'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL
CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....::
===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE
#300 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!
!!
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...::::
===========================================
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Meet The Writers"
!!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> The HOE Staff
!!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/3/98
!!
!!=======================================================================
=!!
As a special "get to know us" treatment for HOE #300, there were
5 pre-determined questions sent to all 27 official HOE writers, hoping
to yeild interesting answers. The following are the results.
In case you're wondering, the current 27 official writers are,
in no particular order:
Ziego Vuantar, Mogel, Art, Quarex, Mutter, Styx, Teerts,
Altrocks, Swiss Pope, Trilobyte, Ramsey String, Squinky,
Kreid, Cstone, Snaf00, Nybar, Jook, Tasha, Cyn, Soybean,
Metal Chick, Anjee, AnonGirl, Seaya, Neko, Aster, and
Phairgirl.
Incidentally... Metal Chick and Ramsey String never filled out
their interviews, so they're not included here.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Jook
====
Name: Owen
1st t-file: LEMON #3, "Art History"
1st HOE issue: #165, "Can I be a Barber, Mom?"
Quote: "I don't want my pea soup cold while I'm preparing to visit the
almighty sun."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
Oh, I was a young lad, maybe around 14 or 15. I was a in 9th
grade, I had a modem, I set up a MACINTOSH BBS. How many of you can say
THAT? You think you're LEET? Well, YOU'RE NOT. My handle, JOOK, comes
from the KMFDM song JUKE JOINT JEZEBEL. Basically, I had no life after
Karmy Kays decided his football friends were better than me in ninth
grade, so I had to find SOMETHING to do, and computers were that thing.
The first "scene" I "tried" to be in was the ansi scene, but I really
sucked. Anyone remember Bedlam? I didn't think so. Then Murmur moved
to Bloomington-Normal, started calling my bbs (The Repented Gimcrackery)
and got me into zines like Pez, Hoe, Gasp, etc.
(2) What do you like?
I like making my neighbors mad at me. They don't like Sepultura
very much. I'm into Amber McCullough. She's my girlfriend, has been
for the last 3 1/2 years. I'm also into the musical talents of Blues
Traveler. I trade shows, stuff like that. Oh, I'm a professional
wrestler, too. Check out FUW -- coming to an arena near you!
(3) Do you have any goals?
I wish to get out of Bloomington-Normal again and move to the
northwest (Oregon, Washington) and smoke pot constantly.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
HOE is a bunch of worthless morons doing what they do best --
being dumb. I guess I'm not actually talking about just HOE, but the
entire #zines community. Sometimes I think about how much talent there
is in this damn group of people and how much of it is going to waste,
myself included.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
I've always wanted to make out with Quarex. I just want to see
how far I can get my toungue down his throat. Soybean would be kind of
nice, but I think she would laugh too much. Styx seems to know a lot
about sex, so he might be fun. Art would complain too much during the
actually act, and I wouldn't like that very much.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Anjee
=====
Name: Angela
1st t-file: HOE #280, "Should You Date The Devil?"
Quote: "I am basically rude to many people, not because I don't love
them; I call it 'tough love'."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I first got started when I was introduced to the wonderful world
of AOL. This would be referred to the first time I experienced internet
chat. At that time, I found myself with a net boyfriend who quickly
dumped me when I thought GreenDay was a holiday. Then I had a real
internet connection where I started abusing the use of WS_IRC where
shortly after I switched to mIRC. Within time, I switched ISPs 3 times,
to better suit my IRC'ing habits. My 1st handle was Minny -- which
quickly changed to several variations of the nick Angela. All this
would be the cause why I'm almost 17 and have no life.
PezMonkey indirectly introduced me to DTO, which soon led me to
h0e, where I discovered #zines. I thought it'd be fun to check it
out. :)
(2) What do you like?
I have a slight interest in computers, I know a few things about
them, and unlike many others -- can fix a computer without booting the
shit out of it. I can often be caught wasting time doing HTML and
graphic
design. I'm not a pro, I do it for my own enjoyment. However, music is
my passion.. my life. I play 4 instruments and try to sing (it doesnt
always work though). I find oodles of pleasure in chatting with people
who aren't exactly what is referred to as 'normal' (then again, neither
am I.) The french expression for this would be "Se qui se ressemble,
s'assemble".
(3) Do you have any goals?
My goals are basically furthering my education (college &
university), studying in music and/or computers -- which will hopefully
lead to a career that I will _enjoy_. Hopefully.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
I have a secret obsession for HOE (no, not really). The cynical
and sarcastic views of several aspects of everyday life just makes me
feel a tad better, knowing that not only I think the world is full of
idiots. I love writing for it because it lets me explore the lengths of
my own creativity (or something). In other words; HOE is k-rad.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
CERTAINLY MOGEL! mogel is God.. I never scored with a God before
(neither have I ever had sex). His obvious sexyness and neato wit is a
major turn-on. :P~~
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Cyn
===
Name: Cynthia
1st t-file: HOE #260, "Why I Won't Be At Graduation"
Quote: "If you can't laugh at other people's pain, what can you laugh
at?"
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I'm involved in the computer underground? When did this happen?
Um, someone said, "Cyn, write something!" so I wrote something. And
then
I wrote something that I certainly wasn't going to put on my website,
since I already get enough sick twisted email from people who want to do
weird things to me (my exgirlfriend, for one), so I was like, "Here! I
wrote you something."
(2) What do you like?
"Stuff". I like writing, I like reading, I like computers. I
like Oberlin College. I like my classes sometimes when I bother to go
to
them, which hasn't happened much this week. I like all my friends. I
like making birthday cakes. I like sunshine and smog and I miss LA. I
think Al Gore is dreamy. I like Kools way more than I should. And of
course, I like all of you.
(3) Do you have any goals?
To be worshipped as a Goddess. I rilly want to get to somewhere
where I could make a living writing, but I'd be happy computer
programming for a living, too. (And probably richer.) I want a very
big
ramshackle house with a lot of odd rooms somewhere in a city with public
transit. I'd also like to pull straight As this semester, but I doubt
that's going to happen.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
It is the diving board into the swimming pool of international
fame and fortune.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Mogel. He's neato. And also, he's the only one I know besides
Soybean, and she doesn't like girlees.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Nybar
=====
Name: Steven
1st t-file: POUPEY #1
1st HOE issue: #111, "The Rise of The Mogels, Part 2"
Quote: "To tell of Nybar's brilliant exploits would make wusses like
Homer and Virgil shudder."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I was 12. Once at a day-camp I had overheard a discussion of
what to name our tribe, I proposed "nynthoid barbarians". The name has
stuck with nybar. I later found out that I was divinely inspired, as
you see, NYBARius is the god of eliteness, Nybar is my cat and I am a
lowly servant to both of them! Computers are nifty. The "computer
underground" is stupid, but people are stupid. Here I'm talking about
the people outside of the "underground".
(2) What do you like?
I think that the man that invented the asian school uniform is a
perverted genius. I'm not afraid that I'm wasting my life; it's
self-evident. Someday I hope to run for president, telling all the PC
lies they want me to, (They is the council of the Them, headed by
Col. Sanders, the god of lameness), and then expose my true rationality
to the world.. after I'm elected! HAhahaa.. can't impeach me for
speaking my mind, and I've got a 4 year fuckin' -- but I've said too
much.
I also like cats.
(3) Do you have any goals?
I hope I live forever in an opera of meaninglessness. I wish I
could read all the books I set out to. I listen to some music. I also
have a hidden vagina, it is where my naval is (this is a goal, but my
bubbling optimism is shining through).
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
Hoe is a pretty bad 'zine that's lasted too long. Also, in
space terms, the incomplete poupey 21 is larger. A hoe is a gardening
utensil. Um.. the other rooster said "doodle doodle cock". Er.. rakes,
um.. a rake is a guy.. with.. a big.. I like cabbage. This interview
is over.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Damn.. those asshole jerkoffs? Mogel, I know that all of those
people are actors and "dummercon" is a sham.. you have a 300k a year
job, all of the profits of which go to feeding everyone the "hoe" lie.
Anyway, I'm sure all of you sicko-rumour vulvas would like to see
me get with ass-terd but I must say... ANJEE IS THE
DUMBEST FUCKING ANTI INTELLECTUAL TWIT I'VE EVER-- er.. you see, I'm
just
bubbling over with resentment towards these contrived idiots.. only a
mastermind, a true jewish evil genius like you could so dutifully
replicate that fecid idiocy of life in your sham 'zine! Not writing of
course, er.. the question... I'd like to "get close to" myself, so I'm
going to go to my favorite Jennifer Lopez site.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Soybean
=======
Name: Katie
1st t-file: HOE #143, "Carmex Rocks My World"
Quote: "I like apple juice."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
about a year ago at the advising of a friend i (unfortunately)
repealed the anti-irc ammendment to my personal constitution and
joined #dto. and then everything got fucked up in assorted ways. its
all been peer pressure. even my actual handle, toasty, is the result of
a nickname bestowed on me by a friend. though i guess that's not really
pressure because it's based on a t-shirt i bought myself. actually my
mom bought it for me.
(2) What do you like?
i'm very fond of my boyfriend and of socks and apple juice and
pretty pretty songs and stories.
(3) Do you have any goals?
i'm going to college next year. not sure where yet though. and
i'm going to study lots of religious history as it is tasty. and then
i'll figure out what to do with that.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
cute pig jpgs. nothing more.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
ramsey string is a mad, mad hottie.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
AnonGirl
========
Name: Audrey
1st t-file: HOE #282, "Public Transportation"
Quote: "If I wasn't devoted to Jack Daniels I think I'd marry Earl
Grey."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I started using computers when I was 6, but didn't really know
what I was doing until I was around 11.. I would mostly write lame-ass
poems and paint lame-ass pictures in Paintbrush.. then I became majorly
into the Montreal BBS scene around 1992, with my 2400 modem and Telix.
