feeling down, they go to cer- “Where the f*** is Ryan me with any additional statis- until you graduate and sip on didn’t answer, mainly because tain extents to comfort them- Boyle?!” It seems as if Boyle is tics because they were too busy his delicious kool-aid...mmm... her face was too stiff to talk from selves. These, my friends, are a wanted man, a guilty pleasure chowing down on ribs and kool-aid...all while drafting all those Botox injections. Her re- what we call “guilty pleasures.” in himself. Many of the mem- steak, knowing they will be cov- up his “real” birth certificate. sponse was simple; she clapped This entire investigation bers of Suffolk University have ered by the new health plan... If that isn’t bad enough, her seal-like hands together started last week as I was talking found comfort in the Freshman Meanwhile, Republican President Obama actually and started rolling around on a to Suffolk GOP President Karl from Wellesley. In the residence Minority Leader John Boehner signed an executive order in- ball inside the House Chamber. Hoffman outside of the Dona- halls, “Sexy Ryan” is usually has stated that he will give up stituting death panels for the At least she didn’t throw hue Building. We were discuss- the subject of conversation. In tanning because his health in- following individuals: Nancy her gavel...Heeeeeeey Presi- ing his upcoming hunting trip the Donahue building? Many surance plan will not cover it. Pelosi, Joe Biden, Sarah Palin, dent LeFort! (Love you). with former VP Dick Cheney, presidents of many organiza- Can you believe that? Today, Keith Olberrman, Karl Hoff- and how he hoped Cheney tions constantly ask for his help, would be safer than he was a since he is the computer whiz, Carrots now deemed sickly couple of years ago. Suddenly, I extraordinaire. However, Boyle heard the sweet sounds of 90’s has a guilty pleasure of his own: fem-act Alanis Morisette sing- those living in the dorm on Faye Kinnit drunk the equivalence of what gone, your friends constantly ing her song “You Outta Know.” West Street can constantly hear Journal Staff feels like twice your weight. tease you while you whine I asked Karl about this, since it the sounds of faux-grunge band When snapping out of the danc- about the history of the hundred seemed very out of character Creed coming from his room. We all grew up with our ing daze in a whirl of blaring dollars you sacrificed for it. Car- for him. He answered that ever As Boyle walks around the city, parents forcing us to eat veg- music and flashing lights, you rots make you sick; this never since he was young, he had this his iPod constantly plays “With etables, especially carrots. notice your face is in the bath- happens with any other food. comforting feeling every time he Arms Wide Open” on repeat. “They’re good for your eyes!” room sink above a swamp of or- Vitamins and minerals in heard the Canadian's voice. He So, men have their guilty they would persist. “They help ange. You ask yourself why you carrots benefit the liver... until also told me that he, every now pleasures too. Who would’ve prevent sickness!” In reality, ate carrots (of all things) before- they come right back up. Maybe and then, will watch Degrassi: known that Nick DiZoglio had carrots not only make you sick, that’s why carrots are said to de- The Next Generation just to hear a thing for Grey’s Anatomy, or but they also dent your rep. crease obesity. An overdose on people talking in the same way that Brian LeFort is so obsessed Remember that girl who carrots will not only make you that Morisette does. Hoffmann’s with VP Stoll that her face is his got sick from carrots? Cringing vomit- it can turn your skin or- favorite character? Manny. desktop background? Give your at the thought, she now advises ange. Then you’ll end up as one Walking back into the build- men what they want, because everyone not to eat them. Try of those spray tanorexics you ing, I found Seriously Bent fun- we all know they love these re-living that experience; a busy hate. And you will be judged. nyman Christian Roberts on the things, but are just too stubborn Friday of your life as a college hand and regret it fully- why On a brighter note, in phone. When he got off, I quick- to come out with it themselves. student, with no time to eat any- wouldn’t you? By this point, you the event you vomit carrots ly told him about Hoffman’s This is a call for all men to come thing decent. Hours into the day, can barely stumble out of that when none were consumed, situation. He said it was pretty out with their guilty pleasures, you have a minute to mow a bag club into which you snuck with then that orange stuff is sim- funny, then a book fell out of his because, who knows, maybe of carrot sticks in between class that fake you have... well, had. ply part of your stomach wall pocket. The book? The story of some of them can find wom- and getting ready to go out for The next morning, when lining. Unless you’re a rabbit. Menudo, the Puerto Rican boy en who love the same thing. the night. By ten o’clock, you’ve you realize your fake really is Just don’t eat them at all. band from the early 90’s that PAGE 7 April 1, 2010 Poll: Boston, New York have the Sports briefs least passionate baseball fans Rams in the running to join NCAA tournament Rumors have been circulating for weeks about the expan- Fans in Pittsburgh and Kansas City top the list again sion of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament to include 96 teams, but the issue has now taken on a local significance. stadiums more reminiscent of some solid fundamental bas- An NCAA source told the Suffolk Journal on Sunday that Tim Naehring libraries than rollicking arenas. ketball; none of that flashy Suffolk was one of many teams being considered for entry Journal Staff Speaking with local nonsense. I love a good basket- into the expanded field, a decision that could be an econom- fans from both New York ball game; baseball bores me.” ic windfall for the school. Despite being a Division-III school and Boston, there was a Felix Potvin, a limo driver, in athletics, the NCAA cited the school’s proximity to the ESPN Sports Poll, which sense of indifference and al- was standing on a corner in the State House as a reason for possibly including the Rams. “To prides itself on “capturing the most animosity when they Bronx wearing a Derek Jeter be honest, the board of directors was more interested in try- pulse of sports fans all around were told of the recent poll. jersey, but it wasn’t on purpose. ing to get a guy inside the State House so we could host the the globe,” recently released “I honestly don’t care what “Man, some guy just stole 2015 Final Four in Boston for free,” said the source. “We were the 2010 edition of its Major some poll says about love for my car…he took my shirt and trying to invite the State House janitors’ basketball team, but League Teams and their Fans the game,” explained Jason hat too,” exclaimed an agitated the mailman delivered it to the wrong address. Once we saw poll. This list, compiled by mar- York, a sports fan at the Great- Potvin. “This piece of cloth was how excited Suffolk got, we kind of felt bad about taking the keters and strategists at ESPN, est Bar, a hotspot for local deni- on the ground over there next invitation away.” Early odds in Las Vegas have the Rams as a is an industry leader when zens of Boston. “All I care about to the dumpster, I figured it 1,000,000-1 shot to win the 2011 men’s basketball championship. it comes to capturing which is the Bruins and Patriots, base- was better than nothing. What teams have the most die-hard ball isn’t a real sport. I can’t are the ‘Yankees’, anyways?” enthusiasts, the fans who stick remember when the last time I The Red Sox and Yan- Vick to open animal shelter with their team through thick went to Fenway Park is. In fact, kees may have two of the best Michael Vick is a changed man. Just a couple of years re- and thin, through gut-wrench- my buddy Sully offered me teams in baseball, but their moved from his imprisonment on dog-fighting charges, Vick ing losses and exciting wins. tickets to the playoffs last year, fans don’t seem to have the has turned over a new leaf: he will be opening a shelter for dogs, Not surprisingly, the and I took them, but no one love for the game and the en- wolves and other canines in Georgia, the state where he reached Pittsburgh Pirates and Kan- wanted to go with me. I ended thusiasm necessary to watch. NFL stardom as a member of the Atlanta Falcons. According to sas City Royals topped the up using them to stop a rattling With