Dear Sires and Madams,
Once upon a proverbial time, years years ago, Charles D. Gorgofgos the fourth, a
renowned philosopher, scholar, and man of science, noted, “I reckon and I do so with the greatest
ability to reckon, that all men are created champion; champion in manner, champion in speech,
and champion in deed.”
We stand here today… caps on hair, gowns on body, and shoes on feet units… and we
acknowledge… that we have completed this sweet sweet journey of high school education. The
pigs have flown, the fat lady has sung, the space ship has left the launch pad, “Houston we have
lift off” the fish has been landed, the boat has docked, the bird has left the nest, we have “sent in
the marines,” and as Mike D from the Beastie Boys once said, “we have run the marathon to the
very last mile.” And this, this is what makes us champions.
We stand here today among our brothers and sisters, fellow champions in this fantastic
educational institution. For most of us, we shall depart, never to be as a family unit again. We
shall voyage to new places – work, college, the armed forces, or else where. Yet, even though we
leave, we shall always remember the champion place from which we can – Forestview High
School – the paradigm of secondary public education.
As we stand here today under clearing skies, we make one last stand together, similar to
Custer’s Last Stand; however, we aren’t fighting for our lives with guns and swords and daggers,
we are fighting to go somewhere by utilizing, and I quote T Mode, “faith, courage, and twisted
wit.” And as a wise man once stated, and as a fellow champion administrator AKA Sir
Ackerman once quoted, “always stand for something.” And as we have all heard this cliché
platitude, most of us many many times, we should all emulate “the most knowledgeable ones,”
taking wisdom to heart; and hark, for someday, if not now, it shall be imperative to make a stand
– not a stand such as a piece of furniture or a stand such as the standing position when the feet are
below the body – but a stand in the sense that you fight for what you believe and don’t back down
from adversity.
As we stand here today, we should all appreciate the fine work of our parents. Even
though we disagree at times over ludicrous issues, such as curfews, hair length, or other what-
have-yous, they provide us with so much and with out their support, we wouldn’t have made it
this far. The same goes for our teachers, administrators, cafeteria workers, janitors, bus drivers,
secretaries, and guidance counselors. Your champion efforts are greatly acknowledged and
appreciated.
As we stand here today, I quote, and I quote from the utmost quotable champion, Sire
Eric Thomas AKA “the Kirkinator.” High School is much like a sine graph one would enter into
a calc. You would see extrema representing good days and bad days, with points of inflection
representing changes for the better or the worse. But, perhaps the best part of high school is the
dynamic element that keeps you on your toes. One never knows what to expect walking the halls
of Forestview. I believe it is best summed up in the phrase, “Variety is the spice of life.”
As we stand here today, keep in mind, and I quote from the Two Skinny J’s, “You’re a
champion.” We’re all champions. Good luck in the future, stand for what you believe, and
continue in your super-de-duper championistic ways.
And with a final farewell, I depart with a quote from Robert Van Winkle AKA Vanilla
Ice, “Yo man, lets get out of here, Word To Your Mother.”