Then, in 1994, I got a 486/33,(which was obsolete even THEN) with 0.6
megs of ram. I bought myself 8 megs for around $230 and connected to
the net, getting majorly addicted (you know, that new-found hobby shit
where you look up useless junk like TV shows and drugs on Yahoo! for
about three days straight). I could never really get into zines until
recently, when I heard about h0e.. so that's how it all started..
(2) What do you like?
I like Coca Cola, cigarettes, VODKA (Smirnoff), drugs (yes I'm
burnt, but I'm not into heroin), Nacho Cheese Doritos, the Simpsons,
girls, boys, Marilyn Manson and The Little Prince. I have a SICK
obsession with film, and everything about film. And I *love* animals.
Cats and dogs especially. I like all sorts of music, particularly rock
and techno. I'm not fond of rap, but I can put up with it, as long as
it's not WU-TANG fucking CLAN. And country makes me cringe.
(3) Do you have any goals?
I did, once. I wanted to become a college film teacher, but I
don't think that's going to happen since I involuntarily fucked myself
over by quitting school. I plan on getting some kind of job that has no
direction whatsoever to pay my way through the remainder of my teen
years
(only 1 1/2 years left dammit) and go to University when I'm 21 (hah, as
if). For the time being my goal is to enjoy myself and do what I want to
do, instead of being locked up in an institution until I'm 25.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
Even though I used to check out smaller zines a while back, I
didn't really find them worth reading until I stumbled upon HOE. The
articles are much more intriguing and full of character, unlike the past
e'zines I've checked out. The authors are awesome as well, each one
being
entirely unique in every aspect. So yeah... HOE rocks.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
It's a tie between seaya and squinky. Although squinky can by
rather... edgy at times.. However, he's still on my To Do list.
Sorry Mogel. :)
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Altrocks
========
Name: Jeff
1st t-file: HOE #213, "The Poem Of Orality"
Quote: "And then you realize that there is a god; He's just dumb."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
Well, to start from the beginning, my dad was an electronice
freak his whole life, and as such I had a commodore 64 when I was only
8. I learned line number BASIC on it, and that's where it started.
Until I was 13 I used school computers and learned DOS, Windows 3.11,
and how to hack around on a poorly secured LAN network... :) Then in
1993 we got a packard bell system from Cicuit City. I learned about
BBS's in under a month, and called about 5 or 6 close to 20 times a day.
I wrote volumes of material on those boards, and was involved in an
argument with TWiG, who is now one of my good friends, about drugs for
well over a year. He was anti-, I was pro-... :)
About late 1994 I got internet access and started surfing the
web. I was on IRC alot, almost all the time in fact, and spent alot of
my time idling in front of the computer screen till all hours. I would
chat alot, and wrote even more. Last year, about this time I started
writing rants (http://www.op.net/~altrocks/oldrants.htm), little poems
and ravings to release myself. A litte later I stumbled upon DTO and
HOE. I wrote a few things, and became and official HOE writer (I even
got a little bronze badge to prove it.. Mogel e-mailed it to me along
with an invitation to a hotel room in Philly... :), and well, here I am
now. NEXT!
(2) What do you like?
Ummm... I like girls, pizza, beer, parties, friends,_lots
stuff... I don't really like to DO anything except pope`in (POP - in),
which is just hanging out at this little pavilion in the park next to
school, after school, and doing shit on my computer (I program a bit, I
talk on IRC ALOT, and I try to always be connected thru AIM and ICQ).
Other than that, I'd LIKE to get the hell outta here, and get to
college... I was made for college. Trust me. :P
(3) Do you have any goals?
I wanna take over the world. I eman I know it's shooting a litle
high, but at least this way I'm constantly stiving to be better than I
am. :) I'd like to have total control over the minds of mortals, and
with but a single thought have an entire army of people ready to fight.
If that falls thru, I'd just like to do something with the
sciences, or maybe even be a teacher... I've always enjoyed physics,
particle physics especially, and Math...
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
Hoe (HO) n. -- A Bich, slut, whore, prostitute or angst-filled writer
under lock and key in venezula....
No, but seriously... I think HOE is a group of generally evil
people, with a few exceptions, I being the most evil of all of you. >:)
Just ask mogel ====> http://www.op.net/~altrocks/denise.html ... (inside
joke.)
It's a good chance for pople of higher intelligence to write
about things, and generally express their views of a fucked up world
that needs a good bitch slapping. I really think if the majority of
people on earth would read, listen to, and understand half of what we
write, the worlsd on a whole would be Utopian, or at least bareable.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Well, I don't really know any of you all that well, and seeing
that I have met none of you in person, I can't really say, but I think
a nice big orgy with all of us getting some serious bisexual hardcore
action would be ideal. :)
Or at least we should have somethin comparable to Dummercon. :)
For all you that remember that... :) I never got to go, but damnit, I
want to have a nice big get together... maybe near/in Philly?
But, I would like to meet the one that calls herself Toasty...
She looks quite agreeable, and sounds quite interesting... :)~~
Alright, that's the me I want to show people, so let's see those
other questionaires rollin' in!
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Kreid
=====
Name: Dave
1st t-file: Y0LK #1, "The Other White Meat"
1st HOE issue: #99, "A REAL Bush Fan"
Quote: "You're so fucking stupid!!!"
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
That's a long story! I started calling warez (that's SOFTWARE
PIRACY!) bbs's in my area when I was 12 years old, then that evolved
into ansi art-oriented bbs's in a few years, and then that turned into
irc when that became the popular place-to-be. For a long time in my
"computer underground" career I wrote poems and drew ascii art for
ansi/art groups, but then I decided that was stupid and I started
writing y0lk e-zine in 1995 after i read some h0e and gasp files &
liking them (almost). As you all know, y0lk grew to become the
greatest e-zine in the history of e-zines, but after 100 issues I got
kinda tired of that business and I started becoming a full-time writer
for dto, until dto quite pathetically fell to its death.
Nowadays, I write a lot of stuff that never gets published
(www.gti.net/goat/kreidkomp.html), and I write for h0e, even though the
rest of the h0e writers are complete idiots.
(2) What do you like?
I like being a lazy piece of shit, being with my girlfriend
(awwww), being completely entranced by large quantities of controlled
substances, and being chased by policemen. I also like reading books by
Irvine Welsh, Anthony Burgess, Hunter S. Thompson, and Charles Bukowski.
I like a lot of other things, too, but I hate writing long lists of
things nobody's interested in, so I'll stop. That was a stupid question
anyway.
(3) Do you have any goals?
I want to be a writer/painter, for real, serious-like. Money is
not an important thing for me, so success is not part of that goal. I
just want to make good art until my creativity runs dry. Then, my
second
goal: going out in a blaze of infamy in a giant explosion in the middle
of the Lincoln Tunnel.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
It's a really terrible 'zine and all the writers suck. But mogel
is a good guy, and there are no other real 'zines out there, so it's the
one I'm (sorta) writing for right now. It's quite pathetic, though,
that theonly active 'zine in our little computer underground "scene" is
so terribly unreadable.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Mogel, of course.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Cstone
======
Name: Brandon
1st t-file: BAH #4, "Public Access UNIX Hacking!"
1st HOE issue: #90, "The Disease"
Quote: "I don't have any quotes!"
Hi. You know, I originally intended to just pipe this through
Eliza or Dr. Sbaitso or something and send you the responses, but I
couldn't find something that I wanted to work on, so I filled it out.
Don't be disappointed though -- I didn't do much better than Dr. Sbaitso
would have.
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
This sounds like a question a FED would ask. Mogel is a FED.
KILL THE FEDS. DIE.
(2) What do you like?
Hmm. Reading for eleven or twelve hours undisturbed; going to
sleep soon after the sun rises; trying to understand the subliminal
catalysts that keep the most normal, insignificant nuances of modern
society in motion; sleeping (but not waking up; I hate waking up);
following the birth, embracement, application, and the slow (but
intentional) subversion of logic; eating plain Butter Croissants from
the Vie de France inside Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, IL; and listening
to any music with emotional, artistic expression or originality.
But not always in that order...
(3) Do you have any goals?
No. I avoid setting goals. I'm internally too volatile to set
goals that would reliably coincide with my future desires. I have about
twenty computer-related projects and a dozen or so non-computer-related
endeavors that I work on. And I'm starting/stopping them constantly.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
To me, "what does x mean to you"-type of questions are really
leery, so I'll just ignore the literal value of that question entirely.
HOE is one of the last remaining e-zines claiming (and deserving)
relation to the mythical institution that is (was) the computer
underground. What that means is totally up for debate, and I don't feel
like ranting about what I feel that the "computer underground" really
is.
So now I've totally evaded the question and pushed a meaningless answer
in front of you.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Do I lose points if I leave this blank? I have no answer, silly
or serious.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Mutter
======
Name: Chris
1st t-file: Y0LK #62, "y0lk Test Pattern"
1st HOE issue: #276, "Librarian Phone Sex"
Quote: "Life's like that."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
How? WaR3z wArEzz W4r3Z!@$&&#*!@$@ How else?!
No. Seriously. I found a modem and a list of numbers and found
some really cool BBS's (remember BBS's -- they were like the internet
but with less emphasis on point-and-click multimedia and porn. Okay,
well, less emphasis on multimedia at least.) I fell into some scenes as
a result. Eventually, I also started reading ezines regularly (as well
as print zines). My love of writing that's so bad (or different) that
it's good (kinda like mentos commercials, although not really) led me
to submit to that chaotic ezine project, y0lk. I wrote for some other,
less mentionable zines and eventually started my own print project (root
zine) which is still continuing today.
