TABLE OF CONTENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR ........................................ 2
INTRODUCTION .................................................. 4
THE WEDDING CEREMONY ............................ 6
SERMONS AND VOWS ...................................... 13
RINGS: .................................................................. 25
DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE: ................... 26
BENEDICTIONS .................................................. 29
PRONOUNCEMENT ........................................... 31
CONTINUED CEREMONY ............................... 32
ROSE CEREMONY ............................................. 35
TO THE PARENTS .............................................. 35
ODDS & ENDS ..................................................... 35
INDEX ................................................................... 36
1
About the Author
Jim Macy Ph.D. is a well-known
Officiant in San Luis Obispo and in
Tollhouse. Dr. Macy has assisted over 250
families to develop and realize their dream
of a personal and unique wedding
ceremony. Jim is published in the
upcoming book “Letters from the Soul”
ISBN #-0-7951-5160-8, a hardbound book of
Poetry.
Dr. Macy is a Minister & Officiant,
which required him to take 5 years of
courses and then pass a comprehensive
exam proving his proficiency Philosophy,
Metaphysics, and Eastern Philosophy. He is
well equipped to officiate at weddings
and other ceremonies. Jim lives with his
wife Loni in Tollhouse.
Jim feels that a wedding is a special
day when the bride and groom express the
unique relationship to each other and they
invite guests to participate in their joy and
celebration.
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Marriage is a celebration of love,
commitment and life, which should be
entered into sincerely and joyously.
Jim has officiated at weddings,
baptisms, and funerals for over 25-years.
He enjoys officiating because, “Each
wedding is unique and most couples
experience an exciting spark of genuine
unbridled and spontaneous emotion that is
more than the sum of the parts.”
3
Introduction
My intention in providing you with
this booklet is to give you some ideas to
work from in deciding what you want your
ceremony and your vows to reflect.
Please feel free to mark up the
various sections you will find in the following
pages. This is a workbook, and as such, I
have left several blank areas for your
personal notes.
When you are finished with the
booklet you will have all the information
you need to put your ceremony and vows
in order. Save this booklet, after all, you
have used it as your personal workbook,
and it’s now uniquely yours.
I have divided the information
to two general classes,
1. General information,
and
2. Sermons and Vows.
The general information section will
give you an overview of the ceremony,
from start to finish. You may also want to
look at “Odds & Ends for some additional
tips on etiquette. The sermons (or, if you
prefer, readings) and vows are just that.
4
In deciding what you want for your
ceremony, first decide what elements you
want to include (from the “Wedding
Ceremony” section).
Next you should pick out the sermon
(reading) and vows, which closely reflects
your personal relationship (Of course, you
can always write your own vows). Once
you have those two things (readings &
vows) your almost done. Now simply cut
and paste and then read through it and
see how it flows. Best have a third person
read and role-play through the ceremony
from start to finish. One you have the
rehearsal down pat, then time it. Most
weddings I’ve helped with are about 8 to
10 minutes long. If you want a longer
ceremony add stuff. If you want a longer
shorter ceremony start condensing.
5
The Wedding Ceremony
There is no end to the number and
types of wedding ceremonies. Some are
steeped in tradition. Others are as new as
new age. From Traditional Christian
weddings to handfastings, it up to the
couple to decide how to best celebrate
their relationship.
Take into consideration your faith,
denomination, and family backgrounds.
Next, determine how much leeway
you will have in modifying traditional vows
or creating your own ceremony or vows.
Remember, while this is your day, you will
have to live with in-laws from both sides, so
there is no reason to go to war
unnecessarily.
In the past, the elements of a
wedding ceremony were somewhat
standard (and marriages were arranged!).
Today, ceremonies may be embellished
and their order changed from depending
on your desires. Here are some of the
major elements you may want to consider:
Traditionally, the ceremony begins
with the groom's mother and then the
bride's mother being seated in the front
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row aisle seats by an usher, a groomsman,
or sometimes even the groom. Before
these ladies are seated the families from
each side are escorted to the front row
seats. Grandparents, aunts and uncles,
and others identified as extended family
members are seated. The aisle seats are
saved for the bride and groom’s parents.
