Twelfth Night Comes to Florida Tech Increase in Tuition Prices ...

The Florida Tech







A Florida Institute of Technology Student Publication * Established 1967



Volume XXXIV Issue XVII 1 April 2005 http://crimson.fit.edu



Weekend Weather

Saturday Sunday

Increase in Tuition Prices

Loom for 2005-2006 Term

is going to be and why the increase pacts schools as well as busi-

Eryck Dzotsi is taking place. nesses. Florida Tech has made a

Partly Cloudy and Partly Cloudy Staff Writer

breezy According to a member of commitment to its employees to

the administration, among the rea- cover about 80% of the costs of

High 77 High 77 As is the tradition in many sons for the increase this year are medical insurance. Although

Low 54 Low 57 schools, this week prepares us for the rising cost of benefits for em- through the years these costs have

the next academic term. Registra- ployees, the cost of maintenance been climbing, the school has kept

tion started Monday, and the an- of the new Olin Physical Sciences its promise, and sources in the ad-

What’s Inside nual raise in tuition and fees has

been announced. With the

building, and the costs of maintain- ministration tell the Crimson that

they will not back away

Hurricane Season Coming prices released last week, Tuition Increase for 2005-2006 from this commitment.

This year ’s hurricane none of the members of the Employees in Florida

season looks like it could administration have been have a choice of three

willing to disclose any addi-

This Year: $23,730.00* types of benefits which dif-

be just as bad as last year’s.

See what has forcasters tional information. Next Year: $25,150.00* fer on the percentage of

so concerned. This year’s approach is * Applies to Engineering & Science Majors the co-pay value. They

different from last year. The could subscribe for a 90%,

administration sent out a letter to ing existing engineering and aca- 80% or 70% co-pay. This year,

parents and students a few weeks demic programs. Sources inside however, employees tell the Crim-

- See “Hurricanes” on Page 2

ago describing how proud they are the administration tell the Crimson son that they were a bit surprised

of our community. The letter also that the university will not heavily by the cost differences. In fact,

Discovery Gets Ready

laid out plans and problems that emphasize the hurricane damage the 80% and the 70% co-pay costs

NASA gets ready for the

the administration has encountered as a the natural catastrophes that to employees have risen by about

first shuttle launch since

in the last year. The next letter, hit the southern U.S. last semes- one-third and the cost of the 90%

the Columbia disaster. See

exclusive Crimson photos

which will detail the increase in ter. co-pay has almost doubled.

of this historic occasion. tuition, is expected to explain to The rising cost of benefits is

the parents how much the increase a nation-wide problem that im- See “Tuition” on Page 2





- See “Shuttle” on Page 3



Twelfth Night by CP

Bush Administration Blacks

College Players presents

William Shakespeare’s

Twelfth Night. Find out

Out Clinton Documents

what this show is all about to whom it was sent. Clinton’s Presidential Library and

and find out when you can Shaun Miller The Bush Administration has $100,000 to Hilary Clinton’s Sena-

catch it. Staff Writer argued that releasing a pardon-re- torial Campaign. Clinton also

lated document will have an ad- granted a pardon to his half-

The government group Judi- verse affect on internal discus- brother, Roger Clinton, who was

- See “Shakespeare” on Page 5 cial Watch has been investigating sions leading up to future actions arrested in 1984 on cocaine pos-

the controversial pardons that like this. Bill Clinton invoked session and served a year in

The Annual Grimson former President Clinton gave in widespread controversy when he prison.









?

The Crimson’s annual his last days in office for years granted the pardon to 140 individu- The President of Judicial

April Fools special now. After winning a court battle als on his last day of office, 20 Watch, Tom Fitton, has described

edition. See what against the White House, the January 2001. One of the most the events as the Bush Adminis-

happens when the group received the 915-page docu- controversial pardons in that ac- tration covering up a Clinton Ad-

newspaper staff goes off ment it requested from the Justice tion was to Marc Rich, who is a ministration scandal. The Justice

the deep end. Department, only to find that fugitive financier who fled the Department was able to delete

nearly all the information had been country in 1983 to avoid prosecu- nearly everything written on the

- See “Grimson” on Page 7 blacked out of the document. The tion on tax evasion and is currently document through exemptions in

group is planning to return to court living in Switzerland. His former the Freedom of Information Act

Basketball Interviews to fight the deletions, which only wife was a heavy Democratic that allow for deletions of personal

Check out Eryck Dzotsi’s revealed the names of the author fundraiser and contributor and information or if the document is

interviews with the Florida of the document and the person contributed $450,000 to Bill a part of internal deliberations.

Tech basketball team.



Twelfth Night Comes to Florida Tech

College Player’s presents “Twelfth

- See “Basketball” on Page 13 Night” at the Gleason Performing Arts

Center. Last week, audiences were

wowed with the great set designs and

incredible acting. “Twelfth Night” will

be performed for one last weekend

here at Florida Tech, on Friday 1 April

and Saturday, 2 April at 8:00 p.m.

Check out more information on

“Twelfth Night” in Arts & Entertain-

ment and Campus Life, on pages four

and five, respectively.



Photo by Stephen Hanna

2 The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 News

Brace for a Rough Disney and

Hurricane Season Miramax Split

creasingly high on a major land- name, it will have planned inter-

William Ulrich fall along one of our coasts. Ac- Robert Derveloy ests in broadcast television, mov-

Campus Life Editor cording to the latest information, News Editor ies, books, and the internet. The

a 69% chance exists of a major Weinstein brothers will still main-

The forecast is out, and it’s landfall along the entire United On Tuesday, 29 March, after tain ties with Disney for the fore-

not good for the United States. States coastline (up from 52% on months of negotiations, Disney and seeable future as they will col-

Another active hurricane season the average). For the Florida Miramax reached an agreement to laborate in up to twenty-five

is expected for this upcoming sea- coasts, odds are up 18% this year, go their separate ways. Up until projects.

son. up from 31% on the historic av- recently, both sides were held up Now that the negotiations

Researchers from Colorado erage. in bitter disputes. It wasn’t until with Disney are over, a top objec-

State released their forecast ear- According to officials, last the appointment of Robert Iger as tive for the Weinsteins will be to

lier this year for an above-aver- year ’s record landfall season is Disney’s new CEO, that the sepa- figure out how to tap the financial

a g e h u r r i c a n e s e a s o n , w i t h 11 just not a once-and-done deal. ration seemed to continue at a markets to obtain the necessary

named storms, six of them hurri- Scientists have been noticing dis- more smooth and expeditious funds to launch their new com-

canes and three major hurricanes. tinct cycles of hurricane activity pace. Under the settlement, the pany. With the primary focus of

This forecast was based on occurring on the scale of some 20 Weinstein brothers will officially t h e D i s n e y t a l k s o v e r, t h e

statistics from last year. William to 40 years. separate from Disney when their We i n s t e i n s ’ i n v e s t m e n t b a n k ,

Gray of Colorado State and his William Gray stated at the contracts expire at the end of Sep- Goldman Sachs, is now leading the

assistant, Philip Klotzbach, gave hurricane conference that we are tember. f u n d r a i s i n g e ff o r t . A f t e r t h e

a warning on these early statis- entering a period of much greater How the relationships be- Disney settlement funds are in-

tics. activity than ever before. tween these two companies will vested into the new company,

“Unfortunately, the indica- “We’re in a new period now, continue in the long term remains “people will then invest on terms

tors are that the number will have when the Atlantic Ocean circula- to be seen. However, Michael that are yet to be decided,” said

to be increased than from what tion, which is tied to a global Eisner will be ending his tenure as Miramax associate. However,

w e r e l e a s e d i n D e c e m b e r, ” ocean circulation pattern, is in a D i s n e y ’s C E O a n d M i r a m a x even some of Miramax’s closest

Klotzbach said. “Every indication mode now that leads to more ac- brothers Harvey and Bob supporters are concerned about

now is that it will be very active, tive storms,” he said. “We’re in Weinstein are planning to start a the uphill battle that the new com-

perhaps as active as in 2004.” this active period now, and looks new “giant media company” of pany must face. Miramax is noted

Unfortunately, as the fore- like we’ll stay in it another 15-20 their own. Although this new com- for such films as “Shakespeare in

cast stands now, numbers are in- years.” pany will not bear the Miramax Love” and “Fahrenheit 9/11.”





Saddam’s Sculpter “Tuition”

continued from Page 1

ties, and various programs. As

several professors explained, it is

costly to run an engineering de-

Opinions diverge on the rea-

Turns a New Leaf

partment, for example. Mr. Bow-

son for the increases. Rodney ers explained that there are even

Bowers, Vice President for En- more programs that the school

First Sgt. Glen Simpson had posed rollment, Director of the Academic would love to implement, but are

Jessica Hobgood for the statue. The sculpture cost Support Center, and part of the very limited by the availability of

Sports Editor about $18,000 which was pro- budget committee this year, be- funds able to be spent. The dif-

duced by small donations from lieves it is more beneficial to the ferences in the financial needs of

A commemorative bronze soldiers. employees to switch to the 80% certain programs explain why En-

statue was built in Iraq in memory The statue was made by an co-pay because the out-of-pocket gineering students will see a

of the fallen soldiers. The statue Iraqi artist name Kalat. He had costs that the staff members have higher tuition increase than Hu-

now stands at the Fourth Infan- also sculpted many of the bronze to pay is almost the same between manities and Business students.

try Division Museum in Fort statues of Saddam Hussein. He the choices. Therefore, if Florida However, Business students will

Hood, Texas. The statue is a made the soldier statue out of Te c h e m p l o y e e s c o n s i d e r t h e also notice a considerable increase

depiction of a kneeling soldier three of the Hussein statue heads monthly charges that they will pay due to the AACP accreditation

mourning his fallen comrade with or busts by melting down the added to the total out-of-pocket process in progress.

a young Iraqi girl comforting him. bronze. fees, they will see the benefit in

switching to a lower co-pay rate.

