e-Prosper and Live Longer!
Steps to Life Balance in the 21st Century
Terri Murphy
Isn't it amazing? We all thought this technology stuff would automate systems
and streamline our lives so that we had more time…and so, who has more
time? That hour we might have spent meditating, exercising, writing, reading,
or organizing is now spent responding to the 21st- century answer to voice
mail: email. Although we love the way technology is helping us move at the
speed of light for the price of a local phone call, we have yet to see our day-
to-day lives slow down. Haven't we all made a mental note that we would get
to "it" (whatever "it" is) as soon as things "slowed down a bit"? Perhaps you've
found comfort in giving yourself permission to "postpone" until after the
holidays were over, or after the kids left for school, or.… Here's the real deal.
I'll bet there will never be enough time to be — or to do — all we think we'd
like to. It's not as if time is a commodity available only to the Donald Trumps
and Michael Jordans of the world. We all get about the same measure of
lifetime in which to accomplish those things that create "our lives." For the
sake of self-esteem, health, and a more balanced life, let's look at a few
possibilities that can make this new millennium more satisfying, less guilt-
ridden, and more fulfilling than the previous one.
Playing the Game of Life
The game of life balance requires eternal vigilance. It begins with a single
philosophy that must become integrated into the very foundation of the way
you make choices in the moments of everyday living. Weaving the tapestry of
your life with daily joys, comforts, and simple gratifications makes it a work of
art you enjoy as you live it, instead of at some future date. Terri Murphy In the
critical moment we make a decision, we set our course either toward or away
from our original goal. Even a slight degree of latitude can ultimately move us
in a direction that may not harmonize with our goal. To enjoy the outcome we
intend — and ultimately create the life we want to live — we can use some
helpful strategies to stay "locked" into the big picture.
Begin with the "Big Rock" Theory
Dr. Stephen Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,
tells of a professor teaching about the placement of rocks in a glass container.
It's eminently easier to place big rocks in the container first, followed by little
rocks, then sand, and finally water, than to try to reverse the process. When
designing your life, first decide what your "big rocks" are and schedule them
as designated time slots or days in your annual calendar. Accomplish this by
beginning with the end in mind — work backward from the end of the
upcoming calendar year.
Work Backward
Simply block out the days of the year you've marked with your big priorities,
or "big rocks." The process will take some personal searching as to what you
give high priority to these days. Reserving days for those important things in
life minimizes the possibility of the "no-time-for-it" excuse. Aren't you tired of
hearing yourself say, "I just don't have the time"? Here's your chance to free
yourself of that limitation and plug in all those things you've wished you had
time for. Take this opportunity to pencil in a quarterly "meet a good friend for
lunch" day. Breakfast or coffee can substitute if lunch isn't possible. Include
one day each month for personal grooming and doctors' visits. Don't overlook
a regular quarterly "self-improvement" day for special seminars or courses
you've been meaning to take. You'll enhance your personal relationships by
choosing a regular weekly "date night" to spend with your significant other.
This is not to be confused with a regular weekly "family" night on which the
whole family enjoys dinner and time together. Also plug in a quarterly "chill-
out" day for yourself. Decide ahead of time what you'd like to do on that
special day. Perhaps you'd enjoy an easy day browsing through antique
shops or a special afternoon at a local spa for a much-needed therapeutic
massage. The "planning" part of this exercise is important. Without it, choices
can be carried over from year to year without fruition, never becoming reality.
Change Envy to Resolve
Have you ever noticed that the people we envy the most are those who
seem to have it all? They never seem to have a bad hair day, their cars are
immaculate, and their interestingly appointed homes are rich in character,
interest, and comfort. In addition, they seem to have limitless energy and a
great attitude to match. If you are like most people, you secretly wish you
knew their secret or write them off as not being "real." The truth is, they're
loaded with integrity and self-esteem because they have taken control of
themselves. As a result, they're much more able to roll with the punches life
throws their way. A good analogy is a professional athlete in competition. A
well-trained athlete in optimum health has a much better chance of winning
the match point than a competitor who is distracted, tired, poorly nourished,
and low on energy and attitude. Yet isn't this the way many of us function on a
daily basis? We don't seem to "have the time" to get a haircut regularly, but
that would make us look better each day. We can't seem to get in our daily 30
minutes of exercise, so we succumb to hauling around an extra 10 or 20
pounds every minute of our life, draining our energy and impairing our
efficiency.
Take Control — Of Yourself
It just plain makes sense to control ourselves instead of trying to control the
world around us. We can't control the weather, but we can choose to work out
at a health club or walk in a mall. It may be impossible to count on our
customers, husbands, colleagues, or children to be on time, but we can
choose between waiting for them, wasting our time feeling victimized, and
having an alternative plan. The challenge is that most of us are so
overwhelmed with the hundred things that must be done that we find it hard to
analyze which of them are a real priority in our life plan. That's our life plan —
not the boss', not the company's, not our family's — our own! Taking a quiet,
creative, centering time break will greatly help us get in touch with what's
really important to us and focus on the direction we are creating for our
lives. Instead of envying those "together" types, give yourself permission to
enjoy the things you covet. If you really want to look great in your clothes,
commit yourself to a regular exercise program. The momentum you gain may
empower you to start enjoying a more beautifully appointed home, planning
ways to enhance your living space with objects and colors that please
you. The concept is simple — you're in control of only you, so start the
process by defining what you want and what it will take to accomplish the new
objective. Then define the time and space required to make it happen.
Claim Responsibility — And the Rewards
Without a definite plan, we can become caught in aimlessly wishing for the
things in life we think we want. The truth is, if we really want them, we can find
a way to have them. If we don't, we must admit our desires might not be
sincere if we are relinquishing our power to realize them. You alone know
what you most want — the answer is within you. Make the choice to live your
life to its fullest. Ignore any old mental "recordings" you might have of parents
or teachers saying you couldn't "have" something because they didn't see
themselves as worthy or "entitled." As life unfolds and imposes happenstance
and circumstance, the strong foundation you've created — reserving time for
those things that make your life meaningful and special — will help you
achieve your personal objectives. You'll be making life-defining decisions with
a clear and focused mind, living in a healthy, trim body, and experiencing a
strong sense of self- esteem. There's no need to feel as if the "good life"
belongs only to the rich and famous. With a little planning and discipline, you
can have your share and more. The choice is yours and yours alone. And
when the "game" is over, you'll know you did everything you wanted to do —
and more. You maximized the miracle of life and freely chose the fullest and
most rewarding life possible, with few regrets — and you did it all with joy and
exuberance!
TERRI MURPHY, CRS, GRI, LTG, is a successful entrepreneur, television
producer, author, media commentator, and columnist. One of the most
successful professionals in the real estate industry, she has incorporated her
outstanding information for that industry with sound, practical, no-nonsense
advice in an application for the business community in general. Her best-
selling books, Terri Murphy's E-Listing & E-Selling Secrets for the
Technologically "Clueless" (Dearborn) and Terri Murphy's Listing & Selling
Secrets (Dearborn), are perennial favorites with real estate
professionals. Thank you for choosing this Article from YouAchieve.