Relationships by c1z1Y38

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									                           Relationships

Relationships provide an opportunity to satisfy core social motives

        To be successful, we must find ways to enter into,
               and maintain „productive‟ relationships

        We need social connections for social rewards, social status,
                       and social comparisons

        We want to be able to establish those connections that serve us
              best, help us know better, get resources, feel good
                                 Relationships

Dimensions of Relationships - differ in terms of goals and expectations
       continua, not dichotomy

   short – long term: consider future outcomes, implications, or only immediate
   intrinsic – extrinsic: for relationship‟s sake, or as a means to an end
   intimate – non-intimate: feel strong connection, concern for other, sharing or not
   sexual – nonsexual: physical attraction, reproduction driven
   chosen – imposed: friends vs. family, coworkers, classmates



Focus on development and maintenance of long-term, intrinsic, intimate, chosen,
        sexual and nonsexual
                            Relationships

Relationships are based on Attraction, the Evaluation (Attitude) based
       on a person schema that has been developed

          Three component perspective

               affective
               cognitive
               behavioral



       Research has focused on how and why a person would become
                      associated with positive experiences

          Building the positive evaluation for the attitude
                                                  Relationships
                                                                               Cognitive
Sternberg – Triangular Model of Love
 Cognitive
 I am able to count on __________ in times of need.
 I communicate well with ___________.
 I feel that _________ really understands me.

 Affective
  Just seeing ________ excites me.
  I find ________ to be very personally attractive.
 I especially like physical contact with ______.

 Behavioral                                                                                         Behavioral
 I cannot imagine ending my relationship with ____.
                                                       Affective
 I view my relationship with ___ as a good decision.
 I feel a sense of responsibility toward ________.


   One component only
    Liking – regular early stage friendship - some intimacy, but no passion or commitment
    Infatuation – puppy love, passion without commitment or intimacy
    Empty love – commitment only, stagnant, empty shell marriage

   Two Components
    Romantic love – passion and intimacy, but before a real commitment
    Fatuous love – love at first sight – feel instant heat and commitment, before any actual intimacy
    Companionate love – closeness, commitment, without passion – old friends, passionless marriage

   Three Components
    Consummate love – has it all – adult love relationships, and perhaps some parent child
                          Relationships

Measurement Issues and Techniques

       Simple Global Evaluations

       Specific Attraction Self Report Scales
                          Relationships

Measurement Issues and Techniques

       Simple Global Evaluations

       Specific Attraction Self Report Scales

       Indirect Assessments

       Nonreactive Indicators

               distance – personal space – Byrne, Ervin, Lamberth
               eye contact – Argyle
               inclination - Mehrabian
                            Relationships

Stages in Development of Personal Relationships


  First Contacts – Identifying Options and Overcoming the Fear of Strangers

       Proximity – options may be limited by circumstances
               tend to develop relationships with those available

               liked and disliked often close


       Repeated Exposure -
              in absence of negative, more is better


       Emotional State
              affect transfer and simple association
                          Relationships
Stages in Development of Personal Relationships

  Becoming Acquainted – first move

       Need for Affiliation - state and trait differences


       Physical Appearance

                Familiarity
                         fixed
                         variable


                Appearance stereotypes


       Initial attributions, inferences, assumptions
                          Relationships
Stages in Development of Personal Relationships
  Becoming Interdependent

      Perceived Stable Qualities of Value


      Similarity of Attitudes and Interests


      Self disclosure – building the cognitive base, showing trust


      Intimacy – establishing closeness, mutual support


      Reciprocity
                            Relationships
Models to Explain the Impact – why variables affect Evaluation

       Evolutionary Model

       Attachment Model

       Narrative Model/Relationship Schema
                          Relationships
Models to Explain the Impact

       Evolutionary Model – sexual selection for „genetic‟ survival

              Intrasexual competition to beat same sex others-
                      opportunity for access
              Intersexual competition to attract opposite sex-
                      actual access