the season starting the shelter’s website, www.VicksPuppyPicks.com, Vick started list—the fifth time in the last window in my apartment.” and fans around the coun- the shelter to give back to the community after feeling guilty six years they have been one Approached by a friend and try waiting in earnest for an- about his past actions. His website is seeking specific types of or two in the poll—giving told that the Sox open up the other thrilling season of base- dogs, however, particularly “pit bulls, Rottweilers, gray wolves, these sports-crazed towns season this Sunday against the ball, some fans clearly are coyotes, and other dogs that love a good fight, uh...I mean, a bit more bragging rights. Yankees, York waved him off. more prepared than others. hug.” Vick’s shelter seems to be a bit difficult to find, as the “It doesn’t really surprise “The Bruins will make For the Big Apple and the website instructs potential customers to “turn left at the pile of me at all,” said Eric Simon, 45, a run at the end of the sea- Hub of the Universe, hockey dog cages, go around to the back of the ominous gray building, a long-time season ticket hold- son and surprise people in and football will continue to knock twice and ask for Dave.” The website also says that all er for the Pirates. “We [the fans] the playoffs,” he said. “Any- be the biggest attractions. The people bringing dogs to the shelter must sign a waiver and pay come to every home game with thing after that I won’t watch.” Bruins are battling with the a $45 fee, as “doggy boxing gloves don’t pay for themselves.” the same intensity, and we are “Boston just isn’t really a Rangers and Thrashers for a honored to be recognized. No baseball town,” said Petr Ten- playoff seed, and the Jets and XFL to return in May matter what happens in my life, krat, a bartender at Sully’s Tap, Patriots are headed for an in- Hold onto your hats, folks: it’s back. The most popular out- I know I will always have one just steps from the TD Garden. teresting renewed rivalry. law football league in the history of the world will be returning love—and that’s the Pirates.” “Last fall, I changed the chan- Both cities are rich in his- in May, armed with new rules, new owners and a whole new atti- Bringing up the rear of this nel on one of the TV’s from a tory. Both have successful sport tude. The XFL, backed by new owners DMX and Busta Rhymes, widely-viewed and respected Patriots’ regular season game franchises that flourish. The will debut as a four-team league: the Bustaville NeckBreakers, list, filling out the bottom of the to a Red Sox playoffs game, and fans, however, have continued the Where Tha Hood At? Dogs, the Airport Parking Lot Larceny spectrum, are the Boston Red there was bedlam…a group of to display a low level of passion. and the Manhattan Weapons Charges. The NFL released a state- Sox and New York Yankees. guys threw their beer bottles at One can’t help but ad- ment in response to the XFL’s announced return, saying, “The Widely considered to be me, I had to duck and cover. Peo- mire the dedication of the NFL welcomes back the XFL, and will no longer be playing on the home of the “least passion- ple here do NOT like baseball.” fans of the Pirates and Royals, days when the XFL has games scheduled. We, as a league, re- ate” fan bases in all of baseball, Fans in New York City two teams with strong tradi- alize that there is no way we can compete with the XFL, and neither city seems to capture echoed the sentiments of tions and strong fan bases to respectfully yield to this new upstart league.” As of today, the the essence of America’s Pas- their Boston counterparts. match. Fans in Boston and XFL is planning to hold its games on Sunday, meaning that the time. While their counterparts “I just don’t care about New York could learn a lot NFL will not have any games this season. For the time being, in hockey, basketball, and foot- baseball,” said Angelo Le- from their counterparts in there is no timetable for the NFL’s return to action. According to ball always have roaring and one, a hot dog vendor on 5th Pittsburgh and Kansas City. X and Rhymes, the four teams are just a start for the league, and rollicking fans filling their re- Avenue. “My favorite sport more will be added within two years. The two most likely places spective stadiums, the baseball is the WNBA. I love the New for expansion are Newburyport, Mass. and Biddeford, Maine. teams often play to half-empty York Liberty. Those girls play Woods to speak at abstinence program Source: B's Satan may be Devil's son after all A New England church is turning to one of America’s A new tell-all book is re- Slovakian Satan is his after all. with his son, Lou maintains that highest-profile athletes to mold the young minds of the par- vealing a lot about a local ath- “I met Miro’s mother he has admired Miro from afar. ish. St. Stastny’s Church in Rask, N.H., has announced a new lete with a unique name. Miro- through Wilt Chamberlain,” “He’s really slick with partnership with golfer Tiger Woods, who will join the par- slav Satan, a Slovakian winger said Lou of the legendary lo- the puck,” said the father of ish on a part-time basis to teach elementary school chil- for the Boston Bruins, has been thario. “I don’t even remember his son. “And I’ve seen him dren about the benefits of abstinence. “We think Tiger will mocked ceaselessly for his “evil” her name; I just remember she score some real dirty, real be a great influence on our kids,” said Fr. Claude Julien. “We last name, but always shrugged called with something about evil goals. He’s certainly got Catholics are a forgiving bunch. Adultery? It’s not adultery off the taunts simply as teasing. being pregnant a couple weeks a lot of his father in him.” unless there are more than 20 mistresses. Tiger has made However, a book set to be after we met in a 7-11 bathroom Miroslav Satan couldn't one or two or 16 mistakes, but we think he’ll be great with released on Monday by the Dev- in Trenton. Needless to say, I lost be reached for comment. the kids. Plus, have you seen how far he can hit a golf ball?!” il himself, published under the her number, and that was that.” -Written by Jozef Stumpel name Lou Satan, alleges that the While he’s never had contact PAGE 8 April 1, 2010 Seeking his degree, James enrolls at Suffolk All-Star will try out for men's basketball team, but spot is far from assured wood and into the classroom. to play right away,” said X. “He Suffolk is to get an education.” home jersey immediately sold Michael Jordan According to the source, knows he obviously has to earn Sources say that Nelson out upon release at the book- Journal Staff James, for one, feels that he his spot in the rotation first. will not treat James any dif- store on Monday. The away jer- is in a great position. ferently and that playing sey is expected to sell out short- “Suffolk is known for time will be hard to come ly as well. Currently, James’ In a stunning turn of events, its business school, and by due to the team’s depth. jersey is the second-highest NBA superstar LeBron James LeBron wants to get his James’ announcement selling jersey in the bookstore’s has decided to forego free agen- business degree,” said X. comes on the heels of last history, coming in just behind cy this coming summer and in- “With all of his endorse- week’s announcement that David Sargent’s “$$” jersey. stead enroll at Suffolk Univer- ment money, LBJ wants to Dwight Howard has voided Though it hasn’t yet been sity starting in fall 2010 in order be able to manage his own his contract with the Orlando confirmed, rumors are circulat- to finally get his college degree. money. He’s tired of agents Magic and will be enrolling at ing that James plans to live in James was expected to be and accountants getting Emerson College in fall 2010 the 10 West dorms next year, the most highly sought-after commission off of his en- to get his college degree. How- as he wants to be closer to his free agent on the market this dorsements and earnings.” ard is one of the biggest stars friend Howard, who is liv- offseason, and would have Along with bring- in the league, and is seeking ing on-campus at Emerson. commanded a deal that most ing some star power to to use his star power to create Next year’s first Rams-Li- likely would have been in ex- the classrooms, James is his own public relations firm. ons tilt will be broadcast live cess of $200 million dollars. In- expected to join Suffolk’s With both James and on ESPN, though it remains stead of testing the free agent basketball team and make Howard in the fold, the