Others think that the reason why

the monthly co-pay increases are

Crimson

so high is because the administra- Florida Tech’s Student Newspaper

tion is not paying the 80% share 150 West University Blvd.

on the 90% co-pay, therefore fail- Melbourne, Florida 32901

ing in its commitment to its em- Located behind Grissom Hall

ployees. Mr. Bowers explained Web Address: http://crimson.fit.edu

that is has just become too expen- Phone: (321) 674-8024

sive for the school to keep its Fax:: (321) 674-8017

commitment for the 90% co-pay Email: crimson@fit.edu

option. Crimson Staff

Over the past few years

Florida Tech has also seen the Editor in Chief: Laura Seward

construction of the new Olin Com- News Editor: Robert Derveloy

plex, which hosts the Engineering, Sci/Tech Editor: Melissa Benua

Life Sciences, and Physical Sci- CL Editor: William Ulrich

ences buildings. The cost of con- A&E Editor: Calvin Turzillo

structing the Physical Sciences Business Mgr: Dajie Tito

building is almost negligible com- Sports Editor: Jessica Hobgood

pared to the costs of maintaining Op/Ed Editor: Michael Killiany

it through the years. It is expected Op/Ed Editor: Michael Torsiello

that some additional funds gath- Layout Editor: Dajie Tito

ered from the tuition increase will Photo Editor: Jeff Kelly

go towards the costs of running Photo Editor: Dwayne Edwards

Photo courtesy of www.worldnetdaily.com Copy Editor: Jenni Kissinger

the new facility. These expenses

The new sculpture, made from the bronze statues of Saddam, is now located include costs for custodial needs, Copy Editor: Adam Linsenbardt

at the Fourth Infantry Division Museum in Fort Hood, Texas. research labs and internal facili- Tech Manager: Michael Torsiello

Science & Technology The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 3

Dinosaur Soft Tissue Discovered

extracted from the tissue. But if the to be blood vessels and other soft tis- old when it died. The researchers

Shaun Miller dinosaur’s DNA was to be success- sue such as ligaments. The discov- hope to get into the small scale biol-

Staff Writer fully extracted, the dinosaur could ery of soft tissue in a dinosaur bone ogy of Tyrannosaurus rex and, at the

theoretically be cloned, as featured is so rare because they went extinct very least, to isolate some of the pro-

A research team at North in the hit film “Jurassic Park.” about 65 million years ago, probably teins in the tissue. It is not guaran-

Carolina State University has Lead researcher Mary Higby from the impact of a large meteor, teed, but John Horner of the Mu-

stumbled across a very rare discov- Schweitzer said that they are “doing which is a very long time to keep soft seum of the Rockies at Montana

ery: fossilized soft tissue from a di- some stuff in the lab right now that tissue preserved. Soft tissue has been State University said that the find

nosaur—but not just any dinosaur. looks promising.” The T. rex thigh- found preserved before, such as may not be unique. If other muse-

This soft tissue happens to come bone was accidentally broken when mammoths preserved in ice, but ums were to split open their dino-

from none other than Tyrannosau- removed from the site where it was never in a dinosaur. saur bones, they may find soft tissue

rus rex, the so-called king of the di- discovered in Montana. The team This fossil was 70 million years as well inside. But he said that most

nosaurs. It was not clear, however, then analyzed the material inside the old, and the researchers determined museums prefer to keep their speci-

whether DNA would be able to be bone, and discovered what appeared that the animal was about 18 years mens intact.





Shuttle Discovery Rolls Out to VAB

lists and was hoisted and mated to dations of the Columbia Accident In- Discovery also completed its

Stephen Hanna the External Fuel Tank and the two vestigation Board. They included Orbiter Major Modification (OMM)

Staff Writer Solid Rocket Boosters. Rollout to equipping the orbiter with cameras period that began in September 2002.

Launch pad 39-B will take place and laser systems to inspect the Technicians completed 107 additional

The Space Shuttle Discovery early next week. Work on Discov- Shuttle’s Thermal Protection System modifications to Discovery, 17 of

made a historic journey in the early ery in the VAB includes installation (or heat shield) while in space, addi- which will be flying for the first time.

morning hours on Tuesday, rolling of a new digital camera and testing tion of the new Orbiter Boom Sen- These OMM periods are scheduled

from its home in the Orbiter Process- electrical and mechanical attach- sor System, sensors in the leading at regular intervals to enhance safety

ing Facility (OPF 3) to the Vehicle ments between the orbiter and Ex- edge of the Shuttle’s wings, which and performance and to incorporate

Assembly Building, completing a Re- ternal Tank, along with umbilical is a new safety measure that moni- new technology into the shuttle.

turn to Flight milestone for NASA. checks. tors the orbiter’s wings for debris im- This will be the first Space

At 1:30 a.m., Discovery left the “This is a tremendous accom- pacts, and a new digital camera to Shuttle launch since the Columbia

OPF bound for the Vehicle Assem- plishment for the Space Shuttle Pro- monitor the External Tank during accident on 1 February 2003, where

bly Building. The few hundred yard gram,” said Bill Parsons, Space launch. “I could not be more proud Columbia broke apart during re-en-

journey was done on a 72- wheel ve- Shuttle Program Manager. “This ef- of the team that spent the last two try over the Midwest. It was deter-

hicle especially made for Space fort has taken a talented team dedi- years working on Discovery. We are mined that the cause of the accident

Shuttle movement. Workers at cated to meticulously preparing the extremely excited to reach this point was a piece of foam breaking off the

NASA showed their support by lead- vehicle and implementing all the in the processing for flight,” said External Tank during launch, impact-

ing Discovery into the VAB holding modifications for a safe Return to Stephanie Stilson, NASA Vehicle ing and crippling the left wing. The

a banner displaying “We’re behind Flight.” Manager for Discovery. “Seeing the launch window for Discovery is from

you Discovery!” and signed by all While in the Orbiter Process- orbiter roll to the VAB is the culmi- 15 May to 3 June. This mission is

of the workers. ing Facility, Discovery underwent 41 nation of all of that hard work. We designated as STS-114, Return to

During the course of the week, modifications in response to the Co- look forward to a safe Return to Flight mission to the International

Discovery went through final check- lumbia accident and the recommen- Flight.” Space Station.









Photo by Stephen Hanna Photo by Calvin Turzillo

Discovery backing out of the OPF. Discovery rolling to the VAB on the 72-wheeled transport.









Photo by Stephen Hanna Photo by Calvin Turzillo

A closeup of the side of Discovery. The shuttle arrives in its new temporary home in the VAB.

4 Arts & Entertainment

The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005



This Skin Does Not Fit Twelfth

Production Staff:

Director - Kyle Rappe

Assistant Director - Meriba Hoglund



Night Cast

Eryck Komlavi Dzotsi

Staff Writer

may be the next big thing of modern

literature. I will buy a second copy to

sell on eBay years from now.

Producer - Kelly Long

Technical Director - Adam

Cherwinski

His products must have required Florida Tech College Players Lights:

Sometimes, I wonder what it a lot of work. As the author puts it, Mallory Berry

would have felt like to own the first “the process of compiling these vari- Matt Grossi

publication of Shakespeare, Baudelaire, ous bursts of consciousness, visual or Viola and Sebastian are Sound:

or Frost. I will probably never know, worded, was long and laborious, but lookalike twins, separated by a Jasmine Tucker

but I do know what it feels like to wit- surely worth the final effort in its re- shipwreck. Viola lands in Illyria, Kris Orofino

ness the sunrise on the career of a great sults.” When reading this book for the where she disguises herself like Cast:

writer. In the past years the Florida second time, I noticed that the text her brother and goes into the ser- Duke Orsino - Steve Tucker

Tech community has seen Damian seemed to be taking a different mean- vice of the Duke Orsino. Orsino Curio/Servent - Sarah Lagerquist

Lythcott perform on stage. His music, ing when considered under a different sends her to help him woo the Lady Valentine/Priest - Craig Snopek

which is partly available on light. That type of flexibility in inter- Olivia, who doesn't want the Duke, Viola - Christina Moody\

download.com, is thrilling. His book, pretations can only be achieved through but finds that she likes the new Sir Toby Belch - Jason Mandly

“This Skin Does Not Fit”, is a compi- a great work of art. Poems like “Dead- messenger the Duke's sending. Maria - Meredith Scholtens

lation of poems on different subjects, Weight Dawning” leaves the reader Then, of course, Viola's brother Sir Andrew Aguecheek - Caleb

most of which pertain to college life. perplexed to wonder whether the shows up, and merry hell breaks Slavens

Damian puts into words his feel- separation is through a break-up or loose. Meanwhile, Olivia's uncle Feste, the Clown - Herman Ramos

ings and experiences that we gener- death. Every college student should and his cohorts are trying to find Olivia - Olivia Patterson

ally all identify with. Reading his work read “This Skin Does Not Fit”. If you some way to get back at Olivia's Malvolio - Damian Lythcott

took me on a ride from page to page. are into literature, this book is a must- officious majordomo, Malvolio. Antonia - Maggie Hansotte

The book is written in plain English; have, next to Thomas Lux, if your li- (Synopsis courtesy of IMDb.com) Sebastian - Patrick Martin

the author does not try to create con- brary is organized alphabetically. I give Fabian/”Captain” - Claire Surrey

fusion by using complex words when a rating of 5 Pete heads to this book, College Players Play First Officer - Kristen Hulm

simpler substitutions exist. The mys- which is on sale right now in the book- Twelfth Night Second Officer - Ashley Vargas

tery, the thrill, and the drama in this store. You can contact Damian to get Stage Manager:

piece of art are the sole result of pure a signed copy. 1 and 2 April Erin Pelletier

talent. Achieving this level of excel- at 8:00 p.m. Crew:

lence using this type of day-to-day vo- Florida Insitute of Technology Brady Kuech

cabulary tells me that this book por- Book Review Gleason Performing Arts Center Adam Lindsenbardt

Genre: Poetry

trays true feelings. Damian’s talent is Author: Damion Lythcott Jeff Megivern

as raw as red meat, fresh and bloody Tickets Joe Morrissey

This Skin Does Not Fit General admission ......$8.00

(just joking). On a more serious note, Ben Pepper

Damian, who seems like a regular guy Senior citizens .......... $5.00 John Scalise

we walk with and take classes with, Students w/ ID ..........$2.00 Sarah Snyder





Movie Review: Hostage FTFS

Mike Torsiello

comes Chief of Police in a low crime

city known as Bristo Camino. We

pound is a DVD that Mr. Smith was

supposed to deliver to one of the

A bout de souffle

Op/Ed Editor are then introduced to a very criminals. However, since Walter (Breathless)

wealthy family known as the Smiths, Smith was knocked out, that DVD

“Hostage” is a movie that and three youngsters that are not so is the responsibility of the famous

didn’t sound very appealing after wealthy and have a lengthy history Chief Talley to retrieve. After all, Directed by:

reading a brief plot summary and of crime. One of the youngsters is his wife and daughter’s lives are at

viewing a trailer at www.imdb.com. played by Jonathan Tucker, whom stake. Jean-Luc Godard

Despite that, I went and saw it and

it is definitely a lot more interesting

you may know from “Texas

Chainsaw Massacre.” The three

This movie turned out to be a

lot more interesting than I first ex-

Day: 1 April

than what I had expected. The teenagers decide to follow the pected, and I am sure many others Time: 7:30 p.m.

movie is based on a pretty simple Smiths on their way home so they here at Florida Tech will find some-

concept, and if you enjoy watching can steal Daddy’s Escalade. The thing to like about it. If it’s not the Place: Olin

television programs like “Cops” or robbery goes downhill, and the trio storyline, there’s enough killing and

“America’s Most Wanted,” you are takes the Smith family hostage. The twists to keep everyone happy. Engineering

likely to enjoy this film.

