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Don’t Blog weblog

Don’t Blog









Don’t Blog

Headlines

from the Future

Blogging Backlash

Revised February 2005

Don’t Blog





Live Life, Don’t Blog

Psychologist Dr. Phil joined the call for

a blogging holiday every August.

“Good for your mental health, freeing

for your inner child.”

Others complain of being blog widows

or latchkey bloggers.

Don’t Blog





Want “Weblogs are

just like public

Privacy? records” says

private

Don’t Blog investigator

Adam

Cartwright.

Don’t Blog



Credit card and

Want medical

insurance

Privacy? companies are

making business

Don’t Blog decisions,

denying credit

or coverage

from weblogs

data.

Don’t Blog





Want

Privacy?

Don’t Blog

TransparentLives.com includes

weblogs in background checks

for employers, divorce lawyers,

congressional committees and

college admissions.

Don’t Blog





Pain Blogging

Handheld blogreader pain-

mods have a cult following

two years after the

Painstation swept America.

Don’t Blog





Pain Blogging

• Don’t post every 5 minutes?

Get an electric shock.

• Don’t read your

competitor’s posts?

Shock.

Don’t Blog





Pain Blogging

• Judges rate your

posts down?

a shock for you.

• Rate up?

a shock for the

other blogger.

• Loser walks away.

Don’t Blog





Blog Atlanta, Georgia –

The Center for

Addiction Disease Control

reports a sharp

Up 376% rise in the

number of

reported blog

BA addicts in 2004.

RECOVERY

Don’t Blog



“Symptoms

Blog include

Addiction absenteeism,

compulsive

Up 376% posting, and a

sense that life

events are not

real unless

BA blogged.

RECOVERY

Don’t Blog





Blog In addition to

new clinical

Addiction treatments you

Up 376% can consult

your local

Bloggers

BA Anonymous.”

RECOVERY

Don’t Blog



BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA –

Blog Marisa Tomlinson

Stalkers hanged herself last

night after 3

Claim 8 th

months of

Victim continuous online

harassment, said

University police.

Don’t Blog



The student’s

Blog blog became the

Stalkers target of a gang

th of “blog

Claim 8 stalkers.”

Victim

Don’t Blog



They parodied

Blog her blog,

Stalkers taunting her

th interests, love

Claim 8 life, intelligence,

Victim writing style,

looks, social

appeal, and

sorority.

Don’t Blog



“It just became

Blog too much” said

Stalkers her dorm mate.

Claim 8 th



Victim

Don’t Blog



PARIS, FRANCE –

Angry Starbucks

Bloggers throughout Paris

were attacked this

the New morning.

Hooligans

Don’t Blog



Luc Pascal

Angry posted

Bloggers “Coffee is our heritage,

our birthright. Let’s

the New take back the latte and

push Starbucks back to

Hooligans Seattle”

to his Café,

Liberte, Egalite

blog.

Don’t Blog



The idea

Angry spread through

Bloggers the French

blogosphere in

the New three hours.

Protesters

Hooligans pushed to target

stores.

Don’t Blog





Bishop Competes with

Confessional.

Bans

“It should be

Blogs between you

& God, not the

Internet”

Don’t Blog





Lies,

Damned Lies,

and Weblogs

WALL STREET JOURNAL: Dow

tumbles 15% as blogosphere

rumors and commentary

tank proposed Disney and

AOL/Time Warner merger.

Don’t Blog





Lies,

Damned Lies,

and Weblogs

SEC investigates.

Don’t Blog





Comment

Attack

Succeeds



$15 million legal

fees; nothing proved

Don’t Blog





Bloggers

London – The Ministry of

Health reports carpal

tunnel syndrome and other

Get repetitive stress disorders

rose 23% in 2006. “More



Repetitive

people are blogging, and

blogging longer.”





Stress

Disorders

Blog Guards™ top Xmas sales

Don’t Blog Weblog > Slide Show Home

Don’t Blog









Don’t Blog

Headlines

from the Future

Blogging Backlash

Revised July 5, 2004

Don’t Blog





Bloggers Hurt My

Google Ranking

Ad Age – “Catalog sales are

down since customers are

going to blogs first before

our catalog pages” said a

Land’s End spokesman.

Don’t Blog





Bloggers Hurt My

Google Ranking

The Direct Marketing

Association sued Google,

Gizmodo, and more than

13,000 other bloggers, to

lower blog rankings.