uncertain whether or not waters, he decided it was best the Rams a force to be reck- cross-Common rivalry be- James will be in the line-up. to get a college education first. oned with in the GNAC. tween the Rams and Lions Despite the impending The news was first re- However, just because Photo property of David Herrera/WikiCommons will likely be more fiery and arrival of one of basketball's leased by an insider from he’s accomplished a lot in intense than ever before. biggest stars, Suffolk stu- the James camp, who would James is coming to Suffolk to con- the NBA, he’ll be treated After James announced his dents are less than enthused only identify himself as “X.” just like any other incom- tinue his education, but a roster intentions to join the school, with "the King's" decision. It is not known if Athletic ing freshman trying out spot on the basketball team is not Suffolk instituted a season- "He's just going to bring Director James Nelson reached for a spot on head coach out of the question. ticket package to all home photographers and stuff all over out to James back when he Adam Nelson’s basket- games, with discounts given to the place," said senior Mark was in high school. However, ball team. If he does make the He’s hoping that he can walk on students. Prices have yet to be Mowers. "I just hope he doesn't it’s become quite clear with team, James will likely have to the team, spend a couple of announced, but a full season’s hog all of the open gym time, recent developments that Nel- to compete for playing time at games learning the system and worth of games is expected to I need to work on my game." son was very interested in the small forward position, but get in a game or two by Decem- cost over $1,000 for students bringing the basketball star to appears up to the challenge. ber. But make no mistake; his and $2,000 for non-students. Beacon Hill, off of the hard- “Bron-Bron’s not expecting primary reason for attending James’ #23 Suffolk Rams Boston-area icon hired as Rams' mascot "Spare Change Guy" expected to appear at all Athletics Department events said Suffolk’s Head of Mas- I came back outside, he was still get him to put his arm down ted Palmer. “A student came Alexei Zhamnov cot Activity Arnie Palmer. there, and he asked me again if and put the suit on, but once by my office the other day and Journal Staff “Everyone recognizes Spare I had any spare change. He was we did, it’s been great. Of said they saw John at Haymar- Change wherever he is, and so persistent; I couldn’t deny course we haven’t been able ket harassing passers-by for Rammy the Ram, Suffolk he has the exact kind of star that he had quite a strong spirit. to get the suit back, but…” ‘spare oats or grain,’ staples University’s beloved mascot, power we were looking for.” “I went back to my office in Bubier, for one, couldn’t be of a ram’s diet. We may have gets noticed around campus Change Guy, whose real the Ridgeway Building and said happier. When asked how he created a monster, but he’s do- for his unusual size and, for a name is John Bubier, has be- to Coach Nelson, ‘I found our felt about his new job, he re- ing a hell of a job spreading goat, strangely erect posture. come as much a part of Bos- Rammy!’ and that was that.” plied, “do you haaaaaave any the word about Suffolk spirit.” Rammy is recognized wher- ton as the Zakim Bridge. He According to Palmer, Bu- spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare However, Palmer and ever he goes, and is a fixture has been spotted everywhere bier has been running ten c h a n g e ? ” the Athletics Department at Suffolk sporting events. from the Theatre District to miles per day since January to When pressed for further may have had other mo- However, the new man be- Framingham, on Red Line get in shape, and has become comment, he elaborated, saying, tives in hiring Bubier to play hind the mask may be a bit more and Commuter Rail trains. a fixture at the Planet Fitness “GUYS, do you haaaaaaaaave Rammy., mainly green ones. recognizable. He is also known Palmer relayed the follow- on City Hall Plaza, where any spaaaaaaaaaare change?” “Well yes, we were think- wherever he wanders, and is a ing story about how Bubier’s he can often be found talk- Clearly Bubier possess ing of money too,” said Palmer. fixture at Boston Common and new assignment came to be. ing to the treadmills and ha- the persistence deemed so im- “After all, John pulls in well in Downtown Crossing. That’s “I was going to the Dunkin’ ranguing them for any and all portant by Palmer and Com- over $85,000 per year in his right, a Boston legend is coming Donuts on Cambridge Street spare change they may have. pany, and he has no prob- spare change pursuits, and we home to Suffolk University, in a to get a waffle breakfast sand- “We know that he’s a bit lem getting into character. In agreed that he’d give us all of role he was born to play: Spare wich, and Spare Change Guy rough around the edges, but fact, it’s getting him to break the money he earns while wear- Change Guy will be Rammy the was outside,” explained Palm- we think he really has exact- character that’s the problem. ing the suit. And since he won’t Ram for the foreseeable future. er. “He asked me if I had any ly what you need to do this “Well, yeah, we’ve had a take the suit off, we’re looking “We think this role is per- spare change, and I said, ‘no, job,” stressed Palmer. “Sure, bit of a problem getting him at a considerable windfall.” fect for Spare Change Guy,” get away from me, bum!’ When at first it was hard for us to out of ‘Ram world,” admit- PAGE 8 April 1, 2010 Sports briefs Men's tennis aiming “Final Four” set in basketball, hockey for NCAA berth It's nearing national title time again in the NCAA. The GNAC champions,” said assis- “I think I can probably men's Division I basketball and hockey championships will be Matt West tant coach Isaac Stahl, who has go undefeated this year,” he decided within the next two weeks, and the last four teams re- Journal Staff been a part of Suffolk’s tennis said. “It would be great [to maining in each sport have been set. The annual NCAA men's program since 2005. “It won’t go undefeated] but it’s re- basketball tournament has been boiled down from the original Success often breeds be easy but we have a strong ally about the team winning.” 65 squads to just Michigan State, Butler, Duke and West Vir- confidence, either embold- team, with strong leadership For the second year in a ginia. The teams for the national championship will be decid- ening a team to reach new from our captains. The major- row, the team has been listed ed on Saturday, when Michigan State and Butler, both num- levels or allowing a level ity of our starting line-up has as the pre-season number-one, ber-five seeds, will do battle, and number-one seed Duke will of complacency to set in. returned this year. Plus, we based on a poll conducted by play second-seeded West Virginia. Hardwood heroes won't The men’s tennis team have a nice crop of new play- GNAC coaches. While such be the only ones battling for a national title, however, as the opens the 2010 season as de- ers ready to contribute to our high praise could make the men's hockey tournament has its “Frozen Four” set as well. fending Great Northeast Ath- current and future success.” team haughty and a bit lacka- The last four puck teams standing are Boston College, Miami, letic Conference champions, The team can look for- daisical, the coach doesn’t see Rochester Institute of Technology and Wisconsin. Both semi- and the mood surrounding ward to many of last season’s that happening with this group. final games will be played on April 8 in Detroit, as Boston the team is anything but sat- top contributors making an “The biggest obstacle is College will take on Wisconsin and RIT will play Wisconsin. isfied. They have maintaining focus been to the top of throughout the sea- Skinner out at B.C. the conference and son,” said Stahl. “It According to the Boston Globe, Al Skinner's long run as know how to win "I expect us to repeat as GNAC is a hard balance the head men's basketball coach at Boston College is over, as he big matches when between athlet- was fired by the school early on Tuesday. Skinner recently inter- champions. It won't be easy, they really count. ics and academics. viewed for the vacant head coach position at St. John's Universi- With this veter- but we have a strong team." As the semester ty, and was considered one of the top prospects for the job, along an-laden team, led moves forward, it with former UCLA coach Steve Lavin. Recent reports suggested by