        Qualities and preferences co-evolve

        Parental Investment influences which sex guides process

        Both sexes want „good genes‟
             men „prefer‟ sexual variety
             women „prefer‟ resource provision
                      Relationships

Evolutionary Model – sexual selection for „genetic‟ survival

   Evidence for „Social Value” of attractiveness

      Sigall & Landy, 1973 - impact on perception of men

      Kernis & Wheeler, 1981 – impact in Same Sex pairs

      BarTal & Saxe, 1976 – impact on perception of
                                    women

      Hebl & Mannix, 2003 – impact of weight associations
                            Relationships
Evolutionary Model – sexual selection for „genetic‟ survival

     Pheromones: http://www.pherlure.com/


     Selecting for immune response


     Cyclical preferences for men:


     Cyclical changes in lap dancers‟ tips:


     Cyclical changes in female dress style:


     Brain activity and „love‟:
                        Relationships

Evolutionary Model – sexual selection for „genetic‟ survival

Possible sources of relationship failures

      Interference in messages available



      Women‟s Trade-off in preferences

Difficulties in „explaining‟ attraction
                            Relationships
Attachment Model (Bowlby, 1969,1973)

Two Underlying “Working Models” of relationships –
      will likely influence the quality of your experiences with others,
               and their responses to you

       Initial Models developed by observing infants, so difficult to
                       identify all possibilities

        AVOIDANCE                             ANXIETY
   internal model of other                internal model of self
Negative (high) - Positive (low)       Negative (high) - Positive (low)
                          Relationships
Attachment Model

                                ANXIETY
                            internal model of self
                     Negative (high)       Positive (low)

Negative (high)      fearful               dismissing
                     (avoidant)            (new avoidant)
AVOIDANCE
  internal model of other
Positive (low)         preoccupied         secure
                       (anxious/
                       ambivalent)
                           Relationships
Attachment Model

Desirable Stable traits may appear less clear in insecure

Responses to behaviors designed to increase interdependence

       Disclosure

       Intimacy

       Reciprocity

Messages sent and received could depend on Working Models
                             Relationships
Attachment Model

Stability of Attachment Models over time




Impact on Relationships
                         Relationships
Narrative/Schema Model

      Stories are the scripts (event schemas) that we bring to our
                      interactions
              can apply to any type of relationship

      Based on our Relationship experiences (direct or indirect),
             with elements due to
                    Evolution, Attachment, Experience

      They are likely subject to revision, but may be somewhat
             resistant, we prefer to confirm, rather than alter

      Satisfaction may depend on events fitting the narrative
From Sternberg, Hojjat, &
Barnes, 2001
                          Relationships
Narrative/Schema Model

      Similarity of stories and satisfaction

      Stories for other relationships

             Friendship stories

             Work stories

             Family stories
                          Relationships
Evaluating Relationships - Relationship Maintenance

 General Guidelines
      Fairness - external comparisons and standards
             Greed
             Equality
             Equity
             Needs
         When would each be appropriate?

      Apply differently in Exchange vs. Communal
             Relationships and on different issues

      Expectations are enforced by „group‟
                         Relationships
Evaluating Relationships - Relationship Maintenance



 Personal Guidelines - internal standards and comparisons

              Comparison Level – satisfaction
                    based on past experiences

              Comparison Level for Alternatives (Clalt) – commitment
                    based on perceived potential experiences
                         Relationships
Evaluating Relationships - Relationship Maintenance

      Investment Model of Relationships (Rusbult, 1983)




        Fairness
                           Relationships
Evaluating Relationships – Life in the Committed Relationship

Integrating Information and Forming an Impression –

       Overcoming the Early Biases
       Confronting the Reality of the Other
       Commitment and Consistency

Process of Dealing with the Threatening Information

  Postulates of Story Telling
      Conclusion Drivenness – conclusions govern story elements
      Poetic License – interpret to mask negativity
      Least Effort – ignore early bad news, later may need effortful
                                                    contruals
                           Relationships
Evaluating Relationships – Life in the Committed Relationship

