Immortals, Enigmas, Women and Self-Confidence
Women aren’t as big of a mystery as we make them out to be. Sure, they’re complicated at times,
but a reasonable cause - not merely feminine, but human – can explain all of their actions that leave
us scratching our heads. They kiss us then, suddenly, start acting prude. They look at us seductively
then, shortly after, give us a quizzical look. They beg to know what’s on our mind, then, after we tell
them, we take cover, shield our faces during a chaotic cacophony of cries, and wonder what
happened to her promise, I swear, I won’t be mad.
Women can be manipulative, standoffish and plain weird, but they are not a mystery. If the idea
that they are such a thing infects our thoughts, we have no chance. Thinking of women as mysteries
and not as women is a dangerous thing. Trying to understand a woman is hard, but trying to
understand a mystery is ego shattering and detrimental to the self-confidence that is a fundamental
part of men. Our self-confidence enables us to approach the women we are attracted to and initiate
conversation. It allows us to place our hand on the small of their back and pull them into us. It’s the
cause of that first kiss that makes her malleable and willing to go a step further.
If we misunderstand women’s prudence, or even shyness, as mystery, we immediately put them on
a pedestal. And women aren’t meant to be put on a pedestal. They are meant to be loved, fill our
sexual desires, and be treated as equals. Men and women operate on the same level –
humanness. Women, like men, continuously pick from the bag of emotions humans are
granted. There is no mysterious bag, decorated with sapphires and supreme goddesses, designated
solely for women. In other words, there’s no aspect or action of a woman that can’t be understood.
We need to stop viewing women as sexual impenetrable immortals who are unattainable when we
don’t achieve the results we want. There’s a reason why she walked away and left you alone at that
bar. Maybe she was shy and just too nervous to stand still and talk. Maybe she was raised by overly
protective parents who lectured her about the intentions of men and she was taking
caution. Maybe she was toying with you, playing especially hard to get even after you made her
laugh and stare down into the midori sour you bought her. Whatever the reason, note this: no
unsolvable mystery or unconquerable goddess walked away from you – an opportunity did.
I reject the idea of women being frightfully enigmatic because I was once a guy who loved, but was
tortured by, beautiful women. I didn’t understand their gestures and reactions to what I said. I
thought they had secret agendas that were too complex for me to fathom. It got to the point where
I wouldn’t dare approach a girl I was the slightest bit attracted to. If, by chance, I did run into one of
these girls and was pressured to talk to them, I would immediately blush and act as if I was an
unworthy foot soldier appearing before the queen of a land who symbolized power and beauty.
I call this immature idea of women I had an idea of the past, but, I notice, at times, it infiltrates my
present mind. There are times I engage in flirtatious conversation with a woman I am attracted to,
attempt to do and say all the right things, yet catch myself in a state of idolization. For instance, in a
public place, the woman may see many of her very attractive friends, both men and women. She
will introduce me to each of her suave friends and introduce me in a strange way, like I am just some
random person, not a man she has enjoyed taking full interest in. Here is where I start to lose a little
confidence and here, in the context of this specific example, I realize that my idolization of the
woman and my dwindling self-confidence are one in the same thing.
The idolization and intimidating mysteriousness we attach to beautiful women is, quite simply, an
obvious sign of our ...to continue reading the rest of the article please, click here.