(2) What do you like?
I LIKE BUTTS!! HAHAAH!#@!!
Okay... non-computer related hobbies... ummm.. uhh. hmmm, I
know I have some. Oh yeah, playing the electric guitar. and...uhhm.
long walks on the beach... and...
Next Question!
No, I tend to like my music (since I have no tv or radio
reception) -- my current musical interests include: Led Zeppelin,
2 Skinnee J's, Company Flow, RaTM, Less than Jake...
Oh, yeah. I met Spike Lee the other day. I liked that. (damnit,
I'm too tired to pretend to be interesting.)
(3) Do you have any goals?
Goals? Goals are for those who always look to the future and in
the process consistantly miss the value of the present. I like to live
in -- and enjoy -- the present. (translation: No.)
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
ummm... one who performs sexual favors for money.
(was that dumb enough?)
I write for HOE for one reason and one reason only... It looks
good on a college application.
(how about that?)
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Umm... well. I'm not _that_ into the scene that I actually know
anything about the chicks de la h0e. Ummm. I guess I should pick
someone... how about... Phairgirl!#
How about it, Phairgirl?
uh huh. yeah. I hear dat.
Why don't you ever call me anymore?
biotch! say what? I here dat, nigga. I know what you mean.
no diggity? no it ain't like dat, me and her were only huging . . .
I swear to god I didn't know she was your mom . . .
I'm sorry. what?
well fuck you! I never want to see you again!
baby, I'm sorry, you know how I get when I'm hungry.
let's never fight again.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Art
===
Name: Art
1st t-file: HOE #153, "Missing The Boat"
Quote: "IT'S NOTHING WE ALL HAVEN'T HEARD BEFORE."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I got involved with crap like dto and hoe about 4 years ago. My
interest was piqued after reading a couple issues of dto I discovered on
a local bbs in 815, put there by murmur and various others including
trilobyte and neko.
(2) What do you like?
I read a lot. It's not good stuff, either, I read crap. I've been
reading fantasy/sci-fi books (Dragonlance, Forgotten Realms) since I was
ten. I can juggle 3 balls, and 2 synchronously in each hand. Yeah.
(3) Do you have any goals?
My main goal is to get a job, and it doesn't really matter all
that much where I work.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
what other zine is there to read?
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Heh. Seaya.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Aster
=====
Name: Becky
1st t-file: SOE #29, "Hay is for Hroses"
1st HOE issue: #168, "Bots Are Evil"
Quote: "Too many big, scary words."
Aster was previously interviewed in HOE #206. Please refer to that
issue,
if you feel like torturing yourself.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Neko
====
Name: John
1st t-file: Shadow Lurking #1, "The K-Mart That Didn't Fit In"
1st HOE issue: #83, "Children of The Tube"
Quote: "Pass the vodka.... BLEEECHH!!@#"
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
Back in 1993 when I was 13 I started calling BBS'. I was a 2400
Baud modem warrior and I think this contributed heavily to my interest
in textfiles. I didn't feel like spending an hour downloading some game
that would run slow as shit on my 386/16, so I didn't. Then I saw these
files called "Cult of the Dead Cow" and shit like that. And I just
started downloading them all.
(2) What do you like?
I like music. I'm into lots of music, and as my hoe bio says, I
guess I'm the HoE expert on puncrock. Whatever that means. I like my
girlfriend lots too, but she probably won't read this so oh well.
(3) Do you have any goals?
I want to open a bowling alley in Moscow.
No, I'm not joking.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
I WRITE FOR HOE BECAUSE ZIEGO HAS A BIG GUN AGHSAFJJHFS
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Well, I don't believe that Aster exists, so she's a no from the
get-go. Everyone will say Metal Chick, so I won't. Trilobyte sent me a
jpeg of some chick who hung out on #zines named L0rig or something. She
was attractive. But she's not on the list. SO. I will say Anongirl.
Even if she has a Marilyn Manson quote on her web page.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Phairgirl
=========
Name: Summer
1st t-file: SPS #1, "My ANGST Post"
1st HOE issue: #277, "Drunk at 3AM"
Quote: "If my life is this pointless, I'm glad I've been able to
subject someone else to the carnage."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I got involved in the computer underground by force. I didn't
want to. I am deathly afraid of 'leet people, because they are a lot
cooler than me and I just end up looking stupid no matter what. I was
better off sitting in my under-20 webchats or on AOL, safe as can be.
I first got online in '92, AOL on my best friend's brand new
Macintosh. Yummy. And it was SOOOO COOOL.
I became phairgirl not long afterwards. It took me a long, long
time to think of something that would suit me well. I thought, well, I
love Liz Phair, and I'm a girl. Bang, it's a girl!
Now that I have been sucked into the remanants of the computer
underground, I have realized a number of things. I am not a bitch
compared to these people. I am a nice flowerly lovely violet person. I
have never "haxored" anything. And I'll be damned if I even know what
that means. I realized that I can write really stupid t-files and
people will think I'm cool... although Nybar and Eerie will never, ever
think I am cool.
It is cool that people do not like me. I feel accepted.
Oh yeah, and this computer underground thing is MUCH better than
driving 1300 miles to get laid by some 16 year old that I met in a seedy
chat room. Everyone on the scene is so much closer to me! I'll only
have
to drive 84 miles, minimum.
(2) What do you like?
I like everything. EVERYTHING.
I love music... Liz Phair, Dream Theater, Bjork, Garbage, Led
Zeppelin, Shudder To Think, Beck, Pink Floyd, Depeche Mode, Korn, Poe,
that dog, all kinds of stuff.
I like a few movies... Natural Born Killers, Fargo, Clerks,
The Big Hit, Niagara Niagara, Clockwork Orange, One Flew Over the
Cuckoo's Nest, ummm, a bunch more but I'm really tired and can't think.
I also like... ummm... faeries, anime, sweet potatoes, lily of
the valleys, red teletubbies that say "faggot", people on ICQ telling me
they want to tease my nipples, sandals, my 4 cats, purple things, kevin
nash (ooooh baby), power puff girls, cracking shareware, spending money
on stupid things, screaming REALLY LOUD, making fudge, singing, writing
to old has-been hair bands, kicking ass, ummm, I don't know, lots of
stuff. Refried beans, surround sound, subwoofers, sailor moon, space
ghost, oh man I can't think of anything else. UGH. Why won't my brain
work? I hate it when this happens. Goddamn it.
Since I can think of nothing else, I will fill this space with
senseless nothingness.
apoweijfaopwjcmaowpdjfcapowefajewordfhaeworjfapeworfjaweojrfa
wefolawjfedoajewcponawp;erohfapwoeryfhaworehfaworehfa
awfoejawporeifajworheafvodncvlskdvncoisdchlva;sldknf;oaiwejfao;wleijf
awdlfjawpodihfapwofhawpordhfapowrhdfapowhidfawohifawpodfjoapweiv
wdljfpahoewidhvpowerujhfaiwannaluvyababyopewrhfapoewrhgaewruh
voawerjfnopaeruhfapoirhgvejrkngerjghesproiuhgeoriuhgapoeiugteaong
(3) Do you have any goals?
My first and foremost goal is to finish this fucking interview.
Cuz I have a really hard time finishing things once I start them.
However, I'm not sure I will, because I don't normally set goals for
myself, since it is pointless because I never bother with them anyway.
Goals suck.
Metaphysically, my goal would be to be really FUCKING FAMOUS so
that I could be the leet one and everyone else would SUCK and be BELOW
ME
and I would KICK ASS and I would win the lottery and get a T3 and give
all the COOL people access to it but not the people who MAKE FUN OF ME
because I suck. SO THERE. Stop being mean to me, or when I win the
lottery, you won't get a cut of the pickins. That's something to think
about.
Anyway, back to being famous. I want to follow the Jewel Method
To Fame. See, I already come from a backwoods hicklike place like she
did. I have a really unique voice like hers. All I need is for someone
to discover me and to cut an album. Then I'll make a video in a
bathroom, and later one with me slinking out of a tight dress. Then I'll
write a book, but it won't be poetry, oh no. I'LL PUBLISH HOE!!! I'll
steal it away from Mogel and/or Ziego and make it MINE. Ha.
Of course though, I'd screw up somewhere and end up somewhere in
the Madonna Method To Fame, where my book ends up being like her Sex
book, and people start to think I'm nothing but a dirty little girl and
I'll be banished to hell by every religious figure in the world. Then
I'd find myself in the Selena Method To Fame, as by then I'd have a
crazy fan (probably a couple of those Montreal girls) who would kill me.
Man, that's gonna suck.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
h0e means the world to me. I don't know why. I e-mail my
friends letting them know when the newest edition comes out. Everyone
where I work has at least read it once now. I check the site every day,
waiting for it to enrich my life. My h0e shrine sits to the right of my
monitor, where I pray to the h0e god Mogel every day, hoping he will
somehow hear my pleas and release the next issue. I go through h0e
withdrawls when I work for long periods of time, nearly crashing my car
every night until I can browse those glorious pink piggy pages and gaze
longingly at the tintillating t-files.
Without h0e, I will die. We will all die. Existence will be
pointless without it.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
DAMN there aren't many girls, are there. We're slim pickins.
I've previously said that I will have sex with everyone. This
offer still stands, as I have nothing better to do. Quarex has managed
to see me half-naked, however, so he'll probably get a piece first.
Lucky him.
Mogel, did you include this question just so you can watch
endless women drool all over you? HA. You're the only one I WON'T
sleep with, then. You have to sit outside and read Better Homes and
Gardens. Brush and floss.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Snaf00
======
Name: Michael
1st t-file: HOE #285, "Sellin' Smack On Da Street Ain't No Treat, Unless
Yo' Leet Like Mah Parakeet!"