captains Diego only becomes more that Lavin was St. John's first choice, with Skinner the back-up Alvarado and Jus- challenging to plan, but according to the Globe's Mark Blaudschun, Boston Col- tin Ayoub, another conference even bigger impact this year. achieve academic success and lege Athletic Director Gene DeFilippo has elected to part ways title is more than a possibil- Sophomore Christopher Staley stay committed to the team.” with Skinner regardless of whether or not he gets the St. John’s ity. Just don’t expect them to had quite an impressive rookie “We have been blessed job. Skinner has been the head coach at B.C. Since 1997, and has set their expectations too low. campaign, finishing 8-3 over- with talent and commit- led the Eagles six NCAA tournament appearances, including “This year our team is all in singles play and being ment,” he continued. “As one “Sweet Sixteen” appearance in 2006. According to Blaudsc- looking to go to the NCAA named GNAC Rookie of the an urban school, we have hun, the Eagles will be forced to fire him to pay him $3 million tournament,” said Ayoub, Year. He was the only fresh- been especially fortunate to to buy out the last three years of his current contract. Some of who believes his team can man named to the GNAC All- get so many great players.” the names that have surfaced as potential replacements include not only win the GNAC but Conference Singles First Team, The team played their Harvard’s Tommy Amaker and Richmond’s Chris Mooney. reach the next level, not ex- establishing himself as one first match of the season last actly a surprising proclama- of the premier players in the Thursday, beating Johnson & Woods' return gets more interesting tion for such a talented group. conference early in his career. Wales by a score of 9-0. Both Tiger Woods already has the golf world abuzz with his an- captains began the year 2-0, Reaching that goal can Alvarado was the team’s nouncement that he will play in the Masters starting on April 8, and Staley won his first match only be accomplished by fin- best all-around player last sea- but according to FoxSports.com, fans of awkward moments or of the year as well, starting ishing the regular season un- son, having been named First soap operas may want to tune in as well. Woods, whose string off his sophomore campaign defeated, but considering the Team All-Conference while of mistresses seems to go on forever, is already facing an uphill much like he began last season. level at which the team has winning seven singles matches. climb at Augusta, as intense media pressure and being out of The team is confident and played the past two seasons, Ayoub, who was a Rookie golf for months will make a victory difficult. But he'll have an- ready to win at the highest lev- there is no reason to think of the Year himself in 2007, other distraction: one of his alleged mistresses plans to be at the el. With their past success, there that such a goal is too lofty. has won 18 matches over the tournament in person. According to FoxSports.com, adult film is no reason to doubt them. “I expect us to repeat as course of the past two seasons. actress Joslyn James plans to attend the tournament. Her reasons for doing so, other than shameless publicity, remain unclear, but she has been adamant about getting an apology from Woods. Business school to host sports panel ing http://suffolk.camp7.org. A dependence of the Women's Nets avoid futility mark Dan Ryan reception will follow the event. Professional Soccer League. There hasn't been much for the New Jersey Nets to celebrate Journal Staff The panelists will be Rich The panel will be moderated this season, but the club can take solace in the fact that despite Gotham, president of the Bos- by sports marketing consultant all of their struggles, they won't be the worst team in NBA histo- The Sawyer Business ton Celtics, former New Eng- Karin Piscitelli and Catherine ry. The Nets got their tenth win of the season on Monday night, School is welcoming a number land Patriot Ted Johnson, McCabe, an Associate Profes- beating the San Antonio Spurs for their third win in four games. of big names from the world former Boston Bruin Bob Swee- sor of Marketing at Suffolk. In winning number ten, the Nets ensured that they wouldn't be of sports for a panel called ney, who is currently Director According to the Sawyer as bad as the 1972-1973 Philadelphia 76ers, who currently hold “Emerging Trends in the Busi- of Development for the Bos- Business School’s website, the the record for worst season in NBA history. The 76ers finished ness of Sports.” The panel will ton Bruins Foundation, for- panel will focus on, “Collective that season with a record of 9-73. The Nets appeared to be well be on April 13 at 5 p.m. in Sar- mer World Cup champion and bargaining, athlete injuries and on their way to challenging that mark earlier this year, as the gent Hall at Suffolk Law School. Olympic gold medalist Kris- behavior, league structure, the club started of the 2009-2010 campaign with 18-straight losses. The event is free and is open tine Lilly and Louise Waxler, impact of charitable founda- Now, however, the Nets may be able to climb out of the league's to Suffolk students, alumni, fac- who is Associate General Man- tions and other major issues 30th spot: as of Monday night, the Nets were just four games be- ulty and staff, but those wishing ager and Director of Opera- affect the business of sports.” hind the Minnesota Timberwolves for 29th place in the league. to attend should RSVP by visit- tions for the Philadelphia In- PAGE 7 April 1, 2010 Softball facing key GNAC stretch Alex Mellion the GNAC conference, games Journal Staff that could make or break Men's baseball the rest of the team’s season. April 1 vs. Bridgewater State, 3:30 p.m. The Suffolk women’s soft- “The toughest part of our April 3 @ Norwich, 1 p.m. Women's softball ball team has had a rough first schedule is coming up this April 3 @ Norwich, 3:30 p.m. April 1 vs. Rivier, 3 p.m. half of the season, posting weekend,” said Lemasters. “I’m April 5 @ M.I.T., 3:30 p.m. April 1 vs. Rivier, 5 p.m. just two wins in their first 20 hoping to have a good showing April 7 @ Roger Williams, 3:30 p.m. April 2 @ Emerson, 4 p.m. games. The team began the sea- offensively and defensively.” April 2 @ Emerson, 6 p.m. son March 12 with an eight-day Lemasters went on to Men's tennis April 3 @ Norwich, 1 p.m. April 1 @ Wentworth, 4 p.m. April 3 @ Norwich, 3 p.m. trip to California which includ- cite the youth of this Lady April 3 vs. Albertus Magnus, TBA ed ten games against various Rams team, which features teams from around the coun- eight players who are either try, all ten of which were losses. freshmen or sophomores. Spring sports standings Despite the west coast “Each game is a learn- struggles, head coach ing experience and they have Softball Men's tennis Baseball Keri Lemasters saw posi- shown signs of improvement,” (GNAC) (GNAC) (GNAC) tive signs from her team. she said. “So hopefully the sec- ond half of the season there is 1. St. Joseph's (Maine) 8-0 1. Suffolk 1-0 1. Emerson 3-1 “It was a positive trip, we a dramatic increase in softball 2. Rivier 6-0 2. Emerson 1-0 2. St. Joseph's (Maine) 3-1 played the toughest compe- knowledge and game skills that 3. Emerson 7-1 3. Johnson & Wales 1-1 3. Suffolk 3-1 tition I have seen in the last will help our chances of getting 4. Lasell 5-1 4. Norwich 0-1 4. Albertus Magnus 2-2 five years with Suffolk and we into the play-offs and then being 5. Simmons 6-2 5. Albertus Magnus 0-1 5. Lasell 2-2 faced some unbelievable pitch- successful in post-season play.” 6. St Joseph's (Conn.) 5-3 6. Rivier 1-3 ers,” she said in an email. “By Leading the way offen- 7. Mt. Ida (3-5) 7. Johnson & Wales 1-3 the end of the week, the strike sively for the Rams have been 8. Johnson & Wales 3-7 8. Norwich 1-3 out totals were down and senior Valerie Liberatore and 9. Emmanuel 1-3 we were making good con- sophomore Clara Conklin. Lib- 10. Suffolk 2-6 tact. Unfortunately, the hits *All standings are eratore leads the team with a 11. Pine Manor 0-4 were just not finding holes.” ma2_tribune advert.ai 70.71 lpi 45.00° 30. current as of Mar.3/26/07 10:21:00 AM .442 batting average and Conk- 12. Norwich 0-6 Process Black The silver lining to the lin leads the team with six 13. Albertus Magnus 0-8 Lady Rams’ slow start is the fact that their two wins have home runs and 18 RBIs. The both come against GNAC op- pitching staff has been solid as ■ Great Rates-Why Pay More? C ponents (St Joseph’s of Con- well, with sophomores Liz Gal- ■ Climate necticut and Mount