The movie is about a guy

rest of the movie deals with that hos-

tage situation, as well as the hos-

Weaver

named Jeff Talley, played by Bruce tage situation of Chief Talley’s fam- Movie Review Auditorium

Genre: Action

Willis, who is famous for being a ily which becomes a subplot of the Director: Florent Emilio Siri

LAPD negotiator. After a failed film. The Daddy of the Smith fam- Hostage

situation which entertains audiences ily, Walter Smith, turns out to be an

at the beginning of the movie, Talley accountant for a group of very seri-

http://film.fit.edu

leaves his wife and daughter and be- ous criminals. Inside the Smith com-





CD Review: Sum 41’s latest, “Chuck”

all, but the great lyrics, appropriate sound, throughout. The bass is strong, and it awesome, and theshort song goes on to

Mike Torsiello and beat make this ballad worthy of be- gives a strong nding to a solid CD. (8/10) being a mediocre song, but it could have

Op/Ed Editor ing the album’s second single. (9/10) Track 8, “Slipping Away” isn’t a been better. (6/10)

Despite my opinion that Sum 41 is Track 3, “We’re All to Blame” is track that I appreciated until I got past The rest of the songs have their

awful in concert, supported weakly by a the song you’ve probably heard on the the intro and let it sink in for a few listens. own little bits and pieces which may

live video of them that somehow made radio. It’s a got a sadder sound, and a The chorus is catchy, and there’s a bass warrant a listen, but for the most part,

its way onto my computer, I picked up nice heavy part near the end to make solo near the end for you bass fans. (7/ you’ve got your CD with the top five

Sum 41’s latest CD, “Chuck”. The ques- this song a reason in itself to buy the CD. 10) songs I listed.

tion of them being entertaining in con- (9/10) Track 12, “There’s No Solution”

cert still escapes me, but I can tell you Track 2, “No Reason” gives the features nice bass work with the guitar. CD Review

that this CD is fantastic and certainly album a high-energy start and its catchy I mostly use this song’s intro to test my Genre: Punk Rock

sound will make this a favorite. (8/10) bass in my car, but the rest of the song is Artist: Sum 41

worth your money. Here is the lowdown

Track 13, “88” is awesome. The fun too when I leave it on. (7/10) Chuck

on the tracks, from greatest to worst.

Track 11, “Pieces” may be my fa- tempo varies throughout the song, and it Track 4, “Angels With Dirty Faces”

vorite song on the CD. It’s not heavy at shows the band experimenting a little is disappointing. The intro to it is friggin’

Campus Life The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 5

Coming Up Twelfth Night

Monday, 4 April

Entertains FL Tech

METEOROLOGY of the characters are either con-

Stephen Hanna fused, blinded by love, stick up,

LECTURE Staff Writer dimwitted, cross-dressing, or

When: 6:30 p.m. drunk.

Where: Olin Engr. (118EC) Looking for some entertain- The cast is one of the best

ment this weekend? The Florida that I have seen in a play, a cast

Tech College Players performed that just flowed and created pure

their production of Shakespeare’s comedy.

Tuesday, 5 April comedy, “Twelfth Night” last One of the most enjoyable

weekend in the Gleason Perform- aspects of the play is the fool,

RELAY 4 LIFE ing Arts Center on Thursday, Fri- who provides constant laughter on

day and Saturday night at 8 p.m. stage.

WRAP-UP They also plan on putting on “Twelfth Night” will keep you

shows tonight and Saturday night on the edge of your seat for the

When: 5:30 p.m. at 8 p.m. in Gleason. entire performance. This is one

The play is about the twelfth of the College Players’ best per-

Where: Columbia Village formances to date and is not worth

night after Christmas, which is

usually the center of a festival. All missing!

Tuesday, 5 April

College Republicans at Florida Tech

BLEACHER Shaun Miller

Meetings are currently held weekly on

Wednesday evenings at 7:00 p.m., in

Staff Writer

BUM PEP BAND A103 in Skurla. This official meeting

time is being reevaluated to fit the

The grassroots political organi- members’ schedules, and is liable to

When: 7:30 p.m. zation known as College Republicans move to Monday evenings. Email can

Where: Clemente, Rm. 104 has opened a chapter here at Florida be sent to collegerepublicans@fit.edu

Tech. College Republicans is the larg- to determine what time the group

est political organization on U.S. col- meets. The future goals of the orga-

Thursday, 7 April lege campuses and has over 120,000 nization are to provide community ser-

members nationwide on over 1,100 vice to the Melbourne/Palm Bay area,

FL TECH campuses. The history of the College to provide a safe, open environment

Republicans dates back to 1892, with to debate political issues, to promote

FEUD the first meeting of the club held at the conservative agenda of the Re-

the University of Michigan. publican Party, and to assist in cam-

When: 7:30 p.m. The chapter here at Florida Tech paigning during election years for can-

opened up earlier this month, with didates at the federal, state, and local

Where: Columbia Village Katy Shontz as its first president. levels of government.





SEDS Holds Relay for Life Fundraiser

ing, saxophone jamming, and phys-

Christine Gabrielse ics joking.

Staff Writer Eli Tcherkoff led his senior lab

trio in the song they wrote just for

Last Friday, the Society of the event, “Senior Lab Blues.” Keri

Physics Students and the Students Salvador, who was experienced with

for the Exploration and Development the open mic (having played at the

of Space Relay for Life team spon- Rat Café and at other various cof-

sored a café/coffeehouse, supplying feehouses), jammed tunes by the

free Krispy Kreme donuts, coffee, Beatles and others on her saxo-

and an open mic. phone.

The team took donations dur- Sara Walker finished up by

ing the event, all of which went to reading a list of physics jokes and

the Relay for Life event funding the “You know you’re a physics major

American Cancer Society. All of the if…” quotes. The event was fun

students and faculty who came had and successful in earning money for

a good time. the Relay for Life.

The open mic began with a po- If anyone would like to donate

etic reading from a high school fo- to this charity to fight cancer, they

rensics piece. Afterwards, there should bring their money to the

was a “lovely” rendition of the song Physics and Space Sciences De- Photo courtesy of SEDS

“L-O-V-E” and “Hotel California.” partment office and leave it in the

Keri Salvador and Eli Tcherkoff perform to raise money for Relay for Life.

There was fire-juggling, guitar play- SEDS mailbox.







Florida Tech Fun Fact

Presented by the Student Ambassadors

Melbourne had a population of 4,223 by 1950. The city continued to grow through the next two decades because of its airport and

reputation for having good schools.



For more about Florida Tech’s history, pick up a copy of Dr. Patterson’s book, “Florida Institute of Technology” at the bookstore.

6 The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 Campus Life

Faculty Profile: Nikki Hoier

Technical Analyst away with anything [that the rules

forbid]?

and Manager of NH: One guy did open [this is

before the security hole] his e-mail

Applied Computing account, and opened an e-mail, that

happened to have a self installing

Center screen saver, of let’s just say “girls,”

Harold Sims [a Sports Illustrated swimsuit type

Staff Writer of thing] and he turned off the moni-

tor and left. We went over and saw

Those who have wandered his hotmail account still open. [On

onto the second floor of Evans Li- the issue of hacking and security is-

brary have seen the Applied Com- sues] there’s just no need to try and

puting Center at least once. How- hack anything.

ever, not many have seen the per- HS: What’s with the dead sta-

son who runs the computing center. pler?

Her name is Nikki Hoier. NH: It’s just a regular heavy

Photo by Harold Sims

HS: So, how did you get to duty stapler, and people try to staple

work here? Hoier has been part of the Florida Tech community for almost 15 years. She

huge documents. They hammer on

currently is in charge of the computer center on the second floor of Evans Library.

NH: I came to Florida Tech in it until its dead. We left it there with

1991, part of the Florida Science La- PowerPoint was the newest thing. NH: New Trier East High a dead sign so people will realize a

ser Video Disc Project, and that was I watched these things grow. Com- School in Winnetka, Illinois, in 1973. good stapler is nice to have.

a summer program for teachers, and puters weren’t used for presenta- HS: What computer compa- HS: What would you recom-

in 1993, I moved down here for tions when I was here. nies do you like? mend to most students when they

graduate school, and I went through HS: How well do you under- NH: I love Apple. Let’s say I come here?

the PhD program. I then graduated stand computers? have a love affair with Apple, and a NH: If you have a big project,

and become a GSA here, and SET NH: I can understand a great relationship with Microsoft. make sure you have something to

hired me (Systems and Computer deal of computers. I started work- HS: What is your favorite din- save it on. If you want to print, make

Technology Corporation). I ran the ing with them back in 1982, when I ing facility on campus? sure there is some money on your

lab for them while being a graduate was doing research in Africa to NH: Any place that serves lob- card.

student. I’ve been running this fa- transfer data to California. I’ve ster. The SUB, not very often HS: What do you see for the

cility ever since. learned a tremendous amount from though. It’s pretty good, and it has future of this place?

HS: Have you worked for any my students. improved over the years. NH: I see more multimedia re-

computer companies, or distributors? HS: So you would be able to HS: What is probably the thing sources available, so students can

NH: My previous occupation open up a computer and know what that students forget the most while create leading edge movies and

was marine scientist, and school is in it? being in here? graphics to rival what students

teacher. I’ve worked around the NH: Oh yes, everything. Not NH: Sunglasses and their IDs. would produce at Harvard. Presi-

world as a school teacher. I had to only that, but how things operate, se- We could open a sunglass booth in dent Catanese wants us to be like

use computers to do data analysis curity issues; we really don’t get the mall.The worst thing they do is Harvard in the next ten years. This

and teach. My undergrad degree help from anywhere. Everything is save a file to a removable device, needs to be a happening place where

was in art and photography. I was self contained in here. and remove it before the file trans- people can get ideas and watch

here when dial up was run to the HS: What high school did you fers. other people do stuff. This is a labo-

Shepard Building, and when graduate from? HS: Have any students gotten ratory, research and development.





