Death, Dying
and Grief
A Bible Study
Complied and Written by
Pastor Bob Bartel
THIS SOUL-SEARCHING STUDY IS FOR
MATURE CHRISTIANS ONLY, BUT IT IS
GUARANTEED TO STRENGTHEN YOUR
FAITH AND HOPE IN CHRIST AS YOU FACE
LIFE-AND-DEATH ISSUES!
A BIBLE STUDY ON…
DEATH, DYING & GRIEF, and…
HOW TO SERVE THOSE FACING THEM
(Compiled and written by Pastor Bob Bartel)
COURSE OUTLINE:
I. INTRODUCTION: Why study death and dying?
II. OUR SOCIETY & DEATH
III. DEATH & DYING ACCORDING TO GOD’S WORD
IV. STAGES OF DYING, AND MINISTRY TO THE DYING
V. STAGES OF GRIEVING, AND MINISTRY TO THE GRIEVING
VI. THE CHRISTIAN FUNERAL & IT’S ROLE IN GRIEF
Preparing Your Obituary
Planning Your Funeral
Preparing Your Will
Writing Letters for a Continued Witness
VII. DEATH RELATED ISSUES:
Organ Donation
Cremation
VIII. END OF LIFE-ISSUES:
Euthanasia and Physicians Aid-in-Dying (PAD)
“Living Will” & “Advanced Directives”
Suicide
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I. INTRODUCTION: WHY STUDY DEATH & DYING?
A. We are all _ _ _ _ _.
Today‟s Mortality Rate: ______%
The Average Life-Span of an American: (49.2 years in 1900)
Woman: _ _._ years (
Man: _ _._ years
World-wide Average: _ _._ years
Measure off 80 inches on a tape measure.
(National Vital Statistics System and National Center for Health Statistics.)
In another 60 years…
1 Samuel 20:3 - But David took an oath and said, ―Your father knows very
well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself,
‗Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.‘ Yet as surely as the
LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.‖
Hebrews 9:27-29 27 Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to
face judgment, 28 so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of
many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to
bring salvation to those who are waiting for him
B. So We Know the _ _ _ _ _ About Death and Dying.
John 17:17-19 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18 As
you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I
sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
False Teachings about Death:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Hebrews 9:27 Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to
face judgment….
“Ghosts” of the dead can “haunt” us (Medium, Ghost-Whisperer)
It‟s _ _ _‟_ fault!
Death is just a part of _ _ _ _ .
At death, we become _ _ _ _ _ _ .
The dead are still watching us who are still alive.
―I just know that ________ who died is smiling/watching over me/
sharing this special moment‖ (Award ceremonies, athletes, ….)
Revelation 14:13 Then I heard a voice from heaven say, ―Write:
Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.‖ ―Yes,‖ says the
Spirit, ―they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them‖
There are many _ _ _ _ _ to eternal life. (John 14:6)
Death as…THE _ _ _ .
Other false beliefs: ________________________________________
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C. So We Can Be _ _ _ _ From the Fear of Death.
John 8:31-32 31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ―If you
hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the
truth, and the truth will set you free.‖
Hebrews 2:14-15 14 Since the children have flesh and blood, he too
shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who
holds the power of death—that is, the devil— 15 and free those who all
their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death
Until this is true, we can‟t really _ _ _ _, being ready and willing to
take _ _ _ _ _ for others and make sacrifices for them.
D. So We Look To Our Coming Death With a Christian _ _ _ _ .
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as
you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the
Holy Spirit.
1 Peter 1:3-5 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!
In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the
resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that
can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through
faith are shielded by God‘s power until the coming of the salvation that is
ready to be revealed in the last time.
1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be
prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason
for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, …
E. So We Can Show Our Family and Others How to _ _ _ As a Child of
God Through Faith in Christ.
Romans 14:7-9 7 For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us
dies to himself alone. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die
to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this
very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of
both the dead and the living
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II. OUR SOCIETY AND DEATH.
America‟s Preoccupation with Death, Shown By…
A. Children:
1. _ _ _ _ _ _ : (Acting out or ―video-computer‖ based)
“Ring Around the Rosie” (bubonic plague with ring-like sore)
“Kill” the bad guys: cowboys-Indians, pirates, cops-criminals,
military-based.
2. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ :
They often send wrong and confusing messages: the dying
and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ rising of characters.
B. The News Media:
Stories related to death incidents are “_ _ _ news” getters.
(c _ _ _ _, w _ _, a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, d _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, celebrities….)
C. Entertainment:
Police shows aren‟t gripping enough without a _ _ _ _ _ _ .
Popular “action” or “horror” movies feature _ _ _ _ _.
(The revival of “vampire” shows with the “living dead”.)
Extreme and other sports where you “_ _ _ _ _” with death:
(Mixed Martial Arts fighting, car-racing, hang-gliding, skiing,
bungee-jumping, rock and mountain climbing, and…)
Video-computer games (“Call To Duty”, etc.)
D. Evidence of Society‟s Fear of Death:
Use of death- _ _ _ _ _ _ _ terms: “croaked”, “deceased”,
“departed”, “expired”, “gone”, “kicked the bucket”, “passed
away”, and _________________________________________.
Avoidance of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ bodies and attending visitations
and/or funerals, and many “shielding” children from death.
Treatment of the dying: although “hospice” at home seems to
be increasing, many are “sent” to institutions (nursing homes,
hospitals, hospice-houses, etc.) to die “out of sight”.
Institutional denial (embalming; concealing bodies carted
down the hall; using special elevators…)
Uncertainty of death‟s meaning and what lies “beyond” death.
Others: ______________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________.
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III. DEATH & DYING ACCORDING TO GOD’S WORD.
A. Death is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, but not “natural”, nor is it part of “life”.
Romans 5:12 Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man,
and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all
sinned….
Overheard at visitations/funerals…“He/she really looks `_ _ _ _’.
No, someone who has died looks “_ _ _ _”.
B. God‟s intent for us is _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _.
John 3:16 ―For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only
Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
C. Death is the inevitable and deserved result, punishment for, “wages”
of, and consequence of _ _ _ and disobedience.
Though God never intended for us to die, He just made the rule:
“You _ _ _, you die!
Genesis 2:15-17 15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the
Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the LORD God
commanded the man, ―You are free to eat from any tree in the garden;
17
but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for
when you eat of it you will surely die.
Ezekiel 18:20a The soul who sins is the one who will die….
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal
life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
James 1:15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and
sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
D. God‟s Grace for Us Who Are Dying:
1. A promised _ _ _ _ _ _ .
Genesis 3:15, 22-24 15 And I will put enmity between you and the
woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel.‖ 22 And the LORD God said, ―The man has
now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allow-
ed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and
live forever.‖ 23 So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden
to work the ground from which he had been taken. 24 After he drove the
man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and
a flaming sword flashing back & forth to guard the way to the tree of life
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2. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
John 5:28-29 28 ―Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all
who are in their graves will hear his voice 29 and come out—those who
have done good will rise to live, and those who have done evil will rise to
be condemned.
John 6:40 For my Father‘s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and
believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last
day.
1 Corinthians 15:51-52 (from the ―resurrection‖ chapter)
51
Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be
changed— 52 in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For
the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will
be changed.
E. Types of Death:
1. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Genesis 5:5 Altogether, Adam lived 930 years, and then he died.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 1 There is a time for everything, and a season
for every activity under heaven: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a
time to plant and a time to uproot….
Psalm 104:24.29 24 How many are your works, O LORD! In wisdom you
made them all; the earth is full of your creatures…. 29 When you hide your
face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and
return to the dust.
2. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Genesis 3:8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD
God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid
from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
Deuteronomy 30:19-20 19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses
against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and
curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that
you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.
For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he
swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
John 3:36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever
rejects the Son will not see life, for God‘s wrath remains on him.
John 5:24-26 24 ―I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and
believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he
has crossed over from death to life. 25 I tell you the truth, a time is coming
and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God
and those who hear will live. 26 For as the Father has life in himself, so he
has granted the Son to have life in himself.
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3. _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Matthew 10:28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill
the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body
in hell.
Matthew 25:41 ―Then he will say to those on his left, ‗Depart from me, you
who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
2 Thessalonians 1:9 They will be punished with everlasting destruction
and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his
power.
In the light of the above points, discuss the following statement:
“(Name) suffered a lot from his/her illness; now that he‘s/she‘s dead,
his/her suffering is over.‖ (Only if they…. believed in Jesus!)
F. What Happens at Death for a Believer in Christ…
1. Our _ _ _ _ _ _ returns to God.
Our _ _ _ _ returns to the ground.
Genesis 3:17, 19 17 To Adam he (God) said, ―Because you listened to
your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, `You
must not eat of it,‘ ―Cursed is the ground because of you; through
painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life…. 19 By the sweat of
your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since
from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.