Ida), which vin, Carissa Roche and Brooke Control ■ Drive Thru Loading Area M should bode well for the sec- Hirschfield leading the way. Despite the slow start, theY ond half of their season. The Rams currently sit in 10th place team will have plenty of time CM in the conference, and have to make up ground, as 16 of several key games coming up the Lady Rams’ final 20 games MY against the upper echelon of are against GNAC opponents. CY CMY K 617-268-8282 135 Old Colony Ave. • South Boston, MA planetselfstorage.com PAGE 6 April 1, 2010 The day I become your "fan" is the day pigs fly Children and the urgent Tom Logan need for marriage equality people who write walls of text say this: if you happen to be Courtney Forti fering of countless children. Journal Staff complaining about some stupid an artist, writer, model, or ac- Journal Contributor One comical yet unbeliev- mundane problem that is, for tor/actress, and it’s possible for ably common concern people Facebook offers some posi- the most part, insignificant. The people other than your own Today, not many people have regarding same-sex mar- tive aspects; it’s a great way to status update soapbox users also friends to know who you are, will tell you that when they riage is that gay couples will keep in touch with old friends, make vague complaints about then it is acceptable to make a say “protect children” they automatically raise gay chil- find people with similar inter- someone else on Facebook with- page about yourself. However, mean protect them from gay dren. According to the Child ests, and play games more ad- out ever mentioning their name. for everyone else, this is sim- people. Even better, the major- Welfare Information Gateway, dictive than World of Warcraft. A close relative of the status up- ply a self-made shrine about ity of people would find such a only about 10 percent of chil- That being said, there is also a date abuser is the comment/like how awesome you think you statement incredibly discrimi- dren raised in same-sex house- negative aspect to Facebook. jerk. This person has the ten- are; you’re actually nothing like natory, even hateful. Yet, inter- holds— the same percentage For one, the social network- dency to always like his or her who you make yourself out to estingly enough, the focus on as the rest of the population— ing site is so large it makes me own status updates, therefore be on the ego-stroke fest that is child-welfare has taken center identify as gay. Although this sick at the thought of my gen- coming off as a self-centered your Facebook page. Odds are stage in the debate over same- fact is partially meant to quell eration. That aspect, ladies and idiot. Then you have the invite that you are not that smart, at- sex marriage, with “preser- the fears of those awaiting the gentlemen, is narcissism. Face- gamers. They are the ones who tractive, or funny, and people vationists” pulling out all the imminent homosexual take- book facilitates an environment spam everyone with invitations don’t regard you as highly as stops in their effort to ban same- over, the truly great thing about where any attention-craving to assist them in Mafia Wars or you think. In reality, you’re me- sex marriages by claiming that it is that it illustrates the fact moron is able to create a profile to be their Farmville neighbor, diocre, you’re a dime a dozen; children will suffer if the defini- loving someone of the same sex and pretty much spam “Look at although never getting the hint if you fell off the face of the tion of marriage is expanded. does not define every aspect of me! Look at me!” at any time. you don’t play Farmville and earth, nothing would change. The supposed negative im- peoples’ lives; parents are still I’m sure we all have friends have no desire of helping them. Don’t even bother ask- pact same-sex marriage would going to be parents, human be- who abuse the status update Perhaps the worst of all of ing me to be your Fan. I may have on children ranges from the ings remain human beings, and feature. These people actually these offenders are the people join “If one-million people join personal: children won’t learn just because they are gay doesn’t believe I care about what’s hap- who make “Fan Pages” about this group then I’ll give ev- about appropriate behavior mean they will force it on their pening every second of every themselves. In other words, not eryone a free car” when one and relationships unless raised children or anyone else. Ironi- minute, every hour of every day. being content with their own of my friends sends me an in- by one mother and one father; cally, strict enforcement of sexu- Next are the status update soap- Facebook friends, these people vite, but even I have standards. to the ality hap- box people, also known as the want Fans as well. Now I will soci- pens most etal: if often in chil- The fight against heterosex- dren ual house- learn same-sex marriage is h o l d s about destabilizing millions w h e r e or are children e x - of families. may have posed to deny t o their true same- sexual- sex relationships they’ll begin ity due to their parents’ fear to think that they “should be of societal repercussions. gay” or that it is somehow bet- Eight to 10 million children ter than heterosexuality and, I are being raised by gay and guess in the worse-case scenario lesbian families in the United of this particular concern, we’ll States (according to the Child become a nation of prosely- Welfare Information Gate- tized homosexuals and society way). That’s eight to 10 million will fall into chaos. If anyone children we deny rights and was considering another re- security to when we prohibit make of Invasion of the Body- their families from being recog- Snatchers, this particular twist nized as married on both state may be a gold mine. Further- and federal levels. We have more, many people claim that unintentionally been teach- legalizing same-sex marriage ing the idea that different is will destroy the traditional dangerous, but alienation, low family institution which is so self-esteem, and social anxieties vital to the stability and devel- can all be remedied by devel- opment of children and soci- oping a more inclusive society. ety. This, however, is precisely Legalizing same-sex marriage where the argument slips up. will do just that. It will vali- By pushing to preserve date the experience of millions the status quo— what is be- of families as well as open up ing referred to as family val- our society to the diversity and ues and societal stability— all acceptance that future genera- for the well-being of children, tions not only deserve, but re- the fight against same-sex mar- quire. If we truly want to pro- riage is destabilizing millions tect children, we can and most of families; in fact, it is con- definitely should start here. tributing to the emotional suf- PAGE 5 April 1, 2010 Ross, Rhodes recite at Poetry Center Angela Bray Columbia University. When reading first,” she said. “To be Montana, “Under the South- American Poet. Among the jour- Journal Staff in school, she was an English a good writer, you need to read ern Cross” takes place in Sao nals that have published her major with a minor in music. a lot, and use it for inspiration.” Paulo, Brazil, and “In the Con- poems are American Poetry Re- Suffolk University’s li- “Working on music and voice “Much of my book details servatory” in the Bronx, New view, Columbia, Fence, New Eng- brary in 73 Tremont contains influenced my work, espe- parts of my life,” said Ross. York. Other poems she read land Review, TriQuarterly, and hidden nooks used for things cially with poetry,” said Ross. “Many are about traveling and related to the issues of natu- the Virginia Quarterly Review. on campus that some students Her po- ral disaster, loss, “I think she [Rhodes] of- might not be aware of. One etry has been and miscarriage. fers us, in her poetry, the ex- of these is located towards published in Ross is a contrib- perience of courageous and the back of the third floor, a several jour- uting editor for Ger- imagination,” said Marchant. room dedicated to poetry. Po- nals, including "You can’t write nica: A Magazine of Rhodes told the audi- ets Anna Ross and Martha Agni, The New Art and Politics and ence she would be reading Rhodes read their work in Suf- Republic, The without reading also teaches poetry from work that is in prog- folk’s Poetry Center on Thurs- Paris Review, and writing. For the ress; she also informed of her day evening. “Poetry readings Salamander, and first,” she said. “To 2004-2005 academic working title, “The Beds.” are