Fellowship

Marriage CoMission









www.marriagecomission.com



Contents

 Introduction

Why Marriage Matters

Brief History of the Marriage CoMission

Participants

 Structure

Description

Going West Together

 Charter

Preamble

Principles & Values

The Marriage CoMission: A National Campaign to

Strengthen Marriage and the Family in America



Why Marriage Matters

Marriage has existed in some approved form in every human society throughout recorded

history. Ancient cultures have known what the most recent research confirms - children

do best when raised by both biological parents. Protection of marriage as the cornerstone

for building the next generation has been a priority of all enduring cultures. Consider the

following data in evaluating the state of marriage and family in America today:1



 The marriage rate has plunged 48% since 1970, the national divorce rate stands at 50%

(for every two couples who marry in any given year, one gets divorced) and cohabitation has

soared by 1186% since 1960. (Couples who marry after living together are 50% more likely

to divorce than those who don’t.)

 Births to unwed couples have jumped 700%, from 5% of all births in 1960 to 36.4% of all

births in 2005. An additional 27% of children will see their parents divorce. That means

63% of our children now grow up in a broken family.

 1/3 of American children live away from their fathers and 40% of those never see their

fathers in a typical year.

 The impact on our children? Children from broken families are seven times more likely to

live in poverty, three times as apt to be expelled from school, are in poorer physical and

emotional health, suffer higher rates of physical and sexual abuse, achieve lower grades in

school, are three times more likely have a baby out of wedlock and 12 times as likely to be

incarcerated.



Some cities are changing this … Chattanooga, Tennessee has had an organized

community marriage initiative for 8 years. This city has seen a 32% decrease in divorce,

a 28% decrease in out-of-wedlock births, and significantly increased father participation

with children. Catalytic city marriage initiatives are proving effective in strengthening

marriage and the family and in changing people’s attitudes and choices regarding

marriage.



The Marriage CoMission is a campaign to mobilize marriage champions from

business, media, churches, marriage ministries, educational institutions, and research

groups to overlap and pool their influence and resources behind city leaders who take

responsibility for leading a marriage renaissance in their own communities.



While each sector has differing goals we share this purpose: To stir up the created desire

in men and women for life-long, healthy marriages, equipping them to lead strong

families and raise hope-filled children who will shape our nation and future generations.

To this end we join forces to strengthen marriage city by city and home by home.







1

Sources: “Encouraging Marriage, Discouraging Divorce” by Patrick Fagan, The Heritage Institute Backgrounder, No. 1421, March

26, 2001. “The State of Our Unions 2005”, Rutgers University, The Marriage Project, www.marriage.rutgers.edu. “Valued Marriages

Invaluable for All” by Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, December 16, 2005.

Brief History of the Marriage CoMission



Fellowship



In December 2003, WinShape Marriage hosted a Summit of marriage organizations,

authors, and leaders around the simple hope that stronger relationships will lead to greater

collaboration, which in turn will strengthen the Marriage Movement. This gathering

focused on the question, "How do cultures change?" We observed that the proliferation of

marriage knowledge, materials, and ministries seemed to have done little to stem the

downward spiral of marriage and the traditional family in America. What do we need to

do differently? Conclusion: Overlapping networks of leaders, overlapping resources, and

overlapping institutions with shared purpose and direction will unleash the practical

dynamics of changing a culture.



Collaboration



In December 2004, WinShape Marriage hosted a second Summit. We sought to overlap

circles of influence among marriage champions in America. About 60 leaders from

corporate America, denominations, marriage ministries, media

and entertainment, education, and government and public services participated. During

the course of this Summit, the concept of the Marriage CoMission was born. This group

envisioned a neutral banner under which marriage champions from various circles of

influence could work together as allies in a strategically focused collaborative effort. And

what is the strategy that will stir the allies to new levels of collaboration? Conclusion:

Entrust the Marriage Movement to city leaders and elders and empower these leaders by

integrating our diverse resources in support of city marriage initiatives.