If it is an informal outdoor wedding,
the guests may be asked to stand in a
circle or semi-circle around the wedding
party.
7
Wedding Procession
There are many ways the groom
and bride can enter. A lot depends on
how many attendants you have and
how formal the ceremony and
surroundings.
In many ceremonies the groom
and minister (officiant) wait at the head
of the aisle. The best man and
groomsmen may follow, or they may
escort the bridesmaids from the back of
the room and down the aisle. If there is
a ringbearer, he or she follows the other
attendants. The flower girl, if there is
one, usually enters right before the
bride.
For simple weddings, the same
bridal march can be used for the
attendants and the bride. With several
bridesmaids, you may want an
introductory piece, followed by the
wedding march for the bride only. The
mothers take the lead in standing up
when the bride enters.
If the bride's father or another
man is escorting her down the aisle, he
walks on the bride's left. He can simply
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escort her down the aisle and then sit
down, or the officiant may ask, "Who
gives this bride in marriage [to this
man]?" or "Who blesses this marriage?"
The father replies "I do," "Her mother and
I do," or "Her family and I do." The
minister then says, "Thank you." The
father may kiss the bride on the cheek,
and perhaps offer her right hand to the
groom's left hand as they walk the last
step to the front together. The father or
escort then sits down in the first row aisle
seat.
Greeting
This includes seating those in
attendance, welcoming the audience,
acknowledging the families, and
comments by the officiant. Comments
might be personal information about
the bride and groom or a few words on
marriage and its meaning. (Wedding
sermons or readings may be inserted
here so check the sermon section.)
9
Declaration of Intentions
The declaration is, in simple
terms, the vows. Many couples spend
the most time and energy developing
exactly what they want to promise and
proclaim to one another. After all, the
words you speak to each other are the
ones you will want to live with from this
time forward. (Check the section on
Vows.)
10
Exchange of Rings
Whether there are one or two
rings, the minister/officiant will ask for
them, and receive them from the ring
bearer. Many couples want to have
the rings blessed or have a prayer
offered for the couple, but again it is a
matter of personal choice. (Check the
section on Ring Exchange.)
Blessings and Readings
This area is one that is used
primarily in more traditional
ceremonies; however, it is right to
include it in any ceremony. Blessings or
benedictions for the couple and a few
words regarding the nature of this
marriage would be included here.
(Wedding sermons may be inserted
here so, again, check that section.)
Pronouncement
This is the time for the minister
/officiant to introduce the couple to
the audience as husband and wife.
11
Continued Ceremony
Unity Candle, Rose Ceremony,
or Parents acknowledgement.
12
Sermons and Vows
Wedding Sermon
(Here is your chance to edit what
the officiant will say. This is an
introduction to let your guests “shift
gears” into a more esoteric or spiritual
frame of mind)
Option #1
Friends, we have come here today
to celebrate love.
We see it in the faces of
______________ and ____________ who stand
before us, and we experience it in our own
hearts as well. This love is powerful enough
to overcome the entangled knot of life. It is
the love that is spoken of in all religions,
which kindles our souls with.
___________ and __________ have
opened their hearts to one another, and in
just a few moments will share their vows of
marriage together.
We are deeply grateful to them for
opening their hearts to us as well, inviting us
to witness and share in this precious
moment.
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To this day they bring the fullness of
their being as a treasure to share with each
other.
Their marriage is being entered into
reverently, with the recognition of a true
union, which they have already
discovered. What greater joy is there for
two souls than to join together; to
strengthen each other in all their
endeavors; to support each other through
all sorrow, and to share with each other in
all gladness?
We hope that the words and spirit of
our gathering may be filled with a truth
that will deepen with the passing years. We
hope, too, that the meaning of the vows
that ______ and _______ are about to share
with each other will deepen, as they
discover the endless possibilities of this life
together.