good because you can hear The Southwest year, Ross taught “My poems do have titles, your own work and consider Review. Ross’ be a good writer, an English 101 and I like them,” said Rhodes, the audience’s reactions,” said chapbook, course at Suffolk. although she sometimes does Ross. Fred Marchant, English Hawk Weather, you need to read a Rhodes is the di- not tell the title when reading. A professor and Director of Cre- has recently rector of Four Way variety of poems were shared, ative Writing and the Poetry been named lot, and use it for Books in New York all with different topics. A few Center, introduced the poets the winner of City and is the au- of them left the audience chuck- and shared their backgrounds. the 2008 New inspiration." thor of three poetry ling, such as those about being “We all have goals in life; Women’s Voices collections: At The scared of frogs, falling into a one of mine was to have Fred Chapbook Prize Gate, Mother Quiet, wedding cake, and eating all of Marchant introduce me at a from Finishing Line Press. different natural landscapes. and Perfect Disappearance (win- the donuts in New York City. reading,” Ross said when step- At the reading, she shared Travel inspires me, as well as ner of the Green Rose Prize). Rhodes teaches at Sar- ping up to the podium. Ross pieces from her chapbook, science and things that I see Her work is published in nu- ah Lawrence College and at holds a BA from Mount Holy- along with more recent poems. and read about.” “Evidence” merous anthologies, including the MFA Program for Writ- oke College and an MFA from “You can’t write without takes place in southwestern Agni, 30 Years, and The New ers at Warren Wilson College. SUMMER I (May 17-July 2) SUMMER I (May 17-July 2) CJN 216 Intercultural Communication, CJN 358 Family Communication, CJN 491 Critical Studies in Reality TV and All courses require Documentary, GVT 110 Introduction to American Democracy, instructor approval. GVT 201 Statistics for Political Science, GVT 281 Intro- duction to Comparative Politics, SCI 161 Physical Science SUMMER II (July 6-August 20) SUMMER II (July 6-August 20) For schedules and instructor ENG 213 English Literature I, PHIL 127 Contemporary Moral Issues: Punishing War Criminals, Engineering Babies, and information, visit Upgrading iPods, SCI 171 The Built World: How Humans Engineer http://www.suffolk.edu/ SUMMER LONG, 10 WEEKS (May 17-July 30) college/40361.html EHS 747 College Admission Counseling Fundamentals SUMMER LONG, 10 WEEKS (June 14-August 20) EHS 748 Fieldwork: College Visits SUMMER LONG, 14 WEEKS (May 17-August 20) Questions? Contact MATH 134 Calculus for Management and Social Sciences, MATH 166 Calculus II Carrie Baldassari, email@example.com, 617.305.6302 PAGE 4 April 1, 2010 Howard Zinn tribute at Suffolk Shoshana Akins ing it only logical for the Uni- man was such an interesting to use it to inspire people,” than gratifying to Langstaff. versity to host the launch of person; we wanted to keep said Jeff Zinn during the trib- “It felt great to speak those Journal Staff his newest book. During his the image he had created. He ute. “We only get to talk to the words,” Langstaff said of her Filling the C.Walsh with the stay at Suffolk, Daughter of Ve- was very receptive to the pro- people who show up to these role in the tribute’s scene. “I passion of politics and theatre, nus and Emma were both per- cess and really understood productions. This is the only have really come to love the the drama of history and the formed on campus, the latter what we were trying to do,” soap box we have, so we have part and it was thrilling just present, and especially with the being an exclusively Suffolk Though the celebratory to make sure to use whatever to play it again. I felt truly joy of memory and admiration, honored to participate.” a winning tribute was put on in Elise Manning, the lo- honor of activist, scholar, and cal actor who read the part playwright, Howard Zinn in of Aramintha in Daughter a manner he would have been of Venus, was also happy to proud of. Zinn would know- offer her time to the trib- since he designed it himself. ute. This being her third Before his unexpected time reading as the spunky, death two months ago, the outspoken daughter in the Beacon Hill Press had planned play, she feels a special a launch celebration of Zinn’s connection to Zinn’s theat- newest book, “3 Plays: The Po- rical motives and his po- litical Theatre of Howard Zinn,” litical ideas on the whole. to be held at Suffolk University. “He saw theatre as a ve- A long time partner with Zinn’s hicle for transporting ideas works, the publishing compa- on a personal and social ny wanted to hold a commem- level,” described Manning. oration of his hybrid talents “He was committed to the by having dramatic readings ideas and the message, but of scenes from the plays fea- really knew how to con- tured in his book, along with vey it to the audience.” an open discussion with the Not only were the ac- revered historian. According to tors and the audience Helene Atwan, Director of the feeling an emotional con- Photo by John Gillooly Beacon Hill Press, Zinn picked nection during this unex- the scenes, he chose the actors, community-run production. night had so suddenly become platform is available to us.” pected tribute, but the unveil- and he explicitly requested Suffolk University ju- a tribute, it went off just as Six prominent New Eng- ing of Zinn’s book has now took long time friend and Boston nior Ryan Began helped pro- planned with the only change land actors read scenes from on a whole new meaning. At Globe theatre critic Ed Siegel to duce the staged reading of being that Howard Zinn’s Emma, Marx in Soho, and Daugh- the start of each published play, interview him on stage. He was Emma during that time, get- son, Jeff Zinn, stepped in for ter of Venus, one of which, Chris Zinn wrote a personal and inti- very involved in the creative ting to interact with Zinn dur- the on stage discussion, offer- Cooper, is an Oscar award-win- mate introduction detailing his process, all the way to the end. ing the managing of the play. ing insight into the making of ning actor who read the role of personal discovery and inspi- “The idea of the book be- “We had to cut down Emma his father’s first production, Marx. Without costumes, sets, ration to create each play. Like gan when he did the Daughter of in order to fully produce it, his inspiration, and his influ- or even multiple rehearsals, the true historian he was, Zinn Venus at Suffolk last year,” said but wanted to keep the huge ence on the lives around him. the scenes vividly depicted the explicitly delved into the works Atwan. moment, the movement, that touched him in his life and “ Tr a g i - and the momentum in time the autobiographical events cally he that Zinn was so captured that shaped him, connecting his died be- by in history and textbooks own experiences to the non-fic- fore the and put a personal edge to tional figures and characters he launch, them, especially now with recreated in his works. Candid but the emotion of his passing. and earnest, these three pref- evening Suffolk professor and aces serve as a last interview was just friend of Zinn, Caitlin with Zinn, giving a final and the way Langstaff, was more than unexpected window into the he envi- happy to play Emma for mind of the cherished activist. sioned the tribute, knowing it “A play, like any other form it. It was would have been some- of artistic expression… has the really thing he really wanted. possibility of transcendence,” perfect.” While Langstaff was in wrote Zinn in the introduc- Zinn New York City a few years tion to “3 Plays." “It can, by had been ago doing another pro- imaginative reconstruction of a Distin- duction, Zinn came to her reality, transcend the conven- guished opening night, handed her tional wisdom, transcend or- Visiting his script, and told her she thodoxy, transcend the word of Scholar Photo by John Gillooly would be perfect to play the establishment… Art dares at Suf- Emma. Since then, she has to start from scratch, from folk University last year, in events and personal touches “Howard had a connec- played the role multiple times the core of human need, from association with the Boston- that Howard was conveying,” tion between the political and and to perform the familiar feelings that are not repre- wide festival, Zinnfest, mak- said Began. “Emma Gold- the personal, and he wanted role during his tribute felt more sented in what we call reality.” PAGE 3 April 1, 2010 Journalism conference preps students for the future Cahill focuses