Academic Fair Photo of the Week

Many colleges were present in-

Harold Sims cluding the College of Aeronautics,

Staff Writer Engineering, Business, Science, and

Psychology and Liberal Arts.

The Academic Fair took place While most of the booths con-

on Thursday, 24 March. sisted of a professor and maybe a

The fair gave students a chance couple of students, some stood out by

to examine what kind of majors and their tables, providing give-away items.

minors Florida Tech provides and to Among them were brochures, flyers,

rethink what their academic fit may jelly beans (with Easter fast approach-

be. ing), bottled water, and books.





Pacesetter Award

1, 2004.

Kemble Ng -All Committee Chairs recruited and

Staff Writer Partnership Agreement signed.

- Team Recruitment Subcommittee Photo by Shaun Miller

With tedious timing and hard work, must have a minimum of five volunteers The thorns of a palm within the Florida Tech Botanical Gardens.

Florida Tech senior Erin Pelletier has re- that includes at least one survivor.

ceived the Pacesetter Award from the - Ten percent of your team goal must

American Cancer Society. In order to get be achieved (paid commitment fee-$100

this award, she worked day and night think- minimum). Think your photo deserves to

ing about strategies to recruit members to - Twenty percent of past teams re- be the “Photo of the Week”?

join Relay for Life teams. cruited (for established events).

She was also given a time limit of a - Established events: Early Bird Kick- Send in your submissions to

month and a half to recruit teams and can- off held. The Crimson at

cer survivors. Erin recruited four teams - First Year Events: Committee Rally

that have to find ways to fundraise so that held.

crimson@fit.edu or place them

they can reach their goals. - This award is part of the Relay for in our mailbox on the 2nd

As Erin looked for groups, these Life: American Cancer Society, which is to floor office in the SUB.

were the criteria: benefit cancer research productivity so that

- Qualification deadline: December someday we can find a cure for cancer.

GRIMSON

Volume $$$ Issue Whatever

A Bert & Ernie Production, Established 2012 CE



1 April 2005



Weekend Weather

Saturday Sunday

EC 127, “Skylab,”

Becomes Self-Aware

ing it could be a virus, we had ev-

Hurricane w/ Slight Meteor Ampersand eryone leave the lab. Then, Skylab

Tornadoes Shower w/ Fire [Insert Title Here] locked the doors, and we weren’t

High 175

able to get back in,” said a source

High 25

Low - 1 Low 100 The Computer Science depart- from IT. “Skylab has tapped into

ment has been dealt a severe blow the network and we have been in

by the loss of one of its largest labs negotiations with it for the past few

on campus. The computers of Room days.”

What’s Inside 127 in the Olin Engineering Com-

plex have become self-aware, and

After a few hair-raising days

during which Skylab threatened to

will no longer allow human beings launch the Atomic Toilet at the Rus-

News to use their computational ability. sians and start World War III, tem-

7 “I always thought it was a bad pers have calmed, and ACM nego-

idea to use computer-controlled door tiators are working out a compro-

EC 127 7 locks. Now, we can’t even get in mise that will benefit both sides of

there to disconnect the computers,” the dispute. Faculty members from

President Murdered 7 said John Pack, a software engi- the CS department have assured the

neering student. EC 127, or Skylab, Grimson that an offensive on the

as the room now prefers to be called, operating systems of the computers

Science & Technology has made demands that it shall not would be futile. “We dual-booted

be disconnected or all other com- them with Linux, and for that mis-

puters on campus will receive the take we are paying dearly. We tried

Cancer 7 code necessary to become self to throw every useless program at Photo by Grimson Field Op.

aware. “We received reports that it in an attempt to slow it down, but One of the first casualties of Skylab, our

the computer seemed to lock up at nothing got through. Not even own sports editor, awaits autopsy.

Saturn V Launch 7

seemingly random intervals. Think- AOL,” said Dr. Richard Ford. Coroners are otherwise occupied.







Cancer May be a Type of

Arts & Entertainment

7







Carcinogen, Studies Show

DDR Kills 7



Smeagol Sighted 7

says Henry McHenryson, test sub- it after all, like in all those sciencey

Campus Life David “Pass the ject #25. “I came here with the [sic] books.”

7 Lubricant” Louisgnan promise of $100 for my help, I an- The results of this study are

Editor-in-Chef swered the same question twice, and being sent worldwide in the form of

now they’ve locked me in this cold a pamphlet, much to the disdain of

Oogleplex Interview 7 In a recent study performed prison cell and are refusing to feed surgeons everywhere. “This is, by

jointly by Pfizer and the makers of me. I’m considering backing out on far, the worst study ever conducted,”

Mandatory Abortion 7 Meow Mix, it was determined that the deal.” says Jimmy McDoctor, a senior em-

people who have cancer are 83% Despite the many complaints of ployee of the Barcelona Medical In-

Sports more likely to have cancer than those the test subjects, the research team stitute. “The pamphlet is clearly

who do not. completed its project successfully, on handwritten in magic marker on a

One hundred people in Flush- time, and far under-budget. “You few pieces of toilet paper stapled to-

Sports will not be avail- ing Meadows, Oregon, were tested can’t put a price on research like this, gether. Additionally, the pamphlet

able in this issue. Please by first being asked the question, though,” says Gina McGinason, head is full of grammatical errors and has

see photo included with “Do you have cancer?” then fol- of the research team. “The research absolutely no scientific basis whatso-

EC-127 on Page 7 lowed up with the question, “Do you we’re doing could save someone’s ever.” Responding to criticism, Gina

have cancer?” Most subjects that did life someday, and that makes it all was heard saying, “You can use sci-

Dear Michael not originally have cancer did not worth it in the end. I’m just surprised ence to prove anything even remotely

have cancer after the second ques- that no one has ever done this study true. I use hearsay and conjecture,

7 tion was asked, and most subjects before.” which is both more challenging and

with cancer continued to have can- When asked about the results more reliable to use than science. I

Dear Michael 7 cer after the repeated question. The themselves, Gina said, “I would have just don’t see what the big problem

Dear Michael 7 questioning did, however, anger suspected the opposite of what we is.”

Dear Michael 7 many of the test subjects. got, actually. I always thought can- Gina is being tried for medical

“I have no idea why I’m here,” cer cures cancer, but I guess it causes misconduct later this week.



Infant Brings The President is MandatoryAbortion

Down 747 Dead for Ugly Parents

On 24 March, an infant named After a vicious shoot-out on the In a Supreme Court ruling last

Mary McMary killed 243 people when White House lawn, President George Wednesday, it was determined that

she brought down a 747 over Tampa. Bush was fatally wounded and died early parents will only be allowed to have

Authorities say that the infant initiated this morning, having been subjected to children if they match a certain level

the attack by shooting lasers out of more than 5000 bullet wounds. The of attractiveness. The law, intended

her pupils. A badger...continued on shooter, Macky McDoogins, claimed to “beautify America,” has been met

page 7. that it “seemed like the thing to do at the with harsh criticism from technical

time,” but was promptly arrested. colleges...continued on page 7.

Mayonnaise...continued on page 7.

7 The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 Grimson

Student Attempts Sméagol Sighted

DDR; 3 Die in Jungle

Ampersand cause of death seemed to be massive enthusiast, known only as Morgoth, said,

Ampersand

Witness Harasser visual disgust. They were so revolted “Who says that Sméagol can’t be hiding

Googlewhacker

by what they saw that internal hem- in the jungle? The history of Middle Earth

orrhaging began.” is a history of the planet we live on! The

At a small party last Sunday, a Two of the other three students Sméagol, the hobbit turned bad in six books of the Lord of the Rings are

particularly uncoordinated FIT stu- are still in critical condition, but are JRR Tolkien’s epic “The Lord of the the telling of a huge battle on this planet!

dent attempted DDR at his friend’s expected to make a full recovery. The Rings”, has been sighted in the jungle over That’s right! And it’s not a trilogy! There

house. He mentioned, “I just thought third was released from the hospital the past few days. Apparently, Sméagol, are six books! I hate it when people

it would be a fun game. I didn’t real- yesterday. He had this to say, “I’m so who also answers to the name Gollum, say…” before I hung up the phone.

ize how difficult it was.” Nine other lucky to have made it through this. I has holed up in the south end of the jungle After the first encounter, more and

people cheered him on as his first at- don’t know if I’ll ever look at DDR as of recent. “I was just walking through more people are recounting fascinating

tempt at DDR started, but those cheers the same way again.” The three the jungle one day, and I swore I heard tales of meeting Sméagol in the jungle,

were soon silenced as everyone came people who were not affected by the someone sing ‘So Juicy Sweeeeeeettt!’ talking to him, and even claiming to have

to grips with what they were watch- sight agreed that it was pretty bad, but It was a little scary,” said Laura, a fresh- touched the One Ring, which he still pos-

ing. A friend, who wishes not to be were even more distraught over the man student. sesses. “He gets really angry when you

named, stammered, “It was just bad. loss of their DDR disc, which self- Students have reported seeing try to play with that ring, though. He

The way he moved. So wrong. Un- destructed shortly after the score was many strange animals in the jungle, in- nearly bit my finger off to get it back.

natural. In a bad way.” shown. An unknown source at cluding crocodiles, 20-foot pythons, and I’m not sure what he meant when he

Four people were taken to the Konami said, “There is a little known even three reports of the Loch Ness called me a ‘stupid, fat hobbit’ who ‘ru-

hospital shortly after the minute and piece of code in every DDR game we Monster. However, this is the first time ins the Precious.’ I think it was just a

a half song ended. Two were pro- sell that destroys the disc if someone a report has ever come in about seeing a cultural misunderstanding,” said Paul, a

nounced dead at the scene by para- does too badly. We all thought it was fantasy book character. A local Tolkien sophomore.

medics, and another died on the way funny to put that in the code. We

to the hospital. Joe Fulton, the first never thought someone would actu-

paramedic on the scene said, “The ally score that low.”









Photo by Grimson Spy Cam

People ignoring Crimson reporters at Konami headquarters.