  Strategies - Techniques for Maintaining Narrative Integrity
               (more obvious in others than in self)

      Negativity and Situational Tagging – deny the disposition

      Reconstrual of Negativity – find virtue in the fault; re-label

      Re-fencing Faults – change importance

      Compensation – affirmation of other qualities
                           Relationships
Evaluating Relationships – Life in the Committed Relationship

  Strategies - Techniques for Maintaining Narrative Integrity
               (more obvious in others than in self)

      Negativity and Situational Tagging – deny the disposition
                                    blame the situation

      Reconstrual of Negativity – find virtue in the fault; re-label

      Re-fencing Faults – change importance to reduce impact

      Compensation – affirmation of other qualities
                          Relationships
Evaluating Relationships – Life in the Committed Relationship

  Resultant Outcome

      Idealization of the Other - Murray, Holmes & Griffin (1996)

              As you encounter the faults, strive to maintain
                     confidence in relationship

              Other may become more a “construction” of yours,
                     than a reality
                           Relationships
Evaluating Relationships – Life in the Committed Relationship

      Idealization of the Other - Miller, Niehuis & Huston (2006)

      Longitudinal study (13 years) of early idealization (n = 108)

              married 2 months – daily (9 days) diary reports of
                      agreeable/disagreeable behaviors

              Interviews – rated partner on agreeableness (7 qualities)

      Idealize when Ratings more positive than Behaviors

      Marital love – idealize early, less likely to decline
                          Relationships
Evaluating Relationships – Life in the Committed Relationship

      Knowing how your partner feels – Kenny & Acitelli (2001)
                                               Self
    Self – as the center of the personal psychological universe
                            Imposed
                                                Chosen       Imposed
              Chosen
                                                                           Chosen




         Chosen                         SELF
                                                                        Imposed


                                                               Chosen
                  Imposed

                                      Chosen       Imposed

Surrounded by others

         Chosen are those „attracted‟ into relationships
         Imposed are those who are part of one‟s life due to circumstances

         “Membership” constantly changing
                some short-term, others long-term
`               some situation specific, some more global presence
                some highly relevant to self, others nearly irrelevant to self
                                   Self
What are the abilities/skills that would be ideal to be a successful self?

                          Core Social Motives

Need to Belong – form meaningful relationships

   Need for Understanding – shared meaning and prediction

   Need for Control – see contingencies between behaviors
                           and outcomes

   Need to Self enhance – see self as worthy

   Need for Trust – have others you can depend on for help
                                     Self
What are the abilities/skills that would be ideal to be a successful self?

   identify motives and stable qualities in others and in contexts

   obtain valid information about self – from observing self and interpreting
        other‟s responses

   engage in accurate self analysis – interpret information and integrate

   engage in self regulation – monitor progress toward goals, avoid failures

   engage in self presentation – balance self expression with social
       appearance, avoid embarrassment

   engage in other deception – attract others in order to gain benefits,
       ingratiate

   engage in self deception – avoid or minimize self doubt and negative self
       feelings; regrets, shame, guilt, failure
                              Self
Elements of Self are like Attitude about Self {Self Evaluation}

  Self Esteem - affective, feelings/emotions associated with
                    self
  Self Concept – cognitive, beliefs/information about self

  Behavioral – behavioral intentions, self efficacy, competence
                                               Self
Self Concept
  Phenomenal (Working) Self Concept
       Guides
             Ideal self
             Ought self

                                         Self Concept

         self schema           self schema            self schema          self schema
     (Attachment Working Models)

 self schema   self schema self schema self schema   self schema self schema self schema   self schema
   student     best friend soccer player sibling       partner   party animal activist      red sox fan
                              Self
Finding Out About Self - developing self concept

      self attribution processes - interpretation of own
                      behaviors in contexts

      reflected appraisal - interpretations of others‟ responses

      self disclosure - reactions to revelations

      social comparison processes
                             Self
Dilemma of Seeking Self Understanding

  Self Evaluation vs. Self Presentation

      Truth - an accurate, objective assessment of
                   qualities/abilities