Don’t Blog





Pulitzer

Pulls

Prize

Blogger Was

Paid For Posts

by Subject

Don’t Blog



Steven King:

“Bloggers Steal My Words,

Violate my Copyright”

Don’t Blog



Steven King:

“Bloggers Steal My Words,

Violate my Copyright”

He took a beating

from bloggers over

Blue Marjorie, his latest

book.

Don’t Blog



Steven King:

“Bloggers Steal My Words,

Violate my Copyright”

King says blog posts of

sections from his book

hurt sales, infringed

copyrights.

Don’t Blog



Steven King:

“Bloggers Steal My Words,

Violate my Copyright”

Won’t sue now. “Where

does fair use end and

piracy begin?”

Don’t Blog



GodBlogs.com

out-hosts

LiveJournal:

Red States go big

for Blogging

Family Values

Don’t Blog





Czech PM Candidate:

“I will never blog”



Wins by a landslide

Don’t Blog





All Doubt

Removed



Manager’s Blog shows

He Is Stupid

Don’t Blog





Libeloggers Madonna

returns fire at

Cast Stones slanderous

bloggers. Not

in Glass only suing them

for libel, also

Web Sites taking aim from

her own

weblog.

Don’t Blog





Libeloggers “My children

are not fair

Cast Stones game for

your snark

in Glass hunt. Don’t

Web Sites take your

small lives

out on me.”

Don’t Blog





Bankrupt:

Mercury News

Ads taken by Ebay and Craigslist

Editorial taken over by bloggers

Don’t Blog









Blognosing

Sucking Up To the Boss



Works sometimes.

Tutorials at blognoser.com

Don’t Blog





Blogger 9thDistrict

rules

Loses Job, employer

rights

Weblog, trump

on Appeal personal

speech.

Don’t Blog





Blogger Jane Bull was

fired by

Loses Job, Macy’s.com for

telling

Weblog, customers to try

on Appeal LandsEnd.com

for some toys.

Don’t Blog





Blogger “She posted

from work, so

Loses Job, her blog is

company

Weblog, property.”

on Appeal

Don’t Blog



Bull was

Blogger blindsided when

Loses Job, Macy’s sued for

control of her

Weblog, personal blog,

and won.

on Appeal

Don’t Blog





Blogger “My 35,000

readers will

Loses Job, lose all their

comments. I

Weblog, lost family

on Appeal photos.”

Don’t Blog





Special Ops As important

as TV, radio

Takes Out stations &

Blogistan newspapers.

Before

Invasion

Don’t Blog





Special Ops Opposition

forces blog

Takes Out operational

Blogistan intel and direct

guerilla forces.

Before

Invasion

Don’t Blog





Special Ops Our military

blogs in public

Takes Out too. PsyOps,

Blogistan congressional

Before & media

relations,

Invasion recruiting.

Don’t Blog



First we had blog

marriages. Blogger

Now the wave of

divorce. Divorce Rates

Time spent online

taken away from

marital relationships.

Higher

Less sex.

Less conversation.

Less intimacy.

Less romance.

Don’t Blog





Wife Wins

Joint Weblog

In Divorce

Court

Husband gets kids

Don’t Blog









SAP “Blogging

made CMS fun

buys and popular.





blogg.de Accounting

software needs

blog appeal.”

Don’t Blog





Warbloggers trigger war



Factions erupt



76,000 die



Terrorists retaliate

Don’t Blog





Use a Weblog,

Go To Jail

As a condition of

probation, thief Brian

Mayberry is prohibited

from blogging.

Don’t Blog





$4 million in

AOL Blogtones

in January.



AOL Journalers Pay

For Nike, FIFA, NBA,

NFL, and MLB Graphics,

Templates, Feeds.

Don’t Blog







CEO Sentenced



Blog Blows

SarbOx

Don’t Blog Weblog > Slide Show Home

Don’t Blog









Don’t Blog

Headlines

from the Future

Blogging Backlash

Revised July 5, 2004

Don’t Blog







Blogger knifed over

Technorati ranking

It backfires.

Wounded blogger’s score

soars.

AdWord revenue covers

bandwidth spike.

Don’t Blog





Blogger Jailed for

Protecting Source

Instapundit spent last

night in jail after refusing

to name the White House

source leading to

Bloggergate.