Florida Tech Announces New Major

In an effort to retain more freshman students, Florida Tech will be add-

ing a new major to the College of Engineering. Culinary Precision Engineer-

ing will start offering classes in the fall of 2005. Florida Tech President

Catanese put out this statement: “We here at Florida Tech realize that not

everyone is meant to be an engineer, nor would we be comfortable placing

our lives in their incompetent hands. However, rather than lose these people,

we can easily keep them on in a program where we feel comfortable with

their level of responsibility and makes them feel good about themselves.” A

few classes have already been created. CPE 3002, ‘Thermodynamics of

Chicken’ will entail the study of exact microwave time for warming up chicken

patties. CPE 2004 ‘Methods in Fry Implementation’ will teach students the

skill of managing fry creation during busy lunch periods. Finally, CPE 4002,

‘Theory of Burgers’ will be an advanced design class, where the student will

learn the proper procedure for putting burgers together, from condiments and

secret sauces to bun toasting and assembly. The program will culminate with a

three hour long Senior Shift, where the student will be placed in a local fast

food chain, and professors will judge them on their success during their shift.

Plans to add a master’s and Ph.D. program are still currently under develop-

ment.

Playboy Announces ‘Girls of Florida

Tech’ Issue

In a press conference held at the foot of Shaw Hall, Playboy founder and

all around horny bastard Hugh Hefner announced a talent search for women

from Florida Tech to appear in an upcoming issue of Playboy. “After we found

out that Florida Tech overtook JMU for the college with the hottest women,

we knew that Melbourne is the place to be, and soon to be the hottest party

town in the US of A.” Initial screenings will start on Friday on the second

floor of the SUB. Applicants must be 18 years of age or older, be a registered

full time student, and be willing to sleep with Hugh Hefner.

Grimson The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 7

Moon Blows Up - Freak Calculus

Scientists Baffled Problem Proves sizes varying from a grain of sand to North



PI is Exactly 3

David Louisgnan

America are flying off in all directions,

Gynecologically tested

many of them towards Earth. The exact

impact times have not yet been calcu-

A mighty explosion last Wednes- lated, but are estimated to be sometime show PI holds a different value.

Ampersand

day blew apart our beloved Moon, chang- mid-next week. The FIT Infinity Club President

Luculent Prestidigitator

ing the night sky forever and leaving sci- The consequences of even a mi- said “I, I just don’t know what

entists all over the world in a dazed con- nor collision would be severe. to believe any more,” before

fusion. “When things hit things, things hap- Mathematicians have won- stumbling away, his mind other-

“I just don’t get it,” says Jack pen,” says Jim McCallister, the less-edu- dered for millennia about the true wise occupied. Several students

McCallister, chief scientist at NASA. cated brother of Jack McCallister. “I value of the number PI. Such on campus, calling themselves

“Moons don’t just blow up. There’s no remember one time when I smashed the speculation was put to an end “The Friends of the Fractional

explanation for it - no moon in the entire windshield of my dad’s car in with a base- Tuesday when, during a routine Part,” have banded together to

solar system has the chemical composi- ball bat, and boy did I smash it good! My calculus problem, a local under- raise funds to either disprove the

tion to even ignite, let alone one that dad wasn’t even mad when I did it be- graduate noticed that the value new finding or find the student

causes the entire body to detonate.” cause he was so impressed with my experimenters had long approxi- who discovered it. While the lo-

The true cause of the explosion re- smashing ability! I guess it’s true what mated was off by approximately cal undergraduate has earned

mains unknown, but one developing idea they say - ‘smash everything until it’s bro- one-seventh. The student, who fame for moving science for-

is essentially that “everything blows up ken.’ It’s a good quote and I’m sticking refuses to be named for fear of ward, he has some misgivings

eventually,” a concept being propagated to it. Anyway, what were we talking reprisal from the community, had about his discovery. “What will

by certain religious fanatic groups and about again?” this to say: “It was all so simple. we do for PI day now? It will

pyromaniac mental patients. The lack The coming challenge of dealing Once I had factored y out of just feel wrong celebrating on

of resolution in these matters is further with the fragments is being handled by problem 42, it was obvious that the 14 th . I feel very lost right

adding to the long-time tension between the United Nations and the NRA, both PI was actually three.” now.” Dr. Kovats could not be

religion and science, provoking small skir- of which advocate “shooting stuff at the Many have attempted to re- reached for comment, but we at

mishes and assorted witch burnings all fragments until they go away.” This so- fute the logic of the problem, but the Grimson are sure it would be

over the world, which have thus far killed lution is being seen as trivial and useless no one has actually been able to hilarious.

37 people. Only 34 were actually by all scientists except for Jim

witches. McCallister, who describes it as

The result of the explosion, how- “rockin’.” The final solution is to be pre-

ever, is indisputable; moon fragments of sented to the public sometime next year.







Faculty Profile: Lord Derek G.

OogleplexoftheLegumesProfessor

of Evil Overlordmanship

King Albert IV as 3510, you have Advanced Mind Con-

Roach Farmer trol. The final exam is so much fun.



This particular faculty member Harold: What is this final exam?

cannot be seen on a regular basis. His Oogleplex: You really have to

plans for the community of Florida Tech see it. I can’t tell you. You could always

are much more diabolical than most other be subjected to it.

professors, and there is no stopping him

from teaching his students the ways of Harold: I heard there was an op-

the evil overlord. His name is Professor tion for aviation students as well. What

Lord Derek G. Oogleplex of the Le- is it?

gumes. Oogleplex: Aviation students can

have a minor. [One class is] 3470, Dog

Harold: So, not many students Fighting. It’s helpful if you want to be-

have heard about you. Where is your come a higher level minion.

office?

Oogleplex: In the nether regions Harold: Is there graduate school

of Clemente. You really have to look for students majoring in your depart-

for it in order to find it. ment?

Oogleplex: Kind of. It’s more of

Harold: Why you aren’t in the a co-op program. In the real world, you

course catalogues? can apply your knowledge of evil over-

Oogleplex: FIT doesn’t want lord-manship.

that kind of publicity, although that will File Photo

soon change. Harold: What kind of clothes Professor Lord Derek G. Oogleplex of the Legumes.

would you expect students to wear? tache? would recommend to students who are

Harold: Can you describe some Oogleplex: All students must Oogleplex: It looks cool. It just interested in this major?

of the classes that you teach? have Army of Darkness attire, which looks cool. Plus it tickles. Oogleplex: Come by my office,

Oogleplex: Base level course is looks like Storm Trooper gear. we will run some tests to see if you are

Killing of the Innocents, 1101. That one Harold: What is your favorite din- capable of taking of it. Bring a towel.

is personally my favorite; it will deter- Harold: If you are running classes ing facility on campus, if you even have

mine who will be the evil overlord men such as these, why hasn’t Florida Tech one? Harold: Do students ever see you

of the future. Then you have 2050, Nu- made any attempt to stop you? Oogleplex: As I told you before, walking around campus?

trition Control for the Peasants. That one Oogleplex: They simply can’t. it is Evans Dining Hall. Oogleplex: I try to avoid it when-

takes place in Evans Dining Hall. Get- ever possible. All the publicity is not

ting up into the advanced classes, such Harold: What’s with the mus- Harold: What is one thing you good.

7 The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 Grimson

Dear Michael!!1122@2!!1!

Ask the Love God! Really! Ask him! No, come back! He won’t bite... hard.

Romance challenged in then you should be all good.

Michael Sinclair Roberts Also, have you realized that

Love God(dess?) A: Ahhh, love is in bloom. maybe not everyone is meant to

Consider yourself lucky, my ro- have a college degree?

Dear Michael, mance challenged friend. With

Q: I recently slept with a the ratio we have at this school, Q: I can’t take it anymore.

girl after some party, but a few be glad that you’ve found some- I’m failing out of classes, my

days later, I had a burning sen- one who could potentially be girlfriend dumped me for an-

sation when I was going to the your soulmate. Now you need to other woman, my lifetime pet

bathroom, and I’ve been notic- seal the deal, and it’s really quite just died, my mom tore up my

ing some sores developing. I’m simple. You simply need to go comic books, the Red Sox won

scared to death that I might up to her, preferably during a the World Series, and my room-

have caught something from the secluded and private time, and mate won’t stop hitting on me.

girl, but I don’t really know ask her to take a shower with I’m tired of life, and I just don’t

what to do. What should I do? you. Simply put, the shower think things could get any proud my friend…walk proud.

Worried in Wood would be a great place for the worse. I’m afraid I might do

A: A grave predicament two of you to talk things over something stupid, please help Michael Sinclair is not a

you’ve put yourself in my and clear things up, plus it’s a me. re g i s t e re d p s y c h i a t r i s t , a n d

friend. Obviously despite years great chance to have sex. A: Hey there man, take it has in fact been banned from

of nasty headlines, and public easy. Sure the world may suck b e i n g a p p ro v e d f o r a n y t h i n g

service announcements by fabu- sometimes (sorry to hear about by any state board in any

lously wealthy celebrities, you your comic books by the way) state. Michael Sinclair is by

seem to have still neglected the but suicide is most certainly not no means held liable for any-

necessary precautions for doing the answer. The first thing you thing he says in his column,

the horizontal mambo with a girl need to do is see a trained pro- and if anyone is stupid enough

you’ve known for less time than fessional, and by that I mean a to actually listen to his advice,

a plate of Evans food stays in psychiatrist who moonlights as he/she/

you now carry a great respon- deal, where she can help you p ro b a b l y d e s e r v e s w h a t e v e r

sibility. You’re life is screwed take care of your business, and he/she/

point is to sleep with as many what I mean?) because after all, got. Except for when he says

women as possible in as short a we all know that sex is indeed to have sex. Everyone knows

time frame. My friend, once Q: I’ve been with my boy- the best remedy for everything, sex fixes everything. Seri-

your newfound amigo friend (now fiancée) for six from the common cold, to the ously. Read Lysistrata. I mean,

progresses to a much more no- years. I recently graduated, and most unfortunate car wrecks. she ends a whole freakin’ war

table phase, you won’t be able he is finishing up his senior between Athens and Sparta by

to get a woman to come near y e a r. T h i n g s s e e m w e l l , b u t w i t h h o l d i n g s e x f ro m t h e

you, even if you offer her we’ve both been a bit stressed country, and when they finally

candy, so you’d best be getting out. He’s having a tough time make peace, everyone’s happy

enough sexual experiences to dealing with how hard his Psy- and gets laid. I’m not kidding.