Ecclesiastes 12:7 and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and
the spirit returns to God who gave it
Luke 23:43-46 43 Jesus answered him, ―I tell you the truth, today you
will be with me in paradise 44 It was now about the sixth hour, and
darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, 45 for the sun
stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46 Jesus
called out with a loud voice, ―Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.‖
When he had said this, he breathed his last.
Acts 7:59-60 While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed `Lord Jesus,
Jesus, receive my spirit.‖ 60 Then he fell on his knees & cried out, `Lord,
do not hold this sin against them.‘ When he had said this, he fell asleep.
2. Part of us is _ _ _ _ Christ.
Luke 23:39-43 39 One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at
him: ―Aren‘t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!‖ 40 But the other
criminal rebuked him. ―Don‘t you fear God,‖ he said, ―since you are
under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting
what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.‖ 42 Then
he said, ―Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.‖
43 Jesus answered him, ―I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in
paradise.‖
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2 Corinthians 5:8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away
from the body and at home with the Lord.
Philippians 1:21-24 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If
I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet
what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire
to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more
necessary for you that I remain in the body.
Example: A sick man said to his Christian doctor, ―Doc, I‘m afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side of death.‖ As he thought of his replay,
the doctor walked to his office door, on the other side of which came a
sound of scratching and whining. As he opened the door, a dog sprang
into the room and jumped up on him. Turning to his patient, the doctor
said, ―Look at my dog? He‘s never been in this room. He knew nothing
about it, except for one thing: He knew that his master was here, and
when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what‘s
on the other side of death, but I do know one thing…. I know my Master
is there, and that is enough.‖
3. We‟re with the “blessed” dead or those who died believing in Christ
Luke 16:22-23 22 ―The time came when the beggar died and the angels
carried him to Abraham‘s side. The rich man also died and was buried.
23
In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far
away, with Lazarus by his side.
4. Our “labors” or connection with this world and those still in it are
____.
Revelation 14:13 Then I heard a voice from heaven say, ―Write:
Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.‖ ―Yes,‖ says the
Spirit, ―they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.‖
G. What Will Happen on Judgment Day When Christ Returns as Judge:
_ _ _ the dead will be raised… believers to _ _ _ _, unbelievers to
________.
John 5:28-29 28 ―Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all
who are in their graves will hear his voice 29 and come out—those who
have done good will rise to live, and those who have done evil will rise to
be condemned.
Those who died believing in Christ will rise _ _ _ _ _ .
Believers still alive will be caught up with the “raised” believers in
order to _ _ _ _ and be _ _ _ _ the Lord.
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1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 13 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant
about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no
hope. 14 We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that
God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15
According to the Lord‘s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive,
who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who
have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven,
with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet
call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are
still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to
meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18
Therefore encourage each other with these words.
The bodies of believers will be _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
1 Corinthians 15:51-53 51 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all
sleep, but we will all be changed— 52 in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye,
at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised
imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For the perishable must clothe
itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.
We believers will have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ bodies that are imperishable
(unable to decay or die), glorious, and powerful, like _ _ _ _ _ .
1 Corinthians 15:42-44 42 So will it be with the resurrection of the dead.
The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; 43 it is sown
in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in
power; 44 it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a
natural body, there is also a spiritual body
We believers will have bodies that are like _ _ _ _ _‟ glorious body.
Philippians 3:20-21 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly
await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that
enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly
bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.
We believers will _ _ _ _ _ His heavenly kingdom by His grace.
Unbelievers will _ _ _ _ _ Christ‟s Presence – forever!
Matthew 25:34,41 34 ―Then the King will say to those on his right, ‗Come,
you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom
prepared for you since the creation of the world…. 41 ―Then he will say to
those on his left, ‗Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire
prepared for the devil and his angels…. 46 ―Then they will go away to
eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.‖
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H. What Jesus Christ Has Done to Death:
Turned it into _ _ _ _ _ from which He will awaken us.
John 11:11-13 11 After he had said this, he went on to tell them, ―Our
friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.‖
12 His disciples replied, ―Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.‖ 13 Jesus
had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant
natural sleep. 14 So he told them plainly, ―Lazarus is dead, 15 and for
your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us
go to him.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 13 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant
about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no
hope. 14 We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that
God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.
Removed death‟s _ _ _ _ _ or _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
1 Corinthians 15:54-57 54 When the perishable has been clothed with
the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is
written will come true: ―Death has been swallowed up in victory.‖ 55
Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?‖ The
sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to
God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Totally _ _ _ _ _ _ _ death.
1 Corinthians 15:20-26 20 But Christ has indeed been raised from the
dead, the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For since death
came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a
man. 22 For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 23 But
each in his own turn: Christ, the first-fruits; then, when he comes, those
who belong to him. 24 Then the end will come, when he hands over the
kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority
and power. 25 For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his
feet. 26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
I. Regarding “Near-Death” Experiences:
We sometimes here or believers and unbelievers alike describing
their “near-death” experience in which they felt themselves being
separated from their bodies and drawn toward a warm, bright “light”.
Including books like “90 Minutes in Heaven”, what “certain” hope do
such experiences give us? _ _ _ _ .
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Where does true “hope” come from? _ _ _ _ _ .
1 Peter 1:3-4 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!
In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the
resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that
can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through
faith are shielded by God‘s power until the coming of the salvation that is
ready to be revealed in the last time.
What “danger” is there in giving such experiences too much
attention or credibility?
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
How many times do we die “physically”? _ _ _ _ .
Hebrews 9:27 Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face
judgment….
In 1988, a movie based on the Mormon book, “Go Toward the Light”
described the experience of their dying (with AIDS) son and being
drawn toward a warm, glowing light. What warning does God give us
in His Word? ____________________________________________
__________________________________________________________.
1 Corinthians 11:14 And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as
an angel of light.
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IV. MINISTRY TO THE DYING: (Preparing them to face death.)
When should we begin to prepare others to face their death and the
death of those whom they love? When they‟re still _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 6 These commandments that I give you today are to
be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them
when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie
down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and
bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your
houses and on your gates.
How should we teach them to face death?
By speaking the _ _ _ _ _ in _ _ _ _ .
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things
grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
A. STAGES OF DYING: (From Edith Kubler Ross‘ book, ―On Death and Dying)
―Patients do not necessarily follow a classical pattern from denial to
acceptance. They may show two or three states simultaneously, and those
do not necessarily occur in the same order.‖
These common characteristics may be seen both in the person dying as well
as in the lives of those who are close to that individual.
STAGE 1: _ _ _ _ _ _ .
Here, the one dying has a desperate “hoping” that he or she will not
die. This is closely related to the _ _ _ _ that is described in:
Hebrews 2:14-15 14 Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared
in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the
power of death—that is, the devil— 15 and free those who all their lives were
held in slavery by their fear of death
_ _ _ _ _ also accompanies this stage.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Gently, speak the _ _ _ _ _ in love.
Point out that _ _ _ of us are dying because of our _ _ _.
Remind them that only _ _ _ knows _ _ _ _ they will die.
James 4:13-16 13 Now listen, you who say, ―Today or tomorrow we will
go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make
money.‖ 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What
is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanish-
es. 15 Instead, you ought to say, ―If it is the Lord‘s will, we will live and do
this or that.‖ 16 As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.
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Share how because Jesus rose from death and has broken its
power over us, they‟ll pass _ _ _ _ _ _ _ death, not remain in it.
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they
comfort me.
STAGE TWO: _ _ _ _ _ .
In this stage, the individual may lash out against _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _ _
like __________, _____________, and ____________, saying “Why,
God! Why me? Why now? What not someone else? It‟s not fair!”
Job 30:16-23 16 And now my life ebbs away; days of suffering grip me.
17 Night pierces my bones; my gnawing pains never rest. 18 In his great
power God becomes like clothing to me; he binds me like the neck of my
garment. 19 He throws me into the mud, and I am reduced to dust and
ashes. 20 ―I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but
you merely look at me. 21 You turn on me ruthlessly; with the might of
your hand you attack me. 22 You snatch me up and drive me before the
wind; you toss me about in the storm. 23 I know you will bring me down
to death, to the place appointed for all the living.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
_ _ _ _ _ _ to their anger.
Accept their anger without _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ with it.
Remind them, “God is so angry about sin that brings us into death,
He sent _ _ _ _ _ to break it‟s power over us.
STAGE THREE: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ WITH GOD.
Here, the person dying, in _ _ _ _ _ _ , attempts to _ _ _ _ _ or
postpone death, seeking a _ _ _ _ _ _ for good behavior.
―Lord, if you spare my life, I promise to….‖
This is different from King Hezekiah‟s response.