Quote: "On days like today, you'll find me wishing I had more things to
beat up."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
it was a cold november day back in 19-awt-9 my pappy was in his
gold mine when aliens came and transported him up on to der flying pie
plate and when he came back down he warz holdin' one o dem com-pute-rs
so the first thing I did was type "edit schlsuck.txt" and that was my
very first t-file.
(2) What do you like?
I like long walks on the beach, interesting people. money, drugs
and sex.
(3) Do you have any goals?
I only have one. I wish to one day harness the power of office
furniture. Really, it is time that the oppressed office furniture of
the world pulled itself from underneath the smelly fat behind of
overweight execs and proclaimed its freedom!!! Besides with no chairs
or desks I would probably be able to get a nice vacation until
corporate America brings order back to the office-place by once again
enslaving the furniture within cubicle walls.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
HOE means nothing to me. Really. I could say:
"HOE is the best experiment in eclectic writing ever attempted"
Or:
"Mogel is a genius, and he is so darn sexy."
But you know what? I can't say any of that and still be able
to survive the rest of the day without slitting my wrists. I hope you
understand.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Quarex: because REALLY HUGE HAIR turns me on.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Tasha
=====
Name: Natasha
1st t-file: HOE #281, "Suicidal Tendencies"
Quote: "I NEED MORPHINE."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
First of all, I am not completely sure what the "computer
underground" is, and as far as e'zines go, I pretty much only write for
h0e, and every e'zine Angie starts, which has been like 50. It got
started when Angie became obsessed with my writing and then began
converting it to html and putting it on every available webspace...
then she sent it to mogel. Boom. The End.
(2) What do you like?
I like music...listening to music, that is. I don't have much
musical talent, I've been playing piano since I was 7, though, but I'm
not very good. I like reading poetry by all the greats. No, not like
Poe. I mean, Ferlinghetti, and Kaufman. Well, those are my two
favourites. I also like writing. (go figure) :)
(3) Do you have any goals?
Well, when I was like 4 I wanted to be a cheerleader, but not
anymore. For awhile I wanted to be a neurologist, and study at the
University of Kentucky (Because my uncle said he'd pay for me). Now,
though, I want to be an english teacher, like my mentor, Mr. Rowland.
I also want to help someone, like maybe kids or teenagers, or even
adults, but that's because I promised my best friend's mom I would,
since
she helped me, but that's another story.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
Hoe means Angie saying "doodle-quack," and me complaining that I
can't write. Yep, that's about it. Oh, yeah, and something about a
revolution.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Uhm, probably like everyone, 'cause I'm one horny chick. I'm
thinking a big h0e orgy, hell yeah! Okay, seriously, *HM* Angie?
Mogel?
Maybe? Cstone? 'Cause I like that one thing he wrote? I dunno.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Teerts
======
Name: Carlos
1st t-file: HOE #239, "Translating for The Army in Deutschland"
Quote: "Ehh, fuck you."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
this is the underground?!?! shite...nobody had told me!
i started fooling around on bulletin boards at the age of 13
i think...using a 386sx 16 w/8megs ram. it was a good machine for its
time :-) bulletin boards led to the inevitable, sometimes they got me
thinking...i wrote silly anarchy-related texts and what not...and
eventually stopped calling boards because i had become too much of an
irc junkie...gods forbid i should step out of my house eh? as for
e'zines....uhm, i dunno i got turned onto dto because i was fooling
around on my old isp's shell and noticed an account named dto. i did a
finger and found the user was 'named' doomed to obscurity...that led me
to www.dto.net...blahblahblah...i had been reading it for a while...
eventually i sent something in for dto i think but it ended up in h0e...
i cant really remember :-)
(2) What do you like?
i like stuff. reading books, especially the gunslinger/dark
tower series by stephen king....uhm, post-apocalypse stories are always
good...sitting around doing nothing is what life is all about...well not
really...but yeah... as a general rule, i dont like people. individuals
are fine though :-)
(3) Do you have any goals?
yes, main goal is to work on nanotechnology's biomedical and
manufacturing applications...it will take too much schooling :-/
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
actually hoe comes from an old south american vigilante group
named harlots of ecuador. these fierce tarts helped the ecuadorian
people acheive justice and also made prostitution legal.
blah, i dunno.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
other!?!? does that mean i dont count? damn...to kinda quote
someone i know, 'i know the palm of my hand like...the back of my hand.'
(i would have said Mutter when he used to be a spray bottle, but now
that
he sold out and appeared in that silly hackers movie, i've lost
interest.)
"i sit here all alone with a martini built for two...i sit here
all alone cuz i got nothing better to do...i sit here all alone with a
martini built for two...i sit here all alone well i showed up but where
are you?"
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Trilobyte
=========
Name: Tim
1st t-file: DTO #13, "You Can't Be Too Careful These Days!"
1st HOE issue: #101, "Group Therapy"
Quote: "Poor people bring their their kids to Rock Cut State Park's
only lake, and they poop in it."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I got my first computer for Christmas in 1992. I was, at the
time, a confused youth in the 7th grade. I saw Neko's 386 and the neat
Prodigy software he had for it so I begged my parents to let me buy
Neko's spare 2400 baud modem so I could use Prodigy. Once I got it, I
would spend a bit of time on Prodigy every week. I joined message
groups relating to video games and became quite a citizen of the whole
scene. (Random elite reference: Hawkeye's Bar and Grill). A bit later
Neko gave me the numbers to some local BBSes and I was intrigued. They
seemed so mystical and fantastic.
I began to show my immaturity on the local Rockford Echo on
Fidonet, and subsequently became banned from a few BBSes. But I kept on
keeping on. I played TradeWars, uploaded and downloaded like a madman
(once I got my 14.4k) and eventually found myself on a few "elite"
boards in town. I also regained access on the boards I was banned from,
but they sucked anyway.
I helped setup a number of Renegade boards in town (previously
everything was RemoteAccess). I obsessed over BBS software. I had
source code and/or binaries for nearly every BBS software ever. I
became cosysop of the most elite of elite boards in town, Cell Block 4.
The sysop wanted to start a warez couriering group called DoPE, and I
made a little ansi logo for them. Then he decided there should be an
ANSI division of DoPE. So we released a few packs and then merged with
another little group to form iDENTiTY. People from all over were
applying to CB4 and trying to get into DoPE. Small shitty local ansi
groups popped up to try to mock us. Little lamers thought they could
match the superior quality of CB4 and tried to setup ELiTE MajorBBS
boards. A guy who went by "Superfly" logged on to the board and sent
the sysop some of his ansis. They were really original and showed a
knack. We let him into DoPE. Now he's incredibly famous, because
after iDENTiTY disbanded the better artists (...Superfly) left and
joined CiA.
Eventually CB4 went down or I stopped calling or something.
That had been a fun time of ansi, warez, and calling cards.
Meanwhile, Neko was into t-files. I didn't have the time to
read them very much because I was too busy calling boards, but I knew
the names of cDc and pEz and the such. I started hanging out in #zines
when I was on the internet because Neko might be there. And I knew
Murmur. I read dto after it started out, and then I think I wrote some
things for it, and some things got in and other things went into h0e.
All through that time I was trilobyte. I started out on Prodigy
as Kabakiet, then went to Mr.GreenJeans for TradeWars, then Trilobyte
for everything. I don't know if I got it from the company that made The
7th Guest, or if I just thought it up. It's not incredible by any means
and it has little personal significance for me except that for as long
as
I can remember I have liked the little fossilized creatures.
(2) What do you like?
I like all sorts of music. My favorite groups would be
Kraftwerk, Meat Beat Manifesto, Luke Vibert / Plug / Wagon Christ,
Capsize 7, Dead Kennedys, and various Matador bands like Spoon and JSBX.
I could probably also list Devo, Cabaret Voltaire, and Blancmange.
I like all sorts of computers. I have a representative of almost
all consumer oriented computers. Looking around now, since I'm at home
rather than in my dorm room at UIUC, I have TI99/4a with speech synth,
TRS-80 CoCo2, Atari 800xl, Atari 800XEgs, many Commodore 64s, Commodore
128, Commodore 128D, an Amiga 500, 2 Amiga 2000's, Atari ST (1040STe)
(which I'm using to type this now), 486DX2/66, IBM PS/2 Model 80 386/16,
Packard Bell "Legend" 386, Tandy Micro-Computer (like a Spectrum). And
a
Mattel Aquarius.
I've been into video games since 3rd grade when I got my
Nintendo.
Then I got a Lynx, then I got an Atari 2600. Since then I've also
acquired a Sega Genesis, 32X, Sega CD, Sega Master System, Sega Game
Gear, Nintendo Game Boy, Super Nintendo, TurboGrafx 16, ColecoVision,
Mattel Intellivision, Atari 7800, Atari Video Pinball, Magnavox Odyssey,
Odyssey^2, Odyssey 200, Atari Jaguar, and there's probably something I'm
missing. I've also got loads of cartridges for all those. Oh yeah,
Sega Saturn.
I like girls. I let matters of the heart sway me around too
much.
I like writing. Don't know why.
I like putting things off until the last minute, I like avoiding
all responsibility for my future, I like driving around with no
particular place to go, I like spending money until I wonder where it
all went.
(3) Do you have any goals?
One of my major goals is to find the perfect mate and settle down
with them. That takes precedence over all other goals. I would drop
everything for the ultimate girl if necessary. (One could argue, then,
of course, that she's not the ultimate girl. I could argue back, then,
of course, that if I'm willing to do it, it isn't a drawback).