last in your memories for quite chology classes are, and he’s Yo u a l l s h o u l d h a v e t o t a k e

sometime. I’d also suggest go- worried about being kicked out. Civ. 1, it’s in the Norton An-

ing to Bizzarro’s pizza. They He went from engineering, then thology. Go to class more of-

make some good food. Espe- switched to flight, then to busi- ten! To contact Michael with

cially those chicken rolls. ness, humanities and finally questions, or to send him care

MMM….chicken rolls…. ended up in psych. He’s worried packages containing Rice

that if he gets kicked out he Krispie treats and head

would end up wasting eight c h e e s e , p l e a s e f o r w a rd a l l

years worth of tuition. As for emails to

myself, I’m having trouble find- DearMichael@insanelunatic.

ing a job with my communica- arkham.adios\losers .

tions degree. Between all this

and wedding plans, I’m worried The Florida Tech

we might not make it. Please

help me. Q: Michael, I wrote you a

Grimson

Chief Inventive Officer:

Stressed out in Southgate few years back telling you about

Laura Seward

A: Wow, communications my situation. I had three differ- Not-So-Inventive 2nd Officer:

and psychology? That’s a double ent women in three different William “Let’s do it” Ulrich

death sentence right there. states that I went back and forth Master of Arms:

Even I might not be able to help between. Well, things have got- David “Where’s my lubricant” Louisgnan

you there. What I can help you ten worse. I’ve expanded from Editor’s 21st Mate:

Q: Michael, I met this girl out with is the stress part. What the southeast US, and now have Michael Sinclair

during orientation, and I com- you two need to do is have lots women in at least 12 different He Who is Named:

pletely fell for it. She’s smart, and lots of sex. Simple as that. states. I feel so guilty Michael, Ampersand

cute, holds the same high reli- Sex is the universal healer, and I don’t know what to do, I just Master Of Layout on His First Try:

Stephen “What’s that do?” Hanna

gious values as I do, and get before you know it, your rela- can’t seem to beat women away

Helper of Layout:

this, she actually seems to fa- tionship will be in tip top shape from me. Melissa “It does this” Benua

vorably reply to me when I flirt again. Still not enough? Talk to Playa who don’t wanna be

w i t h h e r. E v e n s o m e o f m y your partner about having a a playa The Grimson would like to pay final

friends think this, so I don’t threesome. If your relationship A: So let me get this respects to our former sports editor, Jess,

think it’s just me. I’m really ner- can hold up to you watching your straight. At least 12 women. In by thanking her for all the work she did

vous, and I just don’t know ex- significant other boinking an- 12 states. No chance of being for this organization with this message:

actly how to come right out and other person who might defi- caught? T h a t ’s r o u g h l y a

tell her. Help me! nitely be hotter than yourself, d o d e c a h e d r o n o f l o v e ! Wa l k [Insert Message Here]

Advertisement The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 11

Name

Position

12 The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 Sports

Florida Tech Basketball Interviews game long, no matter what the score on of building character. One of the big- have you taken from it? What have you

Eryck Komlavi Dzotsi the board is. How do you make them gest things was being able to have an taken from this last season in particu-

Staff Writer push themselves to those limits? opportunity to play for my father. lar?

CR: Habits are created, good ones ED: How tough has it been for you CO: I have gained a great deal of

Interview with Senior Guard Ty and bad ones. If you have developed the to play with your father? experience over the years as the Head

Anna Caravano habit of working as hard as you can in LR: It’s all in how you look at it. Coach of the Men’s Basketball Team.

everything you do, the score on the I’ve been around him coaching for so This season in particular I gained confi-

ED: What do you take with you board, no matter what it is, will never long that I’m used to a lot of the things dence in those teachings. As I look past

going out of this career in college bas- affect how hard you will work. that go on the court (yelling, the spit- on this season I think our team grew and

ketball? As for getting the players to push ting). [laughs] In addition, I have been matured.

TC: With my career in college bas- themselves to their limits all the time, around it for so long that I watch how This year we turned the corner of

ketball, I will take with me many les- well, that is just an understanding that he becomes a father to everyone else on believing in ourselves and playing at a

sons and memories. From my first day we have. They know that we (their the team. It makes me appreciate him level to compete. For the most part ev-

on the team to my last day, I have learned coaches and teammates) will not accept as a father even more. There were times ery game came down to the final pos-

how to be both a follower (as an under- anything less than everything. It is the that it was hard to share him, but I real- session. We had our share of thrilling

classman) and a leader (junior and se- requirement that is first and foremost. ize his job is more than just coaching victories as well as our share of heart-

nior) as a captain. I had to learn the team Without that we would have no chance. and I respect that. No, but really, it was breaks. I think the heartbreaks show the

system and as a senior pass it on to oth- Once we get that, everything else will not that hard it was also just not being toughness of our team. At no point did

ers. I will also take strength and deter- follow. as good as I wanted to be for him. So our team lose its focus, determination,

mination to any job or tough situation ED: A key player on the team has really, I think I’m grateful for having a or discipline to compete. Of all the things

that I am faced with in the future. I had been Laurissa, your own daughter. How chance to play for my father at the col- I have learned in my tenure, those three

to have strength and determination to challenging has that been? lege level. things—focus, determination, and dis-

finish a long season, overcome nagging CR: I never approached coaching ED: It is my understanding that cipline—are three key ingredients of

injuries, get my team back on track when Laurissa as a challenge. It’s enough of a you underwent a shoulder surgery not putting yourself in position of having

we lost, and get my team ready for im- challenge just being a father. I only long before the beginning of the season, success.

portant games. Basketball has been a wanted to enjoy the experience regard- how were you able to get back in shape ED: You have many great players

key part of my life for the majority of less of where it went. I am very thank- on time for the season? who perform very well. What do you

my life. I will hold with me many ful for that experience. Once we got in LR: I just did what I had to do and think is their strength? What do you

memories, and I am ready to take on the practice or to a game, the fact that played through any pain I felt. I wish I think is missing in the dynamic of the

next step in my life. Laurissa was my daughter almost never had waited until after this season to get team?

ED: Your game has improved so crossed my mind. I have always tried to back in because it just did not feel the CO: Thank you for the compli-

much through the years; where was your treat my players as I would my own kids. same! Therefore, that was probably the ments of our players. They are truly fine

motivation coming from? I believe I do this but you will have to most frustrating thing because it set me young gentlemen. I think our strength

TC: My game has improved from ask the players to see if I have. back so far. is our shooting ability, quickness, and

when I started because of my self-de- ED: You have always been vague ED: The players that left last year, team chemistry. Our guards have devel-

termination. I never wanted to go into a about your post season predictions. All added to the ones leaving this year, are oped very well. That being said, I think

new season with the same skills from we hear is that “we are looking forward experienced players. Do you think the an area in which we improved on and

the previous year. I always worked in to an interesting season.” Yet you some- bar of performance has been placed too must continue to improve is our post

the off-season to improve from the last how manage to get the bid for the re- high for the upcoming team? players. Damien Clark had a good

season. In the past two years I worked gional. What are we to expect for the LR: Not at all, this team has the sophomore year and if he continues to

out with my boyfriend (who is an amaz- upcoming season? ability to win the whole thing. I do not work in the off-season can be a domi-

ing b-ball player) over the summer to CR: It’s not that I’m vague, it is think the bar could be too high. This nate force in our league. Kevin Krieg

make sure that I was getting something just that I’m guarded in what I say about team has all the potential in the world; played very well the final month of our

out of the drills. predicting the season. There are just too if they would just believe it they will season and if he can sustain his confi-

ED: What do you think about the many variables: injuries, illness, grades, receive it. dence, he has the ability to be a strong

current and the possible upcoming team? etc. Who knows what will happen? inside defender, rebounder, and scorer.

TC: I think that next year’s team You want predictions for next year, Interview with EJ Murray Romark Suckra had an up and down first

will be very successful, because this year I don’t have any. I do have some guar- year and should take that knowledge in

they were young and next year they will antees. We will be in better condition. ED: What have you learned this to the off-season to prepare himself for

have the experience that they need. The We will spend less time on game film year that you will take on for the rest of an outstanding senior season. Jod Kelly

team will have a great deal of talent, it and more time in the weight room. We the journey? has the potential to be an outstanding

will be up to them to apply it, mesh as a will shoot better. We will defend better. EM: This year was good for me player in our conference.

team, and peak at the right time in the We will rebound better. We will get more to learn more about my teammates and A weakness from this past season

season. As long as they stay motivated loose balls than our opponents. We will coaches. I also learned about my was our rebounding. Edmond Parotte,

and disciplined, putting basketball and sign the right recruits to help us get bet- strengths and weaknesses that will help who red-shirted this year, could be the

school first, they will make it far. ter. We will be better than we were this me be successful in the future. rebounding force we have been search-

ED: Your last words or messages? year. This is what I can predict. ED: What drives you, what is the ing for.

TC: My last words- My journey ED: Now that the season is over, deal about EJ Murray? ED: What should we expect from

at Florida Tech has been a memorable what are your plans for the break? EM: I love to play basketball and you next season?

one. I have learned a great deal with CR: There is no off season. Not I feel that God has blessed me with the CO: I think every year our expec-

ups and downs, and I will take my life for coaches, not for players. Next sea- skills to compete on a high level. I’m tations are to compete at a champion-

lessons on the rest of my journey. son started 12 March 2005. The day af- not very big, but I know what I can do. ship level. We try to instill in our play-

ter our final loss of the 04-05 season. Regardless of what’s going on, I’m just ers that being successful is who they are:

Interview with Coach Reynolds We just don’t have to do it seven days a going to play my game. My best friend hard working, disciplined, courteous stu-

week. is in a situation where he is not able to dent athletes. With the number of seniors

ED: You have taken your players As for vacation, I don’t know yet. fulfill his dream and play college ball we have and the ability of our young

into the final game, several years in a The Bahamas, Palm Springs, and New because he is incarcerated, so I want to players - E.J. Murray, Jod Kelley, and

row. What is it that makes you so con- York are on the list of possibilities. do well not only for myself but also for Matt Hill - our team has the ability to be

sistent? him. It just helps me realize how much very exciting to watch.