on how from CONFERNCE page 1 NOW.com, feels that journal- ists who want to work online modity that is central to should follow suit. “Bloggers to fix the economy the ability to filter and gather are good niche workers, find He went on to say that the more competition by allow- from CAHILL page 1 the important information. something you are good at federal government would not ing people to purchase insur- After the introductory look and are passionate about and blasted both in the Journal be able to sustain health care ance across state lines and has to the future the discussion become an expert.” Entrepre- interview and the Suffolk Law subsidies for all fifty states. malpractice insurance reform. moved to those actually look- neurial opportunities can range event for exercising excessive “Free health care is not free. “It’s so easy to sue doctors. ing for careers in the modern from being paid to embed your spending, which he believes This national health care plan They have to practice defensive market place. The Internet has blog on someone’s site or being contributed to fiscal crisis. is not going to cut the deficit. medicine, which is driving a many opportunities for en- offered a job. Publications find Cahill claims that his at- We have facts here in Mass. that lot of doctors out of business.” trepreneurial enterprises in blogs they’d like to use by “dig- tempts to warn the Gover- can show that it won’t become In the past week, the Cahill journalism that didn’t exist be- ging and screening, looking for nor and other lawmakers cheaper, that prices are not go- campaign has come under fire fore, said Beard. Thanks to the compelling stories, precise and about the fiscal crisis before ing to magically come down. for accepting campaign contri- dynamic of the Internet, said consistent writing and cover- it happened were ignored. They haven’t here in Mass. I butions from contributors con- Beard, “you will find an oppor- age, and the use of credible sto- He noted that as treasurer don’t know how people think tracted with the state pension tunity.” Benton weighed in say- ries,” said Wilpers, who went he has no control over state it’s going to happen nationally.” fund. “Some of [the contro- ing, “You don’t need anyone’s on to say that there are down- spending that the Treasury’s op- The bill was not a victory for versy] has been generated by permission to do work any- sides to working in the digital erating budget has gone down the American people, according the media,” he said, noting that more. Don’t wait to work; the age. “You have to learn things 20 percent since he took office. to Cahill, but a victory for Pres- there is a higher percentage model of doing 40 years at a pa- at such a fast pace, getting a job Cahill came out against ident Obama. “That’s what’s from business involved with per and then retiring is nearly is difficult, and you must have the National Health Care Bill being written in the newspa- the pension fund that did not obsolete.” The Internet allows a command over blogging, that was recently signed into per today. That’s how the spin contribute to his campaign, and journalists to do the work that Twitter, RSS feeds, and services law. He argued that the health is coming out, and at the end many of those who did were they find interesting, to “be- like Digg.” Adam Gaffin, Se- care reform in Mass. passed in of the day, if it works to bring involved with the pension fund come your own journalist” as nior Editor of UniversalHub. 2006 “would have bankrupted insurance premiums down, if it prior to his tenure as treasurer. Heslam said. Charlie Sennott com, highlighted other down- the state if the federal govern- works to bring the cost of hos- Cahill said he was pleased spoke after the first panel had sides to working online. “You ment hadn’t been extraordi- pitalization down, I’ll be very, to convey his message to col- finished and was the keynote are working alone; there is no narily generous in subsidizing very happy to eat my words.” lege students who are getting speaker of the afternoon. He news room so it can be lonely. the cost of providing access to Instead, Cahill would like their “first exposure to politics.” told his story from the begin- You can’t get sick and you’ll be an additional 400,000 people.” to see a plan that both fosters ning of his career to where he bringing your laptop on vaca- was in the present. He said he tion. I also have a problem be- started off as a “cop reporter” ing a business man, and having in New York, covering the first to do things like selling ads.” attempt at a terrorist attack on David Warsh, of Economic the World Trade Center towers Principles, highlighted another in 1993. In 1996, Sennott began issue saying, that while there work as the Middle East Bureau are many little niches covering Chief for the Boston Globe and slices of industry, anyone can lived in Israel where he began join and there is a danger to the to raise his family. Eventually, ease of entry to this business.” the area got too dangerous and While there are draw- Sennott and his family were backs, there are also strategies forced to relocate. After the for coping with them. “Take September 11 attacks, Sennott everything you read online had a new job covering world with a grain of salt, objectiv- news as a correspondent in ity is not the be all and end all numerous different countries. of journalism anymore,” said By 2008, the world of journal- Worsh. Warsh suggests cross ism was still fast changing and linking and checking most- the Globe was forced to phase read lists to determine if the out its foreign bureaus. Sen- service or blog you are using Learn. Explore. Discover. nott thought he had found his is valuable. Wilpers said that dream job until it was cancelled, the core principles of report- causing him to resign from the This summer, experience Boston University Summer Term. Fulﬁll a degree ing 101 and journalism 101 are Globe on St. Patrick’s day of still central to developing the requirement, complete an internship, or take advantage of unique academic 2008. He came up with Global validity and worth of a source. programs offered only in the summer. With a choice of nearly 700 courses Post, an international news ser- Sennott said that one of the taught by BU’s award-winning faculty, you’ll be you stayed in town. vice with 70 correspondents main bets that he and his part- in 50 countries. Since the sites ners have hedged for Global inception, they have published Post is that people will support Learn more at bu.edu/summer. “nearly 3,000 stories, videos good journalism. The Journal and photo galleries, includ- and Voice sponsored discus- Summer 1: May 18-June 25 ing numerous in-depth series sion educated students on Summer 2: June 28-August 6 on a very broad array of major what it looks like in the mod- international issues.” Global ern age. It may be a bit faster Post is the model for the face and not smudge your fingers, of journalism in the digital age. but it’s still about the same In the same way that the thing, said Sennott, “being An equal opportunity, afﬁrmative action institution. reader has refined his taste for there and telling a great story.” news, John Wilpers of Boston- PAGE 2 April 1, 2010 news Suffolk participates in virtual college fair Angela Bray a virtual lobby with clickable resentatives and students. Journal Staff booths and banners. User pref- Chats are a straightforward erences include the option to way for those seeking applica- Showcasing hundreds of listen to the sound of crowd tion tips and advice, according BRIEFS Suffolk pulls out colleges and universities around the world, CollegeWeekLive is voices in the background. The toolbar recommends col- to Collins. “I have heard kids are more comfortable asking the world’s largest college fair. lege halls, presentations, stu- questions online instead of “We’re expecting 40,000 dent chats, college chats, and asking in front of everyone [at of the Hyatt Hotel students to log in,” said Mar- scholarships for students. a real fair],” said Collins. She tha Collins, Vice President “Everyone is already online, also mentioned that it is a ca- Suffolk has announced that they are pulling out of the Bos- of Marketing, last week. The so this makes college research sual way to speak with current ton Hyatt Hotel where they have housed students for the past Spring 2010 fair began last easy,” said Collins. “It is a great college and university students two years. The Hyatt Hotels Corp. has sold the Hyatt Regency Wednesday morning and way for [prospective] students about finding the perfect fit. Boston