Another major goal, and one that is related, is to have
substantial enough means to support a healthy family and my wife. A
well-established method of reaching such a position is to study well in
school and get a good job.
That brings me to a more current goal -- figure out why I'm
floundering and get the hell out from under the water.
I want to learn from life and be as good a person as possible
without crossing any stupid lines.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
h0e, literally, is an extension of my left testicle. In my quest
for a larger mass of density to fill my Jansport-sized scrotum, h0e
shone through the wilderness like a glowing can of red beans. I
followed the shine and met the fiasco with open pants, ready to accept
life's new challenges and ecaculate dumb t-files about them, knowing
that there was one fruit left on this bleak planet with open enough
standards to be accepting of such fiction.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Perhaps with quick movement and swift wit, I will be able to ram
my enormous cock up Ziego Vunatar's poop chute. He will be enamoured
with love and lust, and will greet the world around him with eyes and
arms full of laughter and licorice.
With the possibility of such an enlightened ruthless dictator,
we, the h0e community, may be encouraged to hold countless gala disco
orgies, whereby allowing us to become a massive necklace of true
unfettered emotion. Love, ya'll. Dat's da shit.
& I'd like to see Metalchic & Art get it on.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Seaya
=====
Name: Leah
1st t-file: HOE #278, "Smart Bomb"
Quote: "Matt says I'm crazy, but I wasn't until everyone kept saying
aardvark to me for no reason and wouldn't tell me why..."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I got involved on the internet at age 16. i was madly in love
with a net chickie that I still talk to (although we didn't for four
years). later I got into bbs's, then majornet bbs's. One of which was
the infamous Gamepower, where I met Mogel and saw the beginnings of
dummercon and dto unfold. I haven't written until recently though.
My first handle was Spirit after the woman on Wing Commander
who commits suicide at the same time as destroying the base where her
lover is held so as to save the information he holds from reaching the
enemy. An honourable death. She looks like an anime character. I feel
as if I am a spirit sometimes, drifting in and out but never taking
root. Later I was (shortly) Earth Spirit, seaya (on irc and now I guess
on zines), and parappa (kick punch!). I hang on irc on #zines,
#2515049, #fuck#sigh, #stereolab, and others depending on my mood or
ban kick status.
Yes, it is healthy. It didn't use to be, but computers are in
my life to stay and I've found a way to keep the angsty weirdness in
check and help to create a little microcosm of dto culture. Brilliant.
251!
(2) What do you like?
My favorite band is stereolab. I've seen them live more in
Britain than the states.
I like indie music, and some hip hop, some dance stuff, some
experimental, some jazz, some country even (old old stuff like patsy
cline), 80's chick rockers, friends' bands, anything that moves me and
is original and expressive.
I like anime and old anime-esque cartoons, such as Cities of
Gold and Spartakus.
I am into rpgs like ad&d and things of that nature, but not ones
that involve an apocalyptic earth. Yuck.
I was in Scotland for a year and met some friends there. I had
a friend pass away in August who I miss very much. I like people who
notice things, people who cannot be labelled, people who are loving and
community oriented.
I like watching TV with Amit and looking at chicks with him and
Jim.
eYe ph34r m0geL#!@@!#!#@@!#!!!
(3) Do you have any goals?
I want to be happy. I want a career that involves computers and
reflecting on popular culture and the world today. Online journalism
would fit this if I could get in there, or a City Paper. I would also
like to look how I want and be myself at the same time. I will not rest
until both are possible.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
h0e means home. h0e is my people my community of wacky e'zine
folk. h0e is real but not real. h0e is life. h0e is fUn.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Soybean! It'd be fUn.
I'd get kissy face with art though as well!
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Swiss Pope
==========
Name: Phil
1st t-file: GRILL #1, "Procrastination"
1st HOE issue: #122, "How to Get Chicks: The FAQ!"
Quote: "God gave us earlobes so they will be implemented in a future
version."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I come from the 309 area code, so I wasn't used to calling chat
boards or el33t CCinet art boardz or other such BBSs that propagated the
existence of the computer underground. I was used to calling BBSs run
by
farmers running Wildcat! or TBBS who had large archives of ham radio,
model rocketry, and astronomy-related files. Needless to say, this type
of an online environment breeds regimes of God-fearing, anti-piracy, and
anti-profanity SysOps. They formed an organization known as the BNASG
(The Bloomington Normal Area SysOps' Group) that dominated the 3o9 BBS
scene. If you were under age 18 and running a BBS, they would do their
best to deny your presence from their BBS lists. So, at age 13, I
registered the WWIV BBS software so I could do my own source code
modifications for my friends' BBSs (whose parents were wealthy enough to
buy them their own phone lines). A small number of BBSs run by
free thinking individuals cropped up and a local culture of
'underground' BBS geeks emerged. From them, and from doing my own
exploration by calling random Chicago 'underground' BBSs, such as RipCo,
I learned about popular zines. I would print out cDc issues and other
anarchy tfiles and bring them to school. Teachers would confiscated
them,
and one assistant principal told me that I should use my computer for
good, not evil. H/P/A/V/C t-files were rad, especially when I was able
to
build something that actually worked. But thought ELiTE du0ds were
pretty
stupid. To this day I still don't understand what's so elite about
lower
case i's.
So then when I was 14, I discovered the internet and used telnet
BBSs (Endless Forest, Quartz) and MUCKs extensively. When I started
using IRC, Quarex and I got involved with the trax scene. My obsession
with demos established my belief that demo coders and musicians are a
million times more talented than hax0rz could ever be. It's too bad
they
don't get nearly as much attention. Around my junior or senior year in
high school, I met Murmur and Shadow Tao who introduced the zines scene
to me. I thought everyone in #zines was an idiot because they took
their
precious e-zine dTo so seriously. I have lightened up since then
because
everyone has pipe dreams. It's ironic, though, because when Quarex and
I
started our first e-zine, Grill, it was originally a half assed jump on
the 'hey mongle im starting a zine' bandwagon. But we discovered we
could write some really funny stuff and have a lot of fun in the
process.
(2) What do you like?
I like computers, music, movies, the outdoors, and funny people
with distinct personalities. I like my friends. I like doing new
things and going new places. I like having bouts of insanity. I like
sleeping. The list goes on and on and on.
(3) Do you have any goals?
Sure. To actually one day be able to actualize the crazy ideas
that I have-- to be able to stick with an idea and create something
really amazing. But right now I'm just a slacker.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
After the rise and fall of e-zines that take themselves too
seriously, introducing such concepts of 'an elaborate web interface'
and 'quality control', it's refreshing to see an e-zine that returns to
its roots: writing for yourself and your friends or subculture instead
of for the man. FUCK THE MAN.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
It would be AnonGirl but I heard that Canadian chicks have a
vagina dentata.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Styx
====
Name: Matt
1st t-file: DTO #6, "Sunday Morning (Gas Station Blues)"
1st HOE: #96, "Midnight Munchies, Valium, Take a Shower You Dirty Fuck"
Quote: "Fuck you, hooker."
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
During the winter of 1990, I played D&D for the first, and only,
time. The campaign lasted about a week and my character's name was
Styx, named after the mythological river.
In late '91, when I was 14, I was over my friend's house from
school and he showed me BBSs. Crazy ones. Warez. Anarchy t-files.
The
whole bit. No e'zines, though. He also showed me a DDial. I was
intrigued. Real-time chat. Holy cow. (Interestingly enough, 5 years
later he'd go on to put out the short lived e'zine HAPPY, inspired by
none other than h0e - he was El Jefe.)
In March of '92, when I turned 15, I got a modem for my birthday.
I had an Amiga 500, and the modem was a 1200 baud dinosaur. I think it
cost 25 bucks or something. I was "Lord Styx." Ominous, I know. I
eventually became a sysop of all three local DDials in the Philadelphia
area. Some might say that's pathetic. Some might say it's "elite." I
say it was circumstance.
It was on those DDials that I met who most of you know as Evol
and
Thal, including many other people who you thankfully and hopefully do
not, or ever will, know. Evol was actually the very first person I ever
met in person from the computer, which was in April of '92. After a
good
two and a half years, she found her way to a local MajorBBS and left the
DDial scene completely, but we still kept in touch. Thal soon followed.
I wasn't paying much attention, so I still sat around on those DDials.
By this point, Evol and I had become really good friends.
In February of '95, Evol came over to my house with a bunch of
people, including Black Francis. I had no idea who he was. At the
time,
he was running Goat Blowers Anonymous. I didn't know that. I hadn't
even heard of it. I found out later. At the time, he was just a random
goober with a baseball cap sitting in my room looking glum.
Around April of '95, Evol again came over my house with a bunch
of
people. Whisper was driving. I can't remember if Mogel was there or
not. My memory is skewed because I was doing heavy drugs back then.
The
only person I knew was Evol. Coincidentally enough, we were all going
to see Seaya perform in her high school play, "The Pajama Game."
Whisper
and I hit it off really well that night, as I recall, and we ended up
doing drugs together and talking for like 2 hours in the parking lot
while Evol and the others were watching the play. He mentioned that he
was a sysop from the MajorBBS that they all called. I promised I'd call
the board to get in touch with him.
I think it was June of '95 when I finally began calling the
MajorBBS. That's where I ran into Mogel, Black Francis (who I then found
out I already knew), Dead Cheese, Seaya, Spiff, Kaia, Mooer, Oodles, and
any other possible Philly-related scene person you could think of. Evol
had told me that Mogel "wrote seriously." That caught my interest, but
it
was passive. At the risk of sounding pretentious or overly self-aware,
my life was a bit of a tornado at that time and nothing moved me much.
He asked me to write, but I didn't take him or the idea seriously.