Theirs is a love which ought not be
tarnished by common events, but which
shall flower in deepest adversity and in
greatest joy.
_____________, _______________ as the
years go by, may you find more and more
a love in each other, which neither comes
nor goes, which neither flowers nor fades,
but is always expressing itself anew.
14
Everything in your marriage can
partake of this mystery, until wherever you
turn you see reflections of your love for one
another.
May the love you have for one
another always remember the radiant
power, which first brought you together.
Love is stronger than your conflicts,
bigger than life's changes, the miracle
always inviting you to learn, to blossom,
and to expand. It is to love that you must
always return.
15
Wedding Sermon
Option #2
(This entire sermon may replace sermon #1,
or you may choose paragraphs from each sermon
to blend together.)
Friends, we are gathered here today
to celebrate the love of ___________and
_____________, as they make their pledges
of marriage before God and before this
company.
Jesus Christ was once asked, "What is
the greatest Law that mankind must
follow?" And he answered them by saying
that we must love God with all our hearts,
and love our neighbors as our self.
We do not think about how we love
ourselves. It is a love unconsciously
experienced each and every day. It is
understood and never questioned. It is this
type of love that is the greatest gift we can
offer one another. It is this constant
unquestioned love that makes marriage so
very special, and such a cause of joy and
celebration for all of us who have come
here today to share in this event.
It is my personal hope that you who
have already taken the vows of marriage
will witness the love of these two people,
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as you hear them share their vows. Perhaps
it will strengthen the memory of your happy
day, and remind you of the meaning of
the vows you yourselves once took.
It may even strengthen just a little bit
the bonds of love that have been growing
between you and our spouse.
If any of this should happen, it would
certainly be the greatest gift that
__________ and __________ could offer all of
us on their wedding day.
Marriage is an act of faith and ever-
deepening commitment, as well as a
loving union between a man and a
woman. It has been described as the best
and the most important relationship that
two people can share, the creation of a
single growing energy of spiritual life.
Marriage can be a lifelong unfolding of
loving kindness, backed by the will to
make it last. There is no limit to the knowing
of another's soul, and when you learn to
love one person, then you grow in love for
all of humanity.
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Wedding Sermon
(Ceremony From the Book of Common
Worship)
Option #3
Dearly beloved: we are assembled
here in the presence of God to join
_____________ and _________________ in holy
matrimony, which is instituted by God,
regulated by His commandments, blessed
by Jesus Christ and to be held in honor
among all people.
God has instructed all who enter into
this relationship to cherish a mutual esteem
and love; to bear with each other's
infirmities and weaknesses; to comfort
each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow;
to provide for each other, and for their
household, in temporal things; to pray for
and encourage each other in things which
pertain to God; and to live together as the
heirs of the grace of life.
The Lord God said, It is not good that
the Man should be alone; I will make him a
helpmeet for him. The holy estate of
matrimony signifies to us the mystical union
between Christ and his Church, which
Christ adorned and beatified with his
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presence and first miracle that he
performed at Cana of Galilee. Therefore, it
is not by any to be entered into
unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently,
discreetly, soberly, and in the Love of God.
Into this holy estate these two persons
present come to be joined. I require and
charge you both, as you stand in the
presence of God, that, having duly
considered the holy covenant you are
about to make, you do declare before this
company your pledge of faith, each to the
other. Be well assured that if these solemn
vows are kept inviolate, as God's word
demands, and if steadfastly you endeavor
to do God's will, God will bless your
marriage, will grant you fulfillment in it, and
will establish your home in peace.
First vows
_______________________, do you take
_________________ to be your wife, to love
her, to cherish her, and to continually
bestow upon her your heart's deepest
devotion? {I do.}
And __________________, do you
take _______________ to be your husband,
to love him, to cherish him, and to
continually bestow upon him your heart's
deepest devotion? {I do.}
19
Please join hands, face one another
and repeat after me: __________, you are
my beloved, to love and to cherish, and to
have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, for
better, for worse, in sickness and in health,
in sadness and in joy, to share our lives
together, from this day forward.