building to The Chesapeake Lodging Trust, a lodging ended the following evening. to show interest, and participat- Another benefit is the lim- real estate investment trust. This particular Hyatt hotel in Bos- CollegeWeekLive, in part- ing schools take it seriously.” itless amount of schools to be ton has lost $1 million due to a boycott started by the Unite Here nership with the U.S. Depart- Collings argued that online presented. According to Col- Local 26, a workers union that supported the 98 housekeepers ment of Education, connects college fairs may have certain lins, 100-plus countries are that were fired earlier this year. The boycott not only has pulled colleges and universities with advantages of traditional ones. represented. “This is a lot revenue from this specific Hyatt hotel but also another $1 mil- students, parents, and coun- “At a [physical] college fair, bigger than the typical col- lion from the surrounding Hyatt hotels in Cambridge and selors live and free online. Ac- there are usually not presenta- lege fair,” she said. “Schools Logan Airport. “Suffolk University has been approached by cording to Collins, the three tions on admissions topics. A lot like Suffolk University and former Hyatt workers as well as by students who are sympa- most useful tools are “browse, of admissions leaders are pre- those in that area can be seen thetic to their plight,’’ John Nucci, Suffolk’s vice president for chat, and great presentations.” senting online,” said Collins. in places such as California as external affairs. The new residence building, which has been CollegeWeekLive has garnered Those using CollegeWeek- well as all around the world.” said to house 200 new residents, as well as the boycott of the media attention, having been Live may watch admissions CollegeWeekLive began in hotels has led Suffolk to no longer use the Hyatt as a dormitory. featured on ABC World News. experts and representatives the Fall of 2007, and is therefore Students may register speak on topics such as how heading toward its third year. POLICE BLOTTER and log in to chat with col- to prepare for standardized There is an annual spring and lege representatives and cur- testing, writing the applica- fall fair, with smaller events in rent students, research aca- tion essay, how to pay for col- between. “There is such a wide demics and campuses, and lege, and scholarship informa- variety of [schools], and I think Wednesday, March 24 watch virtual presentations. tion. With the virtual college more and more are participat- Upon logging into the site, booths, users may IM and/ ing,” said Collins. “Suffolk has 7:23 a.m. collegeweeklive.com, there is or video chat with school rep- been a long-time participant.” 10 West Alarm sounded at 10 West Street (water flow problem). BFD responded. Report filed. 8:48 a.m. Law School Received a report of a syringe found out- side of 120 Tremont St. Report filed. Friday, May 26 8:51 p.m. Ridgeway Bookstore Burglary alarm at 148 Cambridge Street. Re- port filed. Saturday, May 27 1:14 a.m. 10 Somerset Drug offense at 10 Somerset Street. Report filed. Sunday, May 28 9:02 a.m. Public Informed of a possible hazardous condition off campus. Report filed. SUFFOLK UNIVERSITY • BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS VOLUME 70, NUMBER 20 WWW.SUFFOLKJOURNAL.NET April 1, 2010 Journal and Voice join forces Veteran journalists talk about the future of the field Pearlman, Editor in Chief of the panelists felt journalism the Suffolk Journal. “I think was going technologically. this discussion really showed Personalization is key now- The Suffolk Journal and Suffolk students that if you’re adays, “we want to be where Suffolk Voice, in coordination journalism major you should, you are most,” said Beard. with the Communications and at the very least, be writing for Look for personalized news Journalism Department, host- a publication at our school.” updates on your Facebook ed a panel of experts at the C. Despite years of compe- news feed or on your Twitter. Walsh Theater last Thursday to tition between the Suffolk “People are very personal- discuss the future of journalism Journal and Voice, the two ized online,” said Pearlman. in the digital age. Eight guests groups came together for the “They want to pick what news comprised two panels that first time to put on this event. they see and where they see it.” bookended the keynote speaker “Putting it all together was a This of course, challenges of the event, Charlie Sennott, lot of work but it came together the typical print form and even co-founder of Global Post. The nicely,” said Manny Veiga, Edi- makes one re-think communi- panel was asked a variety of tor in Chief of the Suffolk Voice, cation vocabulary. In the past, questions concerning the fu- “Alex and I worked well togeth- media agencies were gatekeep- ture of journalism while Sen- er and with the help of Bruce ers of information, using the nott spoke about his career in Butterfield and Nina Hunt- limited print space for what the traditional journalism and how emann, we made it happen.” editors deemed most impor- it led him to start Global Post. The first panel consisted tant. Now, we have a wealth The discussion highlight- of Jessica Heslam, a reporter of information and unlimited ed the changing nature of the for the Boston Herald, Joshua space, thanks to the Internet. journalistic profession and Benton, director of the Nieman Still, one thing that will how to succeed in such a cli- Journalism Lab at Harvard, never change is the value of Photo by Ethan Long mate. “People came up after Alex Pearlman, and David solid editors and solid re- Keynote speaker, Charlie Sennott talks about his experiences as the discussion and asked about Beard, the editor of Boston.com. porters, says Heslam, a com writing for the Suffolk Journal The opening question for a foreign correspondent and how he founded GlobalPost. see CONFERNCE page 3 and Suffolk Voice,” said Alex the panel dealt with where nside the ournal Cahill talks to the Journal, News touts independent street "Suffolk participates in virtual Jeff Fish ology. You both seem to be fair- sees 70 percent of spending.” no longer the party of the middle college fair" pg. 3 ly moderate socially. You both Baker took the Big Dig class. He also accused the party Journal Staff seem to be fiscally conserva- money from the taxpayers to of practicing class warfare and State Treasurer and Inde- tive, interested in efficiency in the Mass. Turnpike Authority, trying to use the private sector Opinion pendent candidate for gover- government,” said Kevin Mar- which worked in the 1990’s, but as a scapegoat, when there was "The day I become your "fan" nor, Tim Cahill, sat down with shall, a Suffolk Law student. “became broke because of what plenty of blame to go around. is the day pigs fly" pg. 6 the Journal for an interview, dis- Cahill responded by saying Charlie Baker and Gov. Weld did “We were the part of the lit- cussing issues in his campaign that he preferred to separate and the way that they did it.” tle guy, but of the little guy that and issues that he highlighted ideology from action. “Charlie Cahill left the Democratic wants to work and is not look- Arts & in a recent event hosted by the Baker was the state financial Party and chose not to enter ing for a handout and I feel that Suffolk Law Rappaport Center. officer for the state back in the the Republican Party because that’s been missing,” said Cahill. Entertainment Cahill, a lifelong Democrat 90s. He oversaw the Big Dig, “both parties seem to be fo- He voted for John Mc- "Howard Zinn tribute at Suf- until 2009, changed his politi- which we are paying for today. cused more on what’s good for Cain in 2008 because he “was folk" pg. 4 cal affiliation to Independent As the A&F (administration and their party and what’s good better suited and had a bet- before he began running for finance) secretary, you are the for their base and not what’s ter philosophy,” and that governor with what many per- governor’s chief budget writer. good for the American peo- Obama had many of the same Sports ceive as a Republican platform. You are the governor’s CFO, ple and the people of Mass.” people in his campaign as "Men's Tennis aiming for “I’ve been trying to contrast in which makes you practically He said that he has always Governor Patrick, whom he NCAA berth" pg. 8 my head your difference from the CFO of the entire state, be- been a fiscal conservative and Charlie Baker’s in terms of ide- cause the governor’s office over- that the Democratic Party was see CAHILL page 3
"Sargent gambles Suffolk away"