Around July of '95, Evol came over my house with about 6 people
in
tow. I remember some of them. Nymph and Blueeyes were there. I think
Whisper was, too. So was Mogel. Mogel was the only guy who didn't ask
me any stupid questions about my iguana, so I took an immediate liking
to
him. Again, I *think* this was the first time I met him, although he
might've been at Seaya's play.
After a few encounters with Mogel in the MajorBBS chat room, he
asked me to write for his e'zine. I don't remember if it was h0e or
DTO;
nonetheless, he asked me to write. I did. It was a piece called
"Notebook Ramblings" or something equally retarded. The piece revolved
around analogies to silly putty, or something. I don't have it anymore.
I wrote it on my Commodore 64. It's somewhere in my closet. Obviously,
the thing didn't get used because it was ridiculous. But I didn't
really
try, either. Mogel might even still have it somewhere on his hard
drive.
Around August of '95, when the first issue of DTO was being put
together, he asked me to write again. It took a while, but eventually I
threw something together one night and sent it off to him. I think that
was December of '95, a bit after DTO #5 was released. Now, I had no
idea
where the piece was going. I didn't know what the heck an e'zine was.
No concept of the idea at all. I didn't understand and I didn't care
to.
But that's where my piece went, Mogel informed me. "It's in DTO #6!" he
said. "Great!" I said, pretending to understand.
A few days later, Mogel approached me in the chatroom on the
MajorBBS and asked me if I wanted to go "on IRC!" Going on IRC meant
about as much to me as going on DTO. I had only heard of it in passing
and had no idea what he was talking about. Regardless, I went for it.
I
think he gave me an extra shell account of his or something. He
directed
me to #zines. This was January of '96.
Upon entering, about 6 different people who I did not know
whatsoever started talking to me all at once about the article I had
given to DTO. It was absolutely horrifying and soon after I logged off,
took some sedatives, and went to sleep.
No shit.
So that's pretty much how it all started. Without El Jefe, Evol,
Whisper, and Mogel, none of this would have ever happened.
I damn all four of them to eternal torture.
P.S. - I've recently come to realize that I was fiddling around on the
internet a long time ago. When my cousin Jay and I were about 14
years old ('91), we'd play around on a MUD on Rutger's server
called "NAILS." We'd telnet in from a unix shell and everything.
Little did we know we were doing anything remotely related to the
internet. We just thought it was a really big BBS.
(2) What do you like?
My cousin Jay - He's put up with me for 21 years.
Charles Bukowski - Poet, drunk, gambler, whore, bum. Great
stuff.
Bill Hicks - Died in his early 30s from pancreatic cancer. It
think it was in 1992. One of the most biting social commentators of our
time, period. Most think he's a stand-up comedian, but he's not,
because
while you may laugh at some things he says, the things he says aren't
funny. I've stolen plenty of material from him, a lot of which has
ended up in articles I've written for e'zines.
Tool - The only art-oriented band I know of that were taken in
by the mainstream media and still managed to keep all of their dignity
intact. Not to mention that their live shows are spectacular and, might
I say, even spiritual. They are also fans of Bill Hicks, and even
sample
some of his material in "Third Eye" from their latest album, _’enima_.
Dan Bern - Check him out yourself. http://www.dbhq.com/. I've
seen him three times so far and plan to see him as many more times as I
can. Next week I'm driving up to Massachusetts for one of his shows.
This guy is a major thing. Take my word.
Alcohol and my guitar - I can honestly say there are few things
I enjoy more than getting absolutely plastered, sitting down with my
guitar, and playing/singing songs.
Winter - I love being cold. It gives me an excuse to make hot
cocoa with cinnamon.
Girls that smile.
(3) Do you have any goals?
No. I think the concept of goals is ridiculous, and to elaborate
on that would give the concept of goals more attention than it deserves.
Don't fool yourselves and make goals, folks. The only thing goals are
good for is fodder for those inspirational framed artwork pieces hanging
on the white walls of the cold, bleak office your mother works at.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
I don't know. I came onto the "scene" immediately after h0e
had died. I don't feel like I have a place to comment on what h0e means
to me at all. Infact, I feel like I'm imposing on other people's
territories by even trying to answer this question. Heh.
But if I must answer, h0e means an e'zine completely free of any
sort of anal-retention. No quality control is good in these types of
mediums. It's a throwback to those old e'zines that would last about 2
weeks put out by three zit-riddled young teen goofballs from their
parent's basements at 3 in the morning when they have school the next
day, all sitting around the computer staring at the screen trying to
come up with something witty for their first file_id.diz.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
As far as guys go, Mogel lives relatively close to me and we
rarely hang out at all, mostly due to conflicting schedules. I wouldn't
mind hanging out with him a bit more often. Ilsundal is a really cool
guy. I've never met Kreid, Jook, or Trilobyte, but they all seem nice.
As far as the girls, I've definitely developed a pretty good
relationship with Metal Chick over the past 2 years. I like her a lot
and if I have any say in the matter, that won't change. We talk on a
semi-regular basis and once in a while I'll come home with a surprise
package from her waiting in the mailbox. She rocks. I don't know the
other female h0e writers at all, so I can't really comment. I know
that Tasha is a fellow Dan Bern fan. It doesn't take more than that to
start a conversation sometimes.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Quarex
======
Name: Drew
1st t-file: GRILL #1, "Why You Should be a Cynic"
1st HOE issue: #156, "Why Are They Eating This?"
Quote: "FUCK"
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
Well, my descent into the computer underground somewhat started
when I was 14. That was when I first started making .mods, and before
all that long (when I was 15) I found myself on #trax on efnet, talking
to people I had never heard of, who would later end up doing music for
companies such as Electronic Arts and Sierra (Necros, Basehead, Siren,
Khyron, etc.). Sure, I sucked complete shit back then, as far as music
goes, and they let me know it, but they were all just so darn fun to
talk to that I could not help but always go back there.
I also put up a BBS around the same time that I started making
.mods. A few years later, some random dudes named Murmur and Shadow Tao
started calling, and they would occasionally upload "zines" to my
"Chewing Lice Text Files" directory, like. . . hmm. . . well, it has
been a long time, but the names yolk and pez ring a bell, and I know he
uploaded a lot of CDC stuff. . anyway, eventually, DTO started
happening. One night, when RottenZ and SwissPope were sitting around at
my house, we started reading some random issue of DTO, and thought it
was the biggest bunch of shit we had ever seen. We decided that we
should be writing zines, since we know how to make funny things. One of
them suggested that we call it "Grill," for no apparent reason, and the
other one sat down and started writing an introduction.
Little did we know that this thing we planned to be a one-shot
thing would end up being released somewhat bi-monthly for the next two
years. Grill #12 is sitting in about 1/2 completed form in my Grill
directory, by the way, since you all care.
Also, at some point WAY earlier, during the #trax days, someone
introduced me to a dude named Mogel, who asked to hear a .mod I did
called "Pork," since everyone else thought it was damn funny. So I gave
it to him. And several years later he ended up being this dude who I
actually talked to sometimes! What a coincidence! WHAT A SMALL IRC
AFTER ALL!
As far as my handle(s) go(es), each handle I have ever used has
something resembling a story behind it, naturally, but as we all know,
the only handle I have ever really needed is Quarex. Quarex came
about when I was playing a game called The Dark Heart of Uukrul (I have
no idea when it came out, but whenever it came out was when I made up
the handle. . 1990?), and needed a name for my mage. I already had a
huge list of names I had made up at random, but instead, I opted to
just start typing and see what happened. The muse on my shoulder led
my fingers to type "Quarex Osis," which I felt was the coolest name I
had ever come up with. I eventually started using it regularly, but
dropped the "Osis" when I noticed that lots of words for pig diseases
ended with "Osis." I then went to Quarex Aegis, and dropped "Aegis"
when a battleship game called Aegis came out. So, thus, I have been
Quarex ever since, because it occurred to me that last names are stupid.
I just have to list all the other handles I have used that I can
remember, though, for posterity's sake. Oh, the stories they tell.
Agon Von Bon Bon / Chandral / C'Tamehtan / Cyax / Grammer Kyng /
Guayballanal's Finger / MrKitten / Oppenheimer Boy / Skull / The
Laughing Duck / Verac / Zeed / Ziego Vuantar / many more lost in the
annals of BBS time.
(2) What do you like?
I really do pretty much like everything. That is what makes me
SO FUCKING COOL. I have only been bored once in my life, so far as I
can remember, and that was at the Museum of Science and Industry in
Chicago when I went in '97. For those of you who have not been there
since your childhood, no, it does NOT rule, it FUCKING SUCKS. As a
result of never being bored, I find myself pretty much liking everything
I do and see, and liking most everyone I meet. I have only ever
disliked a few people (at least since Grade School, when I did not
understand life yet), really, and all but one of those people made it
abundantly clear that there was no way that we could be friends, so I
had no choice but to defend myself.
Beyond that, yes, I am into plenty of other things. I love
computers, obviously, as we all should. However, I have figured out why
you love your computer more and more the more you use irc - think about
it. Every time you get positive feedback from another person, you are
actually getting it from the computer. If some hot chick tells you she
likes you on irc, you associate that emotion with sitting in front of
your computer, not sitting in front of the girl.
I also love anything involving sitting around in most any
situation, talking to people. Even though those two things pretty much
cover everything I do, I also love cats and generally do not care for
dogs (though I love huge dogs, like Great Pyrannees), love hate and hate
love, and ironically yearn for the complete annihilation of the human
race. And oh yeah, while I am on that, I really like the way I think of
sex as the primary cause of humanity's stupidity. If you have sex, you
suddenly put yourself completely at the will of another person, and more
importantly are engaging in an act designed to MAKE MORE PEOPLE. I SAY,
FUCK THAT. If you must have sex, at least dig up a corpse to do it.