(Both bride and groom repeat these
vows individually).
Alternative Vows
(These can be used after the "I Do's" in
place of the vows, which appear in the
standard ceremony)
First alternative:
Please join hands and repeat after
me: __________________, I take you as my
wife/husband. I pledge to share my life
openly with you, to speak the truth to you
in love; I promise to honor and tenderly
care for you, to cherish and encourage
your own fulfillment through all the
changes of our lives.
Second alternative:
___________, I take you as my
wife/husband, to laugh with you in joy, to
grieve with you in sorrow, and to grow with
you in love.
20
Tradition Wedding Vows
(Alternatives)
1. Do you (Groom’s name) take
(Bride’s name) to be your lawful wedded
wife? I DO. Will you love, respect and
honor throughout your years together? I
WILL.
Bride repeats the same vows)
2. (Groom’s Name) do you take
(Bride’s Name) whom you now hold by the
hand to be you lawful wedded wife? I DO.
Do you promise to love and cherish her, in
sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer,
for better, for worse, and forsaking all
others, keep yourself only unto her, for so
long as you both shall live? I DO.
(Bride repeats the same vows)
Do you mutually promise in the
presence of your friends and family that
you will at all times and in all
circumstances, conduct yourselves toward
one another as becomes Husband and
Wife? WE DO.
3. (Groom’s Name) do you pledge
to love (name) and throughout your years
together conduct to be honest, faithful,
21
and kind to her? Do you pledge to give her
the same happiness she gives to you, to
react to her as only you can, and to
respect her for who she is, not who you
want her to be? I DO.
(Bride repeats the same vows)
4. I pledge to you with all my heart
and being to love and support you in all
ways, to my utmost capabilities for the rest
of our lives.
More Traditional vows
[Pick one or none from brackets]
A) I, (Bride/Groom, or your name),
take [you/thee] (Groom/ Bride or name),
to be my (wife/husband), to have and to
hold from this day forward, for better or for
worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and
in health, to love and to cherish; and I
promise to be faithful to you until death
parts us.
B) Bride’s: I, (Bride's Name), take
[you/thee], (Groom's Name), to be my
[lawfully wedded] husband, secure in the
knowledge that you will be my constant
friend, my faithful partner in life, and my
one true love.
22
B1) On this special [and holy] day, I
(affirm/reaffirm/give) to you in the
presence of God and [all those in
attendance/these witnesses] my [pledge
/sacred promise] to stay by your side as
your [faithful] wife in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the
good times and the bad.
Groom’s: I [promise/further promise]
to love you without reservation, comfort
you in times of need, and rejoice with you
in times of joy. With all my heart I take you to
be my wife. I will love you through the good
and the bad, through the joy and the sorrow. I
will try to be understanding, and to trust in you
completely. I will make you a part of me and in
turn become a part of you. Together we will
face all of life's experiences and share one
another's dreams and goals. We will be equal
partners in an open honest relationship
throughout the years.
5. (Repeated to each other after me
by phrases)
(Name) it is my intention to be your
best friend, to respect and support you, to
be patient with you, to work together with
you to achieve those things that are
important to us, to accept you
23
unconditionally, and to share life with you
in times of distress and joy. Encourage you
to achieve [higher/all of your] goals, laugh
with you and cry with you, grow with you in
mind and spirit, always be open and
honest with you, and cherish you for as
long as we both shall live.
B) I, (Groom's Name), take
[you/thee], (Bride's Name), to be my
[lawfully wedded] wife, knowing in my
heart that you will be my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life, and my one true
love.