Strategy



The Marriage CoMission Strategy Summit in November, 2005, brought together people

from over sixty organizations who are passionate about improving marriage. These

marriage champions discussed how marriages in communities across America can be

positively impacted. WinShape Retreat in Rome, Georgia provided a welcoming place

where hearts were renewed and excitement reignited. The Marriage CoMission set goals

to begin measurable, transformational change in eight cities during 2006. Each

participant agreed that only through collaboration can these goals succeed. Drawing

from the ideas, dreams, and hopes that have been discussed for the past two years, the

Marriage CoMission leadership drafted a Charter to define what the Marriage CoMission

is and what it seeks to do. On the third day of the Summit, after discussion and prayer,

101 people signed the Charter signifying their commitment to strengthen marriages in

communities through collaboration. Signing the charter was a pivotal time in the history

of the Marriage CoMission. Each Summit participant now has another strategy through

which to funnel his or her passion for building healthy marriages.

Momentum



Bubba and Cindy Cathy, along with WinShape Retreat, once again graciously hosted the

Marriage CoMission Summit November 28 – 30, which brought together people from

over seventy organizations. The significant sector activity in 2006 generated much

excitement at the Summit. Each sector group gave an overview of its year, including the

events and connections that impacted current strategic goals. The eight target cities also

reported on the successes and challenges of their year and how the Marriage CoMission

had helped them. Participants commented on the feeling of growing momentum and

enthusiasm within the Marriage Movement and the Marriage CoMission. Relationships

were made and enhanced in the continued recognition that strong relationships can breed

a new level of collaboration. The sector groups were able to cross pollinate and to gain a

better understanding of how they can benefit and serve each other in 2007. The Summit

helped clarify the top strategies and activities that will move the Marriage CoMission

forward in 2007. For more information on the specific strategies of each sector group,

please see “Summit 2006” in the Resources section.

Marriage CoMission Participants



Dick & Anne Abel, CCC Military Ministry



Richard & Elizabeth Albertson, Live the Life Ministries



Cory Albracht, MarriageToday



David & Claudia Arp, Marriage Alive International



Lesley Bates, L.A.B. Media



Jay & Julie Baumgardner, First Things First



Joe Beam, Family Dynamics



Jonas & Anne Beiler, Family Resource & Counseling Center



Steve & Kathy Beirne, Nat’l Association of Catholic Family Life Ministries



Gene Bender, KIXL Radio



Bob & Jenni Boerner, Jr., N. AL Young Business Leaders



Michael Boerner, Unity Corporation



Debra Bosacki, Foundation for a Great Marriage



Tim & Sara Bouman, Care Ministries at NorthPoint



Ron & Ginger Braund, Family Business Transitions



Greg & Connie Brezina, Christian Families Today



Bill & Lynne Brown, Cedarville University



Kurt Bruner, Center for Strong Families



Marvin & Sonia Bussey, Teens at Work



Jim & Marlene Campana, Marriage Builders Family Resource Center



Ken & Dee Canfield, Love & Respect Marriage Conferences



Allan & Betsy Carlson, Howard Center



Bubba & Cindy Cathy, WinShape Foundation

Alan & Leslie Chambers, Exodus International



Gary & Karolyn Chapman, Calvary Baptist Church, Winston Salem



Kent & Carmen Choate, Baptist General Convention



Tim & Julie Clinton, American Association of Christian Counselors



Stephen Clouse, Stephen Clouse & Associates



Bill Coffin, Administration for Children & Families



Jim & Judy Comenzo, Cardone Industries



Jack Cosby, Healthy Families Inland Northwest



Paul Cowell, Whitestone Inn



Bryan & Missy Craig, Tulsa Men of Christ



Kelly Simpson Crawford & Rob Crawford, Active Relationships



Clay & Renee Cross, Holy Homes



Russ & Julie Crosson, Ron Blue & Company



Ronnie & Jacqueline Crudup, New Horizons Baptist Church



Carolyn Curtis & Charles Stolzenbach, Sacramento Healthy Marriage Project



Dave Dagget, Family Life



Diann Dawson, Administration for Children and Families



Matt & Pat Daniels, Alliance for Marriage



Ron Deal, Successful Stepfamilies



Scott & Jill Douglas, Focus on the Family



Larry & Susan Duncan, Church of God of Prophecy



Bill & Bridget Dunk, Growing Toward Oneness



Doug Dwyer, The Dwyer Group

Curtis & Eula Edwards, The Church Builders



Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs, Love & Respect Ministries



