The Man Who Really Didn’t Want To Die.
There was a man who didn’t want to die.
True, there are many others who also do not wish to die. However, all of them eventually
put up with death and accept it, or they die before they can. But this man REALLY didn’t
want to die. He couldn’t even imagine himself ever accepting death.
“Who ever thought of such a stupid idea as death?” he’d always say, and then they’d
explain to him that every thing has a beginning and an end – and death is part of life.
When he was little the man said that when he grows up he’ll invent a vaccine for death.
The years passed but the man never ceased to be bothered by the shadow that has been
casted upon him by his certain death. He traveled the world and inquired different people
and read many books – that might explain to him something he doesn’t know, but it
didn’t actually help. He had spoken to men who claimed that after death one reaches
heaven, and he spoke to men who told him that death is actually an eternal bliss. But all
this didn’t seem to make any sense to him, and he’d prefer to continue living upon the
earth for eternity, and not anywhere else. He’d always say: “If death is indeed so much
better than this life and this shit world – why don’t you put an end to your lives?” and the
men would become silent, and some would cry.
Although the man hated, or feared , or – didn’t want death in his life – he didn’t really
manage to feel any compassion or mercy for others who had died. Which is quite odd.
There was a period of time in which the man who didn’t want to die thought that maybe,
because he REALLY and truly does not want to die, he will in fact never die. There was
also a time in which he thought death is actually a conspiracy of the government, and
sometimes thoughts about reincarnation came to his mind. Although he traveled all
around the world and met all sorts of weird people, he never met any single one who was
like him – who REALLY didn’t want to die. Eventually he realized it doesn’t really
matter. It doesn’t matter what’s after death, it doesn’t matter what others think. The man
simply didn’t want to die.
Eventually the man, had become an old man.
The man learned to hate old age, when it had come, although not nearly as much as he
loathed death. By that time the man had moved to live in a small hut on some distant and
isolated mountain. He thought that if he’d live alone like this, then his death would at
least not be as insignificant as death in the city – which is a common thing – and his
death would have a somewhat more “dramatic” note. It doesn’t really matter – when you
think about it, because he dies anyway, but apparently when you’re old and you’re closer
to death – you try to plan it.
But the man STILL – REALLY didn’t want to die.
And so the man the lived alone in his hut. And although he enjoyed the fresh mountain
air, the birds, the spectacular view, the peace and the quiet – it only increased his sorrow
– for he knew that one day he will die. Sometimes he just sat there and glared at the
ceiling. It might sound a little boring, but for him it was a real sensation. In his mind – he
saw himself discovering new lands, sailing to imaginary lands, fighting monsters and
rescuing princesses.
Apparently when you’re old it’s enough to sit on a chair.
One day something happened.
To the hut a young boy arrived. The man, who had long forgtten about other people was
first frightened, and then surprised. He didn’t understand how this young boy reached his
hut, and why. If he was still a young man, and still lived in the city, he probably would
have gotten rid of the boy. But the man, who was now old, let the boy stay. Apparently
when you’re old you give up easily on things, and you don’t have a lot of energy to deal
with them
The boy barely said anything, but he told the man that he lived in the nearest village, and
he had run away from his home. He noticed the small hut on the mountain, and decided
to climb to see if it is appropriate for living.
And so weeks and even months passed by, and the old man who really didn’t want to die,
and the little boy who ran away from home lived together in the hut. And the man told
the boy of how much he hates death, and the little boy told him how much he hates his
father. The old man would tell him about all the places he visited around the world, and
all the weird people he met. And the boy would tell him about his life since his mother
died, and how his father loved his car more than him.
The man would always make a special soup for the boy, whose recipe he got from some
tribe in south america. And the boy would try to convince the man to set on voyages once
again with him. But the man explained to the boy that now he was old, and he couldn’t do
all the things he used to do. Apparently when you’re a young boy you don’t really get old
people…
At nights, the old man dreamt he is a little boy.
Almost a year passed since the boy arrived to the hut – and the old man felt older in ten
years, and was already exhausted and barely had enough strength to keep his eyes open.
One day he approached the boy and told him:” I am very old now. I spent my entire life
searching for a way to avoid death. All my life I sought to find out what is death. My
hapiness and pleasure is from life itself, I don’t need anything else to be happy. I have
gone through many experiences, and met many people – but soon all would turn into
dust. My sole consolation is that I had you to share my experineces and stories with. But
Sooner or later I would die. When it happens – return to your village. I have only one
thing to ask from you: Write on a piece of paper, that I didn’t want to die, and put it next
to me, on the floor, or maybe on the door.” This way people will know that I didn’t just
fear death. I REALLY didn’t want to die.
The boy agreed, but said he doesn’t want to return to the village. Instead he wants to
travel the world like the old man, and meet odd people. The boy said that the old man
needs not to worry, because he will find a vaccine for death – and bring it to the man
before he dies.
And the man began to cry.
The next day the boy found out the man had died.
He wrote upon a piece of paper: “Here lived the man who REALLY didn’t want to die”
and put it on the door, and also drew a drawing of an old man and a little boy holding
hands. He sat by the man’s body for an hour or so, looked at him – and thought to himself
that now the man is dead. He will NEVER live again. The boy wondered if the man is
suffering now, in his death, after all – he REALLY didn’t want to die.
He went out of the hut and closed the door behind him, with a sad face.
And then he left.
He left and start to travel the world. There he met all sorts of weird characters. They told
him about reincarnation, heaven, and eternal bliss. He met people who want to commit
suicide, and people who think of death as a voyage or a journey. He also read many
books, and even wrote some of his own. One of them was called: “The Man Who
REALLY didn’t Want to Die” – where he told the tale of the man he met in the hut.
After a few years, when the boy grew up to be a man, he invented a vaccine for death.
But the ONLY man who REALLY didn’t want to die –
Had already died.