HUSBAND KILLER
Night and day, he stared at the tube. One TV set
wasn’t good enough for him, he bought six. He had
one TV set hanging up over the bed. He even had
one in the bathroom. The super had to run a special
line into the fusebox. He had three color sets in the
living room and he put them all on at once. On three
sets, three different shows. I went nuts watching him
switch channels from one of them director’s chairs
with his name on the back. I told him he was power-
crazed and that I couldn’t take it anymore, but he
wouldn’t listen. I began going to the movies just to
get out of the house. Then one night I came home
and he’s got on the All-Star Football, the roller derby,
and Joan Crawford all at once. He was on his second
case of beer. The movie I went out to see was lousy
and I was depressed to begin with, so when I was
confronted with this sickening spectacle I took that
iron dog he bought me in Palisades Park and I killed
him with his own gift. I sold the TV sets and flew to
Miami but the cops caught me under an assumed
name. I got six to ten. I would have got life, but the
lady judge took pity on me. In Greece I probably
would have gotten the chair. You know something?
As soon as he bought that iron dog I knew there was
going to be trouble.