Isaiah 38:1-7 1 In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of
death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, ―This is what
the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die;
you will not recover.‖ 2 Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to
the LORD, 3 ―Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you
faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in
your eyes.‖ And Hezekiah wept bitterly. 4 Then the word of the LORD
came to Isaiah: 5 ―Go and tell Hezekiah, ‗This is what the LORD, the God
of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I
will add fifteen years to your life. 6 And I will deliver you and this city from
the hand of the king of Assyria. I will defend this city.‖
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MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Share how we can‟t give anything to God so that He “_ _ _ _” us.
Romans 11:33-36 33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and
knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths
beyond tracing out! 34 ―Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has
been his counselor?‖ 35 ―Who has ever given to God, that God should
repay him?‖ 36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To
him be the glory forever! Amen
STAGE 4: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
Here, as people grieve “coming” losses, they lose _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in
the outside world. They don‟t feel like doing “anything”.
2 Samuel 12:15-17 15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the
child that Uriah‘s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David
pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and
spent the nights lying on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood
beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would
not eat any food with them.
Isaiah 38:9-10, 13-15 9 A writing of Hezekiah king of Judah after his
illness and recovery: 10 I said, ―In the prime of my life must I go through the
gates of death and be robbed of the rest of my years?‖ 11 I said, ―I will not
again see the LORD, the LORD, in the land of the living; no longer will I
look on mankind, or be with those who now dwell in this world. 12 Like a
shepherd‘s tent my house has been pulled down and taken from me.
Like a weaver I have rolled up my life, and he has cut me off from the
loom; day and night you made an end of me. 13 I waited patiently till dawn,
but like a lion he broke all my bones; day and night you made an end of
me. 14 I cried like a swift or thrush, I moaned like a mourning dove. My
eyes grew weak as I looked to the heavens. I am troubled; O Lord, come
to my aid!‖ 15 But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and he himself
has done this. I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of
my soul.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Share with them God‟s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ that offer the dying _ _ _ _ to
be received by faith.
Luke 18:28-30 28 Peter said to him, ―We have left all we had to follow
you!‖ 29 ―I tell you the truth,‖ Jesus said to them, ―no one who has left
home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom
of God 30 will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the
age to come, eternal life.‖
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Romans 8:37-39 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors
through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor
life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, now
any powers, 39 … nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate
us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, 16-18 13 Brothers, we do not want you to be
ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who
have no hope. 14 We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we
believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
16
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud
command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of
God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still
alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to
meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18
Therefore encourage each other with these words.
STAGE FIVE: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
At this stage, those who are dying, reluctantly but with a sense of
peace, _ _ _ _ _ _ their coming death while continuing to live their
life intensely.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Assure them of their risen Lord‟s plan for them: to help them to be
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ and to bring them safely into his heavenly _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Philippians 4:11-13 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I
have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12… I have
learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether
well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do
everything through him who gives me strength.
2 Timothy 4:6-8, 18 6 For I am already being poured out like a drink
offering, and the time has come for my departure. 7 I have fought the good
fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store
for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge,
will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have
longed for his appearing….. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil
attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory
for ever and ever. Amen
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B. Tips For Ministering to the Dying and Their Loved Ones:
1. If a person appears to be dying, it‟s not a question of “whether” to
tell them that they‟re dying, but _ _ _ to tell them.
Ephesians 4:15, 25, 29 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all
things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ…. 25 Therefore each
of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are
all members of one body…..29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of
your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
A person deserves to be told how seriously ill they are so that they can
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ for their death, a life-long process for a Christian.
2. Avoid telling someone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (in terms of a specific number of
days, weeks, months) they have to live. Avoid trying to _ _ _ _ God.
Psalm 31:1-2, 5, 9-10, 14-16 1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me
never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. 2 Turn your ear to
me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to
save me…. 5 Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the
God of truth. 9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes
grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. 10 My life is
consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because
of my affliction…. 14 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, ―You are my God.‖
15
My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those
who pursue me. 16 Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your
unfailing love
Isaiah 55:8-9 8 ―For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your
ways my ways,‖ declares the LORD. 9 ―As the heavens are higher than the
earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your
thoughts.
James 4:13-16 13 Now listen, you who say, ―Today or tomorrow we will go to
this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.‖ 14
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life?
You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead,
you ought to say, ―If it is the Lord‘s will, we will live and do this or that.‖ 16 As
it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.
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3. Avoid leaving the dying _ _ _ _ _ just because death makes you feel
uncomfortable. Remember the urging of God‟s Word…
Matthew 25:36 `I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you
looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.‘
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn
Philippians 2:4-7 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that
of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality
with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the
very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
4. Be willing to let those who are dying to express their _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
about dying. Avoid telling them, “Don’t say that!”; “You don’t really
mean that!”; You’re not going to die!” Remember…
Psalm 32:1-6 1 Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose
sins are covered. 2 Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count
against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. 3 When I kept silent, my bones
wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your
hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of
summer. 5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my
iniquity. I said, ―I will confess my transgression to the LORD‖ – and you
forgave the guilt of my sin. 6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to
you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will
not reach him.
Quote: As Christians, ―Our comfort begins at the cross. We provide care to
suffering people when we allow them their cries of forsakenness (Psalm
22:1) We don‘t have to pretty up dying with false hopes about ―the tests
coming out all right.‖ Suffering makes us uncomfortable, so we end up
comforting ourselves, not the patient.
Rather than tell you dying loved on story after story of people‘s miracle cures,
why not face the deep grief of losing that dear one? Why not talk over old
times? Why not tell her [him] how much you‘ll miss her [him]? Why not
communicate with her with your tears? Why not hold her? Why not hear
her? What not hold her agony in your hands for a few minutes by acknow-
ledging it? Why not pray the Psalms of Lament [sorrow] together? What not
bring along others from the community of faith and sing some hymns?
What made [the patient] feel better? False promises of getting well?
Desperate stories of cure? Plastic smiles? No! What relieved her was
someone hearing and marking her misery. And what happened? It made her
feel less alone. She was sustained by God and God‘s care-giver. She was
comforted with the comfort of God.‖ (Taken from: “Comfort in the Face of Death” ,
The Lutheran Witness, by Chaplain Paul D. Steinke of New York University Medical
Center in Manhattan.)
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Holding in or keeping intense feelings to yourself can be _ _ _ _ _ _ _,
physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
5. Give them words of _ _ _ _. Lasting hope cannot come from us who
are _ _ _ _ dying because of our sin. It only comes from God and His
_ _ _ _. Hope is not merely living longer on this earth, but the certainty
that by faith in our risen Lord, Jesus, we‟ll enjoy eternal life‟s fullness
with God in heaven after our death. Some of those promises include…
Job 19:25-27 25 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will
stand upon the earth. 26 And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my
flesh I will see God; 27 I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not
another. How my heart yearns within me.
Psalms: 23, 42, 46,
Psalm 73:23-27 23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
24
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
25
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides
you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalms: 91, 121, 130, 139:1-14
Matthew 28:1-10, 18-20 (Jesus‘ rising on Easter)
Luke 2:15-35 (Simon… ―Now dismiss – let die – your servant in peace….‖)
Luke 24 (Jesus‘ rising on Easter)
John 3:16-18; 6:35-40 (―I will raise him up….‖)
John 10:27-29 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow
me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch
them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater
than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father‘s hand.
John 11:1-44; 14:1-6 (―I go to prepare a place…where I am you may be also)
John 14:19, 27 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you
Will see me. Because I live, you also will live…. 27 Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your
hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 20:19-31 (Easter evening, and Thomas a week later.)
Romans 5:1-5 (Good news and surprising news.)
Romans 6:23 (―…the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus….‖)
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Romans 8:18-39 (various verses) 18 I consider that our present sufferings
are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 The
creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed…. 22
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of child-
birth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have
the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption
as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But
hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 28 And we
know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who
have been called according to his purpose…. 31 What, then, shall we say in
response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not
spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along
with him, graciously give us all things? …. 35 Who shall separate us from the
love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or naked-
ness or danger or sword?.... 37 No, in all these things we are more than
conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither
death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers, 39 …nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate
us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 15: especially 1-8, 12-28, 35-38, 42-58 (Resurrection chapter)
1 Peter 1:3-9 (―…a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ….‖)
Revelation 2:10b ….Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give
you the crown of life.
Revelation 21:1-7 1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first
heaven and the first earth had passed away…. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new
Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride
beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the
throne saying, ―Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with
them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their
God. 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or
mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.‖ 5
He who was seated on the throne said, ―I am making everything new!‖ Then
he said, ―Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.‖
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V. CHRISTIANS AND GRIEF:
Definition: Grief is the reaction to the _ _ _ _ of someone or something
that is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to us. If the loss is great, a part of the foundation of
our life may be shaken. Keep in mind Jesus‟ promises to us:
Matthew 7:24-29 24 ―Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and
puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The
rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that
house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But
everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is
like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the
streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a
great crash.‖
Causes: Grief may be caused by the loss of:
________________, ________________, ________________, _____________,
_____________, _______________, _______________, or _______________.
Grief’s Compatibility with Faith:
T or F… Grief is compatible with our faith in Christ.