Jeremy Ennis, Consolidated Graphics



Brent Evans, MarriageToday



Jim & Karen Evans, Marriage Today



Norm & Bobbe Evans, Pro-Athletes Outreach



Jared Faellaci, Deloitte Consulting



David & Teresa Ferguson, Great Commandment Ministries



Robert Fisher, Center for Spiritual Renewal



Ray & Barbara Foster, FL Commission on Marriage



Jeff & Gail Fray, WinShape Marriage



Peter Frederich, US Army Chaplaincy



Susan Dutton Freund, Foundation for a Great Marriage



Eric & Jennifer Garcia, Association for Marriage & Family Ministries (AMFM)



Leo & Molly Godzich, National Association of Marriage Enrichment



Byron & Tricia Gossett, BridgeWorks Group



Mart & Diana Green, Mardel Corporation



Steve & Kathryn Hall, Empire Construction



Mark Gungor, Laugh Your Way America



Rick Harig, Legacy Resources LLC



Tony Hawk, Soderquist Center



Katie Hayes, ANTHEM (Dallas CMI)



Randy & Marilyn Hicks, Georgia Family Council



Tommy & Mimi Holland, Clayton County Marriage Initiative

Wade & Claudia Horn, ACF



Greg & Jamie Huett, Tyson Foods



Clifton & Jane Ives, United Methodist Church



Larry & Jennifer Jacobs, Howard Center



John Jauregui, Georgia Family Council



Stephen Judah, Columbus Marriage Coalition



Krysta Kavanaugh, Marriage Magazine



Jeff Kemp, Families Northwest



Tim & Darcy Kimmel, Family Matters



Jim & Peggy Kirkpatrick



Jason & Kelli Krafsky, Families Northwest



Tim & Marie Kuck, Regal Boat, Nathaniel’s Hope



Peter Larson, Life Innovations, Marriage Services



Darien & Andrea Lee, Marriage CoMission



Diana Leigh, Columbus Marriage Coalition



Robert & Judy Levy, Jamaica Broilers Group



Crawford & Karen Loritts, Campus Crusade for Christ



Gary & Debi Lydic, America’s Family Coaches



Hugh & Nancy Maclellan, Maclellan Foundation



Bob & Bev Maday, Chick-Fil-A, WinShape Foundation



Larry & Barbara Magnusson, Sonscape Recreational Ministries



John Majors, FamilyLife



Bob & Jo Martin, Ozark Marriage Matters

Mike & Sharon Hart May, Safe Haven Relationships



Jeff & Debby McElroy, Forever Families



Mike & Harriett McManus, Marriage Savers



Mark & Susan Merrill, Family First



Sherod & Phyllis Miller, Interpersonal Communication Programs



Ricky & Tonya Moore, Beulah Land Bible Church



Jeff Allen Mishler, Comedian



Keith & Sharon Morgan, Military Ministry, Campus Crusade



Jack & Bonnie Munday, Billy Graham Evangelical Association



Kelly Nichols, Consolidated Graphics



Paul & Dorothy Nichols, Marketplace Ministries



Terry Northcutt, Family Dynamics



Gary & Carrie Oliver, Center for Relationship Enrichment, John Brown University



Johnny & Lezlyn Parker, Relationship Fitness Builders



David & Karen Olson, Life Innovations



Les & Leslie Parrott, Center for Relationship Development



Robert & Jenni Paul, National Institute of Marriage



Todd & Susan Peterson



Nathan & Jane Phillips, Battlefield Ministries



Debbie Preece, Madison County Coalition for Healthy Marriages



Melvin & Joetta Preston, 7th Day Adventist



Mark Pyatt, National Institute of Marriage



Teresa Rankin, First Things First of Gaston County

Bill Reif, New Hope Ministries



Gary & Barbara Rosberg, America’s Family Coaches



Pete & Ginny Rowlett, ACME



Shannon Royce, Arlington Group