      Positive - a favorable, selective assessment that is
                    focused on the positive qualities
                          Self
Social Comparison Processes – Festinger

  Seeking Understanding

     Physical Reality

     Social Reality
                            Self
Social Comparison Processes -

  Multiple Goals can be met through comparison

     self appraisal - accuracy for understanding and
                   planning improvement

     self verification - confirm, consistency – increase
                     confidence

     self enhancement - achieve positive sense of self –
                 deal with threats to self
                            Self
Implications of Emphasis on Self (Blessing & Curse)

  Spotlight Effects

  Always Getting Better
                             Self
Self Esteem – feelings and emotions about the self

      assumed to be derived from the
         direct experiences of success/failure (competencies)
         self concept contents and consistency



  Given the “attitude” model being considered, recent
      controversies reflect the same issues about global
      versus specific attitudes and single versus dual attitudes
                             Self
Changing views of Self Esteem

  Swann, Chang-Schneider, & McClarty (2007)

      Suggests „self view‟ as reflecting affective and cognitive
           elements

        Self views can vary in strength, certainty, importance,
             clarity, accessibility, stability (like attitudes)

        Self views are specific to narrow areas of self concept,
             and are predictive of behaviors in that area
                             Self
Changing views of Self Esteem

  Crocker & Wolfe (2001) – Contingencies of Self Worth
      Based on James (1890) assumed that:
            Self esteem as a stable global evaluation
            Self esteem as a variable response to events

    Variations in reported self esteem will be greater when
      events occur that are relevant to areas of self worth
                            Self
Crocker, Luhtanen, Cooper, & Bouvrette (2003)
   Developed scale for use with college students – 7 common areas of self worth

External
   approval from others – how believe others in general approve of and accept
                 self
   appearance – physical appearance

   competition – being able to outperform others

   academic competence – instance of general category “competencies‟ – this
                  for students
   family support – approval and love from family

   virtue – moral adequacy, adherence to a moral code

   God‟s love – one is loved, valued in God‟s eyes
Internal
                             Self
Research on Contingencies of Self Worth

  Crocker, Luhtanen, Cooper & Bouvrette (2001, unpublished) -
            context effects

  Crocker & Wolfe (2001) – applicants to graduate school

  Luhtanen & Crocker (2005) – alcohol use

  Sargent, Crocker, & Luhtanen (2006) - depression
                             Self
Self Evaluation Maintenance – Tesser (1988)

  Surviving and Thriving “forced” social comparisons

      Comparisons with others increase with closeness
           - assumed or perceived psychological similarity

      Consequences of comparisons depend on relevance
           - is the quality important to your self identity

      Outcome of comparisons, when other is superior
           - reflection
           - comparison
                               Self
Self Evaluation Maintenance – Tesser

  Parent-Child relationships

  A Friend as your Worst Enemy

  Negotiating one‟s Identity

  Interacting with your Partner
                 Self Regulation and Control
Executive Function of Self – assess self and self goals, make choices,
  direction behaviors toward those goals, avoid distractions

   Self Regulation and Control – bringing behavior, thoughts, emotions
        into line with desired outcomes – requires monitoring and
        resisting alternatives, keeping focus

        Self Regulation uses resources, and these can be depleted
                - appears to function like a „muscle‟
                - weakens when depleted
                - must recover after use
                - can be strengthened with „exercise‟
                 Self Regulation and Control
Executive Function of Self – assess self and self goals, make choices,
  direction behaviors toward those goals, avoid distractions

   Self Regulation and Control –

        Stable differences – some people have stronger muscle



        Transient States – recent use leads to potential short term deficits
                 Self Regulation and Control
Executive Function of Self – assess self and self goals, make choices,
  direction behaviors toward those goals, avoid distractions

   Self Regulation and Control –

        Transient States – recent use leads to potential short term deficits



        Exercise of self regulation produces generalized „strength‟



        Glucose replacement can provide replenishment in the short-term

								
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