John 11:32-38 32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and
saw him, she fell at his feet and said, ―Lord, if you had been here, my
brother would not have died.‖ 33 when Jesus saw her weeping, and the
Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in
spirit and troubled. 34 ―Where have you laid him?‖ he asked. ―Come and
see, Lord,‖ they replied. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then the Jews said, ―See how
he loved him!‖ 37 But some of them said, ―Could not he who opened the
eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?‖ 38 Jesus, once
more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid
across the entrance.
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who
mourn.
1 Thessalonians 4:13 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about
those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.
(Story of small girl who “comforted” a crying friend by her presence)
There are/are not things worth grieving about as humans, especially
things like…________________________________________________.
There are healthy and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ways to grieve.
When speaking with someone who is grieving, avoid saying, “I know
just how you feel!” Only _ _ _ completely understands how they feel.
Psalm 139:1 & 4 ―O LORD, you have searched me and you know me….
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
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A Key Factor Affecting the Way One Grieves:
A _ _ _ _ _ relationship with _ _ _ _ _ or a lack of it is the key factor
that determines how we grieve the loss of someone/something dear
to us.
2 Timothy 1:7-12 7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a
spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do not be ashamed to
testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in
suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, 9 who has saved us and
called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but
because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ
Jesus before the beginning of time, 10 but it has now been revealed
through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed
death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.
11
And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a
teacher. 12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed,
because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able
to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.
Those with faith find that experiencing a loss is a _ _ _ _ _ _
experience by which their _ _ _ _ _ is re-examined & strengthened.
Romans 5:1-5 1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we
have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we
have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And
we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also
rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance [endurance] ; 4 perseverance, character; and character,
hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out
his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
With God‟s blessing described in Romans 8:28, working through
grief can be _ _ _ _ .
STAGES OF GRIEF:
There seem to be ten stages of grief that people go through as they face
a significant loss in their life. Yet, not all people go through all the, nor do
they necessarily experience them in the order presented here. At times, it
may be impossible to clearly differentiate between these stages:
STAGE 1: _ _ _ _ _.
A temporary escape or “amnesia” from reality (lasting a few hours to
several days) until the griever is ready to move on to the next stage.
One often has a sense of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and has not fully understood
the reality of their loss.
If prolonged, it can be harmful to one‟s health.
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MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
The griever may need _ _ _ _ _ _ _ attention.
Make yourself _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to the person affected for when their
strong exterior breaks down.
Encourage them to keep _ _ _ _ and to _ _ some things for
themselves.
STAGE 2: Expressing _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
God gave us _ _ _ _ glands to use in releasing pent-up feelings.
Holding in feelings and repressing and bottling them up inside can
be harmful, leading to an ulcer, a nervous breakdown, or worse.
_ _ _ _ _ _ is not a sign of weakness, but it shows our _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _,
that the person or thing we have lost was important to us.
Psalm 32:1-5 (David – see page 16, point 4)
Psalm 42:1-3 (David) 1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul
pants for you, O God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When
can I go and meet with God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long, ―Where is your God?‖
John 11:32-36 (Jesus – see page 19)
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
If they are embarrassed to grieve publicly, encouraged them to
do so in private.
Provide an _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ atmosphere in which they can
release their pent-up feelings.
STAGE 3: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and Loneliness.
One may feel as if God is far away, no longer in heaven, or
doesn‟t _ _ _ _.
There seems to be a wall between the griever and God &
______.
Similar feelings are found expressed in:
Psalm 22:1-2 1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why
Are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?
2
O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am
not silent.
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Psalm 42:5-6, 9-11 5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so
disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my
Savior and 6 my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will
remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon….7
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and
breakers have swept over me. 8 By day the LORD directs his love, at
night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life. 9 I say to God
my Rock, ―Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?‖ 10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes
taunt me, saying to me all day long, ―Where is your God?‖
Psalm 130 1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD; 2 O Lord, hear my
voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. 3 If you, O LORD,
kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? 4 But with you there is
forgiveness; therefore you are feared. 5 I wait for the LORD, my soul
waits, and in his word I put my hope. 6 My soul waits for the Lord more
than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the
morning. 7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is
unfailing love and with him is full redemption. 8 He himself will redeem
Israel from all their sins
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Gently, but confidently assure them of God‟s _ _ _ _ and that their
feeling with _ _ _ _ .
Point them to the _ _ _ _ described in:
Isaiah 40:28-31 28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is
the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow
tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives
strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths
grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who
hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like
eagles (picture); they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not
be faint.
1 Peter 5:6-11 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God‘s mighty
hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him
because he cares for you. 8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the
devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9
resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers
throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10 And
the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after
you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you
strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever.
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Stage 4: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Symptoms.
One may experience all kinds of _ _ _ _ _ _ aches.
Though real, some of these are actually psychosomatic, brought on
by their _ _ _ _.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Have them get a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ check-up by a doctor.
Urge them to see a trained counselor with whom they can
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ and work through their feelings of loss.
Urge them discuss with their pastor or Christian friend how their
faith in _ _ _ _ _ applies.
Stage 5: _ _ _ _ _.
Here, grievers find it hard to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ on anything, with
their attention constantly drawn toward what was lost.
There is a tendency to make quick, drastic lifestyle _ _ _ _ _ _ _ that
aren‟t carefully thought-through and later regretted.
During this time, the griever is at risk of becoming a victim whom
others will take advantage of.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Fix your mind on Jesus and present a _ _ _ _ demeanor to the panic-
stricken griever.
Assure them that this feeling will _ _ _ _ .
Remind them that they don‟t have to make many or drastic
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ in their lifestyle right now, and that it‟s OK to take time
to decide things for themselves.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ them from those who‟d take advantage of them,
Urge them be open to _ _ _ relationships and to think _ _ _ thoughts
because the Lord has new mercies every day.
Lamentations 3:22-25, 31-32 22 Because of the LORD‘s great love we
are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every
morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, ―The LORD is my
portion; therefore I will wait for him.‖ …26 it is good to wait quietly for the
salvation of the LORD. …31 For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. 32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing
love. 33 For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of
men.
Psalms 23 and 46;
Matthew 28:20 …and teaching them to obey everything I have command-
ed you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
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Philippians 4:6-7 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Hebrews 13:6-8 6 So we say with confidence, ―The Lord is my helper; I
will not be afraid. What can man do to me?‖ 7 Remember your leaders,
who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of
life and imitate their faith. 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today
and forever.
Stage 6: _ _ _ _ _ about one’s loss.
Here, the griever remembers hurting or neglecting to help the one
who has been lost through death or conflict.
Some guilt is reasonable, giving an opportunity for _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
1 John 1:8-9 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the
truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will
forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
James 4:17 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for
each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is
powerful and effective.
Neurotic guilt is feeling guilt out of proportion to what we did or
failed to do for the person who died.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Point them to Jesus‟ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Psalm 32:1-5 (see page 16, point 4); Psalm 51
Psalm 103:1-3, 10-13 1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost
being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not
all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases…
7
He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
8
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in
love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10
he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our
iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is
his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so
far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father has
compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who
fear him.
Psalm 130 (see page 22)
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Isaiah 53:6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned
to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
John 1:29 The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said,
―Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!‖
John 20:23 If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not
forgive them.
Acts 2:38-39 38 Peter replied, ―Repent and be baptized, every one of you,
in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will
receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 The promise is for you and your
children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call,
they are not forgiven.
1 Timothy 1:15 15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full
acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I
am the worst.
Guilt is healthy when it brings us to admit our sinful condition and
drives us to the _ _ _ _ _ of Jesus. Here we have the privilege and
responsibility to announce God‟s forgiveness of sin, no matter how
great that sin is or seems to be.
Stage 7: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ or Resentment.
Here, the griever reacts in a way similar to the feeling of _ _ _ _ _ in
one who is dying.
The grieving person may be angry with _ _ _ for their loss.
They may also be very critical of anyone who is perceived as having
had a hand in their loss, including doctors, nurses, EMTs, and other
medical personnel.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Allow them to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ their anger in a healthy way without
encouraging them to show hostility.
Ephesians 4:26-27 26 ―In your anger do not sin‖. Do not let the sun go
down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
Once their anger is out in the open, it can be _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and
overcome by the grace of God.
Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Avoid trying to talk the person out of the way they _ _ _ _ by saying,
“Oh, you don‟t really mean that …feel that way!”
Serve them by _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to their feelings and helping them
confess them and recognized Jesus‟ forgiveness.