Jack & Joanne Samad, National Coalition for Protection of Children & Families



Todd & Beverly Sandel, Peachtree Counseling Center



John & Kathy Schleier, Whitfield-Murray County Marriage Initiative



Gene & Eldeen Schrader, North Atlanta Counseling Services



Bill & Elizabeth Seabrook, First Things First of Gaston County



Chuck & Ruby Shoemake, C.A.R.E Ministries



Jeff Schubert, Lutheran Church – MO Synod



Barry & Ellen Sheets, Citizens for Civic Values



Clarence Shuler, Building Lasting Relationships



Patrick & Dwaina Six, Growing Toward Oneness



Brad & Allison Small, Amarillo South Church



Rozario & Angela Slack, First Things First



Greg & Erin Smalley, Center for Relationship Enrichment



Brad & Kellie Snavely, Michigan Family Forum



John Stanley, Legacy Group



Scott & Jen Sticksel, BridgeWorks Group



Shawn & Christina Stoever, WinShape Marriage



David & Jan Stoop, Center for Family Therapy



Jerry & Connie Sublett, Refuge at River Falls

Jim & Sharon Supp, McLean Bible Church



Steve & Kathy Taylor, Alliance for Marriage



Mitch Temple, Focus on the Family



Art & Lysa TerKeurst, Proverbs 31 Ministry



Joyce Thomas, Administration for Children & Families



John Trent, Center for Strong Families



Matt Turvey, Life Innovations



John & Shirley Van Epp, LifeChangers



Tim & Jo Victor, Worldwide Marriage Encounter



John Vining, Church of God Family Ministries



Clarence & Ja’Ola Walker, Clarence Walker Ministries



Ronald & Doris Warford, Great Commandment Network, New Birth Church



Roland Warren, National Fatherhood Initiative



Steve Watters, Focus on the Family



Phil & Cindy Waugh, Covenant Marriages



Carlis Williams, ACF



Murray & Deb Wilton, Southside Baptist Church



Chuck & Joanne Zeiser, Southern Champion Tray

Sector Working Groups: Purpose & Objectives

THE MARRIAGE COMISSION IS ORGANIZED INTO FIVE SECTOR WORKING

GROUPS



1. Community Mobilization

2. Marriage Services

3. Church Leadership

4. Corporate Leadership

5. Media



EACH SECTOR WORKING GROUP SHALL SHARE THESE PURPOSES:



 To network and expand sector participation in the Marriage CoMission

 Integrate sector resources into the Marriage CoMission effort





1. COMMUNITY MOBILIZATION WORKING GROUP

PURPOSE: The Community Mobilization Working Group will seek to profile “best

practices” for successful grass roots and city marriage initiatives, and to provide the

Marriage CoMission with recommendations on how to integrate sector resources into

locally empowered marriage initiatives. The group will network with community

organizers across the country to foster collaboration and relationship.



TO THIS END, WE WILL WORK TO

 Set the course of action for the other working groups by continuously improving a

comprehensive understanding of an effective city marriage initiative

 Continue to refine the development plan and delivery system through which the

Marriage CoMission will work

 Build partnership and promote “ownership” among a city’s community leaders for

their city marriage initiative



2. MARRIAGE SERVICES WORKING GROUP

PURPOSE: The Marriage Services Working Group seeks to grow relationship,

fellowship, and collaboration within the marriage ministry sector, and to seek avenues

for shared strategies in integrating marriage resources into the Marriage CoMission.



