Entertainment Weekly's Great and Grating Karaoke Songs
Song
''HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT''
Photo
Artists
Pat Benatar
Great?
True
Blurb
It goes like this: Some tube-topped barfly does a broken-down Britney impersonation, followed by three fake-ID co-eds who barely mouth along to ''Wannabe'' and a peroxide queen who croaks out a country song you've never heard of. And then, just when all the girls at your table are hanging their heads in shame at their fellow women, up comes the girl with the rocksteady voice who spits out this classic like a knockedout tooth and gets free drinks for the rest of the night. Be that girl. No song guarantees a fullroom sing-along quite like this slice of teen-pop perfection. Do it alone or as a group sing; as long as you nail that key change, the night is yours. When you've had enough of golden oldies and Top 40 jingles, make like it's 1993 and yodel along to this crowd-pleaser (there won't be a closed mouth in the bar when you get to the ''Heeeeeeeey'' chorus). Just leave the Dr. Seuss hat at home. Not everybody likes karaoke (or sunlight or puppies); it's really their
08/30/2009
''I WANT IT THAT WAY''
The Backstreet Boys
True
''WHAT'S UP''
4 Non Blondes
True
''BASKET CASE''
Green Day
True
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Entertainment Weekly's Great and Grating Karaoke Songs
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Entertainment Weekly's Great and Grating Karaoke Songs
puppies); it's really their loss. But even your friend who thinks he's too cool to croon will wrestle the mic away from you for this pop-punk headbanger. Just relax and pat yourself on the back for being such a giver. ''UMBRELLA'' Rihanna
True
It's always a disappointment when your favorite pop song turns out to be a karaoke catastrophe. Not so with this summer jam. The melody is easy and full of attitude, and the chorus, with its nonsense noises, is infinitely sing-alongable. Plus, if it's rainy, you can totally grab somebody's umbrella as a prop. And who doesn't love props? Obvious? Sure. Lame? Maybe. But this tune is lite-FM brilliance, and the ladies love Billy Joel. (Psst....guys secretly do, too.) Because you can't possibly be worse than Teri Hatcher.
''UPTOWN GIRL''
Billy Joel
True
''BEFORE HE CHEATS''
Carrie Underwood
True
''JUMP IN THE LINE''
Harry Belafonte
True
Remember that song from Beetlejuice that made Winona Ryder shimmy up to the ceiling? It's an outof-nowhere winner that makes for a perfect party song — everyone likes clapping, right? Try it and
08/30/2009
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Entertainment Weekly's Great and Grating Karaoke Songs
thank us later. ''ALL OR NOTHING'' O-Town
True
You might think you don't like this song. You might even think you don't know it. But trust us, dear reader, you are wrong on both counts. It might not have the name recognition of the average karaoke standard, but this power ballad from teen-pop tossoffs O-Town has a killer chorus — and a showstopping key change — that Bon Jovi wishes he had come up with. Plus, it's like three octaves lower than Bon Jovi, a plus for those of us over the age of 12. Sometimes you've just gotta go full throttle. From the Meat Loaf-ian theatrics of the melody (the song was written by Loaf's Bat Out of Hell collaborator, Jim Steinman) to the brilliantly over-the-top lyrics (''There were nights of endless pleasure/It was more than any laws allow...'') this histrionic juggernaut is a safe bet for a standing ''O'' regardless of how ''good'' a singer you are — as long as you don't back down from it. Are you insane?! Do you have any idea how long this song is? It is eightand-a-half minutes long. Do you even want to listen
08/30/2009
''IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW''
Celine Dion
True
''AMERICAN PIE''
Don McLean
False
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Entertainment Weekly's Great and Grating Karaoke Songs
to yourself for that long? ''SUMMER NIGHTS'' Grease soundtrack
False
You know what it's like when you see a couple on the street in matching puffy-paint T-shirts, and you can tell they think it's totally cute but really everyone is just embarrassed for them? Yeah... Congratulations, you were first soprano in your school choir. You're the best karaoke singer in your group of friends, and you hum along to Mariah all the time on your iPod without missing a note. Okay, now sit down, we have some bad news: You cannot do this song. Seriously. Tackling this lung-crusher might seem like a fun challenge, but three minutes, five octaves, and one 10second note later, you will realize that you did not conquer ''Vision of Love.'' ''Vision of Love'' conquered you. If somebody tries to make you sing ''Rehab,'' just take a cue from Amy and tell them ''No, no, no.'' Sure, the chorus is catchy, but the song is way too long — not to mention a total bore without Winehouse's gin-pickled vocal cords on the track.
''VISION OF LOVE''
Mariah Carey
False
''REHAB''
Amy Winehouse
False
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Entertainment Weekly's Great and Grating Karaoke Songs
''HURT'' Nine Inch Nails
False
Do we even need to explain this one? Okay, A) graphic language makes it inappropriate for the Irishpub crowd, B) long instrumental stretches are no fun for anyone, and C) is karaoke night really the best time to whip out your dormant teen angst? No, it's not. Danger. You think you know how this song goes, but the verses are full of hopscotching notes and easily confused lyrics that have left many an innocent singer mute at the mic. If you know what you're doing, then proceed with caution. Otherwise...to the left, to the left. A perfect example of a beloved single that makes a bad karaoke choice. Blondie always gives good beat, but the lyrics of this disco hit are mush and the melody is borderline catatonic. Debbie Harry pulled it off, but that's only because she's Debbie Harry. Hey, dude. You with the glasses, pretending like your girlfriend forced you to put in a song when secretly you've been dying to let your inner folkie loose in front of a captive audience? Nobody wants to listen to six minutes of your best Dylan
08/30/2009
''IRREPLACEABLE''
Beyoncé
False
''HEART OF GLASS''
Blondie
False
''LIKE A ROLLING STONE''
Bob Dylan
False
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Entertainment Weekly's Great and Grating Karaoke Songs
your best Dylan impression. Save it for the shower. ''HOLLABACK GIRL'' Gwen Stefani
False
Let me hear you say, ''This song is repetitive. R-E-PE-T-I-T-I-V-E.''
''SWEET CAROLINE''
Neil Diamond
False
Remember how TRL used to retire videos when they'd been on the countdown too long even if people kept voting for them? Let's face it: It's time to put this one to bed. We love that this bar anthem is karaoke catnip for mic-shy fratboys, but there's only so many times you can hear a roomful of dressed-down bankers chant, ''Dah dah daaaah!'' before you want to track Caroline down and kill her in her sleep.
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