Self in Interpersonal
Communication
Chapter 3, Part 1
Devito 10th ed.
Chapter 3
Who are
you….really?
Objectives: Self-Concept
1. Define self-concept; explain how it develops.
2. Explain how culture influences self-concept.
3. Define & give examples of ego
boosters/busters.
4. List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept.
5. Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example.
6. Explain why self-concept is often distorted.
7. Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be
changed.
I. Self-Concept
A. Definition
1. How you view yourself;
self-image
2. Feelings & thoughts about
your strengths, weaknesses
3. Relatively stable set of
perceptions you hold of yourself:
emotional states, talents, likes,
dislikes, values, roles, etc.
B. How the Self-Concept Develops
1. Others’ Images of You
a. Looking Glass Self
b. Reflected Appraisal:
c. Ego Boosters & Ego Busters
2. Social Comparisons
a. Superior/Inferior
b. Same/Different
3. Cultural Teachings
4. Your Own Interpretations &
Experiences
Sources of Self Concept
Other’s
Images
Social Self Your
Concept Interpretations &
Comparisons Evaluations
Cultural
Teachings
Ego Boosters/Ego Busters Exercise
• Recall an ―ego booster‖ who helped
enhance your self-esteem.
• Recall an ―ego buster‖ from your life.
• Recall a time when you were an
―ego booster‖ to someone else.
• Recall a time when you were an
―ego buster‖.
Cultural Influences on Self-Concept
Individualistic Cultures Collectivistic Cultures
• Self is separate, unique • Emphasize extended
indiv; should be inde- families or in-groups;
pendent, self-sufficient ―we‖ orientation
• Should take care of self • Should care for extend-
& immediate family ed family before self
• Reward individual • Reward contribution to
achievement; value group goals; group
individual decisions; decisions valued;
individual credit/ blame shared credit/blame
• Value autonomy, youth, • Value--duty, order, tra-
change, individual dition, age, group se-
security, equality curity, status, hierarchy
C. Characteristics of Self-Concept
The self-concept:
1. affects communication.
2. is subjective.
3. resists change.
4. is flexible, if it is healthy.
5. is multi-dimensional
1. Self-concept affects communication.
High Self-Esteem Low Self-Esteem
1. Likely to think well of others 1. Likely to disapprove of others
2. Expect to be accepted 2. Expect to be rejected
3. Evaluate own performance 3. Evaluate own performance
more favorably less favorably
4. Perform well when being 4. Perform poorly when being
watched watched
5. Work harder for those who 5. Work harder for undemand-
demand high standards ing less critical people
6. Feel comfortable with those 6. Feel threatened by those
perceived as superior perceived as superior
7. Able to defend self against 7. Have difficulty defending self
criticism against criticism; easily
influenced
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
1. We make a prediction based on a
belief.
2. We act toward person/situation as if
prediction/belief is true.
3. BECAUSE we act as if the belief is
true, it becomes true.
4. We observe this effect, which
strengthens our belief.
2. The self-concept is subjective.
a. Obsolete
information
b. Distorted feedback
c. Emphasis on
perfection
d. Social expectations:
Modesty vs. ―Egotism‖
3. The self-concept resists change.
a. Cling to existing self-concept,
even when evidence shows
it’s obsolete
b. Cling to negative outmoded
self-perception—whether
negative or positive
c. Can produce self-delusion
and lack of growth
“Can’t” Exercise
• Write a sentence which states
something you can’t do.
• Cross out the ―can’t‖ and replace it
with ―won’t‖ or ―haven’t yet‖.
• How does this change the meaning
of this sentence?
• What does this have to do with self-
concept?
4. A healthy self-concept is flexible.
a. We change:
-from moment to moment.
-from situation to situation.
-over longer periods of time.
b. We need to constantly
adjust our self-concept
as new data becomes
available.
Changing the Self-Concept
• Have realistic expectations
• Strive for a realistic
perception of yourself
• Have the will to change
• Develop the skill to change
The self-concept is multidimensional.