TO THIS END, WE WILL WORK TO

 Foster relationship and collaboration among marriage leaders and organizations

 Grow participation in collaborating in the Marriage CoMission

 Mentor groups within cities so that they are equipped and empowered to achieve

sustained focus on healthy marriages, and

 Work with churches to help them fulfill their mission in growing healthy

marriages

3. CHURCH LEADERSHIP WORKING GROUP

PURPOSE: The Church Leadership Working Group seeks to extend relationship and

fellowship within the Church and para-church organizations, to collaborate on

strategies to engage the religious community in initiatives to strengthen marriage and

family, and to integrate these efforts into city-wide marriage initiatives.



TO THIS END, WE WILL WORK TO

 Network denominational, church, and para-church leaders to use their influence

to strengthen local religious participation in city marriage initiatives

 Work with Marriage CoMission allies to develop regional training opportunities

to grow the local church’s capacity for marriage ministry

 Seek out avenues, partnerships, and alliances to strengthen the marriages of

clergy

 Increase collaboration and fellowship among a community’s pastors

 Encourage among Christ’s followers an identity of “loving God and others”

(Matthew 22:37-40) as the foundation of healthy relationships

 Encourage churches in giving priority to on-going relational ministry to

marriages, families, and single adults, preparing them to live life as God

intended

 Establish a nationwide network of prayer intercessors for the Marriage

CoMission and the marriage movement



4. CORPORATE LEADERSHIP WORKING GROUP

PURPOSE: The Corporate Leadership Working Group will function to mobilize and

network marriage champions among America’s business leaders with a goal to assist

them in leading catalytic marriage initiatives in their communities and to encourage

them to endorse marriage strengthening employee benefits.



TO THIS END, WE WILL WORK TO

 Increase awareness of the positive economic impact of strong marriages on

business

 Promote corporate marriage policies which will support the overall community

focus of healthy marriages

 Encourage financial support of community healthy marriage activities



5. MEDIA WORKING GROUP

PURPOSE: To network and enlist the skills and public platform of media and

entertainment leaders to help the Marriage CoMission better communicate and serve

its partners, and to create media and public relations messaging to advance the

marriage movement, with particular emphasis on strategies and cities where the

Marriage CoMission has focus.



TO THIS END, WE WILL WORK TO

 Identify, exhort, train, and mobilize recognizable, talented, and winsome

messengers for marriage

 Serve these messengers by helping them be successful in their own marriages and

in advocating for publicly honoring marriages

 Identify, build relationships, and help the Marriage CoMission coordinate the

efforts of existing and emerging marriage media organizations, ministries, and

messengers

 Assist with clarification, branding, and marketing the City Marriage Initiatives

 Raise visibility and cultivate relationships to increase financial capital

Going West Together – Collaboration Works

By Jeff Fray



I love the era of American history when the prairie schooners and wagons filled

up with dreamers who had the courage to sell everything and follow the dream for a

better life in the West. A great collage of men, women, families, immigrants, and more

gathered at the gateway cities like St. Louis to go west together. Why travel together? It

was safer, there were guides who knew the trail ahead, and the strength of fellowship and

community made life on the trail easier and more enjoyable.

“Going west” for the Marriage CoMission means working together to stir up

the created desire within men and women for life-long, healthy marriages, equipping

them to build strong families and raise hope-filled children who will shape our nation and

future generations. In each different sector of the Marriage CoMission there are unique

purposes and strategies that are being pursued.

The Corporate Group is focused on marriage and family-building business

policies and practices and encouraging corporations to provide leadership and resources

to local city marriage initiatives. The language and methods used by this group reflect

the culture they operate in.

The Church Group is “going west” with a focus on strengthening marriage and

family ministry in the local church and helping grow the influence and leadership the

church has in city marriage initiatives. They have a different language and differing

purposes, but are still on the westward journey.

Marriage Ministries have the purpose of improving marriage services and

resources and doing a better job of building relationships with the on-going marriage and

family champions within the cities where they serve. The methods that this group uses to

engage in the Marriage CoMission wagon train are unique to their sector.