-26-
Help them realize that their loss is a consequence of _ _ _ (Romans
6:23) and that God loves them so much and is so angry with sin that
caused their loss that He gave them His _ _ _ (John 3:16) to bring
them back to eternal life with Him.
Stage 8: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to Return to Usual Activities.
Here, the griever finds it hard to get back to business as usual.
One avoids doing what they used to do _ _ _ _ the deceased.
Often, the griever also avoids doing things with those who were
especially _ _ _ _ _ to the one now gone.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Encourage them to return to their _ _ _ _ _ activities.
Help them understand that some acquaintances may _ _ _ _ _
speaking about the person who died.
Try to keep the _ _ _ _ _ _ of their loved one alive, showing that their
loved one is still remembered.
Hebrews 11 (God’s ―Who’s Who‖ of faith.)
Hebrews 12:1-3 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great
cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that
so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out
for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and
sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who
endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary
and lose heart
Allow them to work through their grief in an _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
environment.
Galatians 6:2 Carry each other‘s burdens, and in this way you will
fulfill the law of Christ.
Stage 9: _ _ _ _ comes through.
Here, the griever finds that _ _ _ is not lost.
One learns that experiences in their life are still _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
without the person no longer with them.
With the Lord, we grieve in hope.
Psalm 16:11 11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill
me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Lamentations 32:22-24 22 Because of the LORD‘s great love we are not
consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, ―The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.‖
-27-
Stage 10: Affirming _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Here, the griever faces the fact that life will never be the _ _ _ _ again,
but there is still much in life worth living for.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15 14 For Christ‘s love compels us, because we are
convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for
all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him
who died for them and was raised again
Galatians 3:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of
God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
MINISTRY TO THOSE IN THIS STAGE:
Point out the great blessings they still possess.
God is still _ _ _ _ us!
Psalm 46:1, 4-7 1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help
in trouble…. 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will
not fall; God will help her at break of day….7 The LORD Almighty is with
us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Eternal life is still ours in _ _ _ _ _ _ !
John 6:47 I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting
life.
Christ has given us a mission to be his _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _
for him who died for us and was raised again.
Matthew 5:14, 16 14 ―You are the light of the world…. 16 … let your light
shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your
Father in heaven.
Matthew 28:18-20 (Making disciples by baptizing and teaching.)
Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you;
and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria,
and to the ends of the earth
Romans 14:7-9 7 For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us
dies to himself alone. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die
to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this
very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord
of both the dead and the living.
Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all
in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through
him.
-28-
VI. THE CHRISTIAN FUNERAL AND ITS ROLE IN GRIEF.
A. “Funeralization” includes all activities from the time of death until
one‟s family and friends have completed their help-supporting tasks
and returned to their daily activities. This process - usually taking
5-7 days but can last longer-plays an important role in grief resolution
B. Purpose of Funeralization:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ the _ _ _ _ helps erase denial of our loss and leads
us to accept the reality of our loss while helping to provide a
sense of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . Often, it initiates our expressing emotion.
Making _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ often puts grievers
into contact with a _ _ _ _ _ _ and faith-family who…
Blessings of a “Christian” Funeral:
It puts our loss into God‟s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ perspective, providing a
chance to express the truth of God‟s judgment on _ _ _ while
assuring our certain hope of eternal life by _ _ _ _ _ in Christ.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is
eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:19 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth
comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us:
It helps the grieving reassess their _ _ _ _ _ - relationship with
God as they consider their own approaching death.
John 11:25-27 25 Jesus said to her [Martha], ―I am the resurrection
and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26
and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe
this?‖ 27 ―Yes, Lord,‖ she told him, ―I believe that you are the Christ,
the Son of God, who was to come into the world.
John 20:27-31 27 Then he said to Thomas, ―Put your finger here; see
my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting
and believe.‖ 28 Thomas said to him, ―My Lord and my God!‖ 29 Then
Jesus told him, ―Because you have seen me, you have believed;
blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.‖ 30 Jesus
did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples,
which are not recorded in this book. 31 But these are written that you
may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by
believing you may have life in his name.
It provides a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - group to aid us in resolving grief.
1 Corinthians 12:26-27 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with
it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27 Now you are the
body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
It assures us that _ _ _ is not lost, and that there is still much to
live for here on earth. -29-
1. THE OBITUARY: (It‟s Purposes)
A. THE “GENERAL” OBITUARY…
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ the community of one‟s death.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ people to support those who are grieving.
Gives the chance to begin expressing feelings of loss/guilt
in a public way.
B. A “CHRISTIAN” OBITUARY…
is a way to express your _ _ _ _ _ in the Triune God.
Witnesses to the _ _ _ _ God gives us in Christ.
Consider what witness (Acts 1:8) it will have on those reading it.
Emphasize what God has _ _ _ _ for you in Christ, not what
you‟ve done in response to His love. You may include your…
Baptism date: “Was received into God’s kingdom and
joined to Christ through holy baptism on…”
Marriage date: “Entered the oneness of God’s institution of
marriage with… on ….”
Confirmation date: “Was blessed by God to make a public
confession of Christ in the rite of confirmation on…,
choosing _______________ (verse) as his/her life-guiding
verse.”
Date of death: “His/her spirit was received by God at death
on….”
Request for Memorials: “In lieu of flowers or gifts to the
family, memorials may be given to _________ church,
LCMS Board for Mission Services, Mission Central,
Lutheran Hour Ministries, Lutheran Women’s Missionary
League, Lutheran Bible Translators, LCMS World Relief…”
or another Christian mission outreach of your choice.
Include a favorite Bible passage that expresses your hope
in Christ.
-30-
2. PLANNING YOUR OWN FUNERAL:
We plan for most things in life, including ________, ________,
__________, ___________, _____________, _____________.
Why not help prepare/plan your own funeral to ensure a
_ _ _ _ _ _ - centered emphasis to express your hope in Jesus‟
promises of resurrection and gift of eternal life.
Place your “funeral wishes” in an accessible place (not locked-
box in bank) which others (like family members and the
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ of your estate) know about.
Remembering that a Christian funeral is a “_ _ _ _ _ _ _” service,
things to include might be…
Christ–centered _ _ _ _ _ (not man-centered/sentimental songs)
that proclaim the works and promises of our risen Lord. (―My
Hope is Built on Nothing Less‖; ―Christ Be My Leader‖;
―What a Friend We Have in Jesus‖; ―I Know That My Redeemer
Lives‖; ―Abide with Me‖; and many more.) Other “favorite” songs
can be shared at a reception/family gathering after the service.
A favorite/confirmation Bible verse.
Several Scripture readings: (Just a few are listed!)
Old Testament: Job 19:25-26; Psalm 23; 27; 46; 73:23-28; 90;121
Epistle: Romans 8:28-39; 1 Cor. 15:42-57; 1 Thess. 4:13-18.
Gospel: Luke 2:25-32; John 3:16-18; 6:35-40; 14:1-6.
A Christ-centered “solo/duet/choir piece”.
A _ _ _ _ for your funeral message (perhaps your confirmation
or other verse that meant much for your faith).
A list of your pall-bearers.
A personal letter, written in advance, of your hope in Christ.
Instead of having a eulogy (good-word), family and friends
might say a few words about you in a meal-reception or family
gathering after your funeral service.
If included in the service, the eulogy should not focus on one‟s
“goodness” or exaggerate: “He/she was `always‟ kind; „never‟
said an unkind word about others….” It should not imply that
what “you/they” have done were “good works” done apart
from God‟s grace. Share examples of your “expressed” faith.
If possible, try to hold the service in your home-church where
you regularly worshipped with your “faith-family”.
Choose a Christian epitath/symbol (+) for your grave _ _ _ _ _ _
-31-
3. PREPARING YOUR WILL:
According to …
Psalm 24:1 The earth is the LORD‘s, and everything in it, the world,
and all who live in it.
God is Owner of all, yet He gives us the privilege of managing
what belongs to Him for His purposes.
Besides managing what God has placed into your care after your
death, a will can be an effective witness to your faith in Christ.
As you write your will, consider including…
An introductory paragraph expressing your hope in God‟s
forgiving love and gift of eternal life in Jesus.
A request that those gathered for the reading of your will begin
with a prayer and saying the Apostle‟s Creed together.
A request that those inheriting your estate give a specified __
to some Gospel outreach-mission of your/their choice.
An encouragement to those inheriting your estate (children,
siblings) to support one another and to avoid quarreling.
A _ _ _ _ of who will receive certain items of your estate, such
as jewelry, special keepsakes, etc.
A request to close the reading of the will with the Lord‟s
Prayer spoken together by those present.
4. LETTERS TO LOVED ONES:
Why not write now (and update yearly) letters to your spouse
children or special friend or relation a letter that can be read after
your death …
On the first Christmas or Easter after your death.