(3) Do you have any goals?
My goal in life, so far as I can tell, has always been to play
games on my computer all day, then go out socializing at night, and
somehow get paid for all of it. Barring the chance that this could
happen, my other goals have been completely random. For a time, I
wanted to be a musician. That still pops up every once in a while, but
it is somewhat unlikely, as I would have to do everything
electronically, and we all know that no electronic musicians can succeed
in today's era of all-acoustic.
I also have wanted to be the editor of just about every
publication I read on a regular basis, as I catch between five and ten
errors in everything, EVERYTHING, and it always pisses me off. I got a
letter in the mail the other day from the English department here at
UIUC, and I found eight grammar and punctuation mistakes in its body.
Fuck you, English.
Beyond that, I have also yearned to be a stand-up comedian or at
least some sort of entertainer, an impressionist maybe, as that is where
most of my talent actually lies anyway. I found some connections a few
months ago, this one woman I am somewhat acquainted with happened to be
around during a group dinner when I was keeping everyone laughing
hysterically as usual, and she told me she has connections at Second
City in Chicago, and that I should go do something with them sometime.
As appealing as that sounds, I do kinda want to make sure that I have
something to fall back on, like, a sword, if that fails.
I also want to be a professional lover. Well, not really, but it
has basically been decided by every girl I know that I give the greatest
backrubs (at least short of the professional level) that the world has
ever seen, so maybe I should go into masseusehood. That is a word.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
H0e fills the void in my life that was left my the sudden
shocking
resignation of my man-servant, Standish. H0e serves, to me anyway, as
something that can always entertain me, as even absolutely terrible
articles can at least be mocked elsewhere, and most of them are short
enough to not get on anyone's nerves anyway. I personally write for H0e
for two reasons. First of all, I am an egomaniac, and an uber-ham as a
result, and thus I love seeing my name in print anywhere. But secondly,
I have always enjoyed getting some kind of reaction out of people, and
my
favorite reaction is, naturally, laughter. So, I tend to shoot for
things that can fulfill both of those requirements.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
That is a very good question. I have naturally thought about
this
to some extent ever since I started writing for H0e, since I am male,
and
at the very least, we think about dating all the time, if not scoring.
Naturally, I initially wanted to score with Soybean. That is, as I
explained earlier, why I initially got involved with h0e, so I could be
on the staff list below Soybean. However, then, through some bizarre
twist of fate, I actually ended up in a relationship with her, so my
mission was accomplished.
Lately, though, since I have not had a girlfriend since cutting
Soybean out of my will in May, I occasionally ponder the h0e staff for
girls to date. Naturally, AnonGirl is off limits, since she is too cool
to flirt with IRC guys. However, I did become interested in Cyn after
reading something she wrote, and then checking out her webpage.
Unfortunately, she lives in California. I have also liked Seaya since
I met her at Dummercon, but there is that slight conflict of interests
there with her, so she serves her purpose as a friend well. Metalchick
is fuckin' hot, but I never see or hear anything from her anyway, so no
go there. I started talking to Phairgirl, too, completely by accident,
but again, she lives in Iowa. I have basically given up on the concept
of scoring with anyone who lives out of this state, but I had some ideas
while it lasted, at least.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Squinky
=======
Name: Jarett
1st t-file: RICUS #1, "What to do with the Homeless"
1st HOE issue: #90, "The True Story of Emmanuelle Goldstein & Erik
Corley"
Quote: "Why do I always meet SF writers and retards and midgets?"
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
Oh, woe to the unshriven, they who would ask this question.
At the time when c=64 computers were contemporary, My father was
there, programming away weird shit like there was no tomorrow, and maybe
there wasn't. Apparently, at some point along the lines, he had seen
WARGAMES, and one day told me about modems. The idea was SOO OOOOOOOOO
COOOOOLLL to me, at my little age of 7, and I tried to get either my mom
or dad to hook me up with one, but they both refused.
About two years later, I saw an episode of Silver Spoons, in
which Ricky Shcroder's girlfriend sends him a gigantic pink heart over
the computer, and inside it says LOVE. I knew they had to be using a
modem, and boy, my lust only grew.
About 1991, I bought a 386sx, with 2 megs of RAM, and I played a
lot of games. I met this kid named Gary Davidson who also played a lot
of games, and we started playing games together. I went to house once,
and found out that he had a modem, and with it he connected to this
service called PRODIGY.
Boy, that was the coolest, because we could find out cheat codes
for Quest For Glory I & II, and learn about the way to score all the
points in King Quest's IV. I believe our collective nickname for the
game bases was something like 'The Wacky Antwerp', being a reference not
to the town, but rather the strange, blue, bouncing creature in the
Quest for Glory series.
Anyway, Gary had a modem, and it sparked up those long brewing
desires, and so, one fateful day, I bought a computer shopper, and with
my father's stolen American express number ordered up an $80 2400 baud
modem.
When it came, I sadly realized I had no where to call, so I
promptly began to call all the BBSs listed in the back of Computer
Shopper, starting up a really nasty phone bill that would be problematic
in later months, until I hit upon a Rhode ISland (401) BBS that had a
list of other BBSs in the 401 area code.
I fell in with the miscreant crowd then, meeting up with a guy
named Daver, another one named Runaway Train, another named Prince Mack,
and two contemps who had gotten their modems and started calling BBSs
around the same time as me named Darwin and Wonko/Suicide King/Some
Other
Bullshit.
And the rest is history.
And what of my father?
He's still using the C=64, trying to predict the future.
And if you think I'm kidding, you're wrong. He really is.
(2) What do you like?
Stuff?
That's a pretty lame question, but, I like being left alone for
long periods of time, I like to pretend that there really are people
worth knowing, and I like James Joyce, because he also liked to pretend
that there really were people worth knowing.
I like books. A LOT. I can say that I have read more than you,
you being the person reading the file at any given moment and coming
across these words, because unless you're Harold Bloom or someone of
similar academic standing, I have. I also know this means nothing.
I like making jokes. I like Theodore Sturgeon, and I really like
Connie Willis. I like Rimbaud. I like making jokes.
I like being left alone.
(3) Do you have any goals?
As cliche as it is, I'd like to die young, before I begin to
really turn into grey ash. I think people live too long now. I figure
that 40 is a good age to die, and I plan to inflict it upon myself then.
Of course, I'm sure by the time I'm 40, I'll be some swill-eating
capitalist pig and death will be the furthest thing from mind, as I
gently stroke the silicone breasts of my token bride, surveying my South
American sugar kingdom.
I hate questions like this and "what do you like", because my
answers are only going to embarrass me later in life, when I look at
this again, in some narcissistic ritual.
My goal in life is to get across as much of the intended meaning
as I can in what I say and write. I want people reading this to realize
that I understand how angsty and youthful all of this sounds, and that
in a week I'll probably repudiate it, but I also want them to understand
that it in two weeks I'll probably be feeling the same way again. And
I'd also like to understand that while everything I've said in this
interview makes me JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE MY AGE, I believe myself to
be somehow different in some way, and that my wants and likes aren't
just that of a angsty kid. I also would like people to understand that
I know the last sentence is a pure egotistical cop-out.
That's what I mean by intended meaning.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
It means watching mogel say funny things every few months,
like "MR. SHIT THE CHRISTMAS SHIT".
That's the basest level.
On a higher, more socially aware level, I like HOE because it's
so shitty. I mean, you look at groups like cDc or +FpG+, or anything
that was started during the times of BBSing, (And I realize that H0e is
much younger than either), and they're still around, but they're *so
crippled*.
cDc #200 may very well be the perfect text file, but what the
hell did they ever do after it? And what the hell are they doing now?
OR All the #hack people... Or anyone who was part of what was
once 'the scene.
They're all become gimps, in the truest sense of the word,
because they're trying to struggle on with an air of legitimacy that
they *now lack*. These groups thrived in a very isolated, small
world. When BBSing dissolved, so did their main rungs of support.
Which is why cDc is now some politically motivated, back orifice
release, Poppy Z. Brite publishing, Pantera-looking, Picture in Wired
bunch of pussies.
They're lost in the maelstrom, and don't have a compass to get
out of it. They can't evolve, because they're constantly trying to
recreate the past. And, of course, they will tell you they're doing new
things, but they aren't. They're just playing the same riffs OVER AND
OVER AND OVER again, under different names.
What I like about H0E is that it always sucked, and it never had
any support, and it was always the shittiest imaginable thing.
It can't repeat itself, because it never *said* anything. It
never *did* anything, and there's strangely twisted honor in that, like
French writer and Nazi sympathized Louis Ferdinand Celine taking pride
in not claiming his actions during WWII were forced by the Germans.
There is never going to be a day where you go to the H0E website
and find mogel babbling about Political Motivation and Freeing Kevin
and trying to hock you t-shirts instead of writing shitty little zines.
The other thing I like about H0E is that mogel is the only guy
whose sense of humor has evolved with time. He's not telling the same
Mortal Kombat II jokes he was in '95. How many other modem people can
you say that about?
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Anongirl, cause she's a super lush, and would be totally easy,
and, Metal Chick, cause she hated my ass in #dto.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Ziego Vuantar
=============
Name: Ziego
1st t-file: HOE #261, "HOE HAS BEEN SEIZED!"
Quote: "YOU PATHETIC, CAPITALIST BASTARD!"
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
I CARE NOTHING OF YOUR E'ZINE SUBCULTURE. I HAVE NO TIME FOR
THIS. THE COMPUTER UNDERGROUND WAS INTENDED FOR THE SO-CALLED
"UNDERGROUND" TO EXCHANGE ACTIVIST MESSAGES BY EXPLOITING THE SYSTEM.