A similar story is repeated for the Media Group, the Research Group, the

Education group, and the Public Group. So, our aim is not to amalgamate all the sectors

into one but rather to overlap the efforts of each sector in order to reach the tipping

point of cultural impact. Each sector mobilizes marriage champions within its area and

looks for means to coordinate their efforts with the other sectors. This strategy allows

each sector to remain true to the culture and language they serve in yet still enjoy the

synergy and leverage that comes with collaboration.

If a company in a MC targeted city is establishing a marriage and family-

strengthening focus for its employees, and at the same time there is catchy pro-marriage

media messaging in the city, along with local churches reaching out with marriage

ministry, then the company’s efforts will be enhanced and more likely to succeed. The

same story could be told for the churches, the school system, and the court system.

The road “west” for the Marriage CoMission will be a learning experience for all

of us. Relationships will be challenged, conflicts will emerge, competing interests will

collide. Yet, is there a better choice than our working together in winning America’s

heart for marriage and putting the family back on the road to wholeness? I don’t believe

so. Often marriages grow just because there are no good alternatives and the couple

settles in to making it work. Let’s problem-solve all along this journey we are on,

keeping our purpose in mind, and seeking ways to make the Marriage CoMission

Campaign a success.

The Marriage CoMission Charter

Preamble

WE, THE ALLIES OF THE MARRIAGE COMISSION, STANDING ON THE

SHOULDERS OF THOSE WHO CHAMPIONED MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY

BEFORE US, DETERMINE



 To save future generations from the destructive consequences of failed marriages

and broken homes,



 To work together to fan the embers of hope in men and women to fulfill their

created desire for life-long, healthy marriages, and



 To equip married couples to lead strong families.



TO THESE ENDS



 We unite our efforts as allies in a common mission,



 We place a high value on preserving strong relationships among ourselves as we

lift up and encourage all who seek to preserve strong marriages in America,



 We call upon Community and Church Leaders to take responsibility for a

marriage restoration in their own communities and lead a marriage city initiative,

and



 We commit ourselves to their success.



WE HAVE RESOLVED TO COMBINE OUR EFFORTS TO ACCOMPLISH THESE

AIMS:



 To renew America’s hope and vision for the institution of marriage,



 To significantly reduce the divorce rate,



 To increase marriage satisfaction and health, and



 To strengthen families and preserve the next generation.





THE PRINCIPLES OF THE MARRIAGE COMMISSION



 Relationship: Fellowship builds relationship, relationship gives strength to

collaboration. We place a high value on investing in relationship and modeling

our message by how we treat each other.

 Working together pleases God.



 Repentance: Humble, contrite hearts are critical to strong leadership. Repentance

is an essential element in all our organizational meetings.



 Credit belongs to God.



 Finances: Allies pay their own way.



 Neutral Banner: The Marriage CoMission is a neutral banner under which all

allies can work.



 Dominion: We respect and protect the unique gifts and resources that each ally

brings, recognizing each other’s stewardship responsibilities before God.



 Empower: We seek to empower Community and Church Leaders and unleash

marriage champions (people who are passionate about building strong marriages

in a community).



 Responsive: We seek to be responsive and flexible as opportunities and

challenges emerge, submitting our best made plans to emerging realities.



 Prayer: We will mobilize prayer intercessors nationwide.



 Faith: The source of our unity is our shared faith in Jesus Christ. We gladly and

respectfully work with all who seek the well being of future generations through

healthy, life-long marriages between men and women.





THE VALUES OF THE MARRIAGE COMISSION:



 Giving: Our first priority is to give of ourselves, our time and our resources



 Serving: We seek to serve rather than be served



 Unifying: We desire ever increasing levels of unity, collaboration, and

fellowship



 Entrusting: We seek to entrust the marriage movement to Community and

Church Leaders and equip them to be successful in leading a

marriage restoration in their community



 Measuring: We desire accountability for measurable results