Don’t Blog





Blogger Jailed for

Protecting Source

“Citizens have the same

duty as journalists. If I

can’t keep a source’s

confidentiality, who will

trust the blogosphere?”

Don’t Blog





Blogger Jailed for

Protecting Source

The Oval Office had no

comment.

Don’t Blog





Welsh community

buys tinyURL service

blogs.llanfairpwllgwyngy

llgogerychwyrndrobwyll-

llantysiliogogogoch.com

Don’t Blog





Microsoft gains 87% of

Enterprise Blogging Market

CIOs prefer Microsoft over the

Blogger Appliance, TypePadExec, the

Technorati Workplace.

“It works better with Office 2006 and

Windows, is more secure, better

integrated with ERPs and we have

more control over what people say.”

Don’t Blog





Microsoft Kills Off

Enterprise Blogging Market

Unsuccessful, Microsoft

retires its blogging products

after burning IT budgets

and convincing CIOs

blogging doesn’t

work.

Don’t Blog





Outlaw Blogs Kidnapping

of Baby Jane Doe

Don’t Blog





Outlaw Blogs Kidnapping

of Baby Jane Doe

The blogger known as

Adam Adam Adam

continues to post pictures of

a scared little girl.

Don’t Blog





Outlaw Blogs Kidnapping

of Baby Jane Doe

A3 posts via mobile phone,

Internet café, public

library, and dial-up while

evading a national dragnet.

Don’t Blog





Outlaw Blogs Kidnapping

of Baby Jane Doe

FBI asks Attorney

General to lock down the

blogosphere. Senator

Grubb filibusters.

Don’t Blog





BBC –West

African peace-

keeping force in

Sierra Leone

questioned after

4 Bloggers reports of

webloggers

Executed In being summarily

executed, United

Sierra Leone Nations official

says.

Don’t Blog





Spammers Tailor Mail

Using Blog Data

Don’t Blog





Spammers Tailor Mail

Using Blog Data

Engineers show new bots

that parse weblogs at the

5 th Annual Nigerian Email



Conference.

Don’t Blog





Spammers Tailor Mail

Using Blog Data

The bots grab locations,

language, personal

contacts, professional

jargon, favorite music, and

blogrolled sites.

Don’t Blog





Spammers Tailor Mail

Using Blog Data

The bots use the data to

beat spam filters and tailor

messages.

Don’t Blog





MTV’s More

immediacy,

RealWorld intimacy

than video.

Madrid goes “Fewer

blog batty boring

parts. ”

Don’t Blog





Blogger joins White House

Communications Department





Proven on the campaign trail



Online voice of the President

Don’t Blog





Italian law Trade

unions

registers across Italy

support law:

bloggers as requires

bloggers to

journalists; register as

EU to vote reporters.

Don’t Blog





Italian law “What

nonsense will

registers they publish if

they do not

bloggers as apprentice to a

master and

journalists; train properly?

Our democracy

EU to vote depends on a

skilled press.”

Don’t Blog





Trackbacker Daimler-Chrysler

product

development

Worm Shuts stops while

industry

Down Blog responds. “It’s

costing us $1

Community million a day.

We’re going back

For 3rd Day to email and wikis

for now.”

Don’t Blog





Senator Blogs, Loses

Presidential Nomination

Admissions of cross dressing

in a college weblog forced

Mike Lawrson, congressman

from Alabama, to quit his

campaign for president.

Don’t Blog





Senator Blogs, Loses

Presidential Nomination

“Just one more place to

rummage for youthful

indiscretion” said the local

reporter who broke the

story.

Don’t Blog





Google deletes 23,000

weblogs under PRC pressure



Terra closes division,

deletes 150,000 blogs

Don’t Blog





EduBlogs in BOULDER, COLORADO –

Test takers

Cheating Googled fellow

student weblogs

Scandal for answers to

state exams.

Auditor blames

blogging culture.

School funding in

question.

Don’t Blog





President Edwards starts

“Weblogs for Welfare”

“Our most challenged

need a voice.



We will listen.”

Don’t Blog





Don’t Blog

What if?

Phil Wolff

Evanwolf Group: Strategy & Policy

+1 510 444 8234

dijest.com/dontblog

Suggestions? Sightings?

Spring 2003 – Spring 2005



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