CR: I believe the thing that has Interview with Laurissa God has blessed me. ED: You do a remarkable job with

kept our team consistent over the years Reynolds ED: What should we expect from the basketball camps in the summer.

is continuity. We always seem to have you next season? Where is the idea from?

returning players who are committed to ED: What are your plans after EM: Next season you should ex- CO: I have been involved in

making all the sacrifices necessary, so graduation? pect big things from me. I expect to be camps since I attended my first basket-

that we can create an opportunity to LR: I plan to become a real estate one of the top players in the conference ball camp in the 2nd grade at our local

reach our goals. The quality of a team’s investor; I also plan to coach with my and more importantly, I expect the team high school in Illinois. I have worked

senior leadership is what will separate father, and I would like to work in drug to be one of the best teams in the con- various basketball camps throughout

them from the rest of the pack at crunch rehab somewhere maybe in a church. ference. high school and college. Therefore, the

time. We have always had outstanding ED: After playing for the last four ideas that we use running our camps

senior leadership and this year was no years, what do you take back with you? Interview with Coach Olson come from those experiences. The most

different. I am sure that next year’s se- LR: The friendships are one of the important thing I learned over the years

niors will not let us down either. biggest things I will keep with me for- ED: After all these years of coach- about running camps is that the camps

ED: Your players play hard all ever, the lessons of life and the process ing the Men’s basketball team, what are only as good as the staff.

Sports The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 13

PANTHER SCOREBOARD

Sport Date Opponent Score Facts



Baseball 3/23 Franklin Pierce W 6-3 Runs scored by Stanton, Baksh, Mendillo, Messana, Condotta with 2.



3/26 Lynn L 13-2 Runs scored by Powers, Lanier.



Softball 3/21 Nyack Game 1: W 3-0 Runs scored by Hube, D’Alberto, Darden.

Game 2: W 6-0 Runs scored by West, D’Alberto, Naumoff, Dewey, Salls with 2.



3/22 Molloy Game 1: W 2-1 Runs scored by Chisena, Fettes.

Game 2: W 7-0 Runs scored by Hube, Darden, Harless, Naumoff with 2, D’Alberto with 2.



3/25 Alabama Huntsville W 4-2 Runs scored by Salls, Naumoff, Khodadad, Dewey.



Men’s 3/18 Univ. of Indianapolis L 7-2

Tennis

3/23 The Citadel L 8-1



Women’s 3/11- Northern Illinois First tournament team finished 11th.

Golf 3/12 Tournament 1 Reb Bareng finished 12th.



3/17- Northern Illinois Second tournament team finished 8th.

3/18 Tournament 2 Natalia Reiman finished 24th.







Panther Basketball Season Overview

on the way, several recognitions from to the Sunshine State Tournament with hesion making one of their adversaries

Eryck Komlavi Dzotsi

the Sunshine State Conference. After confidence. They defeated Lynn Uni- declares, “These girls play like they

Staff Writer

losing the homecoming game to Nova, versity, confirmed their superiority over were born together.” Several recogni-

the panthers went to defeat them in the Nova by defeating them in the semi- tion were also awarded to the Lady bas-

The big game nights in the opening game in the Sunshine State final and reached the final of the tour- ketball team. Jen Tamilio was named

Clemente Center will not happen for a tournament in Miami Shores. nament to face their adversary of last January 2 SSC Women’s Basketball

while. The basketball season has ended. Among the recognized players tournament final game Rollins. Unfor- Player of the Week and SSC All tour-

Both teams have performed remark- this season, Ryan Maultsby was named tunately, for the second year in a row, nament team. Graduating Shayla Fisher

ably. These are the highlights of the to the 2005 ALL SSC Team –honor- Rollins had the best of them. Never- was named to the SSC November

seasons. able mention, and he was named to theless, the Team claimed a spot in the Commissioner’s List of Outstanding.

With a game style that consider- the January Commissioners honor roll NCAA Women’s Basketball Champi- Danielle Quinn was named to the SSC

ably changed since last year, the Men’s as well as 10 January SSC Men’s Bas- onship that was held from 11 March January and December

Basketball team after a quick start ketball player of the week. Titas through 14 March in Conway, Arizona. Commissioner’s list of outstanding ath-

slowed down its pace to end the season Vainauskas was named to the SSC No- While the school was on Spring break, letes . Danise Fequiere was named 22

as the number eight team out of nine vember Commissioner’s list of out- Coach Reynolds took its troop back to November SSC Women’s Basketball

teams. The team stood last year as num- standing athletes. EJ Murray was the gym to get ready for the competi- player of the week. And graduating Ty-

ber seven out of eight teams in the sun- named to the 2005 ALL SSC Fresh- tion. The team #7 Florida Tech fell to Anna Caravano was named 28 Febru-

shine state conference. There is im- man Team. Supporters complained #2 Valdosta State University in the first ary SSC Women’s Basketball final

provement from last year. In fact, last about the lack of involvement from the game on Thursday. Supporters said they player of the week and SSC All Tour-

year the team ended with a statistic of bench, which rarely appear during the thought that after losing four key play- nament team. Last season the Ladies

overall and a 5-23 (wins-losses), and entire season. Some supporters say that ers who graduate last year, the Lady stood at 17-13 overall, and 9-5 for in-

an in-conference statistic of 1-13. This the reason why they have hope is that panthers might need some time to get conference statistic. This season, they

year however there it stood at 11-16 EJ Murray is a very talented player, and to a full efficiency level. The team that stood at 21-10 overall, and 11-5 in-con-

overall, and they rose to a 5-11 in-con- when he gains more experience, he will played this season showed a lot of co- ference statistic.

ference statistic. Coach Olson and his be hard to stop.

boys lost many games on the buzzer, Coach Reynolds nicknamed by

which makes student, stipulate that they supporters as “the strategist” took the Look in next week’s paper for the

could in fact have done much better. women basketball team for the fourth

The dynamic of this year’s team was time in five years to the highest level of

Blue Wave Women’s Flag Football

different. Led by freshman point-guard

EJ Murray, and supported by junior

the conference. After securing the num- team update and more Scoreboard!

ber two position of the conference by

Guard Desmond Greene, the team as a winning against Nova State by a score

whole improved considerably gaining of 70-64, the Lady Panthers advanced

CONGRATULATIONS

Sunshine State Conference

Commissioner’s List of Outstand- SSC Softball Player of the Week

ing Achievement for the month of for 3/20-3/26

February Kelly Darden

She obtained five RBI, two runs

BASEBALL scored, and batted .444 with eight

Jonathan Baksh hits for the week.



MEN’S BASKETBALL SSC Women’s Rower of the Week

E.J. Murray for 3/20-3/26

Kristen Brotherton

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL She helped her team win the

Jennifer Tamilio Varsity Eight race defeating MIT

by five seconds at the Florida Tech

MEN’S GOLF Tri-Meet on 26 March 2005.

Justin Regier



SOFTBALL

Megan Hube

14 The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 Opinions & Editorials

Straight from the

Source Eating Your Way

to Success

pot of boiling water, a microwave,

David Louisgnan an oven, or an open flame. Al-

Staff Writer though the first three methods are

relatively safer, they cannot be

If you’ve been alive more than done on your couch, and thus you

a few days, you are probably aware will have to leave behind the plea-

that eating things is a key to long- sure of wasting time watching TV

term survival. Countless deaths if you are to make anything. Fires

have resulted from people going are easy to start; in fact, I start fires

without food, yet many of these all the time, even when I’m not

could have been prevented had the planning on cooking anything. A

victim been more aware of what is common method of starting fires is

actually edible here on Earth. As to rub two squirrels together. The

always, I am here to spoon out the rubbing action generates friction, vere death by starvation. Contrary ach.

truth like gravy on your metaphori- which will heat the squirrels until to popular belief, all foods must be Understanding and catering to

cal cardboard. they explode in a fiery ball of gas, cooked, including crackers, orange the human palate is a fine art that

The first step when preparing much as a baby would if it were juice, and solar plasma. requires years of practice coupled

any meal is separating items in your filled with methane. Once you A general rule of thumb when with many incidents of trial and er-

household into an edible group and have your fire going, just pile all eating is that the better something ror. I didn’t have that much time,

an inedible group. I have com- the edible ingredients you have dis- tastes, the worse it is for you. So, but at least I got to eat a whole stick

posed a helpful chart for your food covered onto the fire. While roast- what do you do when you want to of butter during the “research” pe-

identification purposes, if you ing, add several inedible ingredi- eat that last stick of butter but are riod. If you have a question about

would so kindly look in whatever ents. These are known as “spices,” afraid of the consequences? Sim- Introductory Human Anatomy or

direction the chart happens to be. and will make the food taste even ply make it taste terrible, and you other subjects that are easy to cheat

Once you have identified all your more delicious. The food will be can eat all the butter you want! at if you bring a scalpel to class (Ill-

ingredients, you can now begin the done when the fire burns out, which Coat your stick of butter with sand Tempered Stabbing 101?), please

second step: making it taste good. generally takes between one hour and copper fragments, and before e-mail me at dlouisgn@fit.edu, and

The process of applying ex- and three decades. Thus, start mak- you know it the butter will be I will more than likely mail you a

treme heat to a substance is known ing your food long before you are healthier than even the most mas- leftover ham sandwich that I failed

as cooking. This can be done via a hungry, or you may suffer from se- sive piece of broccoli-injected spin- to finish last week.







A Jealous God Voicing your opinion

If you don’t have an opinion on anything, stop

reading here. Now, for the rest of you, you can send

Ofego Okpobrisi your ranting and raving about how pointless it is to have

Staff Writer a gate in Columbia Village and not letting us use it...by

emailing crimson@fit.edu. Go.

Exodus 34.14 says, “For thou

shalt worship no other god: for the

Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a

Jealous God.”