B1) On this special [and holy] day, I
[affirm/reaffirm/give] to you in the
presence of God and [all those in
attendance/these witnesses] my [pledge/
sacred promise] to stay by your side as
your [faithful] husband in sickness and in
health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I [promise/further promise] to love
you without reservation, honor and respect
you, provide for your needs as best I can,
protect you from harm, comfort you in
times of distress, grow with you in mind and
spirit, always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both
shall live.
24
RINGS:
Exchange of rings
What tokens of your love and
devotion do you have to offer one
another?
[These Rings/This Ring]
May these rings be blessed as a
symbol of this affectionate unity. Your two
lives are being joined today in one
unbroken circle. Wherever you go, may
you always return to one another in love.
May you find in one another the love for
which all men and women yearn. May you
grow in understanding and compassion.
May the home which you establish
together be such a place of sanctuary
that all who are here today and others
through the years will find there true
friends. May these rings, soon to be on your
fingers, symbolize the touch of the spirit of
love that is in both your hearts.
_______________, in placing the ring on
___________________'s left hand, please
repeat after me: ____________________, I
give you this ring as a pledge of my love,
and as a symbol of our unity.
(Choose from these or compose you
own.)
25
1. With this ring I thee wed.
2. With this ring I pledge my love.
3. With this ring I pledge my
commitment.
4. With this ring I pledge my love and
commitment.
Declaration of Marriage:
1) By the power vested in me, and as
witnessed by friends and family, I now
pronounce you husband and wife.
You may seal your vows with a kiss.
Alternative
2) ______________ and
_________________, you have consented
together to marriage before this
company, pledged your faith and
declared your unity by each giving and
receiving a ring, and, as you are now
joined together in mutual esteem and
devotion, it is my privilege as an ordained
minister to pronounce that you are
married, and to offer you this
(Benediction)
(Congratulations)
26
3) Because _________ and __________
have exchanged these vows of love in our
presence, we now recognize them as
husband and wife.
Benediction.
Congratulations
27
Declaration and Benediction From
the Book of Common Worship:
For as much as _______________ and
____________ have consented together to
holy wedlock, and have witnessed the
same before God and before this
company, I pronounce that they are
Husband and Wife, in the name of the
Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
What God has joined together, let not man
put asunder.
Let us pray. May God the Father,
God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless,
preserve and keep you; the Lord mercifully
with His favor look upon you, and fill you
with all spiritual benediction and grace;
that you may so live together in this life,
that in the world to come you may have
life everlasting. Amen.
(Congratulations)
28
Benedictions
Benediction of the Apaches: ``Now
you will feel no rain, for each of you will be
shelter to the other. Now you will feel no
cold, for each of you will be warmth to the
other. Now there is no more loneliness for
you, but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your welling place, to enter into
the days of your togetherness, and may
your days be good, and long upon, the
earth."
(Congratulations)
Alternative:
May the Lord bless you and keep
you. And may the Lord make His face to
shine upon you, and be gracious unto you.
May God give you His peace in your going
out and in your coming in, in your lying
down and in your rising up, in your labor
and in your leisure, in your laughter and in
your tears, until that day when you come
to stand before Jesus in that day in which
there is no sunset and no dawning. Amen.
(Congratulations)
29
Alternative:
Give to one another new
experiences of joy. Challenge one another
so that you may grow. May the love you
hold for each other, now sealed in
marriage, continue to mature with the
passing years. May you never take each
other for granted, but always experience
the wonder of your union. Be slow to
anger, quick to forgive, leaving no tracks
of resentment behind each day. May your
love consist not only in gazing into each
other's eyes, but also in looking outward in
the same direction. May your life together
be a source of strength and inspiration to
yourselves, your families, your friends, and
to all whose lives you touch. Amen
(Congratulations)
30
Pronouncement
Congratulations:
Congratulations, you may now kiss
the bride!
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
present Mr. and Mrs. (or first names of bride
and groom)_____________________________.
Alternative
Congratulations, you may now kiss
one another.