(2) What do you like?
I HAVE LIVED TOO MANY YEARS OF INTENSE OPPRESSION TO "LIKE" VERY
MUCH BY YOUR SUPERFICIAL, RIDICULOUS AMERICAN STANDARDS. I LIKE TO
CRUSH AND KILL THOSE THAT CRUSH AND KILL.
(3) Do you have any goals?
I WISH TO FREE MY PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED BY CAPITALIST
IDIOTS FOR THE LAST FIVE TO TEN YEARS. YOUR CHILDREN SEND LETTERS
TO COUNTRIES AROUND THE WORLD VIA "AMNESTY INTERNATION" BUT YOU FORGET
THAT AMERICA IS EQUALLY AS CRUEL AND MANIPULATIVE. ONE DAY... I WILL
HAVE MY REVOLUTION! AND YOU WILL ALL BE FREE... AFTER I DEMOLISH AND
KILL ALL THAT STAND IN MY WAY!
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
"HOE" E'ZINE COINCIDENTALLY HAS THE SAME NAME AS MY GROUP OF
REVOLUTIONARY FORCES. THERE WAS NEVER A CONNECTION, UNTIL WE
UNEXPECTEDLY STUMBLED UPON THE WRITERS IN OUR HOME LAND OF VENEZUELA.
THE HOE WRIERS MAKE EXCELLENT HOSTAGES.
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
THE ONE WHO CALLS HERSELF "PHAIRGIRL" SEEMS EXCITING. THE REST
OF
THE HOE WRITERS ARE SWINE... BUT SHE... SHE IS EXOTIC, YET FACINATING.
I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW HER MORE WHEN SHE IS NO LONGER MY PRISONER.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
Mogel
=====
Name: Mike
1st t-file: HOE #4, "Meaningful Shit"
Quote: "I love everyone!"
(1) How did you get involved in the computer underground and e'zines?
Well, originally I'd been using the computer since they released
those wonderful TRS-80's... I think my family got one in 1981, and I
started programming in BASIC and doing anything my little 7-year-old
mind could think up. That might've not been very much. I do remember
making a great RPG where you had to run from Godzilla and another game
where you shoot your teachers with a gun.
Sometime when I hit the big age of 15 (1991), I got a modem and
began calling tons of local BBS's. I mostly downloaded some games,
posted on their message boards, and played the ever-infamous online
game.
I still dream at night about trading Organics, Fuel Ore, or Equipment.
At some point, perhaps about 1993, some of my local friends
(whom I knew before getting online) introduced me to several new things
-- most obviously, the local, Philly "hacker scene" and the internet.
WOW!
Of course, when you're a teenager it's quite easy to get bored of
the endless drones of school and spend the majority of your mental
energy
doing something else. I spent most of that time online. For a while, I
was a dumb, little cliche haxor script-kiddie, but to make a long and
very boring story short, I eventually ran into tons of e'zines, and more
specifically "the text file". It's not as if I hadn't run into text
files before, of course, but until I ran into such collections of them
did I consider the idea with any seriousness. Of course, these files
were things like cDc, Phrack, and BLAH. Not too much later, I decided
rather blindly, "hey, I will start a really stupid local text file
group!" which is something that doesn't seem to be all that original of
a thought. Especially not in early 1994.
Okay, so there were TONS of text file groups. What on earth
could I do to get mine noticed... a funny name! Yeah, not just that...
an obnoxious name -- *HOE*!
It was that simple. The acronym "hogs of entropy", which was a
blatant (and intentional) cDc-ripoff, was actually fairly random, as
these
things tend to me. The first, say, 60 issues of HOE are absolutely
terrible... but I'll be damned if I didn't have fun making them with
everyone. Especially with Black Francis and Abigwar.
Oh, this is quickly turning into a HOE-history instead of a
Mogel-history. That's bad.
I wrote for several other e'zines over the years, and helped run
a relatively successful, "serious" e'zine for 2 years called
"Doomed to Obscurity" with several other guys, several of which I
consider good friends now. Some even write for HOE! DTO was an attempt
at trying to add a literary aspect to e'zines -- by having (at least
some
of us) try our best to write something unique and interesting.
Sometimes
the writing was absolutely fantastic, however, looking back now, a lot
of
it was self-absorbed, annoying, and generally took itself entirely too
seriously.
Oh, and as for my handle... when I was just born, my sister was
just learning to talk and couldn't say my first name (Michael)
correctly,
and it came out "Mogel". It was a dumb nickname that seemed to stick
with my family. In 1991, when a prompt asking me for a nickname stared
me in the face, "Mogel" seemed like a natural response. It's a
relatively meaningless handle (if handles are ever supposed to have
meaning?)... and I made a very half-hearted effort to change it to
"Yes, Okay" this year, but of course, after 7 years of being called
"Mogel", it was pretty futile.
(2) What do you like?
Communication.
Seriously. I know that sounds like a vague and empty thing to
say, but I tend to think that most of what I appreciate in life are
those
who can communicate effectively. I tend to choose my friends, my film
projects, my writing, my interests... all in this direction. Effective
communication.
I'm very much interested in philosophy, film, writing, and good
conversation. I suppose your average 15-year-old GAP shopper would
consider those some pretty boring things to put effort into, but I can't
help but ask the cliche question "what else is there?".
(3) Do you have any goals?
Ideally, I'd like to surround myself with tons of creative and
dynamic people. I'd like to find a way to effectively pipe my eccentric
and bizarre personality into a real job. Right now, I have a very
profound feeling that the best direction for me to do this would be
film,
regardless of how competitive it is. If you're good, you're good. If
you can make something you will be proud of, you will be proud. I tend
to take things in simple terms like that, and I intend on fulfilling my
dream of producing something creative that I am genuinely very proud of.
I only have one chance as Mogel on planet Earth, so I'd be a
fool not to follow my heart.
(4) What does HOE mean to you?
Honestly? HOE doesn't mean shit, and that's the point.
I often half-jokingly say, "HOE is genius", but really HOE is
pure nostalgia-candy. I guess I have a different outlook on HOE since
I'm Mogel.
Actually, up until the last year or so, I've completely hated
HOE's existence and somehow wished everyone would forget about it. When
I was going through my "I-take-myself-way-too-seriously" phase, the old
HOE files served as almost a mockery of how stupid I could be. I'll
admit the old files were often *intentionally* a bit raw and crappy,
but... it took a long while for me to realize just how fucking cool
that is.
I'd better explain.
The "trashy" aesthetic has always been a key element of text
files. I mean, the phenomena of text files, historically, has always
been about something very simple-yet-cool: the idea that any guy with
a computer and a modem can write up a simple message -- political,
poetic, stupid, serious, funny, informative, whatever -- and have it be
distributed to a vast, amorphous "audience" that could be anywhere from
1
person to millions.
When I wrote a lot of those old HOE files, I really didn't expect
to get e-mails 4-5 years later from BBS kids in California, saying
that they read my files. The whole concept blows my mind, that young
people could potentially spread whatever message they wanted without
massive advertising money.
It makes me sad that the raw, obnoxious, "underground text file"
groups are a relic now... simply archives.
Don't get me wrong. HOE is still crappy, but we're as crappy
as we wanna be. The question of "standards" isn't really the point.
We're a completely absurd production. With the exception of UXU,
FUCK, and CDC (which barely ever releases), the ASCII e'zine no longer
exists. We're doing this to entertain ourselves. Sometimes with clever
ideas, sometimes with cheap laughs, and occasionally with quality
writing.
We've no interest in taking ourselves seriously... again, that's
not the point. We're about having a all-embracing production where
*anyone* can potentially be a part of with relative ease and for no good
reason other than that they might like text files.
The point of all this rambling is simple. HOE is taking the
oldschool, "trashy" e'zine aesthetic and sticking in some eccentric, new
voices into the mix. It's both exactly like and completely different
from anything that's been done before.
You know, as long as I'm rambling about HOE, and this is going to
be preserved in issue #300, I might as well talk about something else I
find interesting... approval.
E'zines are usually a representation of the beliefs of one person
or one group of people's ideas about society. So, what happens when
you're releasing something which is primarily so utterly silly?
Obviously you could take some sort of dip-ass, existential argument with
it, such as "there is no meaning in text files! there is no meaning in
writing!", but of course that's going way too far.
It's amusing that HOE is fundamentally rooted in crap, because
we do occasionally release some files that are pretty interesting or at
least very funny. We've all come to expect weird stuff to come out of
HOE, but what happens when something GOOD is released? There's just as
much approval for that, I think. It's likely that people aren't
continually reading and writing for HOE because they consider it high
art. But if this is the case, I think there's the tendency to ask some
simple questions:
What are people looking for that is found in HOE? Is there
something that transcends the normal standards of quality-control?
How in hell are there 27 official writers for HOE on December 3rd, 1998?
Of course, these questions are stupid. HOE blurs the line
between good and bad. I prefer very simple answers, like, "because
HOE rules". Because it does.
And I do realize this contradicts me saying "HOE doesn't mean
shit", but life is full of contradictions! I love what I hate!
(5) Which other h0e author would you like to score with?
Quite honestly, I'm fond of all the girlies that write for HOE.
If I could, I'd probably splice their genetics and composite all
of them into one perfect female. Although, if someone was holding a gun
to my head and I were forced to choose, I'd probably pick Metal Chick.
After all, she started the *first* HOE revival and this e'zine wouldn't
be here now without her. That's also a reason to hate her. She's also
pretty cute.
If I were gay, I'd circle-jerk with Styx, Trilobyte, Swiss Pope,
and Kreid.
!!=======================================================================
=!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #300, WRITTEN BY THE HOE STAFF,
12/3/98 !!