5. The self-concept is multidimensional.
a. PRIVATE ME
1) Perceived self
2) Person you believe yourself
to be.
b. IDEAL ME
1) Desired self
2) Picture of person you wish
you were
c. PUBLIC ME
1) Presenting self
2) Face you try to show others
Defining My Three Selves Exercise
• Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label
the first column, ―Perceived Self‖. Write words
and/or draw pictures that best describe the person
you know yourself to be.
• Label the second area, ―Desired Self,‖ and repeat
the process using words/pictures that describe the
way you would like to be.
• Label the third area, ―Presenting Self.‖ Us
words/pictures that represent the way to present
yourself to others.
• Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas.
(Out/In, 4th ed. P. 60)
Objectives: Self-Awareness &
Self-Esteem
1. Explain the Johari window.
2. Compare & contrast Johari window for two
different relationships.
3. Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure.
4. List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure.
5. List & explain guidelines for responding to
self-disclosures of others.
II. Self-Awareness
A. Johari Window -- a tool that
represents your communication
behaviors
Goal is to be
as open a
communicator
as appropriate.
Known to Not Known
Self to Self
Known to Open Blind
Others
Self Self
Not
Known
Hidden Unknown
to Others Self Self
Johari Window
III. Self-Esteem – your own
evaluation of worth CLUES?
A. Attack your self-
destructive beliefs.
B. Engage in self-affirmation.
C. Seek out nourish-
ing people.
C. Work on projects that
will result in success.
IV. Self-Disclosure --
sharing previously
unknown personal
information with another
A. Factors Influencing Self-
Disclosure
1. Who You Are
2. Culture
3. Gender
4. Your Listeners
5. Topic
WOMEN
MEN
Weigh the rewards against the
risks before deciding to self-
disclose.
B. Rewards of Self-
Disclosure
1. Get to know self better
2. Increases communication
effectiveness
3. Increases physiological
health
C. Dangers of Self-
Disclosure
1. Personal risks
2. Relational risks
3. Professional risks
Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure
• Consider the:
–motivation.
–appropriateness.
–disclosures of the other.
–possible burdens.
Guidelines for Responding to
Self-Disclosures of Others
• Use active listening skills.
• Support & reinforce the discloser.
• Keep disclosures confidential.
• Do not use disclosures as
weapons.
Objectives: Apprehension
1. Define communication apprehension &
distinguish between state & trait
apprehension.
2. List 7 apprehensive behaviors.
3. List & explain 7 influences on
apprehension.
4. Explain how cultural differences impact
apprehension.
5. Briefly describe 3 apprehension
management theories.
V. Apprehension
A. Nature of comm. apprehension
1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety
about interaction
2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm.,
regardless of situation
3. State apprehension--specific to a
given comm. situation
B. Apprehensive Behaviors
1. Decrease in frequency, strength, &
likelihood of engaging in comm.
2. Less willing to volunteer
3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating
4. Talk less & avoid leadership
5. Disclose less
6. Avoid jobs requiring comm.
7. Less likely to get job interviews
C. Influences on comm. apprehension
1. Degree of evaluation
2. Subordinate status
3. Degree of conspicuousness
4. Degree of unpredictability
5. Degree of dissimilarity
6. Prior success & failures
7. Lack of comm. skills & experience
D. Culture & apprehension
1. Apprehension increases w/unfamiliarity
2. Higher if you have stereotypes,
prejudices
3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status,
perception of evaluation
E. Apprehension Management Theories
1. Cognitive Restructuring--change unreal-
istic beliefs which cause fear of failure
2. Systematic Desensitization--unlearn
apprehension--creating hierarchy of
behaviors leading up to desired behavior
3. Skill Acquisition--
a. Prepare & practice
b. Focus on success
c. Familiarize yourself w/situation
d. Try to relax
The End
Presenting Self?
Appropriate Self-Disclosure?
NOT!!!!!
Surveys/Exercises
• *Weighing Rewards & Costs of Self-
Disclosure
• Self-Concept Scales
• Locus of Control Scales
• Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons &
stories
• Self-Actualization Survey
• Self-Disclosure Survey
• Self-Monitoring Survey