On the anniversary of your birthday, baptism, or death-date.
Your wedding anniversary.
Notify your loved ones/friends of the existence and whereabouts
of these letters. In them, point them to God‟s unfailing love in
Jesus, His Son.
-32-
VII. DEATH-RELATED ISSUES:
1. ORGAN DONATION:
There is nothing inherently wrong with donating one‟s organs for
transplant into those who are seriously ill. Even after our death, our
faith can show the truth of Christ‟s words:
John 15:12-13 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved
you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his
friends.
Romans 14:7-8 7 For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies
to himself alone. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the
Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
2. CREMATION:
A. Its Origin:
The Roman philosopher, Plato, and others like the Gnostics
taught that “souls” fell from eternal “Nous-Mind” and were
trapped in a bodies which were “evil”.
Some believed that burning a corpse would free one‟s soul from
its “prison”(like a bird from a cage) to return to “eternal Mind”
(Plato) /the place of the blessed dead (Celts, Vikings, others.)
Eastern religions like Buddhism and Hinduism teach that
“released” souls enter into another body (reincarnation) to
gradually work their way (work-righteousness) toward some
sense of __________. (“The Beatles” George Harrison.)
Some unbelievers use cremation as a exclamation point against
the truth of “resurrection of the dead: ―Scatter my ashes over the
ocean, on land, or in space, and let‘s see God raise that!‖
B. Is it “good” or “sinful” for Christians to be cremated?
Most Old Testament believers (like Abraham, Moses, and others)
were buried.
The early Christian Church discouraged cremation as a pagan
practice of those denying the resurrection of the dead.
Burial is a visible “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _” our Christian belief in
Jesus‟ return, ―…the resurrection of the body (―the Lord isn’t done
with my body!‖) and the life everlasting.‖ (Apostles’ Creed)
Yet, there really is nothing inherently wrong with it as long as it‟s
_ _ _ a statement against or rejection of the Bible‟s teaching of
the resurrection of the body.
Cremation merely speeds up the process of bodily _ _ _ _ _
described in God‟s Word:
Genesis 3:19 – ―By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food
until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust
you are and to dust you will return.‖
-33-
C. Reasons Why Some Christians Prefer Cremation…
It “costs _ _ _ _” than a traditional funeral.
It takes up less land & cemetery space than caskets & vaults.
An oven is a clean, efficient way to return a body to the ground
With our American “mobility”, a family can take a loved one‟s
“remains” with them when moving to a new locality.
(―Have ___________, will travel.‖)
If a Christian chooses to be cremated, it‟s helpful to provide a
visitation so grievers can view their body to get _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
D. Will cremation prevent the “resurrection” of the body as promised
in the Scriptures and confessed in our creeds?
John 5:28-29 28 ―Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming
when all who are in their graves will hear his voice 29 and come out—
those who have done good will rise to live, and those who have done
evil will rise to be condemned.
1 Corinthians 15:42-44 42 So will it be with the resurrection of the
dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; 43
it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is
raised in power; 44 it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual
body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.
Revelation 20:11-15 11 Then I saw a great white throne and him who
was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was
no place for them. 12 And I saw the dead, great and small, standing
before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was
opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to
what they had done as recorded in the books. 13 The sea gave up the
dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were
in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done.
14
Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of
fire is the second death. 15 If anyone‘s name was not found written in
the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.
Nothing that happens to our bodies in life or after death will keep
our Almighty and risen Lord, Jesus Christ from raising those
bodies back to life, changing them into “spiritual” bodies, and
making them “fit” for heaven.
-34-
VII. END OF LIFE ISSUES:
A. Ministering to Those Who Want to Die:
When in pain, confused, or full of frustration, our view of God‟s
nature can become blurred or distorted. Instead of seeing Him as
our loving and forgiving Lord, we may think He is treating us in an
arbitrary, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ manner.
Some who are very old, who have outlived their family, or who are
unable to “move” and are completely dependent on others may ask,
“Why doesn’t Jesus just take me home? My life just doesn’t seem to
have any _ _ _ _ _ _ _.” Below are some possible responses:
“__________, God’s Word tells you that God “… love [s] you with an
everlasting love.” He loved you even before He made you inside your
mother. He knows your suffering and He feels your pain. Jesus has
an eternal purpose for your final days. When the time is right He’ll
come for you and bring you to Himself in heaven. As you pray, tell
Him how you’re feeling, but also trust that He is the Lord and ask for
continuing faith to wait for Him.”
Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ―I have
loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,‖ declares the LORD,
―plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for
the LORD.
“_________, I don’t know exactly what the Lord is doing in your life.
But when you are weak and dependent on others, your weakness
gives others a chance to live out their faith in Christ by caring for
you, and it gives you a chance to share your hope that, for Jesus’
sake, God is carrying you through these days and that He will carry
them, too, no matter how tough it gets.”
1 Corinthians 12:26-27 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if
one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27 Now you are the body of
Christ, and each one of you is a part of it
Our Weakness: a Visual Reminder of our Total Dependence on God.
7 year old Nametso of Botswana was 35 lbs, blind, deaf, mute, had
cerebral palsy, and curled up in a fetal position. Her whole family
took turns being with, feeding, cleaning, and protecting her.
Those like Nametso or those who are extremely weak, handicapped
or in a coma - completely dependent on others to care for them - are
a visual reminder of how _ _ are before _ _ _ - totally dependent on
His grace to give us life, one day at a time.
-35-
B. Giving “Permission” for the Dying to Depart:
When you‟re with a dying Christian, it‟s helpful to clarify the meaning
of what they‟ve said if possible. When a dying person says, “It’s time
to go,” don‟t assume they‟re speaking about the moment of death or
about their immediate setting. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ their statement with the
question,“_______, It’s time to go where? Where are you going?”
When a loved one is close to death and you‟ve said all that you want
tell them, there comes a point where you need to let them know that
it‟s _ _ for them to leave you and be “with the Lord.”
As she stood by her bedside, one daughter took her mother‟s hand
and said, “I love you, Mom. We’ve had a great life together. But now
it’s time for you to go and be with Jesus. I will see you soon.” Within
a few minutes, her mother died peacefully. (From the book, Stepping
Into Eternity by Rev. Thomas Parrish.)
C. When Speaking to Someone in a Coma:
Remember, they can still “_ _ _ _” and “feel” human touch.
Avoid saying what you wouldn‟t want them to _ _ _ _.
Talk with them as if they were looking you in the eye.
Use every opportunity to share Jesus‟ promises with them.
The Lord will use your witness with them or others who are present!
-36-
D. DEATH WITH DIGNITY, OR DEATH WITH PROMISE?
We do our best to manage death. We desire death “with dignity” –
on “our” terms. If death can‟t be avoided, we want to at least control
the time and place, taking our own life before it can be taken from us.
We Christians speak to the dying a word of hope so they can “…die
in peace, for the death that really counts, Jesus’ death for sin and
our death to sin, has already happened. It’s not about death with
dignity but death with promise.” (Rev. John T. Pless)
Terms Used by Proponents of Euthanasia:
“euthanasia” means ―good-beautiful death‖ or ―dying well‖.
In contrast, dying “well” for us Christians means dying with a
_ _ _ _ _ _, baptismal faith that has joined us to Jesus.
“mercy-killing” (Since when is ―killing‖ an act of mercy?
Euthanasia is a deliberate action taken to cause or hasten death,
either directly as with a lethal injection or overdose of medication
(like ―morphine‖ that slows breathing) or indirectly by withholding
basic medical care or standard medical treatment.)
“quality of life” (Since when does ―quality‖ determine the
preciousness of God’s gift of life in any form?
“death with dignity”(When is death ―dignified‖ and not our
_ _ _ _ _?
“right to die” (We have _ _ ―rights‖ before God, especially when it
comes to ―wanting‖ to die.
Medical Terms:
Medical treatment (aimed at curing or controlling acute or chronic
health problems.) The best interests of the patient need to be
considered when treatment becomes medically futile or the
burden of treatment outweighs its benefits (e.g.: a ventilator or
side-effects from chemotherapy).]\
Standard treatment: therapy like medication or surgery to relieve
Health conditions and problems due to illness or injuries.
Aggressive treatment: for advanced or serious conditions.
American “Characteristics” That Influence Euthanasia:
We run on a timetable, wanting ―quick _ _ _ _ _‖.
Our false gods, including _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ , and our desire
to be _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
A false definition of ―dignity‖ (as self-determination).
There doesn’t seem to be a ―place‖ for suffering.
Utilitarianism - the idea that there comes a time when we have
outlived our _ _ _ _ _ _ _ or ―usefulness‖.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _: the belief that we’re animals who can be put out
of our misery. -37-
TWO EXTREMES OF THE “END-OF-LIFE” DEBATE:
1. SUICIDE AND EUTHANASIA: “My Will, Not Thy Will, Be Done!”
A. Key Principles:
It‟s our “ _ _ _ _ _ ” to determine when-and-how we or
others will die.