31
Continued ceremony
Unity Candle
Unity Candle Ceremony
Adapted from Dr. Joyce Gioia
Now, we're going to engage in a
ceremony of spiritual symbolism. Ancient
sages tell us that for each of us, there is a
candle, a symbol of our own Inner Light,
but that no one can kindle his or her own
candle. Each of us needs someone else to
kindle it for us.
When two people fall in love, they
kindle each other's candles, creating great
light and joy and glorious expectations.
Now, [Name] and [Name], I'd like
you to remember when it was in your
relationship that you first realized you were
truly in love and wanted to spend the rest
of your lives together. Holding that
thought…
[Name], take this candle, symbol of
the inner light in [Name], light it by the
eternal light, with the dedication to
rekindle it again and again, whenever
32
necessary. And [Name], take this candle,
symbol of the inner light in [Name], light it
by the eternal light, with the dedication to
rekindle it again and again, whenever
necessary.
With these candles, we can see how
to achieve a beautiful marriage. In your
marriage, you will try to bring these lights,
the symbols of yourselves, closer and closer
to each other, until they become [join the
flames] one great torch of light; a radiant
symbol of love, joy, peace and harmony.
[Hold flames together] This is the mystery of
the union two becoming one.
Yet, it is vitally important to
remember that there are always really two
[divide the flames] in a marriage, each
with his or her own desires, yearnings,
dreams and wishes. And these must be
respected and responded to with great
love, with great compassion and with
genuine tenderness.
We know that it is the prayer of your
beloved, as it is the prayer of each of us
here, that you will continuously light these
candles of love, so that there will always
be light and joy, peace and harmony in
your hearts and in your home.
33
Please kiss each other.
34
Rose Ceremony
Oops, not done yet – email for
information
To the Parents
Oops, not done yet – email for
information
Odds & Ends
35
Index
A
Declaration of Marriage 26
Apaches .................... 29 Dr. Joyce Gioia ........ 32
B G
Benediction God .... 16, 18, 19, 23, 24,
Apache ................. 29 28, 29
Traditional ............. 29 God's .......................... 19
bride.......... 6, 8, 9, 20, 31 Groom ...... 21, 22, 23, 24
grow ..... 17, 20, 24, 25, 30
C
H
candle ........................ 32
Ceremony health . 20, 21, 22, 23, 24
7) Continued husband .. 11, 19, 22, 24,
Ceremony ........... 12 26, 27
Rose ......................... 34 Husband and Wife . 21,
Ceremony Order 28
4) Exchange of Rings
K
............................ 11
Ceremony Order kiss ............... 9, 26, 31, 33
Greeting ..................... 9
Pronouncement ........ 11 L
Ceremony Order Ladies and
3) Declaration of gentlemen ............ 31
Intentions .............. 9 Lord ................. 18, 28, 29
Ceremony Order
love .... 13, 14, 15, 16, 17,
Wedding Procession .. 8
18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23,
Christ ..................... 16, 18 24, 25, 26, 27, 30, 32,
Common Worship ........ 28 33
Congratulations 26, 27,
28, 29, 30, 31 M
Continued ceremony .... 32 marriage ... 9, 11, 13, 14,
D 15, 16, 19, 26, 30, 33,
36
Declaration
Traditional ............. 26
36
N Modern .................. 13
sickness .. 18, 20, 21, 22,
Name .. 21, 22, 23, 24, 32
23, 24
P spirit ................. 14, 24, 25
pledge19, 20, 21, 22, 23, V
24, 25, 26
vows 4, 5, 6, 9, 13, 14, 16,
promise ... 20, 21, 22, 23,
19, 20, 21, 22, 26, 27
24
Vows
Pronouncement ............. 31
Bride’s .................... 22
R Common Worship ... 19
remember ........... 32, 33 Groom's ................. 23
Traditional ............... 22
Ring Exchange
Pledges ................ 25 W
Tokens.................... 25 Wedding Sermon ... 16, 18
rings....................... 11, 25 wife11, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23,
RINGS .......................... 25 24, 26, 27
S wife/husband ..... 20, 22
Sermon
37