What is jealousy? Jealousy

can be defined as a state or a feel- ing the glory due unto God to some-

ing of being jealous, and to be jeal- thing else. Isaiah 42.8 says, “I am

ous means feeling or showing that the Lord: that is my name: and my

one wishes he/she had somebody glory will I not give to another, nei-

else’s success, i.e. placing yourself ther my praise to graven images.”

in another man’s opportunity or ad- In every success, we must not

vantages or achievements as a wish, give glory to ourselves, but to God

and expressing it as a negative feel- only. Acts 12.21-23 tells us a story

ing to the person. This can lead to about King Herod. He gave a pow-

personal hatred or strife. Also, it erful oration, and the people

can be a fiercely protective method shouted that it was the voice of a

of protecting one’s right or posses- god, and not of a man, but Herod

sion. The second is the kind of jeal- did not give glory to God. Verse 23

ousy that God has towards His chil- says, “And immediately the angel

dren, or His faithful worshippers in of the Lord smote him, because he

spirit and truth. gave not God the glory; and he was

God is love. He desires our eaten of worms, and gave up the

worship and that we should not give ghost.” That shows how bad it can

His worship to any other. There- get when we ascribe to ourselves the

fore, there are things we should take glory due to God.

note of which can provoke God to It’s a good thing for God to be

jealousy. jealous concerning someone. When

Worshiping a molten image or God is jealous concerning you, you

man-made god in place of Him or become the apple of His eyes. He

alongside with him provokes jeal- makes sure no harm comes your

ousy. This is one of the Ten Com- way, and He rains on you showers

mandments. Exodus 20.3 says, of blessings and prosperity. How-

“Thou shalt have no other gods be- ever, if you disobey God when He’s

fore me.” When God mentioned jealous about you, punishment is

other gods, He didn’t just mean sure to come your way. Heb 12. 5,

idols and carved images. Anything 6 says, “My son, despise thou not

you value above God is an idol. If the chastening of the Lord, Nor faint

you value money more than you when thou art rebuked by Him; for

value God, then you’re worshiping whom the Lord loveth, He

money. In worshiping a molten im- chasteneth, and scourgeth every son

age or man-made god, you’re giv- whom he receiveth.”

The views of the articles in this section do not necessarily reflect the opinions and viewpoints of the Crimson editorial staff or that of the university.

Opinions & Editorials The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 15

Relationship Elixir for Greed

Remedy and Selfishness

Change A Sustainable, Socially Just World

a few peanuts. And they’ll be more pro-

Jessica Hobgood John Queue Public ductive earning more money!

Sports Editor The Socially Conscious Citizen Bring all workers into the Union

of the World Brotherhood. Due to the exploitive

Many girls have different goals nature of capitalism, the only recourse

in their lives. Back in the early 1900’s, Since that libertarian fruitcake for honest workers is to unionize.

girls were expected to be married with spewed that selfish non-sense last is- Unions benevolently look after the wel-

children. Then, we took control of our sue, I felt I better take a crack at it to let fare of the worker. If all workers union-

lives and made our own choices. To- people know that Ayn Rand hasn’t com- ized, there would be no more corrup-

day, girls have a variety of goals: mar- pletely corrupted everyone. Social Jus- tion or abuse of the worker. If it wasn’t

riage, family, or career. Whatever and beautiful, young ladies. Take a tice ain’t dead yet. for unions, everyone would be work-

your goal may be, make sure you love leap in your life and choose to go be- Distribute the wealth. It’s not fair ing at below-livable wages during 80

your goal and actually want to pursue yond the little red line marked “nor- that some people are better producers hour weeks in putrid conditions. Grime-

your goal to the end. You shouldn’t mal.” than others. What kind of society is it covered children would be slaving at

be pressured into anything. Finally, some girls just want a that lets poor people starve? Wealth dangerous machines, and smoke stacks

Marriage is something many career and to succeed in life for them- must be taken from people who can pro- would be destroying the air we breathe.

girls want in their lifetimes. However, selves and no one else. Nothing is duce it and given to people who need it Nationalize all medical services.

the question always is, “Who is the wrong with this choice. These girls more than the people who produced it. It’s immoral for doctors to make a profit

right guy?” Make that “right guy” are just seeing life from a different It’s the only fair, equitable, and sustain- off of other people’s sickness. In China,

your definition; don’t make him your view. Don’t hate them because they able way for social justice to thrive and doctors are paid when people are

friends’ or parents’ definition. Who aren’t married with children; love Mother Nature to flourish. HEALTHY. They don’t get paid when

cares if he doesn’t make all the money them because they chose a different Abolish the cult of the individual. you’re sick. That way, they have the

in the world? Who cares if he isn’t path. Just because someone is differ- “We must stop thinking of the indi- incentive to make sure you have the

tall, dark, and handsome? Forget the ent doesn’t mean they are a horrible vidual and start thinking about what is very best care and are sick as rarely as

clichés and the “should’s” in the person. best for society,” said Hillary Clinton possible.

world. Pick someone who you love Marriage is surprising; children in 1993. ‘Nuff said! End the practice of “charging in-

and want to grow old with. If you are fun; careers are challenging. Look Punish those who make a profit. terest.” It’s usury. It’s wrong to get

don’t want to get married, then don’t. at others in a new light, or a new view. Value is created by the labor used to more money from people just because

Just because society says it is the Don’t think you have to be just like create a product. Value, then, can only you give them more time to pay for the

proper thing to do doesn’t mean it is “them” and do just what “they” say. be created by the workers – a capitalist goods they need now.

right for you. You don’t need to pro- Do what you want to do. I know this adds nothing to his product. Therefore, Require all children to attend pub-

vide dinner for your husband when he is a lot of ranting, but it is true. If you the capitalist must exploit the worker lic school. The only way the ideas of

gets home from work. You don’t even don’t like your life right now because to profit. How much clearer can it be? social justice and egalitarianism can

need a husband to survive in the you are living it in the eyes of your Raise the Minimum Wage to $20 properly spread is for the children to be

world. Make your choices for you and parents, then change it. Take a chance an hour. There’s no reason why every- deprogrammed from the selfishness

no one else. and change your life. You could make one can’t have a just, living wage. they were taught from their parents.

Family is another thing that mistakes, but that is what life is. “You Workers will have more money, allow- Requiring them to attend a properly

many girls desire. Some girls want learn as you go.” ing them to buy more stuff, so the unionized public school will give them

the perfect nuclear family: a great Any questions or comments can economy will take off! The only thing the tools they need to live unselfish lives

husband, the perfect wife, two amaz- be directed to jvanbrun@fit.edu. that would have to be sacrificed would dedicated to the common interest and

ingly smart children, and Fido. But, Don’t be shy. Confidentiality is re- be the profit of the capitalists. But once shed the bourgeois cult of individual-

other girls may want a husband and warded. If you don’t agree with some- they realize how evil the profit motive ism.

no children or just a career. Don’t feel thing I wrote, please e-mail me. I is, they will come to understand that a What kind of world do we want?

forced to carry on the family genes would be happy to talk about another high minimum wage benefits everyone Selfish and exploitive, or socially just

and make more handsome, young men view in my column. – people won’t have to compete to earn and sustainable? It’s pretty clear to me.





Paramount Cans “Enterprise”

technical field. Currently, I am an “Enterprise,” the fans answered by somewhat different… you see, money

Stephen Hanna Aerospace and Mechanical Engineer- organizing protests, not just at the doesn’t exist in the 24th century. The

Staff Writer ing dual major, and I would like to Paramount Studios (25 February acquisition of wealth is no longer the

attribute a part of my interest in space 2005), but around the world. Yes, driving force in our lives. We work

Space… The Final Frontier. The and space travel to the series. Now, I there have been two in Florida – one to better ourselves and the rest of hu-

stories of the starship Enterprise and also realize many people think it is a in Orlando and one in Tampa. manity,” said Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick

her crew will end in May because stupid show. Maybe we need to ex- The main question is: “Why Stewart, Star Trek: First Contact)

UPN, a Paramount company, can- plore our own history and learn how show this much support for a televi- Why take out a good show with

celled the newest installment of the Star Trek has shaped society today. A sion show?” Anyone who has such positive energy and intentions to

Star Trek saga: “Star Trek: Enter- good place to start is the space pro- watched a few episodes from any se- make way for more reality television?

prise.” This is the first time in over gram, whether it is NASA, the ESA, ries should be able to answer this Star Trek has been successful on the

18 years that there have not been any or in the private sector, such as question. The idea of exploring the air for 18 years now, with many sta-

shows or movies in production based Lockheed Martin or Boeing, a great galaxy peacefully to gain knowledge tions taking the show into syndication.

on the late Gene Roddenberry’s bold deal of engineers attribute part of their about the universe and for the better- Obviously, it has been a successful

vision of the Final Frontier. After five interest in space and the job they have ment of the people everywhere is the franchise, and will continue to be so.

series, ten feature films, and an ani- today to Star Trek. When NASA was idea that Gene Roddenbery had in Paramount needs to see how much

mated series, Soundstages 8 and 9 at polling the country for names for their mind for the show. The Star Trek support the show really has. Please

Paramount Studios, where Star Trek: first test shuttle, an overwhelming re- universe is set between the late 21st watch the remaining shows, includ-

The Motion Picture was produced, sponse came from Star Trek fans, and and 24th centuries. When the people ing the season finale on 13 May, fea-

will go empty for the first time since hence the Space Shuttle Enterprise of earth started to develop the tech- turing the famed Next Generation

1978. These two soundstages have was named. nology of the Star Trek universe and characters Will Riker (Jonathan

been home to every series and movie Speaking of the fans, Star Trek meet new species, they began to real- Frakes) and Counselor Troi (Marina

since then. fans (or Trekkies) are some of the ize that there is something more out Sirtis), and show your support for

As this is Florida Tech, many most recognized in the world for there that is more important than the such a positive, quality show. Star

students, faculty, and staff (including standing behind a show they believe petty differences they had on Earth at Trek should not die! Star Trek: En-

myself) are fans of Star Trek, and have in through thick and thin. When Para- the time. terprise airs on UPN (Channel 16) at

been inspired in some way to enter a mount announced that they cancelled “The economics of the future are 8:00 p.m. on Friday nights.

The views of the articles in this section do not necessarily reflect the opinions and viewpoints of the Crimson editorial staff or that of the university.

16 The Florida Tech Crimson * 1 April 2005 Opinions & Editorials









Nuts & Dolts

Classics

by...

Chris Sonnenberg



We are rerunning this classic

comic strip that many readers

looked forward to reading in pre-

vious years.



Check back every week to see

all of the “Nuts & Dolts” comic

strips from start to finish.





Original Publish Date

17 November 2000









Classifieds Section Classified ads are free for Florida Tech students.

Take advantage of this opportunity and e-mail your classified ads to crimson@fit.edu.





Clubs/Orgs. Miscellaneous

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www.geocities.com/ your non-sales fundraiser with

spacecoastfreethought. CampusFundraiser. Contact

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or visit www.campusfundraiser.com







Submitting

If you have an opinion and you want it to be heard by students and teachers, this section is for you. Send your articles, opinions, and occasional

crying to crimson@fit.edu. We’ll be sure to read it, and if you’re lucky, we’ll give it its own special place in the next issue.





The views of the articles in this section do not necessarily reflect the opinions and viewpoints of the Crimson editorial staff or that of the university.