We should decide the time of our death so as to “ _ _ _ _ _ ”
- Suffering and frustration. (Romans 5:1-5; 8:20-21)
- Excessive expense (Isaiah 43:4a)
- The new “evil-foe” called “indignity”.
B. Major Proponents: (22 US groups)“The Society for the Right-to-
Die; “End-of-Life Choices”(“Hemlock Society”& “Final Exit”).
Right To Die International lists world‟s societies by nation.
C. Results: Physician Aid-in-Dying (PAD) requires the one dying
to “_ _ _ _ - administer” the lethal dose of medication.
November 1994: Oregon citizens legalized physician-
assisted suicide by passing “Measure 16- Death With
Dignity Act” (ODDA) that went into effect in October 1997.
2002: the Netherlands became first nation of the world to
legalize euthanasia, allowing physicians to administer lethal
drugs to patients and sending them home to die. According
to Life News (6-21-2010), there were 2,636 “reported” cases
in 2009, up from 1,815 in 2003. As of 2007, 10% of all deaths
in Holland were tied to the practice of “terminal sedation”.
In 2008 the state of Washington‟s “Initiative 1000” passed.
On 12-31-2009, Montana‟s supreme court legalized PAD.
Presently, euthanasia is illegal in _ _ _ of America‟s states.
2006 “Manifesto”of The World Federation of Right-to-Die Societies
―The World Federation of the Right to Die Societies (international, non-
government agency) is aware of the increasing concern to many
individuals over their right to die with dignity.
Believing in the rights and freedom of all person, we affirm this right to die
with dignity, meaning in peace and without suffering. All competent adults
– regardless of their nationalities, professions, religious beliefs, and ethical
and political views – who are suffering unbearably from ―incurable illness‖
should have the possibility of various choices at the end of their life.
Death is unavoidable. We strongly believe that the manner and time of
dying should be left to the decision of the individual, assuming such
demands do not result in harm to society other than the sadness
associated with death.
The voluntarily expressed will of individuals, once they are fully informed
of their diagnosis, prognosis, and available means of relief, should be
respected by all concerned as an expression of intrinsic human rights.‖
-38-
D. “The Living Will” Term: originated at a 1967 meeting of the
Euthanasia Society (today‟s “Concern for the Dying”),Chicago
attorney, Luis Kutner, proposed such a document to make the
idea of “euthanasia” more acceptable. A 1985 headline in USA
Today stated, “Living Wills First Step, Euthanasia Group Say.”
The Patient Self-Determination Act (strongly endorsed by the
Right to Die Society) requires hospitals and nursing homes to
“ask” patients if they have any kind of medical directive(“living
will” or “durable power of attorney”). Sadly, federal officials
have discussed using “living wills” to reduce health costs.
2. ARTIFICIALLY SUSTAINING(outer)SIGNS OF LIFE AT ALL COSTS
Even when outward signs of life (_ _ _ _ _-dead) are absent.
Even when it appears God has called the spirit from its body.
3. GOD‟S WILL FOR “END-OF-LIFE” ISSUES:
Always _ _ _ _ , never kill!
When no hope of recovery exists, let the dying process _ _ _
its course.
Always provide loving care (continual shelter, warmth, food,
water, and emotional and spiritual support).
Keep the dying as comfortable and _ _ _ _ - free as possible
without “hastening” their death.
4. OUR STRUGGLE:
Luther viewed suffering and anxiety as the “battleground
where theology is put into practice”, where we struggle with
our relationship with God, strengthened by His _ _ _ _ _ .
(Suffering gives us Christians opportunities to show Christ’s love by
our service and witness by God’s Word to our _ _ _ _ in Christ.
In our “new life in Christ”, God calls us to a life of _ _ _ _ _ _ _
that involves sacrifice, not to a life of constant pleasure and
freedom from distress.
Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be
free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve
one another humbly in love.
Difficulties of being a long-term care-giver for someone who
has a prolonged illness, is handicapped, or dying:
a. Physical exhaustion and emotional strain. (These can lead
some to say: ―I’ve had it! Do we withdraw treatment or not?‖)
b. The financial expense.
Our Questions as Christians:
1.. Is what I’ll decide in the best interest of the patient or _ _?
2.. Do I want to withdraw treatment because I can’t or
don’t- want-to bear the burden anymore or because the
treatment is a burden to my loved one?
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PRINCIPLES AT LIFE’S END:
(Taken from February 1993‘s: ―Christian Care at Life‘s End‖ report of the
L.C.M.S. Commission on Theology and Church Relations.)
Principle 1: Euthanasia, in its proper sense, is a synonym for mercy killing,
which involves suicide and/or murder. It is, therefore, contrary
to God’s law.
Principle 2: As Creator, God alone knows with certainty whether a disease or
an injury is incurable.
Principle 3: When God-given powers of the body to sustain its own life can
longer function, and doctors in their professional judgment conclude
that there is no real hope for recovery, even with life-support
instruments, a Christian may in good conscience ―let nature take its
course‖.
Principle 4: Administering pain-killing medications, even at the risk of
shortening life, is permissible, since this doesn’t entail the choice of
choice of death as either a means or an end.
Principle 5: It is good ethical procedure for the doctor to request and receive a
statement signed by the patient, if competent to consent, or by the
nearest of kin, agreeing to the uselessness of further ―heroic
efforts‖ and consenting to termination of treatments.
Principle 6: Each person, no matter how infirm and socially useless he or she
may appear to be, deserves to be accepted as a being created in
the image of God.
Principle 7: While suffering is an intrusion into life, it provides the opportunity for
Christian witness and service.
Principle 8: Often the time prior to death is so wrapped in mystery that no one
ought forcibly to interrupt the movement of a man’s spirit as it may
be communicating through God’s Spirit with his Creator and
Redeemer by way of responding in trust and inner yearning.
Principle 9: Death is not merely a physical but a crucial spiritual event for each
person.
Principle 10:Any decisions made in this highly complex area, and any actions
taken that may later appear to have been wrong, have been
redeemed by that forgiveness which is available to all who put their
trust in the work and merits of mankind’s Savior and Redeemer.
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THE QUESTION OF NUTRITION AND HYDRATION:
With someone having a terminal illness, death is imminent with-or-
without feeding. When organs begin to shut down with the result that
food and fluids can‟t be processed normally, they may do more harm
than good and cause increased discomfort. In such a case, with-
holding or withdrawing food may be done with the intent of relieving
the patient of any extra _ _ _ _ _ _ during his or her last hours.
Christians may disagree as to whether a treatment is “ordinary” and
should be accepted, or “extraordinary” and may be refused. Such a
vexing question concerns whether medical provision of nutrition and
hydration may be refused in cases of a “persistent vegetative state”.
In some cases, nutrition and hydration are withdrawn because the
patient isn‟t dying fast enough.
―In cases where it is not possible in any way to determine a
patient‘s own assessments concerning the burdens and benefits of
the treatment, the wisest choice is to continue provision of nutrition
and hydration. In light of continuing disagreement in society and in
the church concerning whether such treatment is required or
optional, continued feeding is wise because, even if it errs, it plainly
errs in an attempt to care and not to kill. Furthermore, in these
circumstances continued feeding is wise because is effectively
blocks the temptation [that] society may have solely to aim at the
death of patients whose ―biological tenacity‖ has become
inconvenient and troublesome.‖ (From CTCR’s February 1993, ―Christian
Care at Life’s End‖, page 14.)
―People sometimes go beyond what is clinical, though they call it
clinical. For example, basic food and water and air to breathe are
no longer medical issues. They are necessities that every human
being requires. And yet when you talk about comatose patients,
and you try to make a decision on how much medical treatment to
give them, often things non-medical are drawn in as if they are also
medical. Do we feed them? Hydrate them? To me, those are
basic human needs and ought not to be debated. If you‘re talking
about whether to treat with an antibiotic, whether to do surgery or
some other invasive procedure, that would depend on the benefit of
lack of it.‖ (Rev. Richard C. Eyer, former Director of Pastoral Care at Columbia
Hospital, Milwaukee, WI; presently Director Emeritus of Concordia Bioethics
Institute, Concordia University, Mequon, Wisconsin….)
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SPECIAL CONCERNS REGARDING “LIVING WILLS”:
Legally, we Americans have the right to “refuse” treatment,
but in the future, we may need to “_ _ _ _ _ _ _” treatment.
“Living will” language can be deceptive: to direct in advance
that health-care personnel withhold or withdraw all life-
sustaining treatment at “some” time under “unspecified
circumstances” is unwise. (A legally binding ―living will‖ make no
distinction between a 90 year old refusing ―heroic treatment‖ after a
struggle with cancer and a young-adult injured in a car wreck.)
Living Will “legislation” is increasingly used to justify removal
of even ordinary means of medical treatment and supportive
nursing care (including food and water).
Vague Terms:
- Most living wills begin something like this: “If I should
have an incurable or irreversible condition that will
cause my death in a relatively short time….‖ ―Incurable or
irreversible‖ have been used to describe chronic or
debilitating diseases like arthritis or mental illness.
- The Living Will goes on: “I direct my attending
physician…”That physician might not be your family doctor
or one who knows your wishes. This statement takes the
authority to make decisions about your health care away
from your family and gives it to a doctor you might not know.
- Next is the statement: “to withhold or withdraw medical
treatment that only prolongs the dying process”. There’s
a problem with how ―medical treatment‖ can be defined.
This isn’t just ―tube feeding‖. In a nursing home, a doctor
must prescribe even a person’s regular diet. Under pressure
to decrease medical costs, you might be sanctioning the
withdrawal of something you never intended. To remove
food and fluids _ _ _ _ _ _ _ someone is dying and can no
longer process them is different from removing them to
_ _ _ _ someone die.
- If you say you don’t want “life-sustaining” treatment if you
become permanently unconscious, remember that some
diagnosed in that condition have regained consciousness.
Also, there’s disagreement in what constitutes ―life-
sustaining‖ treatment: medication needed by a diabetic?
Note concerning the lack of communication in future decision-
making: In one survey of nursing home residents, over 80% said
they’d want beneficial care or life support; when their families were
surveyed, only 30% thought their loved one would want life-support.
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Although we can make out an ―Advanced Directive Form‖, it’s
best to make our end-of-life wishes known to a trusted family
member or friend or to appoint a durable power of attorney who will
speak for us when we cannot speak for ourselves.
Alternatives to a “Living Will”: (Suggestions by Lutherans For Life)
Always consult an attorney when preparing an DPACC to ensure the
language meets all legal requirements. These can be revoked at any time.
Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care (DPAHC): This
allows one or more people to act on your behalf in ―health care
decisions‖ only. Choose one or more who share you values about
the sanctity of life, people with whom you’ve discussed your wishes
regarding treatment in the event that you are incapacitated. Try not
to be ―too‖ specific as this will limit those who carry out your wishes.
“The Protective Medical Decisions Document” (produced by the
International Anti-Euthanasia Task Force‖, there is a multi-state
version that conforms to most state laws. For states with ―specific’
laws, they have individual ―state‖ forms. Write or phone:
International Task Force
PO Box 760
Steubenville, Ohio 43952 (740-282-3810)
(An $8.00 donation is requested for postage and handling)
“Will to Live” (produced by the National Right to Life Committee,
their forms are state specific and easy to follow. Download from:
www.nrlc.org/euthanasia/willtolive or write to:
Will to Live Project
419 Seventh St. N.W. – Suite 500
Washington, D.C. 20004
“Durable Power of Attorney: Christian Version (produced by
Christian Life Resources, is state specific and comes with a
detailed explanation. Contact:
Christian Life Resources
2949 N. Mayfair Road – Suite 309
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53222-4304 (800-729-9535)
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SUICIDE & A CHRISTIAN RESPONSE
Introduction: Suicide is never the answer for escaping our pain and problems.
God loves us too much to desire any one of His children to choose suicide as an
option for solving their pain. We can rest assured in the comfort that Jesus, our
Savior, Himself experienced horrible suffering and humiliation, and that, unlike
others, He understands exactly what we’re going through. We look forward to
heaven, and strengthen each other to get ―through‖ the difficulties of this life as
brothers and sisters in Christ, together clinging to the promise that ―God is our
refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.‖ (Psalm 46:1)
1. Life is a _ _ _ _ of God.
Genesis 2:7 …the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the
ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man
became a living being.
2. Life and death are acts of God and are in His _ _ _ _ _, not ours.
Deuteronomy 32:39 …There is no god beside Me. I put to death and I bring
to life. I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of My hand
3. Isn‟t our life “ours” to do with it as we please?
What are we to do with our bodies?
_ _ _ _ _ God.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the
Holy Spirit, Who is in you, Whom you have received from God? You are not
your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.‖
_ _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ to Him.
Romans 14:7-8 For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to
himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord.
So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.‖
4. What is God‟s view on suicide?
Exodus 20:13 – ―You shall not murder.‖ (This includes suicide.)
Luther: What does this mean?
“We should fear and love God so that we do not hurt or harm our
neighbor in his body, but help and support him in every physical need.”
5. Why does it matter if someone commits suicide?
Genesis 1:26-27 – ―Then God said, `Let Us make man in Our image,
according to Our likeness;…‘ So God created man in His own image; in the
image of God He created him; male and female He created them.‖
To take our own life is an affront to God who gave us life so that we might
worship and relate to Him in a way that none of His other creatures can!
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6. Suicide is “murder” in God‟s sight, and seems to be an example of
extreme self-love, and is murder in God‟s sight.
What a suicide appears to be saying:
It‟s _ _ life and I‟ll do with it as I please. (1 Corinthians 6:20)
I don‟t deserve to _ _ _ _ _ _; suffering is of no use in my life.
(Romans 5:1-4; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
God can‟t/won‟t help me, so _‟_ _ deliver myself from my trouble.
(Psalm 50:15)
I do not _ _ _ _ _ _ of this sin. (Mark 1:15)
I don‟t _ _ _ _ if I hurt feelings of you I leave behind. (Eph.4:32)
7. Yet, only God can _ _ _ _ _ a suicide‟s eternal destiny.
Only God knows whether faith was in their heart or not, and whether or not
they took their life in a ―fully aware‖ state or were under the influence of drugs
or alcohol, or if they had a last minute repentance as they were dying.
8. Things we can say:
What happened is between the Lord and the one who took his/her own
life. The Lord will have to sort this out.
They made a terrible choice. (Moipolai, ga a lelelwe.)
It’s ok to be angry with those who commit suicide because of the anguish
in us and others that their deaths have raised.
They chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
9. Make no mistake about it, suicide is dangerous spiritually.
Who are the 2 people mentioned in God‟s Word who took their own life?
1 Samuel 31:4 _ _ _ _ said to his armor-bearer, `Draw your sword and
run me through, or these uncircumcised fellows will come and run me
through and abuse me.‘ But his armor-bearer was terrified and would
not do it; so _ _ _ _ took his own sword and fell on it.‖
Matthew 26:24 … woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be
better for him if he had not been born.
Matthew 27:3-5 When _ _ _ _ _ who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was
condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins
to the chief priests and the elders. `I have sinned,‘ he said, `for I have
betrayed innocent blood.‘ `What is that to us?‘ they replied. `That‘s your
responsibility. So _ _ _ _ _ threw the money into the temple and left. Then
he went away and hanged himself.
10. How much does God value us and our lives?
Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of
them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the
very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don‘t be afraid; you are worth
more than many sparrows.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we
were still sinners, Christ died for us
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MINISTERING TO SOMEONE WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS:
Recognize the “clues” to suicide. (Remember, some don‘t show them!)
- Words of warning: ―I wish I was dead‖; ―I have nothing to
live for!‖; ―Others would be happy if I were gone.‖;
―Goodbye!‖ (Look on Face Book pages for clues.)
- Trust your own judgment: If you believe someone is in
danger of suicide, act on your beliefs.
- Ask directly: ―Are you thinking about committing suicide?‖
―Do you have a plan?‖
Tell Others: Share your knowledge with people who might help in a
suicidal crisis – supportive family members, friends, and a pastor or
spiritual advisor.
Stay With A Suicidal Person:
- Don’t leave them alone if you sense immediate danger.
- Risk breaking a confidence if someone reveals suicidal plans
to you. You may have to betray a secret to save a life.
Listen Intelligently: Encourage suicidal persons to talk to you.
- Listen and sympathize with what they‟re saying:
―You‘re right. What you‘ve told me is depressing. I can see
why you feel miserable.‖
- Avoid giving false reassurances: ―Everything will be O.K.!‖
Ask: ―Are you angry with someone?‖
―What could you do to make things better?‖
Urge Them To Seek Professional Help:
- Urge them to see a Christian counselor, pastor, doctor,
psychiatrist, or social worker during a suicidal crisis or after
an attempt.
- If they hesitate, you may have to call 9-1-1.
- Encourage them to continue with therapy even when it
becomes difficult.
Be Supportive:
- Show them that you care.
- Tell them that their life means something to you!
- Have them make a contract with you to call when depressed.
Share The Gospel Of Jesus With Them:
- Share how God didn’t think the world was complete without
them being in it, and so He made them.
- Share how God didn’t think ―eternity‖ or ―heaven‖ would be
complete without them being with Him, so He sent His Son,
Jesus to win them eternal life.
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